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Ann Mincey, one of my dear friends and incredible mentors once gave me a card that simply read "Others." Puzzled by the blank card with this one simple word inked on it, I asked her, "Why did you give this to me." She humbly replied "Because my pastor gave it to me while expressing his appreciation for my heart and spirit to lift and grow others and now I am passing it on to you because I see the same gift and potential in you."

Wow! That was indeed a deep and abiding moment for us both. I was of course instantly humbled by Ann's expression in her appreciation for the gift of my heart and spirit. That moment further drove home the irrefutable law that our overall purpose, each and every one of us, is to create and distribute value in the service of OTHERS.

It is in this vein that I invite you to truly consider "others" in your choices and actions. Truly successful and highly effective individuals not only understand the true meaning of service, they further grasp the other side of service which is the expectation of others. This simply means that in service, it is crucial that you truly understand whom you are serving, to what end and how to do it effectively so that others derive true benefits.

With that said, the following is a dictum to help you not only understand what to do through your voice but also what to consider through the voice of others before you make choices and take action.

The Voice between You & Others

To serve others is a promise manifested in duality; it considers your voice as well as the voice of others. It behooves us all to not only endeavor to know our voice but also to understand those of others.

See it through the eye of your spirit, feel it upon your heart, act on it within your mind and execute it with your body.

The use of your voice in service to others to help them find their voices is the pinnacle of greatness. For these are sacred promises… LISTEN!

You: I promise to always serve you and act only in your best interest

Others: As long as you also promise never to assume that your interests are also mine

You: I promise to always give you the very best of me

Others: As long as you also promise to always give me what I need and not always what I want

You: I promise to always push you to do your very best

Others: As long as you also promise to always expect the best of me from me and not the best of you from me

You: I promise to always listen actively whenever you express your heart to me

Others: As long as you also promise to always seek first to understand and then to be understood

You: I promise to always offer you my best words of wisdom

Others: As long as you also promise to always wait until requested or ask my permission

You: I promise to always provide you honest feedback when requested

Others: As long as you also promise never to judge me by your standards

You: I promise to always treat you with unconditional love

Others: As long as you also promise to always treat me the way you wish to be treated

If you dug deep, I am sure you could come up with even more voices like the above that would make the point. Just remember to consider not only your voice in service but also the voice of others. Without the consideration of others, it will be impossible to truly create and deliver value that benefits the world.

Love,

Dean

 

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In Memory of Shane Donlan… My Friend

You were a beautiful spirit that left us too early

Your character, your talents and gifts were all noteworthy

As I remember you now, big smile across your crown

I remember there was never a frown that you couldn't turn upside down

Our Sushi days were fun; they linger in my mind

As you would always say, I'm in – Sushi is a good time

 

And although it hurts like hell to decipher the "why"

I am willing to try to accept that there is a good reason you had to die

While my heart overflows with sorrow I know I must believe

That in the absence of your presence, there is a lesson for us to receive

Did I already say that you were a beautiful soul?

And that your smile could warm the Sahara no matter how cold?

 

You were truly loved my friend and I am praying that you know

To me you were a shining star because of your inner glow

And even though it's painful I trust it had to be so

I call on my inner strength to help me accept that you had to go

Though it was way too short, your time was well spent

And I will always cherish what every single moment meant

 

As I say goodbye for now, I pray your spirit won't forget

That I will see you again my friend, just not quite yet

Until that glorious time when together we shall again be

I will honor your memory by continuing to celebrate YOU in ME

 

Shane:

You were my colleague and more importantly my friend and I will truly miss you. I love you man. February 1987-January 2011. Namaste~

 

 

 

 

 

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31 Little Ways to Guarantee You Succeed In Everything You Do Tomorrow

Following are 31 little ways to guarantee your success in everything you do tomorrow right out of the gate. These are in no particular order; however, if you can make it a point to practice even 3 of these just for a day – you will certain see a huge difference in what you can achieve.

Some of the great benefits you will derive include but are not limited to the facts that, you will feel better, be happier, touch more people positively and you will make significant differences not only in your life and personal growth but also in others as well.

Here goes…

1. Get a good night's rest

There are not many things that beat a good night sleep. It can help in making you more relaxed, focused and accommodating. You may have noticed in your own life how much more open you are when you've had a good night sleep. You may have also noticed how closed you are when you haven't.

