Powerful Principles of Personal Growth

The Dichotomy of Competition

Competition is probably familiar to most of us in some form or another. Most of us have probably been competing for most of our lives at something or with someone. Think about it, what are competing in or for right now? I am sure you will be able to think of one or more scenarios.

When it comes to competition, my experience is that it falls in one of two paradigms – healthy or unhealthy.

Healthy competition incites growth and creativity; it inspires and propels one or a team to excel. Unhealthy competition on the other hand breeds resentment, envy and covetousness. It causes dissention in the ranks and among peers; while it may cause one to excel, it can cause a team to implode. 

The goal of this article is to raise your awareness and understanding of the two paradigms regarding competition so that you can make better choices in this dichotomy.

 

Unhealthy Competition

Unhealthy competition is where resentment and deception thrive. This occurs when one group of people are pitted against another. While there is nothing wrong with competing against one another per se, the set up has to be correct in order to avoid an unhealthy situation.

In unhealthy competition, the setup is not done properly. Often times the individuals involved, whether consciously or unconsciously, equate their value to how well they perform against someone else. Their sense of worth is derived from besting the next man. 

Unhealthy competition basically says to the victor that you are better than every one else involved and that they are less than you. Dejection and depression are some of the emotions that can occur when you are not the victor in unhealthy competition. For the victor, it may seem like a good thing; however, this individual usually ends up with a false sense of security and entitlement. It won’t be long before he/she is defeated in the same manner causing him/her to now feel dejected and/or depressed.

In unhealthy competition, there is no real goal except to beat the other guy. This of course is empty because after you’ve beaten the other guy, there is no real fulfillment to bring you residual satisfaction. If your only purpose is to win at all cost, your choices will soon be corroded by your desire to simply win and that negates the possibility of healthy competition.

Unhealthy competition is all about instant gratification – it’s a win/lose approach. Someone always wins while others lose because there are no lasting rewards beyond the physical prize.

 

If this position seems extreme to you, think of it this way… 

Have you ever been a part of a competition where some participants simply resign themselves to second best because the same person/people always win? You’ll hear things like “Why bother playing, so and so is going to win anyway?” 

The reason for this posture and attitude is because unhealthy competition does not create a true sense of hope for all parties involved. It doesn’t set everyone up to win – rather, it sets up a situation where there will always be winners and losers.

Don’t get me wrong – I know that someone almost always has to lose; however, losing is up to you and the mindset you choose to have. Individuals with a winner’s mindset understand that there is a win in everything, even the failures. If you can learn something from the things that go wrong, you will never lose – you will only grow. 

The bottom line is that true competition is not about winning and losing, it is about creating hope and inspiration that pushes others to excel in an effort to maximize their potential.

 

Healthy Competition

Healthy competition is where hope and inspiration thrive. This occurs when we push each other to succeed and grow – it occurs when we push ourselves to excel in pursuit of infinite possibilities. 

In healthy competition, the setup is a win/win approach. The goal is to inspire you to lift yourself to greater heights. Instead of having the attitude of you against them, the attitude is more you against the bar or you against the goal. The goal may be one that you accept from someone or of your own making. 

When you compete in this manner, your purpose is not simply to defeat the other guy but rather to achieve your goal. Even if the game involves others; you do not concern yourself with what they are doing and how they are playing, you simply pursue the goal set before you. In this vein, your sense of worth will not be based on your ability to best the other guy, it will come from within – from the things you value most. 

When you pursue your goals, residual satisfaction is automatic because you are growing at your own pace and in a manner that fulfills you. Healthy competition is supposed to inspire team work and sportsmanship. You don’t wish ill of others in the competition; in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Healthy competition dictates that you wish the best for the other guy because this also pushes you to be your best. 

When you focus on doing your best and achieving your goal, what the other guy does doesn’t matter. You have no distractions because you are not spending creative and tenacious power worrying about the other guy – your focus is simply to achieve your goal. 

One of the best aspects about healthy competition is that it increases your ability to achieve excellence in interdependent situations. While independence is important – it is certainly not as important as interdependence. Interdependent relationships are the pinnacle of excellence when it comes to success. No man is an island – the most successful individuals understand that working with others creates the best results. Greatness is not achieved alone but rather through the power of others.

To see people truly excel to great heights, it is important to challenge them from a standpoint of the things they value most. What is valuable to one may be worthless to another. You may have heard the cliché before “One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure.” 

Healthy competition requires this mindset because it provides a platform for win/win when the prize is valuable to the players. While there may be physical accolades, the more important reward must come from within in order to create residual satisfaction. Healthy competition is certainly not about instant gratification but rather about impactful and long lasting fulfillment.

 

Think of it this way… 

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson did not simply want to beat each other on the court. They wanted to be the best in the game and therefore they wanted to play against the best. These two were the best and they respected each other. If one of them were to be injured before a game, the other would be totally disappointed because he knew he would not have the opportunity to play against the best. You see instead of wishing ill for each other, they did the exact opposite – they wished for each to be healthy just so they could play against the best in order to become the best in the game of basketball. 

