Powerful Principles of Personal Growth

Understanding Perception and How It Impacts Our Behavior

Recently, I had a heated debate with a colleague about the use of the word perception, especially when used in the wrong context. We were discussing a rather sensitive and important issue surrounding personal pain and we differed in our view of how people view pain.

 

In a nutshell, my colleague took the position that pain is pain and that when people have similar painful experiences, there is no difference in the level of pain they feel but that the difference comes in how each individual handles that pain. Furthermore my colleague suggested that perception of pain has nothing to do with the real pain that people feel because it skews the reality of the depth of the pain.

 

While I understand, at least I believe I truly do, where my colleague is coming from, I do not agree with her analogy. As I thought about it further, I realized that she may just not have understood my position – maybe – could be wishful thinking on my part. J

 

I am no Mr. Know-it-all and I don’t want to be; this is why I wanted to air this – to get other perspectives on the subject as I clock in with my 2 cents on the subject right now. Please feel free to leave a comment if you want to weigh in – you have a 10-day window on this one. (Usually 5 days)

 

What is perception?

First of all, let’s define Perception.

 

Perception is the way one views the world at large, his circumstances, position, role, others and any given situation he/she is aware of. By the dictionary, it says the following:

 

1. The act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding
2. Immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, as of moral, psychological, or aesthetic qualities; insight; intuition; discernment
3. The result or product of perceiving, as distinguished from the act of perceiving; percept
4. Psychology. a single unified awareness derived from sensory processes while a stimulus is present

These 4 definitions basically touch on the areas of context in which the word perception might apply – I agree.

 

Keeping this definition in mind, and whether you agree with it or not, let’s open the airwaves from this point of view. Before I get into the specific subject (not subject matter) that my colleague and I discussed surrounding perception, I would like to explore the relationship between reality and perception.

 

Have you ever heard the saying “perception is reality”? What do you think about that assessment? Do you think it’s true?

 

In my view, it would depend entirely on how you interpret the statement – your perception. When I hear and/or see that statement, it just reiterates what I already believe is true. This is because I firmly believe that your reality is determined by your perception of who, what and where you are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have often times heard individuals say “I see the world the way it is” and I wonder, “whose world are they talking about?”; certainly not mine or yours.

 

If you think about it, how can anyone see the world the way it is without understanding the world and everything in it completely? For this statement to be true you would have to know what makes everything on the planet tick; or at least what makes everything around you tick. Without that knowledge, one can never really see the world the way it is; therefore this is not reality.

 

Reality is derived from experience – individual experience. This means that everyone is living in his own reality. You can only expand the way you see things by truly connecting with others and learning more about the way others see the world, otherwise, you are doomed to the reality that exists within you – your perception.

 

This is the very reason why it is said that perception is reality. This statement is pointing to the individual – the way a person views his world and everything in it – your interpretation based on your experiences and influences. This is your perception and for all intended purposes, this is your reality which is very real and important to you. Reality then is based on the individual and not the whole – the individual through his perception creates his own reality. In doing so, it determines how he/she behaves, acts and interacts with others.

 

Is this a subjective view?

Perhaps; however, I don’t believe so – I think it is a matter of fact. Based on the universal law of cause and effect, perception is the driver of behavior and action. The law of cause and effect says:

 

“A cause is something that makes something else happen and an effect is what happens as a result of the cause.”

 

This being the case, whatever stimuli touches our mind, heart, body or spirit is interpreted a certain way and then acted upon based on that interpretation. Since the law of cause and effect is always at work, it stands to reason to believe that even the way we see things is caused by some other stimuli; perhaps past experiences or how we were raised and conditioned or the books we have read or the places we have lived.

 

Either way – the point is that how we view things – our perception – will always drive our actions; how we behave. This is clearly a part of the universal law of cause and effect in action.

 

Can Perceptions change?

Absolutely! This is how we learn and grow. We only evolve based on our new experiences which serve to either make us more convicted in our beliefs or give us new insights that inspire change. Either way, the more we learn and grow, the more our perception – the way we view our world will change. This is inevitable because one cannot change while existing in the same circumstance and mindset before the change came about. In other words, in order to make changes, you must be in a different mindset than you were before otherwise you cannot put a value on the change and therefore would not make it.

 

Let me give you a simple example.

