Powerful Principles of Personal Growth

Eating Humble Pie

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” Charles de Montesquieu

 

This article addresses not only of the key elements of positive personal growth but a major personal struggle in my own. Exercising humility has been and is still a daily chore for me. I’ve worked hard at it and I’ve come a long way – still every time I start to get a bit complacent (you know – on my high horse), something happens to bring me right back down to earth.

 

So, why am I even qualified to write an article aiming to help you with your own struggle with humility? Well, that’s because for one thing, I’ve had to eat humble pie more times than I care to regurgitate and for a second thing I’ve seen the profound and positive impact expressing humility has had on my personal growth. It’s truly remarkable what positivity and blessings are unleashed when you remain humble – it’s really a “WOW” effect.

 

Additionally, I’ve also come to understand that many people don’t even understand what it truly means to be humble. Many think that it is a skill that you can practice and suddenly you’re humble. Others believe that those who have are almost always arrogant and those who have not are humble. Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

I have studied humility from my own experiences and the experiences of others; I have been schooled and scolded by great men and women and I have seen incredible acts of humility in both those people who have and those who have not. I can certainly confirm for you that humility has nothing to do with what you have but certainly to do with who you are as a person.

 

Let’s define humility.

 

First… what the dictionary says…

Humility – lack of false pride, lowliness of mind, meekness and a modest estimate of one’s own worth.

 

Now while that’s sounds about right, it doesn’t really sit well with me because from what I’ve experienced in humility, both in my own personal growth and in others, humility means a whole lot more than that. Here’s how I define humility.

 

What Dean L. Forbes says…

Humility – The courage to do what you know is right, the wisdom to seek counsel from experience, to value and live in service to others, be devoid of false pride and to allow your actions to speak louder than your words in expressing and sharing  your divine gifts and talents.

 

To me, this is a more powerful and more reflective definition of humility.

 

What Does It Really Take to Achieve Humility?

A whole lot of patience and yup you guessed it – HUMILITY. J It might sound strange to hear that but it’s true – part of the process in achieving humility actually requires you to be humble. This makes it a tricky feat because many people often find themselves in quite a quagmire of confusion in discerning humility in themselves.

Seriously though, what does it really take to achieve humility? If you are willing to commit to and practice the following 8 principles – you can most certainly achieve true humility.

 

1. Admit what you don’t know – you must commit to knowing enough to know that you don’t know everything. In fact the more you learn the more there is to learn; you cannot exhaust knowledge because knowing only begets more things undiscovered which is why knowledge is infinite.  

If perception is reality and everyone had a different perception of everything, how much could one man ever really know considering there are 6 billion of us on earth living in an ever changing world. No one then, can know everything so stop pretending as if you do – you’re only fooling yourself.

My father used to tell me “Dean, it is better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” So again, it is simply impossible for you to know everything and sooner or later you will make a fool of yourself and people will know it – worse, they will remember it.

2. Learn from experience – whether it is your own or someone else’s, make it a point to learn from experience. It is the best teacher after all because once someone has gone through something, what they know about it is significantly different from what they did before the experience. This is why although we have the ability to empathize with another’s plight, often times, unless you have had a similar experience, it is very difficult to understand exactly what the person is feeling.  

This is why experience is great – it can help you avoid the pitfalls of those who’ve gone before you. It is false pride to believe that you are greater than the person in whose footsteps you walk before having walked the path. Ever heard the term “fools rush in?” Well that’s what happens when you ignore experience and put your pride first only to end up on your derriere soon after.

3. Listen twice as much as you talk – this use to get me into trouble all the time as a youngster and sometimes as an adult. I love to talk but I didn’t know when to shut up and before you knew it, I was on a soap box pontificating about how great I am.

Another one of my father’s lessons use to come in this format; “Dean, why do you think God gave you two ears and one mouth?” It took me all of my teenage years to figure this one out and when I finally did, it caused an immediate paradigm shift. With two ears and one mouth, you should listen twice as much as you talk. This is how you begin the practice of seeking first to understand and then to be understood.

Everything is not about you and what you do and who you are and what your accolades have been. There’s much more to life than you so get off your high horse or be prepared to take a hard tumble. I have been knocked off the horse plenty by simply talking too much and doing very little and that’s just lame.