The goals that great athletes set have very little to do with the other guy and much more to do with what they want to achieve in their game of choice. Their focus is on the goals that they set – it doesn’t matter what the other guy is doing. The other guy only represents a milestone on the way to achieving the ultimate goal. 

When you are not the victor – when you do not achieve your goal in a competition, the best thing to do is study what worked and what didn’t and learn from them. Learn from your opponents and give their game the respect it deserves. Healthy competition is about hope and inspiration – when you have tall hopes and you have been inspired, you will be able to do the same for others. 

Competition is good as long as it’s healthy. 
 

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The Natural Law of Re-action & Pro-action

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. This is Sir Isaac Newton’s third law of motion and it is a sound and true principle. Essentially, this means that if you lean on a wall, the wall must lean back in order for you and it to remain standing otherwise, you would go through it. 

The law of physics is simply undeniable and irrefutable.  

I do want to point out just how important it is that you grasp this concept in order to fully comprehend the objective of this article. The goal is to help you understand the difference between re-action and pro-action. Furthermore, it is to help you realize which action you want to be a part of in order to significantly improve upon your personal growth. 

What I am about to share with you may seem harsh to some degree and down right abrasive; however, the reality check is better delivered raw in this case so that you can clearly see the value. 

Eat your Wheaties before you read if you need to. 
  

Re-Action

Reaction dictates that you only act when acted upon by other people or circumstances. Your choices are mainly grounded in what others think of you and not what you think of yourself. Your actions are largely dictated by conditioned beliefs and by what is happening to the people and circumstances around you. You only change when they change.

When you react, it means that you are affected by changes but not necessarily that you affect them. In fact, you are a part of the status quo much more often than you are a part of evolution and progressive change. 

Reactive individuals do not take responsibility for what they say or do; it’s always someone or something else’s fault. They do not see the simple truth that the choices that they make are directly related to the results they achieve. Reactive individuals have a “tit for tat” mindset. They tend to believe that what you say and do is based on what is happening around you.

The natural law of reaction states that when you react, you will only heighten and stir up the situation to which you are reacting which will create a snowball effect. It doesn’t matter if the situation is positive of negative, it will be compounded and magnified by your reaction.

 

Pro-Action

Pro-action dictates that you only act on your own core values and beliefs regardless of the people and circumstances around you. Your choices are mainly grounded in what you think of yourself and your conviction in your value system and beliefs. Your actions are largely dictated by the goals that you have set for yourself and your desire to achieve them. You change course only when your personal blueprint or mission changes. 

When you pro-act, it means that you are affecting changes rather than simply being affected by them. In fact, you abhor the status quo and consistently seek to change things for the better – you are a part of evolution and progressive change. 

Pro-active individuals always take responsibility for what they say and do. They do not blame others or circumstances for the results they achieve because they understand that their choices are the reason they are where they are and have what they have. Pro-active individuals have a “solution and results” mindset. They are much more interested in a desirable outcome than a mindless reaction that means nothing and solves even less. 

The natural law of pro-action states that when you pro-act, you will only release and alleviate emotional stress and angst which provides a calmer more suitable environment for meaningful exchanges. It doesn’t matter if a situation is positive or negative; it will be defused by pro-action.

 

Application

Now that you understand the natural law of re-action and pro-action, it is important to understand how to apply them. 

In my opinion, reaction is almost always not a good avenue to trot. Sure there are certain situations when your reaction doesn’t matter as much; however, in my experience it’s a bad habit to develop because it affects all of your choices and actions. 

When you simply react, it’s another way of giving away your personal power. Essentially, what you’re saying is that you have no choice but to blow whichever direction the wind is blowing. You have no control over you or what you think, say and do – this is what you’re telling the world when you simply react. 

Reactive people are always affected by changes but they influence and affect very little change. Most often, they are not good leaders and they make poor choices in their personal growth. 

On the other hand, pro-action is almost always a good avenue to trot. In fact, I cannot think of one situation where pro-activity would be better than reactivity.

When you pro-act, you instantly increase your personal power; you are saying that you make your own choices. The direction of the wind does not dictate your direction – that comes from within. You take responsibility for what you think, say and do and you realize that these are all your choices. 

Pro-active people always affect changes – they influence the people and circumstances around them. These are usually good leaders because they make sound choices that are grounded in correct principles. People tend to want to follow pro-active individuals because they know where they are going. They do not simply knock about until the tides drop them on an uncharted desert island. They make things happen. 

Whether you believe it or not, the natural law of re-action and pro-action is operating in your life right now. All you have to decide is whether you are going to wait for things to happen to you before you act or will you make things happen. I can tell you that no truly successful individual has ever sat back and waited for things to simply happen. They take action – they make choices and move fervently towards their goal. 

Reactive people are like sheep waiting for the wolf to show up before they build a fence to keep him out. Pro-active people are like chipmunks that forage for food before the dawn of winter – they don’t wait for the frost before they stock up. 

