Powerful Principles of Personal Growth

How to Overcome Procrastination

This debilitating disease has plagued us all at one point or another in our lives. For some of us, it is a constant and infectious virus running amuck in our world. My experience is that procrastination is a dream killer – it can really take you out of the game of life. If you are unaware of the dangers, it can take you out for good. 

The bottom line is that a procrastinator is a self-assassinator. 

For those brave enough to accept the challenge of curing this awful disease, the results are staggeringly positive when you succeed. The sad truth is that the challengers are few and far between. 

I have met and counseled so many individuals who set goal after goal but never get around to taking one step towards them. And by the way, I’m not talking about dodo heads and morons – I’m talking about people with at least half a brain which is more than enough to get most things done. 

  

Why people procrastinate

Fear is the number one reason why people procrastinate. It’s either fear of failure or even success. It’s the fear of looking stupid to the world if it doesn’t work. It is a mark of the cynicism and negativity that has taken root in our psyche over time. Unless you can weed this out, procrastination is sure to be the victor.

 

Think about it for a moment… 

What are you waiting for to go after your dreams? The truth is that the tides will never be just right; the moon and the stars will not align perfectly to give you a sign. This is a fool’s folly – your destiny is not out there – it rests with you. No matter what excuses you make and no matter how many justifications you give, your future is still in your hands. The moon and stars align only when you are ready to act – it may seem like a miracle but it won’t happen unless you make it happen.

 

Here’s what usually happens though… 

First you tell yourself it’s not the right time and yet you make no plans or preparations for when the right time arrives. How can it ever be the right time if you are not prepared? 

Next you ask yourself “what if it doesn’t work?” This is only gives you a myriad of reasons why not. The one you should be asking, the one that truly makes a difference, is “what if it does work?” 

The list could go on and on here but I think you get the gist. People with an excuse mindset will come up with all sorts of rational lies (rationalize) why something cannot happen and won’t work.

 

The right mindset

In order to diminish procrastinating habits, it is important that you have the right mindset. If your first response is to make excuses and offer justifications when you are challenged, procrastination grows in your life. These are the elements that this debilitating disease feeds on; this is how it envelops your life. 

The more excuses you make, the more procrastination grows. Have you ever noticed that when you put off one thing just how easy it becomes to put off the next thing? It can become a vicious cycle before you realize what is really happening. By the time you wake up and smell the coffee, you’re in debt, you’ve been passed over for that promotion 3 times, you’re about to lose your house and your wife and kids don’t know you anymore. 

OK… a little dramatic – yes. I am sure you can appreciate the underlying message though; if you aren’t careful procrastination can cause major upheaval in your life. 

The mindset that works to eliminate procrastination is one of responsibility and accountability. You must endeavor to hold yourself accountable for your actions or in this case your inaction. You have to be the first person not to let you off the hook with feeble excuses and justifications. 

If you need to, devise a system of actions and consequences for yourself. For instance, every time you make excuses for your actions, you deprive yourself of something you really love – your favorite food, your favorite pastime, sex. 

It might sound silly; however, if you can muster the strength to practice this, your procrastinating ways will surface quickly and often. The goal of this exercise is to raise your awareness of how often you procrastinate – even about the simplest things. Often times, we don’t even realize this is happening until the disease has become a giant malignant tumor.

 

Reducing Procrastinating Behaviors

I am not going to write about eliminating procrastination completely because I don’t know if that is realistic. I mean, there are things that I still procrastinate on; they just aren’t the most important in my life. 

My experience is that reducing procrastination especially around the things that matter most, significantly improves your success rate at anything. So, even though I am sure that some of you don’t procrastinate at all about anything, I won’t take that route because I’d be a hypocrite. 

Following are 5 habits that help to reduce procrastination significantly.

1. Create a personal mission statement – this will help you center and focus your energies. A personal mission statement outlines what you are about, where you are going and how you plan to get there. You see, often times we procrastinate because we don’t have a clear picture in our minds who we are or where we are going; this creates “scatter brain” syndrome.

2. Write down and date your goals – this is so important; it’s a lesson I had to learn the hard way over and over before it clicked in my brain. This is probably one of the most powerful habits that I have ever developed. When you write down and date your goals, they instantly become real. Now it’s in ink and you can look at it. You have something to refer back to; you don’t need to remember what you’re supposed to be doing. When you write down and date your goals, you can track them; you can track yourself against them to see how you are doing. Many times we don’t even know how badly we suck because we have no barometer – no checks and balances. When your goals are written down and dated, it is harder to hide from them. 

3. Make “to do” lists – whether you do this daily or weekly, it is important to make “to do” lists. This is another powerful tool because each time you check something off, you get more excited. When you don’t have a list, you don’t even know what you’ve done and worse, days may go by and you haven’t done one thing that you really wanted to do. Your to do list is a guide – it is your tactic sheet that is helping you execute the strategy you’ve put together to achieve your goals.

