Dean L. Forbes

How to Overcome Stagnation

Ever feel stuck – like you’re going nowhere in life? Ever felt like everyone and everything is just passing you by? Does it make you feel powerless? 

Many, if not all, of us have had this feeling at some point in our lives; this is often referred to as Stagnation. It is what happens when you reach a point in your life where you feel unsure of what you want to do and where you want to go. As a result, you don’t move at all – neither backwards nor forwards. Needless to say, this can be quite frustrating and dejecting. 

The BIG question is what you do about it when it happens. How do you overcome Stagnation? 

If you’ve ever felt stuck, this article will help to raise your awareness to the symptoms and provide some valuable insights of how you can beat this success-debilitating disease.

 

Symptoms of stagnation

• Lack of focus – this is one of the first conditions that strike when stagnation sets in; you lose your center and begin to feel scattered in your thoughts. You no longer have a grasp of what you are doing or where you are going; your goal seems far away and blurry. 

• Indecisiveness – with lack of focus there is always indecision and confusion; every choice seems way too risky or impossible. You are unable to make good decisions because you don’t even know what your target is.

• Doubt – this is a major roadblock in any success plan; when you lack belief, it’s very difficult to achieve the results you desire. If you do not possess the confidence to move forward, you will be unable to accomplish your goals. Doubt can easily paralyze you.

• Hopelessness – where there is doubt, soon follows the lack of hope for the future. Stagnation demands that you are devoid of all hope of success – no aspiration for something greater than yourself. 

• Cynicism – all these symptoms breed negativity in a BIG way. When you are stagnant, it is easy to start believing that good things only happen to certain people but not to you. It also makes you skeptical of everyone else’s success; it makes you feel like only the lucky ones get the prize but poor saps like you get royally screwed by everyone and everything.

• Depression – ultimately, once you’re experiencing all the above, you tend to be down way more often than you’re up. You lack the energy and the desire to do anything progressive. Depression makes you feel like you don’t even want to bother trying. This is the ultimate success killer and it can really take you down if you are unaware of its presence. It can happen in mini bouts; these are the ones you have to be very careful of. 

You may see these symptoms categorized differently but these are basically the 6 major ones to be aware of. Once you understand the symptoms of stagnation, it will be easier for you to recognize when it is happening to you. This way, you can put a stop to it sooner rather than later – or before it is too late. 

How about a cure for this terrible affliction? 

My experience is that there are basically 5 ways you can overcome stagnation. Any one or a combination of these valuable practices will help alleviate your stuck-ness.

 

1.    Re-evaluate your core values

When stagnation sets in, one of the first things you should do is make sure that your core values are in tact. This is a good time to review your principles – the way you live your life. Make sure that the values you live by are still the ones you want to continue living by. 

More importantly, make sure that you have been living a life that is in line with your core values. More often than not, your core values are in good shape; however, the way you have been living may have fallen out of line. 

Be honest with yourself; look hard at the choices that you’ve made. Remember that you have what you have and you are where you are because of the choices that you’ve made. The reason to study this is to pinpoint those choices that were made without consulting your blueprint – your core values. 

We’ve all made decisions like this one – I know I have. It is usually the emotional and impulsive decisions. The point of this exercise is to understand that you made these choices and that you can live with the consequences. Furthermore, you can learn from the outcome of those choices. That is why we make mistakes – so we can learn and grow from them. 

The fact is that if you make it a point to re-evaluate your core values from time to time; you can possibly ward off stagnation all together.

 

2.  Redefine your mission

Another step to overcoming stagnation is to redefine your mission. Often times we hit roadblocks because we lose sight of the goal. Somewhere along the way to the target, we fall off track. This is perfectly normal – you can’t predict every occurrence; however, you can be prepared for anything by being proactive. 

Review your mission to make sure that it is still what you want to achieve. Make sure that your intent is in line with that mission. Sometimes our intent changes on the journey; something else becomes more important than the mission you started out to accomplish. That is also ok – just make sure that your mission still lights a fire in your belly. 

Your mission defines the goal and drives the actions you must take to achieve it. If this is not crystal clear then your actions will be equally muddled. It will be difficult for you to achieve the results you desire if you are not absolutely certain about your intent.

 

3.  Change your mission

If you attempt to redefine your mission and find that it is no longer what you desire; perhaps it’s time to consider changing it. This is often difficult for people to do because they view it as starting over. 

The main thing to realize in this case is that changing your mission is moving forward and not backward. Whenever you move on to something new and especially if it’s better – this is making progress. Sometimes in order to achieve our goals, we have to completely change our mission. 

This goes back to the scenario of something else becoming more important than the mission you initially set out to accomplish. Remember that sometimes, it takes one road to lead you to the road of your true purpose. It’s ok for one mission to run its course in your life so that you can embark on a newer and greater challenge. 

There was a time in my life when all I wanted to be was a rapper/producer and I was heavily involved in the music industry. I truly loved what I was doing. After that I discovered my love for public speaking and ultimately creating this blog which led me to my true purpose in life. My mission has changed a few times; however, my ultimate goal has always been to help others grow; to find their voice. I have sought to do that in all my roles thus far and this is what I truly enjoy. 

I hope that made the point for you.

 

4.  Change your circle

Many times, the people we choose to hang out with is the reason we feel held back; causing stagnation in our lives. This is definitely a hard one; however, sometimes you just have to change your circle. 

In some cases it could simply mean that you change the way you interact with someone. In others, though it may seem harsh, it may be time to end the relationship all together. This is especially difficult when you truly like or love someone. My experience is that although this is hard, when the choice is made for the right reasons with the right intent, it has always been worth it. 

I have been here a couple of times so I appreciate the emotional difficulty of this situation – I truly empathize. 

The point is that there are times in our lives when our friends are not moving in the same direction we are and in order to achieve our goals, we simply have to go our own way. Stagnation often envelops the people you are most often with. If your choices are often tied to your circle, make sure your circle is aligned with your true desires otherwise you will have to move on at some point if you want to cure your stagnation.

 

5.  Take a different route

Detour ahead… sometimes it is as simple as taking that left turn at Albuquerque. (If you didn’t get that… go watch Bugs Bunny) 

Sometimes the cure for stagnation is simply to go in a different direction. Perhaps the way you’ve been going has too many roadblocks and you may just need to turn left instead of right. Many times, this opens up new avenues of pursuit that propel you to your goal. 

There is no rule that says you can’t change route mid-stride; it is your journey and you can get to your destination any way you choose. The path of least resistance is always best, just ask Deepak Chopra. 

The point is when life throws you a curve; you should take it because if you keep going straight you’ll probably crash into something solid like a brick wall. 

Seriously, don’t be afraid to change directions; another route may be the thing you need to get you out of the mud. 

Now that you know the cure… what are you going to do about it?

Share

Discover successful habits that allow you to discover, master and unleash your remarkable untapped human potential through the Powerful Principles of Personal Growth Newsletter.

10 Significant Reasons to Quit Your Job

As of the publishing of this article, I have been working with the same company for 6 years. At the time I joined this particular firm, it was my first taste of the beauty industry career wise. I admit that when I first took the position, I was a bit reticent about where it might lead. I had even thought it was going to be a quick pit stop until the next BIG move. 

To my surprise and good fortune, I discovered something I never thought I would; I discovered what it truly meant to be passionate about what you do. I was reminded of how I once felt about music when I used to be a rapper/producer years before. The individuals that I have met, connected with and come to know so well while working at this firm are some of the most passionate and hardworking individuals on the planet. 

I don’t know if it’s just the firm I work for, but my experience so far in this industry has been an awesome ride. I learned the most about myself during this time; I have grown tremendously in so many ways because of the exposure I have received. I am naturally a driven person; however, this is the place where I realized my true purpose in life. Perhaps I would have discovered it anyway – who knows? What I do know is that in this place, I not only found a career I enjoy, I also found and began pursuing the reason I am here on this physical plain. 

All of this is to say that, there are so many things that are important factors in having a successful career, finding your true purpose and making sure that you are fulfilled. This is what leads me to the title of this article. 

Following are 10 significant reasons why I believe YOU should quit your job. Bear in mind that this is subjective and strictly based on my experience. In my view, if any of these situations or conditions exist in your job, succeeding at it will be extremely difficult. 

Now don’t all go telling off your bosses just because I may strike a nerve – be strategic – not foolish. 

In no particular order, these are 10 significant reasons to quit your job.

 

  1.   You are bored to death

If you are bored to death, your job is basically a dead zone. You will be completely unmotivated and your performance will be lack-luster. Boring jobs are for boring people – they actually enjoy it. Unless you are happy being boring, keeping a boring job is just asinine.

 

 2.   You do meaningless work

If what you do means nothing to others and worse – nothing to you; you may as well just do nothing at all. What is the point of showing up everyday to a job that means nothing – one that adds no value to others and leaves you unfulfilled? 

I don’t know about you but if I don’t feel like what I do matters; I don’t want to do it. Something must be severely wrong if I am doing something day in and day out and yet no value is created for anyone – except maybe the guy signing my paychecks. For me, that’s not enough – how about you? 

Meaningless work is for meaningless people; it is for those who have accepted that their fate has already been decided and they are just going through the motions. Continuing to do meaningless work is selfish, callous and just plain un-cool. 
  

 3.   You dislike your co-workers

This can be sad, intense, depressing and dangerous all at once. This type of environment completely kills teamwork and stifles creativity. When you don’t like the people you work with, you spend more time covering your ass than you do making a difference. 

Part of the motto of the team I currently work with is less C.Y.A. and more C.E.O. Translation – less time on Covering Your Ass and more time on Covering Each Other. 

Life throws you enough curve balls; you don’t need to be watching your back at work. Worst of all, you really don’t need to get caught up in unproductive beefs and disputes with your co-workers. This can only breed resentment and cause spiteful and vindictive behavior. If you don’t like your co-workers and they don’t like you – it’s time to go.

 

 4.   You don’t respect your boss

It will be tough to move ahead in your job if you don’t respect your boss. Additionally, how can you learn anything of value from someone you don’t respect? 

It should go without saying that whether you like your boss or not – it's better if you can respect him/her. Of course, I have always found it difficult to respect someone that I don’t like – the two seem to go hand in hand. 

In any case, respect for your boss is crucial for success in your position; if you work in a corporate structure that has a chain of command, your boss needs to be your biggest cheerleader. If he/she isn’t, you’ll be hard-pressed to get ahead. 

You could try circumvention; however, unless the brass thinks of your boss as a complete moron, your tactic will backfire quickly. YOU LOSE! I won’t say that respect for your boss is a must but it sure keeps the wheels greasy for you if you do. 
  

 5.   Limits professional growth

This could be tricky, especially if you are not clear on what you want professionally. In order to understand this, you must first understand where you want to take your professional life. Once you do that, it is up to you to steer it in the right direction. Where you work should serve as the vehicle to help you do that. If it is not doing that, you either need to change course or move on. 

Be careful when analyzing this factor; make sure that you are making the right move for the right reasons. Don’t make rash decisions that can hurt you later. Think it through and in the end just do what’s true for you and learn to live with the consequences.

 

 6.   Limits personal growth

One of the things I love most about the firm where I work is that they aspire to encourage personal growth and development at all levels. The company really does believe in the individual growth of others because they understand that this makes people feel better and perform better. 

If you are unable to achieve any personal growth because of the job you have, that is a reason to quit. Frankly, it will be hard for you to achieve any level of real success if you are not growing as a person. It is through your creativity, tenacity and pro-activity that you will grow. Your personal growth is vital to this process; if you can’t see that, you’re in for a long and miserable ride at work. 
  

 7.   You lack the latitude to make changes

If you can’t change anything then why are you there? Change can come from anywhere and from all ranks. The only thing that matters is that the change is positive and for the good of those you work with and serve. Nothing is more important that the way you change and grow no matter what you do. 

If your creativity is suppressed; if your ingenuity is unappreciated and your true gifts are irrelevant to what you do, then what purpose do you ultimately serve? You may as well be a slave or indentured servant because you are only doing someone else’s bidding for someone else’s purpose to meet someone else’s ends. 

I can tell you from experience that it feels totally fulfilling when your gifts are not only recognized but encouraged. I feel it every day doing what I do. The best part of what I do is that I get to utilize all my true gifts to bring value to those I work with and those I serve. 

Change is good – change is growth – we all need it.

 

8.   You are unhappy with what you do

If you are unhappy with what you do, why do you do it? This cannot be an easy road. Ok, I am not naïve – I know that there are times we do things because we need to make ends meet. I totally get that – who hasn’t done that? You take a job just to make some extra money to do a few things. 

That being said, who said you had to be stuck with that? Even if you are currently in a job you hate, you don’t have to stay in it forever. Whether you believe it or not, you do have a choice – you can choose to change it. The question is – are you willing to do what you need to do to change your fate? 

Unfortunately, most people are not so instead, they convince themselves that they have no choice. The truth is that saying you have no choice is choice to do nothing and accept mediocrity. See, you do have a choice. 
  

 9.   You’ve discovered your true purpose in life

While you may have a job that you like, it certainly doesn’t trump true purpose. Also, the job you have may lead you to your true purpose in life and then you only have to transition into it. 

Life changes and evolves every day so if you discover your true purpose in life, it is your responsibility to share it with the world. It is your responsibility to make a difference in other people’s lives. The only people who don’t want to make a difference are those who would rather be fear-driven than to take right action. True heroes are not afraid to do what they were meant to do – they certainly have fears – however, right action trumps fear every time. 

Unless the job you have allows you to pursue and/or fulfill your true purpose in life, it is definitely time to quit.

 

10.   It’s just a job

The other factors don’t even matter as much until you are clear on one thing. The title of this article is “10 Significant Reasons to Quit Your Job.” The point of that is to say that, if it’s just a stinking job; it’s not a career – not a purpose.                    

Jobs are for mindless minions – and if you’re not a mindless minion, the only other reason to simply have a job is to pay your bills while you pursue your real goal. College students have jobs; people in pursuit of a dream have jobs. For the smart and happy people who have their paychecks signed by someone else, they have careers. A career is way different than a job. Careers have growth potential; careers matter – they add value and they are usually fulfilling to some degree. 

If you just have a job and no dream; no aspirations to be a part of something greater than yourself – by all means keep your job. You are a mindless minion and though it’s kind of sad – you are indeed necessary. We need you mindless minions to help the few leaders understand what not to aspire to. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it is the truth. It’s time we stop sugar-coating the truth and just come out and say it like it really is. If you serve no purpose on this plain, what the hell good are you? 
 

Just to wrap this up…

There will be many who will want to stake me to the cross for this post and there will be others who will suddenly become keenly aware. Either way, I have accepted the consequences and I am willing to live with what comes. 

That being said, don’t run out after reading this and run amuck at your job. This article is simply meant to make you think about your life and your purpose. It is a wake up call of sorts; one designed to help you see some things that may have escaped you before. 

If you make any decisions about your professional growth, just remember to think your actions through. Be strategic and plan every move before you make it. Don’t tell your boss where to stick it unless you’ve got someplace better to go. In fact, even if you do have someplace better to go – don’t burn any bridges while you do it. You never know when you may need to cross that bridge again. So as they say “let bygones be bygones”; let whatever grievances you have be “water under the bridge.” This way the bridge remains in tact should you need it again.  

Well there they are; Dean’s 10 significant reasons to quit your job. Send me your 10 at: dean@deanlforbes.com. We’ll have a good laugh. 
 

Share 

Discover successful habits that allow you to discover, master and unleash your remarkable untapped human potential through the Powerful Principles of Personal Growth Newsletter.

 

How to Develop and Cultivate Authentic Leadership

If you are not a leader and do not have any interest in becoming one – STOP NOW – don’t bother reading one more word of this article. It would be absolutely pointless since you won’t benefit and neither will anyone else because you’re content with being ordinary. 

Are you still there? 

Awesome – that makes you extraordinary – for sticking around that is. 

Authentic leadership is a quality that is far too scarce; not enough of us are willing to participate in something greater than ourselves. This is probably because the road isn’t always easy and the price is steep. The commitment necessary to facilitate the emergence of authentic leadership is not something most are willing to accept. 

For the few who are and do, the goal of this article is to provide insights that can undoubtedly help you develop and cultivate authentic leadership. I will share with you what I have learned from some of the finest minds of the last half century; from my experience and many incredible mentors.

 

What is Authentic Leadership?

Authentic Leadership requires that you be the epitome of the changes you want to see in the world. It is leading others by example, doing the right things while exercising the humility to stand with people and not above them. 

It is not about being perfect; it is about the continuous pursuit of excellence not only in self but also in others. My good friend and mentor, Ann Mincey, once gave me a gift of what she sees in me. She presented me with a simple card that read “Others.” This card, once given to her by her pastor, represented the true purpose of leadership in one word. Others simply means that you seek to find the best in and grow others. That’s authentic. 

Authentic leaders are not afraid to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty; in fact, you will not find one that would ever ask of anyone what he/she is not willing to do himself/herself. 

Again, it is not about being perfect but rather a constant drive to embody these qualities with the sole purpose of making a positive difference in the lives of others.

 

Who is an Authentic Leader?

No, the answer is not simply anyone; however, it is anyone with the courage to live his/her values no matter what. This person can come from anywhere; from any walk of life; any color, creed or stature – it doesn’t matter. As long as you are open and willing to learn what it takes to tap into your incredible human potential; to unleash your powerful creativity and tenacity in sharing your true gifts – you are an authentic leader. 

If you dare to be different in taking right action even in the face of extreme adversity; if you possess the valor to stand alone on your principles – you are an authentic leader. Contrary to popular belief, leaders are neither born nor made, rather they emerge. They can pop up anywhere and at anytime; it depends on what the situation is and who is involved. If there is a person within the ranks that possess the qualities outlined above – a leader will emerge. 

Now, I won’t mince words with you or offer you fluff. The fact that you’re reading this means that you’re way too smart for that. I believe, based on the information available at the time of this publication that 99% of people will not emerge as authentic leaders. Forgive me if that sounds a bit pessimistic; I assure you I am not. The plain fact is that most people simply will not commit to this challenge either because of fear paralysis or complacency. Either way – they will remain sheep. What about you? 
  

The 2 Paradigms of Authentic Leadership

There are 2 paradigms of authentic leadership; independent and interdependent. It is in the mastery of these 2 paradigms lies complete authentic leadership. 

Your understanding of both of these is crucial if you want to develop and cultivate authentic leadership. 

Independent Leadership – Succeed with self

Independent leadership requires a commitment to personal growth, change and evolution. Stephen R. Covey, one of my favorite authors calls this “Private Victory.” 

Private victories are mainly focused on your personal growth and development. It is in this mode of leadership that you define who you are, what your values are and how you respond to the world around you. This is the development and cultivation of personal authentic leadership. 

There are 3 main elements that help you achieve excellence in your independent leadership. This is how you succeed with self.

1. Be proactive – you must accept 100% responsibility for your actions and responses to the people and circumstances around you. It doesn’t matter where you are from and how you were raised; you have the power to choose your path. This includes what you do and how you do it. Being proactive means that you march to the beat of your own drum. You do not react only when someone or something acts on you – that’s reactive. Rather, you take action to make things happen; you move and influence the people and circumstances around you – that’s proactive. 

2. Begin with the results you desire – plan your goals from the finish line backwards. When you understand and are clear on your mission, it is easier to mount the correct strategy to achieve your goal. Your success depends on how well you can express your objective.  Your intent and desire is your compass for developing the correct map to reach your destination successfully.

3. Prioritize appropriately – authentic leadership demands that you put first things first instead of last. It also demands that you don’t waste your energy on meaningless and trivial matters that add no value to anyone. You must learn to execute around priorities; make sure you place high value on the things that matter most to you. Do not take anything for granted because that which we take for granted we lose. Remember the important things and sometimes these are the little things and then endeavor to address them in order of importance. Give them the time and energy that they require; that they deserve. 

Interdependent Leadership – Succeed with others

Interdependent leadership requires a commitment to successfully connecting and collaborating with others. Stephen R. Covey calls this “Public Victory.” 

Public victories are mainly focused on working with and growing others. It is in this mode of leadership that you define how you will add value to others and also how you will cherish and nurture the gifts of others in valuing them. This is the development of authentic public leadership. 

There are 3 main elements that help you achieve excellence in your interdependent leadership. This is how you succeed with others.

1. Seek the third alternative – the third alternative says that you only accept win/win outcomes otherwise you walk away. The main point of the third alternative is to seek the best course of action in all your endeavors. The best course of action is one where all parties affected are happy with the results. If this is not feasible at any given time, then the best course of action is to walk away with clean hearts. This type of attitude sparks excellence in creativity and cooperation.

2. Listen first before you speak – authentic leaders are master listeners; they recognize that it is a gift and they give it often. It is better to first understand others before seeking to have them understand you. In order to succeed at understanding, you must genuinely want to do it. No matter how many books you read and from whom you take advice, you will not hear a thing others say unless you truly want to. True understanding requires that you listen actively with the intent to hear what the other person has to say.