The question is, are you a sheep or a chipmunk? 
 

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Pursuing Your Potential

Look in the mirror and ask yourself this question, “Have I always done my best?” If you can answer yes, you are definitely among the very few, if any, who have. More likely, you are probably lying to yourself. 

If you have not always done your best, then ask yourself “Why not?”

Maximize your potential… you have so much potential… I see so much potential in you. These are just some of the phrases you often hear about recognizing and/or pursuing your potential. The question is; do you really understand what potential is and how it applies to your life? 

My experience has been that most individuals do not understand the concept let alone how to know if they are even pursuing it. Truly successful individuals understand potential and the importance of consistently pursuing theirs. If you are not truly pursuing your potential, you are leaving way too much of yourself untapped. The realization of your true gifts and talents will continue to escape you because you are not seeking to continuously improve yourself. 

The goal of this article is to raise your awareness to your true potential and help you understand how to consistently pursue it to reach your goals.

 

First, let’s define potential… 

Your potential is an inexhaustible pool of infinite possibilities you can pursue and achieve from one level to the next. It is your incredible capacity to constantly grow and improve without a ceiling.

With that in mind, do you believe that you are consistently pursuing your potential? I can tell you flatly right now that most people are not – many don’t even have a clue as to what it means to do that. 

Following are 6 principles in attitude that will not only raise your awareness but also help you fully maximize the pursuit of your potential.

 

1.    Embrace change

In order to pursue your potential you have to embrace change. In fact, truly successful individuals wake up everyday to change things. If you are not affecting changes, then you are in a reactor simply being affected by them. 

Without change, there is no progress – without progress there is no growth. In order to move from one level to the next, something has to change. You cannot do the same thing you’ve always done and expect different results. This is the definition of insanity. 

Unless you embrace change, you will never discover new knowledge. If you don’t acquire new knowledge, how will you move to the next level? There is no way to move beyond your current level without new information – new methods – just new. 

Your potential sits dormant until you awaken it by pursuing a new avenue. This is the reason it is so crucial to embrace change.

 

2.  Do your best

No matter what the outcome, always do your best. You’ve probably heard this a hundred times or more; however, it is so important to drive this point home. If you are not doing your best, you cannot achieve your true potential. 

If you do anything half-assed, that means that you are leaving something on the table. Truly successful individuals go all out when they pursue their goals. They leave nothing to chance and no stone unturned that they know of. In reaching for your goals, you should accept nothing less than your best effort. 

If you know that you have done less than your best, you cannot then turn around and wonder why you achieved the results you did. If they are lack-luster, it is a direct consequence of your lack-luster performance.

 

Let me put this way… 

At the 1988 Winter Olympics, Swiss skier Pirmin Zurbriggin was a shoe-in for the gold medal after his first run in the Men’s downhill. Essentially, all he had to do was ski to the bottom of the mountain without falling and he would win the gold medal. 

If you were watching, you know Zurbriggin did anything but simply skied safely to the bottom of the mountain. He exploded out of the gate skiing as hard as he possibly could. Upon reaching the 39^th flag on the run, Zurbriggin hooked one of his skis and tumbled through pretty much the rest of the run. That unfortunate mishap cost him the gold medal and he ended up with the bronze. 

At the bottom of the mountain he was mobbed by the media folks who had but one question; “Why would someone who was a shoe-in for the gold medal risk it?” He never answered the question. 

Sometime later, someone asked a close friend of Zurbriggin’s the same question to which he replied, “As always, Pirmin was simply trying to ski his best race.” 

Do you get the point? It doesn’t matter what is on the line, always do your best. If you don’t do your best, you will never know just how good you truly are. There will always be the “what if” questions lingering and you will be left to wonder about what could have been. 

So, in pursuing your potential, always do your best and you’ll never have to wonder about what could have been. 
  

3.  Positive Discontent

Mark Sanborn taught me this and I believe it with all my heart. It is important to adapt a mindset of positive discontent. This means that although you should undoubtedly celebrate all your wins, you should not become content with your current station or level of success. 

Once you become comfortable with where you are, you stop pursuing your potential. The next level is always waiting each time you move up a notch. It is never-ending. 

This is something that happens to large companies quite often; they become number one and then they get complacent and sloppy. Before you know it, the smallest fish in the tank takes a huge shark bite out of your ass-ets. 

It is vital that you do not become complacent and too smug with your present because as the world changes without you, you will eventually get left in the wake of the new world – your future could go up in smoke. 

When you become complacent with where you are, you immediately limit yourself. You close yourself off to new knowledge and you stop embracing change. What you will find eventually is that you are only equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists while those who continue to learn and grow are eating your lunch. 

Positive Discontent is a mindset that allows you to celebrate your successes; enjoy them even; however, you do not become too content with them whereby it leaves you stagnant. You cannot pursue your potential if you are stagnant.

 

4.  Discomfort Zone

Your discomfort zone is where you need to live if you want to pursue your potential. If you can adapt the mindset of positive discontent, it will inevitably lead to you to spending a lot more time in your discomfort zone. 

