Powerful Principles of Personal Growth

7 Secrets to Authentic Happiness

I don't know anyone who doesn't want to be happy. I think deep down that is what we all seek. In my experience many people have no clue what Authentic Happiness is let alone what it takes to achieve it.

I have had the great fortune to hang out with and learn from some truly happy people. I have also experienced true happiness. While I don't claim that I am always in a happy mood; I can say with certainty that I am truly happy with my life. Regardless of the challenges that come along – I remain happy.

Have you ever felt like happiness eludes you? Do you sometimes wonder what true happiness is? Perhaps you're just wondering whether or not you are happy or are meant to be happy.

In any case, the purpose of this article is to outline for you what I am calling the 7 Secrets to Authentic Happiness.

Secret#1: Look Within

You may have heard this before and may have even scoffed at the idea; however, this is so simply true. All happiness begins within. If you cannot experience authentic happiness internally, you will never be able to experience it outwardly.

All physical manifestations are a result of our thoughts and belief of those thoughts. Consistently looking outward for happiness is an effort in futility because it's like expecting wake up in the morning and make yourself a cup of coffee without ever having the thought that you're going to make yourself a cup of coffee.

Yes, it's oversimplified but I want you to get the point. All happiness comes from within – it begins with the spiritual and your belief ushers it into fruition.

Secret #2: You're Perfect

That's right – YOU – WE are all perfect! Why?

Because we are all born with the ability to be who we want when we want. There is nothing stopping us. The universe is perfect which means it can only produce perfection. Imperfection only exists because of our lack of awareness of all that is perfect which is everything.

Authentic Happiness requires that you understand, believe and know that you are perfect just the way you are. Since we are able to change our circumstance and conditions at any given time, we are perfect because we can change.

To put it another way, being flawed is perfect. Flaws are just another mechanism of perfection through which we are able to learn new things and grow. Some flaws stick with you longer than others but only because you have not yet thought differently and believed differently about those flaws.

Essentially, we remain the way we are for as long as we continue to believe that it is the way we ought to be. Once we are convicted in the belief that we can, should and will be something different – then and ONLY then will we change.

This is why you are perfect and truly happy people understand, believe and know this.

Secret #3: Everyone Else Is Also Perfect

It might seem obvious; however, I thought it best to overstate it lest we find ego rearing its ugly head. As you are perfect – everyone else is also perfect. Truly happy people not only see themselves as perfect, they see all others exactly the same.

The fact that other people may not realize that they are indeed perfect the way they are is irrelevant to a truly happy person. Truly happy people know that all other people have to do to experience authentic happiness is to see themselves the way that they see them – HAPPY.

Trust me – this one is super hard for me too; There are plenty of people in my circle that I don't think of as happy. I do realize though that until I can see them that way, I will not be truly happy in this aspect.

Whenever I have been able to see in my mind's eye everyone around me; that I come in contact with as happy – truly incredible things happen and it feels amazing.

I'll promise to continue working on this if you will. Deal?

Secret #4: Make a Difference

It's hard to be happy if you don't believe that you make a difference in your life and in the lives of others. No, it's not an ego-centric thing – it's a feel-good thing.

Why else are we here if not to make a difference in people's lives in some way shape or form? Regardless of how we each do it, what would your existence mean if you made no impact.

At the end of your life, what would you want people to say about you? Were you a teacher, a scholar, a mentor, a giver, a doer… what?

It doesn't much matter what your life amounts to as long as you believe and know that you used your true gifts and talents to make you and those around you better. No matter what your profession or business, it's important to make a difference.

Truly happy people don't do anything just to make a living – they do everything to make a difference. Now, let's not be naïve – we all need to make a living because we have physical needs in this physical world that need to be met. The bottom line is that regardless of what we do, making a difference in the lives of others is supremely important for having authentic happiness in your life.

Secret #5: Have a Servant's Heart

Sometimes you'll hear people ask "how can I serve you today" which is great except that most have no idea what it means to truly serve others.

Authentic Happiness requires that you have a servant's heart. In other words, no matter what you do, your goal is to serve others. Some people may think that living a life of service is somehow beneath them; however, truly happy and successful people will tell you differently.

In fact, that is the definition of life for happy and successful people… to live a life of service. To have a servant's heart you must always genuinely seek to create and deliver value for others through your gifts and talents.

Secret #6: Be Grateful

So often we forget to give thanks; show appreciation for what we have. No matter how big or small, it is important to show gratitude for all of our blessings. In fact, truly happy people never ever focus on what they don't have, they focus on giving thanks for what they do have.

In the world of authentic happiness, there is no such thing as "have not."

It's quite simple…

You see if the universe is perfect and you are one with the universe, it means that you are also perfect. If you are perfect then it also means that all things around you are perfect and are such to the degree you believe them to be.