4. Celebrate all wins – it is important that you celebrate all your wins no matter how small. Each time you check something off your list, you should celebrate it because you’ve accomplished something. When you do this, it will fuel your passion and motivation to do even more and achieve at even greater heights. Celebrating a win can be as easy as pumping a fist in the air, pulling it in and saying “YES” emphatically. Blair Singer taught me that one and it really gets your juices going.

5. Debrief regularly – whether you succeed or not at something, it is extremely important that you debrief yourself. Do this alone or with someone else if you need to BUT do it. Procrastination is like a virus – it latches on to negativity quickly and just spreads like wildfire. Especially when things don’t go as planned, it is important that you get your head around it as quickly as possible by debriefing. Ask yourself what worked and what didn’t and then learn from the hiccups. Don’t internalize the failure and let that stop you from moving forward or trying again… failure is just an event not you. 

Practicing these 5 habits will undoubtedly improve your ability to focus and center your energies. You will be able to overcome procrastination more easily and quickly especially in the areas that matter most to you. 

Procrastination may be a debilitating and vigorous disease but the good news is that there is a cure. What are you waiting for… stop procrastinating and get off your ass.  

 

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The Natural Law of Awareness

What you are aware of you can act on; what you are unaware of acts on you. This is such a profound realization as taught to me by one of my mentors. The simple truth of it is refreshing once you grasp it and the light bulb goes on in your head. 

Awareness is a principle that exists and operates in our lives whether we are aware that it does or not. Understanding how it works is crucial to success in your personal growth and development. My experience is that the more keen your awareness in a situation or about a particular circumstance, the more effective your actions and the results you achieve. 

Let’s first define awareness… 

Awareness speaks to your level of consciousness; how awake you are in a particular situation. It speaks volumes about your knowledge, responsiveness and alertness. It is about your sensitivity to you, circumstances and those around you. It goes to your receptiveness of the outside world and how you manage it on the inside. 

To the degree that you are aware of the inner and outer world, the effectiveness of your choices, thoughts and actions will reflect the same. How you behave will largely depend on how aware you are. 

When you raise your level of awareness, you automatically raise your potential for success. This is how the principle – the natural law of awareness works. It exists and operates whether you know it or not or believe it or not. It simply is. 

In my experience, awareness comes in 4 forms. You may have seen them categorized differently; however, these are basically the 4 different forms of awareness.

 

1.    Unawareness

The fact that you have no clue what is going on does not negate the fact that there is a level of awareness in play. In a state of ignorance, everything and everyone is acting on you without your knowledge. You may blame and complain about your circumstance and others at this level; however, the truth is that your unawareness is the real culprit in your frustration. 

When you lack knowledge of something; you also lack the ability to make other choices simply because you don’t even know they exist. In this case, ignorance is not necessarily bliss – in fact, it could be down right miserable. 

Here’s the lesson… 

Whether you have knowledge or not doesn’t mean that the knowledge doesn’t exist and that its existence isn’t operating in your life. It may be a little weird or hard to grasp at first BUT think about it – really think about it.

 

2.  Reactive Awareness

In this case you are always aware of and act on circumstances and people around you. The focus of your choices, thoughts and actions are largely based on how others view and treat you. 

Also, at this level, you do not accept total responsibility for your own choices, thoughts and actions. Since you are mostly reacting to circumstances and other people, you blame them for your choices, thoughts and actions. This is reactive behavior which causes a severe lack of self-leadership. 

Reactive awareness is not ideal simply because it leaves you out of the equation. When all your choices, thoughts and actions are based on circumstances and/or other people, you lack your own voice. You are not making decisions based on the things you value most but rather on the things you believe others value most.

No matter what you believe at this moment, it is certain that this way of thinking will lead to frustration and unhappiness. This is because, you cannot have good and firm grounding or a good sense of direction when you are simply blowing the way others and circumstances blow. If you change your stance with the direction of the wind, you will ultimately spiral into chaos, confusion and disarray. Your level of personal growth and success will undoubtedly be stunted.

 

3.  Proactive Awareness

Proactive awareness is complete awareness. In this mindset, although you are aware of others and circumstances, you are most aware of yourself. You are completely in tune with your choices, thoughts and actions and you understand that these are the things you truly control. 

You do not blame and complain about others and circumstances when things go wrong because you realize that your choices, thoughts and actions precipitated that outcome. Proactive awareness demands that you be responsible for you; the way you think and act in any given situation.

This means that you are aware of your strengths and your shortcomings; you are aware of others in the same manner; however, you do not base your choices on them. Your choices are based on your core values regardless of what others think. The person you show others is the person you want to be and not the person they want you to be. 

This is the practice of complete awareness – proactive awareness. You take a deliberate stance to be a person who evaluates his/her own choices, thoughts and actions so that you can learn to improve yourself.

 

4.  Instinctive Awareness

Frankly, this list could stop at 3; however, I have found it quite valuable to include this 4^th form of awareness. My experience is that when you practice something over and over again, you only become better and better at it. At some point, you no longer seem to have to put much effort into succeeding at it because it has become a habit – a part of your DNA. 

