Powerful Principles of Personal Growth

7 Secrets to Authentic Happiness

I don't know anyone who doesn't want to be happy. I think deep down that is what we all seek. In my experience many people have no clue what Authentic Happiness is let alone what it takes to achieve it.

I have had the great fortune to hang out with and learn from some truly happy people. I have also experienced true happiness. While I don't claim that I am always in a happy mood; I can say with certainty that I am truly happy with my life. Regardless of the challenges that come along – I remain happy.

Have you ever felt like happiness eludes you? Do you sometimes wonder what true happiness is? Perhaps you're just wondering whether or not you are happy or are meant to be happy.

In any case, the purpose of this article is to outline for you what I am calling the 7 Secrets to Authentic Happiness.

Secret#1: Look Within

You may have heard this before and may have even scoffed at the idea; however, this is so simply true. All happiness begins within. If you cannot experience authentic happiness internally, you will never be able to experience it outwardly.

All physical manifestations are a result of our thoughts and belief of those thoughts. Consistently looking outward for happiness is an effort in futility because it's like expecting wake up in the morning and make yourself a cup of coffee without ever having the thought that you're going to make yourself a cup of coffee.

Yes, it's oversimplified but I want you to get the point. All happiness comes from within – it begins with the spiritual and your belief ushers it into fruition.

Secret #2: You're Perfect

That's right – YOU – WE are all perfect! Why?

Because we are all born with the ability to be who we want when we want. There is nothing stopping us. The universe is perfect which means it can only produce perfection. Imperfection only exists because of our lack of awareness of all that is perfect which is everything.

Authentic Happiness requires that you understand, believe and know that you are perfect just the way you are. Since we are able to change our circumstance and conditions at any given time, we are perfect because we can change.

To put it another way, being flawed is perfect. Flaws are just another mechanism of perfection through which we are able to learn new things and grow. Some flaws stick with you longer than others but only because you have not yet thought differently and believed differently about those flaws.

Essentially, we remain the way we are for as long as we continue to believe that it is the way we ought to be. Once we are convicted in the belief that we can, should and will be something different – then and ONLY then will we change.

This is why you are perfect and truly happy people understand, believe and know this.

Secret #3: Everyone Else Is Also Perfect

It might seem obvious; however, I thought it best to overstate it lest we find ego rearing its ugly head. As you are perfect – everyone else is also perfect. Truly happy people not only see themselves as perfect, they see all others exactly the same.

The fact that other people may not realize that they are indeed perfect the way they are is irrelevant to a truly happy person. Truly happy people know that all other people have to do to experience authentic happiness is to see themselves the way that they see them – HAPPY.

Trust me – this one is super hard for me too; There are plenty of people in my circle that I don't think of as happy. I do realize though that until I can see them that way, I will not be truly happy in this aspect.

Whenever I have been able to see in my mind's eye everyone around me; that I come in contact with as happy – truly incredible things happen and it feels amazing.

I'll promise to continue working on this if you will. Deal?

Secret #4: Make a Difference

It's hard to be happy if you don't believe that you make a difference in your life and in the lives of others. No, it's not an ego-centric thing – it's a feel-good thing.

Why else are we here if not to make a difference in people's lives in some way shape or form? Regardless of how we each do it, what would your existence mean if you made no impact.

At the end of your life, what would you want people to say about you? Were you a teacher, a scholar, a mentor, a giver, a doer… what?

It doesn't much matter what your life amounts to as long as you believe and know that you used your true gifts and talents to make you and those around you better. No matter what your profession or business, it's important to make a difference.

Truly happy people don't do anything just to make a living – they do everything to make a difference. Now, let's not be naïve – we all need to make a living because we have physical needs in this physical world that need to be met. The bottom line is that regardless of what we do, making a difference in the lives of others is supremely important for having authentic happiness in your life.

Secret #5: Have a Servant's Heart

Sometimes you'll hear people ask "how can I serve you today" which is great except that most have no idea what it means to truly serve others.

Authentic Happiness requires that you have a servant's heart. In other words, no matter what you do, your goal is to serve others. Some people may think that living a life of service is somehow beneath them; however, truly happy and successful people will tell you differently.

In fact, that is the definition of life for happy and successful people… to live a life of service. To have a servant's heart you must always genuinely seek to create and deliver value for others through your gifts and talents.

Secret #6: Be Grateful

So often we forget to give thanks; show appreciation for what we have. No matter how big or small, it is important to show gratitude for all of our blessings. In fact, truly happy people never ever focus on what they don't have, they focus on giving thanks for what they do have.

In the world of authentic happiness, there is no such thing as "have not."

It's quite simple…

You see if the universe is perfect and you are one with the universe, it means that you are also perfect. If you are perfect then it also means that all things around you are perfect and are such to the degree you believe them to be.

This means that whatever you do not have is simply because you have not yet truly believed that it is already yours. Once you come to that realization and believe it wholeheartedly, your desires will manifest automatically.

Showing gratitude is one sure way to improve your belief about your abundance. The law of gratitude says that the more grateful you are for what you have, the more things you get to be grateful for. How amazing!

Secret #7: All Things Are Possible

Truly happy people believe something that most others don't – that all things are possible. YES, all things – no matter what you think or believe – all things are possible in a perfect universe.

Authentic happiness is about believing in infinite possibilities because different things make different people happy. If you only believe in what is possible for you, it will be hard for you to see others as happy especially if they pursue things that you do not believe are possible.

For instance…

I am not about to stick my head in a lion's mouth just to make you gasp in amazement; however, the guy who truly enjoys that is still happy. Why should I see him as anything else just because he's doing something that I believe is impossible for me. That's called projection.

Just because I see no reason or have no ability to do something doesn't mean it is impossible or meaningless. Possibility lies with your belief. Meaning lies with what we see rather than with what we're looking at.

Well, there you have it… 7 Secrets to Authentic Happiness which of course as you may have realized by now aren't so secret. These are all insights that most of us are familiar with; however, we often forget and need a refresher. I know I often do and I am grateful for reminders.

I truly hope that this helps you to be happier in your everyday life.

 

From Dean's Library

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5 Things I Did to Discover My Purpose in Life

We all have a unique purpose in life – whether we believe or not or know it or not. Each and every one of us is born to deliver greatness to the world. While I have written extensively on finding purpose, I have never shared my personal journey in discovering My Purpose.

I know that it can seem daunting to many to undertake the task of discovering what you were truly meant to do and be; however, once you do – you will want to do nothing else.

Before I discovered my true purpose in life, I had no idea how to go about such a thing. I wish I had had a blueprint to help me. Sure, I had read plenty of books, been to a lot of incredible seminars and rubbed shoulders with who's who in the zoo of personal growth gurus – BUT – I hadn't garnered any results as far as my purpose.

The fact is that even though I was growing and changing for the better for a number of years already, my focus and direction were still very blurry because I had no clue what it all meant or what I was going to do with it all.

Through the whole enjoyable and continuing journey though, there were definitely some things that I can pinpoint as crucial in helping me to discover my purpose.

In hindsight, if I knew then what I know now – I would have been pursuing my purpose a lot longer than I have been. Nothing before it's time though I guess…

So without further adieu – following are 5 Things That I Did to Discover My Purpose in Life.

1. Looked for the common thread

Each of us has a natural affinity towards certain things. So often we don't pay enough attention to these things because we're too busy fulfilling other people's dreams. We get caught up in doing the things we have been conditioned to believe we're supposed to do.

In discovering my purpose, one of the things I did was examined my past and present to see if there were any common threads in the things I did. Additionally, I was looking for clues to the things that I did over and over again in one way or another that not only made me feel great but added value to other people's lives as well.

It took a bit of time; however, I eventually began to see exactly what the most common and fulfilling thread was in all my experiences. I started to see that regardless of where I was and what I was doing in my life, I always found myself in the role of counsel, advisor, trainer and motivator.

It didn't matter what type of job I had; even as far back as my days in Junior high school, I could remember how for whatever reason I gravitated toward helping other people see themselves the way I saw them – BETTER.

I've always been an optimist – Thanks Mom and Dad!

I credit my parents with this because growing up, I was never told that I can't; I was always told that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I put my mind to it. This is to say that the recurring theme of my past and present had been that I loved being involved in developing others and helping them to find their voice.

Here are a few life experiences from my past that illustrated this.

1988 Junior High School I was a brand new Jamaican immigrant in a school where being different was like having the plague. The most ridiculed immigrants at the time were Haitians. Well it just so happens that even after finding out my best friend's secret – THAT HE WAS HALF HAITIAN – I just didn't care no matter what other people said. In fact, I always loved and embraced our differences and learned a lot from my friend. Hanging out with his family I learned how to speak a little Creole and eat delicious Haitian food. I always told him that it didn't matter where he was from or where he was born or lived – it only matters who he is and that we're friends. Of course I don't deserve a medal for that; however, even back then I just saw something better in him that even he saw in himself at the time and since I wasn't raised to be intolerable of others in any way, the fact that he was half Haitian didn't even register on my radar – Who Cares? Ki sa ki nan patnè yo. Kouman ou ye? (Too easy if I tell you; look it up )

 

1998 Iron Horse Productions At one point in my life I was deep into the music game. I was a rapper/producer. Although I didn't realize it at the time, this was when I first started to really train and develop other people. Our team was stocked with young artist all looking to become stars. Now while we didn't break any superstars, we did put out some really great music. Although I was a lead artist on the label, one of the main things I did was help other rappers learn to understand the heart of music and how to interpret it in a way that helps them express themselves more effectively through it. Essentially, I was teaching these young artists the importance of feeling the music and letting it speak to their souls. I also taught them how you express their brand more vividly through their dress, speech and swagger. All of these elements were and still are very important to crystallize as an artist. Most importantly, we had a very talented Trinidadian rapper on the label who had a very hard time properly saying words that started or ended with "th." It really threw off his incredible rhymes. Through a series of exercises and with practice I was able to help him overcome his rapping impediment to the point where unless he really wanted you to know, you couldn't tell he had an accent at all. Basically, I trained and developed our team of artists on skills, personal branding and expression as well as speech. All of which were integral to our success. By the way, my moniker in the music business was Sage and here's a link to the last piece of work my partner and I produced… http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/wizwurkz ENJOY!

 

2009 L'Oreal USA – Redken 5th Avenue By this point in my life I was pretty certain what I wanted to do. I was working for a great company and enjoyed the opportunity to explore many options. 2009 though is the year of the defining moment for me to go full throttle with my purpose. I was selected to lead a group of about 90 people at the largest hair and beauty show in the US – the Redken Symposium in Las Vegas. Never before had I been in charge of such a huge and significant event and with so many people looking to me for leadership. With all that I had learned over the past decade from my mentors, from teachers, from seminars and the gazillion books on personal growth and development I had read – this was the moment that crystallized it all for me. Without going into the nitty gritty of the event – I'll just say that it was a huge success and the team I was charged to lead did an outstanding job. We were so successful that I was invited to rewrite the process for the next Symposium and given a vote on the person that would lead this team in 2011 at the next Symposium. It was after this event in 2009 that I decided to launch my blog so that I could reach more people and positive affect many more lives. It was this event that triggered a passion so deep inside that I instantly knew what my purpose was and what I needed to do to make a difference. Ever since that time in 2009, I have done nothing but find more ways to create and deliver value for others through my gifts and talents and I am absolutely loving it!

These are just a few examples that really stuck out to me. There have been countless other examples with the same common thread and I don't expect that portion to change because I am doing exactly what I am meant to do.

Whether or not my stories mean anything to you is irrelevant – the point I want to really get across is that to discover your true purpose it helps if you can look into your past and present and find some common threads that not only made you feel great but served others as well.

2. Made it a part of my everyday life

Once I found the common thread, I began to make a conscious effort to integrate it in my everyday life as much as possible. I began to consistently look for ways that I could be of service to others.

The best part is that I was doing these things without any expectations of compensation or accolade at all. I just wanted to serve and help others in any way I could through my gifts and talents.

Whenever I was in a situation where I knew I could add value by helping others see themselves better than they did, I jumped at it. Of course I did my best not be an obnoxious know-it-all – (didn't always work ); however, my intentions were always good.

In any case, eventually it got to the point where I didn't have to think about it anymore – it became a habit. Not only was I on autopilot; my reputation preceded me and suddenly, others actually sought me out for help which I was only too happy to provide.

The more I sought to help others find their voice, the more others sought me out to help them find their voice. It was crazy but that's how it happened and still does.

3. Gave the gift of my purpose to others

Once my purpose picked up momentum, I kept feeling like I needed another outlet. As more and more people sought me out for help it became clear that I could even help more people find their voice.

This contemplation is what led to the launch of DeanLForbes.com. I figured that while I was helping people face to face, I could also help others that may be far away or just not available to meet. Also, as my influence grew, I knew I would have the physical capacity to serve everyone in a one-on-one setting.

This blog gave me new voice – a more expansive and far-reaching voice which was just what my purpose needed to take things to the next level. DeanLForbes.com has led to numerous speaking engagements as well as syndication on a top Internet radio show – The Big Corey fresh Show. I did a segment called "Insightful Minutes" with Dean L. Forbes. The show is now off the air since The Big Corey Fresh Show took the UK by storm; however, it was a lot of fun while it lasted.

Since the launch of my blog in 2009, I have received nothing but love and support which I am so grateful for; and the opportunities keep on coming and flowing like a river gone wild. It continues to be an incredible journey.

4. Gave thanks for having it to give

I cannot stop giving thanks for this blessing so I gave it back then and I still keep giving thanks now. The more grateful I am for discovering my purpose, it seems the more opportunities come my way that I get to be grateful for. Everything I do must be in alignment with my purpose.

I will never stop giving thanks for this great gift.

5. Accepted whatever consequences came

As you know, you can't please everyone no matter how much you want to. I realized early on that not everything I did or will do will be accepted by everyone or for that matter even appreciated by everyone.

That's ok with me though because we are all different and furthermore I only care that I truly believe that I am serving others and that in the course of doing so I harm no one. Once those criteria are met, I'm good.

As one of my great teachers always said, "Do what's true for you and learn to live with the consequences." In everything we do and every choice we make there are consequences. All you have to do is make sure that you make choices that are in alignment with correct principles and the consequences you reap will be positive.

Quite frankly, if you aren't happy, sad, laughing, crying or pissed off after you read one of my articles then I am not doing my job. My articles are meant to provoke emotion… to wake you up… make you painfully aware of where you are so that you can see clearer where you want to go.

Sometimes what I write will hurt and other times it will make you feel butterflies but always, my goal is that what I write helps you grow in the most positive and profound ways. If I truly love you then I am ok if acting in your best interest hurts a little or even a lot. I'm good with that.

These are the 5 main things that I did to discover my purpose in life. You may categorize them differently; however, I truly hope that sharing my personal journey to discovering my purpose helps you either find yours or become further convicted in what you've already discovered.

 

From Dean's Library

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21 Powerful Tips to Make Your Everyday Life a Breeze

Even though we don't always know what will come our way on a daily basis; we can choose how we deal with whatever comes. In our everyday life we have the power to choose how we live each and every moment.

Following are 21 powerful tips to make your everyday life a breeze. These are in no particular order and as simple as some of them may seem, they truly work wonders when put into practice.

1. Give Thanks

This is the first and last thing that I practice to do everyday – well most of the time anyway.

Showing gratitude for what you have is a great and uplifting way to start and end your day on a positive note. It puts you in the right mindset so you can be happier throughout the day and have peace of mind when you slumber. The more grateful we are, the more we get to be grateful for.

2. Give You

Give something no one else can – YOU. Just make sure it's the real you, genuine and authentic. We all have a unique greatness to give to the world and the more of that you endeavor to give to the world, the happier you will be.

3. Smile

As my wife so eloquently puts it; S.M.I.L.E. – See More In Life Everyday. Ever notice how when you smile at others, most of the time they smile right back? That's because smiling is contagious and it makes people feel good inside. It releases certain chemicals in the body that just makes you feel so darn good. So just smile and mean it and you'll be happier everyday.

4. Help Someone Else

There's simply nothing more fulfilling than helping someone else to get what he/she wants or needs. Helping others is most powerful when you help without expectation of compensation. That is the true definition of serving others and it always feels incredible.

5. Pay It Forward

Just as helping someone else is fulfilling so is paying it forward. When someone touches your life and you return that gift by touching someone else's, it is truly a beautiful thing. And again, it feels tremendous. Your everyday life will significantly improve if you constantly seek to pay it forward – give back as a way of saying thank you.

6. Laugh at Yourself

Please don't take yourself so seriously. Life is too short so laugh at yourself. When you can laugh at yourself it means that you're not obsessed with perfection and that you realize that you're perfect just the way you are – flawed.

7. Let Stuff Go

This is definitely important for a happier life PERIOD! Many people believe that forgiveness is for the forgiven; however, it really is for the person doing the forgiving. Letting stuff go ensures that you can move on without ill feelings that perpetuate negative emotions. So, just let it go.

We have a rule on my team – doesn't work so well at home right now – BUT – on my team we either address an issue within 24 hours of its occurrence or we agree to let it go without prejudice. One simple rule that works wonders; try it.

8. Keep It Real

Just don't sugar coat things to the point where reality gets watered down. It's ok to be empathetic; however, make sure you still keep it real… say it like it is with kindness and learn to live with the consequences. Believe me; you're better off telling it like it is and living with those consequences than obscuring the real deal and having to deal with the ensuing fall out.

Most importantly, be vigilant about not lying to yourself; especially about who you are. Unless you know and accept who you truly are, you will be hard-pressed to know how to become who you truly want to be.

9. Love More

Way too much hate in the world that sucks up way too much energy that could be used for more positive endeavors. Your everyday life instantly improves in amazing ways when you project nothing but love. Wish the best for all and truly mean it and you'll see far better results that participating in the opposite.

Ever notice how the more down you are the universe works harder to keep you down? And conversely the more up you are, the universe works harder to keep you up? This is the natural law of love so just love more.

10. Judge Less

No assumptions, no preconceived notions and no JUDGEMENT. When you judge, you end up having to make justifications for your position which only leads to more judging which gets very negative very fast.

11. Have Faith

Have faith in yourself, others and in the infinite possibilities of the best of everything. It sounds lofty – I know; however, it is truly a powerful feeling when you make it a habit.

12. Have Fun

This one goes without saying. I mean if you aren't having fun, then you're not smiling and projecting positivity. Just imagine having fun everyday with what you do, where you go and the people you connect with. How awesome would that be?

Have fun and never work a day in your life again.

13. Exercise

Yes, we all know we should do this; however, how many of us really stay consistent. The fact is though that exercising can make you feel so much better about your day. It is an absolute brilliant start to your day because a good workout often puts you in the right mindset to face the rest of the day.

In my experience, I always feel great when I exercise consistently. Conversely, I don't feel so great when I slack off… if you've been there then you know what I mean.

14. Make Lists

Lists help keep you focused throughout your day. As we know, everyday life can throw so many different things at us. Lists help us stay on track and avert chaos.

15. Make Plans

Just as lists are important so are plans. It's interesting to notice how when you know exactly where you're going things always go a lot smoother. When you have a plan, it makes dealing with hiccups much more efficient and effective because you're not all over the place and confused.

16. Promise Less

No need to make so many promises; it doesn't make you a hero – especially if your mouth keeps writing checks that bounce. Making a promise is not as important as doing what needs to be done. You don't need to announce your good deeds; the properties of your deeds will do all the talking for you.

Besides, you could easily ruin your reputation by making promises you are unable to keep; however, no one ever got a bad rep for doing a good deed.

17. Deliver More

Even though you promise less, always deliver more. When you deliver more than is expected people never forget what you did. Not that you expect anything in return; however, this habit always returns more to you than you could have imagined. So, simply put – promise less and deliver more.

18. Follow Your Conscience, Not Your Heart

This might sound strange to you because the popular saying is "follow your heart." The truth is that even when people say that, what they most often mean is "follow your conscience."

This is because the heart governs your emotional center and we all know that our emotions don't always point us to the right thing to do. Emotionally, we are often torn; our conscience though – our spirit is our true compass.

That feeling you get deep down inside when you know something isn't right – that's your conscience speaking to you. Your everyday life will be so much better if you can follow your conscience.

19. Check Your Ego

Ok, Ok, I'm working on it.

Yes, it is not always about you. Most people are so busy thinking about themselves; they don't have time to think about you. Stop believing your own hype and focus on helping other people. Help others get what they want and you will get what you want.

Check your ego and you will learn a lot more through humility.

20. Seek Help

Just as it is important to be humble; it is also important to remember that no one is an island. We can't truly succeed alone so ask for help. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help. Just be sure you only seek help from qualified people to help you address your needs.

21. Love Yourself

This one is an obvious no-brainer but so often we forget to do it. Many people don't even know what it truly means to love themselves. Essentially, it means accepting, appreciating and approving of whom you truly are. Before you truly love others, you must first love yourself. If you don't love yourself, your everyday life will definitely stink.

Well, there you have it. A simple list that I am sure you can add to easily. These are just 21 tips that came to mind from my experience and the positive results I have been able to achieve through these powerful habits.

I truly hope they help you too.

From Dean's Library

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The True Definition of Faith

A while ago I wrote an article titled "Faith is Not Blind", wherein I stated that there is no such thing as blind faith. While I stand firm on the context in which I explained my thought process, I feel like there was something missed in that article – the True Definition of Faith.

The goal then of this article is to provide a simple outline of what faith truly is and how it works. This way, no matter how it is phrased or said, you will have a crystal clear picture of how it operates in our lives every day.

Let's Define Faith

The first thing to understand is that faith is not a physical thing; it is spiritual. It is an attitude; a state of being in the mind. Faith is not just about our religious experience but rather the DNA of our belief system. Those who have great faith always accomplish more than those who lack faith especially in oneself.

Why is this important?

This is important because in understanding the true definition of faith, we must recognize that simply believing in something does not completely define true faith. To put it simply you must believe period.

In a nutshell, Faith defined is your belief that you know that you know that what you believe IS and therefore unshakable.

I know… a bit tough to grasp. Let's see if we can crystallize for you the application of true faith.

The Principle of Faith

As with all principles – faith is unbiased and unchanging in its function. This means that we are the directors of how faith is applied to our lives. The life's blood of faith must flow from the vessel cultivating it. Just as a match can provide light during darkness or destroy a house; it is so with faith – it depends on who is controlling the vessel.

Let's dig deeper to get a clearer picture…

Negative Faith

Negative faith or misplaced faith emerges when we believe that there is another universal power other than GOOD. To think that one person's prayers are answered and another's ignored is to believe that the universal power that binds us all is one of bias…utterly ridiculous.

I mean, regardless of how you refer to the higher power in which you believe – I am certain you will find that no one believes there is any evil or negativity associated with such a power.

That being true – how then could there be anything but the existence of anything evil when the higher power is Omnipresent and Omnipotent? It's simple then…

Only negative faith – our misplaced faith could cause us to suffer and spread any misery. Simply put, it creates a major conflict in state of mind and being when your belief system is that there is the universal GOODNESS of God and also the universal EVIL of the devil. This means that you believe there is BAD in the world. This is negative faith.

Now, I am not naïve – certainly bad things happen all the time; however, it is not because evil exists, it is because the awareness of good and the leadership to adhere to it is lacking. Thus, where bad things happen, you will find a negative faith – the belief that EVIL exists and manifests on its own.

The truth is that GOOD and EVIL can only come about as a result of our state of mind and being… our level of faith.

Let's look at the flip side…

Positive Faith

Positive faith or rightly placed faith emerges when we believe that there is only one universal power without opposition. When we not only believe but know that we know that there is one universal mind, body and soul from which all thoughts, things and results flow – this is positive faith.

The true definition of faith is to affirm the universal GOODNESS and dispel any thoughts to the opposite. In other words, to overcome all the negativity in the world is to have positive faith.

The main roadblock for most when it comes to this concept is that they do not understand it and therefore find it difficult to believe. It has long been taught that there are opposing forces in the world because of the physical manifestation of man's actions.

This is why it is so imperative to understand and furthermore KNOW that all physical manifestations are born from the spirit of man. The universe only knows to do as we command it and therefore our thoughts and beliefs drive the universes physical manifestations.

The bottom line is that our thoughts and beliefs create the results we achieve.

Now, if you can believe that, imagine what the world would be like if we all also understood, believed and knew that the universal power that binds us all is only GOOD. There is no BAD but that which we create through our negative faith. It is through positive faith that we see the GOOD in our physical manifestations.

Let's look at prayer as an example…

Regardless of how you do it, if you pray with doubt, the results you achieve will be doubtful. Why is it that some prayers seem to be answered and others not? Do you really believe that the all-knowing power in the universe sits on a judge's bench and arbitrarily decides which prayers to answer and which ones not to?

Of course not!

The person who prays with conviction and confidence knowing that he/she has already receive the gifts of prayer will always see his/her goals manifest physically. So then, the opposite is also true; the person who prays with doubt and lack of confidence hoping that he/she receives what is requested may not always see his/her goals manifest physically.

Positive faith means that all good is a foregone conclusion and all that is left to see it manifest is to act in accordance with your faith knowing that the universal power that binds us all will create that which was commanded through faith.

The Application of Faith

There have been many instances in history where strong faith was credited for miraculous events. It cannot be disputed that where faith is strong great things happen.

The application of faith is simple; however, not as easily applied because most of us have been so conditioned to believe that it is limited. In order to apply faith to your life fully, it is crucial that you understand that faith is limitless. Through faith anything is possible and no boundaries exist.

All things are done unto you as you believe – ALL THINGS. This does not mean that we control other people's choices; however, it does mean that we are in control of how we respond to them… a full explanation of this concept is in another article I wrote here.

The true definition of faith says that if we ask, it shall be given to us. What this really means is that our state of being determines what the universe creates for us in the physical. All our needs and desires already exists in the spiritual, we only need demand it through our faith – and belief that the universe will procure it – and it shall be so.

Spiritual matter is all around us waiting to take form as soon as we command it to do so. If you can have positive faith in yourself, in your fellowmen and in the universe, you will see that ALL IS GOOD. This is the way to apply faith.

Faith by Design

Since faith is a principle built upon by belief it is important to understand that we are in control of our convictions. If we can become truly convinced that all that we need is available, then it shall be so.

I know… it sounds too simple BUT – it is true.

Mostly, the problem with this is that the concept of faith is either totally misunderstood or just too hard to believe in its simplicity. Either way, it produces negative and misplaced faith which in turn produces negative and misplaced results.

Faith by design means that we must endeavor to know that we know that all is good; that the universe will procure that which we command without question. He who believes that his prayer will automatically be answered receives as such because he walks in true faith.

When there exists in your mind no contradictions to your faith and you are convinced of its limitless power, then you will see the equivalent manifest in the physical. Faith by Design is no different from Growth by Design – it is a choice – YOUR CHOICE!

Pure faith is spiritual conviction; it means you embody an idea, a concept that is unshakable in its function and application. It is the way of your belief which fuels your faith. Essentially, to believe in any contradiction to your faith is to say that your faith can exist in opposition of itself. This simply cannot be.

The universe cannot oppose itself; this is the reason why all is good – all is available and only through our awareness of and belief that it will procure all our needs will it do so. This is the true definition of faith.

Pure Faith

Since the highest mental attitude of faith is often found in the religious setting, it is important to note that this is also where most often faith is limited. The reason is because more often than not, at least in my experience, the application of religion conditions its followers to believe that they are LESS than the higher power to which they pray.

Pure faith is exactly the opposite; it says that you are the higher power – we are all a part of the universal force that binds us all. This means that we all possess within us the incarnate spirit with the limitless power to create a world of our choosing.

When we believe that we are LESS, we make excuses for not behaving alike the same universal power that we acknowledge. In pure faith you understand and know that the universal truth is no different from the individual truth which is that our state of existence is our doing. If there were any contradictions to this then the universe would destroy itself because it cannot exist in opposition to itself nor can we.

Pure Faith then means that what you receive is not what is given to you but ONLY that which you are aware of, believe and have faith that you can have. In essence we give ourselves everything that we get – we only have to have faith and it shall be so. This is why you have to be careful what you wish for – because you have negative faith and think the worst all the time – that is all you will give yourself.

I truly hope that this article has given you a better understanding of the true definition of faith and that it helps you to achieve your goals.

 

 

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How to Live Life to the Fullest

Life is truly what you make it. There is no mystery to this simple fact – it simply is.

Some of us have never experienced this; others of us have on some level and yes there are some who live life to the fullest all the time. Does it seem impossible to you that it is possible to be happy all the time no matter what is happening?

What would it mean to you if you had a simple guide – a formula – for achieving the happiness you desire virtually every single time?

The goal of this article is to help raise your awareness to and understand the elements necessary to create the life you truly desire. Following are the 5 elements that can help you Live Life to the Fullest when put into practice.

Element #1: Love Yourself

This seems pretty obvious; however, so many miss the boat on it completely. Loving yourself means that you must truly accept, appreciate and approve of the person you are. If, when you look into the mirror, you do not love the person looking back at you, then you must endeavor to change that.

In order to love yourself, you have to pay the price to become the person you truly want to be. There are no shortcuts to this – as long as you behave as someone other than the person you wish to be, you can never truly love yourself.

Element #2: Love Others

Yes, I do mean all others no matter who they might be. Loving others is a key element if you wish to live life to the fullest. It is far better and easier to show love than to exude hate. When I say love others – I mean act lovingly and caringly towards all others – not just a select few.

So, what does this really mean?

Obviously, there will be those you come across that you won't necessarily get along with or click with; perhaps you might even encounter someone else who is downright hateful and full of anger.

Here's the bottom line when it comes to loving others…

It means that you must have the courage to always give others what they need and not necessarily what they want. In other words, although sometimes what a person needs is also what they want, it is not always the case. This means that when you truly act lovingly towards others, you must be willing to love them enough to let them go or tell them "NO" if that is truly in their best interest.

Sometimes the best way to show love is to let people go from our circle so that they can learn some things on their own or simply without you. There's no use maintaining a relationship with someone else if they do not choose to nurture it.

The bottom line is – love others by always treating them the way you wish to be treated.

Element #3: Enjoy What You Do

It is impossible to live life to the fullest if you don't enjoy what you do. In fact what you do is unequivocally linked to your happiness. It is through what we do – how we add value – that we find true fulfillment.

When you are happy in your work you produce happy results for yourself and other people. If you feel miserable about going to work and doing your job when you wake up in the morning, chances are the results you achieve will mirror that feeling. How you feel inside will be projected outwardly on others in some way shape of form.

So, enjoy what you do – this is a crucial element in your pursuit to live life to the fullest.

Element #4: Serve Others

Along with enjoying what you do, it is also important to serve others. Truly successful individuals possess a servant's heart. They understand how to truly serve other people. Regardless of how you serve, what you enjoy doing must be of value to others in some way. Whether it is direct or indirect, adding value to other people is extremely important in your journey to live life to the fullest.

Furthermore, while enjoying what you do is fulfilling; truly serving others provides the opportunity to make a difference – be of significance in the lives of others. Our legacy is based on how we have affected others – not ourselves. This is why it is imperative that what we do affect others in positive ways.

In my experience there is no greater feeling than knowing that you've played a small part in another's success.

Element #5: Pay the Price

Nothing worth having comes without a cost. Living Life to the Fullest is no different. In fact, if it cost you nothing at all, many more people would be doing it. The truth is that the other 4 elements don't matter or will never manifest unless you are willing to pay the price to achieve them.

The price I speak of is not monetary of course, BUT rather your willingness and commitment to doing what it takes to see these elements manifest in your life. Life will always throw you challenges and curve balls – there's nothing we can do about that. How you – we – respond to these challenges and curve balls however, will be the deciding factor in the results we achieve.

The ultimate power of choice says that we have no control over about 10% of the things that happen to us; the other 90% is how we choose to respond to those things. What this means is that in order to live life to the fullest, you must CHOOSE to pay the price.