This means that whatever you do not have is simply because you have not yet truly believed that it is already yours. Once you come to that realization and believe it wholeheartedly, your desires will manifest automatically.

Showing gratitude is one sure way to improve your belief about your abundance. The law of gratitude says that the more grateful you are for what you have, the more things you get to be grateful for. How amazing!

Secret #7: All Things Are Possible

Truly happy people believe something that most others don't – that all things are possible. YES, all things – no matter what you think or believe – all things are possible in a perfect universe.

Authentic happiness is about believing in infinite possibilities because different things make different people happy. If you only believe in what is possible for you, it will be hard for you to see others as happy especially if they pursue things that you do not believe are possible.

For instance…

I am not about to stick my head in a lion's mouth just to make you gasp in amazement; however, the guy who truly enjoys that is still happy. Why should I see him as anything else just because he's doing something that I believe is impossible for me. That's called projection.

Just because I see no reason or have no ability to do something doesn't mean it is impossible or meaningless. Possibility lies with your belief. Meaning lies with what we see rather than with what we're looking at.

Well, there you have it… 7 Secrets to Authentic Happiness which of course as you may have realized by now aren't so secret. These are all insights that most of us are familiar with; however, we often forget and need a refresher. I know I often do and I am grateful for reminders.

I truly hope that this helps you to be happier in your everyday life.

 

From Dean's Library

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The Audacity of Authenticity

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The Audacity of "Authenticity" is more like a story rather than an article. It is inspired by my experiences over many years as seen through the eyes of an individual constantly in pursuit of personal growth and change.

In my experience, authentic individuals have been way too rare and scarce. To add further injury, so many individuals are completely unaware of their own pretenses or the negative ripple effect it has on others. Some facades have become so embedded in what most consider normal that whenever there is the slightest bit of authenticity injected, some ( too many) perceive this as audacious.

Yes – quite an eye-popper – isn't it?

Authentic leaders are too few and far between and it is the conditioning of the norm that has been the core of this wasteful campaign. It is the societal pressures to be politically correct rather than real; the peer pressure to fit in rather than to simply be you. These are the culprits to which so many of us fall prey and the price is our authenticity.

A major reason why so many "accepted pretenses" run wild and eventually become standard is because they are usually very subtle. To those among us who are unaware, the detriment can prove almost irreversible; to those who are aware but accepting, the detriment is expected but its existence denied. For those of us who are aware or become so through our own personal growth and change, we must endeavor to tip the scale and return the moral balance.

Let's take a deeper look into what I am getting at…

Let's do lunch

I love it when people say this to me upon the conclusion of a meeting; it's even more fun when I call them on it and catch them completely off guard.

Seriously, it's kind of funny BUT not really. This is one of the most widely accepted pretenses which dilute authenticity. After you have said this a few times to people without follow through or accountability, it becomes a bad habit destined to be repeated. What's even worse, the person on the receiving end often expects this gesture to be empty because most of the time – it is.

You'd better believe that if I say let's do lunch, that's what I mean. In fact, I have been known to break out my calendar on the spot to reserve a date. Equally, when such a gesture is made to me, I take it at face value and I do follow up. Sadly, too often in my follow up, I have found that these gestures were in fact empty.

The point is – don't say it unless you really mean it. And furthermore, don't suggest something based on the accepted "canned" response because you think it sounds cool – instead suggest something that you truly believe will create value. Anything less is a waste of time and that's even when all you want to do is "shoot the breeze" and have fun.

Don't get it twisted – no one likes to be pretended to; and whether you are aware of it or not, even the seemingly small pretenses are causing very big problems for you. You may not reap the consequences right away BUT trust me – you will. You may be left wondering why and when you do, remember this story.

I apologize, but…

True authenticity demands that there is no "BUT" following an apology. So often, and I have done this as well, an apology is followed by the justifying "but."

Can it now!

When you apologize, just do it and leave it at that. There is no but to your screw up if you did in fact screw up. Just accept the consequences of your actions. I am not saying that some situations don't warrant giving reasons; however, a lengthy justification as to why you were late for an appointment just isn't necessary. If the bus really broke down then just say that… no need to add "but if I had taken the train, I might have…"

Additionally, don't apologize for your error only to spin it with a "but it's because you didn't…" that's just a backdoor accusation which is insulting. Just think about it for a moment. How can you apologize for something you did wrong by confessing someone else's sins? It doesn't make sense – does it?

In fact, I was talking to friend and colleague once whom I had set an appointment with and forgot to put it on the calendar. When he called me at the appointed time to find out if we were still meeting, I was way across town and there was no way I could get back in time. I had basically double booked myself and got caught with my pants down as they say. What was I supposed to do?