Your discomfort zone is the opposite of your comfort zone which is where most people like to remain. It’s safe, they understand it and they’ve mastered it so no need to flirt with the dangers of discomfort. The truth is though that when you are in your discomfort zone that is when you are discovering new knowledge and experiencing change. This is where the greatest progress occurs. 

If you are feeling too comfortable, you are no longer growing which means you are no longer changing which means your potential is dormant. Again, this is the danger of complacency – it leaves you stuck in a familiar place that does not change and therefore does not grow. 

Just remember that most change is uncomfortable at first; however, the more you embrace it, the better it gets.

 

Think of it this way… 

A woman can experience some serious discomfort during pregnancy and even more during childbirth; however, once that baby is out, the joy that it brings into the world is always worth it. You would be hard-pressed to find one mother that would not agree with this. 

Stay in your discomfort zone more often and you will always be pursuing your potential.

 

5.  Take risks

This falls right in line with the last 2 principles; you must be willing to take risks. Playing it safe will always get you conservative results and the “what if” questions will plague you. I am not saying that you need to walk a tightrope at 30,000 feet above ground; however, take calculated risks. 

If you are simply going to do what everyone else does all the time, how can you pursue your potential? There is a reason why everyone’s potential is different – you have to do you. Only you can awaken the latent energies inside you. Certainly people and circumstances may inspire you; however, you are the only one that can ignite the fire. 

Possibilities and risks go hand in hand because the greater the risk the more fruitful the possibility you can attain. Again, err on the side of caution when you take risks; don’t just take risks to be a daredevil. Make sure you only take calculated risks – don’t live in a box and don’t allow fear to paralyze you.

 

6.  Never settle

You can only achieve your true potential at any level if you settle for nothing but your heart’s true desire. Never settle no matter what. The moment you settle for something less than what you truly want, it begins to breed frustration and resentment. Never settle! 

Please understand that accepting something is different from settling. While you may at any given time accept a certain outcome, it does not mean that you settle for it. You may accept it in the moment for different reasons but you know in your heart that the buck does not stop there. The buck stops with you and what you truly desire. 

Pursuing your potential requires that you seek only the best in yourself, the best in others and the best in all situations and nothing less. 

Did I say NEVER SETTLE? 

People who settle for less than what they truly desire deserve the mediocrity they receive in return. If that sounds harsh, I apologize but it’s true. 

These 6 principles of attitude will undoubtedly raise your awareness and help you pursue your true potential from one level to the next. Remember that your potential is inexhaustible – there are no limits to the things you can achieve except the ones you place on yourself. 

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Attitude, Aptitude & Altitude – Powerful Principles in Personal Leadership

You cannot lead others in any area of life until you first succeed in leading yourself in the same. This is what it means to lead by example. 

Mohandas Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Truer words have never been spoken about personal leadership – leading self. Essentially, the powerful principle at work here says that to the degree that you can lead yourself successfully – you can lead others to that level. You cannot however help others succeed at anything beyond a level that you have not attained.  That would be like you coaching an apple tree on what type of apples to bear. It doesn’t make sense – does it? 

Success in your personal growth will be defined by your success in personal leadership. It will be crystallized by how well you lead yourself in the different areas of your life. How you lead yourself is the way you will lead others. 

Ever notice how those individuals who seem to hate their lives are consistently saying and doing things to make others miserable? Often times we are not even aware of our behavior until we either reap the negative consequences or someone who loves us enough tells us about it. 

Success in your personal leadership will depend on many factors; however, following are 3 of the major pillars of personal leadership. The goal of this article is to not only raise your awareness to these factors but also to help you understand how they apply in your life and your personal growth.

 

1.    Attitude

The manner in which you approach any situation is crucial to the results that you ultimately achieve. If you can maintain a positive attitude, you will always be able to find the upside in almost any situation. 

While I am completely aware that it is sometimes hard to maintain a positive attitude, I am totally convinced that doing so makes a significant difference in the results you achieve. 

Your attitude determines your mindset; it is the foundation on which your responses sit. The attitude you choose to have – and yes it is your choice – will determine how effective you are. 

To maintain a positive attitude, it is important that you believe in 3 things:

1.      Believe in choice – you must believe in your ability to choose your attitude and your responses in any given situation. No matter how hard it may seem, how you respond to circumstances and the people around you is your choice. You are the master of your fate and the choices you make determine it. 

2.      Believe in possibilities – make no assumptions and embrace change; this is how you believe in possibilities. When you believe in possibilities, it opens your heart and mind to new worlds; some of which you have only imagined and even the ones you have not. This mindset significantly impacts your attitude in a positive way because when you are open instead of closed, your experiences are richer and you feel a whole lot better. 

3.      Believe in the future – your attitude will be acutely affected by your hope for the future. If you have no hope then your attitude will be one of pessimism and cynicism. If you truly have hope for the future – a better tomorrow – your attitude will reflect it and so will your choices. 