The price may include but is not limited to your time, diligence, commitment, discipline, etc. Basically, whatever it takes as long as you do no harm to yourself or others.

So what if it's oversimplified?

Get over it!

Yes, I realize that this may seem like an oversimplified outline of what this pursuit will take BUT so what. Sure, there are many more pieces that could be thrown in here and plenty of them can be found on this website. That being said, this is an easy to follow guide to help you get started on your journey to living life to the fullest.

If you can embody these 5 elements, the results you achieve will significantly improve and you will be able to undoubtedly Live Life to the Fullest!

 

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From Coaching to Mentorship

"All mentors are coaches but not all coaches are mentors."

Coaching and Mentorship is definitely not the same thing; each affects you differently because they are different in application. Although these 2 concepts (words) are used interchangeably on a large scale, they are in fact very dissimilar.

The difference between coaching and mentoring is as different as the difference between effectiveness and greatness. While coaching can certainly produce effective results, it is mentorship that produces greatness. This is why the two are different in kind as well as in application.

The overarching principle behind these 2 concepts is SEE-FEEL-DO-GET. It behaves in this manner; the way we SEE things affect how we FEEL which affect what we DO and thus the results we ultimately GET.

Essentially our perception of our environment drives our emotions which fuel our actions and begets the results we see manifested in our lives.

The way in which this principle acts upon coaching and mentorship is simple.

Coaching, while effective, only deals with half of the principle – the DO-GET portion. Its focus is only on half of a person – the part that is physical – the part that executes. When you are able to help someone DO something better than before, obviously you will ultimately yield better results. It is simple logic.

Mentorship on the other hand deals with the whole principle and thus acts upon the whole person. Its focus is on the entire being of a person. In other words, when you mentor someone, your first goal is to cause the person to first SEE himself differently so that he can FEEL differently and therefore DO differently and ultimately GET different results.

You see, a mentor's role is not just to have you improve upon what you are doing but also to improve the way you see yourself. This is what produces true greatness – affecting others in ways that help them not only find their voice but also to courageously express it.

While a coach can effectively help you become a master of your craft on the field, a mentor can help you become the master of your fate – to have control over all your thoughts.

While coaches understand how to play; mentors understand how to think. The bottom line is that if you are able to have better thoughts, you will be able to have better everything else. Better thoughts mean that you SEE, FEEL, DO and GET better – simple.

Some of the greatest teams in history were great because they weren't just coached to be the best – they were mentored into greatness. One of the best examples I have ever seen of a coach making the leap to mentorship is from the movie "Facing the Giants." You can link to the video clip here and see for yourself. It's awesome!

If you watched the video then you'll know exactly what I am talking about. This coach made a giant leap when he put his ego aside to help the best leader on his team recognize the great leadership ability in himself.

You see, mentors don't just help others grow – they help them see themselves as the leaders they were meant to be. I still get goose bumps every time I watch this video or use it in one of my programs.

So, as you can clearly see, coaching and mentorship are two completely different things – both can be effective; however, mentorship builds leaders. While coaching grows your physical prowess, mentorship grows your character.

Some people have said well "when you become better at something, don't you automatically feel better about yourself?"

While this is true, the fact is that when you are simply coached to be physically better at something and you feel better about yourself – you're only feeling better about the self that you are aware of – the one you see.

When you are mentored to be better, you are able to first see yourself in a different and better light so that you are not only improving upon your physicality but also on your mentality, emotionality and spirituality. Through mentorship, you can improve all 4 quotients of the human make up – IQ, EQ, PQ and SQ.

Recognizing the difference as well as understanding the application of coaching and mentorship is extremely important. When you understand what you are looking for you will know better where to look and how to apply each to achieve the best results in your life.

 

 

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The Affirmation of “I AM”

The affirmation of "I AM" reflects the essence of all manifestations in our lives. Essentially, it is the core of the principle of Choice – the ultimate power. It helps to free us from the mindset that anyone or anything else is responsible for our lot in life whether good or bad. It helps us to abandon the mindset of the "perpetual victim" and adopt the mindset of the "perpetual victor."

No matter what you may believe, know or are aware of – natural law – principle cannot fail and it cannot be avoided. It simply is.

"We are who we are and are where we are and are how we are because of the choices we've made."

Thinking otherwise makes no difference as you will continue to bear the consequences of your true thoughts and beliefs – good or bad. It is important to examine our thoughts and our words because we often do not realize how they impact our lives.

Whenever you're feeling stuck; whenever you're feeling down, just repeat and try to embody and believe the following affirmation.

Calling on the "I AM"

I am
I am in control of me
I am who I choose to be
I am where I choose to be
I am how I choose to be
I am the master of my fate
I am the designer of my destiny
I am the programmer of my life
I am all that I am because I choose
I am

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The Nucleus of Personal Growth and Development

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For the 100^th post on your blog, I requested some input, feedback and ideas for possible topics. Many of you responded and I am so grateful. As I read through your responses and pondered some of my own, it hit me. It seems only too relevant that this post is about the Nucleus of Personal Growth and Development.

I chose this topic because every idea I received for topics easily falls under this umbrella. It struck me that there are many people who do want to change in the most positive and profound ways possible; however, many people do not understand where to begin. Not only do a lot of people not understand where to begin – they often don't even possess a true understanding of personal growth and development let alone what to change and how exactly to do it.

While this blog – your blog – is jam packed with information and practical solutions on how to significantly improve your life, it was still missing a main piece of the puzzle as it pertains to helping you understand better what is at the core of personal growth and development.

If you truly want to make a major positive and profound impact on your life, it is imperative that you understand what it truly takes. Though it is a SIMPLE concept overall, experience as shown and taught me that it isn't always EASY.

Here it is in a nutshell…

The success in your pursuits for personal excellence rests with choice… the power of choice is all you need understand and exercise. Choice is grounded in principle – natural law – and therefore affects you and impacts your life whether you believe it or not, know it or not or are aware of it or not. It is no respecter of persons so the only thing that we need to do is exercise it correctly in order to achieve the results we desire.

Following are the 7 principles of choice rooted in the Nucleus of Personal Growth and Development. You may see these categorized differently; however, these are they.

 

 1. Choose Choice over Randomness

Since all things are precipitated by Choice, it is crucial that you first understand that no matter what you want to achieve, you must first choose it. Most individuals function on the "what will be will be" and the "it is what it is" mantra. It is important to recognize that if you want something to happen you have to make it happen. Truly successful individuals operate on the correct principle of "if it is to be it's up to me" and "it is what I've made it."

To be frank, whether you choose choice or not; you've still made a choice. This is what most people do not understand – whether or not you consciously make a choice or not – you've still effectively made a choice even if your choice was not to make one. What happens then is that your life becomes random – maybe it will happen and maybe it won't. The success of your personal growth and development is in jeopardy if you leave it to chance because chances are if you take the random route you will only get random results.

So, choose to choose!

 

2. Choose Awareness over Ignorance

"What you are aware of you can act on; what you are unaware of acts on you."

Awareness is integral to your success because you don't know what you don't know. This means that once you've chosen to choose, you must now choose to increase your awareness. First, you must become more aware of who you truly are so that you will understand better exactly what you need to do to make the changes you wish.

Once again, most people choose ignorance; they simply follow the crowd in the hopes that things will change and then they accept the status quo. And again, remember, as it is with principles; this is still a choice.

Choice simply exists – how we use it is up to us. This means that whether or not you choose to become more aware or remain ignorant, you've still effective made a choice. This is going to seem redundant throughout this article; however, it is necessary to ensure that you fully understand the ultimate power of choice.

Choosing awareness means that you remain open to possibilities and constantly pursue the new. Through increased understanding of yourself and others, you can make more impactful choices that are more beneficial to your personal growth and development.

 

3. Choose Change over Stagnation

"Without change, there can be no growth; without growth, there can be no change."

Following awareness, you must choose change rather than stagnation. Unless you are changing you are not growing. So many individuals complain about their station in life while doing absolutely nothing at all to change it. That is the biggest oxy-moron ever!

Whatever you want to happen you have to make it happen. Personal Growth and Development by definition is all about Change. What most people do is fight to uphold the status quo; these are the individuals that constantly think in terms of "CAN'T" first before "CAN." All truly successful individuals are change agents; they consistently look for ways to change things for the better.

Sure, it's much more popular to stick with the cliché of "If it ain't broke, don't fix it"; however, the truth is that you will achieve much greater results if you thought "I know that this works; however, how can we make it work even better." Truly successful individuals consistently seek add value – to do things better so therefore change is the ultimate result.

 

 4. Choose Thoughts over Things

"All things physical were first spiritual."

So many people focus so much energy on things; usually on the things they do not have while not appreciating the things they do have. Thoughts are way more important than things; in fact, thoughts become things. The reason it is near impossible to manifest things by simply focusing on things is because without true thought; there can be no things to manifest. Things are manifested by thoughts.

First there is thought, which you must truly believe, and then the universe creates that which is truly thought. Focusing on things first then is simply the backward way to go about this. As it pertains to your personal growth and development, it simply means that in order to have the results you desire physically manifest in your life, you must first CHOOSE the true thought of those results. Basically, you must be able to see it in your mind's eye before the first step is taken to achieve it.

Choosing thought over things says that you begin with the end in mind; this is one of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

 

5. Choose Pro-Action over Re-Action

"Reactive people are always affected by change; while proactive people always affect change."

A key component to achieving your goals is to Be Proactive; this is also one of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Proactive people always say "It is what I make it." They believe in taking action towards their goal… they do not believe in half measures and talk. Lip service is for those who choose mediocrity… while action if for those who choose abundance.

When you choose pro-action, you become the true master of your fate. When you choose re-action, other people and circumstance becomes the master of your fate. Essentially, proactive people exercise their true personal power while reactive people give it away to others.

Once again, it doesn't matter which way you choose to go, you're still CHOOSING! This is what you must understand – whether or not you choose to be proactive or reactive – you've made a choice.

 

6. Choose Acceptance over Rejection

This is a "tuffy" for a lot of people and at many different levels of life. It is very important to choose acceptance over rejection. First, you must truly accept yourself – the person you truly are. This goes back to awareness and the fact that only when you've accepted whom you truly are can you effectively choose change for you that is most beneficial and impactful.

With private acceptance also comes public acceptance. The point is that when you first accept the reality of yourself, others and circumstances, you can then make better choices to change things. Acceptance, contrary to popular belief, does not mean settling; it simply means that you receive yourself, others and things as they are and if you like them – keep them – if not change them.

By change, especially when it comes to others, I don't mean change people and I mean change how you deal with people when it is warranted to achieve the results you desire.

Too many of us refuse to accept what is real and opt to live in "la la land" in the hopes that you will never be awaken. These are the sleepwalkers of life… they remain completely withdrawn and dormant because they fear the realness of the world.

The truth is that the world is really your oyster and the universe awaits your command to do your bidding… you have only to choose it.

 

7. Choose Belief over Cynicism

"Belief kills and belief cures."

The success of your personal growth and development while understanding the use of the above 6 principles are necessary, will fizzle away very quickly without the understanding and use of the 7^th – BELIEF! Without belief, true desires cannot manifest.

At the center of every choice is belief; you must believe in what you think, say and do in order to truly manifest the results you desire. Many times, people will even reluctantly commit to trying something in the hopes of proving it won't work. This is the pinnacle of Cynicism.

Instead of thinking "what if it doesn't work", think, "what if it does." The bottom line is that if you don't truly believe in what you do and are going to do, the rest of the 6 principles just won't work in your favor. They will all continue to work; however, your ignorance will cause you to work against them instead of in alignment with them.

That's another thing that is important to understand about principles… they always work in accordance with you because they are not biased. In other words, principles never work against you because they can't. The only time that principles do not work in your favor is when you work against nature – against natural law. Principles manifest what you pour into it so be careful what you truly wish for.

Belief is at the center of the powerful principles of choice because unless you believe, you will never see the ends you desire. Those who wait to see before they believe never see; those who believe before they see never have to wait to see. This is the natural law of belief.

So there you have it – the Nucleus of Personal Growth and Development. Regardless of what challenges you face or hardship you need to overcome, the powerful principles of Choice is your way out – to success.

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Transparently Speaking

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This will probably read more like a rant than an article and I'm ok with that. From time to time I do find it necessary to cleanse by venting. Simply spilling my guts upon you though does not suffice; I must believe that there is some value for you in what I am saying.

Transparently speaking was inspired by my many experiences with different people and the way so many people view the world. This is not to say I have any monopoly on the truth whatsoever – no one does. The fact is though that too many of us keep trying to defy principles in a futile attempt to create dominion over people and things all in the name of the illusion of control.

Seriously – the way the world is shaping up – more of us have to step up to the plate and start creating and delivering some value to it. The time for half measures and talk are over and if you are not part of the solution, you are definitely a part of the problem. As the great author and speaker Stephen R. Covey puts it "the moment you believe the problem is out there; that is the very problem."

I mean c'mon…

There are still too many of us that blame everyone and everything else for our poor station in life. I don't know if the vast majority will ever get past this blockage and see the truth (Doubtful ); but it stands to reason we see so much depression and low self worth among people.

Who am I to judge?

Well, first off I am not judging anyone. Quite frankly we are all flawed and also responsible for each other. It is our responsibility to do our best to help others to do their best. This means that simply saying "I'm not perfect" is no longer good enough. We are all perfect in that we have the ability to pursue who we are truly meant to be and saying "I'm not perfect" is just an excuse to justify our constant failures. No one wins at everything; however true winners never give up because they've failed. Instead, they learn from their mistakes and try again.

Why do we fall? So that we can get up again of course… it might sound trite to you; however, it's still true.

One thing that I'd like to make you painfully aware of in this rant is that no one owes you anything. The world at large owes you nothing! You however (We), do owe the world everything. We all came from the world, regardless of by what process you believe, which means that we should all give back to it.

Expectation is the mother of all disappointments. Stop expecting people to do for you and give to you and start giving to others. Don't be a buffoon about this. Just because you lower your expectation of others doesn't mean you have to lower your standards. In other words, seek out others who have the same or greater standards than you and work with them – follow them. There is no rule that says you have to maintain a relationship with anyone who does not live up to your standards.

In fact, you should empower others to raise their expectations of themselves in a true effort to improve their self standards. You should govern your relationships from within. Once you choose how to spend your energy – live with the consequences of your choice.

Another thing is we all need to give for the sole purpose of giving rather than giving just to receive. The principle already exists that says the more you give, the more you will have. You don't need to think of it before you give because the truth of the principle has no conditions. Giving just to receive goes right back to creating expectations of others to which they don't always live up to which creates disappointment.

By the way, you are the maker of your own fate. Whatever your beliefs might be – this is the principle and it cannot be refuted. You can only break yourself against it but it will remain constant. We all have what we have and are where we are because of the choices we've made.

This isn't a question or a matter of opinion; so do not read it as such. This is the truth whether you are aware of it or not or believe it or not. All things are precipitated by choice. Yes, let's cover the choices of others right now because I know that's where most people go right after I say this. Of course you don't have control over the choices others make; however, you do have control over how you deal with those choices.

Again, stop looking for excuses and loopholes to absolve you for being less than your best. This world requires your best and that's what you owe it. If not your best, then why are you here? If you are not going to make a difference in the lives of others, what purpose do you serve except to serve as the example of what and who not to be? I suppose in that vein, we need you too.

Oh yes, let me not forget the cynics and complainers among us who do nothing but bring us down. Hey look, we have all had bad days – some much worse than others – but what gives you the right to spread your negativity everywhere you go? This has to stop!

Cynics and complainers are usually the same people who live in negativity while doing nothing to change themselves or their circumstance. What's worse is that they often try to convince as many as they can that this is the way the world truly is. The fallacy of it all is that the world isn't simply a physical thing – it is the people first. We make up the world and since we have the power to change ourselves, it could never be that the world simply is the way it is – it is the way we make it. Any other notion is simply foolishness thought of by a moron and spoken on the air of the devil's breath. (If I believed in the devil that is.)

Along with the complainers come the whiners; these are the individuals who constantly say that they can't and then have the audacity to question the poor results they achieve. Give us a break! If you constantly believe that you can't then you won't. It doesn't get much simpler than that.

So many people hate clichés when truthfully they should cling to most such as "what you believe you can achieve." You see a lot of clichés are grounded in true principle – natural law. This is why they always hold true. If you aren't going to do anything about your situation, please do not bombard us with your insistent whining – we don't want to hear it.

In 3 words – SHUT UP ALREADY!

I am also extremely tired of people who say "you need to learn to separate your professional from your personal life." Why put this burden on yourself and others? The vast majority of us spend somewhere in the neighborhood of 70%-80% of our waking hours with our professional colleagues/friends. Why then would you expect or even want people's personal life to be left outside this environment.

If you have a job, then you should know by now that this is a ludicrous proposition. As a matter of fact it is counterproductive. To think that we have to spend so much time disguising who we truly are from the people we work most closely with. And furthermore, to have no personal interest in those you work with only serves to diminish the team – not empower it.

Just to be clear, you are only one person, not two. While there is a time and place for everything, you can still only be one person. This means that you bring your personal life to work, we all do; however, you don't have to bring your baggage. In fact, when people feel the pressure to completely denounce their personal life at work, it creates even more baggage which manifests in the workplace making it harder to function.

No, you shouldn't come to work and air all your dirty laundry – we don't need all that information; however, there is nothing wrong with talking through personal issues with those you work with and trust. The point is that you have the choice. And any entity that tells you otherwise – you should quit immediately (or at least after you find another job.)

On the flip side of this of course are the people you trust at work with your information. For one thing, be smart about it and for the second thing, don't be an ass with people's information. Respect the confidences you are trusted with and treat it the way you would treat your own.

This leads to another thing I want to include in this rant…

Stop gossiping about everyone with everyone. You are a menace and create nothing but unnecessary drama for all involved. I'm not excluded from this pack either because I've done it and it isn't cool – not by a long shot. You should be able to have meaningful dialogue about others and circumstances; however, you shouldn't say anything about anyone to anyone else that you wouldn't say to their faces.

And don't be so damned naïve about your own status. The way people talk about one person is the same way they talk about all others. Someone once asked me "Dean, what do you think people say about you when you leave the room." And I simply answered, the same thing they say about anybody else when they leave the room. The point is that if a person is usually saying positive things about people, chances are they will say positive things about you. If a person is into gossip, you are not immune from the gossip machine so just get over yourself.

Ever heard the term "you are judged by the company you keep?" Ok, so no one has the right to judge anyone else but let's be serious. Where is your value system if all your friends consist of shady characters? No one can tell you whom you should hang with; however, you have to be willing to live with the consequences of your choices. Don't worry about what others think or say when it comes to your circle of friends – they are yours to choose and refuse. Wondering why people see you a certain way because of the company you keep is just a plain waste of time because as long as you hang out with certain people there will be those who view you in the same light they view your friends – good or bad so just deal with it.

On the other hand, when you choose to call someone a friend – just remember that your friendship will never mean as much as when you have to defend your friend in his/her absence. It's sickening to watch the way people allow and even engage in conversations and activities that tear down those they call friends. If you are doing this you are not a friend and your friend would be so much better off without you. This kind of thing happens way too often and it's time to stop it.

Transparently speaking, I have probably left the point of this rant way behind; however; I truly hope that you derive some value from it. As far as I'm concerned, if you're laughing, crying or thinking deeply after you've read this, it's enough – I'm good.

 

Thanks,

Dean.

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The True Definition of Serving Others

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I have been fortunate enough to have incredible teachers and mentors who've taught me so much about the importance of serving others. In fact, I once wrote a brief ode, if you will, dedicated to the first moment I became completely aware of our purpose as it pertains to others.

In my experience, there are definitely certain elements engrained in the true definition of serving others.

The goal of this article is to help you understand what it truly means to be of service to others and how the success of our endeavors is rooted in it.

All truly successful individuals understand and believe that regardless of what we each do, the overarching purpose is to create and deliver value to and for others. Even in achieving your personal goals, they are meaningless if no one is served or better off for you having achieved them.

I know it can sound daunting; a tall order in the eyes of some. This is because of the way many people define true purpose. Most people define their true purpose in terms of serving self and fulfilling self needs first. They look at achieving their goals from the standpoint of what they want only.

Truly successful and highly effective individuals however, see things very differently. They define true purpose from the standpoint of how it benefits others as well as self. If both are not in alignment, the direction of the purpose must change and if need be the purpose itself.

We all have a unique purpose; however, it is important to recognize that no true purpose can supersede the principle of give and give. Simply put, any purpose that does not serve others and self in a positive manner is not a true purpose. True purpose demands that you are not only fulfilled and enriched by what you do but also that others benefit from it. This is the foundation beneath the true definition of serving others.

There are 5 elements engrained in truly being of service to others. Practicing these 5 consistently will not only tremendously improve your personal growth but also the lives of others.

1. Seek to be better

First and foremost, you must be willing to constantly learn and grow. The better you are, the more effective you will be in serving others. The moment you cease to learn, you become obsolete. If you are obsolete, it will be extremely difficult for you to be of benefit to anyone.

If you aren't growing and changing, how can you expect to influence growth and change in others? As Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." These words define the principle of growth whereby the more you grow, the more we each grow; the better the world is around us. In order to positively affect that, you must be a part of those who lead by example instead of simply watching from the sidelines.

2. Seek to do better

As you constantly seek to be better, you must also seek to do better. As you grow and change, it is important that you share it with the world around you. There is simply no point in growing if you are not willing to teach others what you've learned. This is a major part of service – sharing and teaching others.

Doing better means that you choose not to stay stagnant; when you have new knowledge, you act on it by applying and teaching. Truly successful individuals know that seeking to do better means that you are in constant pursuit of your potential. Once you hit a milestone, another appears for which you can now reach.

The true definition of serving others requires that we continuously pursue our potential.

3. Think first of others and then yourself

The heart of service demands that you think first of others and then yourself. This doesn't mean that you need to sacrifice your true desires; however, it does mean that whatever you do, you seek to do it in a way that benefits others.

When you make decisions, be sure that it is driven by the right reasons. If your reasons in any way shape or form do harm to others, you should not do it. This can come in varying degrees which means that the more aware you are the better you will be at recognizing when to do what.

Overall, the goal is to simply put others first before you act. The natural law – the principle is that when you help others get what they need your needs will automatically be met. This is the cornerstone of thinking of others first and then yourself.

4. Give others what they need, not what they want

This can often be a hard thing to do because many of us have a great need to be liked by others. In true service to others, it is vital that we endeavor to give others what they need and not what they want.

It's the basic adage of teaching others how to fish rather than constantly giving them a fish. You do way more harm than good when you feed others and never teach them how to feed themselves.

Simply put, what others want is food; what they need is to learn how to cultivate their own crops. Sure, there are extreme cases where this is not as easy as it sounds here; however, I guarantee you that the same principle will hold true. Even as you or I might give to charities around the globe – to starving children – deep down the solution to the problem lies with the people themselves being taught how to produce for themselves. It cannot be disputed or refuted – it simply is.

When you constantly give others what they want instead of what they need, you enable them and create bad habits that become even harder to break later. In essence, you cripple a person's ability to think and do for self and to expect rewards without work.

The true definition of service requires that, even when it is difficult, you give others what they need instead of what they want.

5. Discover your true purpose

Even though you might be able to do some good, you will never be able to create and deliver your unique greatness to others unless you discover your true purpose. This is the only way to serve others in full – you must discover what it is you were born to do. We all have a unique gift – a talent that only we – you can deliver to the world.

It doesn't matter what your passion is – there is a way to use it to create and deliver value to others. I could go on and on here; however, I have already written 2 extensive articles on the topic that I truly believe can help you get started on the right path to discovering your true purpose. They are How to Discover Your True Purpose and The Power of Purpose. My suggestion is to start here if you need a little guidance.

The other 4 elements will become clearer and more focused than ever when you've discovered your true purpose and how to use it in service to others. This is the true definition of serving others.

 

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Freedom from Fear

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Let me begin this article by making one thing perfectly clear; Freedom from Fear is an illusion. While we don't fear all things, every person on this planet does fear some things. We have fears we are currently aware of and fears yet still to emerge – there is absolutely no question about it.

The good news is that what does exist is FREEDOM; so while we may never be free from having fear we are certainly free to choose how we deal with these fears. Most often in my experience I find that too many choose inaction because of fear rather than action in spite of it. In fact, many rob themselves and the world of their true greatness because of fear.

Fear is in fact a disease of the mind that causes a great deal of stagnation in many individuals. It promotes the status quo and reinforces conformity rather than leadership.

The goal of this article is to help you understand how to consistently achieve the results you desire despite any fears that you may have. Essentially, it is crucial to understand that Freedom from Fear simply means that you have the freedom to choose how you respond to your fears.

There are 5 essential questions that you need to ask yourself when facing a fear in order to make the most effective choice. Answering these questions honestly and then choosing to act on them accordingly will undoubtedly and significantly improve the results you achieve.

1. What do I fear?

First and foremost you must understand exactly what it is that you fear. If you neither know nor understand what you fear, you cannot effectively deal with it. This is why it is very important to examine your behavior and disposition in an objective and honest manner so that you can accurately assess where you stand. Once you truly understand the nature and/or cause of your fear then you can take the necessary steps to address it.

2. Why do I fear it?

Next, it is equally vital to decipher why you fear what you fear. Knowing why sheds light on the root cause of the issue thereby providing the answer to the very question. Knowing why immediately tells you from what angle to address the issue. In other words, you may simply need to talk through your fear whereas in another case you may need to experience your fear in order to overcome it. Simply put, knowing why fuels the resolution at the optimum level.

3. Is it more beneficial to surrender or conquer?

Not that I can ever think of any reason not to conquer any fear; however, this is still a crucial question to ask. It is important if for no other reason but to truly embody the value of overcoming your fear. You see, while I can see no good reason to surrender to any fear, it is extremely important to be painfully aware of the significant gap between what happens when you choose to surrender versus when you choose to conquer. There can be no comparison in the way you feel or the results you achieve. To conquer your fear is to acknowledge it and choose to act anyway in the pursuit of right and fulfilling action.

4. Does my choice create and deliver value to others?

Freedom from Fear requires that you understand the value that is created and delivered to others when you choose to conquer your fears. As I truly believe that each of us has an overall purpose on this planet to use our unique gifts and talents in ways that serve others. With that said, it is important to ask yourself whether or not your actions despite your fear serve others; if they create and deliver value to others.

Since fear serves no purpose but to hold you back from your true greatness, it is vital to understand how your choice to conquer your fears impacts others. When you can honestly say that choosing to act regardless of any fear you may have truly creates and delivers value to others, your personal power to choose FREEDOM will significantly improve.

5. What is the right thing to do?

This question is on the list for one major reason; if all else fails with the above all you have to do is figure out what the right thing is and then do it. Essentially, if succumbing to fear robs you and the world of your true greatness, then it is not the right thing to do. Yes, I realize that in some cases this is easier said than done; however, it doesn't change the fact that when fear is at the helm, greatness cannot emerge.

While there is always room for fear, there is no room for fear in the cockpit. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, just do the right thing and almost everything else will fall into place. Do what you truly believe is right and then live with the consequences of your choice. More often than not you will find that you've made the best decision.

When you can answer the above 5 questions honestly, you will be much more equipped to make effective choices to conquer your fears. Once you understand that Freedom from Fear is an illusion and that the only true freedom comes from choosing how you respond to your fears, you will begin to see immediate and positive effects in the results you achieve.

In conclusion, it is important to note that not all fears are created equal so it goes without saying that conquering some fears will be harder than others. Additionally, depending on the depth and breadth of your fear, some will take longer than others. The objective of this article is to provide you with a starting point and a practical approach to begin the process of overcoming your fears.

Now get conquering!  

 

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Others

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Ann Mincey, one of my dear friends and incredible mentors once gave me a card that simply read "Others." Puzzled by the blank card with this one simple word inked on it, I asked her, "Why did you give this to me." She humbly replied "Because my pastor gave it to me while expressing his appreciation for my heart and spirit to lift and grow others and now I am passing it on to you because I see the same gift and potential in you."

Wow! That was indeed a deep and abiding moment for us both. I was of course instantly humbled by Ann's expression in her appreciation for the gift of my heart and spirit. That moment further drove home the irrefutable law that our overall purpose, each and every one of us, is to create and distribute value in the service of OTHERS.

It is in this vein that I invite you to truly consider "others" in your choices and actions. Truly successful and highly effective individuals not only understand the true meaning of service, they further grasp the other side of service which is the expectation of others. This simply means that in service, it is crucial that you truly understand whom you are serving, to what end and how to do it effectively so that others derive true benefits.

With that said, the following is a dictum to help you not only understand what to do through your voice but also what to consider through the voice of others before you make choices and take action.

The Voice between You & Others

To serve others is a promise manifested in duality; it considers your voice as well as the voice of others. It behooves us all to not only endeavor to know our voice but also to understand those of others.

See it through the eye of your spirit, feel it upon your heart, act on it within your mind and execute it with your body.

The use of your voice in service to others to help them find their voices is the pinnacle of greatness. For these are sacred promises… LISTEN!

You: I promise to always serve you and act only in your best interest

Others: As long as you also promise never to assume that your interests are also mine

You: I promise to always give you the very best of me

Others: As long as you also promise to always give me what I need and not always what I want

You: I promise to always push you to do your very best

Others: As long as you also promise to always expect the best of me from me and not the best of you from me

You: I promise to always listen actively whenever you express your heart to me

Others: As long as you also promise to always seek first to understand and then to be understood

You: I promise to always offer you my best words of wisdom

Others: As long as you also promise to always wait until requested or ask my permission

You: I promise to always provide you honest feedback when requested

Others: As long as you also promise never to judge me by your standards

You: I promise to always treat you with unconditional love

Others: As long as you also promise to always treat me the way you wish to be treated

If you dug deep, I am sure you could come up with even more voices like the above that would make the point. Just remember to consider not only your voice in service but also the voice of others. Without the consideration of others, it will be impossible to truly create and deliver value that benefits the world.

Love,

Dean

 

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7 Keys to Improving Your Self Esteem

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So many individuals struggle with maintaining a healthy self image. Even worse, most are not even aware that they have a poor self image let alone understand what they need to do to make it better. Instead, they play the blame game where everyone and everything else is at fault except them. Know anyone like this?

Improving your self esteem then, is certainly a topic worthy of discussion and focused thought. So often I come across bright individuals who just can't seem to see the great potential in themselves as others do. Often times, they don't even believe it when I share this with them; most times it is taken as mere empty flattery just to make conversation.

The truth is that everyone has tremendous value within them; whether you are aware of it or not, we are all born with the capacity to create and distribute enormous value. The only sad thing is that most of the people on our planet will not even come close to scratching the surface of their greatness – at least not by the looks of things and certainly not in my lifetime.

Please don't take these forewords to be negative in anyway; they are simply my way of helping you become honestly and perhaps, even painfully, aware of where you are in the spectrum. This is because from my experience, it is extremely difficult to achieve any success in anything if you are not crystal clear on your starting point.

With that said, the goal of this article is to create a blueprint that can help you with improving your self esteem as well as maintaining a healthy self image.

The main reason that people have low self esteem to begin with is not because of what others say or do; it is first because of how they view themselves. In fact, if you are not aware of whom you truly are, at your core, you will be hard pressed to have and/or maintain a healthy self image.

Highly effective individuals understand that it is important to constantly pursue your own self awareness in order to stay in tuned with who you are. I have already written an in-depth article on the pinnacle of self awareness which is a great place to begin your journey of improving your self esteem.

Following are 7 keys to improving your self esteem. If you practice to live these 7 elements consistently, your self image will only get better and you will undoubtedly experience profound and positive changes in the results you achieve.