This form of awareness, I have dubbed instinctive awareness. At this level, you are so keenly aware that things seem to happen and function automatically. You make choices, think thoughts and act with your core values guiding you on auto-pilot. Certainly since you are always learning, there are things that will always be at the other 3 levels. Eventually though, if you are diligent in your practice and seek to improve your awareness at all times, you will end up here – at this level. 

For instance, reading, writing and attending seminars and workshops by incredible individuals from whom I can continue to learn is not something I really have to think about anymore. I just do it; it seems automatic. I instinctively spend time, money and resources improving my own personal power, growth and self-awareness. I love doing that and I realize of course that it helps me tremendously to help others even better. 

This is just me – what’s your vice? 

Here’s the caveat… 

As with all principles, your results are based on how well you operate in line with them. This means that especially at the level of instinctive awareness, if you are practicing negative behaviors, you will undoubtedly reap negative results. 

These are basically the 4 forms of awareness; as I said, you may categorize them differently; however, these are they. 

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The Natural Law of Choice & Result

It is an absolute that there are natural laws – universal principles that exist and act in our lives whether we believe it or not. These are no different than the law of gravity which basically says that what goes up must come down unless you remove gravity from the environment. 

As it pertains to our personal growth, it is imperative that we are aware of, understand and apply these principles in our lives. The pinnacle of success is achieved only when we adhere to natural laws. 

This article focuses on the natural law of Choice & Result. The absolute of this universal principle is that every choice has a specific end result. To the degree that you understand this natural law and how it applies to your personal growth, the results you achieve will reflect the same. 

The goal then is to help you properly define Choice and Result and then understand its most effective application in your life and for your personal growth.

 

The Meaning of Choice

While choice by definition means preferences, selection and options, I wanted to broaden its scope by delving even deeper. Choice at its very core; the spirit of it is truly about alternatives, abundance, possibilities and pro-activity. 

To take it a step further, choice is a responsibility; it centers on our ability to choose (select) our responses in any given situation. It is about being proactive in all that we do. This is why Choice is the Ultimate Power. 

The mere fact that we all have choices is indicative of the infinite possibilities that we can never exhaust. The examples of this principle are numerous. 

Who knew that the Internet would connect billions of people around the world in common bonds? What about Google? Who knew such a simple interface would have the power to help you find what you want when you wanted it – all in a virtual space? The list goes on and on and on… you can never exhaust it. 

This is the true meaning of choice.

 

The Meaning of Result

A result is the effect of a choice; it is the outcome caused by a decision that has been made. In the interest of broadening the scope of the word even further; a result is the consequence of a possibility. 

Yes, I am oversimplifying; however, I want you to get a simple point. The point is that results are not accidents; they are directly linked to choices. Even when we do not mean for something to happen and it happens any way, this result is due to a choice that was made. 

We may call it an accident and that’s fine for context; however, it is important to understand that a different choice would have produced a different result. In this vein, it is plain to see that we have the ultimate power to affect the results we achieve by making the right choices to do so. 

Simply put, there are no accidents. Every situation is precipitated by choices whether you believe it or not or whether you are aware of it or not. The fact that you are ignorant does not mean that the principle is not at play.

 

The Principle of Choice

I have written about choice extensively; still, I constantly get bombarded with comments and opposing arguments regarding my stance on choice as the ultimate power. The fact is that choice is a principle; it exists whether you believe it or not. It is always working whether you are aware of it or not. 

Choice precipitates thoughts and actions; it is where the party begins. 

OK… I’m going to attempt to anticipate all the questions, comments and resistance to this belief. Of course whether you believe me or not is absolutely irrelevant since principles merely exist and operate without bias and in a timeless vortex. 

There are 4 different mindsets to making choices; this is where I believe most of the confusion lies. Most individuals don’t even know the difference.

 

1.      Unconscious Incompetence

These are the choices we make in total and complete ignorance. We have no clue that other possibilities even exist so we just take whatever options are handed to us. This is the state of mind when you don’t know what you don’t know; nonetheless, you are still making choices. A choice to be ignorant though foolish is still a choice.

 

2.      Conscious Incompetence

In this state of mind at least you do have an understanding that you don’t know everything and more importantly that there are other possibilities. You still aren’t in a frame of mind to make the best choices; however, this is a good place to make new discoveries. You have made the choice not to be an ignorant moron. 

 

3.      Conscious Competence

In this mindset, you have elevated your game to making proactive choices to learn and grow. You completely understand that there are other possibilities. Furthermore, you believe that your success comes from the choices that you make and so you begin to practice and develop good habits. You are now aware that you don’t know squat and more importantly you are completely open to learn and discover new ways of doing things. You now understand that practice makes perfect.

 

4.      Unconscious Competence

This is the pinnacle of the ultimate power of choice; in this mindset, proactivity is now a habit; you are this way even when you sleep. Your choices are grounded in correct principles and you have high self value. Of course you are still learning new things; however, the habits that you have mastered are now a part of your DNA. 

Your choices surrounding these values you hold dear are now on automatic pilot. This is where the strength of your character becomes predictable which provides you a solid reputation for saying what you mean and doing what you say. You now consistently achieve the results you desire. 

