Dean L. Forbes

Attitude, Aptitude & Altitude – Powerful Principles in Personal Leadership

You cannot lead others in any area of life until you first succeed in leading yourself in the same. This is what it means to lead by example. 

Mohandas Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Truer words have never been spoken about personal leadership – leading self. Essentially, the powerful principle at work here says that to the degree that you can lead yourself successfully – you can lead others to that level. You cannot however help others succeed at anything beyond a level that you have not attained.  That would be like you coaching an apple tree on what type of apples to bear. It doesn’t make sense – does it? 

Success in your personal growth will be defined by your success in personal leadership. It will be crystallized by how well you lead yourself in the different areas of your life. How you lead yourself is the way you will lead others. 

Ever notice how those individuals who seem to hate their lives are consistently saying and doing things to make others miserable? Often times we are not even aware of our behavior until we either reap the negative consequences or someone who loves us enough tells us about it. 

Success in your personal leadership will depend on many factors; however, following are 3 of the major pillars of personal leadership. The goal of this article is to not only raise your awareness to these factors but also to help you understand how they apply in your life and your personal growth.

 

1.    Attitude

The manner in which you approach any situation is crucial to the results that you ultimately achieve. If you can maintain a positive attitude, you will always be able to find the upside in almost any situation. 

While I am completely aware that it is sometimes hard to maintain a positive attitude, I am totally convinced that doing so makes a significant difference in the results you achieve. 

Your attitude determines your mindset; it is the foundation on which your responses sit. The attitude you choose to have – and yes it is your choice – will determine how effective you are. 

To maintain a positive attitude, it is important that you believe in 3 things:

1.      Believe in choice – you must believe in your ability to choose your attitude and your responses in any given situation. No matter how hard it may seem, how you respond to circumstances and the people around you is your choice. You are the master of your fate and the choices you make determine it. 

2.      Believe in possibilities – make no assumptions and embrace change; this is how you believe in possibilities. When you believe in possibilities, it opens your heart and mind to new worlds; some of which you have only imagined and even the ones you have not. This mindset significantly impacts your attitude in a positive way because when you are open instead of closed, your experiences are richer and you feel a whole lot better. 

3.      Believe in the future – your attitude will be acutely affected by your hope for the future. If you have no hope then your attitude will be one of pessimism and cynicism. If you truly have hope for the future – a better tomorrow – your attitude will reflect it and so will your choices. 

The way that you approach your life and your outlook for the future are the fuel for a positive attitude. Without a positive attitude, it will be hard for you to imagine a better tomorrow. This is why your mindset is so important to your success – to improving your personal leadership.

 

2.  Aptitude

Success in your personal leadership also requires that you continuously seek to improve your abilities. If you can only lead others to the level of success that you’ve experienced then consistently improving your abilities will provide you with more experiences and knowledge to share. 

Your aptitude determines how well you do something; it is the level of your abilities that will sustain the fire in your attitude. If you do not seek to improve your skills or use your gifts then you will continue to struggle. The more you struggle the harder it will become to maintain a positive attitude. 

A very popular misconception is that having a positive attitude is all you need to succeed. While it is obvious that a positive attitude is vital to success, it cannot stand alone. If you have no clue what you are doing and no plans to learn, you will achieve nothing. Your attitude is the foundation; however, your abilities determine the success in execution.

There is no use sending in the world’s greatest electrician to do a plumber’s job – he simply doesn’t have the propensity for fixing pipes; wires for sure but not pipes. Additionally, no one wants to follow anyone who is clueless about what he/she is doing or where he/she is going. 

High aptitude requires 3 things:

1.      Keen awareness – the more aware you are, the better the choices you make and the more effective you will be. It is easy to become aware of your strengths; however, becoming aware of your shortcomings is more difficult because we don’t want to see ourselves in that light. It is important though to look at yourself honestly and give an accurate assessment of your abilities. The more you know what you don’t know, the more you will learn.

2.      Practice – it does truly make perfect. The more you do something the better you become at it and the more success you achieve. High aptitude comes from doing; acting on the things you learn. 

3.      Mentorship – this goes both ways in improving aptitude. While it is vital to your personal growth and leadership that you find and follow mentors, it is equally vital that you mentor others. Although this is also a form of leading others, it can do wonders for your own personal leadership. The more you share your knowledge and experience with others, the more room you create to fill up on more knowledge and experience. One of the best ways to keep learning is to teach. 

If you can master these 3 elements, your aptitude – your skill level will improve significantly.

 

3.  Altitude

Your altitude is about the heights to which you can grow. We all have the potential to reach tremendous heights; however, many of us won’t even reach half that potential. Your altitude is fueled by your attitude and aptitude. 

With the right mindset and the consistent growth of your skill set, there are no limits to what you can achieve. There are no limits except for those that we place on ourselves. Often times the biggest roadblocks we face are in our minds. 

Let’s look at altitude from an academic standpoint. In order to move to the next level, you must successfully pass different tests or exams that the curriculum requires. Essentially, your studies prepare you so that you can showcase your level of ability on these tests or exams. If you cannot pass the tests or exams for a particular level, you do not earn your degree so that you can move to the next level. 

Individuals who consistently move to the next level all have to focus on these 3 things:

1.      Desire – you must understand your true desires in order to reach high altitudes. The more you understand what it is you truly seek, the better your choices will be, bringing you ever closer to your goals. With a crystallized goal in mind, your choices and actions will reflect that intensity. 

2.      Intent – knowing exactly what you intend is like an arrow heading for the bull’s eye; its purpose is clear. Desire precedes intent and intent precedes follow through. Again, it is important to truly understand exactly what your intentions are; this is your guiding light for the choices you make. You decide what to do and say based on your true intent. Academia-wise, your true intent will dictate how much you need to study and so forth.

3.      Follow through – without action, nothing gets done. This is why it is important to follow through on your plans. Personal leadership requires that you follow through on your intent in order to achieve your goal. When your desire and intent are clear, it will help you to avoid the pitfalls of the debilitating disease of procrastination. 

The most beautiful thing about altitude is that it is defined by the limitations you place on yourself. Altitude is a principle which means it is limitless; you can never exhaust it. The minute you understand that, you realize a profound shift in your mindset. Once you begin to believe in infinite possibilities and that the universe has the power to deliver anything you desire – you’re truly FREE. 

My experience has been that improving these 3 powerful principles in personal leadership result in milestone successes every single time. Whenever I have applied them, the results I have achieved have been profound, impacting and fulfilling. 

If you can improve your ability to lead yourself, others will want to follow your example because you are authentic. 

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The Natural Law of Momentum

How may people even realize that momentum is a natural law – a universal principle; that it exists and operates in our lives whether we believe it or not? 

The incredible thing about momentum is that once you understand it and how it applies to your life and personal growth, your chances of success go way up. If you can align your choices, thoughts and actions with the universal principle – the natural law of momentum, your success rate will go through the roof. 

As with all natural laws though – you can either operate in ways where they serve you or break you. Remember principles are not biased; they do not break – we can only break ourselves against them.

 

Let’s first define momentum. 

Momentum is impetus, force, thrust; it is the energy source that drives something else. It is like an avalanche that builds in magnitude, speed and potential as it gushes down the slope.

 

Momentum Awareness

As I have often said; what you are aware of you can act on, what you are unaware of acts on you. I can say with certainty that you are either acting on momentum right now or momentum is acting on you. It is irrelevant whether you believe it or not – it is happening anyway. 

Whatever you give consistent and increasing energy to will build massive momentum in your life. As one of my mentors Blair Singer puts it, “highest energy” wins. This is so true. What you feed grows; what you starve dies. It couldn’t be simpler when it comes to momentum.

 

Take the old Eskimo analogy…

There was once an old Eskimo that had one black dog and one white dog and every Saturday; these dogs would fight until one of them was too tired to continue. Some Saturdays the black dog would win and on others the white dog would win. The odd thing was no matter which dog won the old Eskimo would always bet on the winner – somehow he always knew which one would win. 

One day, a young fellow asked the old Eskimo “How is it that you always bet on the winning dog; how do you always know which one will win.” The old Eskimo replied “Why that’s easy son – I just bet on the one I had been feeding all week.” 

So you see, what you feed – give energy to will grow and what you starve will die.

 

Here’s the point… 

If you consistently and increasingly feed or give energy to negativity, the negative events in your life will become plentiful and momentous. If you get up every day and whine, complain and bitch about the things you don’t have, you will only get more of nothing. Your bank account of “have not” will continue to grow and build magnitude, speed and potential just like an avalanche. 

Have you ever noticed that the more down you are the more the universe works to keep you down? That’s the natural law – universal principle – of momentum at work in your life. 

On the other hand, if you consistently and increasingly feed or give energy to positivity, the positive events in your life will become plentiful and momentous. If you get up every day feeling happy to be alive, give thanks for what you have and show gratitude for others, you will get even more to be thankful and grateful for. Your bank account “have” will continue to grow and build magnitude, speed and potential just like an avalanche. 

Have you ever noticed that the more up you are, the more the universe works to keep you up? That too is the natural law – universal principle – of momentum at work in your life.

 

Momentum Application

I don’t think I am making any assumptions when I say that you would rather give energy to the best things in your life than the worst. I am sure you would rather feel more up than down every day of the week. If not – don’t bother reading any further because this won’t help you. 