2. Dream big

A good night's sleep can help put you in a great space where you can truly slip into the meat of your dreams. The more restful you are, the clearer your dreams. Part of dreaming big is going to bed with the best of thoughts on your mind. Think about the things you truly love to do and the people you love. These will help you to really dream big – the sky is the limit, especially in your dreams.

3. Give thanks

As soon as your feet touch the ground in the morning and then again when they hit the bed at night, you should make it a point to give thanks for all your blessings. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, show gratitude for what you have. The law of gratitude says that the more grateful you are for the things you have the more things you get to be grateful for. So give thanks and your day will be promisingly successful.

4. Smile

As my wife puts it S.M.I.L.E. stands for See More In Life Every day. A smile, in my experience, not only makes you feel better instantly but it is also contagious. Have you ever noticed that the more you smile the more others around you smile back? Additionally, people become a lot more open and agreeable when they are smiling. This is a fundamental tactic in sales; sales people are trained to smile big every chance they get. The reason is because it is a proven fact that you get a lot more done when people are having fun – so smile.

5. Know your mission

Never leave home without knowing what your goal is. It doesn't matter if you're only going to Target to pick up diapers and toilet paper; the more crystal clear you are on your mission, the more focused you'll be. The more focused you are the more likely it will be that you will achieve your goals. In order to succeed in everything you do tomorrow, it is imperative that you are clear on what your mission is.

6. Win first

Most people wake up every day looking for a win; truly successful individuals wake up winners! All this means is that before you begin any journey, you visualize yourself at the finish line. Imagine the prize, the accolades, and the reward – see yourself doing it all the way. This is what real winners do. Executing the mission is just going through the motions; however, they've already won in their minds. As my great friend and mentor Ann Mincey puts it, "You are a star right where you are." Nuff said.

7. Make a plan

All truly successful individuals plan. It doesn't have to be elaborate; however, for each day you exist on this plane, it is important to have at the very least an outline of what you expect to accomplish in your day. Even if your day is a day of dealing with whatever life throws your way, if your mindset is in that space and this is truly your plan, you will hold frustration and depression at bay. Truly successful individuals know that if you fail to plan, you've essentially planned to fail.

No house is built without first consulting the blueprint; before the first stake is plunged and the first nail driven, the foreman and his crew look to the blueprint for the next move. This is why you need to make a plan or risk having you deluxe master bathroom end up in the barn.

8. Prioritize your tasks

The power of priority is extremely underrated. In order to succeed in everything you do tomorrow, it is crucial that you make the effort to prioritize your day. Think about what is most important for you to accomplish and when the time comes, just do those things. No matter what is happening, make it a point to go in order or priority. Yes, it might feel a bit weird at first; however, I promise that it's for the best. In my experience, proper prioritization has never failed me.

9. Put first things first

This is harder than it sounds – well at least for me. I work on this one constantly because I often get confused about what things are first. I can tell you that from experience, when I do get this right – it is amazing how well the rest of my day flows. Something as simple as giving my 2 precious daughters 15 minutes of undivided and uninterrupted attention can mean 2 hours or work time uninterrupted. Wow!

It is vital to understand what is most important in your day and in your life in order to know what to put first. Understanding these things helps you know when to stop, take a breather and focus on the right things at the right time. When you prioritize, it becomes easier to see what things come first as far as where to spend your energy.

10. Act with purpose

When you act, do it with purpose. I am not saying you need to be a stiff shirt and that spontaneity has no place in your day. I am simply saying that whatever you plan to accomplish, make sure your actions are in line with that goal. When you make a move, make sure that there is a reason – be proactive about it and don't just react to the people and environment around you. In fact, that is exactly the point; stay your course unless changing it is the right thing to do in order to achieve the results you desire.

11. Help someone

It is extremely difficult to truly help yourself unless you help someone else. Most people don't even realize the profound truth and principle in this statement; however, I can assure you that it is true. It doesn't matter if you believe it or not or are aware of it or not – this is a universal principle.

Helping someone else is a sure way to get closer to your goals. Success in everything you do tomorrow is almost assured when you genuinely seek to create and distribute vale for someone else. Make a difference in someone else's life and watch your dreams come to fruition.