4. Let your actions do the talking – this goes hand in hand with the third principle; allow what you do to speak for you. When you do this, you won’t have a need to boast about your accomplishments – your track record will be clear; your reputation will precede you and people will be able to see it. It is far better to have others sing your praises than you because when other people do it, it carries far more weight. When you do it, you’re just bragging and no one likes a know-it-all and a show-off.

This is not to say that you can never speak of your own accolades – you certainly can as long as it is relevant. For instance, if you are asked about an accomplishment and you give an account of how you achieved it, that’s perfectly acceptable. If you are advising or teaching someone else and your experience is a relevant example, by all means use it.

5. Accept criticism openly – walls of self-righteousness will always amplify your arrogance and come off as condescending. Humility requires the ability to accept criticism openly with the intent to understand it, process it fully and use what you can of the information to improve yourself. Your personal growth is largely based on your openness to learn and change.

Even if you perceive that the criticism you’ve received is a personal attack, humility still requires the same level of openness and willingness to change otherwise you will lack the wisdom to see the value in it. Whether you use the information or not is irrelevant, it only matters that you remain open to receive it.

If you can learn to listen openly, you will learn a great deal even from those who speak badly.

6. Accept compliments graciously – this is an art that requires self awareness and balance. Many people really don’t know how to accept a compliment. I’ve mostly seen this in two extremes.

On one hand, some people act extremely conceited upon receiving a compliment – they behave as if it was inevitable that they receive such praise and they are quick to tell you why. On the other hand, some people are so insecure about whether they are being humble or not that they completely discount the value of their acts by refusing the compliment all together.

You might think that the latter is the better of the two approaches but I caution you in that thought. It is actually insulting because not only do you devalue your acts but you devalue the person giving the compliment – they may perceive your response as an insult; that you don’t believe they can recognize true value.

Instead of either of these two responses, the best way to go is to simply respond to a compliment by saying, “Thank you, it was my pleasure.” Don’t say, “It was nothing or you don’t have to thank me.” The person knows they don’t have to thank you, he or she didn’t ask you for your permission in the first place so what makes you think you can give it. Secondly, why say something like “It was nothing” when the person complimenting you clearly thinks that it was – again, insulting.

7. Don’t ever say “I told you so” – no matter how tempting it is, only arrogance can direct this statement. It is what you say when your paramount purpose is to prove you are right and rub the other person’s nose in it by proving he/she is wrong. This is far from humble – it’s abrasive – you’re definitely breaching Jerk City with this one.

Instead, take the high road as they say and try saying something like “Would you like to try my approach next time?” (Minus the sarcasm of course.J), or simply say nothing at all but be there to listen if you’re needed.

8. Admit your mistakes and learn from them – this is probably the pinnacle of humility and very hard for many people to do. Many people believe that admitting their mistake somehow diminishes them when the exact opposite is true. It actually builds you up – people hold you in higher regard for being accountable. When you admit your mistake, people know that they can count on you to be a stand up individual.

If you are reading this line right now and you’re still not open to the point of view in this article, you’d better settle in and read the 8 principles of humility again. J Better still, go back to the top and read my definition of humility because it’s going to take some of it for you to begin to open up to these insights.

 

The point is that I’ve been knocked off my high horse so many times; my but has permanent scars from those experiences by now. It wasn’t until I began to practice the 8 principles of humility that I experienced significant and profound positive changes in my personal growth. My butt for one is still thanking me and I humbly reply, “You’re welcome – it was my pleasure.”J

The Secret to Personal Change

I have consumed tons and tons of information on personal growth and development and I have shared with many people, the powerful lessons that I have learned. Still, personal change has not come easy and for many it is a repetitive cycle of empty promises to themselves and others. 

 

Although personal change is not always easy, I have found that it has always been worth it to strive to be a better me in every way I can. That being said, I have often found it frustrating when others seemingly refuse to change regardless of the proven results or mounds of evidence indicating that the change will make them a better, wiser and more loving human being. I am not talking about evil people, I am talking about people who are blessed enough to see the light but still turn their back on it and go the other way… I am talking about me.