Now that you understand that momentum is indeed a natural law – a universal principle – it is important that you understand how to apply it to your life and personal growth. 

Momentum is a perpetual cycle; it is always going and continues infinitely. Knowing this helps you to understand that the more energy you give to the people, circumstances and activities in your life, the more energy they will need and the more room they will occupy. What this means is that it is your responsibility to choose your relationships, circumstances and activities wisely. 

To ensure that the momentum in your life is fueled with the proper octane of gasoline, you must make choices that are in line with your core values and grounded in correct principles. Feeding any negativity whether by way of your relationships or activities will only make the negative events more momentous in your life. There is a reason why you are often judged by the company you keep. 

Certainly, you may not be a thief BUT, if you hang out with thieves, you cannot then be truly astonished if others also believe that you too are a thief. It may not be right for others to make that assumption; however, you can certainly see how easy it would be to make such an assumption considering the company you keep. 

Furthermore, if you are not a thief, why would you hang out with thieves? Hanging out with thieves whilst not being a thief is like saying I’m not a minion of Satan – I just like hanging out in hell. 

Sure that’s your prerogative but it would be kind of hard not to see you as one of his minions. Besides, it’s hypocritical to say you are one thing and yet give energy to something completely opposite. The point is that if you give thieves energy, their aura and energy will build up momentum in and around your life. When the police come knocking – don’t be surprised. 

If you want the right things (whatever right things mean to you) to build momentum in your life, those are what you have to focus on. The difficulty comes in when life throws you all sorts of curve balls and it becomes near impossible to juggle them all. Frustration sets in, then dejection and ultimately depression which leads to a negative spiral down into the abyss of despair. 

The goal then is to maintain a positive attitude much more often that you do a negative one. This way, you will be able to feed the right things and give energy to positivity. Here are a few tips that can help you maintain a more positive attitude. 

• Give thanks every day – each day you rise, give thanks for life; for the blessings in your life no matter how small you may think they are. Find new things to give thanks for and the more you do it, the more you will get to be thankful for. 

• Celebrate all wins – learn to celebrate all your wins and the wins of others. No matter how small the success, give yourself a pat on the back for having accomplished it; shout it out – tell someone and truly feel good about it.

• Show gratitude – first of all show appreciation for you and then show appreciation for all the people in your life. Show appreciation even for the people who don’t like you as much; appreciate the lessons you’ve learned because of them.

• Be of service to others – find new ways to be of service to others; it doesn’t matter what you do so long as you provide value to someone else with a genuine heart. The greatest gift that you can ever give to another is YOU. 

The more you can maintain a positive attitude, the easier it will be for you to focus on more productive and enlightening things. You will complain less and solve more problems; you will whine less and help more; you will take less and give more; you will pout less and do more. All of these things will positive momentum in your life. 

If you’re still thinking that this really can’t be all there is to it – think again. 

Just think about how much energy you’ve given in the past to some of the most negative and repeating occurrences in your life. Think about all the complaining, whining and bitching you did about them. Worse yet; think of how many conversations you entertained about them – this is where momentum really gets out of control. 

The ripple effect of one conversation spanned across 10 people who talk to 10 other people each who also talk to 10 other people each would result in a 1,000 person ripple effect. That becomes a magnitude of 1,000 negative conversations building momentum around just one issue. That’s the power of momentum. 

Can you then imagine the same scenario around much more positive topics? The build of momentum would be the same 1,000 ripples; however, the feeling and the atmosphere would be totally different and much more fulfilling. 

The natural law of momentum simply says that the more force you put behind something – the more energy you feed it, the bigger and faster it gets and the more potential it has on impact. 

When you consider this, what are the things you want to stop giving your energy to right now? What are some of the issues that have been plaguing you repeatedly because you kept feeding into them? 

Ponder it a moment and I am sure you will come up with a few things almost immediately. Once I understood this principle, the immediate changes in my life were profound and impactful and still continue to be. It’s not always easy to flip the switch the other way; however, I can say with absolute certainty that every time I have – it’s been totally worth it.

Here’s to more positively momentous events in your life.  

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7 Popular Negative Phrases You May Not Be Aware Of

There are so many things that we say daily without even thinking; some good some bad. Usually, we understand exactly what we’re saying and have a pretty good idea of what the impact might be. 

There are those times though when we say some things and unbeknownst to us, does way more damage than we are aware of. The reason is because when we use these phrases, we don’t even realize that they are negative. What’s worse, we are totally ignorant of how using these phrases affect our attitudes and actions. 

Don’t be shocked at some of the phrases you read in this article; furthermore, don’t fall off your chair if you realize you use one or more of them way too often. My goal is simple; to raise your awareness to 7 of the most popular negative phrases that masquerade as positive or realistic sayings. 

Ready? Ok, here goes…

 

1.    It is what it is

On its face, this phrase may sound like a realistic one; it might even sound positive to many. The underlying meaning is supposed to be that you are ok with what is and that you’re just dealing with it. 

The problem with this phrase however, is that it puts you in a weak, digressive and reactive mindset. It is what it is basically says that you have no influence over what happens to you or around you. It says that you are at the mercy of all that is and will be and that you have no choice but to deal with what comes because that is all you can do. 

Even if when you say this phrase this is not what you mean, it still creates that negative energy. The truth is that rather than saying “It is what it is”, a more firm, progressive and proactive thought would be to say, “It is what I make it.” Now doesn’t that sound much more positive and uplifting? 

When you say or invoke that “It is what I make it”, you are in effect saying that you do have influence over what happens to you and around you. You are saying that you don’t have to just deal with what comes, you can make choices to create the future in which you want to live. So please, can this phrase immediately if you are a user or worse an abuser. 
  

2.  What is to be will be

Really… is that truly the message you want to convey? 

This again is another phrase masquerading as realistic but really not – and certainly not positive. What is to be will be is an excuse not to act; it’s a cop out. In the words of the great Bob Marley “Every man (or woman) has a right to decide his own destiny.” 

This phrase creates a mindset that you have no control over what happens to you or your station in life. It basically says that your future is already written and no matter what you do today, you cannot affect tomorrow. Nothing could be further from the truth. The real truth is that no matter what has happened in your past and no matter what is going on in your life presently, it is the choices you make today that will determine the outcome of your tomorrow. There are no ifs ands or buts about that. 

When you invoke “What is to be will be”, you’ve already given up your power to the people and circumstances around you. If you believe that you have the ultimate power to choose your destiny, a better phrase would be “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” Certainly this phrase sounds better that to leave your fate to the will of the blowing winds. 

Remember this… while people and circumstances undoubtedly influence your actions, they do not determine; only you and your ultimate power of choice determines your fate. What you make of your life is totally up to you whether you believe it or not.

 

3.  I’ll believe it when I see it

This phrase is extremely popular – sometimes said like this: “seeing is believing.”  What an absolute mind job this is! 

Basically, this phrase strips you of any hope for mankind or the greatness within it. I hope it doesn’t surprise you to see me take it this far. The truth is that it does run this deep.

 

Ponder a moment… 

I’ll believe it when I see it essentially means that you don’t accept anything as real unless it first manifests before your eyes. Can you see the absolute buffoonery in this thinking? How can anything come to past unless it is first believed? 

Nothing happens unless someone believes it is going to happen; belief precedes action and action begets results. To the degree that you believe something, your results will reflect the same intensity. 

It stands to principle then that “I’ll believe it when I see it” is not only negative but also ass backwards. If you wish to see anything manifest in your life, a more impactful and principle-aligned phrase would be “I’ll see it when I believe it.” This is how you manifest your success – you must first believe that it will happen and your actions will fall in line which will produce the results you desire. 

Look, if you are still going to continue using this phrase, it means two things: first you are definitely a cynic and all you can think of is negativity. Second, you are totally ok with being a BUFFOON.  

4.  I can’t…

Any phrase that starts like this can only go downhill from there. This is a tough one because often times when we use the term “I can’t” what we really mean is “I choose.” 

It was difficult; however, I have managed to reduce the use of this significantly and it has done wonders for my attitude. The more you begin your phrases with I can’t, the more disempowered you become. You see, every time you say I can’t, you are in effect saying that you have no choice and that someone else is pulling your strings like a puppet. 

The way I see it is that you have to go from puppet to puppet master. No one pulls your strings but you. My experience is that there are two instances in which the “I can’t” term comes out rather quickly. The first is when you truly believe that making any other choice would be dire to you. The second is when you need to shelter yourself from the backlash; you don’t want to be accountable for your choice so you back pedal by saying “I can’t. 

Either way, all you are doing is disempowering yourself more. Instead of “I can’t”, more empowering phrases would be “I can” or “I choose.” Sure, both alternatives make you responsible for what you say and accountable to your word but so what – that’s the way it is supposed to be. Don’t be a powder puff – own your choices.

 

5.  That’s impossible

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard (used) this one, I’d own my own island by now. This is a phrase that quickly passes our lips the moment we hear something that is different than what we believe. People who live to uphold the status quo often think that anything that goes against the status quo is impossible. 

No matter how many human, scientific, medical and technological breakthrough we achieve, some of us still find it difficult to stop abusing these words. The fact of the matter is nothing is impossible – NOTHING! 