3. Value Collaboration – 2 heads are truly better than one. J. Paul Getty said “I’d rather have 1% each of 100 men than 100% of one man.” This is because he understood the power of cooperation. He understood that it is through synergy that the pinnacle of excellence is achieved. Authentic leaders encourage and reward creativity; they praise those who speak up and they teach others to find their voice. You must place high value on collaboration in order to succeed in interdependent leadership.  

These 2 paradigms of authentic leadership make up the authentic leader; I know of none who do not understand these and strive to succeed at them daily. They consistently seek to learn and grow so that they can succeed in private as well as in public.

 

What’s Next?

First of all, you should know that nothing in this article is original except for my style of writing. It is all based on universal and unchanging principles – natural law. These have always worked and will continue to work indefinitely. 

If you truly want to be an authentic leader, reading this article is a great start. If you wish to continue your journey, here are several more things I suggest you do immediately.

1. Add this blog to your favorites
2. Share it with others
3. Subscribe to the P³G Newsletter
4. Subscribe to my RSS feed
5. Read the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
6. Get off your ass and take action 
    

Don’t get discouraged and never give up because we need you to lead us.

Share

Discover successful habits that allow you to discover, master and unleash your remarkable untapped human potential through the Powerful Principles of Personal Growth Newsletter.

Killer Series: 7 Steps to Killer Success

I wrote an article titled The Epiphany of Complete Success wherein I outlined my best insights on the elements that must be present in order to experience success in all its forms. The goal of that article was to help you recognize your own gifts and talents and then to find innovative ways to share them with the world. Furthermore it was about helping you to understand that unless you discover your true purpose, complete success will continue to elude you. 

There was also a segment in that article where I talked about the fact that we all have the ability to achieve complete success BUT that 99% of us won’t because we refuse to wake up to the possibilities. This is still true; however, I wanted to provide some more practical insights to help you stand apart from the 99% and become a part of the top 1%. 

The goal of this article is to provide a simple step-by-step guide on how to achieve Killer Success. This is the type of success that 100% of people dream of but only 1% actually does something about it. I know – you’re used to the 80/20 rule which is still true; however, I want us – YOU – to aim for the pinnacle of success. I want you to reside in the top 1% and I’m sure you do too. 

Achieving Killer Success requires a great deal of discipline, commitment and determination. People who achieve at this level don’t know what it feels like to quit; they persevere even when all the odds are against them. They leave it all on the line in pursuit of a dream greater than themselves. They are completely purpose-driven and whatever they do, they put people first. This is how you achieve Killer Success. 

Following are 7 steps to help guide you on your journey to achieving your own killer success. Practicing these steps will undoubtedly catapult your success to heights you have not yet imagined and then some. 
 

Step #1: Start at the finish line

I know – it might sound a little strange to you. Why would anyone suggest that you start a race at the finish line? 

This goes back to the doctrine of being a purpose-driven individual. When you know where you are going and how you intend to get there, most of your battle is already won. All you have to do now is execute the steps accordingly. 

All people who achieve killer success understand how crucial it is to envision your goal before you take the first step towards it. Have you ever heard the term “keep your eye on the prize?” If you can already see yourself at the finish line as the first person through the tape – your focus will be more acute. You will be able to execute the necessary steps much more effectively because you know exactly where you are going and how you plan to get there. 

This is sometimes referred to as goal-setting; it is the point in the process where you pinpoint exactly what it is you want to achieve and then see it accomplished in your mind’s eye before it actually happens. This is called creating the vision; it centers your actions on the ultimate goal thereby making your every move relevant and purposeful in achieving your end. 

Imagine what you want the people you love and know to say at your funeral; imagine the legacy you wish to leave behind for your children. Unless you have a clear picture of that, how will you know how to live your life accordingly? The fact is that all people who achieve killer success begin every journey with the end in mind. This keeps you focused and on target. 

Some people say, “I would love to change where I am”; however, the truth is where you are is the present and that you cannot change because it has already happened. What you can change is where you want to be BUT if you don’t have an idea where that is, it will be hard to take the right actions to get there.

 

Step #2: Draw the correct map

If step #1 is where you create the vision then step #2 is where you map it out. This is called vision-mapping. Once your goal – the finish line – is crystallized in your mind, you have to draw the correct map. 

This means that you have to figure out what resources, tools and people you need to help you achieve your goal. Drawing the correct map does not necessarily mean the fastest way to your destination – it means taking the right actions to achieve the results you desire. To achieve killer success the correct map must be grounded in universal and correct principles. When you begin to connect the dots, it must always be for the right reasons. 

Since this is your map, there is no reason you can’t change it midstream as long as the change is grounded in correct principles. This means that on the road to your killer success, you must always put people first and things second; things you can replace – people you cannot. 

The correct map also requires that you pay close attention to the signs on the road lest you get led astray.  So often people start out on a road with one purpose only to find that by the end of the journey they’ve gone completely off course and the purpose they started with has been eroded. Can you imagine trying to get to Denver with a map of Boston? You’ll never make it.

Again, your map may change and the different stops you make along the way may change; however, you must stay true to your purpose. Each step you take must reflect your vision – your ultimate goal.

 

Step #3: Employ the 4 quadrants

Achieving killer success requires – demands that you go all or nothing. You must be in it all the way with every fiber of your being. This is what it means to employ the 4 quadrants of YOU. Your heart, mind, body and spirit must be as one on this course in order to achieve the results you desire. 

If your heart is not in it then your reasons for pursuing this course will be muddled and blurred. Your vision will be unclear and you will easily go off track. Your heart is where the correct emotions and deep passion come from in order to fuel your actions. If it is not in the right place you’ve already set yourself up for failure. 

Your mind is the source of creation and innovation; this is your source of creating the vision and connecting the dots. With your heart in the right place, your mind will unleash more creative and innovative power than you can imagine. If your mind is not in it, your plan will certainly go awry. 

Of course without your body, you cannot take any action on the purpose your heart has given you or on the plan your mind has designed. You must be willing to act because without action, nothing will get done. Without action, your dreams will quickly become fantasies and your killer success will ultimately become killer mediocrity. Unless you get off your ass and in the game, no points will ever get on board for you. 

Your spirit is what ties everything together; it is your essence – it is the energy that you release into the world. If your spirit is correctly grounded in your purpose, it will tell you that you receive what you believe. This is a universal truth and your spirit must be in line with universal and unchanging truths – principles. Without belief, there is no way you can achieve killer success. If you believe you can’t do it, you are absolutely and unequivocally right. In the same vein, if you believe that you can do it, you are absolutely and unequivocally right. This is the universal law of belief – you receive what you believe and nothing more or less. If your spirit is not in it, your vision will surely perish. 

Individuals who achieve killer success understand that the 4 quadrants are imperative in order to achieve the results you desire. Work on aligning these with your goals and your success will multiply a thousand fold and more.

 

Step #4: Spread the wealth

Spreading the wealth speaks mainly to 2 universal principles – the law of gratitude and the law of giving. 

The law of gratitude says, the more grateful you are for what you have, the more you get to be grateful for. With killer success comes a level of humility that makes you feel grateful for all that you have. In showing that appreciation you simply get more and more to appreciate and life becomes rich in every way. This is why you must give thanks every day for the people and the things that you have. If you do this genuinely, you will certainly receive more to give thanks for.

The law of giving says that whatever it is that you want more of in your life, you should give more of it away. Often, people misconstrue what this really means. The first thought many people have is “how can I give away money if I don’t have any to give away?” This is because they do not understand that money is just a byproduct of success – it is not success itself. When you understand this concept, you begin to realize that what you need to give away is not money per se BUT the wealth you have in your life. 

For instance, you can give away love, knowledge, help, kindness, and a host of other things that cost you nothing at all. If you are creating and distributing value to others, the byproducts of your success will begin to show up in your life and if you want more of those byproducts then you can give those away too. The law of giving says that the more you give, the more you will receive. The caveat is that you should not give with the expectation of receiving something in return – that is disingenuous. You must always give with the intention to simply give; to create a distribute value to someone else. 

When you do this genuinely, the universe will and must respond to you in kind. You will receive more than you give in return. So don’t hoard the wealth – spread it as much as you can. Do it willingly, happily and only with good intentions and your killer success will certainly flourish.

 

Step #5: Pay it forward

In the same vein as spreading the wealth, killer success demands that you teach and mentor others in some way. Through the steps you take to achieve your killer success, there were resources, tools and most importantly people that helped you along the way. Paying it forward simply means that you endeavor to do the same for others. It means that you help others avoid the pitfalls that you may have suffered on your journey. It means that you share your experience with others so that they might learn from it. 

When you give in this manner, it will help you avoid one of the major pitfalls of success – GREED. Paying it forward will serve as a constant reminder that you did not do this on your own and that you have others to thank. You honor that memory by providing the same or better opportunities for others. You help others find their voice and teach them how to draw correct maps. 

There is not a single individual that I know of who has achieved killer success that hasn’t made it a point to consistently pay it forward. Some do it in BIG ways and others in small ways. Either way, they do it consistently.

 

Step #6: Value Principles

Unless you place high value on principles, killer success will continue to escape you. In all that you do, you must adhere to correct principles. The universe acts without emotion; without judgment. It simply responds to natural laws no matter what. 

Have you ever noticed that the more down you are the more the universe works to keep you down? Conversely, the more up you are the more the universe works to keep you up – these are natural laws at work. They act in the same fashion no matter what others do or say. They are unchanging and universal truths – principles.

Killer success demands that you value and adhere to correct principles in order to achieve the results you desire. This is the secret that all killer successful individuals understand. It is the fuel that drives and maximizes the first five steps. Unless you value principles, you will eventually run out of gas and your quest for killer success will fall flat.

 

Step #7: Do what you love

This step should probably go without saying; however, as I often say – better to be thorough. There is no point in practicing any of these steps if the 7^th is not a part of the regimen. Doing what you love will help to further ensure that you say and do things for the right reasons as you pursue your goals; it ensures your commitment. 

Of all the examples I can think of there isn’t a single person who has achieved killer success that isn’t doing what he or she loves to do. This being said, it is easy to misunderstand what it really means to do what you love. 

For some individuals, they do not or refuse to see how doing what they love will bring them success because they don’t see it relation to money. The truth is that the moment you are doing anything for money, the love is not for what you’re doing – it’s for the money. This is a sure way to derail your killer success. 

Remember the heart in the 4 quadrants? You have to love what you’re doing in order to find the true value in it and then endeavor to distribute that value. Believe me, the byproduct money will eventually show up and it will be more than you need. This again goes back to the natural laws – the universe will respond in kind. 

Another way to view this is that while what you do for a living is not the thing you love or what you are passionate about – it must be the means to that end. In other words, you may choose to do one thing in order to create the space and the freedom for you to do another – to do the thing you love. 

For instance, let’s say you love to travel – you are extremely passionate about it. You love visiting different parts of the world and learning about new cultures. Let’s also say, it’s not necessarily something you want to use as a vehicle for creating monetary success but you would rather keep it as your private dream. What do you do? 

Well, it would be naïve to think that in this case simply doing what you love will bring you killer success. It may bring you success in your peace of mind and personal fulfillment; however, it won’t keep a roof over your head or put food in your belly. This is where the other 3 quadrants come in to save the day – this is why you need them all. 

Your mind will create an innovative way for you to share your other gifts and talents with the world and your body will execute the plan that will give you the monetary success you need so you can pursue your true love at your leisure. Once your spirit is in line with correct principles as you do what you do – you will reap the right results. 

Doing what you love then simply means that your actions are grounded in correct principles and that the map you follow ultimately leads you to what you love to do. It may be that your map is all about doing what you love or you have simply created a map that consistently takes you to what you love. Either way the goal is to do what you love. 

When you begin doing what you love – you will never have to work another day in your life. This is a beautiful thing.  

Share

Discover successful habits that allow you to discover, master and unleash your remarkable untapped human potential through the Powerful Principles of Personal Growth Newsletter.

 

Moving Up In a Down Economy

The state of the economy is always at the forefront of the media as well as top of mind for people. It goes without saying that there is a legitimate concern with the financial status of our government at all times. 

There is a constant sense of anticipation in the air as it pertains to careers, businesses and the world economy at large.  Everyone has a stake in the health of the economy; some folks are worried about losing their jobs while others worry about failing in business. In either case, the state of the economy weighs on your mind. 

The good news in all of this is that no matter what the media portrays and regardless of how the economy is doing; some folks still tend to do very well. It seems no matter how bad things seem to be, there are professionals and business owners who almost always seem to be moving up even in a down economy. 

Do you want to be one of these individuals? 

The goal of this article is to provide you with some tips on how you can ensure that you continue an upward momentum even in a down economy.

 

For Professionals

If you have a career and you want to ensure that it keeps growing and getting better, there are definitely some things you can do to achieve the results you desire. 

There are 2 key things you must remember at all times and then endeavor to make sure that every move you make is aligned with at least one or both. You should be certain that whatever you do in your career that you are either making or saving your company money. 

This is the main reason most companies exist – to make a profit. If you can understand that, then it should be pretty easy to grasp the concept of making or saving your company money. You don’t have to perform duties that are in direct correlation with either of these activities; however, at the end of the day, your role must tie back to at least one or both. 

There are a few adjustments you can make to improve your status among your colleagues and management teams. These tips will help ensure that they see your relevance as it pertains to one or both of the keys.

1. Embody the company mission – make sure that you understand this inside-out and then align your actions with it every chance you get. If you don’t believe in the company mission, this will be extremely difficult for you.  Start each presentation and project plan with the goal of fulfilling the company mission.

2. Start solving problems – choose a problem that your company has and then solve it. First make sure that you can quantify the resolution in dollars and cents; either by how much the company will make or how much it will save as a result. If the resolution to the problem does not directly or indirectly tie to making or saving the company money, choose one that does. 

3. Increase productivity – find ways to get more done in less time; this alone can solidify your stature in the eyes of the brass. I don’t mean that you should kill yourself trying to do this; I mean work smart and locate alternative resources that will help you achieve the results you desire.

4. Request a meeting with your boss – this is where you let your boss know that you are thinking about the future of the organization; in this meeting you want to ask for his/her input on the main things you ought to focus on in order to help the company achieve its objectives. This move shows initiative; it is just the type of proactive stance that companies look for and keep. 

If you really think about this, there are many more tips you may be able to add as well depending on where you work and what you do. Just make sure that what ever you do is either making or saving your company money. If you are not doing one of these things either directly or indirectly, watch your six. 

Other things you can do to ensure that you continue to move up in a down economy involve your personal growth activities. Always seek out venues, events and people that can help you improve your skills and value. Make sure that you keep your resume current because sometimes moving up means moving out. You don’t want to get caught with your pants down.  

If you don’t have a mentor, now is a good time to get one. In fact, get 2 or more and make sure that one of them is an influential person within your organization. This is what influential people live to do – influence! Trust me, you have only to ask a few people to be your mentor and if your reputation is in good standing, I doubt you have any trouble. 

An influential mentor can come in handy when it’s time to hand out pink slips – guess who won’t be getting one if your mentor likes you. No one gets rid of their protégé unless it is absolutely necessary. 

Moving up in a down economy demands that you stay fresh and relevant to the decision-makers. You have to remain visible; in order to do that, you must be part of high visibility things. Being a part of the solution, increasing output and reducing time and being proactive are all highly visible elements.

 

For Entrepreneurs

If you are a business owner, your main concern is losing profits. You obviously need a certain amount of revenue to sustain your business and a down economy does not necessarily make that easy. 

Here’s the silver lining for you; if you can begin viewing the state of the economy as an opportunity as opposed to a problem, you’re half way there. Furthermore, that attitude will put you light years ahead of the competition. You see, the most common thing that entrepreneurs do when the economy is down is join the Nay-Sayers in their negative thinking. 

The most positive and productive thing you can do for your business is to think differently. Observe the masses and do the opposite. While your competition sees problems, you see solutions to improving customer service. 

What successful entrepreneurs know is that no matter what state the economy is in, their main focus is always to create and distribute value to their customers. They understand that once they continue to look for new and better ways to fulfill their customers’ needs, their value to those customers will increase immediately. 

One of the chief goals of consumers, especially in a down economy, is to feel secure and valued with the people with whom they do business. There is no question that if your product or service is relevant and you find ways of creating and distributing value to your customers, your business will continue to grow. You will move up in a down economy. 

Those who do not focus on this crucial aspect of their businesses will undoubtedly kill their profits. If you want to continue moving up in any economy, focus and creating and distributing value to your customers. With consumers holding on tighter to their wallets, what will make them open them up to you? You must offer something of value to them – that is the only way.

 

Keen Awareness

For anyone who wishes to continue moving up in a down economy, it is important that you raise your awareness of the definition of value as it pertains to what you do. It is your responsibility to decipher the best ways of adding value in your capacity. Simply knowing the ropes and technical aspects of your role is no longer enough to sustain you. 

Whether you are in a good or bad economy, your primary goal should always be seeking newer and better ways of adding value. Regardless of your job description, what type of career you have or type of business you own, focusing on adding value will undoubtedly yield greater rewards. 

When your level of awareness is at a high level, you will be able to hone in on specific areas wherein you can add the most value. Knowing what the people around you need most is crucial in delivering the best value. 

If you work for someone else, you should also pay close attention to your goals as they pertain to your company’s goals. Make sure that you evaluate these periodically to ensure alignment. When things fall out of alignment, you can easily get caught in the activity trap only to discover too late that you were chasing the wrong rabbit. 

If you own your own business, evaluate your goals often just to make sure that the ends and the means work harmoniously. The last thing you want to do is harm your reputation by doing something that goes against your principles. Whatever you tell your customers you’re going to do, you must do exactly that. Do not cut corners otherwise your customers will eventually cut you. Be sure to survey them often so that you remain in the know about their most urgent needs and then meet them. 

The bottom line is, endeavor to continuously raise your awareness about what you do and whom you serve. If you make this a habit you will have no trouble moving up in a down economy.

Share

Discover successful habits that allow you to discover, master and unleash your remarkable untapped human potential through the Powerful Principles of Personal Growth Newsletter.

How to Consistently Achieve the Results You Desire

Have you ever noticed how some people almost always achieve the results they desire? How about you – do you often have the same kind of experience in your endeavors? If you do, that is an awesome thing! 

Most people, unfortunately, do not consistently achieve the results they desire. I am not trying to damper your mood; however, this is the simple truth. If you were to take a quick assessment, I am sure you too would conclude the same. Perhaps you’ve even noticed that you are consistently achieving undesired results in your own life. 

The good news is that there is hope for the leaders among us – you too can absolutely experience the thrill of achieving your goals on a consistent basis. Most probably, and if you have half a brain, you are not consistently seeing the results you desire because you are focused on the wrong things. Your energy is spent on the wrong activities and therefore, the results you achieve are not what you want. 

Following are my best insights on how to consistently achieve the results you desire. These 5 keys have always worked for me and I have also seen it work tremendously for others. There is no doubt that you will experience a profound, positive and impacting shift in the results you begin to achieve once you master these disciplines.

 

Key #1 – Know the objective

In order to consistently achieve the results you desire, you must know what your objective is. What is it that you are trying to accomplish? So often I observe individuals who fly by the seat of their pants and hope that things turn out well. 

If you want to make sure that you don’t waste yours and other people’s time, make sure that you know what the mission is. Have a clear picture in your mind as to what the end result is supposed to be. With this in mind, it will certainly help you make better decisions on the tools, resources and people you need to get the job done. 

If you are sketchy on the objective then the results you achieve will ultimately be sketchy as well. There is no way around it; of course you may find that occasionally, you end up where you’re supposed to flying blind; however, that because other people were removing the roadblocks. The day someone doesn’t show up for duty, you’re toast. 

The point is, the clearer you are on the objective, the better the choices you will make and the more likely it will be that you will achieve the results you desire. There is no question that the difference in the results you achieve will be significant if you simply know the objective. 

 

Key #2 – Create an action plan

Once you are crystal clear on your objective, it’s time to create an action plan. Achieving the results you desire on a consistent basis requires that you plan your moves. Every action you take towards your goal must be deliberate. Individuals who are successful at achieving the best results plan every move they make; they leave nothing to chance.

If you want to be part of this group, you must do the same. Just imagine the frustration that might ensue if you try to get to a new destination without the proper map or GPS to guide you. How many times do you need to get lost before you ask for directions or look them up? 

Objectives require planning and plan you must if you want to be successful. Your action plan is your guide; it tells you what actions to take next and also where you are in proximity to your goal. Your action plan is also where you place your dates and deadlines for meeting your objectives.

Individuals who consistently achieve the results they desire have no illusions about what is going on or where they are in their action plan. They keep a bird’s eye view on the process at all times; again, nothing is left to chance. 

If you don’t create an action plan, then your moves become random and that can quickly become confusing. Often people end up going round and round in circles when their actions are randomized. Disorganization and chaos quickly set in and the objective is usually left behind in the dust. 

When you have a clear objective and an action plan to match, your decisions become easier and your moves are much more precise. Your thoughts are uncluttered and your mind is fixed on the desired result.

  

Key #3 – Develop a flexible strategy

Objective – check… action plan – check… now it’s time to strategize. 

Without a good strategy, even the best laid plans will fail. You must develop a flexible strategy that will take you to your objective in the quickest, most efficient and effective way possible. 