The way that you approach your life and your outlook for the future are the fuel for a positive attitude. Without a positive attitude, it will be hard for you to imagine a better tomorrow. This is why your mindset is so important to your success – to improving your personal leadership.

 

2.  Aptitude

Success in your personal leadership also requires that you continuously seek to improve your abilities. If you can only lead others to the level of success that you’ve experienced then consistently improving your abilities will provide you with more experiences and knowledge to share. 

Your aptitude determines how well you do something; it is the level of your abilities that will sustain the fire in your attitude. If you do not seek to improve your skills or use your gifts then you will continue to struggle. The more you struggle the harder it will become to maintain a positive attitude. 

A very popular misconception is that having a positive attitude is all you need to succeed. While it is obvious that a positive attitude is vital to success, it cannot stand alone. If you have no clue what you are doing and no plans to learn, you will achieve nothing. Your attitude is the foundation; however, your abilities determine the success in execution.

There is no use sending in the world’s greatest electrician to do a plumber’s job – he simply doesn’t have the propensity for fixing pipes; wires for sure but not pipes. Additionally, no one wants to follow anyone who is clueless about what he/she is doing or where he/she is going. 

High aptitude requires 3 things:

1.      Keen awareness – the more aware you are, the better the choices you make and the more effective you will be. It is easy to become aware of your strengths; however, becoming aware of your shortcomings is more difficult because we don’t want to see ourselves in that light. It is important though to look at yourself honestly and give an accurate assessment of your abilities. The more you know what you don’t know, the more you will learn.

2.      Practice – it does truly make perfect. The more you do something the better you become at it and the more success you achieve. High aptitude comes from doing; acting on the things you learn. 

3.      Mentorship – this goes both ways in improving aptitude. While it is vital to your personal growth and leadership that you find and follow mentors, it is equally vital that you mentor others. Although this is also a form of leading others, it can do wonders for your own personal leadership. The more you share your knowledge and experience with others, the more room you create to fill up on more knowledge and experience. One of the best ways to keep learning is to teach. 

If you can master these 3 elements, your aptitude – your skill level will improve significantly.

 

3.  Altitude

Your altitude is about the heights to which you can grow. We all have the potential to reach tremendous heights; however, many of us won’t even reach half that potential. Your altitude is fueled by your attitude and aptitude. 

With the right mindset and the consistent growth of your skill set, there are no limits to what you can achieve. There are no limits except for those that we place on ourselves. Often times the biggest roadblocks we face are in our minds. 

Let’s look at altitude from an academic standpoint. In order to move to the next level, you must successfully pass different tests or exams that the curriculum requires. Essentially, your studies prepare you so that you can showcase your level of ability on these tests or exams. If you cannot pass the tests or exams for a particular level, you do not earn your degree so that you can move to the next level. 

Individuals who consistently move to the next level all have to focus on these 3 things:

1.      Desire – you must understand your true desires in order to reach high altitudes. The more you understand what it is you truly seek, the better your choices will be, bringing you ever closer to your goals. With a crystallized goal in mind, your choices and actions will reflect that intensity. 

2.      Intent – knowing exactly what you intend is like an arrow heading for the bull’s eye; its purpose is clear. Desire precedes intent and intent precedes follow through. Again, it is important to truly understand exactly what your intentions are; this is your guiding light for the choices you make. You decide what to do and say based on your true intent. Academia-wise, your true intent will dictate how much you need to study and so forth.

3.      Follow through – without action, nothing gets done. This is why it is important to follow through on your plans. Personal leadership requires that you follow through on your intent in order to achieve your goal. When your desire and intent are clear, it will help you to avoid the pitfalls of the debilitating disease of procrastination. 

The most beautiful thing about altitude is that it is defined by the limitations you place on yourself. Altitude is a principle which means it is limitless; you can never exhaust it. The minute you understand that, you realize a profound shift in your mindset. Once you begin to believe in infinite possibilities and that the universe has the power to deliver anything you desire – you’re truly FREE. 

My experience has been that improving these 3 powerful principles in personal leadership result in milestone successes every single time. Whenever I have applied them, the results I have achieved have been profound, impacting and fulfilling. 

If you can improve your ability to lead yourself, others will want to follow your example because you are authentic. 

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The Natural Law of Momentum

How may people even realize that momentum is a natural law – a universal principle; that it exists and operates in our lives whether we believe it or not? 

The incredible thing about momentum is that once you understand it and how it applies to your life and personal growth, your chances of success go way up. If you can align your choices, thoughts and actions with the universal principle – the natural law of momentum, your success rate will go through the roof. 

As with all natural laws though – you can either operate in ways where they serve you or break you. Remember principles are not biased; they do not break – we can only break ourselves against them.

 

Let’s first define momentum. 

Momentum is impetus, force, thrust; it is the energy source that drives something else. It is like an avalanche that builds in magnitude, speed and potential as it gushes down the slope.

 

Momentum Awareness

As I have often said; what you are aware of you can act on, what you are unaware of acts on you. I can say with certainty that you are either acting on momentum right now or momentum is acting on you. It is irrelevant whether you believe it or not – it is happening anyway. 