The universe has an infinite supply of possibilities that we cannot hope or even begin to exhaust. The mere fact that change and evolution take place constantly negates the possibility of exhausting possibilities. I don’t know if it ever sounded intelligent but I know that in this day and age, using the phrase “That’s impossible” sounds dim-witted at best. 

Instead of responding by saying “That’s impossible” when you hear something different or unusual, try a response like “How would that work?” or “What does that look like to you?” or something more humble like “I never thought of it that way.” You will learn so much more if you can practice this approach. 

Let me put it this way… if you can recall at least 5 events or discoveries that you once thought were impossible, you should eliminate this phrase from your vocabulary immediately. And, if you are unable to do that, then you are either a developing infant or you’ve been sleepwalking for at least the past decade. For your sake I hope you are the former. 
 

6.  What if it doesn’t work?

Yeah… but what if it does? 

Fear is a major driver of this negative phrase. People who are fearful of change often ask this question because they only need one reason not to move forward. This gives them a way out – something to blame other that where the blame squarely rests – on their shoulders. 

Don’t get me wrong, it is totally ok and prudent to review and research and crosscheck your facts and figures. When you’re doing that though, you ought to be looking for solutions to the problems you encounter. If all you ever do is point out the problem, it is like throwing gasoline on a fire and simply walking away.

Visionaries don’t ever think in terms of what won’t work; they always want to know what will. The fact that something won’t work just means that there is a solution that needs to be found. If you are constantly asking “What if it doesn’t work?” you are just impeding progress. 

Instead of asking “What if it doesn’t work?” ask “What if it does?” This thinking creates a mindset of solutions and possibilities. It gives rise to creativity, tenacity and powerful imagination. At some point, in order for an idea to flourish, you simply have to let it go and see what happens. Celebrate the successes and learn from the failures – that is all you have to do.

 

7.   If only I had more…

This phrase is the quintessential beginning of some of the best excuses ever thought of. This is because it is so easy and seemingly justified when you begin your phrases with this. It basically lays the burden of every shortcoming and failure on things over which we have no control.

 

For instance… 

“If only I had more time.” This said even when you knew from the onset exactly how much time you had. Another classic is “If only I had more money.” Really… what difference would it make? And furthermore, it’s easy to simply dodge the bullet by saying if only I had more money when all the while you know you have no plan or any hope of ever having more than 2 pennies in your pocket. 

First of all where time is concerned, you’re never going to have more or less of it. Time is a principle that merely exists; it is constant and keeps ticking away no matter what you do. All we can do is manage ourselves in alignment with the principle; this is why we invented 24 hours for a day and so forth. It is simply an effort to be more productive, efficient and healthy. 

As for having more money – hogwash; work with your true gifts and talents to create and distribute value to others. If you are tying your worth to how much money you have, you aren’t really worth that much anyway. 

The bottom line here is that this phrase places blame on things over which you have no control which makes them the perfect scapegoats. This is a negative mindset because it robs you of abundant thinking. Instead of beginning your phrase with “If only I had more…” begin by saying “I appreciate….” When you show gratitude, you get more to be grateful for. 

This mindset creates a more positive and uplifting attitude that can only propel your success even further. 

If you are still reading, I suspect that one of two things must have happened…

1.      This article actually struck a nerve a it’s making you think and rethink your entire vocabulary – this is good 

2.      You have been laughing your ass off the whole way through and you couldn’t wait to read what hilarious thing I was going to say next – this is also good.

 

Here’s the deal… 

If you truly believe that your words carry any kind of power, I am certain you would want to be careful what you say. My goal was to raise your awareness; the rest is up to you. Just remember what you are aware of you can act on, what you are unaware of acts on you. 
 

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How to Overcome Procrastination

This debilitating disease has plagued us all at one point or another in our lives. For some of us, it is a constant and infectious virus running amuck in our world. My experience is that procrastination is a dream killer – it can really take you out of the game of life. If you are unaware of the dangers, it can take you out for good. 

The bottom line is that a procrastinator is a self-assassinator. 

For those brave enough to accept the challenge of curing this awful disease, the results are staggeringly positive when you succeed. The sad truth is that the challengers are few and far between. 

I have met and counseled so many individuals who set goal after goal but never get around to taking one step towards them. And by the way, I’m not talking about dodo heads and morons – I’m talking about people with at least half a brain which is more than enough to get most things done. 

  

Why people procrastinate

Fear is the number one reason why people procrastinate. It’s either fear of failure or even success. It’s the fear of looking stupid to the world if it doesn’t work. It is a mark of the cynicism and negativity that has taken root in our psyche over time. Unless you can weed this out, procrastination is sure to be the victor.

 

Think about it for a moment… 

What are you waiting for to go after your dreams? The truth is that the tides will never be just right; the moon and the stars will not align perfectly to give you a sign. This is a fool’s folly – your destiny is not out there – it rests with you. No matter what excuses you make and no matter how many justifications you give, your future is still in your hands. The moon and stars align only when you are ready to act – it may seem like a miracle but it won’t happen unless you make it happen.

 

Here’s what usually happens though… 

First you tell yourself it’s not the right time and yet you make no plans or preparations for when the right time arrives. How can it ever be the right time if you are not prepared? 

Next you ask yourself “what if it doesn’t work?” This is only gives you a myriad of reasons why not. The one you should be asking, the one that truly makes a difference, is “what if it does work?” 

The list could go on and on here but I think you get the gist. People with an excuse mindset will come up with all sorts of rational lies (rationalize) why something cannot happen and won’t work.

 

The right mindset

In order to diminish procrastinating habits, it is important that you have the right mindset. If your first response is to make excuses and offer justifications when you are challenged, procrastination grows in your life. These are the elements that this debilitating disease feeds on; this is how it envelops your life. 

The more excuses you make, the more procrastination grows. Have you ever noticed that when you put off one thing just how easy it becomes to put off the next thing? It can become a vicious cycle before you realize what is really happening. By the time you wake up and smell the coffee, you’re in debt, you’ve been passed over for that promotion 3 times, you’re about to lose your house and your wife and kids don’t know you anymore. 

OK… a little dramatic – yes. I am sure you can appreciate the underlying message though; if you aren’t careful procrastination can cause major upheaval in your life. 

The mindset that works to eliminate procrastination is one of responsibility and accountability. You must endeavor to hold yourself accountable for your actions or in this case your inaction. You have to be the first person not to let you off the hook with feeble excuses and justifications. 

If you need to, devise a system of actions and consequences for yourself. For instance, every time you make excuses for your actions, you deprive yourself of something you really love – your favorite food, your favorite pastime, sex. 

It might sound silly; however, if you can muster the strength to practice this, your procrastinating ways will surface quickly and often. The goal of this exercise is to raise your awareness of how often you procrastinate – even about the simplest things. Often times, we don’t even realize this is happening until the disease has become a giant malignant tumor.

 

Reducing Procrastinating Behaviors

I am not going to write about eliminating procrastination completely because I don’t know if that is realistic. I mean, there are things that I still procrastinate on; they just aren’t the most important in my life. 

My experience is that reducing procrastination especially around the things that matter most, significantly improves your success rate at anything. So, even though I am sure that some of you don’t procrastinate at all about anything, I won’t take that route because I’d be a hypocrite. 

Following are 5 habits that help to reduce procrastination significantly.

1. Create a personal mission statement – this will help you center and focus your energies. A personal mission statement outlines what you are about, where you are going and how you plan to get there. You see, often times we procrastinate because we don’t have a clear picture in our minds who we are or where we are going; this creates “scatter brain” syndrome.

2. Write down and date your goals – this is so important; it’s a lesson I had to learn the hard way over and over before it clicked in my brain. This is probably one of the most powerful habits that I have ever developed. When you write down and date your goals, they instantly become real. Now it’s in ink and you can look at it. You have something to refer back to; you don’t need to remember what you’re supposed to be doing. When you write down and date your goals, you can track them; you can track yourself against them to see how you are doing. Many times we don’t even know how badly we suck because we have no barometer – no checks and balances. When your goals are written down and dated, it is harder to hide from them. 

3. Make “to do” lists – whether you do this daily or weekly, it is important to make “to do” lists. This is another powerful tool because each time you check something off, you get more excited. When you don’t have a list, you don’t even know what you’ve done and worse, days may go by and you haven’t done one thing that you really wanted to do. Your to do list is a guide – it is your tactic sheet that is helping you execute the strategy you’ve put together to achieve your goals.

4. Celebrate all wins – it is important that you celebrate all your wins no matter how small. Each time you check something off your list, you should celebrate it because you’ve accomplished something. When you do this, it will fuel your passion and motivation to do even more and achieve at even greater heights. Celebrating a win can be as easy as pumping a fist in the air, pulling it in and saying “YES” emphatically. Blair Singer taught me that one and it really gets your juices going.

5. Debrief regularly – whether you succeed or not at something, it is extremely important that you debrief yourself. Do this alone or with someone else if you need to BUT do it. Procrastination is like a virus – it latches on to negativity quickly and just spreads like wildfire. Especially when things don’t go as planned, it is important that you get your head around it as quickly as possible by debriefing. Ask yourself what worked and what didn’t and then learn from the hiccups. Don’t internalize the failure and let that stop you from moving forward or trying again… failure is just an event not you. 