I could have said, "I'm sorry but it's because I forgot to put it in my calendar." Really?

No, I simply said to my friend, "I'm sorry man; forgive me for my poor planning… I feel so bad that I missed our meeting." That was all and then I attempted to reschedule. Later when I spoke to my friend, I reiterated how sorry I was and hoped he'd spare me the pain of hearing him tell me how badly I screwed up. You know what, he did! We moved on quickly as opposed to prolonging the agony with justifications and defensive postures.

I love you too

This one is a biggie when it comes to authenticity. It's so easy to let the words slip right through your lips just because they were said to you. I know that it might hurt the other person if you don't say it back; however, the pain, for both of you, will be a lot worse down the road when the real deal comes to bear.

It simply isn't worth it to say you love someone if you don't truly feel that way. Besides, your actions will tell the real story very soon.

You see, what is important to remember when it comes to love is that it is not a noun BUT rather a verb. Love is not what you say, it's what you do. Saying it should only express what has already been proven through your actions.

This is the core of the Audacity of Authenticity. Your actions must be aligned with what you say – anything less is disingenuous.

I am sure that you can think of many other examples where these "accepted pretenses" are far too prevalent. My story is just to help raise your awareness to this bad habit that we all ought to strive to break.

It is apparent that it is scarce; however, it is also apparent that Authenticity is in great need in our world. Let's aim to be real.

 

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Crisis Leadership

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Leadership can come from all ranks and also in many different forms; however, no leader is complete without the ability to be effective in Crisis Leadership. In my experience I have known many different types of leaders and not all of them were effective during times of crisis.

Typically, most people go into panic mode when crisis hits; they begin running around like a chicken without a head and then the whole crew follows suit. What usually ends up happening in these instances is that everyone appears very busy doing something; however, not doing much that directly influences results or affects a resolution.

The goal of this article then, is to help raise your awareness to what it takes to lead under pressure and provide some successful tips to help you become more effective in your crisis leadership.

The first thing to understand is that it is during times of crisis that it is most important for authentic leaders to show up. Holding steady during harmonious times and then falling to pieces the moment a wheel falls off the bus is not true leadership. Leaders must remain steady and focused on the challenge at hand at all times. And even if you get rattled, which can happen to anyone, it is crucial that you rise above it quickly and not fall apart in front of your team.

Karen Fuss-Zipp, leader of the #1 professional beauty company in the US (statistic good up to the date of this post) and whom I have had the good fortune and pleasure to work with and learn from is just about the coolest character as I have ever seen when it comes to crisis leadership. She is immovable; during times of crisis where others seem to go to pieces – she remains like a rock. Somehow she is able to stay calm, assess the situation, delegate accordingly and produce great results. She is a phenomenal woman in my opinion.

With that said, experience has taught me that there are 7 key characteristics that effective leaders exhibit during times of crisis.

1. Patience

Effective crisis leaders are always the coolest customers in the room. While others are losing it and panicking, crisis leaders are patiently waiting for the dust to settle. The reason they do this is because it will be extremely difficult to extract any useful information while people are in chaos mode – what I refer to as the fire truck way of operating.

One of the best things that you can do when things start to go haywire is allow others to release the initial high intensity and low intelligence emotions so that they are clearer when it's time to act. This doesn't mean that you allow this to continue indefinitely – just long enough for adequate expression.

2. Stabilizer

While others are busy working on the fire truck; effective crisis leaders understand that it is much more beneficial to work on what I refer to as the golf course. This is why they are the quintessential stabilizers. Crisis Leadership requires that you are able to bring some level of stability to the situation before any action is taken towards resolution. Again the main reason for this is to establish clarity of mind among all parties involved.

The most effective stabilizers are able to maintain the proper composure while at the same time convey the certainty of success once the dust clears. They are able to help others bring the high emotions down and raise the level of intelligence by reassuring them that they are the experts in this situation and that they can undoubtedly handle it.

This of course does not mean that you B.S. people; it means that you must know your team members well enough to be authentic in your reassurance. Any attempt to blow smoke and shovel manure will be met with hopelessness and resentment.

The whole point of the stabilizer is to bring calm to a chaotic situation so that you can work more effectively to produce the desired results.

3. Assessor

Once calm has been brought to the situation, effective leaders move quickly to assess it. They understand that the best way to come up with the best solutions is to deduce exactly what has happened and how it happened. To this end, they begin to look to the leaders among the team to find answers.

Depending on the type of situation, effective crisis leaders work on a strict time table during assessment. The more time sensitive the situation the less people they might consult for assessment. They only consult with the most necessary and directly involved individuals in order to maintain the proper focus. When it comes to crisis, it is better to remain as acute as possible to avoid going off on unnecessary tangents.