These are the 4 mindsets of making choices; whether you believe it or not, you are in one of these mindsets each time you make a choice. I know that I have been in all 4 of them; I also know that I am in mindset 3 and 4 more often than not these days. Can you say the same? 

I am not saying this to brag; I am saying it because I believe that it is important that you understand choice and how it applies to your life and your personal growth. We are always making choices so make sure you are in the right mindsets when you make yours.

 

The Principle of Result

Since choice is a principle, then it stands to reason that the effect of choices is also a principle – results. Achieving the results you desire depend almost entirely upon the choices you make. 

Stephen R. Covey puts it this way… 

We have no control over 10% of the things that happen to us because those result from the choices other people make. The other 90% of what happens to us is based on how we respond to the 10%. 

Simply put, while 10% of the things that happen to us are out of our control, the other 90% certainly is based on how we handle that 10%. This is known as the 90/10 principle. 

There are 3 different types of results we can achieve.

1.      Monotonous

Monotonous results are repetitious and same; they usually include making the same choices over and over again while expecting different results. This is of course the definition of insanity; still, many individuals fall into this trap constantly. These types of results are most likely the product of the level 1 mindset of choice – unconscious incompetence. It can also occur in the level 2 mindset if you have not yet reached the threshold of pain for your particular situation. 

The fact is that people don’t change until the need for change becomes self-evident so monotony is something you are likely to experience in your results until you choose to change.

 

2.      Unexpected

These are the “accidents” of the world; the results you do not plan for. Although unexpected, they are still precipitated by choice. While these results can occur at any mindset level, it is much easier to grasp and adapt when you completely understand choice. An unexpected result occurs when you make a choice in the hopes of achieving one thing and end up achieving something different.

The fact that you ended up with unwanted or unexpected results does not negate the fact that had you not made the choices you did, you would not have achieved the results you did. Unexpected results are not necessarily bad and are infinitely good if you can always find the lesson or wisdom within them.

 

3.      Expected

These are the results that you do plan for; your choices are deliberate in these instances. When you achieve the results you desire, it is due to a series of choices that you made purposely to do so. 

For the most part expected results happen when choices are made in the level 3 and 4 mindset. In these mindsets, you begin your journey at the finish line and then take the appropriate steps to achieve the vision and the mission. With a strong focus on the goal and diligence in execution, deriving expected results becomes – well – more expected. 

These are the 3 types of results that you can achieve. Whether you believe it or not, you achieve these results based on the choices that you make. Your mindset level when making the choices will greatly influence the type of results you achieve. 

The Natural Law of Choice & Result is constantly at work – nonstop – and unbiased. These are universal principles that do not break or change – they merely exist and operate whether we believe that they do or not. 

Take a hard look at your own life and situation; examine your own personal growth challenges and I am sure that if you are honest with yourself, you will realize the power in understanding the principles of choice and result.

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A Life without Enemies

At first glance, you might think the title of this article is over-reaching. You might even think it a bit naive. I admit I used to think the same. My experience though has taught me that living a life without enemies is actually the easy part; the hard part is grasping and accepting the thought process that governs it.

 

Do you have those in your life you consider enemies? Does anyone you know consider you to be an enemy? What would it mean to you if at the very least you knew of a way to minimize these instances in your life?

 

If you find that this would be valuable insight for you or someone you know, I invite you to settle in and read on.

 

Firstly, it is important to understand where our enemies come from. Get ready... it's kind of a whopper. Ready? Ok... 
  

We create our own enemies... yes that's right. There are no enemies that we have that we do not create. It is our perception of people and circumstances that create our greatest enemies. Once you can digest this simple truth, it will be easier for you to understand the attitude required to change it.

 

You can change your world whenever you wish by simply changing yourself. In fact, it is impossible for you to change your world or the world at large without first changing yourself.

 

To live an enemy-free life, there are 2 factors that must be addressed in sequence.

1.    The Enemy Within

We are our worst enemy; we do more damage to ourselves than any person or circumstance ever can. Since we have the power to control our thoughts, attitude and actions, we have the power to either inflict great harm or incredible good.

 

This being said, the first enemy we have to deal with on the road to a life without enemies is the enemy within. Improving upon the following 3 elements will have a profound and positive impact on your success in this area.

 

·         See the best in you

It is important that you do not allow your mind to work against you. Look for the best things in you at all times. Even when you fail to reach a goal, instead of focusing on the failure itself, focus on what you did well. After that, turn your attentions to the possible lessons you can learn. Never categorize a failure as you... it's just an event not you.

 

Instead, learn and grow from the things that did not work and realize that the fact that you tried your best is always enough. Also, the whole point of learning is to try again so that you can apply your new knowledge.

 

If you can practice to always see the best in yourself, it will clear your mind of unnecessary negative thoughts. Whenever your little voice starts getting down on you - just pause and tell it to STOP and then change your thoughts to be more positive. Learn to have positive conversations with yourself. Do it in your mind, in front of the mirror or out loud; whatever works best for you - just do it.