 

I hope that doesn’t surprise you to see me include myself in this bunch; someone who is supposed to be sharing his experience and teaching you about personal growth and development. How could this be?

 

The fact is that personal change requires consistent work on you to stay on track. It’s not so much that the steps are hard; it’s more so that recognizing your shortcomings and then admitting them can sometimes take a while. The light is not always turning in the lighthouse and when that happens, your ship can get wrecked.

 

The good news is that you can always mend the ship, repair the sails and get right back on your journey; it just requires a little courage and willingness to act.

 

Ponder if you will a moment…

 

Do you accept things in your life that you know are not good for you? Have you made choices in your life that are out of line with your core values?

I think that most, if not all, of us would answer yes to these two questions if we were honest with ourselves. I know I’d have to say yes without a doubt. The more important question is what have you done about it?

 

Personal Change Defined

First and foremost let me define what I mean by personal change.

 

Personal Change involves making conscious choices to think, feel and act differently than you have in the past. You can choose to make changes in every part or some parts of your life or simply change one thing. The reason it’s personal is because you are changing you and not anyone or anything else.

 

Although changes can be positive or negative, this article covers personal change from the standpoint of making positive changes.

 

Why Change in the First Place?

If you don’t change, you don’t grow. I’d say that the moment you decide to make a positive personal change in your life, you have a desire to grow beyond your current level. This means that the change would help you increase your understanding, develop your maturity and give you greater scope in the area in which you desire to make the change.

 

If you think about it, the only reason to make a personal change is the desire to grow. Whether you gain insight, a new perspective, a new connection or you increase your financial wealth, the point is that you would have grown because of the change you decided to make.

 

What’s the Secret?

I’ve pondered this a long time trying to wrap my mind around it. Even in the face of my own personal changes that I’ve made over the years, I have experienced that not all of them were so easy. Sometimes it took a lot of trial and error and many failures before I embodied a change and it became a habit.

 

Through it all though, there were certain common underlying elements in the process to make every change and I believe this is where the secret lies. The difficulty of course is mastering these elements and assimilating them into your character. Personal Change is hard because the required elements are not commonly exercised.

 

The secret of personal change lies in its compass. The wrong compass will undoubtedly lead you in the wrong direction. This is the part about personal change that is often misunderstood and therefore often leads to frustration and repetitive negative cycles.

 

The 6 elements below will help you understand and navigate the difficulties of personal change so that you can consistently achieve the results you desire.

 

Decisiveness

If you can’t even decide that you need to make a change, how will you begin to do it? The GI-Joe team use to say “knowing is half the battle.” Now why do you suppose they said that?

 

It is because no matter how much you know, it becomes meaningless without a release or an outlet. Basically, whether you know information that needs to be shared or you know of a change that you need to make, you have to put the wheels in motion in order to reach the full potential of the knowledge. This means that you have to make a conscious decision… you have to decide to move or nothing will happen.

 

Believe it or not, this is one of the hardest things for many people to do. It can be a real struggle especially if the change is significant. The more significant the change, the more it will interrupt your life and affect your current situation. This is what makes the decision process so arduous for many. Causing upheaval in your life is probably not something you’d like to do on a regular basis which in many cases is the very thing that cripples your actions. Sometimes you might even make the decision to move forward only to find out later that it was only a fleeting thought since you’ve done absolutely nothing different to make the change you sought. 

 

Decisiveness then does not only include the knowledge but also the will to act on it. Only then can YOU begin to realize the personal change.

 

Value

What is the value of the personal change you want to make? What does it mean to you? Making a personal change is more than just words or fad… it requires high value in order to achieve success. You have to know inside that the change is worth whatever sacrifices you need to make to reach your goal.

 

If your decision to make a personal change is based on others’ opinions, the latest trend or some external circumstance, you’ve already failed at making a deep or long-lasting impact. Personal Change requires that you believe in the reason for the change. It must be of high value to YOU; it must be in line with your core principles. If it is not, when the opinions sour, the trends fade and the circumstance succumbs, so will the personal change you’ve made, if you’ve even made it at all.

 

Deep inside, you must have a very valuable “WHY” for the change you seek to make. The value you place on it is the only one that counts in order for you to achieve the results you desire.

 

No value = No change.