12. Teach someone

A sure way to increase your own knowledge is to teach someone else what you have learned. A sure way to change the world is to educate and uplift someone else with your wisdom and experience. Knowledge is useless if we hoard it; it can only reach its true potential when we willfully share it.

13. Learn from someone

Just as teaching others is important, it is equally if not more important to learn from others. Learning from others is how we get inspired, make better choices, make a difference and be of significant service. No one knows everything he/she needs to know no matter how long you've been alive. There is always more to learn and new growth to achieve. Truly successful individuals are humble enough to know that you are always in pursuit of your full potential but that you never actually reach it. This is because no matter how much you grow – you can always grow more.

14. Lower your expectations

Slow down – this doesn't mean to lower your self-expectations. It means that you should be ok with lowering your expectation of others without lowering your standards. What most of us do is impose our expectations upon others and then get disappointed when they don't live up to them. This is called judgment. The truth is that you can always change the way you relate to and interact with a person based on their level of commitment to your relationship.

In order to succeed in everything you do tomorrow, it is crucial that you are able to lower your expectation of others without lowering your standards. This will help you tremendously in making better choices about where you spend your energy. It will most certainly reduce frustration, anger, disappointment and you will undoubtedly be much less judgmental.

15. Maintain your standards

Just because you lower your expectations of others does not mean you have to lower your standards. Maintain your standards; do not allow anyone else's choices and attitude to make you regress in your own personal growth. Stand your ground; make powerful choices that keep you in situations where your standards are met. It doesn't mean that you are turning your nose up at anyone – it just means that there is a certain standard that you choose to live by. It might be a cliché BUT, it is so true – "to each his own."

16. Find the silver lining

This is very hard for most people to do. In fact, more often than not you find many more people willing to judge someone else who seems to always find the silver lining in every cloud. It seems easier to tear someone down; however, the repercussions to your personal growth can be disastrous.

There is always some good in every situation no matter how bleak it may seem; make the extra effort to consistently look for it. No matter how others might criticize you for your optimism – do it anyway. When you are able to see the glass consistently as half full, your attitude is always up which means your aptitude goes up and ultimately your altitude.

17. Laugh

Nuff said!

18. Check your ego

This is supremely important when it comes to succeeding. As one of my mentors puts it, ego stands for "edges greatness out." Truly successful individuals are always aware of their ego and how much damage it can do when you let it run wild. Practice humility in all situations; in ego, there is infinite ignorance – in humility there is infinite wisdom.

When you can check your ego at the door, many doors remain open to you that would otherwise be closed. I can speak from personal experience to say that nothing good comes from allowing your ego to govern your choices. It is not about you – it's about YOU!

19. Stow your pride

Ego and pride walk hand-in-hand. Pride has destroyed many a men and women in a myriad of ways. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments; however, when pride leads you to remain ignorant while pretending to be knowledgeable, no good comes of it.

Pride ushers in arrogance and sense of entitlement without work. If you haven't earned it by paying the price, you do not deserve it and the universe will quickly bring you back down to earth one way or another. Pride houses the danger of the false belief that you are more important than you actually are. People are always turned off by this and you will find it extremely difficult to achieve much success when your choices are riddled with pride.

20. Don't do you

Most of you have heard this before; some of you may have even said it. I know I have before. It goes "I'm going to just do me" or something to that effect. Many times you ask people how they are doing and their response is "I'm just doing me."

Let me implore you – don't do you! Do not fall for this negative mindset masquerading as a strong and progressive one. It isn't – nothing could be further from the truth. When you adopt the mindset of "doing me", it forces you to focus on yourself which leads to selfishness. You no longer make choices that are aligned with your core values and beliefs. Instead, they are directed by whether or not, your choices serve you – you become more and more self-serving. This is a slippery slope because no real success has ever come without helping others be successful.

21. Do something different

"Observe the masses and do the opposite." That's what my Dad always said. When you do things differently, it always seem to stick out. Now, I am not saying that you should do something differently just to be different. Make sure that whatever difference you are making – it is of value to others.

Just remember that innovation – creating something new and different is one of the 7 ways to add killer value to anything.

22. Do the right thing

"Managers do things right; leaders do the right things." Be a leader tomorrow in order to guarantee your success. No matter how hard it may seem, always do the right thing. I know that it is often not as black and white as we'd like it – believe me – I can tell you from experience that it is often hard.