 

·         See the best in others

Just as you practice to see the best in you, do the same for others. When you consistently seek the best in others, you remain open to infinite possibilities. Never assume anything or allow your preconceptions to rule your choices. Take the proactive stance to purposely look for the best in others.

 

This does not mean that you are naive and that you turn a blind eye to people's shortcomings. It simply means that you spend most of your energy on the things that make them better people. Surely, you may know someone whom you think has no redeeming qualities; it is especially in these instances that this practice is important. In these cases you must look beyond a person's past, accept his/her present and project genuine hope for that person's future confident in the fact that this person still has the choice to change.

 

If you can truly think of it in this manner, you will always be able to see the best in others even when they do not see it in themselves.

 

Someone once asked Mother Teresa if she would attend an anti-war rally to which she humbly replied "No, but I would attend a peace rally." Now I am certainly no Mother Teresa; however, I am sure you can see the incredible power in changing your perception of a situation. It may be a mere play on words but how profound and impactful for your attitude.

 

·         Confess your own sins

Too often we spend way too much time confessing other people's sins and not our own. Other people's sins are none of your business; it is an area of concern that you cannot change. This is why it is vital that you focus on your sins so that you can change yourself. In fact, if you have any hope at all of influencing someone else to change, again, you have to first change yourself. Only through consistent work on yourself can you influence others to change.

 

The enemy within is at constant work telling you to blame the other guy when things go wrong. It will always lead you to believe it is someone else's fault causing you to expend your energy bashing others. Whenever you find this is happening, focus on what you might have done to create the situation and aim to do better next time.

 

Be accountable for your own sins – they are yours and unless you own them you will be unable to work on them. If you cannot work on your own sins, the enemy within will consistently get the best of you.

 

2.  The Enemy Without

The enemy without becomes much easier to manage once you are successfully managing the enemy within. You might consider someone an enemy if they've deliberately tried to hurt you or cause you ill will. You might also consider someone an enemy if they have expressed dislike for you or if you find yourself in a constant battle or tug of war with this person.

 

The first thing to accept in these instances is that these individuals will appear to you in the way you see them. Your perception governs your thoughts and actions towards this person. Even if it is true that this person wishes you harm, changing your perception of this person can remove the enemy mentality from the picture.

 

Again, it's not about naivety, it's about how you view the person. It is about what you choose to focus on about this individual whether they can see what you see or not. How you choose to view someone does not negate your choice of how you relate to them; it simply opens up more possibilities for positive exchanges.

 

Improving upon the following 5 elements will undoubtedly have a profound and positive impact on your success in managing the enemy without.

 

·         Make no assumptions

Although it easy to do, it is important that you make no assumptions about someone. Be proactive and assess a person for yourself. Whether from a distance or close up, it is important that you evaluate a person from your point of view. Even when you have credible sources of information, these should only serve as references to help improve upon your own observations. Often times you will find that what works or is true in one instance is completely different in another.

 

If you make assumptions, you automatically close yourself off to any other possibilities. Remember that the other person may also be making assumptions about you so be different. Go in with an open mind and a genuine intent to learn and you will find other people far more accommodating and cordial.

 

·         Seek Understanding

It is definitely true that we often fear what we don't understand. Instead of embracing our differences, we put them down. It is important that you seek first to understand others before asking the same in return.

 

If you genuinely want to understand someone else, he/she will recognize and hold you in high regard for that. Just think of what it feels like to you whenever you feel that you've been understood. Now seek to convey the same to others.

 

If you can practice this you will discover that people are much more receptive to your position.

 

·         Embrace differences

The very things that make us unique are the things that should bring us together and not drive us apart. We may all have different beliefs and ways of life; however, deep down we are all the same. We all seek acceptance, appreciation and approval. When you can truly embrace the differences between you and others, you will immediately open dialogue, exchange of ideas rather than conflict and rivalry.

 

Our differences are to be cherished not feared. We can learn a whole lot more from each other by simply opening our minds to our greatness. We all have within us a universe of greatness waiting to be unleashed. The more we encourage it, the more fruitful and positive our relationships.

 

If you can truly cherish the differences in others, your pool of enemies will quickly shrink while your pool of allies quickly grows.

 

·         No protraction

Any protracted negativity will only escalate animosity and corrosive behaviors. Do not prolong negative exchanges; instead try to put things in a positive frame. Even when the truth hurts, it goes over much better if you can frame it positively.

I am not saying you should sugar-coat or offer fluff - I am simply saying use sensitivity when delivering tough messages.

 

Do not engage in “tit for tat” shenanigans; these equate to taking a reactive stance. Instead, take a proactive stance and address the root problem. Look for win/win solutions; if for some reason you are unable to reach a consensus then your best move is to walk away. This way, although you won't be playing together in the same sandbox, you will still both be happy that you both have your own sandboxes without fear the other will drop a bomb on it. 
  

·         Offer Friendship

Sometimes the easiest way to lose an enemy is to gain a friend. There is no reason you can't turn an enemy into a friend by simply offering friendship.