Furthermore, successful assessment requires that you know exactly whom to talk to and what to talk to them about. Talking to the wrong people about the wrong subjects during times of crisis could be disastrous. The bottom line is that you need to know your people and exactly what their expertise is – this will always add speed and accuracy to the resolution process.

4. Director

Crisis leadership requires that you are astute at directing people and traffic. When others are in panic mode, it's much harder to have clear direction. Effective crisis leaders are able to calmly and clearly convey directives to others in a way that they best understand what they have to do. Additionally, they are able to effectively streamline different processes by establishing clear time tables and an efficient system of checks and balances.

This is the reason it is so important that you know who your team members are and what they are good at. In fact, even if you don't know this information for each individual, as an effective crisis leader you need to know the people that do. At the end of the day, you must have a system whereby you can easily pinpoint the experts and what they do.

This knowledge will be invaluable in helping you delegate the right tasks to the right people in order to achieve the best results. In fact, one of the greatest strengths of effective leaders is developing other leaders. They do not surround themselves with lackeys and "yes men"; they deliberately look for and cultivate leaders.

5. Affirmer

Before releasing others to task, effective crisis leaders always affirm them. They sincerely and authentically believe that the situation can be resolved and they let others know it. They further understand that in order to achieve the best results, it is crucial that those involved are confident in themselves and also in the rest of the team.

Have you ever been truly affirmed by someone else? When you hear someone say "you can do this – I believe in you" – how does it make you feel?

If it's authentic, I guarantee you that you feel better and more confident almost instantly. Especially in times of crisis, people need to feel confident – they need to believe it is going to be ok. They need real hope in order to bring out the best in them.

The fact of the matter is that whether you are dealing with a crisis or not, it is supremely important to affirm others. This is a key element in building others and helping them to see themselves in a better light.

6. Appreciator

All effective leaders show appreciation of their team at all times. During times of crisis it is even more important. An authentic show of gratitude goes a long way in building others and giving hope to many more. The ripple effect of showing true gratitude for someone else has infinite implications and impact that is beyond your imagination. The law of gratitude says that the more you appreciate what you have, the more you get to appreciate. This means that the opposite is also true; the more you take for granted, the more you lose.

This is why it is so important to recognize people for the talents they bring to the table. Let them know that you are truly grateful for their contribution and that they have true value. Again, don't just make stuff up; be genuine about it – this is what will make the difference. The impact will undoubtedly be profound and positive.

7. Listener

Without this characteristic, it will be extremely difficult for you to fully realize the other 6. All effective leaders know that it is vital that they seek wise and qualified council at all times and that it is even more important to do so in times of crisis.

Crisis leadership requires that you listen closely and with a genuine open mind. As one of my great mentors always says "the intelligence is in the room."

This means that you look to the experts on your team and in your network when you are facing tough situations. The downfall of many leaders is often pride and ego; they begin to think that they are above the people rather than with the people. Effective leaders know that in order to lead people effectively they must stand with them and not above them.

When ego leads, teams fall apart; when humility leads, teams synergize. There is no way around it – this how the natural law works. As one of my other great mentors puts it, "EGO stands for edges greatness out."

Just remember that all effective leaders are great listeners. They deliberately seek out wise and qualified council in order to help them achieve the best results. In times of crisis, it is even more important to truly listen.

Developing these 7 characteristics will undoubtedly help you become much more effective in your crisis leadership. Even at times when your emotions run high, with these characteristics engrained within you – you will be able to evaluate and act more quickly.

 

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Barriers to Effective Communication

Effective Communication is a skill that is essential to your success; it can often mean the difference between success and failure in any endeavor. So many projects, in my experience, have fallen to pieces because of poor communication.

This website is filled with many articles that cover various aspects of communication; however, the goal of this article is to address specifically some significant and common barriers to effective communication.

We all communicate in many ways; even at times when we do not realize we are, we're still communicating. The 4 main forms of communication are reading, writing, speaking and listening. Of course, there are many factors that go into the elements that hinder these efforts. We spend more than 75% of our waking hours doing one or a combination of these methods of communicating. This is the reason it is so important to understand the main impediments to your efforts.

Following are 4 key things that most individuals fail to understand which in turn hinders their communication efforts.

1. How to communicate

Most people often do not know how to communicate or were not taught how to do so. This can take many avenues in ignorance such as which medium to use. Sometimes the efficacy of your message could fizzle depending on what medium you choose to convey it. In other words, some things are better said in person rather than via phone or e-mail. Depending on the nature of your message, you have to discern the best method.

Furthermore, may people communicate from a standpoint of ego; they want to be the one who knows the most so they either communicate in part or deliberately withhold pertinent information that would better serve the whole. This way of presenting you message focuses on ego whereby the initiator not only wants to seem more important than he/she is but also shield himself/herself from looking foolish.