Key # 1: Aspiration

In order for you to begin to build a healthy self image, you must know what you want it to look like. Think of your best self and then project that into your life. This is your aspiration; your true desire of whom you want to be and become.

To do this, it is important that you accept, appreciate and approve of the person you are right now. Unless you do this it will be very difficult to move and grow beyond this point because you have not acknowledged where you truly are.

Even if you have to look to the exemplary individuals that have touched your life and emulate them in some way that speaks to your core, it is important to aspire to be and become your best self.

Key #2: Inspiration

With great aspiration of whom you want to be and become must come inspiration. Whenever you need a boost, seek out people and things that truly inspire you; that make you want more and better and new and good.

Inspiration enlivens the spirit and awakens the creative senses. It is the stimulator of growth and change; it sits at the forefront of greatness. When you are inspired, you feel on top of the world; as if you can do anything. The world becomes one of infinite possibilities and you feel as though you have a place to show your real stuff. (Maybe that's just me.)

The point is that improving your self esteem and maintaining a healthy self image requires that you are infused and refreshed frequently with the people and things that most inspire you to greater heights. These are the kinds of people and things that make you want to look deep within yourself and pull out your best stuff and nothing less.

As the great beauty company Redken 5^th Avenue puts it in one of their slogans – "Get Inspired. Be Part of it."

Key #3: Motivation

Where you have aspiration and inspiration, Motivation is sure to emerge. Both not only help you stay motivated but also constantly lead you to more things that keep you motivated. It is hard to see yourself in a positive light if there's no fire in your belly. If you do not have something that makes you get out of bed excited to be a part of every morning, your self esteem is guaranteed to suffer one way or another.

Motivation is crucial to building and maintaining a healthy self image which is why it is important to do what you truly love to do. Essentially, the surest way to stay motivated is to discover and pursue your true purpose. Staying highly motivated becomes a cinch when you absolutely love what you do and derive a great sense of fulfillment and worth from it.

In order to make sure you stay motivated, do what you love and be proactive about pursuing it daily – no excuses.

Key #4: Visualization

Just as it is important to be proactive, it's crucial to know exactly where you want to go. In this vein, you must begin with the end in mind – visualize where you want to be before to make the first move. All truly successful individuals create the blueprint first before they ever take the first step.

It doesn't matter how small the goal, it is vital to be crystal clear about the results you wish to achieve. People who know where they want to go have a reason to get up and do something every single day; they always have a mission. When you are motivated by true purpose and you are crystal clear about where you want to go, getting there simply becomes about walking down the path to your goal. It doesn't mean that it is easy to stay the course; however, the process is SIMPLE.

Key #5: Determination

Determined people make it – simple as that. Improving your self esteem requires that you stay determined about your dreams and goals no matter what others say or do or what circumstances come your way.

Your only objective is to remain driven and guided by your true purpose while doing the right things by others in getting there. Too often we veer off course because society doesn't approve or to appease our need to be liked by everyone. It may actually shock you to know that a great majority of people rob themselves and the world of their true greatness because of their overwhelming need to be liked. It's really a sad thing.

Determination, backed by a crystal clear goal and fueled by true purpose is more powerful than you can imagine. I know it may seem like I've gone somewhat off target here where self esteem is concerned; however, I assure you, all this is key to your success.

Ever notice that the more determined you are to stay negative, the universe brings more negativity into your life? And, ever notice the opposite? The more determined you are to stay positive the more the universe brings positivity into your life. This is no coincidence – this is the law of attraction in action.

Just try this simple exercise…

Make it a point tomorrow to simply smile at everyone you come across and see how many smiles you get back. It is an amazing feeling – I know – I've been there.

If you truly believe in whom you are and want to be; if you are truly motivated by true purpose – then stand your ground no matter what and never give up no matter what. Even though sometimes it will be hard, I guarantee that every time you choose to keep moving forward through all the struggles – your self esteem will improve. This is how winners keep winning… they take their licks and keep on ticking.

Key #6: Implementation

Once you've dreamed it and created the blueprint, it's time to take action. Nothing will come to fruition unless you begin to implement your dream. Of course, if you are practicing the first 5 elements, execution becomes so much easier. I know that they say knowing is half the battle; (At least GI Joe used to. ) I happen to believe that knowing is 90% of the battle. You see once you know where you want to go; you have only to walk through the steps.

The euphoria of self esteem cannot last unless you achieve results and if you are not acting on your dreams and goals you cannot do that. This is why it is important to set goals to help keep you focused and on target with the tasks involved in reaching your objective.

Just remember that nothing you want to happen will ever happen unless you make it happen. Even when you believe that your luck brought you your true desire, it can never be true unless you were involved in the making of it.

Key #7: Appreciation

When it's all said and done, it is crucial to always show gratitude for your blessings. When you win, it's important to celebrate; however, it is even more important to give thanks. Be grateful for what you have.

The fact is that the more you show appreciation, the more things you get to appreciate. This is the law of gratitude. Improving your self esteem and maintaining a healthy self image is not just about how you see and treat yourself; it's also about how you see and treat others.

When you can truly appreciate every blessing in your life, you see the world very differently. All things seem possible and the seemingly little pockets of light in your life quickly overwhelms any seemingly massive area of darkness. I know this might sound a bit deep; however, showing gratitude for what you receive is a sure way to improving your self esteem and maintaining a healthy self image.

Appreciation is what keeps the cycle of the other 6 elements going for an infinite and continuous circle of aspiration, inspiration and motivation. You then just have to visualize your goal, stay determined to finish and implement your blueprint by taking action; and whether you achieve your ultimate goal or you miss, remember to show gratitude for what you receive – whether it is a win or a lesson.

Appreciation keeps us grounded and reminds us that we didn't do it on our own.

The practice of these 7 elements will undoubtedly help you quickly and effectively in improving your self esteem.

Feel good about you and see you in the winner's circle.

 

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How to Positively Change Your Life Right Now

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Among the sea of information available on the different ways to Change Your Life, the one aspect that I have found that is often missed is the simplicity of actually changing your life. What I mean is that there is tons of great information out there on the subject; however, the application of the information is the key to success.

Once you understand the application, you can quite literally begin to affect your life in the most profound and positive ways you can imagine this instant. This isn't a gimmick or some quick fix; like all change, it is a process that takes time. What is important to understand is that you can begin to realize these changes almost instantaneously when you have the correct recipe.

While there are many ways to explain and illustrate how to positively change your life; in my experience, the formula consists of 2 main ingredients. The goal of this article is to raise your awareness to these 2 ingredients and help you discover how to apply them for maximum effect.

Ingredient #1: Think Differently

Thinking differently embodies several different parts. You might find a plethora of resources and materials that essentially drive home the point that "thoughts are things." In principle, this of course is true; however, once again the true application if most often misunderstood.

If you wish to positively change your life right now, you must first endeavor to think differently. Your goal is to remove all negative, dejecting, dismissive, passive and disempowering thoughts in your mind and replace them with just the opposite. Essentially, you need to rewrite your programming. The following is a quick guideline to help you get started with this way of thinking.

Think positively – in all instances where you would normally have a negative thought, force yourself to find the positive aspect to think about. Even if the positive is small, focus on that and center your thoughts on the positive aspects only. When you speak your thoughts, only release the positive ones. You are the master of your thoughts and thus you can change them at any time you wish. If need be, close your eyes and tell your brain to stop the negative thoughts and then go to the positive ones.

Think the best of you – whenever you look in the mirror, see only the best of you. I am not saying you should kid yourself and think that you are a rock star if you can't sing; however, you should think that if you really wanted to be a rock star, you'd know exactly what to do to make it happen. The point is to master your little voice that tells you that you are not enough and tell it to go to hell. You are the master of your fate and you are whatever you think you are.

Think the best of others – no matter how easy it seems to pass judgment and make fun of others – do the opposite. Find something that is great about each person you know and meet and think of that only. When you seek only the best in others, you immediately bring out the best in them and simultaneously the best in you. Thinking only of the best in others draws only the best towards you. For example, if all you ever think about are the negative people around you and how negative they are, all you will have in your circle are more negative people.

The objective of this exercise to help you begin to change your negative thinking; it may not be easy – however, the process is simple. Just remember that even though in principle thoughts are in fact things, they do not become things until you truly believe that they will… more on that in a bit.

In application of changing your thinking, it is a quest to change what comes to your mind in any given situation. The point is to practice thinking positively until it becomes a habit. You actually have to make a conscious choice to think differently. This is the part that most people miss so often. Thinking differently is in fact a choice and one that you must make consciously before it begins to truly happen.

Ingredient #2: Believe Differently

Walking hand-in-hand with thinking differently is believing differently. The fact is that it will be impossible to positively change your life right now unless you believe what you think. Remember what we said about thoughts becoming things? This is the second part of the equation.

While it is true in principle that thoughts become things, they cannot do so until you believe that they will. Only when you believe will you see your desires come to fruition.

Once you have rewritten the programming of your thoughts, you must then endeavor to actually believe the thoughts that you are thinking. You see in order to actually change your life, you must generate on the same frequency of the change you desire. In order to get to the level of vibration you desire, your thinking and your belief must be in alignment.

Believing differently means that you must begin to see yourself, others and the world through a new set of eyes. Whatever your preconditions have been; whatever your perceptions, you must be willing to discard them. This means that you must believe and embrace limitless possibilities. When you begin to believe that all things are possible, your thoughts will begin to inspire action that lead to the results you truly desire.

When thoughts and beliefs align in perfect harmony, inspired action leading to tremendous success is the result. The bottom line is that if in order to positively change your life right now, you must believe what you think.

Sure, it might seem like a tall order; however, think of it this way…

Look at your life now – truly examine it and be honest with yourself. Look at the negative things within it and then think about what your thoughts usually are and whether or not you actually believe those thoughts. I think that if you did this honestly, you would most certainly find that more often than not, you thought negatively and furthermore you actually believed your negative thoughts. It stands to reason then that you would certainly continue to derive negative results from these negative thoughts and your belief in them.

This is the point… it is a principle of course which means it isn't biased. The principle simply says that what we think and thus believe manifest in our physical world. It doesn't matter if it's negative or positive; so long as we think and believe it, it will indeed manifest.

So, when you think positive thoughts, all you have to do is truly believe in them and you will manifest positive results in your physical world. This is what it means to believe differently.

Immediate Results

It is guaranteed that once you begin to think and believe differently, you will instantly see the change in your life. The reason this is no quick fix is because depending on how long you've thought and believed what you have – it will take time to rewrite the program and believe in the new one.

The results you achieve will directly mirror your level of positive thinking and belief – no more and no less. This is why you see immediate results; because the universe – the natural law – principles have no favorites. They simply deliver to you what you need based on what you think and believe.

Begin the practice of positive thinking and genuine belief in that thinking today and watch your success explode. Once the application of these 2 powerful ingredients become habits, you will undoubtedly always see profound and positive changes manifesting around you.

Just remember that you are the master of your fate and you can rewrite the program and believe in it too!

 

 

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Coping with Change

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Change is a constant occurrence that we must all deal with whether we desire to or not. Coping With Change then, is certainly a very important skill to develop and improve upon in order to be effective. Sadly, the vast majority of human beings on our little planet abhor change and fight feverishly to uphold the status quo. This is why so many of us are often frustrated by change and so affected by the effects of it.

The truth is that since change is a principle that is ever happening whether to you, around you or by you, it is essentially inevitable and everlasting. This being said, effective people understand that learning how to cope with changes is crucial to their success and helping others achieve success.

Furthermore, it has been my experience that a large portion of the frustration that comes with change has to do more with the ignorance of others in dealing with changes. Basically, many, many people are clueless in how to deal with changes. And quite frankly, most, if not all, of us suck at dealing with changes in different areas of our lives.

Of course, this is not all bad since anyone has the capacity to learn and understand how to deal with change.

The goal of this article is to outline for you the most effective habits in coping with change in a practical manner. I am not saying that you will always deal with change effectively – BUT – I am saying that when you process and apply these 6 habits, you will virtually achieve the results you desire every single time.

Coping with change involves two main elements; the process and the application. The first 3 habits help you understand how to process change and the second 3 habits help you understand how to apply change.

Habit #1: Seek Change

Most people do a lot of talking about change but most do very little to facilitate change. Highly effective people understand the importance of constantly seeking change; they understand that only through change can you grow.

This means that seeking change is vital to your personal growth; unless you are willing to change, there can be no growth. The first step in coping with change is to first be a part of the group who seeks to change.

It doesn't mean that you should flip flop on your core values and beliefs but rather seek out and affect the type of changes that exemplify them and strengthen you in your convictions. Additionally, in the pursuit of change, you will often come to see the world more openly and any update to your core values and beliefs will most certainly be positive – this is organic evolution at its finest.

Habit #2: Accept Change

The second habit in coping with change is accepting it for better or worse. Sure, it is easy to accept change when the change is the one you want. More importantly though, it is key to learn how to accept even those changes that you don't necessarily like or approve of.

Accepting change does not mean that you condone or support it; however, it does mean that you acknowledge it and make choices accordingly. The biggest mistake that most people make when they face changes they do not want is to ignore them and then act as if they do not exist. Unfortunately, this ignorance does not negate the effect of the change; more often than not though, people end up frustrated, disappointed and/or hurt because of their own ignorance.

When you truly accept change – you accept it all. You endeavor to see the whole and then make choices to deal with it accordingly. Even if you decide for whatever reason to stand apart from change – you still choose to acknowledge its occurrence and therefore do not remain ignorant.

Let me put it this way…

We shed skin, lose hair, we live, we die a physical death and up to 150 species go extinct every single day. All of this is inevitable change and whether you are aware of it or not, they still happen. Getting the picture? Good… let's move on then…

Habit #3: Embrace Change

The third habit in coping with change is to embrace it. Truly successful individuals practice this relentlessly because they understand that this is how you become a true scholar of growth. When you can embrace change, you are able to learn all there is to learn from it.

Have you ever heard the cliché "everything happens for a reason?" Well, it is true and truly successful people believe it and this is why they endeavor to embrace change – ALL CHANGE.

Again, it doesn't mean that you condone or support the change – it just means that you not only accept it but you are open to it without judgment. Judgments are automatic blockers to learning because they close you off in the most profound ways. It is extremely difficult to learn anything new when you come to the class with preconceived notions. This is because for the most part, you have already made up your mind about the outcome and therefore you are unable to see beyond your own ignorance.

You can only take advantage of knowledge to the degree that you are aware of it. Essentially, if you do not know all that is available, it is impossible to use all that is available.

The embrace of change is the fertilizer for creativity and imagination that sparks the greatest change.

Furthermore, it is important to point out that we all have varying perceptions and views and that the greatest discoveries are made by seeing the world through the eyes of another. This being said, in embracing change, it is paramount that you also embrace the changes and/or differences in your fellowman. Instead of ostracizing people for being different, include them because of it so that you can learn from each other. This is the epitome of embracing change.

These 3 habits help you to PROCESS change. Practice them and you will undoubtedly see profound and positive improvement in coping with change.

Habit #4: Embody Change

The fourth habit in coping with change is to embody it. This habit is only applied when you do in fact condone and support the change. Regardless of how you become aware of the change, you choose to follow it because it aligns with your core values and beliefs.

In this case, it is important that you first consult your inner compass to make sure that this change is aligned with the things you believe in – with things that are most important to you. Then and ONLY then should you embody any change. Even if this new change takes you off your original course, in my experience, it is best to go with it if it is in alignment with your core values and beliefs.

Habit #5: Epitomize Change

As Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world." This is what it means to epitomize change. It is vital that you lead by example – that you are the epitome of the changes you want to see around you. When you are the epitome of change, coping with change becomes so much simpler because you can more easily make choices to deal with changes.

In other words, whether you stand apart from or embody change, your choices are clear based on your core values and beliefs and the types of changes you exemplify. Also, you become a lot less frustrated by the changes others make that you do not like when you are a living example of the changes you wish to contribute to the world. It's harder to knock others for their voice when you too have your own.

Habit #6: Affect Change

Habit #5 and #6 go hand-in-hand when it comes to coping with change. For once you epitomize the changes you wish to see around you, your circle of influence grows automatically and much more rapidly. People tend to follow those who have a strong and focused voice with substance to support it as opposed to a loud mouth complainer without a backbone.

Truly successful people understand that in order to create the best changes, the enrollment of others is important – it is crucial. They are proactive and they understand that "proactive people always affect changes while reactive people are always affected by changes."

In affecting change, you aim to impart your knowledge and wisdom onto others only in an effort to make them better in some way. This is not about power and control – it is about making others better for having known you. The moment it becomes about anything else, it is corrupt and no longer valid.

Additionally, when you are an affecter of change, it means that you do not stand around and wait for an invitation to do what you feel in your heart is right. Regardless of what the masses are doing, as a change agent, you must endeavor to do what is necessary to achieve the results you desire. No matter what, you have to be willing to stand your ground.

Essentially, you must be willing to stand on your core values and beliefs even if you stand alone – this is how you affect change. When you are convicted, confident, and exemplary and you clearly know where you are going, others will soon follow. You need not worry about finding others to join the cause; they will undoubtedly find you because that is what people do when they need a leader. Just remember that leaders lead from the front and not from the back.

Ever seen those epic war movies? Where was the king? That's right – usually leading the charge and not standing behind a curtain pretending to be some all-knowing wizard barking orders at the troops.

These 3 habits help you to APPLY change. Practice them and you will undoubtedly see profound and positive improvement in coping with change.

 

 

 

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Leading a Principle Centered Life

There is definitely a lot of information available on principle centered living. What I have discovered in my experience is that many people still do not understand what it means to lead of life grounded in correct principles.

The goal of this article is to help raise your awareness to how principles apply practically to our lives and also to help you more easily discern whether or not you a living a life grounded in correct principles.

Even at times when I refer to the term – I still get puzzled looks from so many individuals; either because they believe that they already lead a life grounded in correct principles or because they do not understand the difference as to whether they are or not.

Before you can begin to discern the kind of life you are living, two things need to happen.

First, you must understand that there are different centers of life from which people operate more dominantly than others; and…

Second, you must then decide what kind of life you want to lead.

In this vein, let us understand what some of the different centers are and how they operate. The goal here is to help you become painfully aware of where you are in this spectrum so that you can make better choices to get where you truly want to be.

As learned from one of my favorite books of all time, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, following are 5 of the most common centers from which people direct their lives. These centers often lead to unsatisfactory results in other areas of your life because they are not grounded in correct principles.

1. Spouse Centered

When you are spouse centered, you view your spouse as the main source of need and satisfaction.

You tend to view the other 4 centers as follows:

Family – good in its place but is of less importance and viewed as no more than a common project

Money – necessary to properly take care of spouse

Church – an activity to enjoy together; however it is completely subordinate to the relationship with your spouse

Self – your self-worth comes from your spouse; the way your spouse views you is of utmost importance which makes you highly and unhealthily vulnerable to spouse attitudes and behaviors

2. Family Centered

When you are family centered, it becomes your highest priority no matter who they are or how they treat you.

You tend to view the other 4 centers as follows:

Spouse – just another part of the family and certainly not more important than the whole

Money – economic support for family

Church – source of help for family; you always go together or not at all

Self – a vital part of the family; however, subordinate to it

3. Money Centered

When you are money centered, it becomes your main source of security and fulfillment; without it you feel small and insignificant.

You tend to view the other 4 centers as follows:

Spouse – an asset or liability in acquiring money

Family – as an economic drain and not much more

Church – as a tax write-off; and moreover just another bunch of charlatans with their hands in your pocket

Self – self-worth is determined by net worth; nothing matters more than how much you have in the bank

4. Church Centered

When you are church centered, it is the highest source of priority and guidance in your life; before you make a move, you must consult with the church.

You tend to view the other 4 centers as follows:

Spouse – a companion in or facilitator for church service, or a trial of faith

Family – models to exemplify adherence to church teachings, or trails of faith

Money – as a means to support church and family in their devotion to church; considered evil if it becomes a greater priority than church or church activities

Self – self worth is determined by level of devotion to church and church activities; your performance and deeds are driven by church doctrine and ethics and nothing else

5. Self Centered

When you are self centered, the focus always has to be you. You believe that you are better, smarter and more right than anyone else. You feel justified in focusing all resources on your personal gratification.

You tend to view the other 4 centers as follows:

Spouse – as your personal possession only there to please and satisfy you

Family – again, viewed as your personal possession available at your beck and call to satisfy your needs

Money – once again, another source to fulfill your needs

Church – surprise; yet another vehicle to perform self-serving deeds

As you can see by examining these 5 different centers; none of them live up to natural laws; correct principles. When your choices are made with any of these centers as the compass, it will never be for the good of all.

On the other hand, the exact opposite is true of principle centered living. In fact, that's the core meaning of it; it requires that your choices are always for the good of all. It doesn't mean that everyone has to like or agree with your choices; however, it does mean that when you make your choices you do so knowing that you are doing the right thing.

Here's what it means in relation to the other 5 centers mentioned.

Principle Centered

When you are principle centered, you endeavor to live your life in adherence to immutable natural laws which cannot be violated with impunity. You only make choices based on your core values and beliefs grounded in correct principles which always leads to true growth and happiness.

You tend to view the other 5 centers as follows:

Spouse – as an equal partner in a mutually beneficial and interdependent relationship

Family – as an opportunity for service and contribution; a source of fulfillment and also as an opportunity for teaching and leading the next generation in positive change

Money – as a resource that enables you to achieve your dreams and goals in important service and contribution to the world

Church – as a vehicle for practicing true principles; another opportunity for service and contribution

Self – as a unique, talented and creative individual living among many other unique, talented and creative individuals working independently and interdependently to achieve great things

This is what it means to lead a principle centered life.

I highly recommend that you read the entire book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to receive the full benefit of understanding the different centers and how they operate. It is one of the single most insightful pieces of literature I have ever read. In fact, it played a huge part in my own journey of personal growth and pursuit of personal excellence.

Instead of placing a high value on things which are temporary; place the highest value on principles because they are eternal. So many people consistently wish for more money so that they can buy more things when what they really need to wish for is more time. You see, with time, you can do anything you want – the possibilities are endless.

You see time is a principle that works this way…

"There are limits to the time you have to live; however, there are no limits to how you live your time."

Make your time on this plane significant by making a difference in the life of others; endeavor to lead a principle centered life.

 

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Personal Growth Quotes

The following is a list of some of my most popular posts ever to Facebook and Twitter. I have also used these quotes in my various articles on this website. These personal growth quotes are a collection of insights from my tremendous mentors, experiences and overall lessons in personal change that I have discovered.

The purpose of this article is to officially release use of these quotes to the public. This is not for self promotion but simply for the widest range of impact. As it states in my mission statement, I want to help as many people as possible realize their true gifts and talents so that they can achieve their dreams and goals. This is the sole purpose for this official release.

At times that I have used the quotes, I have always found them to be beneficial not only to me but also to others who have heard them. It is not because they are so fantastic that they immediately change lives – it is simply because these are authentic words that stem from real life. They resonate with others deeply because the examples in their lives come screaming to the surface when they hear or read these words.

Whether or not you choose to use these personal growth quotes is completely up to you; however, this ensures that you will have a mini-archive from which to pull.

I have only one request – if you do choose to use any of these quotes that you give the proper credit for the contribution. I ask that you always show my full name like this: Dean L. Forbes.

I have also specified where the quote comes directly from another source and I ask that you give credit to the proper sources in these instances.

You need not do anything else; no need to ask permission or anything else. This article is an official document granting permission to you to use these quotes in whatever forum you deem fit and/or necessary. I am confident that you won't misuse these words. There will be no backlash from me for any reason.

Just please be mindful that these words should not be taken lightly or used loosely – they are extremely powerful when embodied and understood fully. They can even be powerful daily mantras for life – just things that you repeat to yourself as a reminder.

Following are 22 powerful personal growth quotes that can impact your life and the lives of those you know and connect with.

1. Proactive people are not driven by what happens to them but by the things they make happen.


2. Proactive people always affect changes; reactive people are always affected by changes.


3. Managers do things right, leaders do the right things. - Author Unknown


4. To neither know who you are nor where you are going is to be like a frozen river on the hottest day of summer; to know who you are but not where you are going is to be like a still river with no ebb and flow, but; to know yourself and where you are going is to be like the universal river that brings all dreams to fruition.


5. To simply be the victor in 100 conflicts or negotiations is not the pinnacle of skill or the true essence of humanity; however, to persuade your opponent to sit on the same side as you, to nurture differences and transcend conflict - this is the pinnacle of skill and the true essence of humanity.


6. Confidence lies in your preparation; the possibility of success lies in your execution.


7. For you to achieve the success you desire, you must first visualize the finish line, believe that it is already yours and then proclaim it confidently.


8. Unsuccessful individuals go forth blindly and then seek to win while truly successful individuals win first and then go forth in victorious clarity.


9. In order to consistently achieve your goals, one method can be to adapt the mindset of doomed soldiers. "Confront them with annihilation, and they will then survive; plunge them into a deadly situation, and they will then live. When people fall into danger, they are then able to strive for victory." – Sun Tzu


10. If you plan, prepare and expect to win, look at every failure as an opportunity to increase your knowledge, choose change over stagnation, you will never know defeat.


11. To lack vision and take no action is the way you guarantee failure; to walk the path before you visualize the end is the way to guarantee turmoil; to visualize the end before you walk the path is the way to guarantee true success.


12. Although it might seem easier to tear others down rather than build them up, you must understand that you cannot successfully build up yourself unless you build others. Any power you perceive from tearing others down is an illusion created by the glass-made ground upon which you walk and it will inevitably shatter and cause disarray in your endeavors.


13. If you are not overwhelmed with degrees and accolades, it is not because you have an aversion for success; if you are not well endowed in your wallets and purses, it is not because you have distaste for riches; and if your life is not excessively long, it is not because you do not desire longevity.


14. To consistently complain about what your plights are and do nothing about them is to live like the sole of a shoe on the foot of a growing giant.


15. To consistently claim that you have no choice is in itself a choice to remain ignorant, thus you lack vision; to constantly complain about the drugs, sex and violence on your television while watching without fail is the pinnacle of hypocrisy; to tell others they can't because you believe that you can't is the most despicable of disservice, thus you lack hope; to claim benevolence while you do nothing to overcome malevolence is the summit of evil; to be without care for none of these is to usher in self-destruction.


16. To understand a man's station in life, you only need examine his choices.


17. Your name rings a lot more bells a lot louder when someone other than you sings your praises.


18. Those who live in fear sit on a bubble; those who face their fears stand on solid ground.


19. Those who've reached their full potential are consumed with ego; those who consistently pursue their full potential grow humble and wise.


20. Your success and true happiness is not measured by the deeds to your properties but by the properties of your deeds.


21. Those who ask questions are seekers of knowledge and agents of change; those who do not are enforcers of ignorance and agents of stagnation.


22. Those who hoard knowledge seek to control and spread tyranny; those who share knowledge seek to uplift and spread equality.

From time to time, I will continue to update you with more powerful insights and personal growth quotes so don't forget to stay in the loop by bookmarking this site and signing up for our Free Newsletter.

 

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How to Live Life in the Top 20%

This article addresses a very simple but common dilemma for many individuals. So many people, some of whom I counsel, are in a constant state of living below their true potential. In fact, the latest statistic suggests that 90% of the population only controls 7% of the financial wealth and that the top 1% is controlling almost 50% of the total financial wealth.

I don't know about you but that just sounds dismal to me.

The fact is that 80% of wealth of any kind is controlled by only 20% of the population. What's more, getting into that top 20% is a simple feat; however, it just isn't easy. I suppose if it were easy everyone would do it.

The question is, do you want to learn how to live life in the top 20%? If so, stick around – this article will cover some fundamental insights to get you on your way pronto.

Truly successful individuals see things differently; they think differently and just have a different swagger than most other people. It isn't that they are necessarily smarter; they are just more keenly aware of principles – universal laws by which the world operates. It is this understanding that sets them apart because they are able to make choices that are aligned with principles which always yield more significant and impactful results.

Truly successful individuals – the ones that live in the top 20% understand and believe in 5 fundamental principles. These can be as obtuse or as acute as they need to be depending on your goal. If you can embody and practice these 5 principles, you will begin to experience life like the top 20%.

Choice

The first principle is that of choice. Truly successful individuals understand that choice precipitates all things; that it our choices determine the results we ultimately achieve. Just remember that you have what you have and you are where you are because of the choices you have made. This is true whether you are aware of it or not or believe it or not. Take responsibility for your choices – everyone in the top 20% does.

Purpose

Without purpose, you are doomed to wander this plain in a state of mind no better than that of a mindless zombie. True purpose is a major difference between those who achieve their goals and those who do not. If you truly want to discover how to live a life in the top 20%, you must commit to finding your true purpose.

It is through purpose that we make a difference; this is the fuel that drives us to greatness. Without it, one can expect no more than a life of mediocrity.

Value

All truly successful individuals understand that regardless of what they do, they must make certain that they create and distribute value to others. Once you have discovered your true purpose, your next step is to figure out the best way you can make a difference in the lives of others through it. If through your purpose you only serve yourself, your life in the top 20% will be short-lived. We all have within us unique gifts and talents that help us create and distribute value to others; you only need look deep enough to find it.

Service

The fourth principle is that of service. What purpose do you serve – what needs do you meet? Many people misunderstood the meaning of service – often misconstruing it with subservience. Nothing could be further from the truth. Living a life in service simple means; through your unique gifts and talents you execute your true purpose in a way that creates and distributes value to others. It has nothing to do with being passive of submissive to others – rather it's more about being submissive to your spirit and doing everything you can to do as it directs you.

Love

The fifth principle is that of love. What the top 20% understand about love that most do not is that it is not a noun – it's a verb. Love is doing – doing what you love – doing onto to others as you would have them do unto you. Truly successful individuals put true love into everything that they do. They treat everyone that they connect with lovingly and act from a place of love through their deeds.

In fact, acting in true love brings the other four principles into crystal clear focus. This is because when you act from the love center, you make better choices, stay true to your purpose, serve others more benevolently which creates greater value and demonstrates authentic service.

Through the application of these 5 fundamental principles, you will discover how to live life in the top 20%.

 

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The Whole Person Concept

Too often, we forget that a person is made up of more stuff that we show gratitude and appreciation for. I have never known the days when it was standard to look at each person as a Whole Person.

That might sound a bit odd – BUT – think about it a moment…

How do you view the people in your life? Can you honestly say you see them as a whole or do you just look at and relate to them in part?

The world's greatest resource is people and to view them any less than as a whole is truly a disservice to them and you. This article focuses on the "Whole Person Concept." Essentially, it means truly viewing each person to whom you are connected in completeness.

The more you can see, understand, appreciate and show gratitude for all that a person is, the better the results you will achieve in your personal growth. Furthermore, the more you truly see a person for all that they are, the greater value you are able to add to their lives. Basically, the Whole Person Concept is a sure way to fuel motivation, empowerment, hope and ultimately true success.

The Whole Person Concept says that a person is made up of 4 quadrants – body, mind, heart and spirit. Truly successful individuals understand the importance of growing positively in all these areas. None of these are neglected in the equation because the health of each determines how high you will climb. To the degree that you can nurture and develop the 4 quadrants of you and also in others, the results you and they achieve will mirror alike.

For instance, I could, and I have, ask 100 people in a room "How many believe that the individuals that work for your organization possess more talent, more creativity and more passion than your current job requires or even allows?" Almost 100% of the time more than 90% of the people in that room raise their hands.

Now I don't know about you but to me that is a crying shame – utterly despicable. Why would any company want to hire a half a person or only part of a person? It makes perfect sense why we continue to see declines in productivity and efficiency. No one is truly valued and therefore remain unmotivated and unfulfilled. This is a recipe for lackluster results to say the least.

The Whole Person Concept requires that you tap into all 4 parts of the human make-up; body, mind, heart and spirit.