 

It won't necessarily always work and not every situation would warrant such a move; however, in the event that it does - just offer friendship. A good friend is better than a bad enemy any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

 

It may be as simple as asking, "Can we be friends?" The answer may shock you.

 

Now, do not misconstrue this as a mere holier than thou attempt to rid the world of conflict and usher in world peace; although, it’s not a bad idea.

 

This is simply a guide to building more bridges than walls among each other. The undeniable truth is that it takes way more energy to keep enemies than friends. When you have more enemies, you have to expend more time, energy and resources watching your ass – I mean six.   

Conversely, when you have more friends, you have a willing army watching your rear already so you don’t even have to focus on it. With more friends, you expend way less energy, time and resources on negative crap and instead focus on things that create and distribute more value.

 

If you still believe that enemies are necessary, consider this…

 

No matter whom you are or your station in life, true success cannot be achieved alone. Without others, true success and maximum potential cannot be realized. If your world is full of enemies, whom will help you and how will you ever achieve success?

 

Ponder but a moment and realize the infinite possibilities of having friends.

 

See you in the winner’s circle. 
 

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How to Overcome Stagnation

Ever feel stuck – like you’re going nowhere in life? Ever felt like everyone and everything is just passing you by? Does it make you feel powerless? 

Many, if not all, of us have had this feeling at some point in our lives; this is often referred to as Stagnation. It is what happens when you reach a point in your life where you feel unsure of what you want to do and where you want to go. As a result, you don’t move at all – neither backwards nor forwards. Needless to say, this can be quite frustrating and dejecting. 

The BIG question is what you do about it when it happens. How do you overcome Stagnation? 

If you’ve ever felt stuck, this article will help to raise your awareness to the symptoms and provide some valuable insights of how you can beat this success-debilitating disease.

 

Symptoms of stagnation

• Lack of focus – this is one of the first conditions that strike when stagnation sets in; you lose your center and begin to feel scattered in your thoughts. You no longer have a grasp of what you are doing or where you are going; your goal seems far away and blurry. 

• Indecisiveness – with lack of focus there is always indecision and confusion; every choice seems way too risky or impossible. You are unable to make good decisions because you don’t even know what your target is.

• Doubt – this is a major roadblock in any success plan; when you lack belief, it’s very difficult to achieve the results you desire. If you do not possess the confidence to move forward, you will be unable to accomplish your goals. Doubt can easily paralyze you.

• Hopelessness – where there is doubt, soon follows the lack of hope for the future. Stagnation demands that you are devoid of all hope of success – no aspiration for something greater than yourself. 

• Cynicism – all these symptoms breed negativity in a BIG way. When you are stagnant, it is easy to start believing that good things only happen to certain people but not to you. It also makes you skeptical of everyone else’s success; it makes you feel like only the lucky ones get the prize but poor saps like you get royally screwed by everyone and everything.

• Depression – ultimately, once you’re experiencing all the above, you tend to be down way more often than you’re up. You lack the energy and the desire to do anything progressive. Depression makes you feel like you don’t even want to bother trying. This is the ultimate success killer and it can really take you down if you are unaware of its presence. It can happen in mini bouts; these are the ones you have to be very careful of. 

You may see these symptoms categorized differently but these are basically the 6 major ones to be aware of. Once you understand the symptoms of stagnation, it will be easier for you to recognize when it is happening to you. This way, you can put a stop to it sooner rather than later – or before it is too late. 

How about a cure for this terrible affliction? 

My experience is that there are basically 5 ways you can overcome stagnation. Any one or a combination of these valuable practices will help alleviate your stuck-ness.

 

1.    Re-evaluate your core values

When stagnation sets in, one of the first things you should do is make sure that your core values are in tact. This is a good time to review your principles – the way you live your life. Make sure that the values you live by are still the ones you want to continue living by. 

More importantly, make sure that you have been living a life that is in line with your core values. More often than not, your core values are in good shape; however, the way you have been living may have fallen out of line. 

Be honest with yourself; look hard at the choices that you’ve made. Remember that you have what you have and you are where you are because of the choices that you’ve made. The reason to study this is to pinpoint those choices that were made without consulting your blueprint – your core values. 

We’ve all made decisions like this one – I know I have. It is usually the emotional and impulsive decisions. The point of this exercise is to understand that you made these choices and that you can live with the consequences. Furthermore, you can learn from the outcome of those choices. That is why we make mistakes – so we can learn and grow from them. 

The fact is that if you make it a point to re-evaluate your core values from time to time; you can possibly ward off stagnation all together.

 

2.  Redefine your mission

Another step to overcoming stagnation is to redefine your mission. Often times we hit roadblocks because we lose sight of the goal. Somewhere along the way to the target, we fall off track. This is perfectly normal – you can’t predict every occurrence; however, you can be prepared for anything by being proactive. 

Review your mission to make sure that it is still what you want to achieve. Make sure that your intent is in line with that mission. Sometimes our intent changes on the journey; something else becomes more important than the mission you started out to accomplish. That is also ok – just make sure that your mission still lights a fire in your belly. 