By flexible, I mean that your plan must be easily adaptable. You have to be prepared to change your strategy mid-stream if some other factors change in the process. A great strategy is one that is built with anticipation of the unexpected. 

If this sounds like too tall a feat for you, don’t worry – there is a sure way to ensure that your strategy is as flexible as it can be. 

Many people develop strategies based mainly on a short-term view; the steps and tactics used are ones that may get you to the objective but then if something changes mid-process, it’s hard to adapt. A short-term view is only based on the things you can see and the factors that are presented. They do nothing for anticipating changes or preparedness is dealing with other factors that arise down the road. 

The best way to develop a flexible strategy is to ensure that it is grounded in correct principles – aligned with natural law. The steps and tactics then become merely the byproducts of the strategy meaning that the underlying principles of your strategy never change; however, the steps and tactics easily can. With your strategy built on the backbone of principles, it makes your decisions regarding the steps you take and tactics you use easier.

What exactly do I mean by developing a strategy grounded in correct principles? I am glad you asked. 

Here’s the deal… 

If we look at the Law of Momentum which says that one courageous action taken over and over again only gets easier, bigger and better as time goes on – it can easily tell you where to spend your time. Your strategy may include many different steps and tactics; however, you may find that one or two in particular yield much greater results more efficiently and in a more effective manner. What do you do? Do you continue to give the working strategies the same amount of time and energy or do you increase them on these and reduce on others that do not work so well? 

You may be surprised to know how many people don’t even think this is important. It’s as if you are given a budget for a particular project with fixed monies allocated to different tasks and no matter how much more productive doing one of these tasks is, the money manager won’t move funds around to provide more support for the more productive option. That is crazy to me – BUT – that’s just me. 

The point is that when you develop a strategy based on correct principles, it becomes much easier to change the steps and tactics you take and use to achieve your objective. The result is what matters most – how you get there is an evolving animal. That is why your strategy needs to be grounded in correct principles so that the how is only compiled of right action and nothing adverse that will undoubtedly come back to haunt you.

 

Key #4 – Execute Efficiently

Efficient execution is often overlooked or underplayed when it comes to achieving objectives. This is because the term is often misunderstood or not used at all in any form. 

To execute efficiently, you must understand exactly what it will take to achieve the results you desire. Although these can change as the process evolves, it is important that you make it a point to understand the tools, resources and people you will need. If you understand these, you will know exactly what to do, when to do it and whom should do it. 

Part of efficient execution involves knowing your strengths and weaknesses. For the parts of the strategy where your strengths apply, spend most of your personal time in these areas. For the parts of the strategy where you are weaker, employ others, use resources – simply put – ask for help. 

As Stephen R. Covey puts it, “the true pinnacle of excellence does not lie in our independence but in our interdependence.” The better and more effectively we can work with others, the greater the results we will achieve. 

If you want to execute your strategy efficiently, make it a priority to know how and where the pieces fit. Know whom to delegate different tasks to and also when to employ different tools and resources. The better you are at this, the better your execution and the better the results you will yield.

 

Key #5 – Smash the status quo

If you want to be in the class of individuals that consistently achieve the results they desire, observe the masses and do the opposite. Individuals who fight to keep the status quo create nothing greater than themselves – that’s a fact. This doesn’t mean that the current process isn’t working – it just means that you are the type of person that is always looking for more creative and effective ways to do something. 

Seth Godin, one of my favorite authors, calls these types of individuals “heretics” – the leaders of tomorrow. 

Be a heretic; the status quo is there for the risk averse – the people who accept mediocrity. The status quo is also there for leaders like you to smash to bits with the next great idea. 

The reason this is important in consistently achieving the results you desire is because not all strategies work – not all plans come to fruition. Knowing that you can do things differently is what separates winners from losers. Just because something didn’t work doesn’t mean it can’t – it simply means you need to modify your plan and/or your strategy. 

There nothing worse than doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That’s the Japanese definition of insanity – it’s also mine because I think that’s nuts. 

If you are not willing to learn from your mistakes and failings, change the things you need to and lead with creativity and passion, it will be very difficult for you to consistently achieve the results you desire. Don’t fool yourself into believing that failure is anything but and event from which you can learn and grow. If you are not going to change, you might as well stop trying right now. You’d only be wasting your time achieving nothing worthwhile; just the same old misery. 

Simply going with the flow and upholding the status quo is like living in a box; and if you live in a box, you think in a box. If these are the results you desire – no worries – you just wasted about 10 minutes of your mediocre life. If however you want to achieve great things, endeavor to learn, change and grow. You will undoubtedly achieve the results you desire much more consistently.

How to Achieve Your Goals – Plan, Prepare and Expect

Have you ever wondered… wished… dreamed... but get nowhere really fast? What’s stopping you? What is really standing between you and your goals; your dreams? 

If you really want to achieve your goals; cause your wonders, wishes and dreams to manifest, what is holding you back? 

Many people believe that people who consistently achieve their goals are often lucky and/or inherently ordained with some magical success juice… aka “pixie dust.” Some people even believe that you must be born of a certain stature and in a certain environment to guarantee success in life. It seems all too simple when I put it like this; however, if you think about it, you will realize that you’ve either thought this way or know people who have (and do). 

The truth is that there is no magic juice (pixie dust) and there is no genetic make up that dictates one person’s success versus another. Would it surprise you to discover that your success rests entirely in your hands? No matter what has happened in your past or what you might be facing at this very moment, your future is completely up to you and what you make of it. 

The great Zig Ziglar put it this way and I often ask my audience before I begin a talk or workshop. 

If you can answer yes to these 4 questions…

1. Is there something specific that you can do today that can absolutely make your personal and professional life worse?

2. Is there something specific that you can do today that can absolutely make your personal and professional life better?

3. Do you believe that it is a choice? 

4. Do you believe that every choice has an end result? 

…here’s what you’ve basically said whether you realize it or not. 

I don’t care what has happened in my past; I don’t even care what is going on in my life right now. I know that there is something specific I can do today that will make my life better or worse and the choice is mine. 

Now that is a beautiful feeling – wouldn’t you say. 

In my experience, one of the major roadblocks in achieving goals has always been the lack of a good roadmap. I have mentored and coached so many individuals who simply could not begin to realize their true gifts and talents simply because they had no blueprint to guide them. The vicious cycle of frustration will always continue until you find the b-line that leads out of the disorganization and chaos. 

Don’t underestimate the impact of disorganization and chaos; simply having disorganized and chaotic thoughts can send you down a circuitous path to nowhere very quickly. 

The only difference between you and truly successful people is that they understand the significance of 3 key elements when it comes to achieving goals. They recognize the importance of Planning, Preparation and Expectation. 

In order to consistently achieve the results you desire, you must endeavor to Plan, Prepare and Expect them to happen. Truly successful people are not lucky; rather, they create their own luck! 

I have heard people say that prayer resolves all things but the real truth is that prayer without action produces exactly what you had before you prayed – NOTHING! Any kind of thought without deliberate action moves nothing in your favor. It all sounds great; however, if you don’t act, manifestation cannot occur. 

Understanding the 3 key elements in achieving your goals and how they apply will undoubtedly help you to consistently garner the results you desire.

  

Plan

Without a plan, you will not know how to move, when to move or what to move towards. Even in broad daylight you would be no more apt than a bat if you have no map to guide you. If you truly want to achieve at the highest level, take the time to formulate a plan that is aligned with your goals. 

If you know who you are and where you want to go, your next step has to be planning exactly how you will get there. 

Have you ever heard “busy people” say I’ve got places to go and people to see? The difference between these people and truly successful people is that successful people also have places to go and people to see; however, successful people know exactly why they are going to see these people and why they are going to places they are going. There is nothing surprising or accidental about their actions – they are deliberate. 

In order to remove frustration and chaos from your path, you must have a plan in place to guide you. Your plan is your roadmap – it tells you exactly where you are in your journey so that you know exactly what you must do next in order to achieve your goals. 

Truly successful people don’t just plan for today or tomorrow, they put a plan together for the long term. Eventually, their plan evolves to include the next generation and perhaps a few down the road. In fact, I don’t know any truly successful people that aren’t always planning. Planning is the cornerstone of results; if you don’t plan for the results you desire, how can you achieve them? Certainly you may do it by default once or twice; however, without a real blueprint in place, your lucky days are numbered. 

Simply put, if you fail to plan, plan to fail.   

Prepare

If you do not prepare, your plan will count for naught. Planning alone is not enough because you can plan forever and if you never make a move; your plan becomes a theory. 

In order to bring your plan to life, you must prepare and be prepared. Whatever your plan dictates, you must not only be prepared to take the actions but also to deal with the consequences of those actions. In fact, to the degree that you are prepared, your plan will succeed. 

Only through preparation can you realize the full potential of your plan. This is not as easy as it may sound so I’m going to share a few examples with you. 

A man says he intends to run the New York City Marathon in the next 8 months. Although he is not a trained long-distanced runner, he has challenged himself to finish in record time. He puts a plan together that outlines the resources he needs and actions he needs to take in order to prepare for the marathon. 

Let’s say that he finds a sponsor, starts an appropriate diet, buys all the neat gear but he does no training whatsoever; what do you suppose will happen when it’s time to run? 

Do you think he will be prepared? 

Of course not! He did everything – except – the most important thing – he didn’t train for the race. If he didn’t train and he is not a runner, his body will not be able to withstand the physical ardor of the marathon. The record, I can assure you, will elude him. 

In another scenario, let’s say a career woman intends to find the man of her dreams. She looks deep within herself in search of the qualities that she desires in a mate. Focused, driven, ambitious, loving, devoted, honest and romantic are just some of the characteristics that come to mind. 

Now suppose she continues to devote most of her time to her career, dates multiple men every once in a while and fills her network with mostly on-the-job colleagues; what do you suppose are her chances of landing the mate she desires. That’s right, almost nil. Sure, some women may eventually land that special someone under these conditions but at what cost? 

The fact is, at this rate, she would not be prepared to find let alone receive such a mate. Simply saying you want a mate without making room in your life and preparing to receive one is just not enough. It won’t happen. 

Preparation requires that you make the necessary changes and take the necessary actions in order to execute your plan. If you want to improve upon your personal growth but yet have no desire to change, there is simply no point. You cannot grow personally unless you change something you are currently doing. In order to do that, you must first plan and then prepare by making choices and taking actions to that end.

 

Expect

If you don’t expect it to happen, it won’t. Unless you are expecting the results you desire to manifest in your life, they absolutely will not – at least not at the level you want them to. 

The truth is that you reap more than you sow and that goes both ways. 

If you have any doubt about the results you expect, you will half-ass your plan which will cause you to take half-assed actions which will consequently produce half-assed results. Once you have a plan in place and you prepare by making choices and taking action, you must expect to get exactly what you planned and prepared for. It is natural law that the universe returns to you in abundance and more than what you put out. 

If your plan is sound, your choices are clear and your actions are deliberate, I guarantee you will produce a result of equal or greater value.  

Look, if I write a check knowing I don’t have the cash in the bank to cover it, I expect it to bounce – plain and simple. The same holds true for the other way around. If you stick to your plan and consistently follow through in the preparation, your goals will manifest as long as you expect them to. 

This doesn’t mean that things always go as planned – that would be naïve thinking. I am simply saying that you cannot expect a particular result if you have not planned or prepared for it. Expectation follows planning and preparedness. 

If you do not have a roadmap, your thoughts are in disarray and your moves are disorganized then you should realistically expect the results you achieve to resemble that picture. 

Do not be unrealistic with your expectations; just because you expect something doesn’t mean it will manifest. If you have not put in the appropriate time to plan and prepare accordingly, don’t expect much. If your expectations are not in line with your actions, prepare to be disappointed. 

When you do not plan and prepare yet you expect great things to happen, that’s called imposing on others. If you expect others to deliver what you want without any work on your part, your expectations will be unrealistic.

 

Growth by Design

There is nothing accidental about what happens to truly successful people who achieve at a high level. It is a deliberate result of a sound plan, thorough preparation and realistic expectation. 

If you are creating and delivering value in any way, you can realistically expect a correlating or exceeding reward. This is natural law – this principle does not change. 

Achieving your goals requires a specific design of a plan in order to take the first step. The results you desire in your personal growth and your life will not show up in a Cracker Jack box; you have to plan and prepare for them. Only then can you realistically expect them to manifest. 

Successful growth occurs through design and if you want to guide and control what happens as you grow, I strongly suggest you begin designing your action plan right now. If you don’t, I can guarantee you that the results you desire will become fantasy and never see the light of day. 

Successful people are not special simply because they are successful; they are special because of the road they walked to get there. They put in the work; they plan; they prepare and they expect – CONSTANTLY!

 

How to Set Goals

I use to truck through the year trying to achieve New Year’s resolutions that I had set since the last Christmas holiday. It seemed like a good way to go about achieving my goals at the time, especially since most other people I knew were also doing the same thing. 

For the most part, I would fail to stick to or achieve about 99% of the resolutions I had set. This obviously used to frustrate me to no end because I just couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. It took a while for me to reach the other side of this major pain and on to more tranquil pastures; however, once I discovered the problem, things immediately changed. 

Through my fervent pursuit of personal growth and development, I was introduced to an awesome book by one of my favorite authors and speakers, Stephen R. Covey. It’s called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which I highly recommend. This book absolutely changed the way I viewed many things – and one thing in particular – Goal Setting. 

What I learned from Stephen Covey about setting goals is that if you neither know why you’re doing something, how you plan to do it nor by when you plan to have it done – it simply won’t happen. This, as it turned out, was my very problem. I was not used to defining the why or the roadmap of achieving my goals. 

It is like this article you are reading right now – I have a specific goal in mind for it and I know exactly how I plan to do it. That being said, the goal of this article is to help you understand the importance of setting goals as well as a guide on how to set them so that you are successful in your endeavors.

 

Why it’s important to set goals

Setting goals is important because it keeps your eye on the ball – keeps you focused. It helps you to discern what is and isn’t important to you much more easily. This is how you make good decisions about how and where to target your energy. 

When you set goals, it gives you a much keener sense of clarity and direction. Goal setting is crucial to helping you define your purpose – your mission and how you plan to achieve the results you desire. 

People who do not set goals are easily prone to disorganization, unfocused and confusing thoughts and actions. It can lead you in a vicious circle of frustration if you have not laid out a plan for the results you want to achieve. Without goals, you can easily become overwhelmed which leads to aggravation and disappointment. Not setting goals is like setting yourself up for failure. 

If you want to consistently achieve the results you desire and fulfill your goals and dreams, make goal setting a consistent part of your life. Give it the time and energy it deserves. I guarantee that you will see significant and profound positive changes in the results you achieve. You will also be a lot less frustrated because of it. 
 

All true goals have a specific why

True goals all have a specific reason for setting them. The “why” of a goal is the fuel that drives the thoughts and actions in achieving it. It must be personal and important to you in order to maximize the results. 

The “why” of a goal must also be as specific as possible; even if there is more than one reason – be specific. The more specific you are, the more acutely you can focus which will in turn yield much better results. 

There are 2 questions you must ask yourself in order to get to the true “why” of a goal.

1. What is the goal? – First you must clearly define what it is you are trying to accomplish and be as specific as possible. A good rule of thumb to apply is the shorter the term of the goal, the more specific you want to be. In other words, long-term goals (12 months+) can be in broader strokes and short-term goals (less than 6 months) needs more narrow strokes.

 

2. Why is this goal important to you? – Secondly, you must decide why this goal is important to you. Again, you must be specific. By specific, I mean, make sure you know what change in your life will happen if you achieve this goal; how your life will be positively impacted. Of equal importance; make sure you know what negative changes will happen in your life if you don’t achieve this goal – again, this will keep you focused.

  

Take full responsibility for how you achieve your goals

Once you’ve set your goals and you know why you’ve set them, it is up to you to figure out how to achieve them. How you achieve your goals rests with you and not others. Often, people set goals and then blame others when things don’t turn out the way they would like them to. 

No matter what you think – if you do not achieve your goals – it is because of you. There is a reason you set your own goals; they are important to you. In that vein, you should also accept full responsibility for achieving them. This does not mean that other people can’t help you – in fact, I encourage and implore you to seek the help of others. The point is that whatever happens, the choices you make will determine the results you ultimately achieve. 

There are 2 questions you must ask yourself in order to decipher the best “how” of achieving your goals.

1. Do I have everything I need to achieve my goal? – This means that you have to examine the people, tools and resources you have available to you and decide whether or not they are enough to help you reach your goal. Take nothing for granted and leave no stone unturned in this process. The good news is that this part of the process can easily evolve and you can add and delete as necessary. If the answer to this question is “NO” or your resources become inadequate, then you will need to address question 2.

 

2. What additional people, tools and resources do I need to help me achieve my goal? – Again, take nothing for granted in this process. You want to make certain that you are connecting with the right people, have all the right tools and access to the right resources that will help you achieve the results you desire.

 

It’s not real unless it’s dated

When was the last time you got something important done accurately and in a timely manner that you didn’t date? You know what I mean – I’m going to clean out the garage or I’ll fix the leaky pipe and the list goes on and on.  The important question to ask is – WHEN? 

Your goal isn’t real until you know when you plan to achieve it. You have to put a date on all your goals. It gives you more focus and also a sense of urgency. Most importantly, it places high value on your time and efforts. Psychologically, dating your goals helps you keep the end in mind which will fuel your drive to excel. 

Declaring that you are going to start your own business without a date of when you plan to do it doesn’t do much to motivate you or anyone else for that matter. Without a time frame on the ultimate prize, you’re just puffing hot air which makes you nothing but a wandering, wishing windbag. 

If you wish for something without a plan to act on it, plan to spend a lot of your pennies at the wishing well. Unless you plan to act, nothing will happen – the genie does not come out when you rub the lamp to grant you 3 wishes. 

The reason I’m driving so hard at this point is because it is vital that you understand the importance of putting dates on your goals. Dating will drive you to excel and fuel your motivation to keep marching on day after day through thick and thin. Additionally, a date will help you better define the actual steps you need to take and when you need to take them. 

Make sure that you decide WHEN you will achieve the goals you set.

 

A caveat about commitment

All of the above will undoubtedly help you to set and achieve your goals in a much more effective manner. In that vein, make sure your level of commitment matches the importance of your goals. It is easy to forget why we are doing something when we get caught up in the world wind of life. 

Here’s a tip I learned very painfully many years ago – WRITE IT DOWN! You will be amazed at how much your level of commitment increases when you write down your goals – put it on paper and review it often. I usually go over my short-term goals once a week and the long-term ones at least once a month. 

Things can change so quickly that in order for you to stay on top of what you want to achieve, you need to look at it frequently. Somehow, seeing your goals in writing does a great deal to galvanize your resolve and determination. It serves as a refueling mechanism especially since we can be so easily distracted by life. 

If you want to do yourself a great service and stay focused, write down your goals and the outline of how and when you plan to achieve them. I guarantee that this will make a huge difference in the results you achieve if you review them often enough. Find an interval of review that suits you or simply do it when you need a boost in your spirit. 

Forget about making empty promises to yourself and coming up with meaningless resolutions. Do something worthwhile and make a real difference in your life – set goals and then take action to achieve them. No one else is going to do it for you.  

 

Proactive Leadership

Truly speaking the title of this article is somewhat of a paradox since the true definition of leadership requires that you be proactive. I included it however because in this article, it is imperative that you understand the difference if you are going to get the point; most people don’t. I apologize if I’ve already offended you; however, I promise you will understand if you’re brave enough to continue. 

If you are pressed for time, be sure to print this article out for reading at a later time. It is more than 2,500 words long so settle in for an interesting read – Jasmine Green Tea anyone? 
  

First, let’s define leadership. 

In classic Dean L. Forbes style, first, here’s the dictionary’s definition… 

Leadership – to provide guidance; give direction or issue orders; a position of authority and power 

Once again the dictionary fails us miserably in providing an adequate definition for such an important part of our existence – no wonder most fail at it abysmally. 

Here’s the Dean L. Forbes definition… 

Leadership – the courage to make decisions grounded in correct principle and to act in accordance with your values regardless of popular practice and with the primary purpose of serving others 

This to me is a more encompassing definition of leadership – true and authentic leadership.

 

Why Proactive Leadership?

True leadership requires that you be proactive; I added it in the title because it is important that you understand what it will take to be an effective leader – one that makes a difference. 

In order to be a proactive leader you must endeavor to take responsibility for all your deeds. In other words, neither people nor circumstances affect your response and if they do you accept the responsibility of allowing the occurrence. Responsibility is a discipline that all true leaders understand well – they recognize the vastness of it and act accordingly. 

The point is that when you are proactive you know that while you have no control over others or the circumstances around you – you do control you. You control what you think and how you act. Regardless of the stimuli, a proactive leader knows that he/she is free to choose his/her response rather than simply reacting. Reactive people are influenced by everything that acts upon them – proactive people influence actions. 

To put it in simple terms, if someone gives you the finger, you may choose to reciprocate in kind or you can just as easily ignore the gesture. This is what is known as being the bigger person. You can be proactive or reactive – just know that true leaders are proactive.

 

Self-leadership

Before you can lead anyone else, you must first master leading yourself. If you do not know where you are going or what your purpose is, how can you lead others? 