 

I was born in the Jamaica W.I. and before I came to live in the United States, I was only allowed to listen to wholesome reggae music and the likes of Michael Jackson. This was my training and my conditioning that caused me to view (perceive) any other types of music as wrong – not for me. Upon my arrival in the U.S., I began to hear a different type of music – hip hop – nothing like what I listened to in Jamaica. At first, I thought, this is not what I am used to – it is the wrong type of music to be listening to and so I shut it out based on what my previous experiences had been.

 

About 1 year later, I became friends with the person that would ultimately become my best friend and still is for the past 22 years; he is the one that taught me about the origins of this new music – hip hop music. After he schooled me, I was hooked!

 

This would not have happened had I not come to the U.S. and had I not met my best friend. The point is that my perception (view) of hip hop music was forever changed and I have loved that genre ever since. I had grown – I had evolved and now my behavior towards this music would be different, Instead of avoiding it I would be running to it.

 

The point is that you can only act to your level of understanding and knowledge. What you can understand you can act on; what you don’t understand acts on you.

 

Let me say that again… what you can understand you can act on; what you can’t understand acts on you.

 

Is perception truly reality?

The answer is most definitely true. I mean – how could it not be?

 

If something is real to someone and they experience all the stimuli of that reality – guess what? That is reality – for him/her. You may see things differently; however, it doesn’t matter to this other person because they have a different set of circumstances.

 

Look at it this way…

 

Two men have the same job, a wife and two children plus a mortgage and other household bills. Do you think that each of these men can live in different realities?

 

Of course they can!

 

Man #1: Perhaps he sees (perceives) his situation as hopeless because he struggles month to month to make ends meet and he always has too much month left at the end of his paycheck. He feels dejected, lost and hopeless because he perceives his job as a dead end and thankless one.

 

Man #2: Perhaps he sees (perceives) things differently; he may be thinking that once he gets off work he can work on starting his own business; perhaps he can use his year end bonus to invest in his venture and he is looking forward to making his business a success so he can alleviate his family’s financial burdens and improve there quality of life.

 

Now let me ask you – are these two men living in the same reality? Certainly, they have the same type of job, earn the same wages and have similar family structure. The major difference is their outlook though; the way they perceive (view) their situations. One has given up hope while the other is full of optimism.

 

Do you think that the way these individuals view their world will have an impact on how they behave and what they do? Will their perceptions have an impact on where they end up? You’d better believe it!

 

How we behave, the actions we take and the choices we make are tied to how we see (perceive) the world – our world. We do not see the world the way it is but instead see the world the way we are.

 

This is not to say that you cannot empathize with another individual or truly and deeply feel what another individual is going through. The fact of the matter is that when you are able to empathize with others and feel their pain, your perception will automatically change. It is irrefutable. Your perception about any given situation cannot remain the same once you acquire new insights to which you can relate or in what you can believe.

 

Once you gain new knowledge and are exposed to new insights, you see the world (or that situation) differently; this will create a different perception.

 

Let me put it this way…

 

A woman screams thief… thief – in the middle of the street after just being mugged; you arrive on the scene just in time to see a young lady running away as the woman who has been mugged screams “she took my purse – she took my purse.” Your perception (view) of this situation might be that the young lady you saw running away is in fact the mugger.

 

So tell me, what would happen if you later discovered that the young lady you happen to see seemingly fleeing from the scene was actually chasing the teenage girl who had in fact been the real mugger? Would that change your perception?

 

Of course it would! You have new information; new insight that you believe to be true so your reality as it pertains to this situation will automatically shift; your perception will be different and your behavior and/or actions will reflect what you believe – what you perceive.

 

Perhaps I have left the point of this article way behind; however; I would like to come full circle with the thought.

 

My colleague and I were discussing pain and the reality of it. Her stance on the matter is noted at the beginning of this article and so here is mine as we hit the home stretch.

 

Pain, like any other feeling and/or situation in your life, is still controlled by perception. In other words, how you perceive your level of pain will determine how you deal with that pain; what actions you will take and so forth.

 

Certainly, there are stark similarities and identical stages individuals go through when they experience the same type of trauma; however, based on background, experiences, influences and level knowledge and understanding, the trauma may be perceived differently by each individual and therefore their actions in dealing with the situation will be different.

 

Let me say it this way…

 

If two women are raped by the same individual in much the same manner, it stands to reason that they quite likely might experience the trauma in the same manner… right?