Your mission defines the goal and drives the actions you must take to achieve it. If this is not crystal clear then your actions will be equally muddled. It will be difficult for you to achieve the results you desire if you are not absolutely certain about your intent.

 

3.  Change your mission

If you attempt to redefine your mission and find that it is no longer what you desire; perhaps it’s time to consider changing it. This is often difficult for people to do because they view it as starting over. 

The main thing to realize in this case is that changing your mission is moving forward and not backward. Whenever you move on to something new and especially if it’s better – this is making progress. Sometimes in order to achieve our goals, we have to completely change our mission. 

This goes back to the scenario of something else becoming more important than the mission you initially set out to accomplish. Remember that sometimes, it takes one road to lead you to the road of your true purpose. It’s ok for one mission to run its course in your life so that you can embark on a newer and greater challenge. 

There was a time in my life when all I wanted to be was a rapper/producer and I was heavily involved in the music industry. I truly loved what I was doing. After that I discovered my love for public speaking and ultimately creating this blog which led me to my true purpose in life. My mission has changed a few times; however, my ultimate goal has always been to help others grow; to find their voice. I have sought to do that in all my roles thus far and this is what I truly enjoy. 

I hope that made the point for you.

 

4.  Change your circle

Many times, the people we choose to hang out with is the reason we feel held back; causing stagnation in our lives. This is definitely a hard one; however, sometimes you just have to change your circle. 

In some cases it could simply mean that you change the way you interact with someone. In others, though it may seem harsh, it may be time to end the relationship all together. This is especially difficult when you truly like or love someone. My experience is that although this is hard, when the choice is made for the right reasons with the right intent, it has always been worth it. 

I have been here a couple of times so I appreciate the emotional difficulty of this situation – I truly empathize. 

The point is that there are times in our lives when our friends are not moving in the same direction we are and in order to achieve our goals, we simply have to go our own way. Stagnation often envelops the people you are most often with. If your choices are often tied to your circle, make sure your circle is aligned with your true desires otherwise you will have to move on at some point if you want to cure your stagnation.

 

5.  Take a different route

Detour ahead… sometimes it is as simple as taking that left turn at Albuquerque. (If you didn’t get that… go watch Bugs Bunny) 

Sometimes the cure for stagnation is simply to go in a different direction. Perhaps the way you’ve been going has too many roadblocks and you may just need to turn left instead of right. Many times, this opens up new avenues of pursuit that propel you to your goal. 

There is no rule that says you can’t change route mid-stride; it is your journey and you can get to your destination any way you choose. The path of least resistance is always best, just ask Deepak Chopra. 

The point is when life throws you a curve; you should take it because if you keep going straight you’ll probably crash into something solid like a brick wall. 

Seriously, don’t be afraid to change directions; another route may be the thing you need to get you out of the mud. 

Now that you know the cure… what are you going to do about it?

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How to Increase Your Personal Power

Personal Power; we all have it whether we realize it or not. Those who are keenly aware of it and understand its purpose utilize and grow it consistently. Highly effective individuals possess a zealous sense of their personal power. Those who are unaware of it and whom do not understand its purpose consistently give away or allow others to rob them of their personal power. 

My experience has been that the more in tuned you are with your Personal Power, the more pristine your clarity and the more effective and impactful the results you achieve. The goal of this article is to raise your awareness and increase your understanding of your own Personal Power and what it means to your success.

 

What is Personal Power?

First, let’s define what we are talking about.

Personal Power is the ability to master your fate by choosing to lead and direct your life from the inside-out. In this vein, your value system is your compass by which you move; while people and circumstances may influence you, only your choices based on the set of principles that you live by determine your actions.

 

Develop Keen Self-awareness

In order to fully exercise your personal power, you must first seek to increase your self-awareness. You must know thy self. If you do not know yourself – what makes you tick; it will be difficult for you to increase your power. Knowing who you are and what you stand for are crucial elements to succeeding in this area. 

Following is a mini-guide to help you better understand what I’m driving at when I say seek self-awareness. 

• Develop a Personal Mission Statement – this basically means that you work on outlining your purpose in life. What are your unique abilities that you will utilize to add value to the people around you – to the world? How do you create and distribute value through your true gifts and talents? 

• Lean on your strengths – all of us have certain qualities and abilities where we excel. These are the characteristics we display most often and/or the abilities that cause us to stand apart from most. It is important that you hone in on these qualities and abilities and use them to enhance your journey and your growth, thereby increasing your personal power. 

• Admit and work on your shortcomings – many individuals cannot admit let alone endeavor to work on their shortcomings. Do not waste your time making excuses for yourself or justifying your shortfalls. Instead, own them and seek new ways to improve upon them. Looking for ways to grow and change and improve yourself in any way already puts you light years ahead of the game in increasing your personal power.

• Let your core values guide you – especially at the times when you face tough choices, fall back on your core values. If your decisions are not in line with your core values, choose a path that is. The more you do this, the more your power and influence will increase because you are firm in your beliefs. If you simply knock about at the behest of the winds that blow, you will become wayward and misdirected. Your core values – your principles – are your compass by which you should make all decisions. 