Practicing these 5 habits will undoubtedly improve your ability to focus and center your energies. You will be able to overcome procrastination more easily and quickly especially in the areas that matter most to you. 

Procrastination may be a debilitating and vigorous disease but the good news is that there is a cure. What are you waiting for… stop procrastinating and get off your ass.  

 

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The Natural Law of Awareness

What you are aware of you can act on; what you are unaware of acts on you. This is such a profound realization as taught to me by one of my mentors. The simple truth of it is refreshing once you grasp it and the light bulb goes on in your head. 

Awareness is a principle that exists and operates in our lives whether we are aware that it does or not. Understanding how it works is crucial to success in your personal growth and development. My experience is that the more keen your awareness in a situation or about a particular circumstance, the more effective your actions and the results you achieve. 

Let’s first define awareness… 

Awareness speaks to your level of consciousness; how awake you are in a particular situation. It speaks volumes about your knowledge, responsiveness and alertness. It is about your sensitivity to you, circumstances and those around you. It goes to your receptiveness of the outside world and how you manage it on the inside. 

To the degree that you are aware of the inner and outer world, the effectiveness of your choices, thoughts and actions will reflect the same. How you behave will largely depend on how aware you are. 

When you raise your level of awareness, you automatically raise your potential for success. This is how the principle – the natural law of awareness works. It exists and operates whether you know it or not or believe it or not. It simply is. 

In my experience, awareness comes in 4 forms. You may have seen them categorized differently; however, these are basically the 4 different forms of awareness.

 

1.    Unawareness

The fact that you have no clue what is going on does not negate the fact that there is a level of awareness in play. In a state of ignorance, everything and everyone is acting on you without your knowledge. You may blame and complain about your circumstance and others at this level; however, the truth is that your unawareness is the real culprit in your frustration. 

When you lack knowledge of something; you also lack the ability to make other choices simply because you don’t even know they exist. In this case, ignorance is not necessarily bliss – in fact, it could be down right miserable. 

Here’s the lesson… 

Whether you have knowledge or not doesn’t mean that the knowledge doesn’t exist and that its existence isn’t operating in your life. It may be a little weird or hard to grasp at first BUT think about it – really think about it.

 

2.  Reactive Awareness

In this case you are always aware of and act on circumstances and people around you. The focus of your choices, thoughts and actions are largely based on how others view and treat you. 

Also, at this level, you do not accept total responsibility for your own choices, thoughts and actions. Since you are mostly reacting to circumstances and other people, you blame them for your choices, thoughts and actions. This is reactive behavior which causes a severe lack of self-leadership. 

Reactive awareness is not ideal simply because it leaves you out of the equation. When all your choices, thoughts and actions are based on circumstances and/or other people, you lack your own voice. You are not making decisions based on the things you value most but rather on the things you believe others value most.

No matter what you believe at this moment, it is certain that this way of thinking will lead to frustration and unhappiness. This is because, you cannot have good and firm grounding or a good sense of direction when you are simply blowing the way others and circumstances blow. If you change your stance with the direction of the wind, you will ultimately spiral into chaos, confusion and disarray. Your level of personal growth and success will undoubtedly be stunted.

 

3.  Proactive Awareness

Proactive awareness is complete awareness. In this mindset, although you are aware of others and circumstances, you are most aware of yourself. You are completely in tune with your choices, thoughts and actions and you understand that these are the things you truly control. 

You do not blame and complain about others and circumstances when things go wrong because you realize that your choices, thoughts and actions precipitated that outcome. Proactive awareness demands that you be responsible for you; the way you think and act in any given situation.

This means that you are aware of your strengths and your shortcomings; you are aware of others in the same manner; however, you do not base your choices on them. Your choices are based on your core values regardless of what others think. The person you show others is the person you want to be and not the person they want you to be. 

This is the practice of complete awareness – proactive awareness. You take a deliberate stance to be a person who evaluates his/her own choices, thoughts and actions so that you can learn to improve yourself.

 

4.  Instinctive Awareness

Frankly, this list could stop at 3; however, I have found it quite valuable to include this 4^th form of awareness. My experience is that when you practice something over and over again, you only become better and better at it. At some point, you no longer seem to have to put much effort into succeeding at it because it has become a habit – a part of your DNA. 

This form of awareness, I have dubbed instinctive awareness. At this level, you are so keenly aware that things seem to happen and function automatically. You make choices, think thoughts and act with your core values guiding you on auto-pilot. Certainly since you are always learning, there are things that will always be at the other 3 levels. Eventually though, if you are diligent in your practice and seek to improve your awareness at all times, you will end up here – at this level. 

For instance, reading, writing and attending seminars and workshops by incredible individuals from whom I can continue to learn is not something I really have to think about anymore. I just do it; it seems automatic. I instinctively spend time, money and resources improving my own personal power, growth and self-awareness. I love doing that and I realize of course that it helps me tremendously to help others even better. 

This is just me – what’s your vice? 

Here’s the caveat… 

As with all principles, your results are based on how well you operate in line with them. This means that especially at the level of instinctive awareness, if you are practicing negative behaviors, you will undoubtedly reap negative results. 

These are basically the 4 forms of awareness; as I said, you may categorize them differently; however, these are they. 

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The Natural Law of Choice & Result

It is an absolute that there are natural laws – universal principles that exist and act in our lives whether we believe it or not. These are no different than the law of gravity which basically says that what goes up must come down unless you remove gravity from the environment. 

As it pertains to our personal growth, it is imperative that we are aware of, understand and apply these principles in our lives. The pinnacle of success is achieved only when we adhere to natural laws. 

This article focuses on the natural law of Choice & Result. The absolute of this universal principle is that every choice has a specific end result. To the degree that you understand this natural law and how it applies to your personal growth, the results you achieve will reflect the same. 

The goal then is to help you properly define Choice and Result and then understand its most effective application in your life and for your personal growth.

 

The Meaning of Choice

While choice by definition means preferences, selection and options, I wanted to broaden its scope by delving even deeper. Choice at its very core; the spirit of it is truly about alternatives, abundance, possibilities and pro-activity. 

To take it a step further, choice is a responsibility; it centers on our ability to choose (select) our responses in any given situation. It is about being proactive in all that we do. This is why Choice is the Ultimate Power. 

The mere fact that we all have choices is indicative of the infinite possibilities that we can never exhaust. The examples of this principle are numerous. 

Who knew that the Internet would connect billions of people around the world in common bonds? What about Google? Who knew such a simple interface would have the power to help you find what you want when you wanted it – all in a virtual space? The list goes on and on and on… you can never exhaust it. 

This is the true meaning of choice.

 

The Meaning of Result

A result is the effect of a choice; it is the outcome caused by a decision that has been made. In the interest of broadening the scope of the word even further; a result is the consequence of a possibility. 

Yes, I am oversimplifying; however, I want you to get a simple point. The point is that results are not accidents; they are directly linked to choices. Even when we do not mean for something to happen and it happens any way, this result is due to a choice that was made. 

We may call it an accident and that’s fine for context; however, it is important to understand that a different choice would have produced a different result. In this vein, it is plain to see that we have the ultimate power to affect the results we achieve by making the right choices to do so. 

Simply put, there are no accidents. Every situation is precipitated by choices whether you believe it or not or whether you are aware of it or not. The fact that you are ignorant does not mean that the principle is not at play.

 

The Principle of Choice

I have written about choice extensively; still, I constantly get bombarded with comments and opposing arguments regarding my stance on choice as the ultimate power. The fact is that choice is a principle; it exists whether you believe it or not. It is always working whether you are aware of it or not. 

Choice precipitates thoughts and actions; it is where the party begins. 

OK… I’m going to attempt to anticipate all the questions, comments and resistance to this belief. Of course whether you believe me or not is absolutely irrelevant since principles merely exist and operate without bias and in a timeless vortex. 

There are 4 different mindsets to making choices; this is where I believe most of the confusion lies. Most individuals don’t even know the difference.

 

1.      Unconscious Incompetence

These are the choices we make in total and complete ignorance. We have no clue that other possibilities even exist so we just take whatever options are handed to us. This is the state of mind when you don’t know what you don’t know; nonetheless, you are still making choices. A choice to be ignorant though foolish is still a choice.

 

2.      Conscious Incompetence

In this state of mind at least you do have an understanding that you don’t know everything and more importantly that there are other possibilities. You still aren’t in a frame of mind to make the best choices; however, this is a good place to make new discoveries. You have made the choice not to be an ignorant moron. 

 

3.      Conscious Competence

In this mindset, you have elevated your game to making proactive choices to learn and grow. You completely understand that there are other possibilities. Furthermore, you believe that your success comes from the choices that you make and so you begin to practice and develop good habits. You are now aware that you don’t know squat and more importantly you are completely open to learn and discover new ways of doing things. You now understand that practice makes perfect.

 

4.      Unconscious Competence

This is the pinnacle of the ultimate power of choice; in this mindset, proactivity is now a habit; you are this way even when you sleep. Your choices are grounded in correct principles and you have high self value. Of course you are still learning new things; however, the habits that you have mastered are now a part of your DNA. 

Your choices surrounding these values you hold dear are now on automatic pilot. This is where the strength of your character becomes predictable which provides you a solid reputation for saying what you mean and doing what you say. You now consistently achieve the results you desire. 