The point is that the way you communicate effectively is by being genuine and forthcoming. You endeavor to remove ego and put others first instead of yourself. Realize that it isn't about you; it is about the recipient(s) and it is for them to get the message.

2. Why you communicate

This might seem simple; however, it is almost always overlooked in the fine art of communication. It is important to understand why you are writing/saying what you are or reading/listening to what you are. Unless you know why, maintaining and/or obtaining any significant level of commitment on any call-to-action will be extremely difficult.

The "why" is the fuel for passion and focus which can make your message significantly more effective than it otherwise would be. The bottom line is that if you don't know why you are doing something, you are either satisfied with being a lamb led to slaughter, simply upholding the status quo and accepting mediocrity or you lack your own voice. In any case, it amounts to the same thing, confusion and disarray among the ranks.

3. From where you communicate

This is an element that escapes most; they do not understand just how crucial this is in communicating effectively. One of the most important elements of communication is authenticity. The fact is that if you are not 100% genuine in your communication, the response you get will be likewise.

In other words as one of my great teachers puts it, "Communication is the response you get."

This is to say that you should always communicate from the heart guided by your conscience – your spirit. This makes it easier to take responsibility for what you write and say because you believe it to be true and righteous at your core. It doesn't mean that you have to think this deeply at every exchange – just that you are aware that unless you are authentic, any response you receive will be likewise tainted. Even if you get what you want in the short-run, you most certainly will not be able to sustain it in the long-run.

4. When to communicate

This is as crucial an element as any of the others and in many cases, the most crucial of all. I will simply go with another one of my great teachers' analogy.

Francis Cole Jones, author of the bestseller How To Wow recommends the H.A.L.T. method of knowing when to communicate. The acronym basically means, refrain from communicating when in any of the following 4 states:

• Hungry
• Angry
• Lazy, or
• Tired

The point is that in any of these states, you are much less equipped with the wherewithal to communicate effectively. In these states you are more liable to write or say something that you'll regret later – sometimes immediately after release. Ever had one of those moments?

Furthermore, you certainly will not be in any condition to read or listen; hence you will be less likely to grasp the real and full message.

Additionally, it is important to know when to simply listen without responding. Most people still don't understand that listen is a method of communicating and sometimes that's all you need do. In fact, unless you are dealing with a child, people will most often give you queues or outright permission to offer advice or opinion. So, unless you are the initiator, listening without response is ok unless you are invited to do so. This is a good rule of thumb.

Once you have understood these hindrances, it will be easier for you to overcome the barriers to effective communication.

 

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Personal Growth Quotes

The following is a list of some of my most popular posts ever to Facebook and Twitter. I have also used these quotes in my various articles on this website. These personal growth quotes are a collection of insights from my tremendous mentors, experiences and overall lessons in personal change that I have discovered.

The purpose of this article is to officially release use of these quotes to the public. This is not for self promotion but simply for the widest range of impact. As it states in my mission statement, I want to help as many people as possible realize their true gifts and talents so that they can achieve their dreams and goals. This is the sole purpose for this official release.

At times that I have used the quotes, I have always found them to be beneficial not only to me but also to others who have heard them. It is not because they are so fantastic that they immediately change lives – it is simply because these are authentic words that stem from real life. They resonate with others deeply because the examples in their lives come screaming to the surface when they hear or read these words.

Whether or not you choose to use these personal growth quotes is completely up to you; however, this ensures that you will have a mini-archive from which to pull.

I have only one request – if you do choose to use any of these quotes that you give the proper credit for the contribution. I ask that you always show my full name like this: Dean L. Forbes.

I have also specified where the quote comes directly from another source and I ask that you give credit to the proper sources in these instances.

You need not do anything else; no need to ask permission or anything else. This article is an official document granting permission to you to use these quotes in whatever forum you deem fit and/or necessary. I am confident that you won't misuse these words. There will be no backlash from me for any reason.

Just please be mindful that these words should not be taken lightly or used loosely – they are extremely powerful when embodied and understood fully. They can even be powerful daily mantras for life – just things that you repeat to yourself as a reminder.

Following are 22 powerful personal growth quotes that can impact your life and the lives of those you know and connect with.

1. Proactive people are not driven by what happens to them but by the things they make happen.


2. Proactive people always affect changes; reactive people are always affected by changes.


3. Managers do things right, leaders do the right things. - Author Unknown


4. To neither know who you are nor where you are going is to be like a frozen river on the hottest day of summer; to know who you are but not where you are going is to be like a still river with no ebb and flow, but; to know yourself and where you are going is to be like the universal river that brings all dreams to fruition.