The point is though that the more you can do the right thing by yourself and others, the more successful you will be in your endeavors. Doing the right thing always feels way better than not. So, as much as you can aim to do the right things like all effective and truly successful leaders.

23. Ask questions

If you are going to make a difference in people's lives, it is imperative that you ask a lot of questions. Through questions, you raise your awareness and knowledge. When you ask questions, you make others feel valuable – as if they matter. When you ask questions about others, they have a greater tendency to open up to you.

24. Listen actively

Just as it is important to ask questions, that can be an exercise in futility unless you genuinely listen. As one of my mentors puts it, "Listening is a gift, give it often." When you truly listen to others, the trust level goes up and they feel even more validated because they believe that you truly care about their plight.

By actively listening to others, you will not only learn a great deal more, you will also have better insights on how to create and deliver value to others. All truly successful individuals are master listeners.

25. Love yourself

This is easier said than done – I assure you. Loving yourself means that you must truly accept, appreciate and approve of the authentic you. It is vital that you raise your awareness about who you truly are so that you can make better choices to become who you truly want to be.

26. Love everyone

Once you have learned how to love yourself, it becomes easier to love others. When I say love everyone, I simply mean that your actions towards others must come from a place of love. If you find it difficult to act lovingly towards someone, then inaction may be the most loving thing you can do. When you truly seek to show love to everyone, it frees up your energy so that you can put it into more productive and significant endeavors.

Ever wonder what that heavy feeling is inside when certain people enter a room? Yes, you know what I am talking about. Let that go – you don't need to carry someone else's weakness around. It's not your burden to bear so drop it.

27. Pay it forward

Don't forget the good deeds that others so for you. The best way you can give back in the like is to do something for someone else. Pay it forward – this is how the ripple effect gets wider. When you pay it forward, you not only make differences in the lives of others but you also expand your circle of influence. The larger your circle of influence, the higher the probability you will succeed in your goals.

28. Focus on your needs

Most people mistakenly focus more on their wants which usually leads to dead end and repeated disappointments. Even if you get some of what you want using this mindset, it is almost always short-lived. The truth is that in order to get what you want; you have to focus on your needs. It is only when your needs are met that your wants come to fruition long term.

29. Face your fears

Achieving success in everything you do tomorrow will most certainly require that you face your fears. We all have fears; however, truly successful individuals face their fears; they accept them and forge ahead courageously in the pursuit of right action. The whole point of facing your fears is to ensure that they do not paralyze you and cause stagnation.

30. Give it all you've got

This one goes without saying; however, I am still going to say it. You cannot achieve your goals if you put in "half-assed" efforts. It just won't happen. The sad truth is that so many people consistently put in lack-luster performance and consistently expect gleaming results – I don't get it! Do not be this person – give it all you've got – your very best every time and then live with the results. I guarantee you that you will feel a whole lot better about yourself even when you fall short.

31. Don't give up

Just as you're giving it all you've got – make sure you don't give up! Malcolm Forbes said it best when asked the question, "How do you succeed?" His reply was "Never give up." You know when you put all of these insights together; they are actually meaningless unless you stay the course. If you give up, the rest doesn't matter – does it?

Stay in the game; be proactive and go forth courageously in pursuit of your dreams and goals.

Well, there you have it…

These are 31 little ways you can guarantee that you succeed in everything you do tomorrow. The best part is that you don't have to practice these all at once. Some of them you may already be doing. Just choose a few to begin with, be diligent and once you've mastered one area – move on to the next.

Here's to your success and good luck!

 

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It’s Not You… It’s Me

What a burning shame

So many who know not what they do or say kicking dirt on my name

Their mean words penetrate

Making me feel tattered and battered; a mere patch of dried grass on which to defecate

Overcome by depression

As I wallow in my blinding ignorance unaware of the cause of my own futile aggression

Why can't I see?

That the only way to be free is to realize that it's not you… it's me

 

So terrible you wish me ill

Yet and still I am addicted to your barrage of verbal pain like a pill

Love me or love me not

I keep leaving me behind waiting to be defined by you because I think you're all I've got

I am simply not enough

But you're my one-stop shop for props to hold me up when times are rough

And in my ignorance of how to be

I just can't seem to understand that to be free, I have to realize that it's not you… it's me

 

Oh, what now?