 

Blueprint

This will come up over and over again on this website… rarely do things get done successfully without a blueprint. In order to get where you’re going, you need a clear and accurate roadmap.

 

This is why, before you begin your journey of personal growth and development, you should draw a blueprint of how you plan to get there. The blueprint should be clearly outlined with each of your steps and a deadline for achieving your goal. Some of the questions you should answer are:

 

1. What are the changes I want to make?

2. Why do I want to make this change?

3. What are the steps I need to take to achieve my goal?

4. Who are the people to whom I need to speak in order to achieve my goal?

5. Do I need any tools… what are they?

6. When will I begin my journey?

7. How long will it take?

 

These are very crucial questions that require clear and decisive answers before you proceed. You can break these questions down even further if you wish… just break it down far enough so that it makes sense to you. The point is that, you need to have a clear picture of where you’re going before you begin your journey. See the end first and then through your actions execute to make it happen.

 

Without your blueprint, you will easily become confused or overwhelmed. In many cases people forget why they’re even doing what they’re doing. This is where many people get lost and go off-track in their quest. Your blueprint helps you stay on course; you should consult it as often as you wish. It’s your blueprint so you are free to modify it mid-stride if necessary to achieve your ultimate goal.

 

Commit

If you don’t commit, you might as well quit! Without commitment you won’t get very far… your trip will end before it begins. Committing is very hard for many people to grasp and for some a very scary ordeal.

 

Let’s get one thing straight right now – commit is a verb not a noun. Commitment is the noun that requires the action to commit. In other words, you have to act in accordance with the commitment you made in order to achieve the results you desire. Lip service won’t amount to more than a hill of Jack’s magic beans and thinking about it without following through with action will result only in self delusion.

  

Let me give you an example of what I mean.

 

I have a friend who’s been a chronic smoker for years and he has tried to quit many times. Each time he’s tried to quit he’s said that he’s committed to doing it. He’s tried the patch, the lozenge, the pill and all sorts of glorified quick fixes and still he has been unsuccessful. He blames his failure on stress, pressure and a host of other life challenges all the while claiming that he’s committed.

 

He’s even gone as far as going outside for a smoke and then chewing mint gum in an effort to disguise the scent from him and others. He is deluded and in that delusion, he still continues to claim to be committed.

 

After 9 years of failed attempts to quit, I asked my friend, “Why don’t you just go cold turkey and quit?” His reply was that he needs something to help him quit. I replied, “Yes I know, you need commitment and the will to follow through on it.” He still insisted that he needed something else external to himself in order to achieve his goal. Needless to say, my friend is still a chronic smoker and I still challenge him to simply commit and go cold turkey.

 

The moral of the story is very simple. No matter how much help you have and no matter how great your resources, it means “diddly squat – zippo – nada” if you are not committed to the cause.

 

Practice

Have you ever heard the term, “practice makes perfect?” If so and you’ve tried it, then you also know that it is true… well except for the perfect part. In my own words, I’d say that it is absolutely true that practice makes excellence.

 

If you are committed to making a personal change, you have to put it into practice for it to become a habit. Once you develop your change into a habit, it becomes rooted in your character and personality – you would have achieved your goal.

 

Again, heed the caveat, like commit, practice is a verb not a noun. If you don’t do the things that you need to do to bring your personal change into fruition, it simply won’t happen. This means that especially at the times when you don’t feel like practicing are when you should make the extra effort to do it. It means living the change day in and day out until it becomes a habit.

 

This should be easy though, like taking candy from a baby because you’re committed… right? J

 

Consistency

Without the sixth element, all the other five are standing on shaky ground. Personal Change requires diligent and steady work in all these areas in order to achieve the results you desire. No amount of knowledge or experience can ever replace consistent effort. This is the coal in your train engine, the fire in your belly. If you are not willing to consistently excel at these 6 elements, personal change will continue to elude you.

 

Now What?

I’m not saying it will always be easy… in fact in my experience, personal change has always been challenging and in many cases quite difficult. That being said, there aren’t many things in life worth having or doing that comes easily, otherwise, they would have little value. Like I said before though, it’s always worth the effort when you experience the positive results.

 

The more important question is if you’ve reached this point in my article, what are you going to do about your personal change? Is there anything about YOU that you’ve always wanted to change but struggled with?