5. To simply be the victor in 100 conflicts or negotiations is not the pinnacle of skill or the true essence of humanity; however, to persuade your opponent to sit on the same side as you, to nurture differences and transcend conflict - this is the pinnacle of skill and the true essence of humanity.


6. Confidence lies in your preparation; the possibility of success lies in your execution.


7. For you to achieve the success you desire, you must first visualize the finish line, believe that it is already yours and then proclaim it confidently.


8. Unsuccessful individuals go forth blindly and then seek to win while truly successful individuals win first and then go forth in victorious clarity.


9. In order to consistently achieve your goals, one method can be to adapt the mindset of doomed soldiers. "Confront them with annihilation, and they will then survive; plunge them into a deadly situation, and they will then live. When people fall into danger, they are then able to strive for victory." – Sun Tzu


10. If you plan, prepare and expect to win, look at every failure as an opportunity to increase your knowledge, choose change over stagnation, you will never know defeat.


11. To lack vision and take no action is the way you guarantee failure; to walk the path before you visualize the end is the way to guarantee turmoil; to visualize the end before you walk the path is the way to guarantee true success.


12. Although it might seem easier to tear others down rather than build them up, you must understand that you cannot successfully build up yourself unless you build others. Any power you perceive from tearing others down is an illusion created by the glass-made ground upon which you walk and it will inevitably shatter and cause disarray in your endeavors.


13. If you are not overwhelmed with degrees and accolades, it is not because you have an aversion for success; if you are not well endowed in your wallets and purses, it is not because you have distaste for riches; and if your life is not excessively long, it is not because you do not desire longevity.


14. To consistently complain about what your plights are and do nothing about them is to live like the sole of a shoe on the foot of a growing giant.


15. To consistently claim that you have no choice is in itself a choice to remain ignorant, thus you lack vision; to constantly complain about the drugs, sex and violence on your television while watching without fail is the pinnacle of hypocrisy; to tell others they can't because you believe that you can't is the most despicable of disservice, thus you lack hope; to claim benevolence while you do nothing to overcome malevolence is the summit of evil; to be without care for none of these is to usher in self-destruction.


16. To understand a man's station in life, you only need examine his choices.


17. Your name rings a lot more bells a lot louder when someone other than you sings your praises.


18. Those who live in fear sit on a bubble; those who face their fears stand on solid ground.


19. Those who've reached their full potential are consumed with ego; those who consistently pursue their full potential grow humble and wise.


20. Your success and true happiness is not measured by the deeds to your properties but by the properties of your deeds.


21. Those who ask questions are seekers of knowledge and agents of change; those who do not are enforcers of ignorance and agents of stagnation.


22. Those who hoard knowledge seek to control and spread tyranny; those who share knowledge seek to uplift and spread equality.

From time to time, I will continue to update you with more powerful insights and personal growth quotes so don't forget to stay in the loop by bookmarking this site and signing up for our Free Newsletter.

 

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How to Develop Your Personal Approach

Personal Approach is a term often thrown around quite loosely without understanding its true meaning. The fact is that the way you relate to others has everything to do with your personal brand. Sure, it is absolutely important that you treat others the way you would like them to treat you; however, it doesn't mean that you should act like a robot. Simply regurgitating what you've learned in the voice of others makes you dull and boring. It is imperative that in your approach with others that you remain authentic.

Your unique brand is the only way to set yourself apart from others – put you in your own space that only you can occupy. The goal of this article is to help raise your awareness to 3 keys that will help you to develop and cultivate your personal approach.

Essentially, truly successful individuals understand that the way we relate to others is crucial to our personal growth and development. In that vein, they make it a point to hone in on their unique personality traits and then endeavor to develop them fully into strengths that increase their influence among their peers and beyond.

The main element that most people miss when it comes to developing their unique brand is in how they learn. It will be difficult to improve the way you relate to others if you do not know your learning style.

I can see the surprise looks on your faces now… where's he going with this?

Well, I'll tell you – it's simple really.

In order o improve in how you relate to others and increase your area of influence; it is vital that you are able to constantly increase your awareness. Increasing your awareness helps you to gain greater understanding of and insight into not only yourself, but others as well. The more you know about individuals, the more impactful the choices you make that add value to their lives.

With that said, since increasing your awareness is crucial, it stands to reason then that understanding your learning style would be equally crucial. To the degree that you understand how best you learn, the easier it will be for you to increase your awareness – the more aware you are, the better you can hone your personal approach.

There are 3 different learning styles and within them lie the 3 keys where your focus needs to be in order to improve in the way you relate to others.

Audio

Many people are audio learners. This simply means that these individuals only need to hear sound in order to grasp the message. They do not need notes or have the need to touch and play with materials in order to understand it.