Whatever you give consistent and increasing energy to will build massive momentum in your life. As one of my mentors Blair Singer puts it, “highest energy” wins. This is so true. What you feed grows; what you starve dies. It couldn’t be simpler when it comes to momentum.

 

Take the old Eskimo analogy…

There was once an old Eskimo that had one black dog and one white dog and every Saturday; these dogs would fight until one of them was too tired to continue. Some Saturdays the black dog would win and on others the white dog would win. The odd thing was no matter which dog won the old Eskimo would always bet on the winner – somehow he always knew which one would win. 

One day, a young fellow asked the old Eskimo “How is it that you always bet on the winning dog; how do you always know which one will win.” The old Eskimo replied “Why that’s easy son – I just bet on the one I had been feeding all week.” 

So you see, what you feed – give energy to will grow and what you starve will die.

 

Here’s the point… 

If you consistently and increasingly feed or give energy to negativity, the negative events in your life will become plentiful and momentous. If you get up every day and whine, complain and bitch about the things you don’t have, you will only get more of nothing. Your bank account of “have not” will continue to grow and build magnitude, speed and potential just like an avalanche. 

Have you ever noticed that the more down you are the more the universe works to keep you down? That’s the natural law – universal principle – of momentum at work in your life. 

On the other hand, if you consistently and increasingly feed or give energy to positivity, the positive events in your life will become plentiful and momentous. If you get up every day feeling happy to be alive, give thanks for what you have and show gratitude for others, you will get even more to be thankful and grateful for. Your bank account “have” will continue to grow and build magnitude, speed and potential just like an avalanche. 

Have you ever noticed that the more up you are, the more the universe works to keep you up? That too is the natural law – universal principle – of momentum at work in your life.

 

Momentum Application

I don’t think I am making any assumptions when I say that you would rather give energy to the best things in your life than the worst. I am sure you would rather feel more up than down every day of the week. If not – don’t bother reading any further because this won’t help you. 

Now that you understand that momentum is indeed a natural law – a universal principle – it is important that you understand how to apply it to your life and personal growth. 

Momentum is a perpetual cycle; it is always going and continues infinitely. Knowing this helps you to understand that the more energy you give to the people, circumstances and activities in your life, the more energy they will need and the more room they will occupy. What this means is that it is your responsibility to choose your relationships, circumstances and activities wisely. 

To ensure that the momentum in your life is fueled with the proper octane of gasoline, you must make choices that are in line with your core values and grounded in correct principles. Feeding any negativity whether by way of your relationships or activities will only make the negative events more momentous in your life. There is a reason why you are often judged by the company you keep. 

Certainly, you may not be a thief BUT, if you hang out with thieves, you cannot then be truly astonished if others also believe that you too are a thief. It may not be right for others to make that assumption; however, you can certainly see how easy it would be to make such an assumption considering the company you keep. 

Furthermore, if you are not a thief, why would you hang out with thieves? Hanging out with thieves whilst not being a thief is like saying I’m not a minion of Satan – I just like hanging out in hell. 

Sure that’s your prerogative but it would be kind of hard not to see you as one of his minions. Besides, it’s hypocritical to say you are one thing and yet give energy to something completely opposite. The point is that if you give thieves energy, their aura and energy will build up momentum in and around your life. When the police come knocking – don’t be surprised. 

If you want the right things (whatever right things mean to you) to build momentum in your life, those are what you have to focus on. The difficulty comes in when life throws you all sorts of curve balls and it becomes near impossible to juggle them all. Frustration sets in, then dejection and ultimately depression which leads to a negative spiral down into the abyss of despair. 

The goal then is to maintain a positive attitude much more often that you do a negative one. This way, you will be able to feed the right things and give energy to positivity. Here are a few tips that can help you maintain a more positive attitude. 

• Give thanks every day – each day you rise, give thanks for life; for the blessings in your life no matter how small you may think they are. Find new things to give thanks for and the more you do it, the more you will get to be thankful for. 

• Celebrate all wins – learn to celebrate all your wins and the wins of others. No matter how small the success, give yourself a pat on the back for having accomplished it; shout it out – tell someone and truly feel good about it.

• Show gratitude – first of all show appreciation for you and then show appreciation for all the people in your life. Show appreciation even for the people who don’t like you as much; appreciate the lessons you’ve learned because of them.

• Be of service to others – find new ways to be of service to others; it doesn’t matter what you do so long as you provide value to someone else with a genuine heart. The greatest gift that you can ever give to another is YOU. 

The more you can maintain a positive attitude, the easier it will be for you to focus on more productive and enlightening things. You will complain less and solve more problems; you will whine less and help more; you will take less and give more; you will pout less and do more. All of these things will positive momentum in your life. 

If you’re still thinking that this really can’t be all there is to it – think again. 

Just think about how much energy you’ve given in the past to some of the most negative and repeating occurrences in your life. Think about all the complaining, whining and bitching you did about them. Worse yet; think of how many conversations you entertained about them – this is where momentum really gets out of control. 