 

At least now you have no more lame excuses as to why you can’t do it or why it’s so hard. I just gave you more than a head start… the blueprint if you will. No one can give you the rest because the rest is literally up to you. You have the information – what you choose to do with it is your responsibility.

 

Leader or sheep… you decide. J

 

 

 

 

Killer Series: 7 Steps to Building a Killer Team

Have you ever watched a high-performing team in action? Better yet, have you ever been a part of a high-performing team?

I don’t how many of you watched the show that the Chinese put together for the 2008 Summer Olympic Games but I can tell you it was truly a spectacular sight and accomplishment. This was the pinnacle of a high-performing team in action – what I like to call a Killer Team. The pure energy and masterful synchronicity was absolutely impeccable. They were fluid and flawless during every show and absolutely electrifying with every move. It was definitely a sight to behold and if you didn’t have the opportunity to see it, I can say without a doubt that you missed something very special.

I don’t know what they will do when the games hit London in 2012 but I do know they’ve got their work cut out for them. I have had the opportunity to experience the difference between a Killer Team and a team that gets killed. It is always a much happier, more productive, more efficient and more creative scene when you are on a Killer Team – as if that’s not obvious. It is so much more powerful that my ultimate goal when working with a team is to be a part of and cultivate a Killer Team. This is of the utmost importance the moment you begin to work in multiples.

 

Whether you are leading or are a part of a team, this should be your ultimate goal. Everything else that the team accomplishes rests with the way they are able to work together. It will be next to impossible to achieve any result of great value if your team is not working together. If some of you are pushing while others are pulling, it will create negative energy and in some cases wreak havoc on the whole team. Contrary to the popular belief – opposites do not attract, especially when it comes to teams.

 

Like-mindedness is essential for team success; the goal of the team must be the focus of every team member in order to achieve the best results. That being said, following are my best ideas on what it takes to build a Killer Team. I’ve broken it down into 7 steps that you can begin to apply immediately and achieve immediate and positive results.

 

 

1. Embody the mission

This is something that will come up over and over again on this website in some context or another. So many people embark on new journeys, start new projects or new relationships without ever creating a mission for what they want to achieve. It is actually ludicrous when you think about it; see yourself in your mind’s eye getting ready to do something or go somewhere without knowing exactly what it is you are trying to accomplish.

Does that make sense? Of course it doesn’t. That would only make sense to a moron and I know that’s not you.

 

So then, the first step in building a Killer Team is to embody the mission. Embodying the mission though means several things. In order to be one with your team mission, every member must be willing to commit to it without wavering; you must all see it through together.

Several things occur when a mission has been embodied successfully.

 

Creating and living the mission – when the whole team is involved in creating the mission, it makes them feel like they are a part of something greater than themselves. Their values become a part of the whole which makes it personal and therefore automatically commands more commitment. It is a lot easier to live a mission that you created than it is to live someone else’s; in fact I’d say it’s damn near impossible to live a mission you didn’t have a hand in creating. This is absolutely essential if you want your team to fully embrace the mission – be one with it. You must all be involved in the creation of it and then you must all live it every single day for maximum impact.

 

Clarity in purpose – nothing beats the knowledge of destiny. When you know exactly what you want to achieve and precisely where you’re going, it’s pretty difficult to miss the mark. At that point you only have to choose the right vehicles to get you to your destination – to your goal. A purpose-driven goal is one destined for success. Once every team member is clear on what the purpose is, expectations are aligned and focus is singular. This creates power beyond your imagination and productivity skyrockets under these conditions.

 

Roles & responsibilities defined – this cannot be stressed enough. I’ve seen so many teams implode because the members have no clue what each is supposed to be doing. This is what creates chaos on a team and breeds frustration that lead to conflicts that lead to undesired or disastrous results. It is absolutely imperative that roles and responsibilities are clear and that each team member knows not only what he or she is supposed to be doing but also exactly what each of the other team members are supposed to be doing. This is important in order to achieve maximum efficiency and efficacy. It allows your team to execute at a high level with the least effort. No double work!