• Do what is true for you – this is so powerful; the best way to be at peace with your decisions is by first accepting the consequences of your choices. As long as you do what is right and true for you, learn to live with the consequences. If you can do this more often than not, you will experience a profound and positive shift in your personal power. All choices come with a consequence – positive or negative. If your values are grounded in correct principles, you should see way more positive than negative consequences.

 

Dispel the illusion of complete control

Many individuals often believe that they are in complete control of every circumstance and even the people in their lives. Even when they say that they don’t believe that, they often act like it. I know I have. 

C’mon, admit it – there is a control freak somewhere inside of you and you know it. The fact is though that we are not in complete control of all that is in our private world. In fact, we only have control over one thing and one thing only – ourselves. 

That’s right; you can only control you. The way you affect changes is to first work on yourself and you affect others and circumstances as your influence grows. Once you begin to understand this concept, your mind opens up to new possibilities. You have to realize that different things move people; there are many choices at play all around you. You must learn to simply focus on your choices and your actions; this is how you increase your personal power and influence. 

If you focus on controlling other people and circumstances, it tends to be easier for you to lose control of the one thing that you actually control – YOU. What we do have is the power to influence other people and circumstances through the choices we make. When you understand the principle, you can quickly see that your main goal is to focus on your personal growth in order to increase your circle of influence. 

Complete control is an illusion – forget about it. Just focus on controlling you and your circle of influence will grow to the degree that you grow personally.

 

Focus on what you can change and influence

What you can change are you, your circumstance and thus your station in life. These are the things that you can choose to act on and make changes. Your personal power grows each time you achieve success in one of these three areas of growth. 

What you can influence are the people and circumstances around you. Essentially, focusing on changing yourself and circumstances first will automatically expand your range of influence. The more successful you are at improving yourself, the more influence you will command.

First seek to improve your personal growth and achieve your goals. With a clear picture of your desires in mind, act on helping others through your gifts and talents to find what they truly desire. If you can create and distribute value through what you do and as you grow, your personal power will increase. 

The point is to make you aware that spending energy on things that merely concern you is a waste of time. Things that only concern you are usually the things that you cannot change and/or over which you have no influence. It is ok to have concerns as long as they do not drive your actions. If your concerns are driving your choices, it will impede your growth and hamper your personal power. 

The fact is that the more you concentrate and changing yourself and influencing the people and circumstances around you, the more your personal power will increase. Also, when your power increases, things that once existed in your circle of concern will begin falling into your circle of influence where you can effectively affect them. 

If you find this the least bit confusing, think of it this way… 

You are the catalyst in all things you desire to achieve. If you can focus on your own growth, your area of influence will grow much more quickly and you will be able to affect change in areas you once could not. Real change occurs from the inside-out and your personal power grows in the same way.

 

Stand on your core values

To stand on anything other than your core values is like standing in quicksand. You will eventually sink. 

This does not mean that you do not value others’ points of view; it simply means that you make your choices based on whether or not they align with your core values. If what someone else believes is not in line with your core values then my recommendation is that you do not follow. 

The hardest thing to do is to stand on your core values when the odds are against you. This is also the time that it matters most; when it seems you stand alone. The truth is that you are never alone when you have good core values to back you up. It may hurt to do it sometimes in the short run; however, my experience is that the pain has always been worth it in the long run. 

Your core values – your principles – are the compass that guides you. These are what help you to make good decisions. They can easily clear up confusion because they are (or should be) clearly defined. 

Your core values are the blueprint to how you live and how you make your choices. When the chips are down, this is where you should be looking before you make tough choices. This way, no matter what happens, you are able to look in the mirror and smile back at yourself knowing that you made the right decision. 

While others may influence you and have a positive impact on your life – your choices are based on your core values. If you are unsure about what your core values are, my recommendation would be to take some time to figure that out. You may start here with this article.

 

Empower others to increase their personal power

As Stephen R. Covey puts it “Help others to find their voice.” 

One of the most effective ways to increase your personal power is to help others increase theirs. This means that you share your knowledge and experience with others. 

There are so many individuals searching for a new way – a new beginning – and an empowering word or two from you might be the difference they’ve been waiting for. To keep your knowledge and experience to yourself is not only selfish but also self-defeating. You learn so much more when you share what you know and furthermore, you open up space for more knowledge to enter. 

The more you teach, the more you learn; the more you share, the more you grow. The more you grow, the more your personal power increases. This also goes back the expansion of your range of influence. Think about the ripple effect of having a positive impact on just one human being if each person only shared with one other person. Your circle of influence increase more than 1,000 fold each time you share your knowledge and experience with someone else. 

When you help others to find their voice, you ultimately find yours. It is a natural law – a universal principle. 

Remember that the more you can increase your personal power, the greater the impact you can make on the world. The difference we make while we are here is the legacy we leave behind for the next generation. 

What do you want yours to be? 

 

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