Purpose, plan and action in that order are how you self-lead. Without this sequence nothing will get done; you will not move forward and your dreams and goals will become mere fantasies. Self-leadership also requires that you are proactive; you do not wait for others or circumstances to move you – you are the mover. You move others and influence the circumstances around you in order to achieve the results you desire. 

In order to lead yourself effectively, you must be crystal clear about your intentions and why you intend them. You must value principles and be diligent in executing your plans. 

Here’s a jumpstart guideline to help you develop good habits in self-leadership. 

Develop a Personal Mission Statement

A personal mission statement is crucial in helping you identify you innermost values and goals. It serves as the compass guiding you on your journey ensuring that you remain on track. It is like the blueprint of a house. 

Before the first nail is driven – before the first beam is staked into the ground – a blueprint must be drawn. If not, the builders will not know where to put the big walk-in closet or the man-room with all the sports memorabilia. The point is that you need to know your mission – your purpose before you can begin to lay plans to achieve it. 

There is a reason elite teams like the Navy Seals, Rangers and the 300 are so successful at what they do. They all know the mission and each man knows exactly what he is expected to do and how it must be done to achieve the desired result. Effective self-leadership demands the same level of commitment and diligence in order to achieve at the highest level of your potential. 

Make plans and evaluate them often

Once you have a mission – a blueprint – you must make plans to execute it. You must now prioritize each stage of your plan in a manner that you believe will garner the greatest success. Based on your mission, you must plan your next moves; decide what resources and tools you need and also who are the people you need to contact to make it happen. All these things are an important part of the planning phase. 

Surely, depending on other elements beyond your control, you may need to change your plans. This is why you must evaluate your plans often – at monthly intervals perhaps. You can always change your plans if necessary to achieve the results you desire so long as your mission remains the same. Your mission should only change if it no longer represents your value system. 

The main reason to evaluate your plan is to ensure that it is in line with your values, adheres to correct principles and on track to achieving your goal. Value your mission but do not marry the plan otherwise it may blind you. Focus on the results you want to achieve and then make sure that your plans get you there. Even if you have to change your plans mid-stride, you will feel comfortable doing it if you are not attached to it. 

There is no substitute for a well-laid plan; all true leaders plan. There are none who do not. If you fail to plan, then you must also plan to fail. In fact, true leaders are almost always planning. 

Take action

Unless you act on your plans, nothing will happen – you will achieve nothing. You must act on your plans; you must execute each step on the way to fulfilling your purpose – your mission. 

You need to function like a guided missile. Its guidance system tells it what its purpose is; its programming tells it where it’s going; however that missile will not have fulfilled its purpose until it reaches its target. To do that, it must take flight – not stopping until it has reached its destination. This has to be you and you must commit to taking action consistently. 

Don’t sit on the sidelines waiting for everything to be perfect before you make a move for if you do you will be waiting for eternity. Taking action and making mistakes is the only way you will learn what it takes to move forward. Still waters may run deep but if you can’t “hang 10” you’ll never ride the waves. So what if you fall off the board a few times – the more you practice the better you will become. If you are waiting for perfection then you should know that practice is the only thing that makes perfect – or at least comes closest. 

Execute around priorities

Remember to put first things first and execute your plans by priority. Prioritize your actions by level of stages and importance. If you know that you must execute item A before item D can be the best, then make certain you do not skip item A. If you fail to prioritize your actions you will end up with what I like to refer to as “Scatter Brain Syndrome” or SBS. 

It is vital that you learn how to prioritize. It is the best way to avoid the “activity trap.” So many people suffer from the proverbial activity trap of being very busy but getting nowhere fast. This is because they are not prioritizing so they are just doing and acting without a guidance system. Yes you have to take action; however, acting out of sequence is just as bad if not worse than no action at all because it wastes valuable energy while achieving sub-par or no results. 

All true leaders understand the value of priority power and they use it consistently to help them stay on track and keep their actions in line with the mission.

 

Leading Others

Remember the paramount purpose of leadership – to serve others. This is the responsibility that all true leaders accept. If you are not aiming to serve others you cannot lead effectively. 

Neither your position nor station in life can ever make you an effective leader regardless of what the documents say. Leadership comes first from within and then influences the people and circumstances around you. This is why it is imperative that you first master self-leadership before leading others. 

In order to lead others effectively, you must know where you are going and have the vision to convey the mission clearly to those that would follow. People do not truly follow titles and positions; they follow those who represent values within them. They follow people they trust, people who show they care about them and their dreams. 

True leaders know that their success lie in those they help find success – in growing others. This is the path of the proactive leader – others. 

Here’s a jumpstart guideline to help you develop good habits in leading others. 

Put people first

Above all else true leaders always put people first. Everything else is secondary for there are no greater connections than the ones formed between people. You put people first because in the people is where you will find the greatest wealth of progress and creativity. When empowered, people can produce at levels we still have not seen or imagined possible. 

Without others, you cannot achieve at your full potential; without people, no company can rise to the pinnacle of excellence. Without others, no idea can change the world. We all need each other and that’s why you must always put people first. 

Feed the four quadrants

This goes hand-in-hand with putting people first. When you put people first, you can then take the necessary steps to make sure that you feed the four quadrants of people – the mind, body, heart and spirit. True leaders understand that they must always look to nourish people in these four areas in order to help them reach their full potential. 

Too often, I have seen companies that treat their employees like machines rather than people. They expect them to function like robots rather than the creative beings that they are. They do not involve them in the creation of the mission or purpose, yet they expect them to honor it. This usually leads to employees who are disgruntled and who feel like they have no real value. There are not many things worse that living a life without real purpose – most human beings want – need that. 

This is why as a leader, you must nourish the four quadrants of the people in any way you can. Feed their mind, body, heart and spirit and you will awaken extremely high levels of creativity, ingenuity and innovation within them. This is called “cherishing the goose.” 

Focus on results

It is important that you pay attention to details; however, you must not get caught up in the minutia of things. How a result is achieved is not as important as the result itself. So long as the results were met through right actions, the how doesn’t really matter at all. If your values are in tact, focus on the results. 

Too many people are overly concerned with process and procedure – these are guides and nothing more. There are always other ways – better ways of doing things. What matters most is the result. 

Managers often get caught up in doing the right thing by following procedure and doing exactly as they are told no matter what. When the plan fails, the lame response is usually, “I was only doing my job” or “that’s the way they wanted me to do it.” 

Leaders on the other hand do the right things. They do not get tangled in the web of procedure; rather they promote creativity and innovation in order to get the job done as quickly and efficiently as possible. The shorter and more effective the road to the results are – the better. 

This does not mean that you promote anarchy and break the rules every chance you get. It simply means that you remove the fear from the people by letting them know that you value innovation and creativity. You let them know that they should not be afraid to share new ideas because you value their voice. After all as a true leader, this is what you are supposed to do – help others find their voice. 

Value principles

If you do nothing else as a leader, make sure you value principles. Principles are universal truths that are unchanging. They do not break or waver – they simply are. If you value principles and endeavor to live by them, you will always be able to make good decisions. Others will undoubtedly respect your tenacity and resolve. 

Principles should be the backbone of every decision you make. This way your judgment will not be clouded by emotion. When you make decisions based on natural laws, you will always achieve the right results. For instance, there is a universal law that says, you reap more than what you sow; this is true in all cases. The more good you do, the more good will come back to you which means that the reverse is also true. 

Have you ever noticed that the more you are down, the more the universe seems to work to keep you down? And, the more you are up, the more the universe seems to work to keep you up? 

These are all natural laws in action every second of every day and it doesn’t matter what we do, they will simply exist. People and circumstances may change; however, principles do not. This is why you must value principles.

 

Where do leaders come from?

Everywhere and Anywhere! 

True leaders are not born or made; rather they emerge. Leaders can come from any walk of life; any color, creed or station. We all have the ability to become leaders; in fact we need more leaders than ever before in history. 

By the (Dean L. Forbes) definition of leadership, anyone with the will to act can become a leader. It does not matter who you are, where you’re from or what you do, leadership is yours if you choose it. 

Of course, this begs the answer to another question – one I frequently get. Can anyone truly be a leader?

Well for starters let me say that while all leaders are followers, not all followers are leaders. Not everyone wants to lead and that’s ok – happy following – no hard feelings. The other side to this is that many want to lead but only few will really become true leaders. Many are called – few are chosen. I know it’s a cliché but it is true.

In my personal opinion, I think that any person who lives a purpose-driven life can be a leader. In fact, if you live a life of purpose, you are obviously doing something right in your personal leadership – self-leadership. Unfortunately, purpose-driven people are in the minority on planet earth last time I checked. I’m no math whiz but I think you can figure this one out.

 

A final thought

This article is by no means an attempt to explain to you all the characteristics necessary to be a leader – that’s just too much for one article. The goal rather is simply to put true leadership in perspective for you – to provide you with proper context. 

Too often people misconstrue what true leadership is. I wrote this article to help you distinguish leadership from management. The goal is to point you in the right direction in developing true leadership habits. I want to help you understand that proactive leaders lead a life of significant difference. They make significant differences and they embrace differences significantly. 

My question is, what kind of leader do you want to be?

 

Top 10 Reasons to Bury the Hatchet

If you ever had a dispute or disagreement with someone then you understand the tremendous amount of energy it takes to sustain it. There are a myriad of reasons why disagreements happen; the real challenge is how we handle it when they do.

 

For a long time I used to think it was just fine to have an on-going dispute or disagreement with someone as long as I believed I was in the right. There were times when it felt good to stick it to the other guy any chance I got.

 

What I have learned since that time though is that, it does you or anyone else no good when you give life to disputes and disagreements. Even when you feel good about sticking it to the other guy, the exact opposite is true – it feels better to forgive. It takes an enormous amount of energy to continue to dislike someone or sustain a dispute with someone.

 

As the hatchet gets sharper, the more you have to do to keep from getting cut. You have to consistently watch your back for fear of what the other party might do. Why let a dispute or your dislike for someone else rob you of your power? We have the power to choose to let it go and yet so many of us still refuse to bury the hatchet no matter who gets hurt.

 

Imagine this hatchet in the center of your life guiding and directing your decisions; where to eat, where to sleep, where to simply be. Is this over the top? I think not. I’m sure you’ve seen this in one form or another. One person says “I’m not coming to your party if she’s going to be there.” How ridiculous is that? Or, “I’m not going to eat at that restaurant again because he’s always in there.” My goodness – that doesn’t sound like anything I want to be a part of. It takes way too much energy that I could be putting to better use.

 

Aside from this rant though, following are the top 10 reasons you should bury the hatchet – if you have one sharpening that is. Otherwise, you can still read or print this article and give it to someone you know need it; and I know that you at least know someone who needs it.

 

I will start at #10 and work my way to the #1 reason to bury the hatchet. Here goes…

 

#10 - You’re Not a Total Moron

Sorry but only a total moron would continue to believe that there is any benefit in a protracted dispute. What’s the point of keeping the hatchet on the table if it becomes the centerpiece of your life?

 

This is inevitably what happens when you don’t bury the hatchet; you think more about that situation than you do anything else. You place such high value on this negative situation that it envelops your whole life and pretty soon it’s all you live for. If a silly hatchet is all you have to live for, you might as well go in peace right now because you’re already dead.

#9 - Better Health

OK, so you’re not buying that you’re total moron for keeping the hatchet alive – fine! How about you bury the hatchet to preserve your health? It is a proven fact that negativity drives you to the grave even faster. With a negative situation like this in your life, your health will continue to deteriorate.

 

This type of high stress is known to compound the effects of almost all diseases and medical conditions. Sickness and disease are negative things and therefore they attract more negativity. So, unless you want to give sickness and disease a helping hand in killing you – bury the hatchet.

 

#8 - Not Worth It

How could it be when all it gets you is more stress? What is the hatchet worth? Neither party derives any benefits from it; the only thing that keeps growing is the negative energy in your life. Thanks but NO THANKS!

 

#7 - Too Hard

This is way too hard a thing to sustain with no benefits coming to you. Imagine having to continuously fuel your spirit with hate and disdain for someone else. Imagine feeling like smiling and fighting your facial muscles to do the exact opposite.

 

The tremendous amount of energy that it takes to sharpen the hatchet could be directed in so many more valuable ways. This hatchet stuff to me is just too hard and certainly not the smartest way to live.

 

#6 - The Boomerang Effect

Universal and unchanging natural law says that you reap what you sow. The more of it you sow the more of it you will reap. Sow the seeds of sour grapes and reap – that’s right – SOUR GRAPES.

 

It amazes me that individuals who continue down this path also continue to believe that one day they will get different – and even more asinine – better results than they’ve gotten before. All the while they are simply putting out more and more of the same negative energy. Perhaps you should go back and read #10 because if you don’t understand the law of belief – you’re in big trouble.

 

The fact is that you will only get out what you put in… do you really want to put your energy into sharpening the hatchet or putting it away?

 

#5 - Forgiveness

Showing forgiveness is one of the purest forms of humanity. Many people misunderstand the true purpose of forgiving someone. They refuse to do it because they have decided that the other person does not deserve their forgiveness. The truth is that forgiveness is not for the forgiven – it is for the person who forgives. You cannot get past something or let go of a transgression against you unless you are willing to forgive the person who committed it.

 

Forgiving someone for having done you wrong clears your conscience and gives you room to grow; to be a better person. Not forgiving someone who has done you wrong only serves to fester negative emotion that undoubtedly do you physical, mental, emotional and spiritual harm.

 

Forgiveness is infinitely better than blame – I guarantee it!

 

#4 - The Ultimate Power

When you continue to despise those who rise against you, they rob you of your ultimate power – CHOICE. In all things we have the power to choose. Each time we allow a person or situation to dictate how we behave, we relinquish that power.

 

Who is in charge of you? Is it you or is it this person or situation for which you continuously sharpen your hatchet?

 

You will always be without your ultimate power if you continue to act only when others act upon you – that is just a reaction. Any MORON can do that consistently. It takes true self-leadership to make your own choices; to behave in a manner that is in line with your values.

 

Bury the hatchet or concede to giving up your power to choose.

 

#3 - Effective Self-leadership

With hatchets flying all over the place, you will never be able to lead yourself or anyone else effectively. Your emotions will always get the best of you and you will become a reactor that simply acts only when acted upon.

 

If you don’t care about being a leader in your own life then so be it – continue down your path of self-destruction. Just don’t ever wonder why things never go your way or why you can’t seem to overcome your shortcomings. The proof as they say is in the pudding – you reap what you sow so just deal with it.

 

If you don’t want to lead you can always play follow the leader and let your pettiness and pride lead you in a constant state of downward spiral. Good luck with that!

 

#2 - Unhappy

There is no way you can achieve true and complete happiness when there is hate in your heart. If you despise others and are content to remain in conflict then your life will be in a constant state of conflict and discontent. If you constantly deny yourself and others of who you truly are in the interest of preserving and sharpening your hatchet, how can you ever be happy?

 

Happiness comes from within which means that you must seek out the best in yourself and share that with the world. When you spread negativity, negativity will come back to you. Over and over, negativity will show up in your life as long as you continue to sharpen the hatchet. Just release and let it go and your happiness will immediately increase.

 

#1 – Live by the Hatchet – Die by the Hatchet

Well isn’t this the quintessential cliché? Perhaps; however, it is undoubtedly true. Sooner or later, if you continue to sharpen the hatchet you will get cut. It may not cut you directly but perhaps someone you love will reap the wrath of the nasty seeds you’ve sown.

 

Don’t under-estimate the power of karma – sins of the father often visit upon the son. Sure, tragic things happen to good people everyday; however, they are not remembered for that tragedy – they are remembered for how they lived. When the hatchet turns on you, all people will remember is how you lived; they will think that you died in the same manner, deservedly so.

 

What’s the point?

If you’re still asking this question, start reading again from the top. Sure, this whole article may be considered subjective and I am sure that someone else could come up with another 10 reasons why you should bury the hatchet.

 

The point is that there is no good reason to keep sharpening one; it only robs you and the rest of the world of your true self; your greatness.

 

Continuing in this negative quest means that you are either too stupid to realize your folly or I’m mistaken and you are a total moron. Now, there is very little I can do to help you if you’re just stupid but I already know that stupid people don’t visit my website. That leaves MORON and for that there is a cure. Get off your ass; stop whining about what someone else did to you and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s just plain pathetic!

 

If you happen to see things differently than someone else – no big deal – just agree to disagree and move on. That’s called choice. Taking it any further in terms of malice, unfriendliness and despite is just plain moronic and a waste of time. 

You know what else is a waste of time? Writing one more word trying to convince you why you should bury the hatchet – that’s a colossal waste of my time and yours. So on that note…

 

 

The Epiphany of Complete Success

There are numerous definitions of what success means; it has become such a subjective topic that in some respects the meaning of success seems meaningless. Depending on your school of thought and the lens through which you view this idea, it can take many forms. There is no doubt that you can succeed on different levels and in different areas of your life BUT – how do you measure and define it?

 

This topic has been thoroughly studied and viewed from all different angles. I have studied my own successes to see if I could figure out the reasons I was successful in the first place. I deliberated the behaviors of other successful individuals and I looked to my mentors for answers. I searched the faces of some of the most influential individuals of our time to find the formula.

 

Surely there were characteristics and behaviors that all successful individuals had in common; however, most were still so different from one another in their approach and modus operandi.

After a while I realized that the one thing that had always eluded me was how to remain successful. What was it about successful people that made them remain that way?

And then it hit me…

 

I was barking up the wrong tree – looking at this topic all wrong. It isn’t about what they do that matters, it is the why. I didn’t realize this until it happened to me – until I had my own epiphany of complete success.

 

The day I experienced the epiphany to start this blog and pursue my public speaking dream was the day I became a complete success. It wasn’t at all about what I was going to do or what I was going to earn or anything else – it was all about the why. My success came from within which is where all successful individuals derive complete success – from within.

 

That being said, I don’t want to leave you high and dry; there are some important elements that make up this epiphany. It’s not like it just happened to hit me in the head like a rock. I had been heading down this path for a long time and didn’t know it. It only became clear to me because I was finally keenly aware of who I am and how I want to live my life.

 

As I pondered success more deeply and broadly, I realized that there are certain elements that are always present before during and after one has attained complete success.

 

The goal of this article is to help raise your awareness to these elements so that you can more easily recognize your success when it shows up. The fact is that we all have the ability to achieve complete success – the sad thing is that 99% of people will not – only because they refuse to wake up when it comes knocking. Most people will remain completely unconscious and incompetent when it comes to realizing their true gifts and talents that would ultimately help them achieve the success they ought to have. I’m sorry if that’s too much of a negative statement coming from a personal growth and development blog; however, this blog is also about truth and this is the truth as I understand it as of the writing of this article.

 

If it scares you to think that you may be a part of that 99% - don’t be. You’re reading this article which already puts you ahead of the pack because you are reading and learning. This means that you have a leg up so don’t break it.

 

I tell you that because I’ve broken my “leg up” a few times and it wasn’t fun; I let fear get the best of me – I let it win. The day I stopped letting fear win was the day I became successful and even on the days when fear won again, I knew exactly what I had to do to kick its ass and I have been kicking it ever since.

 

In order to truly experience the epiphany of complete success, these are the elements that must be present.

 

Know your true purpose

This is crucial to realizing your complete success. You must know your true purpose in life; we all have one. What this means is that you must endeavor to figure out why you are here in this life. How are you meant to impact the world? What legacy will you leave? How will you have made the world a better place for having been in it?

 

If this sounds too deep for you, perhaps you’re simply not ready to face the unchanging truth. The unchanging truth is that each person walks this life for a reason; a purpose only he/she can bring to the world. What has always been inside of you yearning to come out and play with the rest of the world?

 

It is harder to wrap your head around the concept of a true purpose than it is to actually recognize it. Once you accept the unchanging truth that you do have a purpose, you have only to think of the one thing you would do whether you earned a living from it or not; the one thing you would do just to see others happy for you having done it.

 

When you realize your true purpose and you embrace it, every step towards bringing that purpose to life feels effortless no matter how difficult it is. You continue to persevere simply because you know that you must and will continue to do so no matter what. That’s what realization of purpose does – it drives you to overcome every obstacle no matter how big.

 

The most important thing about knowing your purpose is that everything you do must reflect the true nature of that purpose; you must not deviate from its course in the pursuit of instant gratification. Your purpose in life is the most important thing because it will govern the way you behave in the other areas of your life.

 

What’s in it for others?

Once you’re convicted of your true purpose you now have to bring that to the world in a way that provides something the world needs. It challenges you to think deeply about what that special thing is that you have to offer the people in the world around you. You see, your success is not complete if you’re the only one enjoying it; if you are the only one deriving a benefit.

 

Complete success is about fulfillment in giving where others receive a great value from what you’ve given. All the other things that come along with success are simply byproducts of this universal and unchanging principle.

 

Think for a moment if you will…

 

Why is it that some people have so much money and yet no family or friends around them with whom to share it? These people often end up miserable, troubled and sometimes die way too young. When it happens, we tend to sit around and say things like “What did she have to be unhappy about? She was so rich!”

 

Was she really?