The Body

The body represents health, goods and services – it is where we meet our physical needs. Taking care of the body is crucial to your personal growth and success simply because we live in a physical world. Without a healthy body, one becomes lethargic, lazy and unmotivated.

As it relates to body, it is also important to understand the underlying symbol such as goods and services. If your goods and services are below standard, have little value and meet the needs of no one – they are useless. In other words, taking care of the body does not just mean your physical body; but also that of your work as well as your goods and services. These are also elements of the body.

Companies that put in place a strategic focus on health, work-life balance and the importance of a healthier lifestyle continue to see increases year after year in productivity, efficiency and overall morale. No matter what else is going on in the economy, when the needs of the body are met, increases in almost every area is automatic.

This is the reason it is so important not only to nurture and develop the body in positive ways but also to help others do the same.

The Mind

So often we fail to treat people like people and instead treat them more like machines. This is a prevalent condition in the corporate world. In fact, I find it absolutely ludicrous that in this day and age, you still find machines on the asset side of the balance sheet while people remain on the liability side of the balance sheet.

The truth is that it is extremely imperative for growth that we focus on tapping into and building the minds of others. Too often, people's true gifts and talents are overlooked because someone is following what it meant to be a guide as if it's the end all be all of knowledge.

The Whole Person Concept demands that you seek to grow your mind and tap into the minds of others. Find out what other people are truly good at and then help them to cultivate that in an effort to create and distribute value to others in unique ways.

So many times when you hear people complain about work, you hear about what the company is doing wrong and how no one listens to them. This is the cry of more than 90% of all employees working everywhere. This to me is a travesty.

Instead of telling people how to do something, simply relay the results you are trying to achieve and then turn them loose to find the best ways to accomplish the task. Give them the mission, make sure that they buy in and then refrain from policing their methods in how they achieve the goal.

I guarantee that the more you can do this for yourself and others, the greater the results you will achieve. A major reason for this is that people will more quickly commit to and promote what they help to create.

Remember that in the mind lives your true gifts and talents and through the body you can bring these to life. Any limitations on this will limit your personal growth and the results you achieve.

The Heart

The heart is where your true passion lives; it is where your innermost desires are born. Countless people go about their lives every day wishing for the moment when they will get the opportunity to truly do what they are passionate about.

In my experience, it does you no good to wait around for the opportunity to come to you – go forth and create it. Too many times, companies and people forget to find out what really drives others. It is important to know what makes people get out of bed in the morning – what people would do whether they got paid or not.

Think about it…

If money were no object, what would you be doing with your time? Are you doing that right now?

I am almost certain that most people would have to answer No to the second question. The sad fact is that 99% of people do not spend the bulk of their time doing what they are truly passionate about – what they truly love to do. Companies focus even less on tapping into this part of a person. They seem to function on the premise that as long as their ends are achieved, all is good. All the while though, frustration, depression and ultimately turnover begins to plague that organization. Companies with smart leadership do the opposite and see tremendous success because of it.

Even when people stay on the job, it is often just because they need a paycheck – a portion of which they spend deriving their fulfillment off the job.

In order to bring out the true greatness in others, focus on helping them to realize and develop their true passion. Passionate people always deliver better results. When you feel passionate about what you are doing, motivation, hope and empowerment all become second nature. This is a recipe for greatness.

When you are able to match people's gifts and talents with what they are passionate about, the possibilities become limitless in the success you can achieve.

The Spirit

In order to make significant strides in your personal growth and help others to grow, it is vital that you nurture and grow the spirit. The spirit is where your conscience lives – this is your inner compass. Your core values and beliefs are formed here. This is the helm from which you direct the other 3 quadrants.

The spirit tells you whether or not what you are doing is right. It validates your choices; either they are aligned with your true beliefs or they are not. When we make choices that are directed by our spirit, the results we achieve will most certainly be greater by leaps and bounds.

Just to be clear, the spirit does not necessarily have anything to do with your religious beliefs. It is more about making choices that come from your inner blueprint – the mantra by which you live your life. The spirit is where you decipher whether or not through your passion, your true gifts and talents and your service – you are truly creating and distributing value to others. The spirit is at the nucleus of body, mind and heart. Working together, they are more powerful than most can imagine.

The Whole Person

You can never truly see a person unless you can appreciate and show gratitude for all 4 quadrants of that person. True greatness comes from building all 4 – making them strong. To achieve significant strides in your personal growth, it is imperative that you understand this concept and endeavor to develop each of the 4 quadrants in yourself. Once you begin to do that, helping others to achieve the same will become a habit.

Too often parts of us sit on the sidelines waiting for the coach to put us in the game. I say stop waiting – get off the sidelines and just get in the game. The only person stopping you is you.

 

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Faith Is Not Blind

Contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as "blind faith."

Let's let that sink in a bit… ok – ready?

Most, if not all, of us have heard this term at one point or another. It is most often used in religious settings when referring to the Almighty – the Supreme Being – the Creator. Essentially, the idea of blind faith is to believe in something that you are told exists, yet perhaps not totally aware of. Furthermore, when operating in blind faith, the goal is to believe without questioning why.

Of course, being conditioned not to ever question "why" is the surest way to spread the ravenous disease known as "Unconscious Incompetence."

Unconscious Incompetence is the base level of awareness that sadly plagues the vast majority of us in insurmountable ways. Basically, it means that not only aren't you aware of yourself or your surroundings, you are oblivious to any solutions to the disease with which you have been stricken.

I know… it doesn't sound pleasant – does it?

The good news is that there is a SIMPLE cure for this disease and it starts with understanding that there is no such thing as "blind faith."

In fact, the truth is that most people who talk of blind faith are in the business of controlling the minds of others through fear and wonder. Whether they are aware of it or not is the only portion up for question; however, this is essentially what they are attempting to do when they impose upon you the charge to be ok with remaining dumb, unseen and unheard.

I don't mean to sound harsh on the concept of blind faith; however, it is imperative that you understand where I am coming from in order to receive the greatest benefit from what I am about to say in the next paragraphs.

Real change demands questions

No real change or great benefit and impact ever came about without someone first asking questions. In fact, part of our unique purpose includes consistently seeking ways to be better and make others better through our actions. This requires that we question the status quo.

Those who ask questions are seekers of knowledge and agents of change; those who do not are enforcers of ignorance and agents of stagnation.

My dad use to always say, "Observe the masses and do the opposite." I didn't realize what he was trying to tell me then in my youth; however, I have come to understand and believe in this quote. The fact is that most real change occurs when the few question the many; when the minority stand against the majority; when right is overwhelmed by wrong.

One man standing on his core values and beliefs is far better than a thousand standing on someone else's.

This is why real change demands questions. In order for us to share with the world our best selves, we must know why we are doing what we are doing; why we think the way we think. This is the only way to know what is truly important to you and the person you want to be.

Ignorance is not bliss

Ignorance only feels good in the moment; however, when the consequences begin to take toll, ignorance becomes far more painful. For many, the price is often unbearable and even sadder, most often, people are not even aware of why this pain exists in their lives.

This is because ignorance is not bliss; it can be rather painful and also do almost irreparable damage. Being unaware of yourself and those around you not only robs you of your true nature but also robs the world of your unique greatness. It is in all of us; we are all meant to do great things – we each have a unique and powerful purpose. Sadly, most of us will never realize this potential and it is mostly caused by ignorance.

Choosing to remain unaware and live in ignorance is the same as making the choice to deny your true self and worse, the entire world of your true greatness. Think about this the next time you even have the faintest thought to believe or utter the words ignorance is bliss.

Principles determine consequence

While we determine our own fates through the choices that we make; principles determine all consequence we endure. Whether we are aware of it or not or believe it or not, principles govern the level of pain or pleasure that we feel.

Certainly, our choices govern the results we ultimately achieve BUT principles govern how we reap. Essentially, the principle of choice and results say we reap what we sow; what we put out comes back to us ten and even a thousand times over. Once you understand principles and the fact that they operate in our lives unyieldingly, unbiased and unwavering, you will truly understand why blind faith does not really exist.

Principles are like "true north"; no matter where you think north is, it won't change the true direction of north. It's not something that we can vote on or solicit opinions on; north is SIMPLY north.

When we make choices grounded in correct principle – abiding by natural law – the consequences we reap will most assuredly be good. Of course, the exact opposite is also true. When we make choices that are not grounded in correct principle – that do not abide by natural law – the consequences we reap will be ill.

The important thing to understand here is that it doesn't matter what we believe; principles exist and operate impartially in our lives every single day. These are universal laws that affect each and every one of us; they govern the consequences we endure which are based on the choices we make.

Faith is a principle

It is important to understand that faith is a principle. The principle of faith essentially says that belief and confidence in and your level of conviction about something are what fuel your actions in being devout.

Here's the thing though…

If what you have faith in is grounded in correct principle, then the consequences you reap through your devotion to it will most certainly be good. Of course, the exact opposite is also true. If you choose to have faith in something that is not grounded in correct principle, then the consequences you reap will most certainly be ill.

It doesn't matter whether or not you are aware of the nature of what you believe in – if you choose to remain ignorant – the consequences will still be determined by principles.

This means that it is imperative that you always understand why you are doing what you are doing. This does not mean that you necessarily have to see something with your own eyes to believe it exists; however, it does mean that you must understand why you believe it.

Asking what things mean is not only important but also crucial to understanding who you are.

As it is faith is most often used in religious settings and this is where it tends to be most powerful and intense. It stands to reason then that it is in this realm where it is even more important to make choices that are grounded in correct principle.

In other words, saying that you believe in God and then participating in ungodly deeds such as control, manipulation and limitation does not adhere to universal law. No one has a monopoly on the truth.

Once you understand that faith is a principle; then you can begin to understand that the term "blind faith" is simply another way of saying just believe without knowing why. This is a choice to live in ignorance – to remain stricken with the disease of Unconscious Incompetence.

You see, faith is not blind – just often misdirected. The consequences of those people and things that you have faith in will come to past and will be determined by principles. It matters not that you believe it or are aware of it. It's going to happen anyway so just accept it.

If you cannot accept this, the road ahead will be difficult for you.

Fear and wonder

If you truly think about it; anyone that asks you to simply have blind faith is operating on ego. What he/she is basically saying is that they know something you don't; I am the chosen authority and I choose not to share the information because you are not capable of making your own choices to govern your life.

This is just another way to control others through fear and wonder. As one of my colleagues put it – many people have a "F.O.M.O." which means fear of missing out. Often times when a person or group of people wants to control others, they use this tactic to draw them in and then conjure up horrible consequences for non-compliance.

Those who hoard knowledge seek to control and spread tyranny; those who share knowledge seek to uplift and spread equality.

I won't ask you to believe what I have written in this article blindly – I invite you to ask questions and find your own path.

 

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The Pinnacle of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is probably one of the most critical elements of personal growth. How well you know yourself directly impacts the level at which you can improve yourself. If you do not know who you are, you will find it extremely difficult to achieve the results you desire.

Knowing who you are is extremely important in order for you make choices that truly move you closer to your ultimate goals. This means that you must be willing to take a hard and honest look at who you are so that you can make healthy choices to improve in your personal growth and become who you truly want to be.

The goal of this article is to help you understand what it means to achieve the pinnacle of self-awareness and the importance and striving to do so.

There are essentially 3 parts that make up the pinnacle of self-awareness. If you are able to practice and improve in these 3 areas, the choices you make and the results you achieve will help you achieve your goals much more efficiently and fruitfully.

1. Know Thyself

To achieve highly self-aware, it is important that you know who you truly are. This is not just about personality and superficial fluff – this is about knowing and understanding your character.

In this respect, it is crucially important that you are honest with yourself – even if it hurts. In fact, if you really want to know who you are and you want honest feedback, ask someone you trust and respect whom you know will tell you the painful truth.

Unless you become painfully aware of your shortcomings, it will be difficult for you to achieve long-term and significant success in your personal growth.

The pinnacle of self-awareness requires that you take a long hard look at yourself and then decide who you want to become. Without an honest assessment of who you are today, I assure you that it will prove an uphill battle to become who you truly want to be tomorrow.

To put it bluntly, if you are a thief and you know you're a thief – you have to be willing, courageous and honest in admitting to that. This is the only way to move forward and change that part of your character.

You see, the major mistake that many individuals make is that they do not look at their character when making these assessments; they only look at the more superficial elements usually driven by personality. Believe me there are plenty of comedic thieves out there that while making you keel over in belly-aching laughter could easily also be stealing your lunch.

The point here is that it is absolutely imperative that you are honest with you about who you are; the pinnacle of self-awareness demands it.

2. Love Thyself

The second part to the pinnacle of self-awareness is to love thyself. I know that it sounds like a pretty elementary concept; however, most fail to understand its true meaning and power.

Loving yourself requires that you truly accept, appreciate and approve of who you are. When you look in the mirror, you have to love what you see looking back at you.

Surely, this does not mean that if you are a thief – you should simply endeavor to go about loving the thief in you unless that's who you truly want to be. Of course, if this is the case – be prepared to reap all the consequences.

However, the goal is to love not only the person you see but also the person whom you are striving to become. You see, in order to begin your journey to become the new you, first you have to know the current you and love the current you. This way you can make much healthier choices in how to proceed.

The point is that while you may not be able to love the character of the current you, you can certainly love the part of your character that wants to become a better you in the first place. This is why it is important to accept, appreciate and approve of you. When you can do this genuinely, you will immediately find that it becomes a lot easier to make choices that truly impact your life significantly.

Don't be afraid to love yourself no matter what you honest self-assessment might uncover about you. The truth is that pursuing the pinnacle of self-awareness requires that you not only know who you are truly but also that you love who you are. And, if you are seeking to be better than you are today, it's definitely worth loving that character of personal growth and change within you.

Furthermore, when you truly love yourself, it teaches you how to love others. This is the true lesson behind the saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Experiencing the good feelings when you treat yourself the way you truly love to be treated helps you to express and give back to others in ways that allow them to experience the same. This is incredible not only for you but also for those you connect with.

The pinnacle of self-awareness requires that you truly love yourself and only do to and for you the things that make you truly feel loved.

3. Give Thyself

The third part to the pinnacle of self-awareness is to give thyself. Giving to you simply means that you seek to give completely only that which is healthy to your body, mind, heart and spirit.

OK, a little deep… let me explain.

You see, individuals who are highly self-aware give each of the 4 quadrants of themselves all the things they need to grow in a healthy way. In fact, as it relates you improving your personal growth, feeding the body, mind, heart and spirit with the proper food is a major component of cultivating wisdom.

In a nutshell it is important that you do to the 4 quadrants of you only things that help each grow positively. What this means is that you feed them nothing that has an adverse effect on their performance.

Certainly, no one is perfect – we all do things to ourselves that affect us in negative ways. My point here is to simply demonstrate that the more things you can do to uplift and positively grow the body, mind, heart and spirit – the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

Furthermore, as in loving yourself, the more you understand your needs and what to give yourself, the more you will be able to understand the needs of others and be able to give to them in ways that significantly impact their lives.

For a more in-depth view of how you can feed your body, mind, heart and spirit with the right foods, please read How to Develop and Cultivate Wisdom.

Practicing these 3 elements will undoubtedly make you more keenly self-aware than you have ever been. To achieve the pinnacle of self-awareness, it is important that you are in tune with all 3 of these.

The more highly self-aware you are, the greater the successes you achieve in your personal growth, development and in your dreams and goals. This is because the better you understand who you truly are, the more focused and powerful the choices you make.

So remember, know thyself, love thyself and give thyself.

 

 

 

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It’s Not You… It’s Me

What a burning shame

So many who know not what they do or say kicking dirt on my name

Their mean words penetrate

Making me feel tattered and battered; a mere patch of dried grass on which to defecate

Overcome by depression

As I wallow in my blinding ignorance unaware of the cause of my own futile aggression

Why can't I see?

That the only way to be free is to realize that it's not you… it's me

 

So terrible you wish me ill

Yet and still I am addicted to your barrage of verbal pain like a pill

Love me or love me not

I keep leaving me behind waiting to be defined by you because I think you're all I've got

I am simply not enough

But you're my one-stop shop for props to hold me up when times are rough

And in my ignorance of how to be

I just can't seem to understand that to be free, I have to realize that it's not you… it's me

 

Oh, what now?

Here comes another know-it-all telling me to turn my frown upside down

As if you truly know my plight

Or how the world always makes me feel like I can only exist in the modes of fight or flight

Eyes wide shut

I don't know whether I am in bliss or the abyss until you kiss me or punch me in the gut

Some say it's as easy as 1-2-3

But I just can't believe I'm already free; if only I would realize that it's not you… it's me

 

Tears trickle down my cheek

And still I protract the façade of being a victim of the system which keeps me weak

Sink or swim, stand or fall

I constantly live in the aftermath of my chosen path; my choice, my doing, my call

Hell today, Heaven tomorrow

It might feel strange but I can still change; choose sweet happiness and discard sorrow

Cliché though it may be

I'll never be truly free until I truly believe; I must realize that it's not you… it's me

 

~Ode to truly seeing you

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My Personal Spiritual Journey

I was inspired to write this article for 3 reasons.

First, because I have been consciously evolving in a spiritual way for most of my life and this article is in part an evolution of my spirituality and also a way of helping me develop a deeper understanding of my journey.

Second, because experience has taught me that spiritual growth often times can be a confusing and even arduous endeavor; gaining clarity is supremely important.

Third, my sincere hope is that my journey thus far helps you overcome any challenges you might be facing in your own spiritual pursuits. Although this entire article is about my spiritual journey, my goal as always when I write an article is that it creates value for you in some way.

This is a very personal topic and it is with sincere love and respect that I put fingers to keyboard to bring it to life. My hope is that you find value in the evolution of the message.

In the beginning…

I was raised to be a Christian. My parents have a deep and abiding belief in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. In growing up, my parents obviously passed on the best of themselves to me and my siblings. Part of this was of course how they chose to pursue their spirituality – to achieve connection to the divine creator.

In this vein, I was taught to believe in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I went to church, read the King James Bible and prayed every day (Well almost every day… ). During my childhood up to my teens, You could say that by all accounts I was a Christian.

By the time I reached my mid teens though, I noticed that I started to struggle with my Christian beliefs. I became unsure of what I was truly supposed to believe and what it truly meant to me. At the time, it didn't seem like such a big deal – I mean I had girls to think about – oh yeah – and school too.

What was certain was that I was very unsure of where my spirituality was going – I wasn't even sure at the time whether or not I thought it was truly important. Still, I was still Christian, still attending church and still reading the bible and praying because I thought it was the right thing to do. For the first time in my spiritual journey, I was truly searching for my own answers.

What happened next…

Over the next few years through my experiences, I began to feel very differently. I started to look at religion and spirituality in a new way. I no longer saw the point of any religion – in fact, I thought that they were all powerful devices designed to control others through fear and wonder.

With this new found enlightenment, I became rebellious against organized religion and began to pursue the Atheist beliefs. Essentially, in my late teens up to my mid twenties, I truly believed that there was no God and certainly no such thing as heaven or hell. I believed that my thoughts were my own – derived through my own internal motivation and inspiration. I did not believe in any life after physical death.

Furthermore, I was sure that the body, mind, heart and spirit although connected were in fact just different pieces in the same puzzle. I thought that what affected one did not necessarily affect the other.

Some of these feelings and new found beliefs were brought on by some of the greed and controlling attitudes that I witnessed in the religious world. I saw a lot of disingenuous acts by so-called Christians that truly turned me off.

This evolution had taken me to what I now refer to as the dark side of my being where I believed in nothing. The only thing that mattered was the present and what I did to affect it. During this chapter of my life, it was all about me.

A new chapter…

Still, my spirit was not settled – I was still at war within over where I truly belonged in the spiritual sense. With all the things that we go through in life – this issue did not seem so important at the time and yet it was a big draw on my energy.

I spent a great deal of time trying to find some sense of direction – a sign of some kind that said hey – this is the way to true enlightenment. Although I did not make it a point of focus to search for such an outlet or vessel, my mind remained open to any possibility.

By this time in my life, I had also begun another journey – the pursuit of personal excellence. In so doing, I also began to share my experiences with others in an effort to help them improve their own personal growth. This new way of learning, growing and sharing seemed to come very natural to me. I began to feel truly alive in ways I hadn't experienced before.

It was through this vessel that I came upon my next spiritual evolution. I was introduced to the Palo way of life. Palo, which comes out of the African Congo, is a way of life that says that we are all connected. This way of life advocates calling upon one's ancestral spirits to provide inspiration, guidance and enlightenment. In so doing, we channel this energy to improve our lives and the lives of those you touch through what you do.

Being a part of Palo seemed to sit much better with my spiritual being. I was more in-tuned with myself – with who I am and much more aware of others and my surroundings. I began to respect all life and embrace differences. Through meditation, I was able to go into that part of myself that I admit had eluded me my whole life up until that point. The clarity in my choices that I experienced during this spiritual evolution was amazing.

The personal growth I experienced as a Palero was incredible; I can hardly describe the tremendous energy I felt every day at this point in my life.

What truly appealed to me was the concept that the body, mind, heart and spirit are one; that when these four quadrants are in alignment, true greatness occurs. As I continued to grow personally and help others to do the same, I truly began to feel the power of the universal force that binds us all working through me.

It was also during this part of my spiritual journey that I began to truly believe that I am a part of everything and that everything is a part of me. I began to understand that the universal force – the divine – was working through all of us as one even though we functioned separately. I realized that the only thing that can block our true greatness is in fact us.

As tremendous an impact that Palo has had on my personal growth and spiritual development, it too started to tug at me. As I continued to evolve personally and spiritually, there were some things about the Palo way of life that began to fall out of alignment with my core values – my inner compass. As I became more connected with who I truly am as well as more connected with others, the Palo doctrines no longer seemed to be the perfect fit. It became more like trying to stick a round peg into a square hole.

This was initially very confusing for me; however, through the great examples of my mentors and seeking true understanding, I was able to come to terms with what was happening to me.

Coming of age…

After I separated myself from the Palo way of life, a new evolution began in my spiritual growth. I read as much as I could and learned as much as I could in an effort to become even more keenly self-aware.

It had taken some time – up to my early thirties, but I finally realized what I had been searching for all along. You see, up until this point, I was always looking outward for the answers to my spiritual growth instead of looking where I needed to look in the first place – inward.

In looking within, I discovered some key things which changed my entire perspective on spirituality and gave me true direction and purpose.

My true purpose in life is to help others recognize and appreciate their true gifts and talents so that they can achieve their dreams and goals. I wrote my mission statement specifically to embody this vision.

What I discovered was that we are all here to serve each other in one way or another. Our true purpose is to create and distribute value to others through what we do. It doesn't matter so much what you do – only that you derive true fulfillment from it and that others benefit from your work.

With this in mind, and looking inward, I discovered that my core values, my true beliefs and my spiritual direction were in fact the same. In other words, I know that I am here on this physical plane to be of service; I also know that my true passion in life is the pursuit of excellence in myself and helping others find the same in themselves. I further believe that by aligning my body, mind, heart and spirit whereby my spirit is the guiding force behind my choices, I will achieve the greatest results in myself and others.

In this belief, each and every day that I am alive, I strive to be more aligned; to be more than I was yesterday and be more of a benefit in the lives of others. I endeavor to give without expectation and continue to learn new things each day.

The most incredible discovery of all at this point was that we are all in a state of constant evolution whether we are aware of it or not. To the degree that you are aware of this principle of evolution, your success in directing your power will mirror that degree.

With my own inner compass – my core values – as the guiding force in my life, I continue to feed the four quadrants of my being in the most positive ways. It's not always easy; however, it is simple once I commit to the follow through. As I continue to do this, I continue to grow in unimaginable ways that allow me to be more effective in achieving my goals and helping others to achieve theirs.

This does not mean that there is nothing else to learn from others. In fact, it is exactly the opposite. There is an unlimited amount of knowledge to gain from everyone and everything once you remain open to receiving the value in all things. This is the greatest gift of the universe; finding the value in all things. First you must believe that there is for only then will you be able to see it.

At this point in my spiritual journey, I was deeply humbled and fulfilled; not just because of where I was but even more so about where I was going. You see, my hope for the future became brighter and I truly began to believe in limitless possibilities.

I still cannot find words to explain why; however, this has been the most incredible feeling that I have ever experienced. Believing through and through, understanding and knowing in your heart of hearts that all things are possible is what fuels the never-ending circle of excellence.

No more labels…

It was through this self-discovery that I also realized what had been truly tugging at me each time I made a spiritual transition. It was the fact that each was labeled in some fashion. Each doctrine required that you give up certain things; do things a certain way or else. These infrastructures to me seemed more controlling and limiting than anything else – thus I was unable to accept them fully.

That being said, I have found something else that is truly fascinating.

Although I have not done in-depth studies on these, I have found it to be true of all major religious orders, ways of life and faiths. They are all built on these three principles:

First, that there is an existing power – energy – a universal force that is beyond our comprehension that connects us all. Whether we refer to this force as the Creator, God, Allah, Buddha, Yahweh or Tata Sambe doesn't really matter.

Second, that through our pursuit to become more connected to this source and lead others to it is where true happiness lies. The more connected we are the more success we see in all areas of our lives and the lives of others which effectively leads to greater happiness.

Third, that the more we live true to this awareness and do our very best through our choices and actions to bring others true happiness, the closer we get to this source – or as Christians say – the closer we get to God.

I truly believe in these three principles and I further believe that it doesn't matter how you pursue them so long as you do so for righteous reasons. Because of this, labels simply do not work for me in my spiritual pursuits. I believe that I have as much to learn from Christians as I do Buddhists. No one has a monopoly on the truth or in how we pursue our connection to the universal force that binds us all.

This belief of course is mine and it is personal; it has nothing to do with having you believe the same.

The truth is that whether you consider yourself a Christian, a Buddhist, a Jew, a Gentile, a Hindu, an Agnostic or you just consider yourself spiritual, no religious title will ever be as important as how you live your life.

As one unknown author puts it…

"There are limits to the time you have to live; however, there are no limits to how you live your time."

Regardless of what faith you choose to follow, the more important factor is that you endeavor to create and distribute value to others. Your choices and your actions must be grounded in correct principle – the natural laws of the universe in order for you to ascend spiritually.

So what do I know…

Everything and Nothing!

I know everything about what I believe to be true today and nothing about the evolution of tomorrow because I have not yet gone through it. This is to simply say that I know that I am in a state of constant evolution and that change is inevitable. This is the reason that it is so important to live from a principle center.

You see, it doesn't matter how much you know or how much things change, principles do not. They operate in the same manner – unbiased and unchanging no matter what. What I am saying is that there is no substitute for doing the right things.

As it relates to my (your) spiritual growth, so long as you truly believe in your heart of hearts that your actions are the right thing to do, you feed your spiritual growth in the most positive ways. Certainly when you do something that is not righteous, the consequences will be the same whether you are aware of it or not. The difference is that if you truly were unaware that your actions were negative and you live from a principle center, changing your direction will be an easy decision.

All of this in summary just means that spiritual growth takes place in many ways and comes in many forms. What I have learned is that you have to do what makes the most sense for you.

In other words, if being a Buddhist helps you put your best self forward in improving your life and the lives of others, by all means go with that. As long as your inner compass stays pointed on true north, you're good.

There truly is no wrong or right in any religion – only in the way we interpret their principles and live our lives. This means that it is not the label that grows your spirituality; it is what you give and what you do.

It is only when you are open to receive the wisdom and energy of that divine connection that connects us all – only then can you truly experience the power of the universal energy working through you.

And the saga continues…

My spiritual journey continues and will infinitely be in a state of constant evolution. The more I grow personally and the more aware I become, the more aligned I will be. Furthermore, I believe that we are all meant for greatness; we have only to truly believe it to manifest it.

Spiritually, I have never been clearer about how to pursue my spiritual growth. What works for me is a life without labels; I love to learn from everyone and everything. It is extremely important to me that I remain free of devices that alter my choices simply based on an organized doctrine. My choices are made from a center of principle – well most of the time anyway – after all I am no angel.

All I am simply saying is that when I am putting my best self forward, my aim is always to do the right thing. I allow my spirit – my conscience to guide my choices and actions. I operate in service to others and I truly seek to find the best in all situations.

Whether you believe it or not, I am connected to you and you are connected to me; we are all connected to each other. To me that means that the more I elevate my consciousness and help others to elevate theirs in my own way, the more connected we become and the closer we are to that universal force that binds us all.

In a nutshell, while my spiritual journey will continuously evolve, the principles by which I pursue my spirituality and my life will remain the same.

FAQ…

Ok, so I can imagine if you've read this far, you probably have a few bubbling questions. At least, I know I would after reading this.

Well, you can always drop me a note if you want to know more.

In the meantime, I've anticipated that the following questions may be some of the more burning ones that are begging for answers. I will attempt to answer them right here right now.

Q: Do you believe in God and the Devil?

A: Yes; however, perhaps not in the same way most might. I believe that the universal force (God) that binds us all lives in all of us and to the degree that we believe and are aware of this, the more connected we become.

It stands to reason then that I believe that there is a universal force that can separate us (Devil); therefore, the less we believe and the less aware we are, the more disconnected we become.

To me, God and the Devil is how we collectively choose to channel the universal force that binds us all. I do not believe that God and the Devil are one and separate beings from one another but rather two sides of the same force that is connected to everyone and everything.

Q: Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?

A: Again, yes; however, probably not in the traditional sense. Heaven and Hell I believe are created by the choices we make right here and right now. I do not believe that these are separate places where we go when we die but rather the realities that we create while we live.

Heaven then would be represented by true happiness and hell by utter despair and sadness. I believe that if you choose to pursue excellence and endeavor to create and distribute value to others in a way that truly fulfills and enriches your life and the lives of others that you will effectively create your heaven.

In that vein, I believe that the opposite is true for creating your own hell. If you only pursue the worst in yourself, create and distribute no value for others and continue to live an empty unfulfilling life, you will effectively create your hell.

Essentially, I do not believe that heaven and hell are physical places but rather states of being.

Q: What do you believe happens when we die?

A: I DON'T KNOW! Truthfully, I could never even formulate an answer for this because until it happens or someone who has died tells you, I don't think you can know.

But, the question is what do I believe happens… right? Well, I believe that we simply go back to being a part of that universal force that binds us all – just in a different form. This is because I also believe that this physical life is only one state of being and that everything is first spiritual before it is physical.

I truly hope that this article has helped you in some way in your own spiritual journey. If you have any more questions, please feel free to contact me.

Happy evolving!

 

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The Seed of Hope

My friend Sam writes a pretty impressive blog called The Seed of Hope. I absolutely love the work that he does with this blog; it is truly inspiring. It is not really a surprise that the name of Sam's blog is now one of my article titles because my friend's blog truly drives home the whole point of planting seeds of hope.

The goal of this article is to help raise your awareness to the fact that we are all constantly planting seeds of hope or despair. It is important that you grasp this concept so that you can in turn make healthier choices about the things you say and do.

Once you are able to understand how much what you say and do affect others, you will instantly see why it is so important to make sure you are planting seeds of hope rather than those of despair.

Have you ever heard the story of Kyle? Please take a moment to read his story…

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him, so I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks." They really should get lives. "He looked at me and said "Hey, thanks."

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your words and actions. If not for this one kind gesture – someone having the courage to plant the seed of hope, Kyle would be just another statistic. The idea of the seed of hope is pretty simple…

…say or do something to help another person believe in possibilities that they otherwise would not have. It is the act of letting someone else know that he/she can when all he/she can think of is CAN'T.

The fact is that you just never know how your words and actions will affect others. This is the reason why it is so important to be responsible for what we say and do because you can truly add value to people's lives when you focus on the positives.

As one of my friends once put it…

"You can remove the nails from the fence but the holes are still there."