When you are an audio learner, it is important then for you to always listen actively to others. The more you can focus on improving your listening skills, the easier it becomes for you to increase your area of influence. This is because you will be able to have greater impact through developing your listening skills; anyone would; however, it is certainly most important for the audio learner.

Visual

The visual learner needs to see what you are talking about in order to grasp the message. Simply hearing what is being said is not enough; for the visual learner, presentations, body language and facial expressions become extremely important.

When you are a visual learner, it is important that you are always looking for clues. You need to be sure that you see things before you act on them. As a visual learner, your level of awareness and clarity goes up tenfold when you are able to look at an example.

Kinesthetic

The third type of learner is a kinesthetic learner; these types of individuals need to touch and play with materials in order to fully grasp the message. Workshops and face to face conversations are excellent for these types of learners.

As it relates to improving your area of influence with others, it is essential for the kinesthetic learner to have a lot of interaction. The more interactivity – the better.

So, where was I going with this?

Right – I remember.

Evaluating the way you learn will help you tremendously in improving your personal approach. Once you increase your awareness about your learning style, it not only arms you with what to do but also how to convey what you need to others. The more effective you are at communicating your needs to others, the more impactful the results you will achieve.

The bottom line is that understanding these elements will go a long way in helping you improve in the way you relate to others.

 

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Killer Series: 7 Steps to Killer Networking Skills

Networking has long been one of the most important things you can do to increase your visibility and influence. Individuals who have developed strong networks tend to almost always get ahead faster and more efficiently than those who do not.

Sure, it takes more than a strong network to achieve at high levels; however, a strong network provides a lot more opportunities for you to make your mark. In fact, while book-smarts can often be very important in your success – it is much more difficult to hit your goals without a strong network. On the other hand, if you have a strong network – you can succeed at the highest levels even without book-smarts. That, I guess, makes Killer Networking more like street-smarts.

In my experience, having a strong network has proven to be one of the most crucial elements in my successes. In fact, I give great credit to where I am now to the incredible network that I have been able to develop and continue to cultivate. A very significant part of my pursuit of personal growth and excellence includes killer networking. Developing this skill, I believe, is absolutely necessary for you to achieve at the highest levels.

Following are the 7 steps to killer networking skills that once mastered will undoubtedly help you improve in your personal growth and rapidly move the needle closer to your goals.

1. Be proactive

The first rule of thumb in networking is that you have to do something; nothing happens unless you make it happen. Sitting around and hoping that you get the opportunity to meet the right people at the right time is a fool's folly.

In fact, the very core of networking is that you are constantly in the mode of connecting with others. If you are not moving towards others, you're not truly seeking to expand your circle.

To be proactive as a skilled networker means that you understand that you are 100% responsible for taking the steps necessary to make meaningful connections. Individuals with highly developed skills in this art are always seeking to collaborate with others who are going somewhere – adding value – doing things that make a difference.

So in a nutshell – get off your ass-ets and do something. 

2. Study the landscape

While you are being proactive, it is crucially important to know with whom you are dealing. Whenever you seek to network with others, it is important that you understand who they are and what they are about. Simply stepping into the arena and not know your audience almost always proves to be an amateur's move.

Studying the landscape will ensure that you know just what makes the people you seek to connect with tick. At the very least, you should understand their interests and know their accomplishments. Also, it is a very good idea to look for commonalities either in personality or experiences. The bottom line is it can only help you if you can decipher different ways you can actually connect with others in a meaningful way.

When I say study the landscape – I don't mean for manipulative purposes. What I mean is that once you know your audience, you can find truly authentic and more impactful ways of making a connection.

Killer networkers are avid researchers; they are constantly looking for common ground on which to play with others. The fact is that they understand that the more relative and level you can make the playing field, the greater your chances of hitting a home run in the networking arena.

So, do your homework before you dive into the pond to play with the big fishes.

3. Act with purpose

When it comes to networking, Killer Networkers only move with a mission. They know precisely these 4 things:

1. What they are going to do
2. Why they are going to do it
3. How they are going to do it
4. When they are going to do it

There are no accidents in the purpose-driven life of killer networkers. Acting with purpose means that unless you have a plan for the connection you seek to make – you don't move on it.

Certainly, there are times when things will happen spontaneously; however, these moments are the exception and not the rule. At times like that you simply act in a manner that feels right to you and live with the consequences of your actions. Besides, you're not simply giving to get – you're just being a good human being.

So, don't move unless you can answer the 4 questions above and then put some pep in your step.

4. Seek to help

This is one the most missed principle in the art of killer networking. Killer networkers truly believe in helping others. In fact, it is the nucleus of why they network in the first place. Sure, there is a very public agenda to advance in your own dreams and goals; however, there is a clear understanding of how powerful it is when you simply help others achieve their dreams and goals.