Here comes another know-it-all telling me to turn my frown upside down

As if you truly know my plight

Or how the world always makes me feel like I can only exist in the modes of fight or flight

Eyes wide shut

I don't know whether I am in bliss or the abyss until you kiss me or punch me in the gut

Some say it's as easy as 1-2-3

But I just can't believe I'm already free; if only I would realize that it's not you… it's me

 

Tears trickle down my cheek

And still I protract the façade of being a victim of the system which keeps me weak

Sink or swim, stand or fall

I constantly live in the aftermath of my chosen path; my choice, my doing, my call

Hell today, Heaven tomorrow

It might feel strange but I can still change; choose sweet happiness and discard sorrow

Cliché though it may be

I'll never be truly free until I truly believe; I must realize that it's not you… it's me

 

~Ode to truly seeing you

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A Life without Enemies

At first glance, you might think the title of this article is over-reaching. You might even think it a bit naive. I admit I used to think the same. My experience though has taught me that living a life without enemies is actually the easy part; the hard part is grasping and accepting the thought process that governs it.

 

Do you have those in your life you consider enemies? Does anyone you know consider you to be an enemy? What would it mean to you if at the very least you knew of a way to minimize these instances in your life?

 

If you find that this would be valuable insight for you or someone you know, I invite you to settle in and read on.

 

Firstly, it is important to understand where our enemies come from. Get ready... it's kind of a whopper. Ready? Ok... 
  

We create our own enemies... yes that's right. There are no enemies that we have that we do not create. It is our perception of people and circumstances that create our greatest enemies. Once you can digest this simple truth, it will be easier for you to understand the attitude required to change it.

 

You can change your world whenever you wish by simply changing yourself. In fact, it is impossible for you to change your world or the world at large without first changing yourself.

 

To live an enemy-free life, there are 2 factors that must be addressed in sequence.

1.    The Enemy Within

We are our worst enemy; we do more damage to ourselves than any person or circumstance ever can. Since we have the power to control our thoughts, attitude and actions, we have the power to either inflict great harm or incredible good.

 

This being said, the first enemy we have to deal with on the road to a life without enemies is the enemy within. Improving upon the following 3 elements will have a profound and positive impact on your success in this area.

 

·         See the best in you

It is important that you do not allow your mind to work against you. Look for the best things in you at all times. Even when you fail to reach a goal, instead of focusing on the failure itself, focus on what you did well. After that, turn your attentions to the possible lessons you can learn. Never categorize a failure as you... it's just an event not you.

 

Instead, learn and grow from the things that did not work and realize that the fact that you tried your best is always enough. Also, the whole point of learning is to try again so that you can apply your new knowledge.

 

If you can practice to always see the best in yourself, it will clear your mind of unnecessary negative thoughts. Whenever your little voice starts getting down on you - just pause and tell it to STOP and then change your thoughts to be more positive. Learn to have positive conversations with yourself. Do it in your mind, in front of the mirror or out loud; whatever works best for you - just do it.

 

·         See the best in others

Just as you practice to see the best in you, do the same for others. When you consistently seek the best in others, you remain open to infinite possibilities. Never assume anything or allow your preconceptions to rule your choices. Take the proactive stance to purposely look for the best in others.

 

This does not mean that you are naive and that you turn a blind eye to people's shortcomings. It simply means that you spend most of your energy on the things that make them better people. Surely, you may know someone whom you think has no redeeming qualities; it is especially in these instances that this practice is important. In these cases you must look beyond a person's past, accept his/her present and project genuine hope for that person's future confident in the fact that this person still has the choice to change.

 

If you can truly think of it in this manner, you will always be able to see the best in others even when they do not see it in themselves.

 

Someone once asked Mother Teresa if she would attend an anti-war rally to which she humbly replied "No, but I would attend a peace rally." Now I am certainly no Mother Teresa; however, I am sure you can see the incredible power in changing your perception of a situation. It may be a mere play on words but how profound and impactful for your attitude.

 

·         Confess your own sins

Too often we spend way too much time confessing other people's sins and not our own. Other people's sins are none of your business; it is an area of concern that you cannot change. This is why it is vital that you focus on your sins so that you can change yourself. In fact, if you have any hope at all of influencing someone else to change, again, you have to first change yourself. Only through consistent work on yourself can you influence others to change.