Essentially, what it means is that you can't take back your words and actions once you've said or done them. Certainly, we all make mistakes and for those times when we hurt others unintentionally – we can apologize and take steps to make amends.

The important thing to understand is that we are all capable of planting seeds of hope or despair so we ought to be more conscientious about the things we say and do to others.

Planting seeds of hope can happen just by chance as in the story above – just by being a nice person; however, there are definitely habits you can develop to ensure that you consistently plant seeds of hope.

Following are 3 habits that will most certainly help you become a more consistent hope seed planter.

Affirm others

One of the most effective ways to plant seeds of hope is to consistently affirm others. This builds confidence and inspires others to greatness they never thought they possessed.

The power of affirming others is so tremendous because it tells those whom you affirm that you recognize their gifts – that you do in fact see them and appreciate them. In a moment of doubt and negativity, a simple affirmation of another could literally turn suicidal thoughts into thoughts of life. You just never know.

It could be as simple as looking someone in the eyes and saying "I believe in you. You can do this."

One of my mentors consistently affirms me by simply giving me a gem when it's time for me to present or speak in front of an audience. He'd always say "Dean, all you have to do is rub this gem and they can't touch you. You got this – you know your stuff."

I am not sure he knows; however, those moments really do help a lot – they plant a seed of hope every single time.

Don't forget to tell others how much you appreciate what they do – it will always go a long way.

Understand others

Can you remember that last time you felt truly understood by another human being? How did it make you feel? It's an incredible feeling isn't it?

Sometimes, all it takes to plant the seed of hope is to show others that you truly understand them – empathize with their plight.

The important thing here is to make sure that you are genuine – that you truly want to understand what the other person is going through. Seeking to understand has to be real – you have to mean it – you have to truly want to understand. This is the only way that the other person will feel the connection you are trying to make. Unless that connection is made, you won't be able to plant the seed of hope.

Understanding is a major human need – we all seek to be understood – and when we are, kit makes us feel great. There is nothing better than an understanding soul to tame frustrated beast.

It's simple – when you feel frustrated because you believe that no one understands you – the seed of hope is planted the moment you come across someone that does truly understand you. You instant begin to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel because someone else can truly relate to what you are experiencing.

Understanding always plants the seed of hope.

Share & Teach

Another one of my mentors always said that the best way to continue learning is to share and teach what you know to others. I have found that this is definitely true. Furthermore, I have also found that it's a powerful way to plant seeds of hope.

It is through our experiences and knowledge that we can impart some of who we are on others and touch their lives. Different people may find different elements of value in your knowledge and experience; however, unless you share it – unless you teach others, those seeds of hope remain dormant.

It's not about you showing off because you know something that others may not; it is about truly sharing yourself so that others might benefit from your knowledge and experience. Knowledge is useless unless it is shared. In fact it is our duty as a human being to share our knowledge and experience in an effort to make others better – to make the world better.

You don't have to try to save the world; however, we can all make the genuine effort to help those we connect with be better than they were when you met them. The whole point is that you plant seeds of hope consistently when you strive to use knowledge and experiences to leave the world a better place than it was while you were a part of it.

Consistently developing these 3 habits will ensure that you are always planting seeds of hope rather than those of despair.

If you need more inspiration, pop over to my friend, Sam's blog for an instant lift. Tell him I sent you.

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Why You Shouldn’t Read My Blog

The title of this post may shock you; after all, the point of having a blog is that others will read the content. In fact, I expect it! With that said, it begs the question: Why would I write an article titled "Why You Shouldn't Read My Blog?"

One of my mentors once encouraged me to not only read books that interest me or that are in line with my principles and values but also to read those that are not. He said read often, read everything so that you might develop a more well-rounded view of the world and even if you derive no other value but that it strengthens your convictions in your own beliefs, it would still be totally worth it. You know what – he's right. I have found this lesson to be tremendously beneficial in my life.

Since I began publishing this blog, I have received many comments, questions, concerns, applause, praise, ridicule, indifference, love, support, challenges, rebuttals, alliance and so forth. What has been most interesting are the individuals that either peg me as a bull shit artist with the gift of gab or a guru with a magic pill to fix all problems.

The truth is that I am neither of the two and if you wish to continue to believe that I am either one, you shouldn't read my blog.

A journey not a pit stop

My blog, which is my gift to you, is a journey and not a pit stop. Many of us only desire the end result of hard work; however, we have little interest in the hard work part. Many of us have no desire to pay the price for greatness and yet still we claim to desire it.

Pit stops are for race cars and road trip bathroom breaks – not personal growth.

You have probably seen dozens – hundreds maybe – of websites all warning you to beware of "quick fixes" and all the while they are only buttering you up to sell you their version of a "quicker fix."

The truth is that there is no such thing – you won't find it here or anywhere else no matter what you've heard. Use your brains – I think you have one – and think for a moment…

If "quick fixes" really worked would anyone really have to sell it to you? Furthermore, you already know that if they did in fact produce desirable results – many people wouldn't even want to share the secrets.

If you are looking for a "quick fix" for your personal growth and development, you definitely shouldn't read my blog.

I am whatever you say I am…

When you read the content on this website; you are reading words that flow directly from my experiences. I put in my body, mind, heart and spirit into every post. Sometimes, they may not hit the spot for you and other times, they may be just what you need.

The truth is that my goal in writing and expanding upon this website is not only to grow personally but to ensure that what I am putting out is of value to others. While all of this is my passion, the work and the effort are all about you.

I am whatever you say I am – this means that the value that I represent to you is not how I perceive it to be but rather what you perceive it to be. I cannot take the audacious position of presuming exactly how I am a value to you – this is a very personal thing – something you must decipher on your own.

The way that you receive and interpret my work may be totally different from the way someone else does and that is ok – in fact – it's expected.

The most important thing is this; while you continue to visit and read the content here, you have a right to expect a value for your time. Whether the value helps you improve in your personal growth, build your character, jazz up your personality or simply strengthen your convictions, you should definitely expect to receive a value for your time.

If you are not deriving some kind of value to your life by spending time here, you shouldn't read my blog.

Compensation

I do believe that when you create and distribute value to others, you should expect to receive a fair compensation for the value that you provide. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Compensation can come in many forms – it is your choice what forms you choose to accept for the value that you create. In any event, there is no reason that you shouldn't get paid for the work you do.

Of course, getting compensated for the value you provide should not be confused with the reason you do what you do. In other words, if you do what you do only to receive compensation, then the value that you create and distribute will only be to you. If anything but your conscience (your spirit) is the guiding force what you decide to do with your life, your value to others will be greatly diminished.

As for this blog, my gift to you, the reason for its existence is untainted by the pursuit for the almighty dollar – compensation. The work I do here and in other places and my circle expand comes from within – it is my true passion and purpose in life and I do it because it brings me joy and fulfillment beyond my wildest dreams.

With that said, I am by no means naïve. We live, after all, in a material world and in this world, the way you sustain your lifestyle so that you can continue to create and distribute value to others is by earning a paycheck of some sort. Whether you work for someone else or you are an entrepreneur, the fact is you have to get paid or suffer the consequences.

While the reasons behind my choices do not include money in any way, I do expect to be paid a fair price for the value I provide. I like being able to care for my family and live a lifestyle that makes me feel good about what I have accomplished. I don't need materials to feed my ego; however, I do need to live somewhere, clothe myself and eat healthily.

If you don't think I deserve compensation for the value I provide – that's ok – you're entitled to your opinion. Nonetheless, I do expect fair compensation for the work I do – not because that's the reason I do it but because it is correct principle and it's how we sustain ourselves in the physical world.

If you don't believe that people deserve fair compensation for the value that they provide, guess what – you shouldn't read my blog.

Finally…

You shouldn't read my blog if you have no desire whatsoever to be better than you are today; to be of service to others; if you only wish to continue your meaningless pursuit of a mediocre life where you simply bounce from point to point with no real purpose or desire to seek it; with no openness to embrace change, respect differences, show love and receive love; if you choose not to be a human being, respect the universe and value principles; if you choose not to live a life in gratitude, appreciation, and generosity; if you have no hope for the future, if you believe in nothing and fall for everything; if you are a pessimistic cynic who thinks only of the worst in others while ignoring the best; if you only think of yourself first, foremost and always which is the mindset of a complete moron – YOU SHOULDN'T READ MY BLOG!

Now send me an e-mail right now if you made it all the way to the end of this article. Will I see you again here?

 

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When It All Falls Down

Often times when we have recurring unpleasant instances in our lives, it is usually easier to blame others and/or circumstances for our plight. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter that we know it’s not true, we continue to repeat the same patterns and expect different results.

I have counseled and talked with so many individuals who fall victim to this type of thinking over and over again. While there are many habits, techniques and success principles you can learn, discover and adapt to achieve your goals, it’s not always easy to see what is corroding your path.

The focus of my blog is about making the conscious choice to take responsibility for your own personal growth so that you can achieve your dreams and goals. With that in mind, you will find many articles that speak to many different aspects of personal growth and how you can profoundly and positively impact your life.

What is often missing and/or missed though is the realization of the types of occurrences that corrode our lives and the world at large.

By no means am I attempting to be self-righteous; however, I heard something recently that I must share with you. It goes to the core of what it means to truly have significance – make a difference and contribute to the world.

Ok, back to earth before I go on…

Mahatma Gandhi is certainly one of the most influential individuals that ever lived. He is responsible for the ushering in of an independent Indian nation in 1947. Gandhi said and did many great things in his life; however, there is one expression of principles he shared that I feel compelled to share with you.

Essentially, Gandhi believed that when the following 6 states exist, a society, a nation and even a person will break down. After hearing what he shared in these 6 states, I must say that I too agree. Of course, all the states may not exist in your life at the same time; however, it is important to understand how they might apply to your life.

Following are 6 states that when existing individually or in combination can cause significant break down in society, a nation and in an individual.

1.   Wealth without Work

There is of course nothing wrong with wealth; however, how it is acquired makes a big difference. In virtually every case, you will find that wealth that is not earned is either squandered or used for ill and selfish reasons.

When you acquire wealth for which you put in no work, your level of appreciation is almost non-existent. Especially for those who inherit great wealth, it is important to understand the meaning of work. To have things simply handed to you on a silver platter only creates a sense of entitlement and not empowerment.

The work in wealth is where you learn how to use that wealth to create and distribute value to the world. Without work, your wealth means nothing and will probably serve no one but yourself.

2.    Pleasure without Conscience

This is an easy one to fall victim to; I think that most of us have – I know I have. While there are degrees of selfish pleasure, the fact is that without conscience it becomes harmful fun.

Yes, I know it might be hard to swallow; however, it is undeniable. Any fun you have at the expense or pain of others is destructive. Some cases may be milder than others but nonetheless, it is a damaging act. Doing things just because they feel good regardless of injury to others can sometimes do irreparable harm.

It is far better to be true to whom you are, keep your word and have a clear conscience.

3.    Knowledge without Character

So much of what we put in to the measure of people is about formal authority even though the most important authority is moral authority. What good is what you know if you are not a person of good moral stature?

There is nothing wrong with knowledge; however, how you use it is crucial. If you are not using your knowledge to create value in the lives of others – to help others – to uplift, empower and encourage, then you are just an egomaniacal windbag.

I believe that a person’s character is far more important that his/her level of knowledge because if your intentions are anything other than good, knowledge only makes you dangerous. Knowledge is powerful and with great power comes great responsibility. Spider-man isn’t the only one who needs this lesson.

The fact is that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care. In order to truly care about others, you need to have strong moral character.

4.    Commerce without Morality

Most of us have probably seen this at some point in our lives. So much of the corrosion in business comes from people trying to get over on other people; cutting corners and trying to do as little as possible while expecting as much as possible.

Too often we have partners cheating partners or vendors cheating customers. Eventually what you get is the old cliché of “no honor among thieves.” How can there be honor where deception exists?

The pinnacle of excellence in commerce is not for one group to be rich and the other poor but rather for all to prosper. A friend once said to me that the world is not big enough to be ideal to which I replied “my friend, the truth is that man’s ideals are not big enough for the world.” There is more than enough to go around – we have only to create it.

5. Science without Humanity

We have had so many wonderful technological breakthroughs just in my lifetime alone; however, unless they are used for the betterment of humanity, they are indeed worthless. Science is not better than man; in fact, without man, science remains dormant. Isn’t it ironic that man can make such scientific progress and then allow their very achievements to be used in ways that destroy themselves?

I mean seriously, without humanity, science is just Dr. Frankenstein on steroids. Science serves no truly worthwhile purpose if it hurts humanity. It must be used in humane ways or else the very purpose of it is utterly defeated.

To understand this better, I offer this analogy:

The idea of cloning continues to be a controversial topic especially when you look at the reasons for desiring the practice. For instance, if you cloned a human being only for the sake of harvesting the organs to save another person’s life, that is inhumane. Once you’ve cloned someone, that clone becomes a living person with feelings and freedoms that we all enjoy.

On the other hand, if you simply cloned a heart so that you can implant it into someone who needed one, that is humane. No one died but someone can be saved. In my view, this would be science with humanity.

6.    Worship without Sacrifice

Whether it is your religion, your values or your way of life, if you aren’t willing to pay the price to maintain it – it means absolutely nothing.

There can be no true worship without sacrifice. By worship, it does not only refer to religious beliefs but also to your value system. No matter how much you claim to believe in or stand for something, if you falter at the first sign of adversity, you’re just living in a house of cards.

You have to be willing to stand on your beliefs – your values – your way of life even when you stand alone. True worship is in the sacrifices that you are willing to make because you believe deeply in its worth. The very definition of worship means devotion, respect and reverence. To fold when the going gets tough is to show disrespect and irreverence to what you claim to believe in and stand for.

Remember these 6 states now that you are aware of them and endeavor to make sure that they are not at play in your life. The results you achieve in your personal growth and success will be significantly increased the more you can minimize these occurrences.

From experience I can tell you that it is at the times that I have minimized these 6 states that I have seen the greatest success in my personal and business relationships. Conversely, it is at the times that I was not aware one or a combination of these was at play in my life that I have seen my most lack-luster failures.

Obviously no one is perfect; however, striving to minimize these occurrences in your life will undoubtedly bring about profound and positive changes in your personal growth and success.

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The 5 Levels of Initiative

Initiative is one of those words that is thrown around very loosely without any real understanding or meaning behind it – at least – in my experience. You may often hear one person telling another “you never take any initiative” or simply asking “Why don’t you take some initiative?”

The truth is that we all take initiative; the difference is usually in degree or levels and not so much the act. It is important that you understand initiative on all its levels so that you can bring real meaning to your actions. In so doing, you will be able to better access and accept the consequences of your actions.

Often times I talk to individuals whom can’t seem to grasp the consequences of their actions and in many of those cases, they are complete unaware of what or how their degree of initiative affected the situation.

You see, there are in fact 5 levels of initiative. At which level you choose to act in any given situation will be determined by your level of commitment and the importance of what you seek to do. Of course if you are neither aware of your commitment level nor the importance of your actions – you will certainly not know at what level you should initiate.

The goal of this article is to help you understand the following 5 levels of initiative so that you are more aware of your actions in any given situation.

1.   Wait until told

This of course is the absolute lowest form of initiative. What is even scarier is that this is where most people operate for all the action in their lives aside from the routine of brushing teeth and changing underwear.

Think about your own workplace…

How often have you heard some say something to the effect of “Nobody told me to do that”, or “That’s not part of my job.” We hear these types of statements constantly. We hear them even in the face of something that needs doing yet no one will take action unless someone tells them to.

In my experience, this level of initiative almost never yields any worthwhile results and it certainly does not create greatness in anyone or any project. If we were to look at the levels of initiative as a food chain, you’d be eaten alive the moment you were born if you lived on this end of the totem pole.

2.    Present and seek consensus

The next level of initiative is to present your case and seek consensus. This is most effective when you are working with a group of people. Depending on the action you want to take, it might go over a lot better if you seek consensus from your teammates. Chances are that they will go along with your plan if you are able to make them see that it will help to achieve the group’s desired result.

On the other hand, some people take this route in an effort to cover their ass. They want to make sure that if the plan fails they can say that everyone agreed with the plan so it is everyone’s fault that the plan failed.

This type of behavior is prevalent in Corporate America; everyone is most often taking initiative but always from a standpoint of covering their asses.

This level of initiative is appropriate as long as the reason for taking it is in the best interest of your team.

3.    Ask for permission

Sometimes, initiative just requires you to ask for permission. Often times, people don’t make a move and also don’t bother to find out whether or not they can make a move. Especially if the action required isn’t part of the original plan – many times people fail to simply ask for permission.

In my experience, I have found that in many cases when you simply ask for permission, it is often granted. This is almost always true when what you are seeking to do brings value to the person from whom you seek permission to act.

Although on its face this level of initiative seems easy to take, most people do not do it. They fear the response they might get; they assume they know what others will say or they doubt themselves so much that they would rather not ask.

The worst fear of people is public humiliation and if they believe that asking permission might bring about such an event, they will not ask.

I say ask away.

If you know that what you seek to do is not only important but will bring value to others, especially to the person from whom you seek permission – I say ask away. Don’t fear the response you might get – just think about the negative consequences that might occur if you don’t at least ask permission to take an important action.

Asking permission works best when the action you seek to take is out of the scope of the original plans and when the act might be intrusive to others while they are unaware of the reason.

4.    Act now and beg forgiveness later

The next level of initiative is to act first and beg forgiveness later. Most people won’t even come close to doing this for fear of the consequences.

This level of initiative takes tremendous confidence and courage. Additionally, it is important to feel in your heart of hearts that you are doing the right thing.

To act first requires that unless you simply take action, you might miss the window of opportunity to make a difference. In other words, if you were to wait to seek permission or get consensus, it would create a situation where it is too late to act.

As long as the action you seek to take will create value for yourself or others and you truly believe that it is better to act first and then beg forgiveness later, I say go for it. If your intentions are pure, there is no reason not to risk it – at least in my view.

Most people are afraid to do this because they don’t want to deal with the backlash if what they attempt doesn’t work or turns out to be an act that yields nothing. People who take this level of initiative are usually confident and believe in their heart of hearts that they are doing the right thing.

5. Just do it

This is the highest level of initiative and it is the hardest one to get to. This is the reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail miserably and why people almost never get the promotion they keep complaining that they never get.

Like Nike – most people are afraid to just do it. The fact is that there comes a time when you have to stop taking and make a move. Too many opportunities are missed because of too much talking, too much planning, and too much thinking… just too much. Sometimes all that is required is action – one act begets another which begets another until you reach your goal.

This level of initiative is never going to be comfortable – EVER! It requires you to constantly step out of your comfort zone; however, it almost always yields levels of growth you cannot even imagine. If you consistently wait for this and wait for that, you shouldn’t sit around wondering why life is passing you by. It’s no secret that it’s because you aren’t doing anything about it. Take some INITIATIVE.  

The “just do it” level of initiative works best for making changes in your life. It is the example you set for others to follow. It is the point at which you admit your fear and courageously act anyway in an effort to take right action.

This level of initiative might also apply when in a group setting where no one in the group is making a move that gets you closer to the desired result. Sometimes, even teams do not improve until someone confidently and courageously makes a move.

Sometimes, you just have to do it and live with the consequences of your actions.

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What I Learned While on Hiatus

The posting of this article marks 45 days since I went on what I am calling a hiatus from my blog. It wasn’t a planned leave; it was more like a function of what state my personal and professional life were in at the time. I wouldn’t say I was forced to take a leave of absence; however, I would definitely say I needed some thinking space.

The beauty of my hiatus is that I had no clue that I would learn so much from being absent from one of my favorite things. I absolutely love writing for this blog; I truly enjoy the responses I get about how my work impacts you. When I hear that I have added value to your life because of what I write, it fills me with hope and drive to continue.

With that said, that same fuel was derailing me in other areas; I was on a feverish pace to churn out great content regularly. If you are a regular reader of my blog, then you know that I normally post about 8-10 articles a month. It turns out that this pace was getting a bit overwhelming for me largely due to my other obligations I was starting to neglect in the name of fueling my blog.

Undoubtedly, it was worth it – at least for the short run because with your support I have been able to build up a pretty good following. On the other hand, as long as I was creating and distributing value to others, I am sure that would have happened eventually anyway so it might have served be better to strike a good balance. Well, no use crying over spilled milk so let’s move on – shall we?

The incredible thing about my leave – my hiatus – is that I learned so much. I was able to observe people and the world from different perspectives. I didn’t realize how one-track minded I had become in publishing article after article without looking out the window. Once I did, I discovered a whole new world and even had an epiphany about my own situation of experiencing a bit of burn-out.

You see, publishing at the pace I was going caused some other areas of my personal and professional life to suffer. In some ways I thought that I had to keep going in order to build a solid base and I was even afraid of letting up because I thought that my following might diminish.

You know what? My following has actually increased significantly in the past 45 days – more visits and more page views. For that I truly thank you!

That in and of itself was an eye-opening lesson for me. The fact is that if my blog has valuable content, people will read it. Furthermore, I have over 5 dozen articles in my archives so unless you’re sitting at your PC for about 5-10 hours straight, you couldn’t even put a dent in this small library let alone retain or put into practice what you’ve read. The whole point is that there is more than enough content on the site to keep readers busy for 45 days.

With that said, it doesn’t mean that I don’t constantly need to publish new content – it just means that I am able to find more of a balance among all my obligations while still ensuring that the work I do on my blog is valuable and worthwhile.

While on hiatus, I discovered that I need to re-evaluate my focus and implement 3 elements into my daily life – I need to make these habits.

1.   Organization

It may not have seemed that way from the outside; however, I learned that in many ways I was extremely disorganized. From my observation of others, I realized how disorganized I was. When things are in disarray, it can quickly lead to imbalance and tip the scale in ways that are counter-productive to your desires.

What was most interesting was that I learned that although I was usually an organized person as it pertains to my physical spaces; my thoughts weren’t always. This is where my major problem lies – it was an incredible discovery. What’s more, I instantly felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders the moment that the realization hit me.

The fact is that if I want to bring balance back to my life, I have to get organized – both physically and mentally. Basically, it is when your dreams are manifesting at a momentous pace that your thoughts can become more disorganized very quickly. Well, I won’t confess anyone else’s sins – perhaps this only applies to me.    

Essentially, I learned that in order for me to move to the next phase of my journey, I have to clean house and do some mental organization. I have to refocus my thoughts and practice to tune out the unimportant ones. This way, I won’t lose sight of what is most important to me.

2.    Prioritization

I know that priority is very important when pursuing your goals and I thought I was consistent with this practice. Once again, I had a rude awakening to my own failing in this area.

Once I took off running with publishing for my blog, my focus became too narrow. It became so narrow that I lost track of the other priorities in my life. In fact, my blog became the PRIORITY.

Of course other things mattered a great deal to me; however, I had stopped checking in regularly with my blueprint thus, prioritization went out the window. In pursuit of our goals we must remember to create an action plan in order of how we will execute and then do so consistently. It is also extremely crucial to check in regularly with your action plan just to make sure that you are on your game.

The whole point of prioritization is so that you do not lose track of what is most important to you. Once you decide what those things are, your action plan is built around those so that you can accommodate them accordingly.

Again, from the outside looking in, it may seem like I was on my game as far as prioritizing; however, if you knew exactly what I considered to be the most important things to me – you’d have thought differently.

During my hiatus, I noticed so many levels of chaos and disarray in the lives of others. Some of which are people that unless you look closely, you might automatically think that they have it all together. I can tell you for sure that this is not always so.

Although prioritization was more of a refresher for me – it was definitely needed because I had lost sight of how important it is to not only prioritize but check in on your priorities. It is important to make sure that you are putting first things first and then executing around them accordingly.

3.    Execution

This goes hand in hand with the other 2 eye-openers; it was more of a natural progression of my discoveries during my hiatus. The most significant take-away to note is that I learned that you can be very good at execution while still not executing the right things in the right order which means you won’t get the results you truly desire.

Wow! That was BIG for me.

Certainly, once I get going I am pretty efficient at executing especially when I truly love what I am doing; however, without organization and prioritization, you’ll soon find that you’re executing the wrong tasks in the wrong order and at the wrong time. This can really throw a monkey wrench in your plans – the price can be steep depending on your circumstance.

From observing others, I saw the consequences of both sides. There were some individuals that were like machines in how they executed a well-thought out plan. In other cases I saw how badly things can go when you’re busy executing wrong tasks in the wrong order at the wrong times.

The biggest “a-ha” for me on execution was that it can actually become a vice; some people will actually deliberately seek out unimportant tasks to execute so that they can justify ignoring more important and more difficult tasks. It’s something I knew within me but to see it manifest within the lives of others really drove it home.

My goal is to make sure that I strive to be habitual is Organization and Prioritization which will in turn ensure that I am Executing the right tasks in the right order at the right times. I truly encourage you to do the same.

This Hiatus is now over – the journey back to regular postings begin; however, I will be sure to check in on the blueprint more often.

I truly hope that this article helps bring some kind of balance to your life – remember – you are not alone. There is always an answer; you only need the will and courage to seek it.

Here’s a list of some other wonderful things I was able to do while on Hiatus…

· Took my daughters to and from school/day care more often

· Spend more time with my daughters in general – park, ice cream at Rita’s, etc.

· Focus on creating an even better partnership with my wife

· Learned more about my wife’s incredible and growing Scentsy business

· Attend and support my wife at her first ever Scentsy Convention – that was awesome!

I am sure there were more but these are just a few… I’ll keep doing those more going forward because these are things that are truly important to me.

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The Mirror Is All That Matters

Outside is looking in; the world’s eyes are open wide and flaring

The universe sits silent while I feel a plethora of lenses staring

Glaring at me, in me and through me

Fear creates thoughts that their judgments might move me

But whether you accept me or not is inconsequential

Because I know that accepting myself is all that’s essential

So regardless of opinions, innuendos and chatter

You know as well as I that the mirror is all that matters

Do your thoughts bid me life or do they bid me death

Are you grateful for my existence or do you smite me with every breath

If the world ended tomorrow, what would history say

Would it show me regretful that I didn’t live life my way

But whether you appreciate me or not is extraneous

Because I know that if I appreciate me, my value is instantaneous

So be I villain or hero, man or mouse, clown or mad hatter

You know as well as I that the mirror is all that matters

While I do what I do, the world gazes on in awe

Looking for cracks and holes just to magnify my flaws

Every action evaluated and every word dissected

Until hopelessness and cynicism soon is what’s perfected

But whether you approve of me or not is superfluous at best

So long as I approve of what I do and my values sit on my crest

I serve with love until I expire, principles as my backers

You know as well as I that the mirror is all that matters

 
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How to Develop and Cultivate High Performance Teams

Have you ever watched a High Performance Team at work? Perhaps you have a favorite sports team that you consider high performing. Think about the New York Yankees or the 1991 Chicago Bulls – how awesome is it to watch these teams execute their game plan?

The truth is that truly successful individuals understand the importance of being a part of high performance teams. They understand that even though the ability to achieve effective results independently is important, the pinnacle of excellence lies in interdependence. True success comes from collaborating and working effectively with others.

High Performance Teams are like well-oiled machines where each part knows and plays its role while supporting the other parts in fulfilling their roles. This is not about simply being busy completing your assigned tasks; it is about the whole team performing well and understanding that each member of the team is accountable to all the others.

High Performance Teams are like a well choreographed dance routine; they work in harmonious fervor and execute with confidence and conviction. In a word High Performance Teams synergize.

So, how is done? How do you make sure you are on a high performance team? How does your current team measure up?

First, it is important to understand that most people are not nor have they ever been on a high performance team. The reason it is important to point this out is because it is vital that you raise your awareness to the reality – what actually happens.

Let me put it this way…

How many of you believe that the people in your organization have more talent, more passion, more creativity, and more tenacity that their current jobs require or even allow?

I can ask that question to almost any audience and in every case, the overwhelming majority will raise their hands in agreement. Most people really do feel this way about the organizations that they work for or the teams that they are a part of. With this information alone, it is safe to say that most people are not part of high performance teams.

You see, high performance teams utilize their team members in a way that the vast majority does not – they are tapped into the whole person. Where others may simply utilize a person’s mind and body, high performance teams tap into all 4 quadrants of a person – body, mind, heart and spirit.

They utilize what Dr. Stephen Covey calls – The Whole Person approach.

In order to develop and cultivate high performance teams, truly successful individuals work to ensure that the following 4 elements are engrained in each member of the team.

1.   Needs and/or Services

This represents how you satisfy the body of a team. It answers one of two questions with succinct clarity.

What physical needs of others does the team meet? What valuable services does the team provide that meet the needs of others?

High Performance Teams understand the importance of creating and distributing value to others, therefore they must serve a need. Since we live in a physical world, there are real physical needs that need to be met. There are many services that must be provided in order to meet a great many needs in the world.

High Performance Teams exercise discipline in meeting the needs or providing the services they have committed to. Each member of the team understands the goal, knows his/her role and holds each team member accountable to fulfilling his/hers. They execute the objective with focus and diligence.

The most important factor in fulfilling the needs or providing the services committed to is the global buy-in of the team. Every person on the team must buy into the goal otherwise; you cannot be a part of the team. If you have some that buy-in and others who do not, it will create chaos, dissention and half-assed results.

2. Vision and Mission

Vision and mission represent the mind of a team. What is the “big picture” goal of the team? It is vital that every team member understands and embodies the vision of the team. Once they understand the vision, the mission is born from it.

The most important thing to do where vision and mission are concerned is to make sure that each team member is involved in their creation. For huge organizations/teams where a vision already exists, it is important to make sure that each new team member is on board with the vision. This should be a direct question with the expectation of an honest answer. Of course whether they answer honestly or not will be easily tested down the road as their true mind will show up in their attitude, work ethic and the results they achieve.

As far as mission, it is imperative that every team member has a hand in it because the mission must also represent them. On very large teams, it is a good idea to conduct surveys and solicit feedback in creating the mission. The fact is that people are much more inclined to support and commit to what they help create.

Think about it…

How do you feel when you know that you are truly a part of something – that your input is highly valued?

The point is that every member of a high performance team understands and embodies the team vision and is completely committed to the team mission. This is largely because the vision reflects their own core values and the mission represents them.

Most of the time people will slowly sabotage the team mission when they don’t believe that it represents them or that they are truly a part of it. Whether it’s by malicious compliance or lackadaisical work ethic or plain insubordination, eventually, the mission will fall short.

High Performance Team members understand and embody the team vision and they support and commit to the team mission. The only thing left to do is to execute with focus.

3. Passion

What is the heart of the team? What drives them – what is it that fuels its passion?

Just as it is important to know and follow your personal passion, it is equally important for a team to do the same. Developing and cultivating high performance teams requires that each team member share the team’s true passion.

This means that whatever needs and services the team meets and whatever, the vision and mission, every team member must be passionate about it. It requires that your personal passion be aligned with the team passion. It goes directly to purpose – the reason for being.

Why bother to be a part of team if you don’t have a passion – a true drive for its vision and mission? In a nutshell, you’ve got to care.

If there is no fire within the heart of a team, performance will be lackluster. High Performance Teams have drive – fire – they take it to the max everyday because they are infused with passion for what they do. Engrained in the DNA of high performance teams is the reason for being – it is the life blood of the team.

4. Spirit

The spirit of a team represents its conscience. It speaks to the meaning of what the team does.

In other words; is the work that the does meaningful to you? Does it bring you fulfillment? Does it add value to you and others? Is there integrity in what the team does?

If there are any negative answers around any of these questions, the team spirit will be corroded and the vision muddled. The spirit of a team in my experience is the most important of the 4 elements. In fact, when needs and services, vision and mission and passion are led by spirit, the results you achieve are significantly greater and more impactful than you could otherwise achieve.