These are the 4 mindsets of making choices; whether you believe it or not, you are in one of these mindsets each time you make a choice. I know that I have been in all 4 of them; I also know that I am in mindset 3 and 4 more often than not these days. Can you say the same? 

I am not saying this to brag; I am saying it because I believe that it is important that you understand choice and how it applies to your life and your personal growth. We are always making choices so make sure you are in the right mindsets when you make yours.

 

The Principle of Result

Since choice is a principle, then it stands to reason that the effect of choices is also a principle – results. Achieving the results you desire depend almost entirely upon the choices you make. 

Stephen R. Covey puts it this way… 

We have no control over 10% of the things that happen to us because those result from the choices other people make. The other 90% of what happens to us is based on how we respond to the 10%. 

Simply put, while 10% of the things that happen to us are out of our control, the other 90% certainly is based on how we handle that 10%. This is known as the 90/10 principle. 

There are 3 different types of results we can achieve.

1.      Monotonous

Monotonous results are repetitious and same; they usually include making the same choices over and over again while expecting different results. This is of course the definition of insanity; still, many individuals fall into this trap constantly. These types of results are most likely the product of the level 1 mindset of choice – unconscious incompetence. It can also occur in the level 2 mindset if you have not yet reached the threshold of pain for your particular situation. 

The fact is that people don’t change until the need for change becomes self-evident so monotony is something you are likely to experience in your results until you choose to change.

 

2.      Unexpected

These are the “accidents” of the world; the results you do not plan for. Although unexpected, they are still precipitated by choice. While these results can occur at any mindset level, it is much easier to grasp and adapt when you completely understand choice. An unexpected result occurs when you make a choice in the hopes of achieving one thing and end up achieving something different.

The fact that you ended up with unwanted or unexpected results does not negate the fact that had you not made the choices you did, you would not have achieved the results you did. Unexpected results are not necessarily bad and are infinitely good if you can always find the lesson or wisdom within them.

 

3.      Expected

These are the results that you do plan for; your choices are deliberate in these instances. When you achieve the results you desire, it is due to a series of choices that you made purposely to do so. 

For the most part expected results happen when choices are made in the level 3 and 4 mindset. In these mindsets, you begin your journey at the finish line and then take the appropriate steps to achieve the vision and the mission. With a strong focus on the goal and diligence in execution, deriving expected results becomes – well – more expected. 

These are the 3 types of results that you can achieve. Whether you believe it or not, you achieve these results based on the choices that you make. Your mindset level when making the choices will greatly influence the type of results you achieve. 

The Natural Law of Choice & Result is constantly at work – nonstop – and unbiased. These are universal principles that do not break or change – they merely exist and operate whether we believe that they do or not. 

Take a hard look at your own life and situation; examine your own personal growth challenges and I am sure that if you are honest with yourself, you will realize the power in understanding the principles of choice and result.

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A Life without Enemies

At first glance, you might think the title of this article is over-reaching. You might even think it a bit naive. I admit I used to think the same. My experience though has taught me that living a life without enemies is actually the easy part; the hard part is grasping and accepting the thought process that governs it.

 

Do you have those in your life you consider enemies? Does anyone you know consider you to be an enemy? What would it mean to you if at the very least you knew of a way to minimize these instances in your life?

 

If you find that this would be valuable insight for you or someone you know, I invite you to settle in and read on.

 

Firstly, it is important to understand where our enemies come from. Get ready... it's kind of a whopper. Ready? Ok... 
  

We create our own enemies... yes that's right. There are no enemies that we have that we do not create. It is our perception of people and circumstances that create our greatest enemies. Once you can digest this simple truth, it will be easier for you to understand the attitude required to change it.

 

You can change your world whenever you wish by simply changing yourself. In fact, it is impossible for you to change your world or the world at large without first changing yourself.

 

To live an enemy-free life, there are 2 factors that must be addressed in sequence.

1.    The Enemy Within

We are our worst enemy; we do more damage to ourselves than any person or circumstance ever can. Since we have the power to control our thoughts, attitude and actions, we have the power to either inflict great harm or incredible good.

 

This being said, the first enemy we have to deal with on the road to a life without enemies is the enemy within. Improving upon the following 3 elements will have a profound and positive impact on your success in this area.

 

·         See the best in you

It is important that you do not allow your mind to work against you. Look for the best things in you at all times. Even when you fail to reach a goal, instead of focusing on the failure itself, focus on what you did well. After that, turn your attentions to the possible lessons you can learn. Never categorize a failure as you... it's just an event not you.

 

Instead, learn and grow from the things that did not work and realize that the fact that you tried your best is always enough. Also, the whole point of learning is to try again so that you can apply your new knowledge.

 

If you can practice to always see the best in yourself, it will clear your mind of unnecessary negative thoughts. Whenever your little voice starts getting down on you - just pause and tell it to STOP and then change your thoughts to be more positive. Learn to have positive conversations with yourself. Do it in your mind, in front of the mirror or out loud; whatever works best for you - just do it.

 

·         See the best in others

Just as you practice to see the best in you, do the same for others. When you consistently seek the best in others, you remain open to infinite possibilities. Never assume anything or allow your preconceptions to rule your choices. Take the proactive stance to purposely look for the best in others.

 

This does not mean that you are naive and that you turn a blind eye to people's shortcomings. It simply means that you spend most of your energy on the things that make them better people. Surely, you may know someone whom you think has no redeeming qualities; it is especially in these instances that this practice is important. In these cases you must look beyond a person's past, accept his/her present and project genuine hope for that person's future confident in the fact that this person still has the choice to change.

 

If you can truly think of it in this manner, you will always be able to see the best in others even when they do not see it in themselves.

 

Someone once asked Mother Teresa if she would attend an anti-war rally to which she humbly replied "No, but I would attend a peace rally." Now I am certainly no Mother Teresa; however, I am sure you can see the incredible power in changing your perception of a situation. It may be a mere play on words but how profound and impactful for your attitude.

 

·         Confess your own sins

Too often we spend way too much time confessing other people's sins and not our own. Other people's sins are none of your business; it is an area of concern that you cannot change. This is why it is vital that you focus on your sins so that you can change yourself. In fact, if you have any hope at all of influencing someone else to change, again, you have to first change yourself. Only through consistent work on yourself can you influence others to change.

 

The enemy within is at constant work telling you to blame the other guy when things go wrong. It will always lead you to believe it is someone else's fault causing you to expend your energy bashing others. Whenever you find this is happening, focus on what you might have done to create the situation and aim to do better next time.

 

Be accountable for your own sins – they are yours and unless you own them you will be unable to work on them. If you cannot work on your own sins, the enemy within will consistently get the best of you.

 

2.  The Enemy Without

The enemy without becomes much easier to manage once you are successfully managing the enemy within. You might consider someone an enemy if they've deliberately tried to hurt you or cause you ill will. You might also consider someone an enemy if they have expressed dislike for you or if you find yourself in a constant battle or tug of war with this person.

 

The first thing to accept in these instances is that these individuals will appear to you in the way you see them. Your perception governs your thoughts and actions towards this person. Even if it is true that this person wishes you harm, changing your perception of this person can remove the enemy mentality from the picture.

 

Again, it's not about naivety, it's about how you view the person. It is about what you choose to focus on about this individual whether they can see what you see or not. How you choose to view someone does not negate your choice of how you relate to them; it simply opens up more possibilities for positive exchanges.

 

Improving upon the following 5 elements will undoubtedly have a profound and positive impact on your success in managing the enemy without.

 

·         Make no assumptions

Although it easy to do, it is important that you make no assumptions about someone. Be proactive and assess a person for yourself. Whether from a distance or close up, it is important that you evaluate a person from your point of view. Even when you have credible sources of information, these should only serve as references to help improve upon your own observations. Often times you will find that what works or is true in one instance is completely different in another.

 

If you make assumptions, you automatically close yourself off to any other possibilities. Remember that the other person may also be making assumptions about you so be different. Go in with an open mind and a genuine intent to learn and you will find other people far more accommodating and cordial.

 

·         Seek Understanding

It is definitely true that we often fear what we don't understand. Instead of embracing our differences, we put them down. It is important that you seek first to understand others before asking the same in return.

 

If you genuinely want to understand someone else, he/she will recognize and hold you in high regard for that. Just think of what it feels like to you whenever you feel that you've been understood. Now seek to convey the same to others.

 

If you can practice this you will discover that people are much more receptive to your position.

 

·         Embrace differences

The very things that make us unique are the things that should bring us together and not drive us apart. We may all have different beliefs and ways of life; however, deep down we are all the same. We all seek acceptance, appreciation and approval. When you can truly embrace the differences between you and others, you will immediately open dialogue, exchange of ideas rather than conflict and rivalry.

 

Our differences are to be cherished not feared. We can learn a whole lot more from each other by simply opening our minds to our greatness. We all have within us a universe of greatness waiting to be unleashed. The more we encourage it, the more fruitful and positive our relationships.

 

If you can truly cherish the differences in others, your pool of enemies will quickly shrink while your pool of allies quickly grows.

 

·         No protraction

Any protracted negativity will only escalate animosity and corrosive behaviors. Do not prolong negative exchanges; instead try to put things in a positive frame. Even when the truth hurts, it goes over much better if you can frame it positively.