 

Sure by monetary standards, she may have been rich; however, without people with whom to share that wealth, she is just an empty vessel. Nothing is more important than nurturing our connection to others. All the money in the world can never make you happy or completely successful if you are alone; if you give no love and are shown no love.

 

For this reason, you must endeavor to figure out what’s so important and special about your gifts and then share them with the world. Sure, there may be many ways in which you can do this; however, in order to attain true success; complete success – this must be done.

 

Does it sound hard to get to this point?

 

Think of it this way…

 

How would you want to partake in your gifts if you knew someone else possessed them? What would motivate and excite you most about them? Often times, if you can answer simple questions like these, they will put you on the right track. Besides, you don’t have to get it completely right the first time – you just have to do it with the right mindset or as my friend and mentor Ann would say “do it with your heart.”

 

Create and distribute value

Once you’ve figured out what’s in it for others, now it’s time to find ways to create and distribute that value. Complete success requires that you consistently look for ways to send your message out to the world.

 

The truth is that when you’re on this path for the right reasons and your purpose is crystallized in your mind, it will unleash unimaginable creativity within you. The value that you distribute will increase a thousand fold because of it. This is what it means when YOU create and distribute value to others.

 

When you are in this mode, all the other byproducts ultimately fall into place. The more you do the more abundance you will receive.  It will consistently show up in different forms; money, family, friends and most importantly others paying forward what you given them. Nothing screams complete success like someone else you’ve touched paying it forward and touching others. Your circle of influence will grow exponentially and you will ultimately touch more lives than you can possibly imagine.

 

When you create and distribute value to others, the effects are rippling because people tend to duplicate such efforts and touch others because you’ve touched them. When you do what you love; when you are true to your purpose and you find ways to create and distribute value to others through your gifts, complete success must follow. It is an embodiment of all the universal and unchanging principles like the law of cause and effect; the law of belief and the law of momentum just to name a few.

 

I could go on and on about universal principles BUT, that’s for another article. For now, get the point. Success is not about money or power or any other byproduct of success. It is about the gift that you give to the world; it demands that the more you give it the more abundance you will receive so that you can give more. This is the epiphany of complete success.

How to Become Highly Effective at Time Management

How many times have you heard about or been a victim of the time management trap? Why is it that some people seem to do it so effectively while others constantly struggle?

 

This seems to be a never-ending battle between time and man and it doesn’t look like there is much light at the end of the tunnel… or is there?

 

Highly Effective Time Managers are not born or made – they develop through diligent practice. If you wish to become skilled at anything, it won’t happen unless you practice. When you practice over and over again, you become highly skilled and eventually you form a habit. Certainly natural affinity towards anything will vary from person to person; however, the underlying factor is that those who become the best practice ritually – especially when everyone else isn’t.

 

To become a highly effective at time management, there are a few guidelines that will help you to achieve the results you desire.

 

Accept and understand the truth

The first and foremost thing that you must realize and come to terms with is the irrefutable truth – you cannot control time. You can only control what you do with the time you have. Highly Effective Time Managers understand this simple truth all too well which is what makes them so darned efficient.

 

The common misconception that most people make is to focus on managing the time they have rather than what they do with that time. You see – time exists and keeps on ticking no matter what you do – it is never-ending and completely out of our circle of control. What we do with the time we have however, is completely in our circle of control.

 

Accept the fact that you can only control you and make what you do with the time you have the focus and you will already be light years ahead in the game. Just let time be, because it ticks away regardless of what you do – let it go. J

 

Plan your time

Now that you understand the truth about what you can control and what you can’t, it’s time to make use of it.

 

Have you ever heard the phrase “fail to plan – plan to fail?”

 

Nothing could ring more true when it comes to planning what you do with your time. Show me a day without a plan and I’ll show you one with no real results; in some cases it may end up being a day of chaos. Now don’t get me wrong – it can be a lot of fun to spend an unplanned day with your family and friends where you do whatever tickles your fancy in the moment. Even then though, at least you’ve planned to do that so the expectations are still realistic.

 

Here’s the deal – what you can see you can manage – what you can’t see manages you.

 

Let me say that again…

 

WHAT YOU CAN SEE YOU CAN MANAGE – WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE MANAGES YOU.

 

What this means is that for each moment in your day you don’t plan, you are subject to the circumstances that arise within those moments. This is not to say that every single second of your day should be planned; however, it is important to plan accordingly for the things you want to accomplish in a given day. Flying by the seat of your pants will only result in a frustrating and pointless day. It will be hard for you to be where you want to be at the times you want to be there without a blueprint to follow.

 

If your day moves along on a whim or on impulses, you cannot expect significant results because you will not be prepared to deal with what comes. If you can’t see where you are going, how can you expect to get there?

 

If you have ever seen people in your workplace who exist in a constant state of chaos, you know what I’m talking about. Without plans everything becomes and emergency no matter how important or worst yet – how trivial it happens to be.

 

Have you ever seen what happens when a meeting without an agenda? The tone of the room instantly changes to one of uncertainty and a free-for-all session to talk about the latest pain each person is suffering. This is what happens when you don’t plan your time.

 

Remember – what you can see you can manage – what you can’t see manages you.

 

If you can see your day laid out on a calendar, then you will know exactly how to prepare and how much time you need to execute each item. You will most certainly be better equipped to be where you need to be at the times you need to be there and your day will have much less emergencies – especially unimportant ones.

 

When you can see what is in store for your day, you will undoubtedly be able to manage your actions more effectively thus making more efficient use of your time. Conversely, when you can’t see what your day looks like, you become a victim of whatever the day throws at you. Time and tide wait for no man so make sure you’re focused on your action plan.

Put first things first

One of the biggest mistakes people make is failing to put first things first; they don’t prioritize. This always results in disorganization and scattered thoughts which beget the same type of results.

 

Planning your time in order of priority is crucial because it helps you focus on the most important things.

 

One of my mentors attaches this quote to the bottom of her e-mails: “The most important thing is keeping the most important thing the most important thing.” Now that is a profound statement. Do you get the point?

 

Many people spend their day buzzing away as busy as a bee only to reach the end of the day and realize they’ve accomplished nothing they set out to. The reason for that is lack of planning and prioritization. If you don’t know what the most important thing on your agenda is, how will you ever achieve the results you desire in an effective manner?

 

Highly Effective Time Managers understand the power of priority – they thrive on it so that they never miss a beat.

 

Here’s the deal; when you plan your day in order of priority, it shows you how to direct your energies and where. It doesn’t mean that the most important things get done first; it just means that they get greater consideration in the grand scheme. All your days won’t go perfectly so when you have to make a decision on what things to do and which to leave for another day, knowing the order of importance becomes crucial.

 

Value your time

Here’s a mistake that many people make – they don’t put enough value on their time and this can really throw a major monkey wrench in your plans.

 

Highly Effective Time Managers place high value on their time and they act accordingly. The fact is that people will value your time only as much as you do. If you place no value on your time, neither will they so you must make sure that you do.

 

I can just see all of you reading this going – I don’t know who he’s talking about but I value my time. I must have struck a nerve… J

 

Perhaps I’m not talking to you – BUT – many people do not put value on their time and in some cases they do not even understand how to do that.

 

When I say “value your time” what I am talking about is executing your calendar as you planned it regardless of what others are doing and the circumstances that arise. Of course, there will be exceptions; however, these should be few and far between and should not become the rule.

 

For instance, if you have a meeting scheduled from 10 AM to 11 AM and the other party is late, you should have no trouble stating that due to your busy schedule, this meeting must end at 11 AM. In some cases, if you have to wait more than 10 or 15 minutes on another person, it is totally OK to reschedule for another time that is convenient to you.

 

So much time is wasted waiting for others or other things which can absolutely hamper your entire day. Once you get behind in your day, you’re behind the entire day unless you stick to executing your calendar as you’ve planned it. People will value your time more when they see that you are serious about how you spend it.

 

Once people realize that they can make you wait on them until they are ready to meet with you – they will.

 

To become highly effective at time management (self management), you must put high value on your time. That means that you do what you plan at the time you planned to do it. It means that you do not allow anything that you can control to impede your mission. Certainly there’s nothing you can do about unforeseen circumstances, the weather and the unknowns that may arise and land like a fly in your ointment – BUT – you can certainly pull yourself away from your Facebook page to make that conference call at 4 PM. J

 

Additionally, you should not allow other people to waste your time; if someone agrees to meet you at a certain time, then that is what needs to happen without excuses. Yes there are exceptions; however, the rule is that you show up on time or lose credibility with me. I’m sure people don’t like it when I’ve shown up late for an appointment – and I have – I don’t feel too good about it either because I value my time and I value others’ time as well.

 

Value other peoples’ time

If you value your time and you expect other people to do the same, then you must value other peoples’ time. The door swings both ways so as you place high value on your time so should you on other peoples’.

 

This comes with a caveat though; if a person does not value his/her time, more often than not he/she won’t value yours either. It stands to reason that if you place high value on your time, you will automatically place high value on other peoples’ time – well for the most part anyway.

 

I am not talking about the delusion of thinking that your time is more valuable that someone else’s; what I’m talking about is genuine value placed on time. One of the highest forms of respect you can pay someone is to show that you value his/her time. That earns you more brownie points than you can imagine; besides when you show others that you value their time, more often than not they will reciprocate. The fact is like attracts like so if you value yours, you will value others and vice versa.

 

At the end of the day…

Time belongs to no one; it is infinite and never-ending so trying to manage it is fool’s errand. Attempting to control time is futile; the only thing you can control is yourself. What you do with time is entirely up to you and when you begin to focus your energies there, your “time management” skills will undoubtedly improve. Highly Effective Time Managers understand this concept and that’s what makes them so efficient.

 

How will your day go tomorrow? J

How to Become a Highly Effective Problem Solver

Ever notice how some people almost always come up with great solutions over and over again – even in situations where there seemed to be no successful avenue? Ever wonder how it is that these people pull this off so consistently while simultaneously making it look easy?

These types of people are highly effective problem solvers; they know how to read a situation, discern what the real issue is and then provide creative solutions that lead to win/win outcomes. Individuals like this understand all too well the importance of addressing a problem at the root cause rather than supplying band-aids to cuts and bruises or prescribing medicine that address the symptoms only.

 

If becoming a highly effective problem solver sounds like a tall order to you – let me assure you that this is a skill you can learn as long as you’re open. Whether you think you are or not or you are simply seeking to improve on this area in your personal growth, the goal of this article is to arm you with the information you need to achieve the results you desire.

 

You will be able to not only come up with creative solutions to problems and/or issues but also reach people on a much deeper level than you have been able to in the past. There is no connection greater than the ones achieved when you reach another human being on the level that is most real to him or her. It opens up unlimited new avenues of possibilities in relationships and in life.

 

OK… so you might be thinking that I’m way too optimistic about the possible results you can achieve by becoming a highly effective problem solver… BUT… think about it for a moment.

 

Have you ever witnessed the transformation in people when you or someone else helps them solve a problem – especially one that has been a thorn for a while? They are immediately elated and simultaneously, their level of gratitude increases. In many cases, people feel the need to either repay you or pay it forward. It is inevitable that whenever you remove blockage in someone’s life, that person instantly becomes more open to possibilities that they could not see let alone believe while the blockage existed.

 

Highly Effective Problem Solvers are the types of people others are drawn to without even knowing or understanding why. It is the energy they emit that makes them magnetic and their circle of influence grows with each problem they help someone to solve. Highly Effective Problem Solvers understand that problems are not resolved by treating symptoms, you must focus on addressing the root cause. This is the only way to create solutions with long-lasting and positive impact.

 

If you truly desire to help others solve problems in their lives – stick around. I think you will find this article both enjoyable and informative. You will be able to apply the principles you read immediately and with practice, you will greatly improve your problem solving skills and begin to see profound, impactful and positive results in the lives of the people you help.

 

To become a highly effective problem solver, there are 3 elements of focus that when honed and sharpened will, in almost all cases, help you achieve profound, impactful and positive results. These 3 elements, all of Greek origin, are Ethos, Pathos and Logos.

 

First, let’s understand Ethos and how it applies.

 

Ethos encompasses your ethics and your reputation; the way you do things and how you’re viewed by others through your actions. Are you a person who truly desires to help others or are you just doing this for the glory?

 

Before a person can be truly open to listening to you and taking direction from you, he or she must first believe that your motives are genuine otherwise your words will fall on deaf ears. Highly Effective Problem Solvers are individuals who truly desire to help others improve their lives by helping them solve the issues that plague them. Even if helping others solve problems in their lives is not your sole purpose in life, once you’re in this mode, there is no doubt as to what is driving your actions.

 

Ethos demands that you earn the right to do what you do; that you be worthy of your audience’s respect. In some cases, your reputation will have preceded you and your authority will have been established by your title, accolades or some advanced promotion or introduction. Nevertheless, it is always important to provide a little detail as to why you are doing this; something that either establishes or solidifies your integrity.

 

This seemingly small thing will not only provide your audience a clear picture as to why they want to listen to you, it also penetrates the defensive walls people surround themselves with when they are feeling insecure. Furthermore, once the walls go down, people instantly become more open to receive the value that you bring to the table.

 

Now, let’s look at Pathos.

 

Pathos speaks to your capacity to empathize with others; feel their pain and truly understand their plight. In the role of helping others solve their problem, it is important that they believe first that you truly understand what they are going through. It’s simple really; if you don’t or can’t understand what your audience is going through, how can you possibly help them find the right solution? I’ve seen and heard so many people spew out high level advice with low level understanding.

 

To strengthen your Pathos, there are 3 basic listening principles you need to practice.

 

Firstly, remove all your pre-conceived notions or judgments about the situation. You must go in as a blank slate; a new canvas ready for a new drawing. This will increase your capacity to listen not only to what is being said but also to what is not which often times is more important. If you have no pre-judgments, you can truly act in the best interest of the individual you aim to help.

 

Secondly, you must endeavor to understand the plight of the person you are trying to help. Before you formulate any opinions, replies or advice, you must first seek to truly comprehend and appreciate the person’s situation. Once again, this only increases the value of what you will offer because when you truly understand the problem a person is facing, it gives rise to your creative self in providing the right solution.

 

Thirdly, clarify and restate what you’ve heard and understood; be sure to ask if your assessment is on point. This provides the person with room to either clarify further if you’ve missed the mark or simply smile in relief as he or she agrees that you have in fact hit the mark. More often than not, if you truly desire to help and you are truly listening with the intent to understand, you will hit the mark dead on.

 

Practicing these 3 listening principles will undoubtedly improve and strengthen your capacity for Pathos. It will show your audience that you are truly listening with the intent to understand as opposed to with the intent to reply. So many people miss what you are saying completely because they are too busy thinking of what they are going to say next.

 

When you strengthen your capacity for Pathos, your empathy will shine through and the person you are trying to help will recognize that you are actually in it with them; they will feel understood thereby making them open for your advice, direction and coaching.

 

Highly effective problem solvers are exceptional listeners; they understand that the reason they have two ears and only one mouth is so they can listen twice as much as they talk. In order to achieve your goals as a highly effective problem solver, you must aim to become an astute listener. Your goal is to hear as clearly in chaos as you do in silence.

 

Logos is automatically strengthened by improving Ethos and Pathos.

 

Logos speaks to your capacity for logic and reasoning. Your audience needs to feel sure that your advice is sound and your direction is focused. Highly effective problem solvers recognize that in order to truly help someone solve a problem, you must be able to marry the emotion with reasoning.

 

When you are exercising Pathos, you are validating the person’s feelings about their situation; you are showing that you feel his or her frustration. When it’s time to provide a solution, the solution must make sense; it has to be based on facts, statistics and/or experience. Whatever conclusion you draw, you must be able to show a clear line to that conclusion. Your logic must be based on correct principles rather than emotion. Essentially, your audience has to feel sure that you know what you are talking about.

 

This is where you must put your ego aside. Even if after listening and understanding the situation, you feel you are not the best person to help, logos demands that you direct the person to the best source that can help. Check your ego… check your ego… check your ego!

 

You don’t have to be a know-it-all to be a highly effective problem solver. Some of the most effective problem solvers are those that always know the right people and places to go to for help. Many highly effective problem solvers are just exceptional resource banks that you can draw on to find the answers you seek.

 

So remember, Ethos, Pathos and Logos – the great philosopher Aristotle thought of these 3 elements as integral to making a sound argument. As it turns out, they are equally effective in the art of solving problems.

Killer Series: 7 Steps to Building a Killer Team

Have you ever watched a high-performing team in action? Better yet, have you ever been a part of a high-performing team?

I don’t how many of you watched the show that the Chinese put together for the 2008 Summer Olympic Games but I can tell you it was truly a spectacular sight and accomplishment. This was the pinnacle of a high-performing team in action – what I like to call a Killer Team. The pure energy and masterful synchronicity was absolutely impeccable. They were fluid and flawless during every show and absolutely electrifying with every move. It was definitely a sight to behold and if you didn’t have the opportunity to see it, I can say without a doubt that you missed something very special.

I don’t know what they will do when the games hit London in 2012 but I do know they’ve got their work cut out for them. I have had the opportunity to experience the difference between a Killer Team and a team that gets killed. It is always a much happier, more productive, more efficient and more creative scene when you are on a Killer Team – as if that’s not obvious. It is so much more powerful that my ultimate goal when working with a team is to be a part of and cultivate a Killer Team. This is of the utmost importance the moment you begin to work in multiples.

 

Whether you are leading or are a part of a team, this should be your ultimate goal. Everything else that the team accomplishes rests with the way they are able to work together. It will be next to impossible to achieve any result of great value if your team is not working together. If some of you are pushing while others are pulling, it will create negative energy and in some cases wreak havoc on the whole team. Contrary to the popular belief – opposites do not attract, especially when it comes to teams.

 

Like-mindedness is essential for team success; the goal of the team must be the focus of every team member in order to achieve the best results. That being said, following are my best ideas on what it takes to build a Killer Team. I’ve broken it down into 7 steps that you can begin to apply immediately and achieve immediate and positive results.

 

 

1. Embody the mission

This is something that will come up over and over again on this website in some context or another. So many people embark on new journeys, start new projects or new relationships without ever creating a mission for what they want to achieve. It is actually ludicrous when you think about it; see yourself in your mind’s eye getting ready to do something or go somewhere without knowing exactly what it is you are trying to accomplish.

Does that make sense? Of course it doesn’t. That would only make sense to a moron and I know that’s not you.

 

So then, the first step in building a Killer Team is to embody the mission. Embodying the mission though means several things. In order to be one with your team mission, every member must be willing to commit to it without wavering; you must all see it through together.

Several things occur when a mission has been embodied successfully.

 

Creating and living the mission – when the whole team is involved in creating the mission, it makes them feel like they are a part of something greater than themselves. Their values become a part of the whole which makes it personal and therefore automatically commands more commitment. It is a lot easier to live a mission that you created than it is to live someone else’s; in fact I’d say it’s damn near impossible to live a mission you didn’t have a hand in creating. This is absolutely essential if you want your team to fully embrace the mission – be one with it. You must all be involved in the creation of it and then you must all live it every single day for maximum impact.

 

Clarity in purpose – nothing beats the knowledge of destiny. When you know exactly what you want to achieve and precisely where you’re going, it’s pretty difficult to miss the mark. At that point you only have to choose the right vehicles to get you to your destination – to your goal. A purpose-driven goal is one destined for success. Once every team member is clear on what the purpose is, expectations are aligned and focus is singular. This creates power beyond your imagination and productivity skyrockets under these conditions.

 

Roles & responsibilities defined – this cannot be stressed enough. I’ve seen so many teams implode because the members have no clue what each is supposed to be doing. This is what creates chaos on a team and breeds frustration that lead to conflicts that lead to undesired or disastrous results. It is absolutely imperative that roles and responsibilities are clear and that each team member knows not only what he or she is supposed to be doing but also exactly what each of the other team members are supposed to be doing. This is important in order to achieve maximum efficiency and efficacy. It allows your team to execute at a high level with the least effort. No double work!

 

The tie that binds – this is what embodiment of a mission does; it creates a deep bond among those who’ve created and are indeed living it. This is a very important element as you will see in the next step, Cultivate Synergy. If you create a mission together, live it daily together and commit together to see it through, this creates a powerful and almost unbreakable bond. It creates unshakable focus and through your commitment, it crystallizes your purpose – the team’s purpose.

 

2. Cultivate Synergy

Synergy is supremely important for any team to function at its peak. This is the pinnacle of togetherness in a common cause. When a team is synergized, each move they make is like flowing water; they move in fluidity and synchronized harmony. It’s really a beautiful thing to experience and if you have, you know exactly what I am talking about.

 

Cultivating synergy requires transparency and openness among all the team members. It requires the desire to listen with the intent to first understand each other and also the courage to state your point of view. It requires that, when trying to resolve issues or come up with solutions where you do not all agree, that you always seek

The Third Alternative

which is a solution derived from all the desires combined to create a better solution than any of the individual ideas – it promotes and demands win/win.

 

Furthermore, cultivating synergy also requires that you cherish teamwork in all facets and eliminate competition – at least against each other. Competition among the team can easily, and often does, lead to “I first and team second” and selfishness. This creates the “what’s in it for me” mentality which throws the whole idea of the team purpose right out the window.