High Performance Teams are transparent and trustworthy. They do what they say they are going to do and they remain accountable for their actions. The team members are loyal to one another because they share a common bond. They do not cheat themselves or others and they genuinely feel good about what they do. When they look in the mirror every day, they see promise and another authentic opportunity to create and distribute value to others.

If you’ve ever been a part of a high performance team, you know that you can instantly feel the spirit of the team the moment you are around them. It is apparent and alive in a way that electrifies the air.

High Performance Teams know that the development and cultivation of the spirit starts at home. The way they treat each other creates a ripple effect in how they treat others and inspire others to treat others.

Dr. Stephen Covey puts it this way when it comes to the importance of spirit…

When spirit – conscience – governs body, mind and heart, you get a Gandhi; when ego governs body, mind and heart, you get a Hitler.

The bottom line is that no matter how great the need, clear the vision and fervent the passion – if your conscience says that it isn’t the right thing to do – follow your conscience. In my experience, when spirit leads, the results you achieve are far greater than any you could have imagined.

It is only when the spirit leads that true greatness can be achieved.

When these 4 elements come together in harmony, the nexus of focus and execution is formed. This is how high performance teams consistently achieve the results they desire.

So, what kind of team or you on?

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The Natural Law of Gratitude

One of my mentors has always taught me that the more grateful we are for what we have, the more we receive to be grateful for. This is the natural law of gratitude at work. In my experience I have found that this is absolutely the case.

Of course as with all principles, consequences work both ways – so that the more we take for granted what we have, the more we lose. Again, this is the natural law of gratitude at work.

In my own life, I have been expressing tremendous gratitude because I am witnessing my dream manifest before my eyes every day. And, the more I give thanks, the more I receive to be thankful for. It has gotten to the point where I expect nothing less than to receive what I ask the universe to return to me. I ask, make choices that inspire me to my goal and then I work at it so naturally I expect my desires to come to fruition – and they have.

It is truly an incredible feeling – I am in awe almost on a daily basis when I see what can happen just from being truly grateful for what I have.

I am sharing this experience with you because I believe and I have seen that we aren’t always as grateful as we should be for what we have. In fact, more people take more for granted than they even realize – usually until it’s too late. It is only when severe loss has occurred that most of us even realize what we’ve been doing to ourselves – to our dreams – if we ever realize at all.

In a sense, when we do not show gratitude for what we have, we are in effect sabotaging our future. The principle – the natural law cannot be refuted – it exists and operates in our lives whether we like it or not, believe it or not or are aware of it or not. It’s not a matter of opinion or luck. It simply is.

Let me put it this way…

The law of gratitude is no different than the law of gravity in its completeness and unbiased function. If I step off the roof of a 50 story building, there is no question that I will suffer the consequences of that choice because of gravity. I cannot suddenly change my mind between the 6^th and 5^th floors and say I no longer want this consequence. Once I step off that roof, it is no longer up to me – the law of gravity applies and will continue to apply until my fall is broken by the ground or an angel catches me.

Why is showing gratitude so important?

To the degree that you show gratitude, the universe will continue to return the same to you in kind by granting you your true desires. The thing is that if you don’t truly believe in its power, you won’t truly show gratitude – you might fake it and then wonder why you aren’t receiving more from the universe.

You cannot fake gratitude and expect to receive true desires; in fact, if you fake gratitude, the universe will return to you fake desires or that which you do not desire. Principles are unbiased; your true frequency determines what you receive. A genuine gratitude frequency going out into the universe brings back more genuine desires that you can show more genuine gratitude for.

The reason it is so important to show gratitude is because you lose the things you take for granted.

Think about it in terms of your relationships. What happens if you continuously take your loved ones for granted? More often than not, they either eventually leave you or the relationship operates in dysfunction from lack of trust, honesty and resentment.

How about when you take your job for granted? Ever notice how you seem to go nowhere – you do not grow and you aren’t chosen for special projects. In extreme cases you might even lose your job. Certainly, there are other reasons why you might lose a job that are beyond your control; however, I can guarantee you that those who truly appreciated that job find another one much more quickly than those who did not. Furthermore, those who truly appreciated it for the real purpose it served usually find another job they like even more, much more quickly.

Think about it for a minute… really ponder it from your own experiences and see if you don’t draw the same conclusions.

When was the last time you showed absolutely no gratitude for what you have and received much more of your true desires to be grateful for? That’s right – never!

How to live the law of gratitude

Like all things you endeavor to become habits, you have to practice. I suggest that if you are not used to doing this with keen awareness, start small. Begin by giving thanks for every small desire that manifests in your life. Practice to do it daily and continue to give thanks over and over again for the people and things you have in your life.

Here’s the not so easy part – you must also give thanks for people who aren’t as thankful for you as well as the circumstances that may cause you grief. Why? It is because you can learn a lot from even those who do not have your best interest at heart. You can learn how not to be. It is truly a refreshing feeling when you compare the effects of being positive against being negative.

A person who might mean you ill will can truly reconvict you in your belief of doing the opposite. It is important to be thankful for these people – the lessons you learn are invaluable to your own growth.

The same holds true for circumstances that may be painful or unpleasant; look for the silver lining. Make the effort to see what the circumstance is trying to teach you and give thanks for what you’ve learned from it.

The law of gratitude requires that you give thanks for all that you have. This is why it is important to seek out the best in others and circumstances in your life. It is vital that you find a way to see more than meets the eye – if you are looking for the shiny object in others and situations, chances are you will find it when others could not.

Here’s a quick start guideline to help you practice. These are 7 things to show gratitude for on a daily basis.

1.    Your life

2.    The lives of family, friends and colleagues

3.    Your true gifts and talents

4.    The gifts and talents of others

5.    Opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others

6.    A better tomorrow

7.    Authentic leaders

Almost anything that you can think of in your life that you show gratitude for could fall under one of these 7 elements. If you can start by practicing to show gratitude for these 7 things and do so consistently for at least 30 days, there is a good chance that it will become a habit. Essentially, not only will your show of gratitude be genuine but also automatic – an unconscious competent response because of your keen awareness of its value and power.

The goal where gratitude is concerned is to be genuine – be real. Don’t bother showing gratitude for things you don’t truly appreciate; it will only backfire and you will not achieve the results you desire.

Also, don’t bother showing gratitude just to meet your ends of receiving more of your true desires to be grateful for. If you do this, again, it will only backfire because that is not true gratitude. Simply put, when you show gratitude, you have to mean it and show it without expectations.

Showing gratitude is about what you have and what you have received – it is not a means to an end; rather it is how we show true appreciation and bring true meaning to the ends we receive.

With that, thank you for reading – I truly appreciate you.

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How to Discover Your True Purpose

“It is not enough to simply be alive if your life is not worth living.”

There are many that would say that every life is worth living no matter what. I might agree only because you can learn something from everyone, even those who live for nothing. On the other hand, I do consider it a huge waste to simply be alive and yet have no purpose – no drive to contribute to the world in which you live.

In fact, I will go so far as to say that a life without purpose is no life at all – at least not one that is worth living. I think it is better to die than to live without purpose.

I hope it doesn’t shock you that I feel so strongly about this topic or that I would draw such a hard line. The truth is that I firmly believe that we – you have a purpose in life that serves your fellow man in ways you have not even imagined. We all have that potential within us and I personally want to awaken and tap into as much of it as possible.

You are unique in so many ways and have so much to offer the world; the sad thing is that most of us never seek to tap into it let alone even believe that it is there within us. There isn’t a shred of doubt in my mind that you have a purpose that only you can fulfill – you have only to believe it, seek it and pursue it fervently.

What is the point of your existence if not to serve those around you – to contribute to the world in which you live? What will have been the point of your life if you do not leave the world a better place than it was when you were born into it?

Think of your eulogy – I know – not pleasant to think about the end of your life but bear with me. At your funeral, what would you want others to say about you – about your life? Did you live a life of service? Were you always good to those you meet? Did you give back and show gratitude for your knowledge and success?

What would your family and friends say about you upon your departure from this plain? These can be hard questions to ponder; however, I suggest that it is vital that you do when you think about your true purpose.

Have you ever felt like you were stuck? Like you weren’t really sure where you’re going? Perhaps you even felt like you don’t even know why you do what you do or why you are where you are? Does what you do truly matter? Are you making a difference?

Without a true purpose, it is common for you to go through bouts of depression, chaos and ignorance. Your level of awareness ebbs and flows with change because you are not certain of where you fit into the grand scheme of the universe. You may even begin to justify and rationalize these feelings of emptiness and despair in an effort to stabilize your disposition.

These are things that a purposeless individual goes through one way or another; there may be other symptoms of this empty feeling but I think you get the gist.

Think for a moment about your own life…

Are you living a purpose-driven life? Have you found your true purpose and are you pursuing it with passion?

If you’ve already found your true purpose and are living it – CONGRATULATIONS! If you haven’t and you want to, the goal of this article is to provide a guideline that will help you do that.

Finding your purpose isn’t a hard thing – it’s finding the discipline to go through the steps and then courageously pursuing it zealously.

In order to discover your true purpose, you must tap into the whole person – the 4 quadrants of life. You must aim to satisfy the body, mind, heart and spirit. True purpose lies within the nexus of these 4. Most people end up only looking at body and mind – that’s just half of a person; they never consider the heart and spirit in the equation.

More often than not, stimulation of the heart and spirit are separated from the body and mind. True purpose requires that they all connect and meet at the nucleus. Certainly you might develop each quadrant in different places and through different resources; however, where your true purpose is concerned, the choreography among them must be perfectly harmonious.

If this sounds impossible to achieve, let me assure you that truly successful individuals have achieved this; it happens every day. Yes, the truth is it doesn’t happen often enough in my opinion – way too many of us don’t even bother to seek our true purpose. Even more sadly, many of us don’t even believe we each have a purpose.

Whether or not you believe you have a purpose does not negate the fact that you do. We are all born with gifts and talents that only we can utilize to create and distribute value to others – we have only to choose it.

Think of it this way…

If you believe in principles then you understand what is called the ripple effect. The ripple effect basically says that you have no idea just how far one act can go in affecting the lives of others and bringing about change. It is the continuation of one act begetting another and another with infinite possibilities and no end. It is in essence the never-ending mode of paying it forward.

With that in mind, as principles go, it works both ways. When you pursue your true purpose which allows you to create and distribute value in the lives of others – the ripple effect of what those you affect do for others is beyond the scope of your very mind. You only know that you started the ripple and that it is infinite. Sounds good BUT remember that the same holds true if you do not pursue your true purpose; the ripple effect still applies except that the value you would have created and distributed to others will be missing. Not only will that be missing but any profound and positive change that your value would have triggered in others will also go unfulfilled.

This is not to say that you’re responsible for ruining lives – we all make our own choices. It is just to say that when you choose not to pursue your purpose, it affects more than just you – it affects others.

Discovering your true purpose

To discover your true purpose, consider the body, mind heart and spirit and what truly fulfills them. Find out what makes each segment tick and then endeavor to utilize your true gifts and talents to add value.

Here’s a guideline of how you might go about doing this.

Body

Body refers not just to your body but to the body of the world around you. Since we live in a physical world, there are real physical needs that need to be met. Think of those deeply; what are the needs of your body – of the people around you – of the world?

It doesn’t mean that you have to solve the world’s greatest problems – it just means that you need to give this real thought.

Looking at body, consider the needs of others that you might be able to fulfill. This will help you to start to think in terms of what you are capable of doing to make a difference in the lives of others. As you think of needs that need to be met, also think of your physical capabilities and how they might help you fulfill these needs.

Mind

For the mind, consider carefully what you are good at. What are your natural gifts and talents? When it comes to discovering your true purpose, it is like discovering the real you. Search yourself and be honest about what you find.

Do not be discouraged if you find that you are good at things that seemingly have no value. Your gifts and talents are never valueless; there is always a way to utilize them to create and distribute value. If you can believe that then you can be honest with yourself about your findings.

Make a list of the things you’re really good at. If you wish, ask your family, friends or someone you respect what they think you’re good at. In fact, I often recommend a top 10 list written by a mentor or other respected person to go along with your resume. This is because your name rings a lot more bells a lot louder when someone else other than you sings your praises.

You don’t have to base your final answers on what others say; however, it can be really helpful to know how others see you. Perhaps they see something in you that you do not yet see in yourself.

The goal is to find out what you’re really good at doing and make a list.

Heart

The heart is one of the quadrants that most organizations and even people don’t tap into when it comes to what they do. It is often only utilized as an emotional source for showing love and gratitude to and for your loved ones.

The heart is so much more than that. What about passion?

In order to figure out your true purpose, you have to figure out what you are truly passionate about? What is it that makes you jump out of bed in the morning with uncontrollable enthusiasm? What gets your adrenaline pumping through your veins and set you on fire?

Passion and purpose are almost synonymous in that they are completely fulfilling. Whatever you do must fulfill you in order for you to do it to the best of your abilities. Look within and think about what you are really passionate about. If your physical needs like money were no object, what would you do with your time? How would you spend your days on this plain making a difference?

If you can figure out what gets your juices going every time – you will be able to figure out what you’re truly passionate about.

Spirit

The spirit is another quadrant that often goes neglected when it comes to what people do. Often times, the allure and greed for money, stature and power override the spirit. This type of thinking always leads to underhanded behavior, disempowerment of others and despair. When the spirit is neglected, there can be no win/win – someone always loses – in fact I think that in the absence of the spirit, everyone loses.

Spirit speaks to conscience. Where your true purpose is concerned, the spirit demands that you ask if what you are doing is righteous and does it make a positive difference in your life and the lives of others.

How does what you do affect you and the people you touch? If the answer to this question is anything but a positive one, I suggest that what you are doing is not your true purpose.

Without the spirit, the other 3 quadrants falter; it is the spirit that governs the other 3. Perhaps I should say should govern the other 3 because many times, people allow ego to govern.

Here’s what I mean as Dr. Stephen R. Covey puts it…

“When spirit governs body, mind and heart, you get a Gandhi; when ego governs body, mind and heart, you get a Hitler.”

The bottom line is that when you consider the spirit, think of how you can utilize your physical abilities to meet a physical need, apply your capabilities while doing something you are truly passionate about and that makes a significant, profound and positive difference in yours and the lives of others.

When you have achieved this you have discovered your true purpose. As I said, it rests at the nexus of the four quadrants with the spirit as the guiding light.

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The World’s Greatest Resource

If I were to ask you “What is the world’s greatest resource” what would your answer be?

I am sure such a question may seem quite broad not to mention subjective to most individuals. I mean certainly I would get many different answers if I were to take a poll and you would all be right from a subjective point of view.

Subjectivity aside though, I want to invite you to open your mind and consider another possibility. Consider a more matter of fact objective and principle-based answer to the question. In fact, I challenge you to consider that there is only one correct answer to this question. There is only one answer that truly makes perfect sense when considered in the grand scheme of the world in which we live.

The world’s greatest resource is YOU – people. Never in the history of the world has there been a more creative, innovative and powerful resource than people. I know, it sounds a bit hammy – but think about it a moment…

Where else can you find a more complete resource than in people?

One of the main reasons this might give you pause is that the most heinous crime ever to be committed against mankind is to disavow, deny, under-utilize and disregard the incredible capacity of people.  There have been many wonders in the world; however, the most overlooked and under-valued resource has been the greatest wonder of all time – that is people.

Is it still too hard to swallow? Ok, let’s take a closer look at why YOU – people are irrefutably the world’s greatest resource.

Why are people the world’s greatest resource?

People are the world’s greatest resource because you and me – we are the only ones on this planet that possess the capacity to tap into, improve upon and grow the 4 quadrants of life. These 4 quadrants are body, mind, heart and spirit. Sure, all living beings possess the 4 quadrants; however, while they exists and live on instinct alone – we possess the ultimate power of choice which gives us ultimate control over how we develop the 4 quadrants.

Furthermore, it is only through people that the other great wonders of the world can come into existence. Nothing moves the world whether forward or backward without people first making choices that cause these things to happen. It is only through the choice of people that greatness can be achieved at any level.

Are these just lofty words I am spewing for the sake of talking or is there irrefutable proof? I’ll let you decide.

Think on this a moment…

Has anything ever happened in your life that you did not first see in your own mind or that someone else did not direct? It may seem oversimplified; however, I think it makes the point perfectly. If your answer to this question is anything but a resounding NO – think again – and if it’s still anything but a resounding and emphatic NO – get your head checked.

Ok, let’s go a little further for the skeptics…

Think of some of the world’s most incredible accomplishments, inventions, innovations or champions and ask yourself, if people are not the greatest resource the world has ever seen, what is?

How about some historical facts we can all agree on to drive home the point?

There was a time that people thought that the earth was the center of the universe until Aristarchus of Samos dared to suggest differently. Instead he believed that the earth revolved around the sun. Later in the 16^th century, Nicolas Copernicus presented mathematical theories that basically proved this fact and was later confirmed in the following century by Galileo.

To suggest these theories at the time was considered heresy; in fact, Galileo’s body was placed at the foot of the church just so as people exited they could step on it to show their disdain for such heretics. Today of course we know that the earth does in fact revolve around the sun and it is not the center of the universe.

How about the theory that the earth is flat? This was once the consensus among scholars until, about 2500 years ago, the Greek and Babylonian mariners suggested that the earth is in fact spherical because of the way ships used to disappear by sinking below the horizon as they sailed. Later, the Greek mathematician Eratosthenes used observations of the sun’s angle at noon to calculate the diameter of the earth – a computation that ONLY would have made sense if he knew the earth to be round.

Let’s bring it even closer to home or more importantly to the 20^th century. How about the creation of the world’s most incredible communication and connector – the Internet? It was first launched at CERN laboratories in Switzerland by a group of world class scientists from all over the world who simply needed a tool to stay in touch and keep each other updated on their work in a more efficient manner.

Now, they could have simply used e-mail or pick up the phone but NO – they opted for something much greater – much more efficient and effective – the Internet. This is now the foremost authority on finding any types of information you need and for connecting every single person in the world to each other if they so choose.

What else but the world’s greatest resource could dream up, create and implement these ideas? All of these mentioned here and any other great wonders that you can think of right now are all precipitated by individuals who made a choice to make a difference. People like you and me are the drivers of these great discoveries and change. They all involved all 4 quadrants of life, body, mind, heart and spirit.

I know that there are still some that might say, these examples are too easy and well not the norm. These only include a handful of some of the smartest individuals in the world’s history so clearly, not all people are a part of the world’s greatest resource.

Great… how about we tackle this scenario?

I challenge you to consider that the power to be the world’s greatest resource exists in each and every one of us. We have only to unleash it by exercising our ultimate power of choice.

Why do I say this? I say this because only the world’s greatest resource possesses the power to evolve and shift paradigms.  People have been able to do this successfully throughout history – often at great cost but nonetheless, we are able to do it repeatedly.

Here’s what I mean…

There was a time when man was primarily a hunter and gatherer of food and resources to sustain life. He would go out each and every day to hunt and gather food – this was known as the Hunter’s Age. This went on for a very long time and then came the farmer.

The farmer sought to grow his food instead of hunting every day; however, as the hunter watched the farmer he saw no value in his work ethic. The farmer merely tended to his crop by watering and fertilizing the ground where he had planted the seeds of sustenance. While the hunter continued to go out every day and hunt and gather his food.

The farmer was patient and by the end of the harvest season, his crop had produced 50 times what the hunter was able to produce by going out every day. The farmer had essentially created a way to provide 50 times of what a hunter could gather with 50 times less effort not to mention a lot less danger. Eventually, this ushered in a new paradigm known as the Agricultural Age.

This period also went on for a time but it didn’t stop there. At some point, the ingenious mind of people began to turn yet again to progression and innovation. Enter the advent of machines and assembly lines. With the capacity to build machines that could do the work of 50 men, people were now able to produce 50 times what the farmer could in the same period of time. In fact, this new paradigm, known as the Industrial Age, was so successful that it was brought to the farms and these farms, now dubbed Industrial Farms, were able to produce 50 times more than traditional farms.

What do you think… does it stop there?

Of course not; there is still some semblance of the Industrial Age in the 21^st century; however, I guarantee you that it will not last another generation. As one of my favorite leaders and author puts it, we are now embarking on the Knowledge Worker Age. This is the age where people are more in tuned with their complete self – the body, mind, heart and spirit. It is the age of creating and distributing value by tapping into your true gifts and talents as opposed to mindlessly following a regime in which you have no belief or derive satisfaction.

We can see many knowledge workers around us already – this new paradigm has already taken root and will only continue to spread and grow like a wild fire on gasoline steroids.

What else but the world’s greatest resource can usher in such incredible paradigm shifts? Only YOU – only people…  

The Unfortunate Truth

The unfortunate truth is that most of us are not aware of the incredible untapped human potential that exists within us. Like anything else, it only gets stronger if we are feeding and nurturing it.

While people are the world’s greatest resource, it often falls short in its potential because the majority of us are completely oblivious to its infinite and ever evolving power. Too many of us do not accept, appreciate or even approve of its possibilities.

The world’s greatest resource, like any other resource, takes consistent effort to improve and grow. Left alone it will of course remain dormant and unused and therefore will not improve in any facet.

Too many of us are like sheep mindlessly grazing in the pasture built to hold and control our every move and thus creating the illusion that we have no choice. Too often we choose to remain ignorant in an effort to maintain our meager existence for fear of losing it all.

If you still harbor any skepticism at all about what the world’s greatest resource is, you may want to perform an honest examination how you truly perceive yourself. Is it in the best of lights or do you place unnecessary and self-defeating limitations on yourself?

Forget all the clichés and canned speeches of motivation and inspiration. Think of this as a personal challenge. Are you truly everything you can possibly be? Do you believe that you have an inexhaustible pool of possibilities available for you to tap into? Do you have or are you on the path to achieving all that you truly desire? Are you where you truly want to be?

I dare you to challenge yourself with these questions. Whether your answer is yes, no or a combination – I guarantee you’ll immediately see things differently if you are honest with yourself. You will quickly awaken parts of you that you weren’t even aware existed. Go ahead – try it.

The world’s greatest resource cannot be the sheep of us but instead must be the shepherd for only the shepherds can usher in new ages and shift paradigms.

How to unleash the world’s greatest resource in you

For starters, I suggest that you read my article, How to Develop and Cultivate Wisdom as it provides an in depth walkthrough of the following actions.

To unleash the world’s greatest resource in you – you must ask yourself the following 4 questions, answer them honestly and then choose to take action to either improve or include them in your life and personal growth.

The following 4 questions pertain to stimulating, improving, growing and strengthening the body, mind, heart and spirit. These 4 quadrants of life embody and direct the world’s greatest resource. Each requires a two-fold process for maximum effect.

1.   Are you feeding the body?

Feeding the body is first about the things you are doing to fulfill your physical needs. Since we live in a physical world, there are real needs that need to be met in order to function properly. If you are not feeding your physical needs – the body – chances are you experience frustration and perhaps depression. It is vital that you are aware of and endeavor to meet all your physical needs thus increasing your capacity to function at an optimal level.

The second part of this equation is about what you are doing to service the physical needs of others. It’s like being on a plane with a child. If the plane is going down, the best course of action is to first put on your oxygen mask and then taking care of the child’s. Once you have met your physical needs, to tap into the world’s greatest resource, you must take action to utilize your true gifts and talents to service the physical needs of others.

2. Are you feeding the mind?

Feeding the mind is first about the things you are doing to stimulate and challenge your brain. It’s about tapping into your creativity and tenacity in making a significant difference in the world and people around you. To unleash the world’s greatest resource, you must be willing to embrace change, acknowledge problems and create solutions. You must believe in the infinite pool of possibilities and place no limitations on what your mind can accomplish. This involves an insatiable appetite and an unquenchable thirst for learning, growing and discovering the new.

The second part to this is of course about the things you are doing to challenge the minds of others. It’s about the steps you take to make sure that you are also challenging others to greatness – to utilize their own creativity and tenacity. As you believe in your own potential and capacity for change and significance, so must you believe in the potential of others. This is feeding the mind.

3. Are you feeding the heart?

Feeding the heart is about the level of passion you feel for what you do. It’s about the deep and abiding fulfillment it brings you to utilize your true gifts and talents to create and distribute value in your life and in the lives of others. How passionate are you about what you do? Do you truly believe that what you do is valuable and are you fulfilled by it? Answering yes to these questions is crucial in feeding the heart.

Secondly, what are you doing to arouse the same level of passion you feel for what you do in others for what they do? To unleash the world’s greatest resource in you – you must endeavor to release it in others. You must encourage others to find their passion and pursue it fervently in order to unleash true greatness.

4. Are you feeding the spirit?

Feeding the spirit is the most crucial of the 4 because it governs the other three. This is about your moral values. Many people distort the authority between formal and moral. Formal authority is man-made and governed by the laws of man which are not always moral. Moral authority is based on universal principles – natural laws. Moral authority is what must direct the spirit in order to properly feed it.

Do you feel good about what you do? Are you doing the right things to achieve the ends you seek? Does your work have transparency and integrity in it? Is what you do to the benefit of you as well as others? Are people better off after what you do has touched them? The answer to these questions must all be yes otherwise, while you may be feeding the spirit, I guarantee you that it is not with the right things.

Like the other 3 questions, you must also endeavor to help others find their moral compass. It is important that you encourage others to find the courage to do the right things even when it means not doing things right. The world’s greatest resource demands more of us than to simply follow orders – it demands that we follow and adhere to principles – natural laws. This is how you feed the spirit.

I know I may have left the title of this article way behind by now but my hope is that you truly get the point. Too often we get wrapped up in things and circumstances and forget people. What’s worse, sometimes we treat people like things instead of like human beings. If you want to see a world where all things are possible, begin by believing that you can create it. After that, make sure that you treat people as a whole by respecting, accepting and embracing the 4 quadrants of them – body, mind, heart and spirit.

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The 5 W’s of Manifestation

Often times, we do not understand how we ended up where we are and with the things and situations we have, especially when we aren’t where we want to be or have what we truly desire. Although it is a universal truth that we have what we have and are where we are because of the choices we’ve made – still – it can easily escape us as to how it all happened.

Have you ever asked yourself, how did I get here? Or, what have I done to deserve this?

You should be nodding right now because I’m willing to bet that we all have at one point or another. Manifestation is a key element of personal growth and development as well as in your overall success. It goes to the heart of how you arrive where you are and with what you have. Truly successful individuals are masters at applying manifestation techniques to their daily life; it is simply a part of their DNA and they practice it relentlessly. It may even get to the point where it takes no effort at all, especially in the areas of life where they are most excel.

The goal of this article is to raise your awareness to the incredible powers of manifestation and how to effectively apply it to your life. It will help you understand the 5 key elements of manifestation – the ones that all successful individuals understand and use regularly to improve on their personal growth and success.

First and foremost, let’s understand what manifestation is.

Manifestation is the act of materializing and/or expressing that which you envision, plan for, prepare for and expect to happen. The power of manifestation in your life is inextricably linked to the way you see yourself and the world around you. It goes to the core of the universal principle – the natural law of “believing is seeing.” To the degree that you believe in something, plan for it, prepare for it and expect it to happen, it will manifest in your life in alignment with your level of faith. You are the director of all things that manifest in your life. Even for the occurrences you face that you do not cause to happen to you – you still have the power to choose how you respond to them thus manifesting what you desire.

In order to harness the power of manifestation in your life, it is imperative that you truly understand the 5 W’s of manifestation. These elements help to put you in the right mindset when attempting to materialize your true desires.

Who

Who is the first part of the manifestation you must understand completely in order to apply it successfully to your personal growth. Sometimes, who can refer to just one and in other cases multiple people. No matter what the situation though, who must always include you. Let’s break this down a bit further for clarity.

Who, first refers to the person totally responsible for materializing your desires – that’s always YOU. When it comes to manifestation, it is vital to understand that the first who is always you. You are 100% responsible for any desire you want to see appear in your life – you are the director of your fate. No matter what you might believe, the moment you put your destiny – your path – in someone else’s hands, it is no longer yours.

Once you understand and accept that you are the master of your fate and that only your choices can truly create your future, it will become easier for you to manifest your true and inner-most desires. All manifestations in your life are directly related to who you are and the choices that you make. It makes no difference whether you believe it or not – it is a natural law – a universal principle and thus it merely exists and acts in our lives. Those who are keenly aware of this principle are the ones who benefit most from its application.

Additionally, who can also refer to anyone you might deem necessary to help you manifest your desires. Simply put, once you accept your responsibility in the equation of manifestation, you will also quickly realize that it is your responsibility to identify those who can help you achieve your goals. This second set of “who” may be one or many people and can also change along the way; it depends on where you are in your journey.

The key take-away here is that you understand that when you have your goal in mind, it is crucial to your success that you are able to identify others whom are important and/or necessary in achieving your goal otherwise, it will be a difficult road.

What

The second part of the manifestation equation is the “what.” What are you trying to achieve – what is your goal? What refers to the result you envision and the more crystallized this is in your mind, the more likely you will succeed at manifesting it. It is important that you understand that in order to materialize what you want, you must first see it clearly in your mind and believe it is going to happen. If you truly believe it is going to happen then your plans and preparationwill follow suit in a much more focused manner.

When it comes to what you truly desire, it cannot be a sketchy picture otherwise you will get sketchy results. It must be as clear as day – you have to see it through your mind’s eye before the first step is even taken towards your goal. This is not to say that your vision cannot change along the way; however, you have to be crystal clear about your ultimate goal.

Think of it this way…

Have you ever pictured yourself on the perfect vacation? You might see the beach; you lying on the beach – you may even smell the ocean; feel the ocean breeze on your face and the water running through your toes. That’s the type of visualization I am talking about. Successful manifestation demands that you see the end you seek as clear as day in your mind before you lift a finger to act.

Why

This third element is overlooked more often than you think and it is the main reason people end up questioning their lot in life. They didn’t fully understand if at all, why they wanted something. Your “why” is the glue to the whole operation of manifestation because if you don’t know why you want something, you cannot fully appreciate your reward.

The worst part of that is that, if you can’t appreciate what you receive, you will eventually take it for granted. The law of gratitude has 2 faces; it states that when we are grateful for what we have we get more to be grateful for. On the flip side, it says what we take for granted, we lose. Again, this is a natural law – universal principle that merely exists and operates in our lives whether we are aware of it or not.

The key point here is that it is extremely important that you understand completely why you want what you want. Your “why” fuels your desire to act and your perseverance in the face of challenges. It gives you the reason to push through any obstacle. Your threshold will only be as strong as your “why.” If you have a deeply rooted reason for your desire – it is more likely that you will be successful in achieving your goal. In order to successfully manifest your desires in your life, you must hone in on why you want what you want.

It is important to be certain that you want something for the right reason; right reason being that you are somehow creating and delivering value to or for others. Any desire fueled by greed, the quest for power or domination over any other will surely end in disaster sooner or later. What I am presenting here are 2 ideals in the extreme but I am sure you get the picture. Just make sure that your reasons for wanting what you want benefit others while at the same time doing no harm to others.

The natural law of harvesting says that you reap more than what you sow – not just as much as you sow – but more.

The simple truth is that if you don’t understand why you want something, you will have difficulty understanding what you receive and that’s just a waste. When you do not understand why you want something the results you achieve will be just as elusive and confusing.

Where

The fourth part of the manifestation equation is the “where.” Whether in degree, accolades or physical destination, it will be virtually impossible to achieve your goal if you have no clue where you are going. Before you begin any journey, it is important – necessary that you have the correct roadmap.

This is why before the first nail is driven or the first stake pushed into the ground for a new house, the foreman and his crew must consult the blueprint. The blueprint tells you where things go. It is not an accident that a house has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms – it is a result of a deliberate plan – a roadmap.