 

Let us assume that all the circumstances surrounding the rape are basically the same and that the only differences lie with the individuals who were raped. For instance, let’s say that of the two women raped, one is a freshman just starting college who has never been away from home before, grew up in a strict religious family and has never been exposed to this type of trauma before and the other is a psychologist who treats other female rape victims for a living.

 

Knowing this, do you think that their perception (view) of the trauma might be different? And if so, do you think they would each handle it differently?

 

Of course they would. This is of course a vacuumed scenario because it takes no other factors into consideration; however, I think it makes the point. There is a reason some rape victims commit suicide and others report it; they perceive the rape differently. If they both viewed the incident in the same way, the resulting action would also be the same… cause and effect.

 

Yes, it is sort of a blanket statement without any anomalies BUT you get the point I’m making.

 

Putting perception in context

Perception is the way one views the world; it is the lens through which we see the world around us. It is a personal thing; although influenced and shaped by many factors – it is ultimately personal.

 

As my colleague and I discussed perception surrounding personal pain, it became clear to me that she believed that using the word perception or even implying it was to see things at the surface level. It seemed to me that she was thinking of the word perception in the wrong context – as if it were a physical position rather than a way of seeing.

 

The way we see things is all about interpretation; it has nothing to do with the depth of things per say but more to do with how we view situations which then translates to what depth we feel things.

 

It stands to reason then that whether you are in physical, mental, emotional or spiritual pain, your experiences and influences will determine how you interpret that pain which will in turn determine to what depth/level you feel the pain.

 

A trained navy seal will interpret a gun shot would to the arm a lot differently than the average civilian. This is because he is trained and conditioned to endure much more physical pain; a navy seal’s threshold for physical pain will be higher than that of the average civilian.

 

Let me try this another way…

 

A stimulus is a fact – it is what it is; how we interpret that stimulus will determine our response which is a choice. Our perception of the stimulus (the cause) will determine our response (the effect)… CAUSE & EFFECT!

 

Perception is neither a judgment nor an opinion; it is neither fact nor fiction – it is a point of view. It is neither depth nor breadth; it is neither rhyme nor reason – it is the way we see the world around us.

 

If you have any thoughts on this, please leave a comment. I would love to hear from you. You can also send me an e-mail by visiting my contact page.

 

Thank you.

Killer Series: 7 Steps to Creating the Killer Proposal

A few months ago, I posted from the Killer Series, the article 7 Steps to the Killer Negotiation and it caused quite a stir. Some folks thought I was way too optimistic while others found great value in my approach to negotiation. It really drove home the point of the efficacy of seeking and committing to win/win solutions and going for the third alternative in every situation.

 

With the high level of interest generated by the negotiation article, I felt like I could build on this further by writing the 7 Steps to Creating the Killer Proposal. Proposals usually precede negotiations and when done effectively can actually quell the need for any negotiations at all or at the very least make them run even smoother.

 

A killer proposal will not only set you apart from the rest of the pack but also create an atmosphere that fosters win/win. It lays out the correct roadmap to get everyone involved to where they want to go. Killer Proposals are designed to eliminate guess work and fluff; there sole intent is to clearly and succinctly define the desired objective and then in the same fashion, flesh out the strategies and tactics that will be employed to achieve the desired results.

 

Following are my best ideas on how to create a killer proposal. There are 7 steps all together and when used in combination can catapult your ideas to heights you did not think possible or even imagine. With practice, I guarantee you will generate profound and positive results from your proposals.

 

1. Know the target audience

A proposal can be created for a myriad of different audiences so it is vital that you understand who will be reading or receiving your proposal before you create it. Knowing your target audience provides invaluable insight as well as leverage to sway things in your favor. The more you can learn about what makes your target audience tick, the more relevant and valuable information you can put into your killer proposal.

 

Additionally, when you know your target audience well and you have a clear understanding of what their needs are, you will be able to more effectively hold their interest. You will be able to easily eliminate fluff and irrelevant data from your proposal. There is nothing worse for an audience than to be subjected to a proposal that is riddled with information that does not matter to them. Can you say BORING?!

 

Prior to creating your proposal, make sure you do your research; learning as much as you can about your target audience warrants due diligence and your proposal will be ten fold better for your effort. Once you know your target audience and understand their needs, you won’t have to struggle with finding the right information to put into your killer proposal.

 

2. Develop a clear objective

Before you begin to create your proposal, it is imperative that you exactly what you intend to accomplish. Killer Proposals always have a clear and concise objective that spells our precisely why the proposal has been created and what the intended goals are.