 

Rather than promote competition, Killer Teams promote collaboration; they promote cooperation and fellowship. Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the table, members of a Killer Team sit on the same side. Side by side is better than opposing sides – both from a physical and psychological stand point.

 

When a team is synergized, trust is at its pinnacle – each teammate trusts the other to do exactly what he is supposed to do. Each member covers the other and is confident that his/her backside is covered at all times. If you are unable to trust your teammates, you will be unable to achieve success as a team.

 

Synergy is what made the L.A. Lakers of the 80’s and Chicago Bulls of the 90’s so great. The players trusted each other – they knew when to give the ball up to the next man. They seemed to always know where each other was on the court and every man seemed to know where he needed to be in order to receive the ball and sink a basket. It was like watching beautiful choreography when these teams played. 

 

3. Level the playing field

For the most part, every team has a leader as well it should. There should be someone in the director position – the person responsible for making sure the blueprint is followed and the goals are met. That being said, one of the most important elements of a Killer Team is a level playing field.

 

This means that no one and I mean no one is above the law so to speak. As a matter of fact, the first person upholding the laws of the team should always be the leader. His/her example should be like a shining beacon to all other team members.

 

Leveling the playing field is simple – it requires that every member of the team is accountable for his/her actions. Each person from the top down is held to the same standard and has equal opportunity to voice opinions, ideas and grievances without fear of negative recourse. Each team member must treat every other team member as an equal and with love and respect.

 

Leveling the playing field in this manner can often create powerful and unbreakable bonds – it fosters loyalty. When every team member knows that his part is just as important and is given equal standing to the next person’s, it becomes easy to commit. The purpose of the team comes alive and thrives in the harmony of collaboration – in synergy.

 

4. Foster heretics

Killer Teams are notorious for going against the grain – they often observe the masses and do the opposite. As such, even though a team usually has a leader, Killer Teams expect leadership to come from any rank, any position, anywhere. This is why they foster heretics.

 

Killer Teams are always looking for leaders – not just one. Heretics are leaders because they don’t wait for others to make change, they start it and others follow. Heretics abhor the status quos – they are not interested in the discovery from last week, they want to go forth into new frontiers and make the next discovery.

 

The best Killer Teams are usually made up entirely of heretics – leaders. Mindless sheep get left in the pasture while the heretics steal the dawn of the day. While you whine about breakfast, heretics are busy eating your lunch and stealing your supper. Killer Teams are known for beating others to the punch and the reason is that they only recruit innovative and forward-thinking individuals; those that would sooner crush the status quos than live a day by it. Killer Team members only like the status quos because it gives them a new challenge – it gives them a change to champion.

 

Killer Teams are at their best when they are fueled by heretics because there are leaders in every hall making changes and breaking new ground. When you are part of a team that operates this way, you are constantly in a state of inspiration because you see the world anew each and every day.

 

5. Discourage conformists

As Killer Teams foster heretics, something else happens automatically, they discourage conformists. Conformists are those who uphold the status quos – they fight for the status quos. Conformists hate change, they consider most change a threat and that’s why they live in fear.

 

Killer Teams have no use for these types of individuals because they know they won’t bring any creativity or innovation to the table. They will simply do what others are doing without ever giving a thought to change; even in the face of a broken system, conformists will still fight for the status quos.

 

A team of conformists create nothing, build nothing and change nothing. They simply do what they are told or what they are expected to do. There is a place for these people… in an ant hill. Ants are like programmed soldiers – they each have a job that they were born to do and they do it until they die. It’s great for an ant, probably get a medal or a crumb, but very sad for a human being.

 

As one comedian said of our 43rd president and I’ll paraphrase, “conformists do the same thing on Wednesday that they did on Monday, no matter what happened on Tuesday.”

 

Teams that consist of conformists are the teams that are getting killed by Killer Teams. Conformists are managers, not leaders; they manage the assembly line and do exactly as they’re told. Heretics are leaders; they chase all that is considered taboo in the hopes of positive change. Killer Team members are heretics because they thrive on change and crushing the status quos.

 

6. Be A Square

If you want to build a Killer Team or lead one, you must understand and master how to be a square. Ever wonder why it almost always never works when a third party tries to solve problems in a relationship, especially when no request was made for help? These people are usually told to butt out!

 

On a team, one of the worst things you can do is create triangulation in a problem. Triangulating a problem means taking a problem that occurred between and affected two individuals or two groups and inserting a third party to fix the problem. What usually happens is, the conflicting parties end up confessing each other's sins and then the mediator is left in the difficult position of deciding who’s right and who’s erred.  This almost always never ends well – at least one person usually comes out of this situation unhappy.

 

Individuals who build and lead Killer Teams never create triangulation in a problem. Instead, they promote one-on-one Third Alternative resolution. This approach basically says that if you have a conflict with another teammate, you agree to work through the issue together until you reach a resolution that you are both happy with. If a third party is ever inserted into the equation, it would only be because the conflicting parties both agreed that it was best in the course of resolving their issue.

 

When you build and lead a Killer Team, you must commit to being a square with every team member, no triangulation ever unless explicitly requested by both conflicting parties. Be a square and you will always be fair.

 

7. Get out of the way

Many teams have been thrown completely off track when this element gets muddled. It is possible to build and lead a Killer Team only to find that you’ve limited its potential by constantly getting in the way. Part of the reason for adhering to the 6 steps above is so that it makes it very easy for you to follow the 7th.

 

Once your Killer Team is in place and every team member knows what to do, as a leader your job is to now get out of the way. When you remove yourself from every nook and cranny, remarkable things begin to happen. Team members work together, creativity is high and results are astounding. I’ve seen so many talented leaders fail at getting out of the way so badly that the team failed and the mission never got off the ground.

 

I remember once when I was charged to lead a group of about 90 individuals at a company symposium. My task was to lead the team of individuals who were monitoring classrooms and catering to the customers. This by far was one of the most important leadership roles at the symposium. On the morning of the pep rally just before the event got underway, I was scheduled to give my team a pep talk – prepare us for what was ahead.

 

I said many things that morning but one of the most important things I did was recognize the incredible talent that was on my team, plant the seeds of the mission and then stepped aside and watched a well-oiled machine run. The results were, as you can imagine, astounding. I was confident in the tenacity of my team, I knew that it was packed with heretics and experience so I simply shared the mission, gained unanimous consensus with it and then provided a platform for them to execute – I got out of the way.

 

This is often very hard for leaders to do – instead, they try to control every outcome and every process. For the most part though, all they end up doing is managing instead of leading which defeats the entire purpose of building a Killer Team.

 

What kind of team are you on?

So, are you on a team? Where do you think your team falls, Killer or Getting Killed?

 

If you want to build teams that accomplish great things, you must be willing to commit to the 7 steps above. I realize that it may seem like you don’t have much of a choice when it comes to who is on your team, especially if you have a job; however, you can still be a heretic, a leader.

 

You can start your own Killer Team within a team. Perhaps you want to start a Killer Team at work whose sole purpose is to create positive changes in the workplace and stamp out the status quos. Just remember, the top doesn’t always mean the CEO, the top can start with you.

 

 

The Third Alternative

As a follow up to the last post, 7 Steps to the Killer Negotiations, I felt the need to really delve into the Step #6 due to the many conversations it has sparked. I didn’t realize that it would be such a controversial topic so I want to share my insights and conviction regarding the Third Alternative.

I’ve often been criticized or even ridiculed for believing that there is a third alternative in any given situation. I’ve been called an unrealistic optimist – my cousin wasn’t too shy about sharing her skepticism with me when we debated on the subject.

The irrefutable fact is though, that there is almost always a Third Alternative and we each have the responsibility to pursue it fervently in all our endeavors. There are those rare times when the Third Alternative is not necessary but I’ve found that in most situations it’s not only warranted but necessary.

What is the Third Alternative?

The Third Alternative is the synergy between two or more parties and their ideas that produces results that are not only desirable to all parties involved but is exponentially greater than the independent thoughts before they came together. (I know – long sentence; let me break it down a bit.)

Essentially, when you arrive at the Third Alternative, everyone involved in a given situation not only walks away happy but with much more than they’d expected in the first place. This, in the view of many, may seem an unrealistic goal especially when I assert that this option almost always exists in almost any situation. I believe it, I live it and I’ve seen it time and time again.

The Third Alternative is possible each and every time, parties get together to negotiate or resolve an issue. If they come to the table with the genuine intent to see that everyone is happy with the outcome to the situation, you will see the Third Alternative in action. Because people usually enter a negotiation or situation with different expectations, it is entirely possible that not every party will be happy at the onset of the process. Focused on a desirable result for all though, flexibility , understanding, creativity and ingenuity kick in to bring about a Third Alternative that is better than all the ideas put together.

The Third Alternative says that you are open; it says that you embrace the new; it says that you abhor the status quo; it says that you can change if the change leads to the good of all. This is what the Third Alternative is all about.

What’s Not the Third Alternative?

Before we explore just exactly how you arrive at the Third Alternative, I feel that it’s important to clarify what it is not.

The Third Alternative is not Win/Lose. In a win/lose exchange, one party always wins and the other always loses which means someone is going home unhappy – with a raw deal. This is not good for either party – even if the “winner” feels like he got away clean, it won’t be for long. Resentment is an emotion that often brews slowly and then unleashes in the nastiest ways imaginable. I don’t think the so-called winner would want to be the winner at this point. Also, Win/Lose doesn’t make for successful relationship cultivation either; it will be rotten before it even gets started.

The Third Alternative is not Lose/Win.  Again, it breeds resentment and distrust. People who go for Lose/Win tend to lack confidence and courage to pursue their desires which makes it impossible to ever reach the Third Alternative. The Third Alternative can only be realized when each party has the confidence and the courage to convey true desires – then and only then can the results be the best and magnified ten-fold or one thousand-fold for that matter.

The bottom line is that, the Third Alternative cannot exist among those who seek to win at all cost and those who seek to please at any price.

Those who seek to win at all cost don’t care how they arrive at the win just so long as they win. This is a short-term strategy that almost always has no longevity whatsoever and most probably no chance of survival in the long run. Those who seek to please at any price tend to whine and complain about not having meanwhile they consistently compromise their goals, desires and values to appease others in the hope that it will be better next time. This by and large is never the case because if you seek to lose – you will.

The Third Alternative in Action

There are 7 keys to seeing the Third Alternative in action aside from being a fly on the wall while it’s happening.

Genuine intent – your intentions must be pure. You have to go in with the genuine intent to seek a solution that is for the good of all parties involved. This has to be your mission in order for you to have the right direction – be guided by the correct map.

Be open – If you have genuine intent, then this one is easy – they go hand in hand. In order to reach the Third Alternative, you have to be open to other ideas. You have to embrace newness and change. When you seek the Third Alternative, the possibilities are limitless.

Confidence and courage – You have to believe in your position so that you can clearly state your desires. If you do not present your desires with conviction and clarity, no one will know what you truly want and therefore you rob others of the opportunity to consider your true desires. The Third Alternative requires truth in order to be realized.

Desire to listen and understand – This key is very important; you must have a true desire to listen and understand the other parties. This is the only way your creative self can truly seek the best solution. The better you understand the others’ desires, the easier it will be for you to find synergy among the ideas.

Be flexible – Flexibility is key because you must be able to adapt quickly and effortlessly when seeking the Third Alternative. This is the way you show your willingness to embrace newness and change for the good of all.

Be creative – Adhering to the other keys will more easily give rise to your most creative self. The Third Alternative requires creativity in order to be successful – to find synergy and common ground – to change.

Be prepared to walk away – This key is almost always not necessary because the other keys taken together are almost always effective. Still, if it becomes necessary, you must be prepared to walk away. Many people have a hard time with this concept – walking away from what seems like a good deal just because everyone is not happy. That is exactly what I’m saying though. If for some reason a creative Third Alternative is not possible, then this becomes the Third Alternative. It’s either a Win/Win or walk away. No deal is better than a raw deal – period!

It’s Unrealistic

Is it really so difficult to grasp – really? I believe that the people who say this are married to the status quo – leaders believe in the possibilities. Who decides what’s realistic and what’s not? Is there an authority designated in the area or realism that I am unaware of? I didn’t think so.

If perception is reality, then what I perceive is also real – the Third Alternative is always possible. I challenge you to try another approach to your negotiations; apply these keys and I guarantee you will immediately see the power of the Third Alternative in action.

As you digest this article… ponder this…

A friend once told me that the world is not BIG enough to be ideal. My response was that I believe that people’s ideals aren’t BIG enough for the world. What are your thoughts?

Killer Series: 7 Steps to the Killer Negotiation

I have seen it explained in many ways and watched it happen on different turfs and more often than not, the posture and position is always the same. People mistakenly enter a negotiation thinking that someone has to win and someone has to lose.

I know that the dictionary’s definition of negotiation states that negotiation is a compromise, a concession, a series of give and take or finding the middle ground. Personally, I think that the dictionary is limited on this subject and is quite shortsighted. There’s more to a negotiation than mediocrity which is where you end up when you seek the middle ground. The middle ground is short-lived because people on one side or both sides harbor resentment for not having achieved what they set out to.

In my view, there is definitely a higher purpose in negotiation and that is to achieve a win/win. A negotiation then, by the Dean L. Forbes definition, is a synergy of two ideas, the beginning of a fruitful and long-lasting relationship; it is a series of give-and-give where the ends meet the desires of both sides.

Many people will say that this view is terribly optimistic and therefore unrealistic BUT I beg to differ because I have had the experience of both and I do know that win/win is always better than win/lose and that win/win is almost always achievable. And, even when win/win is not achievable, there is still a far better option than win/lose.

Following are the 7 Steps to the Killer Negotiation. Study them and put them into practice; I guarantee that once you do you will discover how easy it is to consistently achieve the results you desire. You will see immediate and profoundly positive results in your negotiation skills and your personal growth.

Step #1: Know What You Want

I realize that this first step is obvious and that you surely don’t need lessons in it but in the spirit of being thorough, I’ll cover it anyway. You never know, they may want to publish this material in the “Dummy” book “how to” series.

Ok, where were we? Right… step one.

Before you enter any negotiation, you’d better know exactly what you want and why you want it. This will come up over and over on this website; you need to have a clear mission before you move. Begin with the end in mind at all times so that each move you make will be focused and purposed in achieving your mission. The clearer you are in your mission, the easier it will be for you to navigate a negotiation.

Knowing what you want though is more than just knowing your mission – you also need to know the why so that you can master the right content. Without the why, you won’t know how to process the information surrounding your mission. You will not be able to deliver your goals with clarity and precision. This means that you must answer the question of why you want what you want.

You should know how your mission will benefit you and others; you should know the impact and its significance and you should be able to clearly outline expectations. The last thing you want is to be surprised by any information you might learn during your negotiation – you must be prepared.

Step #2: Foresight is better Than Hindsight

Remember what I said just a line or two ago about being prepared? Well, this is the step where you bullet proof your preparedness. You may have heard the cliché, hindsight is 20/20 BUT I like to believe that foresight is even keener than that.

With the proper research, your foresight could be a magnificent asset in any negotiation. Before you set foot in at the negotiation table, make certain you go the extra mile on reconnaissance (That’s recon for the military junkies).  Find out everything you can about the market in which you are negotiating and know all you can about the other party at the table. The more you know about the other party you are negotiating with, the more you’ll be able to offer.

Armed with this information, you can anticipate questions, concerns and objections and make the necessary adjustments beforehand to accommodate their needs. There is no icebreaker more powerful than providing what is needed without being asked. Performing recon duties will help you tremendously in opening up the other party to your needs.

They will view you as intuitive and considerate and whatever tension was expected to be in the room will have dissipated because of your foresight. Besides, what good is hindsight when the deal is behind you? You want to affect the deal while it’s in front of you.

Step #3: Sit On the Same Side

Many negotiations start with the parties on opposite sides of the table. This is because most people view negotiations as a war between enemies so they sit on opposite sides of each other. They see each other as opponents.

This is not an effective approach because it creates distrust from the onset and those walls become harder to break down as negotiations ensue. A more effective approach is to sit on the same side of the table. This is not a war, you are not enemies and there is nothing to be gained in the others defeat. Instead of viewing the other party as an opponent, view them as partners seeking to help each other and work successfully together.

If you sit on opposite sides, the tone of the negotiation will be inflexible, standoffish and cold. Conversely, if you sit on the same side, the negotiation will suddenly become a conversation between two parties with great respect for each. You can share ideas and seek solutions without the BIG elephant in the room – no tension.

Sitting side by side removes the air of confrontation and introduces an air of camaraderie and cooperation. When you sit on the same side, it means no one is looking for a fight but you are looking for mutual and free exchange of ideas in order to reach the same goal – making each other happy.

Step #4: Understand What They Want First

This step is crucial in every aspect of your personal growth and it’s an essential element of negotiation. This can be a hard step to grasp especially if you are an eager beaver and all you can think about is what you want. In fact, most of the literature I’ve read on negotiation encourages this maxim – focus on what you want so you can convince the other party to give in.

Again – not an effective approach. If you take the position of self-centeredness you will be speaking to a closed audience. The other party won’t be open to listening to you because they don’t feel as if you’ve listened to them – they don’t feel understood.

This is why you must seek first to understand what they want. This means you have to listen emphatically to their desires, needs, goals and concerns. This is not an empty disingenuous portrayal of listening – you actually have to listen so you can truly understand what they want. Further to that, you have to desire to truly listen otherwise, you won’t hear what is being said and even worse, you won’t hear what’s not being said.

When you truly seek to understand, you do not simply listen with the intent to reply or just to go through the motions. You should listen ardently with the intent to empathize and to help; ask follow up questions until you can clearly repeat to the other party exactly what they want and also what their main concerns are. Once you can do that you will be able to clearly point out how what you both want will benefit them and help them achieve their goal.

Step #5: Reveal Your Vision

Once you’ve shown the other party that you understand their needs and goals, they will be more than willing to openly listen to what you want. Now is the time to courageously reveal your vision. I say courageously because even in the face of adversity, you must be willing to put your stake in the ground as long as you believe it will be of benefit to both sides.

Do not let what the other party said sway you from your mission… you can modify your delivery based on what you’ve heard so far in the negotiations but the end in mind remains the same. Passionately and enthusiastically tell them your story – help them visualize why you believe this partnership can be a fruitful one.

Whatever you do, don’t deter from your original vision – the one you prepared so diligently. It may contain some elements that the other party objects to but you can work that out later. The point is to infect them with your fervent delivery – make them see what you see. The more clearly you can do that, the more open they will be.

Step #6: The Third Alternative

Chances are, depending on goals and how effective you were through step 5, the negotiation could be over with both sides walking away happy. However, if there are still some things to fine tune, step 6 and 7 are essential.

The Third Alternative says that you can work together to come up with something better than what you both originally thought of. This means that one party comes to the table with one set of goals and the other with another set that don’t quite meet each other’s expectations. Instead of going for confrontation and win/lose, the third alternative says let’s put our heads and our ideas together to create a better solution than what we thought of individually. In most cases this can be done.

Seeking creative solutions often bring out the best in people. You find that what you thought was important isn’t so important after all when compared to something of higher purpose and value. Seeking the third alternative makes you highly flexible and adaptable and in so doing, no one loses and everyone wins.

Step #7: No Deal is better Than a Raw Deal

What happens if you are unable to reach a consensus? What if there is no third alternative to be had? What do you do when the deal keeps breaking?

I am a big fan of “Win/Win or Walk Away.” The fact is that, no deal is better than a raw deal. At some point you have to be willing to walk away. For me, that point is when one of the parties is about to walk away with the lose side of the deal. I know that it may seem like a lofty goal to always achieve a win/win however, I do think it’s possible and in the cases where it’s not – I believe that the solution is to simply walk away.

Perhaps this is just bad timing. Why sour a budding relationship with a raw deal? At least if you walk away now, you leave the door open to try working together again later. If you allow one party to accept a raw deal, the relationship will be stagnated and the fruits will rot before you are able to enjoy them. If a deal cannot be struck, walk away.

Do YOU Have What It Takes to Become an Effective Negotiator?

I don’t know… do you? This is a question only YOU can answer for you. I wouldn’t presume to make such a prognosis from where I’m sitting. J

What I can tell you for sure is this.

It depends on what you consider effective negotiating. If you think that someone always has to win and the other has to lose, then you are off to a bad start. Many people will and do disagree with my definition of effective negotiation but I can guarantee you that these same people don’t form long-lasting and fruitful relationships with the people with whom they negotiate – I have and I do – even when we don’t reach a deal we can both be happy with the first time around.

So if you want to answer the question honestly, first decide if you believe this approach is the right approach and then commit to living by the principles. Then and only then do I believe you will be able to master the Killer Negotiation.

One thing I won’t tell you is that anyone can do it but I’m willing to bet that anyone smart can do it

Priority Power

“Get your priorities in order.” “Set your priorities straight.” “Perform your tasks in order of priority.” How often have you heard these statements thrown around? Do you understand what they really mean?