To know where you are going is imperative; it will help you to make more effective and impactful choices because they will be more focused to the task. Can imagine trying to score touchdowns on a basketball court? It just wouldn’t work – it’s not the right field. A pilot does not get to Denver by plotting a course to Chicago. You simply must know where you are going otherwise you will end up asking questions like, “How did I get here?” and even worse, “Where am I?”

The other vitally important factor of knowing where you are going is that it will help to minimize straying. It is already an accepted theory that we drift off for about 20 seconds every 60 seconds; for 20 seconds of every minute the mind takes a mini-vacation. That’s when we’re paying attention and know where we are going.

Can you imagine what will happen if you are clueless about your destination? You will end up manifesting all sorts of things you will question later. Besides, if you do not know where you are going, it will be much easier for others to lead you astray – this is how people end up holding the bag someone else put in their hands and in some cases they pay a steep price.

Knowing where you are going will most definitely keep you focused and on target.

When

The fifth W of manifestation is When. This is probably the most ignored element of goal-setting. Most people do not date their goals; however, truly successful people always do. It’s an automatic piece in setting and planning goals. Your “when” is essential to your manifestation success; it tells you the time and date that your desires will show up in your life.

Have you ever heard someone say, “Sure I am going to clean out the garage”? How often does it really happen? Right – never.

The truth is that one of the main reasons goals aren’t met is because they have no date – no end time. There is no clear and set time that they are expected to happen. Quite frankly, a goal without a date is merely fantasy – it’s not real. Putting a date on your goals makes them real – it gives you a sense of urgency to act. If you don’t have a clue when you want to get where you want to go, you may never get there and even if you do – you will most likely be too late.

It’s like the same New Year’s resolutions that get made year after year and almost none actually manifest for most people. The people who see their New Year’s resolutions come to fruition are in fact goal setters. They understand and utilize the 5 W’s of manifestation otherwise; they would end up like most people who make these meaningless commitments every year – nowhere. It may sound harsh but it’s true. What is the point of setting a goal if you do not have a date in mind of when you want to achieve it?

That’s no different than saying over and over again “I’d love to go to Paris.” So what? If no one, especially you, have no clue when you want to go to Paris, you’ll never get there. And, if you do happen to end up in Paris through the choices of others and by shear miraculous luck, I guarantee you that you will be completely unprepared for the experience and your expectations will be dashed. What’s more, you’ll probably blame everyone and everything else for the rotten time you had.

The key take-away here is that successful manifestation requires that you know exactly when you want something to appear in your life; otherwise the universe will not know when to deliver.

If you can practice implementing the 5 W’s into your life, it is virtually guaranteed that you will achieve much better results and more consistently achieve the results you desire.

Happy manifesting!

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The Ultimate Power II – The 90/10 Principle

I wrote an article titled The Ultimate Power which received a lot of feedback both for and against the idea. The most common feedback though has been “If choice is the ultimate power, how do I control the choices others make?” Of course the truth is that you cannot control what someone else does. That being said I still believe 100% that the ultimate power is choice. 

With the pressing point on the table though, I thought it might be a good idea to write The Ultimate Power II as a follow up to further clarify the power of choice. If you haven’t read The Ultimate Power, read it here first and then come back to this article. I think this follow up article will be more impactful if you read the first one – just a suggestion of course. 

Yes, while choice precipitates all things, we cannot control the choices of others. In fact if we could, it would totally negate the core principle of choice which is that we all have free will to decide how we respond, behave and act. 

We do however have the power to influence others through the choices we make. You may see this show up in the form of example, inspiration, hope or experience. These are just a few ways in which the choices that you make can cause someone else to make choices that resemble your own core values. 

Let’s look at the ultimate power of choice not only from your point of view but also from the point of view of those around you. The fact is that although you are making choices that influence and move things to happen in your life, so are others. 

For example, you may leave your home dressed in your finest suit with no intention of getting it dirty and yet someone else could make the choice to drive at lightening speed through a puddle and splash your suit with muddy water. Did you have a choice in that action? Of course not; that action was precipitated by the choice of another and therefore it is impossible for that particular action of driving through the puddle to have been caused by your choice. 

Here’s the flip side to that; you did make a choice to put on the suit and also made a choice as to which route to walk which led you to the point in your journey where someone else’s choice got your suit dirty. 

I am not trying to confuse you with this oversimplification – I am merely attempting to separate your choices from those of another so that you understand that they are independent in the making; however, they can intertwine through design. 

Let’s look at how we can further understand the ultimate power of choice and how we can apply to our personal growth to make us more effective individuals.

 

The 90/10 Principle

The 90/10 principle encompasses both scenarios in which choice affects our lives. It deals with the choices we make and those that others make that we have to deal with one way or the other. 

The basic meaning is that we have no control over 10% of the things that happen to us because those occurrences are precipitated by the choice of others. Furthermore, it also means that the other 90% are made up of the choices we make in response to those things that happen to us over which we have no control.

 

In a nutshell… 

We cannot control 10% of what happens to us; the other 90% is how we choose to respond. This is where proactive leadership is important; to the degree that you can improve your ability to choose your own responses to the things that happen to you, the more effective you will be. 

You see, this is why Choice is the ultimate power; you can choose your actions. Between stimulus and response, lies choice – you can make a conscious decision on how you will respond to any given stimulus. Certainly some situations make that more difficult than others, nonetheless, the fact remains that we all have the ability to choose.

 

Let’s look at it this way… 

Imagine that a family of 3, father, mother and daughter are having breakfast in the morning at the dining table. The usual chatter and conversation ensues; suddenly there’s a splash, a spill and a crack. The daughter has unintentionally knocked over her father’s coffee mug and spilled coffee onto his suit as the mug tumbles and shatters on the floor below.

Scenario 1 response

Father yells at his daughter, Cindy, “Why can’t you be more careful? You are such a clumsy little girl – goodness!” Mom fires back at Dad “Did you have to be so harsh? It was only an accident Joe – my goodness!” She storms off after Cindy who has already ran upstairs to her room crying. 

Meanwhile dad has to go upstairs frustrated that he has to now change his suit for work. As he stumbles around to find a new outfit, he looks out the window only to see Cindy’s school bus pulling up. He quickly pulls on his shoes and jacket, darts downstairs and shouts for Cindy to run down and catch her bus. As they rush through the front door, the bus pulls off and Cindy misses it by a few seconds. 

Even more frustrated and with a very upset daughter in tow, Dad realizes that he now has to drive Cindy to school. She does not speak a word to him for the entire 15-minute the drive and moreover, he arrives at work late only to step into an important board meeting already 30 minutes lapsed. 

Dad’s boss is now displeased with him as well. Later on in the day, Dad calls Janet, his wife only to learn that she is still peeved at him for his earlier behavior and that he’d be sleeping on the couch for the night – at least.

This has not been a good day for this family. By no means is it detrimental but still – not a good day.

Could this have gone better? What could have happened to make this whole situation much more pleasant? 

Let’s see…

Scenario 2 response

Father leans in close to his daughter Cindy and says, “Whoops, a bit of a spill there honey – it’s quite alright, it was only an accident” Cindy, though a bit embarrassed but pleased at her Dad’s response, smiles widely and says “I’m sorry Daddy, I’ll be more careful next time.” Dad replies as he makes his way quickly upstairs to change “No worries darling, I will be back in a jiffy to see you off.” Mom helps Cindy to clean up the mess.

Dad, as calm as ever, quickly dons a new outfit and makes his way downstairs as the school bus pulls up. He walks briskly with Cindy to the front gate as she turns back to hug and kiss him before scurrying onto the bus. 

Dad returns to the house to grab his briefcase and as he reaches the front door, it opens to his smiling wife handing it to him. With a whisper of “sweet nothings” in each others ear and a short but passionate kiss, dad heads to his car to drive to work.

Dad arrives at work a full 20 minutes before his important board meeting and all goes as planned – perhaps even better. A quick call to Janet later that day reveals that his favorite supper will be awaiting him upon his return home.

Dad reaches home to find a loving wife preparing dinner and a very happy princess greeting him with open arms.

This has been a great day for this family.

 

Now, I know that these 2 scenarios seem ideal; however, think of it as your worst day and your perfect day. 

Can you remember the last time you had a really bad day? Conversely, can you remember the last time you had a perfect day? 

Now that you have those 2 in mind, examine the choices you made in each scenario and what you could have done to make the worst day better. 

You see, Dad had no control over the coffee spilling and the coffee mug breaking on the floor; those occurrences were precipitated by choices his daughter made. Dad did however, have total control over his reaction – his response. His choices in scenario 1 led to a really bad day for his whole family while his choices in scenario 2 led to a really good day for his whole family. 

In this scenario, let me also point out that each person involved had the opportunity to choose his/her response. Cindy, although a young girl, could have chosen not to cry and get upset and still apologize to her Dad. 

Mom did not have to fire back at Dad; she could have simply opted to console Cindy and then helped her clean up the mess. And of course Dad’s boss could have given him the benefit of the doubt that there was a good reason for his tardiness and simply let it go. Each person had the ultimate power of choice both to make decisions as well as to respond to things that happened to them. 

The bottom line is that choice precipitates all things no matter what you might believe. This is a universal principle that does not change. 

That is the 90/10 principle at work and it operates in our lives every day whether we believe it or not. In fact, now that your awareness to this has been raised, you will recognize it more quickly in your own life and it will help you be more effective in your responses.

 

Excuses and Rational-lies

There are many who might continue to harp on not having control over what others do. They use this fact as an excuse not to act or for that matter to justify their negative reactions to the things that happen to them. 

They tell themselves rational lies in an effort to justify their actions; it’s not me it’s them.

Let’s just clear this up right now… 

Certainly no one leaves the house to get into car accidents, create conflict and or cause pain. Well, at least most people don’t. 

The fact is though that even when those types of unfortunate events occur, it’s still just a part of that 10% over which we have no control because they are precipitated by someone else’s choices. You still have the choice as to how you respond if/when they do happen to you. 

Obviously, if something happens and you unfortunately die, you will not have the chance to choose further actions; however, even in this case, you made a choice before you actually expired. Even if you simply froze and did nothing – it remains a choice that you made. I know that this may be hard to swallow for some but think about it – consider the awesome realization it will be for you when you realize that you too have the ultimate power. You only need make the choice to wield it. 

Look, if nothing else, stop confessing other people’s sins and worry about answering for your own. The only thing worse than making bad choices is making no choices at all except for the one to remain ignorant. 

Sadly, most of us will never realize this incredible gift; however, for the few smart individuals who do – the world is your oasis. 

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Attitude, Aptitude & Altitude – Powerful Principles in Personal Leadership

You cannot lead others in any area of life until you first succeed in leading yourself in the same. This is what it means to lead by example. 

Mohandas Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Truer words have never been spoken about personal leadership – leading self. Essentially, the powerful principle at work here says that to the degree that you can lead yourself successfully – you can lead others to that level. You cannot however help others succeed at anything beyond a level that you have not attained.  That would be like you coaching an apple tree on what type of apples to bear. It doesn’t make sense – does it? 

Success in your personal growth will be defined by your success in personal leadership. It will be crystallized by how well you lead yourself in the different areas of your life. How you lead yourself is the way you will lead others. 

Ever notice how those individuals who seem to hate their lives are consistently saying and doing things to make others miserable? Often times we are not even aware of our behavior until we either reap the negative consequences or someone who loves us enough tells us about it. 

Success in your personal leadership will depend on many factors; however, following are 3 of the major pillars of personal leadership. The goal of this article is to not only raise your awareness to these factors but also to help you understand how they apply in your life and your personal growth.

 

1.    Attitude

The manner in which you approach any situation is crucial to the results that you ultimately achieve. If you can maintain a positive attitude, you will always be able to find the upside in almost any situation. 

While I am completely aware that it is sometimes hard to maintain a positive attitude, I am totally convinced that doing so makes a significant difference in the results you achieve. 

Your attitude determines your mindset; it is the foundation on which your responses sit. The attitude you choose to have – and yes it is your choice – will determine how effective you are. 

To maintain a positive attitude, it is important that you believe in 3 things:

1.      Believe in choice – you must believe in your ability to choose your attitude and your responses in any given situation. No matter how hard it may seem, how you respond to circumstances and the people around you is your choice. You are the master of your fate and the choices you make determine it. 

2.      Believe in possibilities – make no assumptions and embrace change; this is how you believe in possibilities. When you believe in possibilities, it opens your heart and mind to new worlds; some of which you have only imagined and even the ones you have not. This mindset significantly impacts your attitude in a positive way because when you are open instead of closed, your experiences are richer and you feel a whole lot better. 

3.      Believe in the future – your attitude will be acutely affected by your hope for the future. If you have no hope then your attitude will be one of pessimism and cynicism. If you truly have hope for the future – a better tomorrow – your attitude will reflect it and so will your choices. 

The way that you approach your life and your outlook for the future are the fuel for a positive attitude. Without a positive attitude, it will be hard for you to imagine a better tomorrow. This is why your mindset is so important to your success – to improving your personal leadership.

 

2.  Aptitude

Success in your personal leadership also requires that you continuously seek to improve your abilities. If you can only lead others to the level of success that you’ve experienced then consistently improving your abilities will provide you with more experiences and knowledge to share. 

Your aptitude determines how well you do something; it is the level of your abilities that will sustain the fire in your attitude. If you do not seek to improve your skills or use your gifts then you will continue to struggle. The more you struggle the harder it will become to maintain a positive attitude. 

A very popular misconception is that having a positive attitude is all you need to succeed. While it is obvious that a positive attitude is vital to success, it cannot stand alone. If you have no clue what you are doing and no plans to learn, you will achieve nothing. Your attitude is the foundation; however, your abilities determine the success in execution.

There is no use sending in the world’s greatest electrician to do a plumber’s job – he simply doesn’t have the propensity for fixing pipes; wires for sure but not pipes. Additionally, no one wants to follow anyone who is clueless about what he/she is doing or where he/she is going. 

High aptitude requires 3 things:

1.      Keen awareness – the more aware you are, the better the choices you make and the more effective you will be. It is easy to become aware of your strengths; however, becoming aware of your shortcomings is more difficult because we don’t want to see ourselves in that light. It is important though to look at yourself honestly and give an accurate assessment of your abilities. The more you know what you don’t know, the more you will learn.

2.      Practice – it does truly make perfect. The more you do something the better you become at it and the more success you achieve. High aptitude comes from doing; acting on the things you learn. 

3.      Mentorship – this goes both ways in improving aptitude. While it is vital to your personal growth and leadership that you find and follow mentors, it is equally vital that you mentor others. Although this is also a form of leading others, it can do wonders for your own personal leadership. The more you share your knowledge and experience with others, the more room you create to fill up on more knowledge and experience. One of the best ways to keep learning is to teach. 

If you can master these 3 elements, your aptitude – your skill level will improve significantly.

 

3.  Altitude

Your altitude is about the heights to which you can grow. We all have the potential to reach tremendous heights; however, many of us won’t even reach half that potential. Your altitude is fueled by your attitude and aptitude. 

With the right mindset and the consistent growth of your skill set, there are no limits to what you can achieve. There are no limits except for those that we place on ourselves. Often times the biggest roadblocks we face are in our minds. 

Let’s look at altitude from an academic standpoint. In order to move to the next level, you must successfully pass different tests or exams that the curriculum requires. Essentially, your studies prepare you so that you can showcase your level of ability on these tests or exams. If you cannot pass the tests or exams for a particular level, you do not earn your degree so that you can move to the next level. 

Individuals who consistently move to the next level all have to focus on these 3 things:

1.      Desire – you must understand your true desires in order to reach high altitudes. The more you understand what it is you truly seek, the better your choices will be, bringing you ever closer to your goals. With a crystallized goal in mind, your choices and actions will reflect that intensity. 

2.      Intent – knowing exactly what you intend is like an arrow heading for the bull’s eye; its purpose is clear. Desire precedes intent and intent precedes follow through. Again, it is important to truly understand exactly what your intentions are; this is your guiding light for the choices you make. You decide what to do and say based on your true intent. Academia-wise, your true intent will dictate how much you need to study and so forth.

3.      Follow through – without action, nothing gets done. This is why it is important to follow through on your plans. Personal leadership requires that you follow through on your intent in order to achieve your goal. When your desire and intent are clear, it will help you to avoid the pitfalls of the debilitating disease of procrastination. 

The most beautiful thing about altitude is that it is defined by the limitations you place on yourself. Altitude is a principle which means it is limitless; you can never exhaust it. The minute you understand that, you realize a profound shift in your mindset. Once you begin to believe in infinite possibilities and that the universe has the power to deliver anything you desire – you’re truly FREE. 

My experience has been that improving these 3 powerful principles in personal leadership result in milestone successes every single time. Whenever I have applied them, the results I have achieved have been profound, impacting and fulfilling. 

If you can improve your ability to lead yourself, others will want to follow your example because you are authentic. 

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The Natural Law of Awareness

What you are aware of you can act on; what you are unaware of acts on you. This is such a profound realization as taught to me by one of my mentors. The simple truth of it is refreshing once you grasp it and the light bulb goes on in your head. 

Awareness is a principle that exists and operates in our lives whether we are aware that it does or not. Understanding how it works is crucial to success in your personal growth and development. My experience is that the more keen your awareness in a situation or about a particular circumstance, the more effective your actions and the results you achieve. 

Let’s first define awareness… 

Awareness speaks to your level of consciousness; how awake you are in a particular situation. It speaks volumes about your knowledge, responsiveness and alertness. It is about your sensitivity to you, circumstances and those around you. It goes to your receptiveness of the outside world and how you manage it on the inside. 

To the degree that you are aware of the inner and outer world, the effectiveness of your choices, thoughts and actions will reflect the same. How you behave will largely depend on how aware you are. 

When you raise your level of awareness, you automatically raise your potential for success. This is how the principle – the natural law of awareness works. It exists and operates whether you know it or not or believe it or not. It simply is. 

In my experience, awareness comes in 4 forms. You may have seen them categorized differently; however, these are basically the 4 different forms of awareness.

 

1.    Unawareness

The fact that you have no clue what is going on does not negate the fact that there is a level of awareness in play. In a state of ignorance, everything and everyone is acting on you without your knowledge. You may blame and complain about your circumstance and others at this level; however, the truth is that your unawareness is the real culprit in your frustration. 

When you lack knowledge of something; you also lack the ability to make other choices simply because you don’t even know they exist. In this case, ignorance is not necessarily bliss – in fact, it could be down right miserable. 

Here’s the lesson… 

Whether you have knowledge or not doesn’t mean that the knowledge doesn’t exist and that its existence isn’t operating in your life. It may be a little weird or hard to grasp at first BUT think about it – really think about it.

 

2.  Reactive Awareness

In this case you are always aware of and act on circumstances and people around you. The focus of your choices, thoughts and actions are largely based on how others view and treat you. 

Also, at this level, you do not accept total responsibility for your own choices, thoughts and actions. Since you are mostly reacting to circumstances and other people, you blame them for your choices, thoughts and actions. This is reactive behavior which causes a severe lack of self-leadership. 

Reactive awareness is not ideal simply because it leaves you out of the equation. When all your choices, thoughts and actions are based on circumstances and/or other people, you lack your own voice. You are not making decisions based on the things you value most but rather on the things you believe others value most.

No matter what you believe at this moment, it is certain that this way of thinking will lead to frustration and unhappiness. This is because, you cannot have good and firm grounding or a good sense of direction when you are simply blowing the way others and circumstances blow. If you change your stance with the direction of the wind, you will ultimately spiral into chaos, confusion and disarray. Your level of personal growth and success will undoubtedly be stunted.

 

3.  Proactive Awareness

Proactive awareness is complete awareness. In this mindset, although you are aware of others and circumstances, you are most aware of yourself. You are completely in tune with your choices, thoughts and actions and you understand that these are the things you truly control. 

You do not blame and complain about others and circumstances when things go wrong because you realize that your choices, thoughts and actions precipitated that outcome. Proactive awareness demands that you be responsible for you; the way you think and act in any given situation.

This means that you are aware of your strengths and your shortcomings; you are aware of others in the same manner; however, you do not base your choices on them. Your choices are based on your core values regardless of what others think. The person you show others is the person you want to be and not the person they want you to be. 

This is the practice of complete awareness – proactive awareness. You take a deliberate stance to be a person who evaluates his/her own choices, thoughts and actions so that you can learn to improve yourself.

 

4.  Instinctive Awareness

Frankly, this list could stop at 3; however, I have found it quite valuable to include this 4^th form of awareness. My experience is that when you practice something over and over again, you only become better and better at it. At some point, you no longer seem to have to put much effort into succeeding at it because it has become a habit – a part of your DNA. 

This form of awareness, I have dubbed instinctive awareness. At this level, you are so keenly aware that things seem to happen and function automatically. You make choices, think thoughts and act with your core values guiding you on auto-pilot. Certainly since you are always learning, there are things that will always be at the other 3 levels. Eventually though, if you are diligent in your practice and seek to improve your awareness at all times, you will end up here – at this level. 

For instance, reading, writing and attending seminars and workshops by incredible individuals from whom I can continue to learn is not something I really have to think about anymore. I just do it; it seems automatic. I instinctively spend time, money and resources improving my own personal power, growth and self-awareness. I love doing that and I realize of course that it helps me tremendously to help others even better. 

This is just me – what’s your vice? 

Here’s the caveat… 

As with all principles, your results are based on how well you operate in line with them. This means that especially at the level of instinctive awareness, if you are practicing negative behaviors, you will undoubtedly reap negative results. 

These are basically the 4 forms of awareness; as I said, you may categorize them differently; however, these are they. 

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The Natural Law of Choice & Result

It is an absolute that there are natural laws – universal principles that exist and act in our lives whether we believe it or not. These are no different than the law of gravity which basically says that what goes up must come down unless you remove gravity from the environment. 

As it pertains to our personal growth, it is imperative that we are aware of, understand and apply these principles in our lives. The pinnacle of success is achieved only when we adhere to natural laws. 

This article focuses on the natural law of Choice & Result. The absolute of this universal principle is that every choice has a specific end result. To the degree that you understand this natural law and how it applies to your personal growth, the results you achieve will reflect the same. 

The goal then is to help you properly define Choice and Result and then understand its most effective application in your life and for your personal growth.

 

The Meaning of Choice

While choice by definition means preferences, selection and options, I wanted to broaden its scope by delving even deeper. Choice at its very core; the spirit of it is truly about alternatives, abundance, possibilities and pro-activity. 

To take it a step further, choice is a responsibility; it centers on our ability to choose (select) our responses in any given situation. It is about being proactive in all that we do. This is why Choice is the Ultimate Power. 

The mere fact that we all have choices is indicative of the infinite possibilities that we can never exhaust. The examples of this principle are numerous. 

Who knew that the Internet would connect billions of people around the world in common bonds? What about Google? Who knew such a simple interface would have the power to help you find what you want when you wanted it – all in a virtual space? The list goes on and on and on… you can never exhaust it. 

This is the true meaning of choice.

 

The Meaning of Result

A result is the effect of a choice; it is the outcome caused by a decision that has been made. In the interest of broadening the scope of the word even further; a result is the consequence of a possibility. 

Yes, I am oversimplifying; however, I want you to get a simple point. The point is that results are not accidents; they are directly linked to choices. Even when we do not mean for something to happen and it happens any way, this result is due to a choice that was made. 

We may call it an accident and that’s fine for context; however, it is important to understand that a different choice would have produced a different result. In this vein, it is plain to see that we have the ultimate power to affect the results we achieve by making the right choices to do so. 

Simply put, there are no accidents. Every situation is precipitated by choices whether you believe it or not or whether you are aware of it or not. The fact that you are ignorant does not mean that the principle is not at play.

 

The Principle of Choice

I have written about choice extensively; still, I constantly get bombarded with comments and opposing arguments regarding my stance on choice as the ultimate power. The fact is that choice is a principle; it exists whether you believe it or not. It is always working whether you are aware of it or not. 

Choice precipitates thoughts and actions; it is where the party begins. 

OK… I’m going to attempt to anticipate all the questions, comments and resistance to this belief. Of course whether you believe me or not is absolutely irrelevant since principles merely exist and operate without bias and in a timeless vortex. 

There are 4 different mindsets to making choices; this is where I believe most of the confusion lies. Most individuals don’t even know the difference.

 

1.      Unconscious Incompetence

These are the choices we make in total and complete ignorance. We have no clue that other possibilities even exist so we just take whatever options are handed to us. This is the state of mind when you don’t know what you don’t know; nonetheless, you are still making choices. A choice to be ignorant though foolish is still a choice.

 

2.      Conscious Incompetence

In this state of mind at least you do have an understanding that you don’t know everything and more importantly that there are other possibilities. You still aren’t in a frame of mind to make the best choices; however, this is a good place to make new discoveries. You have made the choice not to be an ignorant moron. 

 

3.      Conscious Competence

In this mindset, you have elevated your game to making proactive choices to learn and grow. You completely understand that there are other possibilities. Furthermore, you believe that your success comes from the choices that you make and so you begin to practice and develop good habits. You are now aware that you don’t know squat and more importantly you are completely open to learn and discover new ways of doing things. You now understand that practice makes perfect.

 

4.      Unconscious Competence

This is the pinnacle of the ultimate power of choice; in this mindset, proactivity is now a habit; you are this way even when you sleep. Your choices are grounded in correct principles and you have high self value. Of course you are still learning new things; however, the habits that you have mastered are now a part of your DNA. 

Your choices surrounding these values you hold dear are now on automatic pilot. This is where the strength of your character becomes predictable which provides you a solid reputation for saying what you mean and doing what you say. You now consistently achieve the results you desire. 

These are the 4 mindsets of making choices; whether you believe it or not, you are in one of these mindsets each time you make a choice. I know that I have been in all 4 of them; I also know that I am in mindset 3 and 4 more often than not these days. Can you say the same? 

I am not saying this to brag; I am saying it because I believe that it is important that you understand choice and how it applies to your life and your personal growth. We are always making choices so make sure you are in the right mindsets when you make yours.

 

The Principle of Result

Since choice is a principle, then it stands to reason that the effect of choices is also a principle – results. Achieving the results you desire depend almost entirely upon the choices you make. 

Stephen R. Covey puts it this way… 

We have no control over 10% of the things that happen to us because those result from the choices other people make. The other 90% of what happens to us is based on how we respond to the 10%. 

Simply put, while 10% of the things that happen to us are out of our control, the other 90% certainly is based on how we handle that 10%. This is known as the 90/10 principle. 

There are 3 different types of results we can achieve.

1.      Monotonous

Monotonous results are repetitious and same; they usually include making the same choices over and over again while expecting different results. This is of course the definition of insanity; still, many individuals fall into this trap constantly. These types of results are most likely the product of the level 1 mindset of choice – unconscious incompetence. It can also occur in the level 2 mindset if you have not yet reached the threshold of pain for your particular situation. 

The fact is that people don’t change until the need for change becomes self-evident so monotony is something you are likely to experience in your results until you choose to change.

 

2.      Unexpected

These are the “accidents” of the world; the results you do not plan for. Although unexpected, they are still precipitated by choice. While these results can occur at any mindset level, it is much easier to grasp and adapt when you completely understand choice. An unexpected result occurs when you make a choice in the hopes of achieving one thing and end up achieving something different.

The fact that you ended up with unwanted or unexpected results does not negate the fact that had you not made the choices you did, you would not have achieved the results you did. Unexpected results are not necessarily bad and are infinitely good if you can always find the lesson or wisdom within them.

 

3.      Expected

These are the results that you do plan for; your choices are deliberate in these instances. When you achieve the results you desire, it is due to a series of choices that you made purposely to do so. 

For the most part expected results happen when choices are made in the level 3 and 4 mindset. In these mindsets, you begin your journey at the finish line and then take the appropriate steps to achieve the vision and the mission. With a strong focus on the goal and diligence in execution, deriving expected results becomes – well – more expected. 

These are the 3 types of results that you can achieve. Whether you believe it or not, you achieve these results based on the choices that you make. Your mindset level when making the choices will greatly influence the type of results you achieve. 

The Natural Law of Choice & Result is constantly at work – nonstop – and unbiased. These are universal principles that do not break or change – they merely exist and operate whether we believe that they do or not. 

Take a hard look at your own life and situation; examine your own personal growth challenges and I am sure that if you are honest with yourself, you will realize the power in understanding the principles of choice and result.

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A Life without Enemies

At first glance, you might think the title of this article is over-reaching. You might even think it a bit naive. I admit I used to think the same. My experience though has taught me that living a life without enemies is actually the easy part; the hard part is grasping and accepting the thought process that governs it.

 

Do you have those in your life you consider enemies? Does anyone you know consider you to be an enemy? What would it mean to you if at the very least you knew of a way to minimize these instances in your life?

 

If you find that this would be valuable insight for you or someone you know, I invite you to settle in and read on.

 

Firstly, it is important to understand where our enemies come from. Get ready... it's kind of a whopper. Ready? Ok... 
  

We create our own enemies... yes that's right. There are no enemies that we have that we do not create. It is our perception of people and circumstances that create our greatest enemies. Once you can digest this simple truth, it will be easier for you to understand the attitude required to change it.

 

You can change your world whenever you wish by simply changing yourself. In fact, it is impossible for you to change your world or the world at large without first changing yourself.

 

To live an enemy-free life, there are 2 factors that must be addressed in sequence.

1.    The Enemy Within

We are our worst enemy; we do more damage to ourselves than any person or circumstance ever can. Since we have the power to control our thoughts, attitude and actions, we have the power to either inflict great harm or incredible good.

 

This being said, the first enemy we have to deal with on the road to a life without enemies is the enemy within. Improving upon the following 3 elements will have a profound and positive impact on your success in this area.

 

·         See the best in you

It is important that you do not allow your mind to work against you. Look for the best things in you at all times. Even when you fail to reach a goal, instead of focusing on the failure itself, focus on what you did well. After that, turn your attentions to the possible lessons you can learn. Never categorize a failure as you... it's just an event not you.

 

Instead, learn and grow from the things that did not work and realize that the fact that you tried your best is always enough. Also, the whole point of learning is to try again so that you can apply your new knowledge.

 

If you can practice to always see the best in yourself, it will clear your mind of unnecessary negative thoughts. Whenever your little voice starts getting down on you - just pause and tell it to STOP and then change your thoughts to be more positive. Learn to have positive conversations with yourself. Do it in your mind, in front of the mirror or out loud; whatever works best for you - just do it.

 

·         See the best in others

Just as you practice to see the best in you, do the same for others. When you consistently seek the best in others, you remain open to infinite possibilities. Never assume anything or allow your preconceptions to rule your choices. Take the proactive stance to purposely look for the best in others.

 

This does not mean that you are naive and that you turn a blind eye to people's shortcomings. It simply means that you spend most of your energy on the things that make them better people. Surely, you may know someone whom you think has no redeeming qualities; it is especially in these instances that this practice is important. In these cases you must look beyond a person's past, accept his/her present and project genuine hope for that person's future confident in the fact that this person still has the choice to change.

 

If you can truly think of it in this manner, you will always be able to see the best in others even when they do not see it in themselves.

 

Someone once asked Mother Teresa if she would attend an anti-war rally to which she humbly replied "No, but I would attend a peace rally." Now I am certainly no Mother Teresa; however, I am sure you can see the incredible power in changing your perception of a situation. It may be a mere play on words but how profound and impactful for your attitude.

 

·         Confess your own sins

Too often we spend way too much time confessing other people's sins and not our own. Other people's sins are none of your business; it is an area of concern that you cannot change. This is why it is vital that you focus on your sins so that you can change yourself. In fact, if you have any hope at all of influencing someone else to change, again, you have to first change yourself. Only through consistent work on yourself can you influence others to change.

 

The enemy within is at constant work telling you to blame the other guy when things go wrong. It will always lead you to believe it is someone else's fault causing you to expend your energy bashing others. Whenever you find this is happening, focus on what you might have done to create the situation and aim to do better next time.