 

The objective is very important because it sets the tone for the rest of the proposal; it defines the expectations and gains the buy-in from your audience. People tend to be more open when they know exactly what they are getting into and that’s the main goal of the objective.

 

An effective objective contains 3 elements:

 

• Introduction – a sentence or two that describes the overall purpose of the proposal

 

• A Common Goal – in another one to three sentences or bullets, you must clearly outline the common goal that binds you and your audience; your audience needs to know right away to you understand what it is they desire to achieve

 

• Expectations – close your objective with a clear statement as to what to expect as the proposal is read and/or presented; it is easier to concentrate on what is important when you know what to expect 

Now that the stage is set, you can begin delving into the meat and potatoes of your killer proposal.

 

3. Show them the pain

Now that the objective has been clearly defined and the expectations are understood, it’s the perfect time to make your audience squirm in their seats. It is time to push them out of their comfort zone.

 

I know – it doesn’t sound like a very smart thing to do but trust me; you want to make sure your audience is flailing before you cast them the life vest. J

 

You have to be willing to show your audience the pain of their situation. All killer proposals include a section on “pain.” This is the section where you expose your audience’s shortcoming; the issue they are trying to resolve. This is where you reveal to them that you know and understand how negatively the situation is impacting them. It doesn’t matter if they are simply seeking to improve an existing system; the goal of the pain section is to show them why the improvement is necessary and vital to their mission.

 

This will accomplish a couple of things for you.

 

Firstly, it will put your audience on the bubble; in the hot seat and they will only be too happy to move on to something less uncomfortable – the next portion of your proposal maybe? This is not a place they will want to linger and moreover, they won’t want to revisit any time soon so fixing it now becomes a priority.

 

Secondly, your audience will recognize that you’ve truly got a handle on what their needs are; you understand them and now they can’t wait to hear how you are going to help them. It is universal law that once people believe that you understand their plight; that you can empathize with their situation; the level of trust goes up significantly – even if it’s confined to just that situation.

 

Now that your audience is flailing, it’s time to throw them the life vest. J

  

4. Show them the relief

Just like all killer proposals include a “pain” section, they all include a “relief” section. This is where you pop the bubble and cool down the hot seats by showing your audience exactly how you plan to address their pain. This is where you lay out your vision of how you intend to help them achieve their goals.

 

In this section of your proposal, the goal is to restate each point of the pain and address each one individually with a solution. Any solution you suggest must be long term; no quick fixes and/or band-aids. Killer Proposals are meant to show how you can eliminate problems permanently or improve existing systems to be more productive, efficient and less expensive to manage.

 

When you show your audience the relief, it should create a sense of urgency. They need to feel as if they would be missing the boat unless they implement what you’ve proposed immediately. They also need to feel secure that they won’t have to go through this exercise again anytime soon; this is why your proposed solutions must have long term effect.

 

5. Anticipate and overcome objections

Surely not everyone will see the genius in your solutions right away; you may still have to do some convincing before you get complete buy-in. Rather than tackle this situation at the appointed time, Killer Proposals address the FAQ before they come up.

 

What that means is that your proposal will include a section on the most obvious, popular and/or certain objections that may arise and the rebuttal to them. If you want to create a killer proposal, you must anticipate and overcome objections. This is a crucial element because it allows you to dispel any reservations that might still exist after you’ve proposed your solutions.

 

Additionally, when you are able to anticipate your audience’s objections and also provide an irrefutable rebuttal, the level of trust and confidence in you and your killer proposal will instantly skyrocket. Your goal here is not just to penetrate the walls but break them down completely; destroy them so that you can truly see each other.

 

The visual follows a simple line – first they were flailing then you threw them a life vest. They still weren’t convinced that they could swim so you built them a boat. The formula is: Pain à Relief à Overcoming Objections. That’s a killer proposal.

 

6. Crystallize your commitments

Now that you’ve got your audience eating out of the palm of your hand, it’s time to seal the deal. Make sure that they understand exactly what you’re going to do on this project, what they can expect from you and exactly how you intend to communicate with them throughout the process. Take absolutely nothing for granted and make certain that you do exactly what you say you will.

 

The key in Crystallizing commitments is to under-promise and then over-deliver. As a caveat – this does not mean that you offer light promises just so that you can blow them out of the water. Make sure that what you promise will get the job done exactly as you’ve outlined it in your proposal. Take no shortcuts when you crystallize your commitments. Your goal beyond this is to find a way or a number of ways in which you can go above and beyond the call of duty.