I am not saying you should sugar-coat or offer fluff - I am simply saying use sensitivity when delivering tough messages.

 

Do not engage in “tit for tat” shenanigans; these equate to taking a reactive stance. Instead, take a proactive stance and address the root problem. Look for win/win solutions; if for some reason you are unable to reach a consensus then your best move is to walk away. This way, although you won't be playing together in the same sandbox, you will still both be happy that you both have your own sandboxes without fear the other will drop a bomb on it. 
  

·         Offer Friendship

Sometimes the easiest way to lose an enemy is to gain a friend. There is no reason you can't turn an enemy into a friend by simply offering friendship.

 

It won't necessarily always work and not every situation would warrant such a move; however, in the event that it does - just offer friendship. A good friend is better than a bad enemy any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

 

It may be as simple as asking, "Can we be friends?" The answer may shock you.

 

Now, do not misconstrue this as a mere holier than thou attempt to rid the world of conflict and usher in world peace; although, it’s not a bad idea.

 

This is simply a guide to building more bridges than walls among each other. The undeniable truth is that it takes way more energy to keep enemies than friends. When you have more enemies, you have to expend more time, energy and resources watching your ass – I mean six.   

Conversely, when you have more friends, you have a willing army watching your rear already so you don’t even have to focus on it. With more friends, you expend way less energy, time and resources on negative crap and instead focus on things that create and distribute more value.

 

If you still believe that enemies are necessary, consider this…

 

No matter whom you are or your station in life, true success cannot be achieved alone. Without others, true success and maximum potential cannot be realized. If your world is full of enemies, whom will help you and how will you ever achieve success?

 

Ponder but a moment and realize the infinite possibilities of having friends.

 

See you in the winner’s circle. 
 

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How to Overcome Stagnation

Ever feel stuck – like you’re going nowhere in life? Ever felt like everyone and everything is just passing you by? Does it make you feel powerless? 

Many, if not all, of us have had this feeling at some point in our lives; this is often referred to as Stagnation. It is what happens when you reach a point in your life where you feel unsure of what you want to do and where you want to go. As a result, you don’t move at all – neither backwards nor forwards. Needless to say, this can be quite frustrating and dejecting. 

The BIG question is what you do about it when it happens. How do you overcome Stagnation? 

If you’ve ever felt stuck, this article will help to raise your awareness to the symptoms and provide some valuable insights of how you can beat this success-debilitating disease.

 

Symptoms of stagnation

• Lack of focus – this is one of the first conditions that strike when stagnation sets in; you lose your center and begin to feel scattered in your thoughts. You no longer have a grasp of what you are doing or where you are going; your goal seems far away and blurry. 

• Indecisiveness – with lack of focus there is always indecision and confusion; every choice seems way too risky or impossible. You are unable to make good decisions because you don’t even know what your target is.

• Doubt – this is a major roadblock in any success plan; when you lack belief, it’s very difficult to achieve the results you desire. If you do not possess the confidence to move forward, you will be unable to accomplish your goals. Doubt can easily paralyze you.

• Hopelessness – where there is doubt, soon follows the lack of hope for the future. Stagnation demands that you are devoid of all hope of success – no aspiration for something greater than yourself. 

• Cynicism – all these symptoms breed negativity in a BIG way. When you are stagnant, it is easy to start believing that good things only happen to certain people but not to you. It also makes you skeptical of everyone else’s success; it makes you feel like only the lucky ones get the prize but poor saps like you get royally screwed by everyone and everything.

• Depression – ultimately, once you’re experiencing all the above, you tend to be down way more often than you’re up. You lack the energy and the desire to do anything progressive. Depression makes you feel like you don’t even want to bother trying. This is the ultimate success killer and it can really take you down if you are unaware of its presence. It can happen in mini bouts; these are the ones you have to be very careful of. 

You may see these symptoms categorized differently but these are basically the 6 major ones to be aware of. Once you understand the symptoms of stagnation, it will be easier for you to recognize when it is happening to you. This way, you can put a stop to it sooner rather than later – or before it is too late. 

How about a cure for this terrible affliction? 

My experience is that there are basically 5 ways you can overcome stagnation. Any one or a combination of these valuable practices will help alleviate your stuck-ness.

 

1.    Re-evaluate your core values

When stagnation sets in, one of the first things you should do is make sure that your core values are in tact. This is a good time to review your principles – the way you live your life. Make sure that the values you live by are still the ones you want to continue living by. 

More importantly, make sure that you have been living a life that is in line with your core values. More often than not, your core values are in good shape; however, the way you have been living may have fallen out of line. 

Be honest with yourself; look hard at the choices that you’ve made. Remember that you have what you have and you are where you are because of the choices that you’ve made. The reason to study this is to pinpoint those choices that were made without consulting your blueprint – your core values. 

We’ve all made decisions like this one – I know I have. It is usually the emotional and impulsive decisions. The point of this exercise is to understand that you made these choices and that you can live with the consequences. Furthermore, you can learn from the outcome of those choices. That is why we make mistakes – so we can learn and grow from them. 

The fact is that if you make it a point to re-evaluate your core values from time to time; you can possibly ward off stagnation all together.

 

2.  Redefine your mission

Another step to overcoming stagnation is to redefine your mission. Often times we hit roadblocks because we lose sight of the goal. Somewhere along the way to the target, we fall off track. This is perfectly normal – you can’t predict every occurrence; however, you can be prepared for anything by being proactive. 

Review your mission to make sure that it is still what you want to achieve. Make sure that your intent is in line with that mission. Sometimes our intent changes on the journey; something else becomes more important than the mission you started out to accomplish. That is also ok – just make sure that your mission still lights a fire in your belly. 

Your mission defines the goal and drives the actions you must take to achieve it. If this is not crystal clear then your actions will be equally muddled. It will be difficult for you to achieve the results you desire if you are not absolutely certain about your intent.

 

3.  Change your mission

If you attempt to redefine your mission and find that it is no longer what you desire; perhaps it’s time to consider changing it. This is often difficult for people to do because they view it as starting over. 

The main thing to realize in this case is that changing your mission is moving forward and not backward. Whenever you move on to something new and especially if it’s better – this is making progress. Sometimes in order to achieve our goals, we have to completely change our mission. 

This goes back to the scenario of something else becoming more important than the mission you initially set out to accomplish. Remember that sometimes, it takes one road to lead you to the road of your true purpose. It’s ok for one mission to run its course in your life so that you can embark on a newer and greater challenge. 

There was a time in my life when all I wanted to be was a rapper/producer and I was heavily involved in the music industry. I truly loved what I was doing. After that I discovered my love for public speaking and ultimately creating this blog which led me to my true purpose in life. My mission has changed a few times; however, my ultimate goal has always been to help others grow; to find their voice. I have sought to do that in all my roles thus far and this is what I truly enjoy. 

I hope that made the point for you.

 

4.  Change your circle

Many times, the people we choose to hang out with is the reason we feel held back; causing stagnation in our lives. This is definitely a hard one; however, sometimes you just have to change your circle. 

In some cases it could simply mean that you change the way you interact with someone. In others, though it may seem harsh, it may be time to end the relationship all together. This is especially difficult when you truly like or love someone. My experience is that although this is hard, when the choice is made for the right reasons with the right intent, it has always been worth it. 

I have been here a couple of times so I appreciate the emotional difficulty of this situation – I truly empathize. 

The point is that there are times in our lives when our friends are not moving in the same direction we are and in order to achieve our goals, we simply have to go our own way. Stagnation often envelops the people you are most often with. If your choices are often tied to your circle, make sure your circle is aligned with your true desires otherwise you will have to move on at some point if you want to cure your stagnation.

 

5.  Take a different route

Detour ahead… sometimes it is as simple as taking that left turn at Albuquerque. (If you didn’t get that… go watch Bugs Bunny) 

Sometimes the cure for stagnation is simply to go in a different direction. Perhaps the way you’ve been going has too many roadblocks and you may just need to turn left instead of right. Many times, this opens up new avenues of pursuit that propel you to your goal. 

There is no rule that says you can’t change route mid-stride; it is your journey and you can get to your destination any way you choose. The path of least resistance is always best, just ask Deepak Chopra. 

The point is when life throws you a curve; you should take it because if you keep going straight you’ll probably crash into something solid like a brick wall. 

Seriously, don’t be afraid to change directions; another route may be the thing you need to get you out of the mud. 

Now that you know the cure… what are you going to do about it?

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How to Increase Your Personal Power

Personal Power; we all have it whether we realize it or not. Those who are keenly aware of it and understand its purpose utilize and grow it consistently. Highly effective individuals possess a zealous sense of their personal power. Those who are unaware of it and whom do not understand its purpose consistently give away or allow others to rob them of their personal power. 

My experience has been that the more in tuned you are with your Personal Power, the more pristine your clarity and the more effective and impactful the results you achieve. The goal of this article is to raise your awareness and increase your understanding of your own Personal Power and what it means to your success.

 

What is Personal Power?

First, let’s define what we are talking about.

Personal Power is the ability to master your fate by choosing to lead and direct your life from the inside-out. In this vein, your value system is your compass by which you move; while people and circumstances may influence you, only your choices based on the set of principles that you live by determine your actions.