Killer Networking requires that you genuinely seek to help others. That means that you deliberately seek to understand the desires of others and then apply your true gifts and talents to help them achieve the results they desire.

Most people, when they attend a networking event, go with one purpose – to hand out as many business cards as possible and talk about how great they are. This is utterly useless – not to mention obnoxious. Does anyone else find this person or annoying or is it just me?

If you truly want to improve your networking skills – take it to the highest level – seek to genuinely help others achieve their dreams and goals. Find ways to be of great value to others and they will never forget you for that. In fact, they will automatically become your biggest cheerleaders.

The networkers who only talk about themselves and their perceived greatness come off as the type who don't need cheerleaders because they've already got it all. No one needs to talk about these people because according to them they are all set – NOT!

So, remember, killer networkers truly seek to help others achieve their dreams and goals.

5. Keep your word

This is so important! The truth is this is not only the quickest and most effective way to grow your influence – not doing it is the quickest way to shrink your circle. All killer networkers know that it is imperative that they keep their word.

If you say that you are going to do something – do it. Don't over exaggerate your influence and be sure to under-promote and then over-deliver. When you keep your word, you deposit into the truest bank account. The more deposits you make the more willing others become to help you out when you need it. Again, the more trustworthy you are the more cheerleaders you are going to have and the faster your network explodes.

When you develop a circle of trust around you in your network; other people clamor to get into it. Your word is your bond – it means everything. If you can't keep your word, you might as well quit networking right now because all your efforts will be in futility.

Just think about how you feel when others don't deliver on what they say they will. Do you continue a fruitful relationship with such individuals or entities? Of course not – even on a second chance to make good, we move very cautiously.

So, keep your word and watch your network explode beyond your wildest dreams.

6. Stay in touch

One of the most important things you can do to maintain your network is to stay in touch on a regular basis. This takes effort and commitment and you must be willing to do it in order to yield the best results.

Killer networkers are masters at follow up and staying in touch. Often times they tend to call unexpectedly but somehow right at the most needed times. So often I call people where they say to me "Dean, I am so glad you called me today. I really needed to hear that."

Not only does that feel really great to hear that you were able to make somebody's day but also, people remember these moments forever. They never forget what you did.

For instance, one of my great mentors has a wife that suffered a heart attack and stroke. Of course this was an extremely difficult time for him. Now I don't know what his health plan is like but I do know it's the best of the best just because of whom he is and where he works.

With that said, I could just see the toll this was taking on him and I could only imagine what his wife was going through. I didn't really know if or how I could help him through this – I only know that I felt compelled to do something.

I didn't care about what he could and might do for me – I just really wanted to help. In that vein, I decided to send him an e-mail that outlined an alternative health care regimen for individuals who suffer heart attacks and strokes. It cost me nothing but a little time since I am a member of Natural Cures.com. I simply went to the website – looked up the info and sent it to him.

Needless to say, he has never forgotten this gesture nor do I think he ever will. The bottom line is he is one of my biggest cheerleaders and if I ever need anything at all, all I have to do is pick up the phone.

Now, you might think to yourself that this was a calculated move; however, authenticity is key in these situations. Our family truly does strive to live an organic, process-free life and we are constantly looking for alternative health regimens. What I sent to my mentor was literally a piece of my own life – it's how I care for my family.

The point is that regardless of what anyone might think – my gesture was genuine and he knows it. That is all that matters.

So, I realize that staying in touch and seeking to help could almost be one topic; however, it is important to understand that by staying in touch you get more chances to find genuine ways to help others. This is the quest of all killer networkers.

7. Ask for help

Of course, there is really no use having a vast network if you can't lean on them to help you achieve your own dreams and goals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

It is only wrong when you use others to achieve your ends. In other words, if you only reach out to people for what they can do for you – that's called using. On the other hand, if you truly reach out to others to help them, there is no shame in asking for help when you need it.

As a matter of fact, all killer networkers understand one very crucial thing about networking – you can't do it alone. Independence only yields good results; however, the greatest results are achieved through collaboration – synergy.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you truly need it. Other people feel empowered and more confident when you seek out their help. You can do a lot for others in helping them achieve significant strides in their own personal growth by simply reaching out to them for help.

While you should never look outwardly for validation – it is always nice to be recognized for your true gifts and talents. When you ask others for help, it is another way of affirming their unique gifts. It is a great way to say that I appreciate you and I need your help to achieve my goals.

So, don't forget to ask for help when you truly need it – no one will be mad at you for that as long as you remain genuine.

Master these 7 steps and you will undoubtedly catapult your networking skills to heights unimagined. Killer Networkers know and practice these 7 religiously and the results they achieve are the proof in the pudding.

 

  

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