 

I don’t think I need to elaborate much on what happens when you give someone much more than they thought they were going to get. Let’s put it this way – the next time there is a project on the table, you won’t need a proposal – your word alone will do. J

 

7. Deliver a call-to-action

This is the part where many proposals fall short and even after a lot of effort and time – some just get left right on the table. That’s because they fail to include the final section that all killer proposals include – a call-to-action.

Once your audience has seen and heard all that you have to say, it is your responsibility to tell them what you want them to do next. The next steps might seem elementary, even obvious to you; however, do not assume the same message is channeling in the room. Tell your audience exactly what needs to happen following the presentation of your proposal.

 

Do you want their feedback? Do you need to pre-book a follow up meeting to discuss revisions and make changes? Does there need to be a vote? Are you seeking consensus now or later?

 

Whatever it is you need them to do next – clearly state it. Don’t be shy; just say it as simply as possible. Trust me; they will love you for it. There is nothing like receiving great information only to leave the room not knowing what to do with it. Make sure you deliver a call-to-action.

 

Just to be thorough…

I’ve just given you the 7 steps to creating a killer proposal but I didn’t want to leave out an important element that seems obvious only to me that it should be included.

 

Background and Bio

Every proposal you create should include a section on the background of you and your company and the bios of all the people who will be involved in the project. The reason I didn’t include this as a step is because this section can vary quite a bit depending on the situation. If the proposal is internal to your firm, there is no need for a bio because they already know who you are.

 

Also, depending on which school of thought you choose to follow, this section may come first or last. In my opinion, this section should go in the appendix section for reading at the readers’ leisure. This is because; I don’t think the background and bio play as much of a significant role in the presentation process as it does in the decision process. Addressing your audience’s needs in my view comes first. When it’s decision time, the background and bios usually help your audience to make up their minds.

 

Whether you put it first or last, just make sure that your killer proposal includes a background and bio section that makes you look good. J

How to Become a Highly Effective Problem Solver

Ever notice how some people almost always come up with great solutions over and over again – even in situations where there seemed to be no successful avenue? Ever wonder how it is that these people pull this off so consistently while simultaneously making it look easy?

These types of people are highly effective problem solvers; they know how to read a situation, discern what the real issue is and then provide creative solutions that lead to win/win outcomes. Individuals like this understand all too well the importance of addressing a problem at the root cause rather than supplying band-aids to cuts and bruises or prescribing medicine that address the symptoms only.

 

If becoming a highly effective problem solver sounds like a tall order to you – let me assure you that this is a skill you can learn as long as you’re open. Whether you think you are or not or you are simply seeking to improve on this area in your personal growth, the goal of this article is to arm you with the information you need to achieve the results you desire.

 

You will be able to not only come up with creative solutions to problems and/or issues but also reach people on a much deeper level than you have been able to in the past. There is no connection greater than the ones achieved when you reach another human being on the level that is most real to him or her. It opens up unlimited new avenues of possibilities in relationships and in life.

 

OK… so you might be thinking that I’m way too optimistic about the possible results you can achieve by becoming a highly effective problem solver… BUT… think about it for a moment.

 

Have you ever witnessed the transformation in people when you or someone else helps them solve a problem – especially one that has been a thorn for a while? They are immediately elated and simultaneously, their level of gratitude increases. In many cases, people feel the need to either repay you or pay it forward. It is inevitable that whenever you remove blockage in someone’s life, that person instantly becomes more open to possibilities that they could not see let alone believe while the blockage existed.

 

Highly Effective Problem Solvers are the types of people others are drawn to without even knowing or understanding why. It is the energy they emit that makes them magnetic and their circle of influence grows with each problem they help someone to solve. Highly Effective Problem Solvers understand that problems are not resolved by treating symptoms, you must focus on addressing the root cause. This is the only way to create solutions with long-lasting and positive impact.

 

If you truly desire to help others solve problems in their lives – stick around. I think you will find this article both enjoyable and informative. You will be able to apply the principles you read immediately and with practice, you will greatly improve your problem solving skills and begin to see profound, impactful and positive results in the lives of the people you help.

 

To become a highly effective problem solver, there are 3 elements of focus that when honed and sharpened will, in almost all cases, help you achieve profound, impactful and positive results. These 3 elements, all of Greek origin, are Ethos, Pathos and Logos.