 

Develop Keen Self-awareness

In order to fully exercise your personal power, you must first seek to increase your self-awareness. You must know thy self. If you do not know yourself – what makes you tick; it will be difficult for you to increase your power. Knowing who you are and what you stand for are crucial elements to succeeding in this area. 

Following is a mini-guide to help you better understand what I’m driving at when I say seek self-awareness. 

• Develop a Personal Mission Statement – this basically means that you work on outlining your purpose in life. What are your unique abilities that you will utilize to add value to the people around you – to the world? How do you create and distribute value through your true gifts and talents? 

• Lean on your strengths – all of us have certain qualities and abilities where we excel. These are the characteristics we display most often and/or the abilities that cause us to stand apart from most. It is important that you hone in on these qualities and abilities and use them to enhance your journey and your growth, thereby increasing your personal power. 

• Admit and work on your shortcomings – many individuals cannot admit let alone endeavor to work on their shortcomings. Do not waste your time making excuses for yourself or justifying your shortfalls. Instead, own them and seek new ways to improve upon them. Looking for ways to grow and change and improve yourself in any way already puts you light years ahead of the game in increasing your personal power.

• Let your core values guide you – especially at the times when you face tough choices, fall back on your core values. If your decisions are not in line with your core values, choose a path that is. The more you do this, the more your power and influence will increase because you are firm in your beliefs. If you simply knock about at the behest of the winds that blow, you will become wayward and misdirected. Your core values – your principles – are your compass by which you should make all decisions. 

• Do what is true for you – this is so powerful; the best way to be at peace with your decisions is by first accepting the consequences of your choices. As long as you do what is right and true for you, learn to live with the consequences. If you can do this more often than not, you will experience a profound and positive shift in your personal power. All choices come with a consequence – positive or negative. If your values are grounded in correct principles, you should see way more positive than negative consequences.

 

Dispel the illusion of complete control

Many individuals often believe that they are in complete control of every circumstance and even the people in their lives. Even when they say that they don’t believe that, they often act like it. I know I have. 

C’mon, admit it – there is a control freak somewhere inside of you and you know it. The fact is though that we are not in complete control of all that is in our private world. In fact, we only have control over one thing and one thing only – ourselves. 

That’s right; you can only control you. The way you affect changes is to first work on yourself and you affect others and circumstances as your influence grows. Once you begin to understand this concept, your mind opens up to new possibilities. You have to realize that different things move people; there are many choices at play all around you. You must learn to simply focus on your choices and your actions; this is how you increase your personal power and influence. 

If you focus on controlling other people and circumstances, it tends to be easier for you to lose control of the one thing that you actually control – YOU. What we do have is the power to influence other people and circumstances through the choices we make. When you understand the principle, you can quickly see that your main goal is to focus on your personal growth in order to increase your circle of influence. 

Complete control is an illusion – forget about it. Just focus on controlling you and your circle of influence will grow to the degree that you grow personally.

 

Focus on what you can change and influence

What you can change are you, your circumstance and thus your station in life. These are the things that you can choose to act on and make changes. Your personal power grows each time you achieve success in one of these three areas of growth. 

What you can influence are the people and circumstances around you. Essentially, focusing on changing yourself and circumstances first will automatically expand your range of influence. The more successful you are at improving yourself, the more influence you will command.

First seek to improve your personal growth and achieve your goals. With a clear picture of your desires in mind, act on helping others through your gifts and talents to find what they truly desire. If you can create and distribute value through what you do and as you grow, your personal power will increase. 

The point is to make you aware that spending energy on things that merely concern you is a waste of time. Things that only concern you are usually the things that you cannot change and/or over which you have no influence. It is ok to have concerns as long as they do not drive your actions. If your concerns are driving your choices, it will impede your growth and hamper your personal power. 

The fact is that the more you concentrate and changing yourself and influencing the people and circumstances around you, the more your personal power will increase. Also, when your power increases, things that once existed in your circle of concern will begin falling into your circle of influence where you can effectively affect them. 

If you find this the least bit confusing, think of it this way… 

You are the catalyst in all things you desire to achieve. If you can focus on your own growth, your area of influence will grow much more quickly and you will be able to affect change in areas you once could not. Real change occurs from the inside-out and your personal power grows in the same way.

 

Stand on your core values

To stand on anything other than your core values is like standing in quicksand. You will eventually sink. 

This does not mean that you do not value others’ points of view; it simply means that you make your choices based on whether or not they align with your core values. If what someone else believes is not in line with your core values then my recommendation is that you do not follow. 

The hardest thing to do is to stand on your core values when the odds are against you. This is also the time that it matters most; when it seems you stand alone. The truth is that you are never alone when you have good core values to back you up. It may hurt to do it sometimes in the short run; however, my experience is that the pain has always been worth it in the long run. 

Your core values – your principles – are the compass that guides you. These are what help you to make good decisions. They can easily clear up confusion because they are (or should be) clearly defined. 

Your core values are the blueprint to how you live and how you make your choices. When the chips are down, this is where you should be looking before you make tough choices. This way, no matter what happens, you are able to look in the mirror and smile back at yourself knowing that you made the right decision. 

While others may influence you and have a positive impact on your life – your choices are based on your core values. If you are unsure about what your core values are, my recommendation would be to take some time to figure that out. You may start here with this article.

 

Empower others to increase their personal power

As Stephen R. Covey puts it “Help others to find their voice.” 

One of the most effective ways to increase your personal power is to help others increase theirs. This means that you share your knowledge and experience with others. 

There are so many individuals searching for a new way – a new beginning – and an empowering word or two from you might be the difference they’ve been waiting for. To keep your knowledge and experience to yourself is not only selfish but also self-defeating. You learn so much more when you share what you know and furthermore, you open up space for more knowledge to enter. 

The more you teach, the more you learn; the more you share, the more you grow. The more you grow, the more your personal power increases. This also goes back the expansion of your range of influence. Think about the ripple effect of having a positive impact on just one human being if each person only shared with one other person. Your circle of influence increase more than 1,000 fold each time you share your knowledge and experience with someone else. 

When you help others to find their voice, you ultimately find yours. It is a natural law – a universal principle. 

Remember that the more you can increase your personal power, the greater the impact you can make on the world. The difference we make while we are here is the legacy we leave behind for the next generation. 

What do you want yours to be? 

 

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How to Remove Personal Growth Limitations

There are no limitations except for the ones we place on ourselves. Limits are man-made control mechanisms that have been hardwired into our systems for far too long and with damaging effects. The good news is that history is filled with great examples of those that have stood firm in the belief and principle that there are no limits but those that we make up. 

At one time, no one ever thought man could fly until the Wright brothers built the first flying machine. There was a time when no one thought man could climb Mount Everest until Sir Edmund Hillary proved the world wrong. There are all sorts of limits that have been placed, or rather, misplaced on us; and yet great individuals like Barak Obama continue to shatter those limitations day after day. 

Why do we place limits on ourselves? Why do we hinder our personal growth and development by putting up invisible and seemingly immovable walls? Why do we live in a free society and yet live the lives of confined creatures? 

The purpose of this article is to help you remove these barriers; to rid yourself of doubt and to quell all the excuses of why you are unable to grow beyond a certain point. The goal is to raise your level of awareness about your ultimate power so that you can quickly abandon the whining, bitching and complaining and start living the incredible life your were meant to live. 
  

Recognize and Understand Personal Growth Limiters

Personal growth limiters, like all limiters, are the stories we make up in our minds as to why we can’t do or achieve something. The problem arises when you are not aware that they are present in your life. Most of us walk around in complete ignorance, or what one of my mentors calls “unconscious incompetence” with regard to our self-limiting behaviors and attitudes. 

When you are unconsciously incompetent, you are unable to even recognize what you are doing let alone why. The key is to be aware of how these personal growth limiters show up in your life. Following are a few examples of the forms in which they may appear.

1. Justification – we can do this without even thinking; it’s the classic defense mode we go into when our position, performance or values are challenged. The posture is reactive and we begin to rationalize (tell rational lies) our words, actions and perspectives. Justification limits your growth because it closes you off from learning anything new. 

2. Excuses – this is also a popular mode of self-limiting behavior. Instead of owning and learning from our mistakes, we make excuses for them. If you cannot admit your mistakes, you will never be able to truly learn from them. If you can’t learn from your mistakes, you cannot change and grow. Your personal growth will stifle. 

3. Cynicism – this is how we fill ourselves with and spread doubt to those around us. Cynicism causes you to believe everything is just too good to be true; that if someone achieves some level of success, it must be shear luck. All of this is just to make you feel better about living under a rock or in a cave like a hibernating bear. 

4. Baggage – all of us have skeletons in our closets; I have tons. The key is to remember that your past is just that, the past. It does not determine your future. What often happens is that individuals refuse to put down or let go of past baggage. In some cases, people actually feel guilty if they let go of it believing that somehow it’s supposed to remain a part of them due to some twisted sense of sentiment. Nothing that limits your growth deserves a place in your life – NOTHING! 

There are certainly other personal growth limiters that I can list here or that you can come up with yourself. The point is that the ultimate limiter is YOU. No matter what you think the limitation is, you control how it acts in your life. You place it and you can remove it.