 

The tie that binds – this is what embodiment of a mission does; it creates a deep bond among those who’ve created and are indeed living it. This is a very important element as you will see in the next step, Cultivate Synergy. If you create a mission together, live it daily together and commit together to see it through, this creates a powerful and almost unbreakable bond. It creates unshakable focus and through your commitment, it crystallizes your purpose – the team’s purpose.

 

2. Cultivate Synergy

Synergy is supremely important for any team to function at its peak. This is the pinnacle of togetherness in a common cause. When a team is synergized, each move they make is like flowing water; they move in fluidity and synchronized harmony. It’s really a beautiful thing to experience and if you have, you know exactly what I am talking about.

 

Cultivating synergy requires transparency and openness among all the team members. It requires the desire to listen with the intent to first understand each other and also the courage to state your point of view. It requires that, when trying to resolve issues or come up with solutions where you do not all agree, that you always seek

The Third Alternative

which is a solution derived from all the desires combined to create a better solution than any of the individual ideas – it promotes and demands win/win.

 

Furthermore, cultivating synergy also requires that you cherish teamwork in all facets and eliminate competition – at least against each other. Competition among the team can easily, and often does, lead to “I first and team second” and selfishness. This creates the “what’s in it for me” mentality which throws the whole idea of the team purpose right out the window.

 

Rather than promote competition, Killer Teams promote collaboration; they promote cooperation and fellowship. Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the table, members of a Killer Team sit on the same side. Side by side is better than opposing sides – both from a physical and psychological stand point.

 

When a team is synergized, trust is at its pinnacle – each teammate trusts the other to do exactly what he is supposed to do. Each member covers the other and is confident that his/her backside is covered at all times. If you are unable to trust your teammates, you will be unable to achieve success as a team.

 

Synergy is what made the L.A. Lakers of the 80’s and Chicago Bulls of the 90’s so great. The players trusted each other – they knew when to give the ball up to the next man. They seemed to always know where each other was on the court and every man seemed to know where he needed to be in order to receive the ball and sink a basket. It was like watching beautiful choreography when these teams played. 

 

3. Level the playing field

For the most part, every team has a leader as well it should. There should be someone in the director position – the person responsible for making sure the blueprint is followed and the goals are met. That being said, one of the most important elements of a Killer Team is a level playing field.

 

This means that no one and I mean no one is above the law so to speak. As a matter of fact, the first person upholding the laws of the team should always be the leader. His/her example should be like a shining beacon to all other team members.

 

Leveling the playing field is simple – it requires that every member of the team is accountable for his/her actions. Each person from the top down is held to the same standard and has equal opportunity to voice opinions, ideas and grievances without fear of negative recourse. Each team member must treat every other team member as an equal and with love and respect.

 

Leveling the playing field in this manner can often create powerful and unbreakable bonds – it fosters loyalty. When every team member knows that his part is just as important and is given equal standing to the next person’s, it becomes easy to commit. The purpose of the team comes alive and thrives in the harmony of collaboration – in synergy.

 

4. Foster heretics

Killer Teams are notorious for going against the grain – they often observe the masses and do the opposite. As such, even though a team usually has a leader, Killer Teams expect leadership to come from any rank, any position, anywhere. This is why they foster heretics.

 

Killer Teams are always looking for leaders – not just one. Heretics are leaders because they don’t wait for others to make change, they start it and others follow. Heretics abhor the status quos – they are not interested in the discovery from last week, they want to go forth into new frontiers and make the next discovery.

 

The best Killer Teams are usually made up entirely of heretics – leaders. Mindless sheep get left in the pasture while the heretics steal the dawn of the day. While you whine about breakfast, heretics are busy eating your lunch and stealing your supper. Killer Teams are known for beating others to the punch and the reason is that they only recruit innovative and forward-thinking individuals; those that would sooner crush the status quos than live a day by it. Killer Team members only like the status quos because it gives them a new challenge – it gives them a change to champion.

 

Killer Teams are at their best when they are fueled by heretics because there are leaders in every hall making changes and breaking new ground. When you are part of a team that operates this way, you are constantly in a state of inspiration because you see the world anew each and every day.

 

5. Discourage conformists

As Killer Teams foster heretics, something else happens automatically, they discourage conformists. Conformists are those who uphold the status quos – they fight for the status quos. Conformists hate change, they consider most change a threat and that’s why they live in fear.