 

The enemy within is at constant work telling you to blame the other guy when things go wrong. It will always lead you to believe it is someone else's fault causing you to expend your energy bashing others. Whenever you find this is happening, focus on what you might have done to create the situation and aim to do better next time.

 

Be accountable for your own sins – they are yours and unless you own them you will be unable to work on them. If you cannot work on your own sins, the enemy within will consistently get the best of you.

 

2.  The Enemy Without

The enemy without becomes much easier to manage once you are successfully managing the enemy within. You might consider someone an enemy if they've deliberately tried to hurt you or cause you ill will. You might also consider someone an enemy if they have expressed dislike for you or if you find yourself in a constant battle or tug of war with this person.

 

The first thing to accept in these instances is that these individuals will appear to you in the way you see them. Your perception governs your thoughts and actions towards this person. Even if it is true that this person wishes you harm, changing your perception of this person can remove the enemy mentality from the picture.

 

Again, it's not about naivety, it's about how you view the person. It is about what you choose to focus on about this individual whether they can see what you see or not. How you choose to view someone does not negate your choice of how you relate to them; it simply opens up more possibilities for positive exchanges.

 

Improving upon the following 5 elements will undoubtedly have a profound and positive impact on your success in managing the enemy without.

 

·         Make no assumptions

Although it easy to do, it is important that you make no assumptions about someone. Be proactive and assess a person for yourself. Whether from a distance or close up, it is important that you evaluate a person from your point of view. Even when you have credible sources of information, these should only serve as references to help improve upon your own observations. Often times you will find that what works or is true in one instance is completely different in another.

 

If you make assumptions, you automatically close yourself off to any other possibilities. Remember that the other person may also be making assumptions about you so be different. Go in with an open mind and a genuine intent to learn and you will find other people far more accommodating and cordial.

 

·         Seek Understanding

It is definitely true that we often fear what we don't understand. Instead of embracing our differences, we put them down. It is important that you seek first to understand others before asking the same in return.

 

If you genuinely want to understand someone else, he/she will recognize and hold you in high regard for that. Just think of what it feels like to you whenever you feel that you've been understood. Now seek to convey the same to others.

 

If you can practice this you will discover that people are much more receptive to your position.

 

·         Embrace differences

The very things that make us unique are the things that should bring us together and not drive us apart. We may all have different beliefs and ways of life; however, deep down we are all the same. We all seek acceptance, appreciation and approval. When you can truly embrace the differences between you and others, you will immediately open dialogue, exchange of ideas rather than conflict and rivalry.

 

Our differences are to be cherished not feared. We can learn a whole lot more from each other by simply opening our minds to our greatness. We all have within us a universe of greatness waiting to be unleashed. The more we encourage it, the more fruitful and positive our relationships.

 

If you can truly cherish the differences in others, your pool of enemies will quickly shrink while your pool of allies quickly grows.

 

·         No protraction

Any protracted negativity will only escalate animosity and corrosive behaviors. Do not prolong negative exchanges; instead try to put things in a positive frame. Even when the truth hurts, it goes over much better if you can frame it positively.

I am not saying you should sugar-coat or offer fluff - I am simply saying use sensitivity when delivering tough messages.

 

Do not engage in “tit for tat” shenanigans; these equate to taking a reactive stance. Instead, take a proactive stance and address the root problem. Look for win/win solutions; if for some reason you are unable to reach a consensus then your best move is to walk away. This way, although you won't be playing together in the same sandbox, you will still both be happy that you both have your own sandboxes without fear the other will drop a bomb on it. 
  

·         Offer Friendship

Sometimes the easiest way to lose an enemy is to gain a friend. There is no reason you can't turn an enemy into a friend by simply offering friendship.

 

It won't necessarily always work and not every situation would warrant such a move; however, in the event that it does - just offer friendship. A good friend is better than a bad enemy any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

 

It may be as simple as asking, "Can we be friends?" The answer may shock you.

 

Now, do not misconstrue this as a mere holier than thou attempt to rid the world of conflict and usher in world peace; although, it’s not a bad idea.