There is no doubt that prioritizing your objectives is important – it helps you get things done with much less frustration and in the time frame you desire. It’s a sure bet that you’ll stay more organized when you set priorities. The problem is that many people don’t really understand what it means to prioritize. It isn’t as simple as making the most urgent thing in your life the #1 priority; this is what many, if not most, people do.

Working in Corporate America, I’ve seen so many organizations, divisions and teams run a muck in the area of setting priorities and executing them. More often than not, they commit the mistake of making the most pressing task the #1 priority; sometimes, this is the right decision but often times it is not because the root cause of that pressing task is never addressed thereby causing a repeated cycle of addressing the symptom of the urgency.

Smart doctors will tell you that, you can always treat symptoms; however until you address the root cause of your ailment, you will most probably succumb to it over and over again (i.e. the common cold).

Think of it this way: A man goes to the doctor and complains of a migraine; the doctor prescribes a pill and the man feels better for a while. The next week, he comes in again with the same problem so the doctor prescribes another pill and again he feels better only to come back the following week with the same complaint. On his third visit, the doctor finally asks the man, “When do you begin to suffer these migraines?” The man replies, “Every time I think about my ex-wife” to which the doctor replied, “Sir, if you really want to cure your migraines for good, stop thinking about your ex-wife.”

Yes, I am over-simplifying for a reason – I want to make it clear that addressing symptoms never work; they are only temporary fixes and therefore not important priorities. They may be urgent for instant relief but not most important for complete relief. To cure any ailment for good, you must address the cause.

Why do I use this analogy? It’s because executing priorities require the same mindset. Before you simply make the most urgent thing in your life your #1 priority, first ponder why it is urgent in the first place. There’s a good chance that at the root of it, you’ll find a cause you can address to make this urgency go away permanently. I find that most urgent matters, with the exception of life and death, are not as important as we are conditioned to believe they are. More often than not, these matters are only urgent because of the failure to prioritize and plan effectively.

The fact is that not everything that is urgent is necessarily important and this is where many individuals go off track. For instance, you may be at home feeding your child who just got up from a long nap and in the middle of that, the telephone rings. The impulse is to answer the telephone simply because it’s ringing; the ringing makes it urgent but is it really more important than feeding your hungry child? Of course it’s not. The thing is though that many people would pause the feeding and answer the telephone which is a natural impulse that comes from our conditioning.

It still befuddles me how often I am in a meeting where the person I am meeting with continuously answers the telephone each time it rings. This is because it seems urgent, BUT, is it necessarily important – could it have waited? Of course it could have. There’s a good reason voice mail was invented.

The first rule of thumb then is to list your priorities in order of importance, not urgency. There is a clear difference between the two so think about it before you prioritize. The order of importance can take many forms and contexts.

For instance, in your personal life, you might list your priorities in the order of what is most important to you. At work, you may list your priorities in order of what is most important to your organization and its mission. I realize that you may not always have the luxury to do this freely at your workplace so just do the best you can.

The point is that feeding your child is always more important than answering the telephone unless you are expecting a phone call that is a matter of life and death. This of course does not mean that you never deal with urgent, yet unimportant matters before you deal with the important ones. There are times when we must do that; however, if you are aware that this is the case then chances are this urgency won’t become a repetitive cycle for you because you know that the more important priority is to address the root cause.

In many organizations and in the lives of individuals, the goal is to set priorities and then execute them one by one in that order. This approach, as illustrated in the preceding paragraphs, creates a major roadblock to getting things done. This is because your #1 priority is not always the task that gets done first; it is simply the most important of all the objectives you’ve set to achieve.

Here’s what I mean. Let’s say you have 3 objectives on your priority list for the week and you list them in order of the most important to the least important. Your list might look like this.

1.   Yoga and Meditation Class – Monday @ 8:00 AM

2.   Business Planning Session Process Meeting – Wednesday @ 10:00 AM

3.   Business Planning Session Presentation – due Thursday by 5:00 PM

Now, review this list and think about these items for a minute. Just looking at the priorities as they are which seems more important to you? Let’s look at it through a simple scenario.

Let’s say that Yoga and Meditation Class is what gets you psychologically ready for a grueling week at work; it prepares you to meet whatever challenges come head on and without fear. From your experience you know you always produce significantly better results when you make it a point to attend these classes.

Now let’s say that your boss calls you Sunday afternoon and says, “We’d like to get started early on the Business Planning Session Presentation and we’re calling a meeting for 8:00 AM Monday morning – can you make it?” What would you say? I know that the automatic impulse of most people is to skip the class and go in early. Think about it though… are you really doing your organization any good? Wouldn’t you be more productive if you went to your class and simply arrived a bit later to the meeting? Sure, it’s not easy to say no to the boss; however, if you’re going to do what’s best for your organization, the choice is pretty clear to me.

Simply tell your boss that due to a prior and most important appointment, you won’t be able to make it at 8:00; however, you understand that this is important and you will be there as soon as you possibly can. He may not like it but certainly he will respect your honesty and your courage. Of course, you know the climate within your organization better than I, so make your own call.

Let’s go a step further and say that you and your team have been trying to hammer out the Business Planning Presentation but it’s been a frustrating road because there is no clear process in place. Let’s also say that the Business Planning Process Meeting has been on the calendar for weeks and has gotten pushed back a few times. Now, with the looming deadline of the presentation, the team is asked (or ordered) to push back the processes meeting to make more time for hammering out the presentation.

What do you do? In some cases, I realize that the call won’t rest solely with you and you’ll simply comply with the request. If you did have some influence though, what might you do? Sure the presentation is important but it’s also clear that the frustration, the root cause impeding the completion of the presentation is the lack of a process. Since that is the case, that means that while the presentation is the most urgent, it is certainly not more important than creating the process by which it is executed. Once a process is in place, the frustration of creating the presentation goes away.

Ok, I know that was quite the long way around but I wanted to make a point. With this scenario in mind, it stands to reason that executing in order of priority doesn’t always work. It is better to set priorities and execute around them keeping in mind what is most important. In other words, even if you chose to push the processes meeting back again, you would be aware that the process must be established before you create the next presentation lest you repeat the same cycle. This is the definition of insanity – to continue doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.

Priority Paralysis

Priority Paralysis is what happens when the most urgent thing automatically becomes the top priority. In essence, your exercise of prioritizing goes out the window because the most important priorities are constantly subordinated to the next urgent thing. It is easy to get caught up in the “activity trap” only to find that you’ve accomplished nothing that to set out to.

To avoid Priority Paralysis, you must list your priorities in the order of importance and then execute around them no matter what. If you find that you consistently repeat the same cycle of urgency with particular tasks, pause and review and then address the root cause – this is more important.

I realize that in some cases it will be harder to do this – if you have a very demanding job where the status quo is king, it may be near impossible; still, if you want to achieve at a high level, you must list your priorities in order of importance and then execute around them. Make sure that the most important objectives are not repeatedly subordinated to urgent and less important ones.

Priority Power

Priority Power is what happens when you set clear priorities in order of importance and then execute around them. This is when you understand that even though the most important task is not the first to be completed, that you are aware that completing it is top priority.

To develop Priority Power, practice to address problems at the root cause; endeavor to forego the ringing telephone and feed the baby. Know when to say no to an urgent request that is not as important as the priorities you’ve set. The more you practice, the easier it will become especially after you’ve experienced the profound and positive results you will undoubtedly achieve.

It may seem daunting at first to operate in this fashion but I promise you that if you put Priority Power into practice, you will see immediate and positive differences in your life, both personally and professionally. List your priorities in order of importance and then execute around them.

Where to Begin

I understand that this could be quite a circuitous road, especially if you’ve never tried this before. That noted here’s a brief outline of where you can begin your thought process in developing Priority Power.

Firstly, you may want to start by thinking from a macro frame of mind and decipher the priorities of your life. The reason for this is that, you will achieve greater success if your other priorities are closely aligned with your life’s priorities. The more closely aligned they are, the greater your chances of high-level success.

Once you’re comfortable with the priorities you’ve set for your life, you can begin to drill down from there into, career, volunteering, faith, softball coaching and so on.

Hey Dean, what about if I’m in a job where I don’t get to influence many decisions; what if for the most part people just do as directed? This will undoubtedly happen in some cases; however, you are not without a choice. You can still choose to prioritize what’s most important for you to achieve in that job.

For instance, perhaps you continue to execute as everyone else does the urgent but unimportant matters; however, your top priority may be to convince the senior management staff that there is a better more efficient way to do things. If you’re committed, I’m sure you can achieve the results you desire.

In the worst case scenario (or best case depending on how you look at it), you may even decide to walk away from a job or something else because it doesn’t align closely enough to the priorities you’ve set for yourself. I have done that on a couple of occasions and I haven’t regretted my decisions yet and don’t think I ever will.

Stop wasting your time living on the fire truck everyday and start living on the golf course.

Killer Series: 7 Steps to the Killer Interview

The mere thought of interviewing makes many people break out into cold sweats. In many ways, the interview process can cause so much stress, people lose their marbles. They may be as limp as a soggy cornflake by the time they actually sit down for the “BIG” talk. Do you remember your first ever interview? How do you think you did?

Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned vet, the interview could still be a stressful event in your life. The fear of rejection is high and the anticipation of failure can be rather dreadful. Weak knees, sweaty palms, woozy stomach and cotton mouth are all some people can imagine when they think of answering the deadliest question an interviewer can ask, “So tell me about yourself” which, by the way, is technically not a proper question but, you get the point.

Anyway, what if I told you that you could ace an interview anytime you want and leave the interviewer nearly stupefied by your masterful self presentation, he’d have no choice but to hire you on your terms, would that be something in which you’d be interested?

Good… stick around then!

Yes, the interview process may put the fear of the devil into some people but after reading this article and practicing the proven techniques shared, the devil himself will fear you.

Following are the 7 Steps to the Killer Interview which can virtually guarantee you ace every interview from this day forward.

Step 1: Killer Resume

Your resume is usually the first point of contact that a potential interviewer will have with you. As such, you want to make sure that it leaves a blazoning impression on the reader. The resume is so important to this process; I may have to devote an entire article to the topic. For now, here are some key Dos and Don’ts of resume writing.

1.    Unless you’re a recent college graduate, don’t begin your resume with an objective. Nothing screams amateur more than to begin with a “Resumes for Dummies” header like “Objectives:” Instead, start with something simple like “Overview of Qualifications” or “About.” It’s succinct and easy to digest.

2.    Do not use the term “Employment History.” Everybody else does and you’ll just be another rat in the pack. If you want to stand apart from the rest, use something like “Career Experience” or, “Overview of Experience.” Either approach will work way better for you in making that first impression.

3.    Don’t regurgitate your daily and routine tasks from one job to the next… that’s just “monkey work” and I guarantee you that no one cares and brownie points go way down. First of all resumes are tough to read as it is, why make it boring too? Instead of writing what your tasks are/were, exercise verbs in stating how you solved problems for your company or made them more money or saved them time and made them more efficient. In other words, your bullet points should begin more like this, Developed a new system that saved…, Implemented procedure that increased productivity by X%, Devised strategy that made the company $XXX in 3 months…, and so on and so on… you get the idea. Oh yeah… don’t forget to choose to highlight the accomplishments that are most closely aligned with the position for which you are interviewing.

4.    Please include your hobbies, awards and community service affiliations. This is who you are. Contrary to what many believe, no company worth working for wants to hire machines and buy people, they want to hire people and buy machines. Show them who you are. Besides, since most people present the machine, this will be another way you stand out plus it provides fuel for meaningful conversation and possible common interest connection during the interview… more on that later.

5.    Finally, under no circumstances include salary requirements. Even if the company insists, fight the urge to comply and tell them you’d rather discuss that in person.

6.    Spell check, proofread and then… save… print… send!

Step 2: Killer Cover Letter

Writing a Killer Cover Letter is definitely an art but can be easily mastered with a few pointers. Remember the cover letter goes along with the resume so here again is another opportunity to really present you. Don’t waste it!

Firstly, your cover letter is not your autobiography. It is not an endless pontification about your accolades and many talents. No one cares how long you can hold your breath under water before shaking and flailing like a fish on a hook (Unless they’re recruiters for the Navy Seals). What they do care about are the challenges their company faces and how you can help them overcome them. The only person that can let them in on that secret is you. The best way to utilize a cover letter is to use it as a way to align your skill set and experience with the position for which you are interviewing and the company’s goals.

To do this effectively, you want to use specific language and include certain elements to bring it home. Here are some key things to remember.

1.    Start by introducing yourself and stating exactly why you are contacting them; your language might read something like… My name is John Resume and I am writing you in regards to the Marketing Manager position you are seeking to fill in your Professional Products Division… simple, right?

2.    Next, state the main requirements of the position and then follow that with how your experience might fill their needs. Your language in this case might look something like… I understand that you are looking for someone who can do X and with my experience in Y, I know I can accomplish this with tremendous success…

3.    Conclude with a bold statement about their company goals and how you see your own goals aligning with them. Your language might look something like… I know that your company is spearheading many initiatives in clean air technology and I have done extensive community service work in this area…

4.    Keep your closing and salutation nice and simple. Your language might look something like… I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, John Resume…

Step 3: Killer Research

I wasn’t sure where to place this step because it affects the outcome of this entire process. Ultimately, I decided to put it somewhere in the middle since it impacts every step directly or indirectly plus, I like the number 3.

Skipping this step simply means you want the other guy next to you in the lobby to kick dust in your face as he refurnishes the corner office that was supposed to have your name on it… or was it? Research is vital to the interview process; it could mean the difference between the shredder pile and the resume that makes it all the way under the nose of the CEO.

Before you show up to interview, you want to know what you’re getting into… know the landscape so you can anticipate and navigate challenging situations. Be proactive in finding out all you can about the company, its mission, and its people. Done thoroughly, your research should cover 3 key areas, Company, Prep and Recon or as I like to call it CPR.

1.    Company – know everything you possible can about the company

•      Research the products and/or services the company provides and then summarize that into one sentence you can easily remember

•      Go through the website and any paraphernalia you can find to weed out the mission statement of the company

•      Make sure you look up their earnings for the last 12 months if it’s public knowledge – if you can get specifics on why the numbers look the way they do, even better

•      Know about any special projects on which the company might be working or are sponsoring

•      Know about their public service accolades

2.     Prep – I’ve never been accused of being too prepared

•      Study what you discovered in your research and make sure you know it well enough to carry a stress-free conversation

•     If at all possible – have someone of prominence from the industry for which you are interviewing, conduct a mock interview with you before hand… this could yield a lot of insights you wouldn’t gain otherwise

•      Know the three words you might use to describe yourself and be ready to give examples of when and how you’ve exhibited these traits in a past situation – ask your family, friends and colleagues for help if you need to for this one

•      Finally, know the fair market value for the salaries paid for the position with your level of expertise – perform several comparisons across different firms and industries if applicable (Try http://salary.com)

3.     Recon - fail to do this and your research and prep may be all for naught

•      Take the mode of transportation you will use, the train, the bus, a cab or your car and drive to the interview location during rush hour before hand to gauge the amount of time you’ll need to get there – then add at least 30 minutes

•      Visit the interview location in the morning to see what time people arrive, what they wear to work and whether or not they have coffee in hand

•      Find a coffee shop nearby where you might sit, have a coffee and wait for your interview

With CPR covered, you are armed to the teeth with everything you need to kill the interview. Do you feel the stress lifting already? Hold on, you’re not quite finished yet.

Step 4: Killer Outfit

Now that you’re completely prepared to kill the interview, you need to dress to kill. So many people dismiss this element without giving it a second thought. Why would you want to distract your interviewer by wearing inappropriate, boring and uncomplimentary clothing to the interview? Take the time to choose an outfit carefully, it will be time and/or money well spent.

Remember the recon tasks you performed earlier? This is going to help you big time with choosing the right dress code. You should now know what the employees wear to work… right? If not, go back to Recon. The aim is to pick an outfit that compliments the company’s culture and dress it up just a tad.

For example, if most of the employees wear jeans and a t-shirt to work by all means feel free to wear jeans, a t-shirt and then dress it up by throwing on a nice, classic blazer… no rips and tears in your jeans of course. If the idea of wearing jeans to an interview scares you, don’t let it. As long as the outfit you wear is in line with the company’s culture, you will be viewed as intuitive… trust me. Just remember, your killer outfit is meant to kill them, not you.

Here are 7 “general rules of thumb” on interview outfits and overall appearance. These apply to both men and women.

1.    Keep at least one navy blue and one pinstriped gray suit in your closet at all times

2.    Wear light blue dress shirts or blouses whenever possible – this color conveys trust

3.    Keep the jewelry to a bare minimum – watch, 1 chain/necklace, 1 bracelet

4.    Earrings are for women only – sounds like a double standard but it’s still true

5.    Hide all body art unless you’re interviewing for the NBA, a rock n’ roll band or a biker gang

6.    Absolutely no beach wear or flip-flops (I know I’m not talking to you here but I’ve seen some whoppers.)

7.    Grooming is a must – combed hair, clean nails, clean teeth, pleasant body and oral odor (Again, I know I’m not talking to you but in the interest of being thorough…)

What makes a killer outfit for an interview is one that resonates with the identity of the company for which you are interviewing as well as represents your personal style. You have to decide what that balance is and then go for it. If all else fails, nothing is sharper than a navy blue or gray pin-striped suit with a white or blue dress shirt. Depending on the company culture you can choose to where a tie or not.

Step 5: Killer Discipline

An impression is formed about you in the first 3 minutes of a person meeting you. Many of us will decide whether we like a person or not in less time than that. What this means then as it pertains to interviewing is that you want to maintain discipline. Your diligence in preparing for the interview may seal the deal for you before you’ve even exchanged the first words of the interview.

The fact is that what you say means less to people than what you do. It’s an old cliché but it is universally true – your actions speak louder than your words… one thousand times louder.

There are a few simple rules to follow when it comes to interview discipline.

1.    Be on time for your interview – by “on time” I mean that if your interview is at 10 AM, you arrive between 9:40 AM and 9:50 AM. You want to be no more than 20 minutes early and no less than 10 minutes early. This gives you time to hang up your coat, accept a coffee graciously from the assistant, relax and collect your thoughts.

2.    Use the bathroom before your interview – this is the time to handle #1 only… handle #2 at home and check to make sure all your efforts in grooming are up to snuff. With everything in its place, there will be fewer distractions.

3.    Dial down the wind chill factor – you’re not the “Fonz”… being too cool will backfire quicker than a lemon with fire crackers in the muffler. Maintain professionalism, you don’t get brownie points for the “Clint Eastwood” cool factor.

Step 6: Killer Instinct

This is where you shine, where you combine your wonderful research and prep with your wit, charm and charisma. These elements taken in combination will give you the Killer Instinct.

Now that you are prepared and dressed to kill, you can calmly and confidently field ambiguous questions like the dreaded “So, tell me about yourself.” For the sake of clarity, let’s make sure we understand what is really being asked with a question (or not a question) like this.

What the interviewer is really after is, how and why did your experiences bring you to us and how will we benefit from the association. With this insight in mind, it will make it much easier for you to focus your answer on the parts of your life that directly relate to the company and the position for which you are interviewing.

This is to say that “So tell me about yourself” is not an invitation to tell your life story. It is however and invitation to tell the interviewer everything about you that matters most to him and his company. The caveat is you have to give just enough information to wet his or her pallet and leave it somewhat open ended inviting a probe for more information if he or she so chooses.

For example, if you had an interview for a Marketing Manager Position at Lancôme Cosmetics and you were asked the dreaded question; your answer might sound something like this.

“Well, I have always loved make-up, especially mascara which is the department I worked in at XYZ Company. The idea of accessorizing my look with cosmetics has always been interesting to me and that’s why my Thesis in Graduate School was about how much women spend on cosmetics and how it makes them feel. I spend a lot of time in places like Saphora just trying different kinds of cosmetic products.”

Do you see how that answer might resonate more with your Lancôme interviewer than something that started out with the following?

“Well I moved to New York when I was 12 years old and I attended P.S. 252 Junior High School before going to Midwood High School. My major in college was marketing and once I graduated I worked at…”

To your interviewer, the latter would not only be boring but somewhat disconnecting unless he or she too moved to New York at around the same age and had a similar experience as you did… not likely but it would be a lucky break. Personally, I am not willing to take that chance… are you?

Another element of the Killer Instinct is the “graceful refusal.” This is the art of refusing to answer an inappropriate question and have the interviewer be happy with it or at the very least respect your position. This is often a scary moment for many but it doesn’t have to be.

This moment often occurs with the money question. “So, what are your salary requirements?” or my all time favorite “How much do you earn at your current job?”

Now really, what does this question have to do with this interview? That’s right, absolutely nothing! So, why ask the question?

In the halls of Corporate America where I’ve worked for 15 years, this question is what I like to refer to as “sizing up.” This is a great opportunity for the interviewer to accomplish 2 things.

1.    See how confident you are and whether or not you are able to think quickly on your feet

2.    See whether or not your salary requirements fit into there pay scale

Regardless of the motive though, this is a question to avert at all cost in an interview. It doesn’t matter at what level you are in your career; this question is taboo from all sides. It immediately places you in a box and there goes any leverage you might have. And, if you didn’t come in with any leverage at all, you’ve essentially turned over your fate to the interviewer because once you answer this question, they get to keep the ball and decide where it lands. This is a no-no!