 

First, let’s understand Ethos and how it applies.

 

Ethos encompasses your ethics and your reputation; the way you do things and how you’re viewed by others through your actions. Are you a person who truly desires to help others or are you just doing this for the glory?

 

Before a person can be truly open to listening to you and taking direction from you, he or she must first believe that your motives are genuine otherwise your words will fall on deaf ears. Highly Effective Problem Solvers are individuals who truly desire to help others improve their lives by helping them solve the issues that plague them. Even if helping others solve problems in their lives is not your sole purpose in life, once you’re in this mode, there is no doubt as to what is driving your actions.

 

Ethos demands that you earn the right to do what you do; that you be worthy of your audience’s respect. In some cases, your reputation will have preceded you and your authority will have been established by your title, accolades or some advanced promotion or introduction. Nevertheless, it is always important to provide a little detail as to why you are doing this; something that either establishes or solidifies your integrity.

 

This seemingly small thing will not only provide your audience a clear picture as to why they want to listen to you, it also penetrates the defensive walls people surround themselves with when they are feeling insecure. Furthermore, once the walls go down, people instantly become more open to receive the value that you bring to the table.

 

Now, let’s look at Pathos.

 

Pathos speaks to your capacity to empathize with others; feel their pain and truly understand their plight. In the role of helping others solve their problem, it is important that they believe first that you truly understand what they are going through. It’s simple really; if you don’t or can’t understand what your audience is going through, how can you possibly help them find the right solution? I’ve seen and heard so many people spew out high level advice with low level understanding.

 

To strengthen your Pathos, there are 3 basic listening principles you need to practice.

 

Firstly, remove all your pre-conceived notions or judgments about the situation. You must go in as a blank slate; a new canvas ready for a new drawing. This will increase your capacity to listen not only to what is being said but also to what is not which often times is more important. If you have no pre-judgments, you can truly act in the best interest of the individual you aim to help.

 

Secondly, you must endeavor to understand the plight of the person you are trying to help. Before you formulate any opinions, replies or advice, you must first seek to truly comprehend and appreciate the person’s situation. Once again, this only increases the value of what you will offer because when you truly understand the problem a person is facing, it gives rise to your creative self in providing the right solution.

 

Thirdly, clarify and restate what you’ve heard and understood; be sure to ask if your assessment is on point. This provides the person with room to either clarify further if you’ve missed the mark or simply smile in relief as he or she agrees that you have in fact hit the mark. More often than not, if you truly desire to help and you are truly listening with the intent to understand, you will hit the mark dead on.

 

Practicing these 3 listening principles will undoubtedly improve and strengthen your capacity for Pathos. It will show your audience that you are truly listening with the intent to understand as opposed to with the intent to reply. So many people miss what you are saying completely because they are too busy thinking of what they are going to say next.

 

When you strengthen your capacity for Pathos, your empathy will shine through and the person you are trying to help will recognize that you are actually in it with them; they will feel understood thereby making them open for your advice, direction and coaching.

 

Highly effective problem solvers are exceptional listeners; they understand that the reason they have two ears and only one mouth is so they can listen twice as much as they talk. In order to achieve your goals as a highly effective problem solver, you must aim to become an astute listener. Your goal is to hear as clearly in chaos as you do in silence.

 

Logos is automatically strengthened by improving Ethos and Pathos.

 

Logos speaks to your capacity for logic and reasoning. Your audience needs to feel sure that your advice is sound and your direction is focused. Highly effective problem solvers recognize that in order to truly help someone solve a problem, you must be able to marry the emotion with reasoning.

 

When you are exercising Pathos, you are validating the person’s feelings about their situation; you are showing that you feel his or her frustration. When it’s time to provide a solution, the solution must make sense; it has to be based on facts, statistics and/or experience. Whatever conclusion you draw, you must be able to show a clear line to that conclusion. Your logic must be based on correct principles rather than emotion. Essentially, your audience has to feel sure that you know what you are talking about.

 

This is where you must put your ego aside. Even if after listening and understanding the situation, you feel you are not the best person to help, logos demands that you direct the person to the best source that can help. Check your ego… check your ego… check your ego!

 

You don’t have to be a know-it-all to be a highly effective problem solver. Some of the most effective problem solvers are those that always know the right people and places to go to for help. Many highly effective problem solvers are just exceptional resource banks that you can draw on to find the answers you seek.