The ripple effect of one conversation spanned across 10 people who talk to 10 other people each who also talk to 10 other people each would result in a 1,000 person ripple effect. That becomes a magnitude of 1,000 negative conversations building momentum around just one issue. That’s the power of momentum. 

Can you then imagine the same scenario around much more positive topics? The build of momentum would be the same 1,000 ripples; however, the feeling and the atmosphere would be totally different and much more fulfilling. 

The natural law of momentum simply says that the more force you put behind something – the more energy you feed it, the bigger and faster it gets and the more potential it has on impact. 

When you consider this, what are the things you want to stop giving your energy to right now? What are some of the issues that have been plaguing you repeatedly because you kept feeding into them? 

Ponder it a moment and I am sure you will come up with a few things almost immediately. Once I understood this principle, the immediate changes in my life were profound and impactful and still continue to be. It’s not always easy to flip the switch the other way; however, I can say with absolute certainty that every time I have – it’s been totally worth it.

Here’s to more positively momentous events in your life.  

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7 Popular Negative Phrases You May Not Be Aware Of

There are so many things that we say daily without even thinking; some good some bad. Usually, we understand exactly what we’re saying and have a pretty good idea of what the impact might be. 

There are those times though when we say some things and unbeknownst to us, does way more damage than we are aware of. The reason is because when we use these phrases, we don’t even realize that they are negative. What’s worse, we are totally ignorant of how using these phrases affect our attitudes and actions. 

Don’t be shocked at some of the phrases you read in this article; furthermore, don’t fall off your chair if you realize you use one or more of them way too often. My goal is simple; to raise your awareness to 7 of the most popular negative phrases that masquerade as positive or realistic sayings. 

Ready? Ok, here goes…

 

1.    It is what it is

On its face, this phrase may sound like a realistic one; it might even sound positive to many. The underlying meaning is supposed to be that you are ok with what is and that you’re just dealing with it. 

The problem with this phrase however, is that it puts you in a weak, digressive and reactive mindset. It is what it is basically says that you have no influence over what happens to you or around you. It says that you are at the mercy of all that is and will be and that you have no choice but to deal with what comes because that is all you can do. 

Even if when you say this phrase this is not what you mean, it still creates that negative energy. The truth is that rather than saying “It is what it is”, a more firm, progressive and proactive thought would be to say, “It is what I make it.” Now doesn’t that sound much more positive and uplifting? 

When you say or invoke that “It is what I make it”, you are in effect saying that you do have influence over what happens to you and around you. You are saying that you don’t have to just deal with what comes, you can make choices to create the future in which you want to live. So please, can this phrase immediately if you are a user or worse an abuser. 
  

2.  What is to be will be

Really… is that truly the message you want to convey? 

This again is another phrase masquerading as realistic but really not – and certainly not positive. What is to be will be is an excuse not to act; it’s a cop out. In the words of the great Bob Marley “Every man (or woman) has a right to decide his own destiny.” 

This phrase creates a mindset that you have no control over what happens to you or your station in life. It basically says that your future is already written and no matter what you do today, you cannot affect tomorrow. Nothing could be further from the truth. The real truth is that no matter what has happened in your past and no matter what is going on in your life presently, it is the choices you make today that will determine the outcome of your tomorrow. There are no ifs ands or buts about that. 

When you invoke “What is to be will be”, you’ve already given up your power to the people and circumstances around you. If you believe that you have the ultimate power to choose your destiny, a better phrase would be “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” Certainly this phrase sounds better that to leave your fate to the will of the blowing winds. 

Remember this… while people and circumstances undoubtedly influence your actions, they do not determine; only you and your ultimate power of choice determines your fate. What you make of your life is totally up to you whether you believe it or not.

 

3.  I’ll believe it when I see it

This phrase is extremely popular – sometimes said like this: “seeing is believing.”  What an absolute mind job this is! 

Basically, this phrase strips you of any hope for mankind or the greatness within it. I hope it doesn’t surprise you to see me take it this far. The truth is that it does run this deep.

 

Ponder a moment… 

I’ll believe it when I see it essentially means that you don’t accept anything as real unless it first manifests before your eyes. Can you see the absolute buffoonery in this thinking? How can anything come to past unless it is first believed? 

Nothing happens unless someone believes it is going to happen; belief precedes action and action begets results. To the degree that you believe something, your results will reflect the same intensity. 

It stands to principle then that “I’ll believe it when I see it” is not only negative but also ass backwards. If you wish to see anything manifest in your life, a more impactful and principle-aligned phrase would be “I’ll see it when I believe it.” This is how you manifest your success – you must first believe that it will happen and your actions will fall in line which will produce the results you desire. 

Look, if you are still going to continue using this phrase, it means two things: first you are definitely a cynic and all you can think of is negativity. Second, you are totally ok with being a BUFFOON.  

4.  I can’t…

Any phrase that starts like this can only go downhill from there. This is a tough one because often times when we use the term “I can’t” what we really mean is “I choose.” 