 

This is simply a guide to building more bridges than walls among each other. The undeniable truth is that it takes way more energy to keep enemies than friends. When you have more enemies, you have to expend more time, energy and resources watching your ass – I mean six.   

Conversely, when you have more friends, you have a willing army watching your rear already so you don’t even have to focus on it. With more friends, you expend way less energy, time and resources on negative crap and instead focus on things that create and distribute more value.

 

If you still believe that enemies are necessary, consider this…

 

No matter whom you are or your station in life, true success cannot be achieved alone. Without others, true success and maximum potential cannot be realized. If your world is full of enemies, whom will help you and how will you ever achieve success?

 

Ponder but a moment and realize the infinite possibilities of having friends.

 

See you in the winner’s circle. 
 

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Top 10 Reasons to Bury the Hatchet

If you ever had a dispute or disagreement with someone then you understand the tremendous amount of energy it takes to sustain it. There are a myriad of reasons why disagreements happen; the real challenge is how we handle it when they do.

 

For a long time I used to think it was just fine to have an on-going dispute or disagreement with someone as long as I believed I was in the right. There were times when it felt good to stick it to the other guy any chance I got.

 

What I have learned since that time though is that, it does you or anyone else no good when you give life to disputes and disagreements. Even when you feel good about sticking it to the other guy, the exact opposite is true – it feels better to forgive. It takes an enormous amount of energy to continue to dislike someone or sustain a dispute with someone.

 

As the hatchet gets sharper, the more you have to do to keep from getting cut. You have to consistently watch your back for fear of what the other party might do. Why let a dispute or your dislike for someone else rob you of your power? We have the power to choose to let it go and yet so many of us still refuse to bury the hatchet no matter who gets hurt.

 

Imagine this hatchet in the center of your life guiding and directing your decisions; where to eat, where to sleep, where to simply be. Is this over the top? I think not. I’m sure you’ve seen this in one form or another. One person says “I’m not coming to your party if she’s going to be there.” How ridiculous is that? Or, “I’m not going to eat at that restaurant again because he’s always in there.” My goodness – that doesn’t sound like anything I want to be a part of. It takes way too much energy that I could be putting to better use.

 

Aside from this rant though, following are the top 10 reasons you should bury the hatchet – if you have one sharpening that is. Otherwise, you can still read or print this article and give it to someone you know need it; and I know that you at least know someone who needs it.

 

I will start at #10 and work my way to the #1 reason to bury the hatchet. Here goes…

 

#10 - You’re Not a Total Moron

Sorry but only a total moron would continue to believe that there is any benefit in a protracted dispute. What’s the point of keeping the hatchet on the table if it becomes the centerpiece of your life?

 

This is inevitably what happens when you don’t bury the hatchet; you think more about that situation than you do anything else. You place such high value on this negative situation that it envelops your whole life and pretty soon it’s all you live for. If a silly hatchet is all you have to live for, you might as well go in peace right now because you’re already dead.

#9 - Better Health

OK, so you’re not buying that you’re total moron for keeping the hatchet alive – fine! How about you bury the hatchet to preserve your health? It is a proven fact that negativity drives you to the grave even faster. With a negative situation like this in your life, your health will continue to deteriorate.

 

This type of high stress is known to compound the effects of almost all diseases and medical conditions. Sickness and disease are negative things and therefore they attract more negativity. So, unless you want to give sickness and disease a helping hand in killing you – bury the hatchet.

 

#8 - Not Worth It

How could it be when all it gets you is more stress? What is the hatchet worth? Neither party derives any benefits from it; the only thing that keeps growing is the negative energy in your life. Thanks but NO THANKS!

 

#7 - Too Hard

This is way too hard a thing to sustain with no benefits coming to you. Imagine having to continuously fuel your spirit with hate and disdain for someone else. Imagine feeling like smiling and fighting your facial muscles to do the exact opposite.

 

The tremendous amount of energy that it takes to sharpen the hatchet could be directed in so many more valuable ways. This hatchet stuff to me is just too hard and certainly not the smartest way to live.

 

#6 - The Boomerang Effect

Universal and unchanging natural law says that you reap what you sow. The more of it you sow the more of it you will reap. Sow the seeds of sour grapes and reap – that’s right – SOUR GRAPES.