If you are asked this question, remain calm, pause and then confidently reply something like this…

“If we are going to discuss salary, I’d rather discuss a salary for this position that you consider to be fair market value and in line with my level of expertise.”

OR…

“I realize that this may be a standard question, however, I’d much rather confine our salary discussions to the parameters of the position for which I am interviewing and my level of expertise as I am sure you will agree that these are most relevant.”

In choosing a reply like the ones above, you avert the question and leave the door wide open for dialogue and negotiation. Furthermore, any interviewer would be hard-pressed to argue or rebut your position. At the very least he or she would respect you and you would have shown that you are confident and shrewd…BIG pluses.

Whatever you do, don’t answer this question out of fear. I have never answered this question and I have used variations of the suggested replies above and they’ve worked every time. At the very least, trust your instincts and if you can’t trust yours (yet)… trust mine. I’ve been there and I am sharing my experience with you… leave this question alone and you will undoubtedly separate yourself from the many lambs that are doomed to the slaughter.

Step 7: Killer Close

You’re not quite finished yet. Now that everything has gone as planned right through the interview and you’re feeling great about yourself, no need to blow it by neglecting the little things.

The clincher to the deal may just be the Killer Close. It’s simple and may even be deemed trivial by many when you look at the whole. I on the other hand believe that more often than not, it’s the other way around. Without the close, all your efforts in steps 1-6 may be forgotten. Don’t forget that the interviewer may have seen many candidates before you and probably many more after. You just never know so it’s your duty to make sure that he or she remembers you and that you stand apart from the pack.

As my father used to say when I was growing up, “Dean, observe what the crowd is doing and do the opposite.” These are wise words that ring true in almost any situation and certainly in this one.

While others may forget this small detail, you will perfect a memorable Killer Close that will leave your mark on anyone you meet.

So, what’s the Killer Close all about?

This is where you crystallize all your efforts from step 1-6; it’s where you make sure that the impression you made is a lasting and positive one.

The Killer Close entails 3 simple steps and if followed could make all the difference in the world.

1.    The closing handshake – once your interview is finished, reach across to the interviewer with your right hand to shake his and then grip his elbow firmly with your left hand and say something like… “It was a pleasure to meet with you and I look forward to meeting with you again. Thank you for your time.” Former President Bill Clinton is famous for this type of exchange. It’s a professional approach with a personal touch that makes people feel validated… use it!

2.    No more than 24 hours after the interview, send an e-mail to the interviewer letting him or her know how much you enjoyed your meeting and are looking forward to another. Your e-mail should be succinct and personalized with one or two specific details of the interview. This emblazons you in the mind of the interviewer. It could read something like… “Dear Mr. X, It was a pleasure to meet with you today. I enjoyed our conversation especially when we discussed corporate social responsibility. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for your time.”

3.    Wait 5-7 business days and if you have not heard from the company, send a follow up e-mail to say thanks once again for the interview and request that they keep your name on file. The purpose for this is to keep your name top of mind so that if other opportunities arise in the company, you are one of the first called. Your e-mail could read something like… “Dear Mrs. Y, Thank you for meeting with me on (Date goes here). I realize that it is a competitive market and I understand if you have already filled the position for which I interviewed. Please keep me in mind and my resume, which is attached for your reference, in your files should another opportunity become available at your firm. I look forward to meeting with you again.”

Going beyond these 3 steps is not necessary unless working for this company is your ultimate goal. If that is the case you should continue to follow up via e-mail once every 3 months with inquiries about new opportunities. One caveat is that this could border on annoying and persistent… it will depend on the contact person and substance of your e-mails.

Well, these are the 7 Steps to the Killer Interview and I have used them all successfully on several occasions. I can share with you from first hand experience that these techniques work very well.

Happy hunting...

Fire Truck vs. Golf Course

Having worked in Corporate America for over 15 years, I have functioned in both systems and one is always more successful than the other. The two systems to which I am referring are the Fire Truck and the Golf Course.

Firstly, let’s get some definitions out of the way.

The Fire Truck System is one of constant crisis – burning buildings and fires to put out. Every situation seems to be an emergency and the more emergencies you put to bed the more that wake up. It’s a never ending cycle of rubber boots, fire hose and hard hat duty.

The Golf Course System is just the opposite; it focuses on synergy, solution-oriented, win/win and integrity. Every crisis presents an opportunity to improve and every deal made is another opportunity to grow, change and surpass the last. It is a never ending cycle of teamwork, handshakes, networking and relationship cultivation duty.

Now I’m pretty sure that if I were to ask you in which system you would rather work, you would immediately say the Golf Course System.

However, what if I asked you in which system do you most likely work? I’m willing to bet I would get a different spectrum of answers. Certainly not all of you, but many of you are use to the Fire Truck System – worse, some of you aren’t even sure and in that case you might as well be working in the Fire Truck System.

My goal with this article is to help you first, figure out which system you currently work in and if you find that you work in the Fire Truck System, the goal is to help you switch gears and move into the Golf Course System. Clearly, that’s where all the fun is.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sidebar

This article is not only serious; it is seriously long – over 4,000 words. It’s well worth the time to read; however, if you are pressed for time, don’t forget you can always print it out for when you’re ready later. All articles on DeanLForbes.com will provide you with a user-friendly and clutter-free print out for and easy read over your favorite beverage.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Few Important Points

It is important to note that it is entirely possible to work in a place where the norm is to work on the Fire Truck but you still work on the Golf Course. In fact, I’ve often seen the two co-exist at the same firm; the moment I figured this out many years ago, I consistently began striving to work on the Golf Course even though many of my colleagues continued to work on the Fire Truck.

It is also important to note that if you should find that you currently work on the Fire Truck and you endeavor to switch to the Golf Course, there is the possibility that you may need to work somewhere else in order to achieve your goal. I’ve also had to do that because the environment was such that working on the Golf Course won’t be fun if everybody else insists on working on the Fire Truck. Surely, you could decide to stick it out and wait for something to change – the question becomes is it worth it? Personally, I make it a point never to wait for things to change before I decide to change things and I always teach the same to others wherever I speak. I admit that patience is not my strong suit but ultimately you have to make that decision for yourself.

One other important note is that whether you work on the Fire Truck or the Golf Course, there are times when the two overlap and it will be up to you to recognize the difference and switch gears to get back on the Golf Course. Additionally, it is imperative that you know the difference between the two because both systems require hard work to maintain – it is a consistent effort. They both keep you busy – one is just a lot more productive and more fun than the other.

The Fire Truck

When you work on the Fire Truck, your entire day is a ball of crisis. There is always an urgent deadline looming, unanswered e-mails piling up and an endless onslaught of unproductive and predictable meetings. There are 5 key elements that keep this crisis mode going – the fire is constantly fueled by these elements hence the reason for constantly being on the Fire Truck. Let’s look at each of these key elements in more detail.

No Mission

Fire Truck workers are usually clueless as to what the mission is. They lack direction and focus either because the company for which they work did not convey the mission or they simply have not established one. Either way, this makes for a very confusing atmosphere.

Everyone is busy working with different goals in mind only to find that they are usually unable to reach consensus. Instead, a series of meetings occur and they end up with either a low level compromise of the boss simply tells everyone what they should do.

This creates immediate and on-going problems because when you are constantly in search of the mission and consensus eludes you, execution becomes a big chore and logistical nightmare all because you don’t know what results you’re suppose to expect. Things still get done but usually after countless unproductive and stressful hours of back and forth, meetings and compromises. This could drain the energy from almost anyone.

Often times, Fire Truck workers don’t even have a plan for the day. They walk around aimlessly with their heads in chaotic smog. They may as well be puppets because they only move when the strings are pulled.

Status Quo

Fire Truck workers are more concerned about the status quo and keeping things safe than they are about making a real difference. With the looming deadlines and mounting urgent e-mails on the brain, thinking outside the box just takes too much effort. They would rather simmer down the fires; get everyone out of the building safely only to repeat the process the next day and all the while nothing impactful has happened.

Fire Truck workers are bored and the status quo they strive so hard to maintain are boring. And this is as it should be since they have no mission to get excited about. If you have no direction, you have no clue where you are going then you have nothing to which to aspire.

If we take Forrest Gumps’ view on life, as told to him by his mother, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” This is of course because of the different flavors that might come in a box of assorted chocolates. Why then do so many people crave chocolate to the point where many say there’s no such thing as too much chocolate? It is not about the flavors because they may not know what flavors they are going to get but they definitely have a direction, a mission. The mission is about the feeling – it’s about how chocolate makes them feel when they eat it. It’s indulging – it’s decadent and sinfully sweet.

The point is nothing can kill your excitement and aspiration more than a lack of direction and focus. No mission, no aspiration – the status quo is maintained.

Too often, especially at large corporations, there is a real struggle with change. In fact I have actually experienced situations where those who wanted to simply maintain the status quo went to war to prevent the innovative thinkers from changing things. People fear change and that fear cripples growth, it stifles creativity. People who move against the grain are brave, they don’t want to be fire truck workers – they are excited about new possibilities and the risk doesn’t even come close to the thrill of making a difference.

That being said, Fire Truck workers are in fact wimps and cowards – they are not brave and they allow fear to conquer them. It’s harsh yes but it’s still true – if you remain on the Fire Truck then just plan to be a coward the rest of your life.

Meeting Mayhem

The calendar seems to be the worst enemy of the Fire Truck worker because instead of working for him, he ends up working for it. Fire Truck workers often don’t even bother to review meeting invitations to make sure it’s relevant to their function or project. They blindly accept every meeting thrown at them assuming its importance or more probably assuming their importance for having been invited in the first place. It doesn’t matter that the meeting was scheduled to discuss which vendor they should go with for the new water cooler.

The onslaught of meeting invitations turns their calendar on its head while they struggle to keep up with it all the while not getting any real work done. Sometimes you work in an environment where this is the norm and it’s not feasible for you to change it at this time but there is no reason you can’t change jobs. I know… easier said than done but what can be easy is the decision to go – how and when you can figure out once you’ve made up your mind.

Again, this stems from the first key element and continues to resonate through the rest. Fire Truck meetings consistently include these traits in some way:

No Agenda – comes from the lack of focus and mission highlighted earlier; the erosion trickles down into day-to-day tasks

No Leadership – Fire Truck meetings don’t have leaders, they have fire starters; these people serve only one purpose to throw gasoline on the fire; you know a few people at your company right now that are like this don’t you?

No Synergy – no works together in Fire Truck meetings; everyone is there for self, to improve status and gain career shares

No Solutions – Fire Truck meetings are notorious for magnifying problems and equally notorious for dim-witted solutions; solutions are usually a way to either repair or maintain the status quo – how boring

Too Predictable – once you go to a Fire Truck meeting, you pretty much know what’s going to happen and you know that you’re going to need another senseless meeting to discuss the non-solution of this meeting

Blame Game and C.Y.A

Fire Truck workers probably spend more time on this activity than any other. Instead of focusing on creating and delivering value, they perpetuate the Blame Game and the Cover Your Ass (C.Y.A) maxim.

The Blame Game comes in different forms; sometimes you don’t even realize that a person threw you under the bus until you get the call to come into the boss’ office. One of the most common ways Fire Truck workers assign blame is to simply “pass the buck.”  In passing the buck, you delegate pieces of your project to others in a futile effort to absolve yourself of accountability. When things go wrong, you say I wasn’t supposed to do that, Joe Smith was. Of course since this was your project in the first place, it doesn’t really absolve you of accountability but Fire Truck workers don’t know the difference and if they work with other clowns like themselves, no one calls them on it.

Another popular way to direct blame is to plant the seeds of doubt in a person’s absence. While the person being blamed is not available to defend herself, it’s easy to insinuate that she was responsible for the last fiasco that wasted everyone’s time and the company’s money – low… very LOW! Instead of defending absentees, Fire Truck workers tend to tear them down – albeit very subtle in some cases.

What about C.Y.A? This is the quintessential way to make sure that everything bad sticks to the other guy… or so Fire Truck workers believe. C.Y.A. says that at every opportunity, make sure you let everyone know that you didn’t do it but the other guy might have. No one takes responsibility for neither his own actions nor his teammates. Covering you ass is just like getting by – you do just enough to make sure no one blames you but not enough to ever accomplish anything worthwhile. At the end of the day, you’re just an annoying little wall fly that people can’t wait to swat.

Problem-oriented

Perhaps the worst thing about being a Fire Truck worker is the fact that you are usually driven by problems. You are constantly pointing them out throughout the day. This is where most of your focus is and this is also what causes “Crisis Mode” to ensue. Fire Truck workers tend to be fire starters but have little success with saving the house. Eventually they put the fire out but by then, all your possessions have been burned to a crisp.

The very problem with a problem-oriented person is that they almost never have any solutions to the problems they are constantly identifying. They simply point out problems in the hopes that someone else, perhaps a Golf Course worker, will answer the call and come up with a solution. There are many CEOs that have fired people for this very thing – they abhor problems and reward solutions.

So why do so many people constantly get behind problems? That’s because it is easier to identify problems than it is to come up with creative solutions. The easiest way out is the best way out – if you ask a Fire Truck worker that is.

The Golf Course

Conversely, when you work on the Golf Course, your entire day is ball of deliberate acts. Unforeseen circumstances may arise in your day but they do little to impede your course. Your productivity and efficiency are high and your relationships flourish. There are 5 key elements that contribute to the harmony of the Golf Course – these elements constantly cultivate and nurture synergy hence the reason why the Golf Course worker is always happier than the Fire Truck worker. Let’s look at these key elements in more detail.

A Mission

Golf Course workers always have a mission engrained in their being. Whether it’s the one provided by the company they work for or a personal one, they always have a mission. In fact, the most successful Golf Course workers always have a personal mission and they only work for companies where they can succeed in this mission. The company mission is usually subordinated to their own because they know that if the company values are not in line with theirs, it will be next to impossible to succeed at that company.

Golf Course workers are focused individuals – they have a plan for their lives and they usually have a plan for the day. They are not aimless; every action is one of purpose and is driven by a deep determination to achieve the results they desire. When you work on the Golf Course, nothing is left to chance – there are usually no accidents. Even when an occurrence seems like an accident, it is usually as a result of a series of purposeful acts taken by the Golf Course individual.

What is even more powerful than being a Golf Course worker is being a Golf Course worker who works with other Golf Course workers on a Golf Course. (Hope you caught all that…). This is the ultimate euphoria in the Golf Course maxim – it just doesn’t get much better. Let me put it another way…

…I once worked for a fortune 500 company at one of its youngest and most promising brands. This brand was the envy of all the other brands within its division. Many people would constantly ask – what is about this place why employees don’t leave. Even as people jumped ship left and right at the other brands, turnover remained extremely low at this brand. In the beginning of my tenure, even I couldn’t put my finger on it.

It wasn’t until I went to the biggest event that this company sponsored for its most valued customers that I really understood. It was the spirit! The spirit of the brand had for the most part infected everyone from the corporate office to the customers. They all exhibited the same passion and excitement about the brand. They loved getting together and learning from each other – it was almost cultish. Before I left that event though, I was also deeply touched by the spirit of the company; I understood why it was so successful. It was the people – they loved what they did (do). There aren’t many people who can say that honestly.

This is what happens when you have a clear mission – you have direction – you have focus. You can act without provocation because you know exactly what to do and where you’re going – you know your mission.

Change

Golf Course workers are all about change, they thrive on it. Don’t misconstrue what I’m saying though – the mission doesn’t change but methods and avenues do. When you’re focused on the desired results, the way you get there doesn’t much matter as long as it’s in line with your core values. Golf Course workers understand this and that’s why they readily embrace change.

When things remain the same, Golf Course workers find it boring. They have no desire to simply blend in with the rest of the sheep – they are about making a difference – adding value and changing for the better. No one can see you if you are the same as everyone else. Golf Course workers are leaders and they are always looking for the next great cause that incites them to move.

When you work on the Golf Course, change is an accepted way of doing things. It is innovative, exciting and new. Golf Course workers are always willing to “boldly go where no man has gone before.” (If you didn’t get that – never mind, you had to be there.) They’re brave and the unknown is what drives them to explore and discover. No new discoveries were ever made by anyone who refused to try something new.

In a nutshell, change is the opposite of status quo and change is more fruitful than the status quo. Golf Course workers are changers and they want it no other way.

Relationship Cultivators

Golf Course workers understand the importance of building and nurturing relationships. They are all about synergy and teamwork. Golf Course workers are interdependent people – they realize that the pinnacle of human success is to work well with and in service to others. Every deal begins with a relationship.

Being relationship cultivators, Golf Course workers are always interested in the needs of others before themselves. They seek first to understand the other person before seeking to be understood. They listen with the intent to help and add real value to someone’s situation – to someone’s life.

A common misconception of relationships is that they are give and take – this is not so, at least not of fruitful relationships. Fruitful relationships are all about giving – no taking. Taking implies getting something that was not given to you freely. Even if you expect to get something from a relationship, they key is never to pursue a relationship only with the intent to gain… this can only end in disappointment.

Golf Course workers seek to give in every way they can to a relationship they want to build. In some ways it may seem like just a strategic ploy but if you are genuine in your actions, the rewards will be the same and bountiful.

When Golf Course workers attend meetings, they do so with purpose. They aim to be productive and efficient. There are a few things that a quite clear before a Golf Course worker walks into a meeting.

Agenda – a clear purpose for the meeting and the main talking.points are outlined.

Leadership – they lead the meeting with human sensitivity and respect of others; they do not allow the meeting to spiral down into irrelevant innuendos and pontifications. They clearly control the meeting tone and tempo.

Synergy – Golf course workers always look for ways to synergize teams; they look for ways to work together by listening emphatically and intuiting the needs of others.

Solutions – Golf Course workers always go into a meeting looking for solutions; they only focus on a problem long enough to clearly identify it and then spend the bulk of their time focusing on creative solutions.

Unpredictable – You never really know what going to happen in a Golf Course-run meeting – anything could and usually does because Golf Course workers are flexible and open to all the possibilities. They close no door without due exploration.

Proactivity (Technically not a word but I think they should add it to the dictionary)

Golf Course workers are proactive individuals. They don’t play “the game” just to suit others or appease circumstances. Rather than react to the crowd or circumstances, Golf Course workers are proactive in the pursuit of their mission.

Instead of looking to blame others, Golf Course workers look to build and work with others. Instead of tearing down absentees, Golf Course workers defend them. Golf Course workers don’t hit “reply all” on every e-mail just to confess other peoples’ sins to the world. They take responsibility for their actions because they know that they and only they are accountable for them.

Instead of planting seeds of doubt, Golf Course workers plant seeds of praise. They don’t set people up to fail, the build them up to win. The only type of situation Golf Course workers want to be in is a win/win situation. They do not believe in cultivating relationships where one side wins and the other loses – they proactively seek alternatives where both sides come out smiling.

The C.Y.A. maxim does not exist on the Golf Course – it has no place. Every step is taken with the good of the team in mind. If there is no team involved then each step is taken with the good of all parties involved. It’s more like C.E.A. – Cover Everybody’s Ass. This is because Golf Course workers believe in synergy and teamwork. They understand that the greatest achievements come to fruition through interdependency. They realize that their most powerful resource is the strength, tenacity and creativity of others.

All the key elements that make the Golf Course thrive require proactivity – without it, all else fails.  Golf Course workers proactively seek to excel in these key elements day after day.

Solution-oriented

If you work on the Golf Course, it means that you are driven by solutions and not problems. You focus more on results than methods and you proactively seek creative solutions to problems. Instead of simply pointing out problems, starting fires and burning down the house, Golf Course workers identify problems and then immediately look for solutions.

When Golf Course workers uncover a problem, they don’t run to the boss whining about it in the hopes that he’ll kiss the “boo boo” and make it better. That’s the wimp’s way out! No – when Golf Course workers identify problems they only go to the boss when they’ve either fixed the problem or when they have done the research and come up with several creative solutions to the problem. Usually, they save the company tons of money and time in the process.

Golf Course workers don’t start fires – everything they do is focused on preventing fires. I mean seriously, have you ever seen how well a golf course is cared for? Have you ever been on a golf course? I’ve been on some of the best ones in Hawaii and I can tell you, the view is absolutely serene, especially at sunset. This is why the Golf Course system is so tranquil. Instead of seeking to upset the harmony by setting random fires everywhere, Golf Course workers seek to affect changes that promote harmony.

Problems don’t sit well with Golf Course workers; that’s why they focus on solutions. At the end of the day, this is what matters – solutions.

Some Hard Questions

So, where would you say you work right now – on the Fire Truck or the Golf Course? Where would you prefer to work? What are you going to do about it? If you do find that you work on the Fire Truck, are you prepared to do whatever it takes in order make a SWITCH to the Golf Course?

Seriously though, if you have to think too hard about this, you’re just another wet noodle. The Golf Course doesn’t belong to those who wait for the day to seize them, it belongs to those who go forth and seize the day – just ask Tiger Woods.

Come on – don’t be a coward – take some responsibility and stop being such an insistent whiner. Too harsh for you – then you’re not who I’m talking to. I know, it’s blunt BUT truth is truth and deep down inside you know it.