It was difficult; however, I have managed to reduce the use of this significantly and it has done wonders for my attitude. The more you begin your phrases with I can’t, the more disempowered you become. You see, every time you say I can’t, you are in effect saying that you have no choice and that someone else is pulling your strings like a puppet. 

The way I see it is that you have to go from puppet to puppet master. No one pulls your strings but you. My experience is that there are two instances in which the “I can’t” term comes out rather quickly. The first is when you truly believe that making any other choice would be dire to you. The second is when you need to shelter yourself from the backlash; you don’t want to be accountable for your choice so you back pedal by saying “I can’t. 

Either way, all you are doing is disempowering yourself more. Instead of “I can’t”, more empowering phrases would be “I can” or “I choose.” Sure, both alternatives make you responsible for what you say and accountable to your word but so what – that’s the way it is supposed to be. Don’t be a powder puff – own your choices.

 

5.  That’s impossible

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard (used) this one, I’d own my own island by now. This is a phrase that quickly passes our lips the moment we hear something that is different than what we believe. People who live to uphold the status quo often think that anything that goes against the status quo is impossible. 

No matter how many human, scientific, medical and technological breakthrough we achieve, some of us still find it difficult to stop abusing these words. The fact of the matter is nothing is impossible – NOTHING! 

The universe has an infinite supply of possibilities that we cannot hope or even begin to exhaust. The mere fact that change and evolution take place constantly negates the possibility of exhausting possibilities. I don’t know if it ever sounded intelligent but I know that in this day and age, using the phrase “That’s impossible” sounds dim-witted at best. 

Instead of responding by saying “That’s impossible” when you hear something different or unusual, try a response like “How would that work?” or “What does that look like to you?” or something more humble like “I never thought of it that way.” You will learn so much more if you can practice this approach. 

Let me put it this way… if you can recall at least 5 events or discoveries that you once thought were impossible, you should eliminate this phrase from your vocabulary immediately. And, if you are unable to do that, then you are either a developing infant or you’ve been sleepwalking for at least the past decade. For your sake I hope you are the former. 
 

6.  What if it doesn’t work?

Yeah… but what if it does? 

Fear is a major driver of this negative phrase. People who are fearful of change often ask this question because they only need one reason not to move forward. This gives them a way out – something to blame other that where the blame squarely rests – on their shoulders. 

Don’t get me wrong, it is totally ok and prudent to review and research and crosscheck your facts and figures. When you’re doing that though, you ought to be looking for solutions to the problems you encounter. If all you ever do is point out the problem, it is like throwing gasoline on a fire and simply walking away.

Visionaries don’t ever think in terms of what won’t work; they always want to know what will. The fact that something won’t work just means that there is a solution that needs to be found. If you are constantly asking “What if it doesn’t work?” you are just impeding progress. 

Instead of asking “What if it doesn’t work?” ask “What if it does?” This thinking creates a mindset of solutions and possibilities. It gives rise to creativity, tenacity and powerful imagination. At some point, in order for an idea to flourish, you simply have to let it go and see what happens. Celebrate the successes and learn from the failures – that is all you have to do.

 

7.   If only I had more…

This phrase is the quintessential beginning of some of the best excuses ever thought of. This is because it is so easy and seemingly justified when you begin your phrases with this. It basically lays the burden of every shortcoming and failure on things over which we have no control.

 

For instance… 

“If only I had more time.” This said even when you knew from the onset exactly how much time you had. Another classic is “If only I had more money.” Really… what difference would it make? And furthermore, it’s easy to simply dodge the bullet by saying if only I had more money when all the while you know you have no plan or any hope of ever having more than 2 pennies in your pocket. 

First of all where time is concerned, you’re never going to have more or less of it. Time is a principle that merely exists; it is constant and keeps ticking away no matter what you do. All we can do is manage ourselves in alignment with the principle; this is why we invented 24 hours for a day and so forth. It is simply an effort to be more productive, efficient and healthy. 

As for having more money – hogwash; work with your true gifts and talents to create and distribute value to others. If you are tying your worth to how much money you have, you aren’t really worth that much anyway. 

The bottom line here is that this phrase places blame on things over which you have no control which makes them the perfect scapegoats. This is a negative mindset because it robs you of abundant thinking. Instead of beginning your phrase with “If only I had more…” begin by saying “I appreciate….” When you show gratitude, you get more to be grateful for. 

This mindset creates a more positive and uplifting attitude that can only propel your success even further. 

If you are still reading, I suspect that one of two things must have happened…

1.      This article actually struck a nerve a it’s making you think and rethink your entire vocabulary – this is good 

2.      You have been laughing your ass off the whole way through and you couldn’t wait to read what hilarious thing I was going to say next – this is also good.

 

Here’s the deal… 

If you truly believe that your words carry any kind of power, I am certain you would want to be careful what you say. My goal was to raise your awareness; the rest is up to you. Just remember what you are aware of you can act on, what you are unaware of acts on you. 
 

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