 

So remember, Ethos, Pathos and Logos – the great philosopher Aristotle thought of these 3 elements as integral to making a sound argument. As it turns out, they are equally effective in the art of solving problems.

The Top 5 Mistakes People Make When Their Actions Are Motivated by Money

Maybe this article is more projection than anything else… maybe none of you reading this have ever made the mistakes I have in the hot pursuit of the almighty dollar. Whether you think you’ve been a sucker before or not, this is still an important article for you to read because you may be on the verge of becoming a sucker.

Some lessons are learned the hard way and others, the excruciating way. This, for me, has been a lesson of extreme excruciation that I would not wish on my worst enemy… I don’t think. J

 

Nothing good, impactful, beneficial, innovative, long-lasting and priceless can be created when your motivation is fueled by the desire to make more money. Usually, someone wins and others lose or the scheme immediately crumbles. Either way, it is a failure of enormous proportions when money is the compass that guides your thoughts and actions.

 

Don’t get me wrong, money is good for all the wonderful things it can do for you. It pays the bills, pays for your vacations, pays for your house and your car but still, money is just a byproduct of providing value. Money is a tangible reward but it is of far lesser value than intrinsic rewards.

 

The problem is that when money motivates your actions, you are basically doomed to eventually fail. No matter what you might think, if you do anything simply in the name of making more money, I guarantee you that you will FAIL. There is simply no question about it. Following is a list of the top 5 mistakes people make when their actions are motivated by money.

 

Mistake #1: Lose Focus

One of the first things that happen to you when money motivates your actions is that you lose your focus. Regardless of what you had in mind, it will go right out the window if more money leads someplace else. Since money is the main factor, you will begin to compromise your initial mission and change your direction in the pursuit of money.

 

It doesn’t matter where it leads as long as you believe more money will come at the end. Getting lost won’t be too hard when money is leading because it has no eyes nor value but what you give it.

 

For instance, let’s say that you are passionate about creating and selling original designs of organic cotton t-shirts and you endeavor to start a small business doing just that. In the process of setting up shop, you discover that it’s cheaper to buy your shirts in Cambodia but the trade off is that you won’t be able to guarantee that the cotton is organic or that the workers are treated fairly.

 

If your mission is based on your core principles and intrinsic values, this quandary is an easy one… you decide to buy your shirts elsewhere. If on the other hand money is the main driver, you might easily decide to still buy your shirts in Cambodia and simply hope that the cotton is organic and that the workers are treated fairly. You’re not in Cambodia so no one can blame you when it goes awry… right? WRONGO!

 

The fact is that your customers are likely not from Cambodia either and if they have to hold someone responsible for this deception, it will be your head on the chopping block… I guarantee it.

 

Mistake #2: Make Assumptions

This happens when you have little or no interest in what you’re doing except to make money. If you have no passion for your market, you tend to make a lot of assumptions about how they behave. This is a paramount mistake and the quickest way to lose your core customers.

 

If you don’t understand your customers, how can you serve them? Soon enough, they will tire of your wares and seek out your competition.

 

In order to generate success in any market, you have to know your customers; you have to know what they need and how they like it delivered. This requires in depth research which requires time which you won’t care to commit because it has nothing to do with money.

 

Assumptions are said to be “the mother of all you know what ups” and it’s easy to see why.  When you constantly assume, you leave some important things to chance.  The most important thing left to chance is whether or not your customers will be interested in what you are selling. In most cases, they won’t be because your focus is on making money which means you’ll sell anything if you think you’ll make money.

 

If you assume your customers’ behavior and what they like, they will assume that you don’t care about them. The few that may have some interest in your wares won’t be nearly enough to sustain your business and you will soon suffer a well-deserved demise.

 

Mistake #3: Provide Little Value and Expect Big Returns

This is why the money motivator is a scheme. When you are motivated by making money, you focus less on providing value and more on making money. Your actions eventually become deceptive because you lie to your customers about the value you offer knowing that your product or service will not live up to your claims.

 

You do expect them to buy and keep on buying but you continue to provide less and less value. In an effort to make money, you’ll rush to create something in the short-term just so you can sell now without any regard for future ramifications.

 

In most cases, it will be very difficult to provide any real value to your customers if you are not even interested in your market. You are only there to make money NOT to provide value. You will begin to believe that your main goal is simply to make the sale and that what happens after is not your responsibility. As long as people buy and you make money, you’ve succeeded.