 

It amazes me that individuals who continue down this path also continue to believe that one day they will get different – and even more asinine – better results than they’ve gotten before. All the while they are simply putting out more and more of the same negative energy. Perhaps you should go back and read #10 because if you don’t understand the law of belief – you’re in big trouble.

 

The fact is that you will only get out what you put in… do you really want to put your energy into sharpening the hatchet or putting it away?

 

#5 - Forgiveness

Showing forgiveness is one of the purest forms of humanity. Many people misunderstand the true purpose of forgiving someone. They refuse to do it because they have decided that the other person does not deserve their forgiveness. The truth is that forgiveness is not for the forgiven – it is for the person who forgives. You cannot get past something or let go of a transgression against you unless you are willing to forgive the person who committed it.

 

Forgiving someone for having done you wrong clears your conscience and gives you room to grow; to be a better person. Not forgiving someone who has done you wrong only serves to fester negative emotion that undoubtedly do you physical, mental, emotional and spiritual harm.

 

Forgiveness is infinitely better than blame – I guarantee it!

 

#4 - The Ultimate Power

When you continue to despise those who rise against you, they rob you of your ultimate power – CHOICE. In all things we have the power to choose. Each time we allow a person or situation to dictate how we behave, we relinquish that power.

 

Who is in charge of you? Is it you or is it this person or situation for which you continuously sharpen your hatchet?

 

You will always be without your ultimate power if you continue to act only when others act upon you – that is just a reaction. Any MORON can do that consistently. It takes true self-leadership to make your own choices; to behave in a manner that is in line with your values.

 

Bury the hatchet or concede to giving up your power to choose.

 

#3 - Effective Self-leadership

With hatchets flying all over the place, you will never be able to lead yourself or anyone else effectively. Your emotions will always get the best of you and you will become a reactor that simply acts only when acted upon.

 

If you don’t care about being a leader in your own life then so be it – continue down your path of self-destruction. Just don’t ever wonder why things never go your way or why you can’t seem to overcome your shortcomings. The proof as they say is in the pudding – you reap what you sow so just deal with it.

 

If you don’t want to lead you can always play follow the leader and let your pettiness and pride lead you in a constant state of downward spiral. Good luck with that!

 

#2 - Unhappy

There is no way you can achieve true and complete happiness when there is hate in your heart. If you despise others and are content to remain in conflict then your life will be in a constant state of conflict and discontent. If you constantly deny yourself and others of who you truly are in the interest of preserving and sharpening your hatchet, how can you ever be happy?

 

Happiness comes from within which means that you must seek out the best in yourself and share that with the world. When you spread negativity, negativity will come back to you. Over and over, negativity will show up in your life as long as you continue to sharpen the hatchet. Just release and let it go and your happiness will immediately increase.

 

#1 – Live by the Hatchet – Die by the Hatchet

Well isn’t this the quintessential cliché? Perhaps; however, it is undoubtedly true. Sooner or later, if you continue to sharpen the hatchet you will get cut. It may not cut you directly but perhaps someone you love will reap the wrath of the nasty seeds you’ve sown.

 

Don’t under-estimate the power of karma – sins of the father often visit upon the son. Sure, tragic things happen to good people everyday; however, they are not remembered for that tragedy – they are remembered for how they lived. When the hatchet turns on you, all people will remember is how you lived; they will think that you died in the same manner, deservedly so.

 

What’s the point?

If you’re still asking this question, start reading again from the top. Sure, this whole article may be considered subjective and I am sure that someone else could come up with another 10 reasons why you should bury the hatchet.

 

The point is that there is no good reason to keep sharpening one; it only robs you and the rest of the world of your true self; your greatness.

 

Continuing in this negative quest means that you are either too stupid to realize your folly or I’m mistaken and you are a total moron. Now, there is very little I can do to help you if you’re just stupid but I already know that stupid people don’t visit my website. That leaves MORON and for that there is a cure. Get off your ass; stop whining about what someone else did to you and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s just plain pathetic!

 

If you happen to see things differently than someone else – no big deal – just agree to disagree and move on. That’s called choice. Taking it any further in terms of malice, unfriendliness and despite is just plain moronic and a waste of time. 

You know what else is a waste of time? Writing one more word trying to convince you why you should bury the hatchet – that’s a colossal waste of my time and yours. So on that note…