 

Killer Teams have no use for these types of individuals because they know they won’t bring any creativity or innovation to the table. They will simply do what others are doing without ever giving a thought to change; even in the face of a broken system, conformists will still fight for the status quos.

 

A team of conformists create nothing, build nothing and change nothing. They simply do what they are told or what they are expected to do. There is a place for these people… in an ant hill. Ants are like programmed soldiers – they each have a job that they were born to do and they do it until they die. It’s great for an ant, probably get a medal or a crumb, but very sad for a human being.

 

As one comedian said of our 43rd president and I’ll paraphrase, “conformists do the same thing on Wednesday that they did on Monday, no matter what happened on Tuesday.”

 

Teams that consist of conformists are the teams that are getting killed by Killer Teams. Conformists are managers, not leaders; they manage the assembly line and do exactly as they’re told. Heretics are leaders; they chase all that is considered taboo in the hopes of positive change. Killer Team members are heretics because they thrive on change and crushing the status quos.

 

6. Be A Square

If you want to build a Killer Team or lead one, you must understand and master how to be a square. Ever wonder why it almost always never works when a third party tries to solve problems in a relationship, especially when no request was made for help? These people are usually told to butt out!

 

On a team, one of the worst things you can do is create triangulation in a problem. Triangulating a problem means taking a problem that occurred between and affected two individuals or two groups and inserting a third party to fix the problem. What usually happens is, the conflicting parties end up confessing each other's sins and then the mediator is left in the difficult position of deciding who’s right and who’s erred.  This almost always never ends well – at least one person usually comes out of this situation unhappy.

 

Individuals who build and lead Killer Teams never create triangulation in a problem. Instead, they promote one-on-one Third Alternative resolution. This approach basically says that if you have a conflict with another teammate, you agree to work through the issue together until you reach a resolution that you are both happy with. If a third party is ever inserted into the equation, it would only be because the conflicting parties both agreed that it was best in the course of resolving their issue.

 

When you build and lead a Killer Team, you must commit to being a square with every team member, no triangulation ever unless explicitly requested by both conflicting parties. Be a square and you will always be fair.

 

7. Get out of the way

Many teams have been thrown completely off track when this element gets muddled. It is possible to build and lead a Killer Team only to find that you’ve limited its potential by constantly getting in the way. Part of the reason for adhering to the 6 steps above is so that it makes it very easy for you to follow the 7th.

 

Once your Killer Team is in place and every team member knows what to do, as a leader your job is to now get out of the way. When you remove yourself from every nook and cranny, remarkable things begin to happen. Team members work together, creativity is high and results are astounding. I’ve seen so many talented leaders fail at getting out of the way so badly that the team failed and the mission never got off the ground.

 

I remember once when I was charged to lead a group of about 90 individuals at a company symposium. My task was to lead the team of individuals who were monitoring classrooms and catering to the customers. This by far was one of the most important leadership roles at the symposium. On the morning of the pep rally just before the event got underway, I was scheduled to give my team a pep talk – prepare us for what was ahead.

 

I said many things that morning but one of the most important things I did was recognize the incredible talent that was on my team, plant the seeds of the mission and then stepped aside and watched a well-oiled machine run. The results were, as you can imagine, astounding. I was confident in the tenacity of my team, I knew that it was packed with heretics and experience so I simply shared the mission, gained unanimous consensus with it and then provided a platform for them to execute – I got out of the way.

 

This is often very hard for leaders to do – instead, they try to control every outcome and every process. For the most part though, all they end up doing is managing instead of leading which defeats the entire purpose of building a Killer Team.

 

What kind of team are you on?

So, are you on a team? Where do you think your team falls, Killer or Getting Killed?

 

If you want to build teams that accomplish great things, you must be willing to commit to the 7 steps above. I realize that it may seem like you don’t have much of a choice when it comes to who is on your team, especially if you have a job; however, you can still be a heretic, a leader.

 

You can start your own Killer Team within a team. Perhaps you want to start a Killer Team at work whose sole purpose is to create positive changes in the workplace and stamp out the status quos. Just remember, the top doesn’t always mean the CEO, the top can start with you.