 

Nothing could be further from the truth because sooner or later your customers will see that you are not providing value and they will not only refuse to patronize your business but will tell as many others as they can to boycott you as well. Your reputation will suffer severely and you will be hard-pressed to rebuild it in that market. You will eventually be seen as nothing more than another two-bit hustler.

 

Mistake #4: Fall for Quick Fixes

I don’t know how many times I’ve done this but I do know that it has been more times that I want to remember. This is what happens when you have no focus, you make assumptions and provide little value – you fall for the quick fix of the day.

 

If you don’t know what you stand for you will fall for almost anything. Quick fixes are just that – quick! They are short-lived band aids that we go around applying when we chase money. Quick fixes are the quintessential pitfalls of money chasing schemes where only the “Quick Fixer” makes out.

 

The Quick Fixer knows that when a person motivated by money sees his product, he’ll jump at it. The quick fix is loaded with lofty promises of riches and overnight millionaire dreams but they NEVER deliver. How could they, they provide no value to anyone? They are just empty promises that pray on the desperation of people. In your feverish desire to simply make money, quick fixes might look like a great way to go but it doesn’t take long for you to realize that you’ve just been duped.

 

The worst part of all is that not only do you get taken for a ride but quick fixes are inherently rigged to take everyone you tell about it for a ride. So while you thought it was a great idea and shared it with the world, others followed suit and now they become trapped in the web of false promises and deceit which you perpetuated. A very tangled web – is it not?

 

Mistake #5: Failure to Put Money in its Place

When money motivates your actions, it means you have not put money in its proper place. Instead of you controlling money, it controls you. This is definitely no way to live because when money is in control, you lose control of your most important asset – YOU.

 

As I said before, money has its uses and when money is used appropriately, it’s great to have it in abundance. The problem is that if you don’t put money in its proper place, you won’t be able to control it. You have to understand the purpose of money.

 

I can guarantee you that while it will be very hard for you to succeed at anything when money motivates your actions, you will undoubtedly have much greater chances at succeeding when your motivation comes from within. If you do what fulfills you; what drives you internally, success will come as long as you are truly committed to your mission.

 

When money is in its place you understand that it is by no means ever a deciding factor your choices and actions. Money falls outside the circle of decision and only comes in as a result of your actions. It is neither the mission nor the end that you should pursue because it will always lead you a stray. When money is in its place you enjoy it for all its great uses like paying your mortgage, providing for your family and taking vacations without financial worry BUT it is not what fulfills you; it is not the reason you get up in the morning. You get up for a higher purpose; one that matters most to you; one that adds value to other people’s lives.

 

You may drive money (into your account), but money must never drive you. J

 

And the Moral of the Story Is…

I like money – I like having it to provide for my family and do the things that I’ve always wanted to do. It pays the bills and keeps a roof over our heads but at the end of the day, it’s just not that important to me. It used to be but not anymore.

 

I’ve failed at every endeavor where money was the driving force. Conversely, I’ve succeeded more often than not when money was not a part of the decision equation.

 

I can say unequivocally that I no longer do anything that is motivated by making money. My mission in life is not to make money – it is to help others achieve their dreams and goals by creating and delivering value in any way I can. Yes, I expect to be paid for my services because I have to eat and my family has to eat but no decision includes money as a factor – EVER.

 

Take this article for instance…

…I don’t know how many people will even bother to read it let alone care about the content. The truth is I don’t really care about that. What I do care about is that the article has valuable information and if it helps just one person overcome the “money weakness” I am happy with that. It means I did what I set out to do. I don’t know if this article in and of itself will ever generate much income for me if any, but in the grand universe, it doesn’t much matter.

 

For me the equation is simple: CREATE VALUE + DELIVER VALUE = SUCCESS.

 

The real secret to making money is that when you focus on creating and delivering value, money always comes to you. That’s right – it just shows up without you ever having to think much about it.

 

Once you create value and deliver it to a group of interested parties, you don’t have to worry about money – it always comes.

 

The greatest disservice you can do to you is to rob yourself of your true destiny. Find your dream, your purpose and follow it all the way. It will always yield abundance beyond your imagination in more ways that you had thought or imagined.

 

By the gold standard…

…I can tell you that I am not rich… YET; however, by the standard of universal law, I can confidently say that I believe I live in abundance because I believe in what I am doing and it fulfills me 100% to know that what I create adds value to the lives of others. I work on living my mission statement everyday and that’s all I need to know – the rest will fall right into place and soon enough, money will be chasing me.