Ever
wonder why some people almost always seem to make good decisions in their
lives? Have you ever wondered why the same has not been true for you? If you’re
a decisive person, that’s awesome; what’s more is if you’ve been able to live
happily with your decisions, even better.
The
fact is though that many of us don’t often make good decisions in our lives;
largely because they aren’t based on the correct principles or roadmaps. More
often than not, decisions are made on impulse or because of external stimuli
and not because it jives with our core values. This is a lesson I’ve learned
much the hard way; however, once I learned it, understood it and began applying
what I call the “Inner Compass”, I
experienced a tremendous shift in power and freedom.
The
inner compass is the director of your decisions; it lives on the backbone of
your core values and is grounded in universal, timeless and unchanging
principles. The reason this methodology is so powerful is because any action
that is aligned with universal laws will always be sound; they are essentially
irrefutable and absolute.
This
does not mean that you cannot change your mind at any given moment; it simply
means that no matter what decisions you make or when you make them, that they
will align with universal, timeless and unchanging principles while also
reflective of your core values and beliefs.
Making
good decisions in our lives is obviously important because we are essentially
the sum of the decisions (choices) we’ve made. Regardless of circumstances,
conditions, other people and other external stimuli, we are where we are and
have what we have because of the choices we’ve made in our lives. You are who
you are because you chose it; whether consciously or unconsciously, the choice
is still yours.
That
being said then, let’s look at what it truly takes to make good decisions.
There
are 5 key elements that you must put into practice so that they become habits
in order to consistently make good decisions. Those who consistently make good
decisions undoubtedly practice all of these regularly because without them,
your decisions will almost always not achieve the results you truly desire.
1.
Begin with the end you seek
Firstly,
it is absolutely imperative that you know exactly what you are trying to
accomplish. It may seem like stating the obvious but so often I have seen many
people who make decisions, many of them important ones, without clearly
defining what results they desire.
Beginning
with the end you seek will allow you to clearly visualize the end you want to
achieve. The importance of this is very significant because it fuels the “why”
of your decision. If you don’t know the why, what will motivate you to fulfill
your intent? In fact, without the “why”, will you even know what you intend?
If
you begin with the end you seek, it will most certainly help you to map out
your course correctly. It will help you easily figure out what tools you need,
the people you need to contact, where you need to go and so forth. Only with
the end in mind will you be able to effectively decipher how you will get
there. The end you seek is your DESIRE; if you know not what you desire, how
can you ever decide to fulfill it?
2.
Know what you intend
Intention
follows knowing the end you seek because one begets the other. When you know
the end you seek, your intensions also become clearer; they are crystallized by
the results you desire.
Additionally,
knowing what you intend gives rise to the purpose of your intensions. When your
intensions are grounded in right purpose and are in harmony with universal,
timeless and unchanging principles, fulfilling them becomes a less circuitous
road. If your intensions are not of pure heart, you must remember that you will
reap what you sow; nothing more and nothing less.
Knowing
your intensions also brings into scope the effects of your decisions. Will your
intensions bring harm to others? Will they cause others distress… are they
self-serving? Again, I know this doesn’t apply to you; however, even the
seemingly purest of heart may at times succumb to certain circumstances. It is
important to see your intent all the way through in your mind before you make a
move.
The
reason why “the road to hell is paved with good intensions” is because people
often get caught up in what they meant to do as opposed to what they are
actually doing. Simply put, intending something in your mind and your heart is
utterly meaningless if your actions do not follow suit.
Knowing
what you intend then, comes with the responsibility of the effects of your
intensions and the will to follow through.
3.
Walk the path completely
As
one of my favorite artists sang in the 80’s “Ain’t no half steppin’.” There are
simply no shortcuts in making good decisions; you must walk the path
completely. Once you’ve made a decision and you know your desire and intent,
you must now follow through with the actions to make it happen. So often,
decisions are made but no action taken to bring them to fruition. This of
course is pointless.
Again,
this is not to say that you cannot change your mind once you’ve made a
decision; it is simply to say that once you’ve made the decision, you must
follow through in your actions or it won’t happen. The end you seek will
continue to elude you and your intensions will consistently go unfulfilled.
No
amount of positive thinking and attitude can replace action; without action,
nothing will happen. That’s stating the obvious but again, it’s so often
overlooked.
Walking
the path completely means not caving in at the first sign of ridicule or
rejection; it means not turning back just because others are not in favor of
it; it means relying on your core values and beliefs, your inner compass, to
guide you as opposed to external stimuli.
Even
though we are all influenced by many people and many circumstances in our
lives, a decision is never truly yours unless the desire to make it comes from
within, not without.
4.
Stick to what’s true for you
Although
this element comes in at number four on my list, it is probably the most
crucial element in your decision-making process. Doing otherwise always results
in frustration, failure, resentment, dejection and the like. Sticking to what’s
true for you, allows you to always be at peace with your spirit.
Have
you ever made a decision because of someone else’s opinion or because of a
circumstance only to find you don’t feel good about it – that you’re losing
sleep over it? I’ve been there and done that and I don’t know about you but I
hated it! These days, I appreciate the lesson it taught me. Do what’s true for
you and learn to live with it.
When
you stick to what’s true for you, you do not have to second guess yourself; you
can face yourself in the mirror with your head up. Also, you can look others in
the eye when you speak of it. This is what is meant by “the truth will set you
free.” If you make decisions based on what is true for you, the freedom you
feel is unmatched; you are completely without fear because you know in your heart
that this is the best decision you can make.
Sticking
to what’s true for you is what helps you consistently achieve the results you
desire. It is because it’s true for you that your intent will be clear and
righteous; you will walk the path in clarity and all your actions will be
profoundly powerful because you are free of fear and doubt.
5.
Accept the consequences
Stick
to what’s true for you and learn to live with the consequences. All decisions,
all actions carry with them, consequences. One of my favorite authors, Stephen
Covey, puts it this way, “when you pick up one end of the stick, you also pick
up the other.” There is no getting around it, when you make decisions followed
by actions, natural consequences will occur whether you want them to or not.
This
is the reason that it is so important to know your intent and to make sure your
decisions affect you and others positively. Self-serving decisions will only
lead to negative consequences; it always does. On the other hand, when you make
decisions that are reflective of your core values and beliefs and that are
grounded in universal, timeless and unchanging principles, you will reap
positive consequences. You always reap what you sow; nothing more and nothing
less.
A
Final Caveat
One
of the most common mistakes many people make when making decisions is to make
self-sacrificing decisions. The problem is that when you sacrifice yourself,
you automatically rob yourself and others of your true self and your full
potential. If you are unable to follow through on your decision
whole-heartedly, you will not achieve the results you truly desire.
Part
of the problem is the misconception of what is truly self-sacrificing. Simply
putting others’ needs before yours is not self-sacrificing, it’s human. The
fact is we are all here to serve each other; therefore, putting others’ needs
before our own is the ultimate gift which comes first in the hierarchy of human
interaction. In this instance, the gift must be given whole-heartedly and
without resentment or reticence; gifts are just that – gifts and not “quid pro quo.” A sure path to your
success is helping others achieve theirs.
In
my view, a self-sacrificing decision is more like a secret service agent
jumping in front of a bullet to save the president’s life; that’s sacrificing
you to save another. This is a Secret Service Agent’s job – to sacrifice his
own life to save the president’s. When
you make decisions that serve your fellow man, that’s the ultimate humanity;
that’s why we are here.
All of this is to say, consider yourself carefully when you make decisions; be certain that you can live with the choices you make otherwise the results of good decisions will continue to elude you.
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