 

Be accountable for your own sins – they are yours and unless you own them you will be unable to work on them. If you cannot work on your own sins, the enemy within will consistently get the best of you.

 

2.  The Enemy Without

The enemy without becomes much easier to manage once you are successfully managing the enemy within. You might consider someone an enemy if they've deliberately tried to hurt you or cause you ill will. You might also consider someone an enemy if they have expressed dislike for you or if you find yourself in a constant battle or tug of war with this person.

 

The first thing to accept in these instances is that these individuals will appear to you in the way you see them. Your perception governs your thoughts and actions towards this person. Even if it is true that this person wishes you harm, changing your perception of this person can remove the enemy mentality from the picture.

 

Again, it's not about naivety, it's about how you view the person. It is about what you choose to focus on about this individual whether they can see what you see or not. How you choose to view someone does not negate your choice of how you relate to them; it simply opens up more possibilities for positive exchanges.

 

Improving upon the following 5 elements will undoubtedly have a profound and positive impact on your success in managing the enemy without.

 

·         Make no assumptions

Although it easy to do, it is important that you make no assumptions about someone. Be proactive and assess a person for yourself. Whether from a distance or close up, it is important that you evaluate a person from your point of view. Even when you have credible sources of information, these should only serve as references to help improve upon your own observations. Often times you will find that what works or is true in one instance is completely different in another.

 

If you make assumptions, you automatically close yourself off to any other possibilities. Remember that the other person may also be making assumptions about you so be different. Go in with an open mind and a genuine intent to learn and you will find other people far more accommodating and cordial.

 

·         Seek Understanding

It is definitely true that we often fear what we don't understand. Instead of embracing our differences, we put them down. It is important that you seek first to understand others before asking the same in return.

 

If you genuinely want to understand someone else, he/she will recognize and hold you in high regard for that. Just think of what it feels like to you whenever you feel that you've been understood. Now seek to convey the same to others.

 

If you can practice this you will discover that people are much more receptive to your position.

 

·         Embrace differences

The very things that make us unique are the things that should bring us together and not drive us apart. We may all have different beliefs and ways of life; however, deep down we are all the same. We all seek acceptance, appreciation and approval. When you can truly embrace the differences between you and others, you will immediately open dialogue, exchange of ideas rather than conflict and rivalry.

 

Our differences are to be cherished not feared. We can learn a whole lot more from each other by simply opening our minds to our greatness. We all have within us a universe of greatness waiting to be unleashed. The more we encourage it, the more fruitful and positive our relationships.

 

If you can truly cherish the differences in others, your pool of enemies will quickly shrink while your pool of allies quickly grows.

 

·         No protraction

Any protracted negativity will only escalate animosity and corrosive behaviors. Do not prolong negative exchanges; instead try to put things in a positive frame. Even when the truth hurts, it goes over much better if you can frame it positively.

I am not saying you should sugar-coat or offer fluff - I am simply saying use sensitivity when delivering tough messages.

 

Do not engage in “tit for tat” shenanigans; these equate to taking a reactive stance. Instead, take a proactive stance and address the root problem. Look for win/win solutions; if for some reason you are unable to reach a consensus then your best move is to walk away. This way, although you won't be playing together in the same sandbox, you will still both be happy that you both have your own sandboxes without fear the other will drop a bomb on it. 
  

·         Offer Friendship

Sometimes the easiest way to lose an enemy is to gain a friend. There is no reason you can't turn an enemy into a friend by simply offering friendship.

 

It won't necessarily always work and not every situation would warrant such a move; however, in the event that it does - just offer friendship. A good friend is better than a bad enemy any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

 

It may be as simple as asking, "Can we be friends?" The answer may shock you.

 

Now, do not misconstrue this as a mere holier than thou attempt to rid the world of conflict and usher in world peace; although, it’s not a bad idea.

 

This is simply a guide to building more bridges than walls among each other. The undeniable truth is that it takes way more energy to keep enemies than friends. When you have more enemies, you have to expend more time, energy and resources watching your ass – I mean six.   

Conversely, when you have more friends, you have a willing army watching your rear already so you don’t even have to focus on it. With more friends, you expend way less energy, time and resources on negative crap and instead focus on things that create and distribute more value.

 

If you still believe that enemies are necessary, consider this…

 

No matter whom you are or your station in life, true success cannot be achieved alone. Without others, true success and maximum potential cannot be realized. If your world is full of enemies, whom will help you and how will you ever achieve success?

 

Ponder but a moment and realize the infinite possibilities of having friends.

 

See you in the winner’s circle. 
 

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Choice, Change & Consistency – The 3 Cs of Personal Growth

There is a certain period in life that is widely accepted as the “finding yourself” period. This is the time when one is supposed to throw caution to the wind; do whatever feels right and somewhere along the way figure out what the hell you’re supposed to do with the rest of your life. 

Somehow, you are supposed to get hit with an epiphany of your calling. It’s as if the mindset is that if you just “be” and let things happen, everything will fall into place. Go with the flow – what will be will be – it is what it is – and all that jazz. 

I may come under serious fire for saying this but you know me… 

Finding yourself is a load of CRAP!   

There, I said it – and I’m not taking it back either. It’s too late anyway; cyberspace has a hold of it now so if I’m going to be toast then so be it. Got butter? 

That aside, my experience is that there are times in our lives when we aren’t sure of what our next step is and in order to make a decision – we experiment. Of course – who hasn’t? 

I realize that the term “finding yourself” is not really meant to be taken literally; however, it has certainly lost its true meaning. In fact, it is kind of an oxymoron since I don’t believe that you were lost in the first place. Finding anything requires that it must first be lost. What makes more sense is that we can GROW. 

The way we grow and change is completely up to us. Your personal growth is your responsibility and it will not happen if you just simply be. You have to do something about it otherwise you will remain stagnant. No deliberate actions no desired results – period. 

The goal of this article is to help you become keenly aware of the 3 Cs of personal growth – Choice, Change and Consistency. Without these 3 your personal growth cannot flourish the way you desire; they are essential to your success.

 

Choice

I am not going to speculate about how the first man/woman was born; however, it is no speculation that all things begin with Choice. Whether yours or others, when things are put into motion they happen in the sequence they do based on the choices that have been made. 

We are all the sum of our choices. You are where you are and have what you have because of the choices you have made. I know that many people don’t sit on the same side as I on this because of the misconception that lack of awareness negates choice. This could not be further from the truth. The fact that you may not know that you have other options does not negate the fact that in all things you must still make a choice. Even the decision to remain ignorant is a choice; perhaps not a good one for the most part but it is nonetheless – a choice. 

If you accept that your personal growth is your responsibility, you’ve already made a choice. Taking steps to improve it are just another series of choices that you have to make to see that you achieve the results you desire. 

There has also been the argument of environment, circumstances and parentage being the determining factors for your future. Again – this is a load of – well I’m sure you get the idea. 

Certainly who your parents, your environment and your circumstances all influence how you think and what you do; however, in no way do they determine. You are certainly free to make a choice to change your stars. It is not about whom your parents are – it’s about whom you are – what you want. Choice is what determines your future. 

If you don’t believe it – consider this… 

I’ve heard of a study conducted at a prestigious university about 100 of the world’s greatest leaders. Of the 100, 75% were found to have come from either an extremely impoverished background or had been stricken with some severe physical or mental defect. How would you explain the success these individuals were able to achieve? They didn’t just achieve personal success; these world class leaders literally changed the world. 

That is because they understood that leadership is a choice; that everything you are and everything you do are a true reflection of the choices that you make. Need I say more… ok then I will? 

How about high school football coach Charlie Wedemeyer; whom despite stricken with Lou Gehrig’s disease and being a quadriplegic led his team to a 14-12 championship victory in 1985. Although Charlie was no longer able to speak, he mouthed his instructions to his wife who told it to the assistant coaches who told it to the players. He did all this while laying flat on his back unable to move any part of his body except his eyes and his lips. What a remarkable display of will power and choice that is. 

Like I said – everything begins with choice and your personal growth won’t improve until you choose to improve it.

 

Change

With choice comes change – it’s automatic. When you choose to improve your personal growth, it is inevitable that there will be changes. You cannot grow unless you Change. You cannot change unless you choose to. 

It is impossible to achieve any level of growth without change first occurring. The very act of growing is in effect changing. No growth can take place at the same level of awareness prior to the growth. With awareness comes new thought and with new thought comes new action which begets change. 

There is a reason for changing seasons – it involves a cycle of growth and we receive a new cycle each year through the 4 seasons. In order to achieve the results you desire in your personal growth, you must be willing to change what you are doing today. You will be unsuccessful if you simply continue doing the same things and expect different results – that’s insanity. 

The most important thing to remember about change is that it happens with or without you. Just because you refuse to change doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Change is a principle – a constant – it doesn’t matter what you or anyone else does, it will simply exist – always.

 

Consistency

The last of the 3 Cs of personal growth is Consistency. The fact is that the more you continue to do something, the better you become at it. Continued growth requires consistent action day after day. No one is perfect so of course you will have your bad days. The key to your success is making sure that you have more good days than bad. 

My experience is that once you find a compelling reason to remain consistent, it gets easier; you begin to enjoy the journey. Find the fuel you need to propel you every day and it will become easier for you to maintain discipline. 

It is through consistency that we develop habits; make sure that you are consistent with the right things. Just like change, consistency is a principle and it is at work even when you aren’t. It merely exists and you will get from it what you feed it. If you feed it bad habits, you will consistently get bad results. 

Think of it this way…

There is a story of an old Eskimo who had 2 dogs – a black one and a white one. Every Saturday, the dogs would fight until they wore each other out and the last one standing would win. Some days the white dog won and on other days the black dog won. The interesting thing was that no matter which dog won, the old Eskimo always seemed to bet on the winner. One day, a young man asked the old Eskimo, “How is it that you are always able to bet on the winning dog week after week no matter which one wins?” The old Eskimo replied “Well that’s easy son, I just bet on the one that I had been feeding all week.” 
  

That’s an analogy I heard listening to Zig Ziglar and it makes perfect sense here. Basically, whatever you feed wins in the end. So, if you are going to be consistent make sure you are building the habits that will help you achieve the results you desire. Too often we spend time consistently feeding the wrong energy and then wonder why we don’t get the things we really want. 

It’s very simple; if you consistently feed negativity you will habitually get negative results. If you consistently feed positivity, you will habitually get positive results.

 

What do the 3 Cs mean to you?

That depends completely on your goals and your understanding of how these constants apply to your personal growth. 

In general I can say that these 3 Cs are vital to your personal growth. If you intend to achieve any success in the things you do, be prepared to make the 3 Cs conscious habits. Choices you are going to make no matter what you think; even if you believe that ignorance negates choice, it doesn’t matter. That is your CHOICE. 

The bottom line is that if the 3 Cs are not happening at some level in your life, it’s safe to say you aren’t growing either. That means your personal growth has now become your personal stagnation.

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Inspiration, Hope & Power – Powerful Principles of Awareness

What is it that motivates you to act? Are you keenly aware of who you are and why you do what you do? 

Many of us unfortunately are sleepwalking through life; we go to and fro as just another program within the matrix of planet earth. Those of us – YOU – who are keenly aware of who we – YOU – are know what it feels like to truly live life. 

Sleepwalkers tend to believe that they have no choice in their fate; it has already been written and they’re just playing the part. What they either don’t realize or have forgotten is that although they are playing the part, they are also directing it. You are the directors of your lives and as such you can rewrite the script at any time. YOU have the ultimate power to choose. 

In order to wake up the sleepwalkers to the lives they ought to be living, there are 3 principles of which they must become aware – Inspiration, Hope & Power. 

Following are my best insights on how understanding and utilizing these principles can positively and profoundly impact your life and your personal growth. 

Firstly, I want you to understand that even though I believe that 99% of people will never reach their full potential, 100% of us have within us the capability to do it. I hope that percentage doesn’t shock you coming from what is supposed to be a website aimed at growing others. The simple truth is that based on the information available as of the writing of this article, the vast majority of people do not take responsibility for their own personal growth. As much as I wish we all did – we don’t. 

That being said, I do believe that 100% of smart people have the ability and tenacity to live these incredible principles and do great things for themselves and others. 

For the select few still reading at this point, here’s how YOU can harness and consistently utilize these powerful principles. 

  

Inspiration

What is inspiration? Inspiration is that which motivates us to act. These are people, events or things that compel us to do something – to be something. All successful individuals are inspired people; some have many elements of inspiration in their lives. 

Without inspiration, it will be difficult to sustain a fire for anything. In each of us there is a place where only what inspires us can touch. In order to achieve success in your personal growth, you must aim to connect with the person, event or thing that can reach that place inside you. 

You must find the right reasons to roll out of bed and launch into the world day after day. Those who do not quickly become burn-outs; a shell of the person they used to be. Following are a few guidelines to get you started on finding that place inside where the fire is lit and you are motivated to act.

 

Find a mentor

A mentor can be any relative, friend, colleague or your perfect stranger that you wish to emulate. These are the types of individuals that make you say “man, I’d love to do things like he/she does.” Mentors are people that lead the kind of life that you’ve always dreamed of. Not necessarily for the accolades but for the fulfillment it gives them day after day. 

Mentors are welcomed intruders that you invite into your life to speak experience and wisdom into it; to tell you the truth no matter what. Your mentor is the person that always sees you for who you are today and also recognize the potential for who you can become. 

I myself have several mentors and following their example have brought nothing but positive and profound changes into my life. These role models make a huge impact when you live by their examples – they inspire you infinitely through their experiences and their wisdom. 

When choosing a mentor, make sure that this person is qualified to be your mentor. Choose wisely otherwise the price will be steep and you will quickly be right back where you started. Mentors are individuals you want to exemplify in every way so if you can’t commit to doing that with your choice – that may perhaps be the wrong choice, especially if you only have one. 

Another way to look at it is, if you have more than one mentors, as I do, you can exemplify one in one way and another in another way. The point is that you want to make sure you are emulating the right behaviors of the right people.

 

Cherish history

History can be a great teacher as well as provide tremendous inspiration. History reminds us of the price paid to live in the present and challenges us to build a better future. 

Is there a time in history that you find particular fascinating – that touched your core – made you think deeply? Can you remember a time in the past that made you feel gratitude for the present and that gave you drive to do greater things for the future? 

When I say cherish history, all I am saying is that history not only shows you the past but also the potential of the future. It is not meant for us to live it over and over but to take from it the rich experiences it offers. It behooves us to learn from it – adapt the extraordinary examples and crush injustice. 

History can provide unbelievable inspiration to build the best world of tomorrow.

 

Embrace new concepts

New concepts provide a platform for change; in change there is always some form of inspiration. It may not be for everyone but nonetheless it is there for those looking and for those it finds. 

A new concept might inspire you in one of two ways; either you will embrace it in agreement or embrace it in opposition. Either way, it can be a compelling reason to create action. 

Individuals who are open to inspiration are always looking for the new – for change. This is because inspired people are looking to make a difference; to leave a valuable mark on this plain. It will be difficult for inspiration to find you if you insist on remaining the same and doing the same things. You cannot change your state or your circumstances by doing the same things in the same way. 

To truly be inspired, seek out and embrace new concepts.

 

Hope

Where there is inspiration, there is hope. This is not the doubtful “I hope so” you often hear from most people. True hope is about a strong belief in a better tomorrow – a brighter future. 

True hope is what keeps the fire burning day after day and it is the fuel that allows you to overcome setbacks. Without hope, it is difficult for action to manifest to achieve your goals. 

Think of it this way… 

The salesman who has no hope of making the sale doesn’t make the call. Why bother? He doesn’t believe he’s going to make the sale anyway. 

A student who has no hope of passing the test does not study. Why bother? She doesn’t believe she’s going to pass anyway. 

The person who does not believe he can won’t try. Why bother? He doesn’t believe he’s going to succeed anyway. 

Are you getting the picture? 

Hope produces action; it gives rise to unbelievable creativity and tenacity because it is fueled by a strong belief in a better tomorrow. Without hope, life becomes on failed event after another and frustration and fatigue quickly ensue. Often the result is giving up and acceptance of mediocrity. 

If you have ever seen the movie The Shawshank Redemption , you know exactly what I mean when I talk about true hope. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend adding it to your collection. 

Essentially, one innocent man’s hope of living as a free man again took 18 years to come to fruition but he never lost sight of the goal. This is because he had “HOPE” the size of the universe and thus his fire stayed lit with each passing day no matter how horrible. He had a strong belief in a better tomorrow.

 

Power

Where there is hope, there is power. A strong belief in a better tomorrow produces tremendous power in the present. Since natural law dictates that we receive what we believe, it stands to reason that the power to achieve what you believe rests with the hope you have of achieving it. 

If you have no hope, where will the power to act come from? What will keep your fire burning and producing that infinite power to keep moving forward? 

True hope gives rise to true power because to the degree that you believe in a better tomorrow, your actions will reflect the same. In effect, the size of your hope will equal the size of your power output. 

When you become aware of your true power and begin to utilize it, you begin to move and change things with incredible success. Your choices are different – better – when you realize the ultimate power you possess to change the things you want to change in your life.

 

Power Principles of Awareness

Awareness is where change begins. What you are aware of you can act on; what you are unaware of acts on you. Harnessing and implementing these 3 powerful principles will undoubtedly raise your sense of awareness. You will become keenly aware of yourself, others and circumstances around you. Being keenly aware will help you to be more effective in influencing you, people and circumstances around you. 

Keen awareness brings you many more steps closer to success because your actions will be more acute and accurate when you are in the know.  

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How to Develop and Cultivate Wisdom

Contrary to what many believe, wisdom is not simply a byproduct of aging and getting old. Sure, for the most part we all will gain some wisdom from our life experiences over time BUT, that’s really just one facet of wisdom. True sage-like wisdom requires real effort and takes time to develop, however, it can be done and the best part is… YOU can begin developing and cultivating it at any age. 

This article will cover the fundamentals of developing and cultivating wisdom. This is a deliberate process that requires diligent work in order to achieve the results you desire. Seriously, this article is more than 3,500 words long but it is jam packed with incredible insights. If you are pressed for time and you’re really interested in the topic, I urge you to print it out for later… and read it as you sip some organic Jasmine Green Tea. 

Firstly, let me make one thing clear… wisdom is not simply a level of knowledge you acquire like a degree and then you graduate… rather it is an on-going and consistent process. Real wisdom lies in the constant growing and learning of an individual. This is a life-long process in your personal growth and development that requires a deep level of commitment.

 

The Fundamental Building Blocks of Wisdom

Developing and cultivating wisdom requires that you consistently feed the four quadrants of you… your mind, body, heart and spirit. 

True wisdom is found in the oneness of these four parts of the self. The more harmonized the quadrants, the wiser your decisions will be and the more successful and impactful your actions. The difference between success and failure lie in the decisions we make and the actions we take. Aligning the four quadrants of you will certainly serve you well in making positive changes in your personal growth and development… in your life. 

I am sure that you will agree that if you knew of a way you could guarantee that you made wiser choices in your life that you’d at the very least be interested in trying it. If that’s the case then this is your challenge because there is definitely a way to guarantee you make wiser decisions and take wiser actions in your life.

 

Feed Your Mind

Wisdom begins with knowledge and as such, you must consistently feed the mind. Notice that I said mind and not brain. The reason for this is that feeding your mind doesn’t just consist of the knowledge you consume into your brain, it also includes stimulating the mind with ideas and new experiences. It involves communicating and connecting with others on an intellectual level. It requires the desire to understand things and people on a deeper level rather than just a superficial one. 

Here’s a starter list of some examples of feeding the mind. 

Read

Reading is fundamental and it could not be truer than in the case of the pursuit of developing and cultivating wisdom. From books, to articles, to blogs and all types of literature, you should always be reading something. You should even read literature that is not in line with your core principles and values because it will either make you more convicted in your beliefs or give you a new perspective. 

Either way, you grow in your knowledge and understanding of the world. I can tell you flatly that these days I am virtually never without a book to read (or listen to in the car). I read constantly and emphatically… I have a genuine thirst for knowledge. 

Talk

You have to talk to people if you want to gain deeper insight and understanding of them. When I say talk to people, I don’t mean walking up to your random stranger and striking up a conversation… although I have done that. Start with people you know, your family, your friends and co-workers. Exchange ideas with the intent to understand their point of view so well that you can repeat it back to them with clarity. This will help you develop a sharp wit and intuition about people in general and also help you hone in on what makes a person tick.

The one caveat here is that you have to be absolutely genuine in your actions. You have to desire to truly exchange ideas and understand the other person or people to whom you are speaking. Simply put superficial and meaningless chit-chat won’t work. 

Share Experiences

Another effective way to develop and cultivate wisdom is to gain insight to how others experience the world and have them learn how you experience it. It doesn’t much matter what the experiences are so long as they are real. Although you will find many commonalities, the real gems are in the discovery of how two people can experience the same thing in entirely different ways.

For instance, take the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center at which time I was working at the Financial Center directly across from the towers joined by an overhead walkway. Some of the people I spoke with afterwards who had watched the whole thing unfold on television were absolutely horrified at what they saw. Watching people jump/fall out of skyscrapers to their death was extremely traumatizing for many of these people. 

Now, for those of us who experienced this on the scene like I, it was more humane to see these people fall because from our vantage point we could see that many of them were literally on fire. So, it was either burn to death or jump to death. I don’t know about you but if death is certain and those are my choices, jumping seems quicker and less painful than burning. 

Do you see how much you can learn when you see things from different perspectives? I apologize if I stirred up any ill feelings with my choice of example because this was probably the saddest and scariest day in my life so I understand… like I said, I was there. (Maybe I’ll cover this in depth in another article… we’ll see) 

Go Places

The mind needs constant newness in order to continue growing so you have to go places and see new things if you want to do this. When was the last time you visited a museum – which reminds me I’m overdue on that one myself? Have you seen a Broadway show lately? 

Seriously, when was the last time you went some place where you really learned something new… saw the world in a different light… from a different angle? I can’t stress enough how important this is. I am not saying that you have to be some kind of history, art and culture junkie but it wouldn’t hurt to gain some insight on how other people lived and live besides you. Learning about the world around you is an effective way to feed the mind. Equally, so is learning and understanding the past as it will give you insight into where we are coming from and foresight about the future.

 

Feed Your Body

Many people think that the body has nothing to do with wisdom. These are the same people who probably live inside their own heads without ever taking the time to come out and play with others. They are completely clueless – seriously, anyone who believes the whole world exists in the mind is on his/her way to the abyss because it is impossible to learn anything new or add any real value to anyone if you never step outside yourself.  

Feeding your body is vital to the process of developing and cultivating wisdom because your body houses the mind – just for starters. Think about it for a moment… how will you diligently seek to feed the mind or any other quadrant for that matter if you are physically incapable? Without a healthy body, you won’t be able to mount the effort it will take to develop and cultivate wisdom. 

Your body needs many things in order to function optimally. Here are a few suggestions on the more important elements to feed the body for the purposes of developing and cultivating wisdom. 

Exercise

Didn’t you just know this was going to come up? Well, at the risk of sounding cliché, exercise is an absolute must. The fact is that it is proven that you feel better, have more energy and radiate more positivity when you exercise – not to mention improved sex drive and vitality.  

You don’t have to become a gym fly but you do have to consistently exercise your body. This could mean 30 minutes of walking everyday, which can do wonders for your body, or hitting the gym 2-4 times a week. If you are pressed for time, you can schedule time to work out at home. I’ve always loved doing a lot of calisthenics… pushups, pull-ups and sit-ups, etc. It’s not exactly going hard at the gym but it gets my juices going which is what’s important. 

Rest

This is so important and in many cases the hardest to accomplish. I personally struggle with this one daily because my wife and I haven’t found the right balance yet… we have two young daughters. Our older is a 2 years old and our younger is 1 year old as of the publishing of this article. It’s extremely challenging but I have also experienced the other side and the profound differences it made in my attitude, my creativity and my energy. 

Rest is vital because it keeps your body fresh and balanced. It renews you when you’ve had enough and makes you feel revitalized. A good rule of thumb is to aim for approximately 8 hours of sleep between the hours of 10 PM and 6 AM. This time frame is considered by many experts to be optimal for the body’s calibration. 

Eat Healthily

Now, this bit of information could be considered subjective, however, speaking from experience, I’d say that it makes a major difference. Your diet is what fuels the cells of the body allowing it to function appropriately. It stands to reason then, that if you feed the body crap food, you’ll get crap functionality. You know… garbage in – garbage out.

Without getting on a soap box and going off on a fanatical tirade about eating a healthy diet, I’ll just provide some simple tips on how you can begin to improve your eating habits and preserve a healthy body.

 

• Do not eat in fast food restaurants – the food in these places are toxic at best and promote obesity and a plethora of fatty-food derived diseases

 

• Stay away from processed foods – this for the most part means any mass manufactured food because they are loaded with preservatives and artificial colors that are made in a lab and therefore no good for you at all; processed foods also have a major link to obesity and heart problems among other things that are bad for your health

 

• Eat natural and organic foods – eat as much food that is closer to nature as possible; science is good and it has its uses but science no matter how good is not better than nature. Natural and organic foods have no preservatives or artificial additives that are made in labs and therefore a thousand times better for you

 

• Drink lots of pure filtered water – I am extremely challenged with this one but I know from experience that it works; 8 glasses a day should do the trick 

I know that a healthy diet might seem way off base for the topic but trust me, it’s very relevant. Personally, my family and I now eat close to 95% pure organic foods at home and rarely eat out at restaurants. I am not saying that you need to make that commitment in order to achieve your goal but I am saying that I feel a thousand times better than I did when I ate crap foods all the time and my energy level has gone through the roof since the transition began in early 2007.

 

Feed Your Heart

If you don’t feed your heart, you will be much less able to connect with people on a deeper level. Most wise choices require a strong synergy between the mind and heart. Feeding the heart will make you more apt to deal with emotional situations; it will help you discern the best course of action in seemingly muddy waters. Many believe that it is in the matters of the heart lies the greatest wisdom. I don’t know if I’d go that far but I’d say that there is certainly a great deal of wisdom in dealing with matters of the heart. 

Feeding the heart does not mean reading a bunch of romance novels or watching meaningless soap operas on television. In order to feed the heart you have to seek out and develop true connection with others. You can simply start with connecting and re-connecting with your family and friends. These are the people closest to your heart and whenever you can be of service to them, it will feed your heart. Simply being a strong shoulder to cry on or an empathetic listener can go a long way to helping someone and even further in feeding the heart. These are real connections when approached with genuine intent. 

You can make connections through direct or indirect channels. By direct channels I mean that you can seek to truly connect with the people you know, meet and come in contact with. By indirect channels on the other hand, I mean that you can volunteer your time and/or services to help those in need or donate to a cause that moves you. Either way, you feed your heart… real connections with people feed the heart. 

Why is this important? This is important because through these acts you will gain invaluable insight into the different things that motivate others. You will discover the little things that inspire and give others direction. 

Why is this important? This is important because in order to exercise true wisdom in your decisions and your actions, you need to know what moves people. It’s not so much that you need to know what moves every single person individually but more that you need to understand how to reach people on a deeper level. This helps you develop your intuition and you will develop the ability to empathize with anyone in most any situation. 

Once again, the caveat is that you have to be genuine in your actions. It is impossible to make true, lasting, impactful and meaningful connections with people if you don’t genuinely desire to do so. A good example of this came to me when I first met my good friend and mentor Ann Mincey. There was a going-away party scheduled for one of the executives at the company where I worked and even though I wasn’t on the invitation list, I ended up at this party. In any case, I’d heard of Ann Mincey many times but never had the pleasure of meeting her although it was an aspiration of mine. 

Shortly after arriving at the party, in walks Ann and to my surprise, she made a b-line straight for me. It was unexpected and exciting all at the same time. She proceeded to introduce herself to me and then asked me what has brought me to this company. The amazing thing was that Ann didn’t simply want to know my name, rank and serial number, she wanted to know me. In her words, she said to me “Tell me your story.” For a moment I thought she was just making small talk but she was serious about the question. Needless to say Ann gave me captive audience in a room full of big-wigs for a whole 30 minutes. I’ve rarely felt more special, loved and connected with than in that moment. 

We often reminisce about it together and I can tell you we made a genuine connection… Ann really went out of her way to connect with me on a deeper level and our relationship is stronger than ever. So suffice it to say that if you are going to connect with people, do it for real. In essence, you have to show love to others. 

By the way, Ann Mincey is one of the wisest people I know… I’ve learned many things from her.

 

Feed Your Spirit

Feeding your spirit really rounds out the others because the spirit is your body’s inner compass. It is the beacon of faith through which belief is strengthened. This is how you renew yourself on a whole so that you can continuously begin anew. As you gather information, learn new things and discover different insights, renewing is the part of the process that helps you boil it all down into meaningful experiences. 

When I say feed your spirit, it is not simply about your religious beliefs, it goes much deeper than that. It’s about your personal growth and development and how you process the changes you’ve made in your life. It’s how you improve your self-awareness and align your values with your actions. Feeding your spirit is all about leading a life that enriches the soul and fulfills your deepest human desires. 

There are many ways that you can feed your spirit – this is truly an individual thing. It depends on who you are and what interests you. That being said, there are a few general concepts that tend to work across the board.

Private time

This is a time for you and you alone in solace. It is a time for reflection and re-evaluation. If you have a journal, you should be writing in it a lot during this time. Many people, including me, often make light of private time but it is so important to your growth. I have now put it on a schedule to ensure that I keep the appointment with myself. YES… it’s that important! 

Give thanks

You should give thanks everyday for your many blessings. Say thank you to the ones you love often for their love and support and say thank you privately to the universe for delivering your blessings. I actually state this in my Personal Mission Statement as something I will do every day. This should be elementary but so often we forget to do these simple things… pay this simple tribute of giving thanks for the things we have. Do it until it’s a habit. 

Meditate

This is an extremely powerful exercise no matter what method you choose. Meditation clears up so much clutter when you commit to doing it, it’s almost uncanny. I don’t think I meditate often enough but the times that I have, I have experienced deep cleansing and clarity beyond my imagination. In fact, it’s a huge part of my article writing preparation. Clearing your mind gives you a chance to re-work the pieces of the puzzle and put it back together in your head in a way that works best for you. It improves your lucidity and precision in your decisions and actions – you know development and cultivation of wisdom. 

Seek fellowship

Whether you find it in your house of worship or around the dinner table, fellowship is crucial to the growth of the spirit. It renews your sense of why you are who you are and why you do what you do. It really brings to light the values that are most important to you. 

Getting together with family can be an extremely uplifting experience especially when there is hearty laughter and unconditional sharing involved. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from and what you do, we all need to form bonds with other people. Whether we know it or not, there are no bonds more important than those formed between human beings. It is through these bonds that we learn, grow and change the most. There is a reason why people ultimately go crazy when they reside in seclusion for long periods of time… they lack human contact. 

Fellowship with others nurtures synergy and helps you harness the power of oneness not only with self but with others. The pinnacle of excellence in building relationships is the ability to work effectively in unison with others. 

If you are not close to your immediate family, seek fellowship with your friends; if you don’t have many friends, join a club. The point is that, fellowship is an important part of developing and cultivating wisdom.

 

All or Nothing

If you are willing to practice in these four areas, I guarantee you will see significant and profoundly positive results in your decisions and your actions. You will realize, just as I did, that wisdom is not a level of degree you acquire but rather it’s an on-going journey of growth and personal development. Others will begin coming to you for advice because you’ve exercised such wisdom in your own life. 

If on the other hand you are not willing to go the distance and practice feeding the four quadrants of you consistently, you will fall short in your wisdom development and cultivation. Eventually, as the world changes, your decisions and your actions will be out of touch with reality because you lack the right foods. 

The fact is the more closely aligned these four quadrants are, the wiser the decisions you make and the actions you take. 

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