 

Own your mistakes

Don’t make excuses for your mistakes – own them. If you can admit when you’ve made an error, you will be able to learn from it and adapt much more quickly. When you continuously dodge the responsibility, you remain in ignorance – in unconscious incompetence. 

If you don’t even know what you don’t know, how can you learn and grow from where you are? It will be impossible for you to achieve any level of success in your personal growth if you simply hide from your mistakes and make excuses. 

Instead of making excuses, ask questions like, what went wrong? What can I do differently or better next time? Do I need more resources or information? All of these questions will help you grow because if you are seeking answers, you are seeking growth. 

Consider this… 

There are no truly successful individuals without the foundation of failures on which their success is built. A major difference between winners and losers is that winners own and learn from their mistakes.

 

Let go of the past

Your past, no matter how horrible, does not determine your future. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been taught or conditioned to believe, you can choose to rewrite the script for your future. 

Let me put it this way… 

Sometimes when I conduct workshops or deliver presentations, I ask the audience the following 4 questions as taught to me by the incomparable Zig Ziglar. 

1. Is there something specific that you can do in the next 2 weeks that can make your personal and professional life worse? 

2. Is there something specific that you can do in the next 2 weeks that can make your personal and professional life better? 

3. Do you believe that the choice is yours?

4. Do you believe that every choice has an end result? 

Usually when I ask these questions, 99.99% of the people in the room will answer yes to all four. Read the questions again; if you can answer yes to all four, here’s what you’ve basically said whether you realize it or not. 

I don’t really care what has happened in my past; I don’t even care what my circumstances are right now. I know that there is something specific that I can do in the next 2 weeks that can make my personal and professional life better or worse and the choice is mine. 

What an incredible realization? When you break it down this way, it is crystal clear that your past does not determine your future. The choices you make today are what will determine your tomorrow. 

Your past becomes a personal growth limiter when you refuse to let it go. You have to purge past events that impede your growth in order to move forward. Now, I am not naïve; I know that it can be hard to shed the past sometimes – even excruciating. Here’s the deal though… 

Whether you do it alone, seek help from a mentor or join a group, if you don’t purge past events that hamper your thoughts, behaviors and attitudes, your personal growth will suffer. Don’t let the fact that it might be hard to do stop you – in that too you certainly have the power to choose. 

Your past does not determine your future; however, it can certainly limit your personal growth. 

 

Value the present

Placing high value on the present is vital to your personal growth and development. This is because your future will be determined by the choices you make in the present. While tomorrow is not determined by what happened yesterday, it is most certainly determined by what happens today. 

Here’s why you should place high value on the present – on what you do today. 

Stephen Colbret, comedian and talk show host, once led a roast of then President George W. Bush. During that roast he sarcastically chided the president about the reasons for going to war with Iraq. Basically, he recounted that the main reasons were suspicion of harboring terrorists as well as hoarding weapons of mass destruction. 

After numerous inspections, no evidence of either was found in Iraq; and yet we went to war anyway. Now here’s the punch line… 

Stephen Colbret went on to say that he appreciated the president’s determination and bullheadedness because he’s a man that believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday, no matter what happened on Tuesday.  

This is no knock against former President George W. Bush; however, the analogy holds true. You can change your stars whenever you choose. You don’t have to believe that what happened in the past is going to direct your choices for your future. 

In order to achieve success in your personal growth, you must be willing to believe something else; to believe in change. From this point forward, you must be willing to make different choices; ones that you truly believe will best help you achieve what you truly desire. 

Your present choices are all that matter where your future is concerned; they will determine where you are and what you have tomorrow – guaranteed.

 

Have hope for the future

There is simply no point in investing in your personal growth if you have no real hope for the future. Why bother? 

Zig Ziglar puts it this way… 

“The salesperson that has no hope of making the sale doesn’t make the call. Why bother, he doesn’t believe he’s going to make the sale anyway.”

 

Having hope for the future is crucial to your personal growth. It is the fuel for your drive to succeed because you wake up everyday with a deep and abiding belief that you are heading for something greater than yourself. It’s about knowing that you have something of value to offer others; the world. 

There are no truly successful individuals whom do not have tons and tons of hope for the future. In fact, the future is what successful people think about when they plan; they don’t just think about the present, they think about future generations. This is how you make a difference – you must have hope for the future; a belief in a better world than the one you were born into. 

If you don’t believe that you’re going to do anything great; be anything of value to others or that the world can be better off for you having been in it, why would you care about your personal growth? You would have no reason to – you’re apathetic. 

You might as well be like the type of people John Mayer once sang about... you know the people who keep waiting on the world to change before they do all the while whining, bitching and complaining. 

You know, there’s a word for people who behave this way – Hypocrite! If you whine, bitch and complain about everything from your boss who doesn’t like you, to the co-worker trying to destroy you, to the negative news on television and the sex, drugs and violence on your DVD player – and yet you still do absolutely nothing to change it… Now that is a Hypocrite.  

The best way you can strengthen your hope for the future is to model the wise words of Mahatma Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

 

Believe in infinite possibilities

If you have true hope for the future, then you can certainly believe in infinite possibilities. Sometimes the thing that hampers our personal growth the most is our lack of belief in the possibilities. We are so hardwired to use words like “Can’t” or say things like “I don’t have much of a choice.” 

This type of thinking limits our personal growth tremendously. The fact is that whether you believe you can or you can’t, you are absolutely right. Belief is what produces results; actions are just the steps driven by the belief. To the degree that you believe in something, your actions will match in intensity and focus and the results you achieve will reflect the same. 

Possibilities are in fact endless. If you can tap into your true gifts and talents, you can unleash unimaginable creativity and tenacity that can usher in changes the world has yet to dream up. If this sounds too far fetched for you, consider this… 

We’ve put men on the moon, we’ve cloned animals; we created the Internet, we have Facebook addicts; my Dad is on Facebook; Twitter lets us tweet our life story to millions; we survived 9/11; Barak Obama is the first black president of the United States; Joan Rivers is 102 and looks 70; we watch movies is Imax theatres in 3D; Gene Rodenberry created Star Trek in the 1960s and we now have the ability to beam people up (OK, not really – not yet but it’s possible) 

Do you get the idea though? Nothing is impossible. I am being a bit facetious with my examples; however, the point is that at some point in history, most of the things I mentioned weren’t even a remote possibility in most people’s minds. Oh, I forgot to mention that Rod Sterling created the Twilight Zone in the 1950s and these episodes and characters still have major relevance today – absolutely genius. 

So, remove the limit from your personal growth; start believing in possibilities and know that they are endless. This is how you change you; this is how you change the world. Work on yourself, improve your personal growth and the rest will fall into place. 

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Choice, Change & Consistency – The 3 Cs of Personal Growth

There is a certain period in life that is widely accepted as the “finding yourself” period. This is the time when one is supposed to throw caution to the wind; do whatever feels right and somewhere along the way figure out what the hell you’re supposed to do with the rest of your life. 

Somehow, you are supposed to get hit with an epiphany of your calling. It’s as if the mindset is that if you just “be” and let things happen, everything will fall into place. Go with the flow – what will be will be – it is what it is – and all that jazz. 

I may come under serious fire for saying this but you know me… 

Finding yourself is a load of CRAP!   

There, I said it – and I’m not taking it back either. It’s too late anyway; cyberspace has a hold of it now so if I’m going to be toast then so be it. Got butter? 

That aside, my experience is that there are times in our lives when we aren’t sure of what our next step is and in order to make a decision – we experiment. Of course – who hasn’t? 

I realize that the term “finding yourself” is not really meant to be taken literally; however, it has certainly lost its true meaning. In fact, it is kind of an oxymoron since I don’t believe that you were lost in the first place. Finding anything requires that it must first be lost. What makes more sense is that we can GROW. 

The way we grow and change is completely up to us. Your personal growth is your responsibility and it will not happen if you just simply be. You have to do something about it otherwise you will remain stagnant. No deliberate actions no desired results – period. 

The goal of this article is to help you become keenly aware of the 3 Cs of personal growth – Choice, Change and Consistency. Without these 3 your personal growth cannot flourish the way you desire; they are essential to your success.

 

Choice

I am not going to speculate about how the first man/woman was born; however, it is no speculation that all things begin with Choice. Whether yours or others, when things are put into motion they happen in the sequence they do based on the choices that have been made. 

We are all the sum of our choices. You are where you are and have what you have because of the choices you have made. I know that many people don’t sit on the same side as I on this because of the misconception that lack of awareness negates choice. This could not be further from the truth. The fact that you may not know that you have other options does not negate the fact that in all things you must still make a choice. Even the decision to remain ignorant is a choice; perhaps not a good one for the most part but it is nonetheless – a choice. 

If you accept that your personal growth is your responsibility, you’ve already made a choice. Taking steps to improve it are just another series of choices that you have to make to see that you achieve the results you desire. 

There has also been the argument of environment, circumstances and parentage being the determining factors for your future. Again – this is a load of – well I’m sure you get the idea. 

Certainly who your parents, your environment and your circumstances all influence how you think and what you do; however, in no way do they determine. You are certainly free to make a choice to change your stars. It is not about whom your parents are – it’s about whom you are – what you want. Choice is what determines your future. 

If you don’t believe it – consider this… 

I’ve heard of a study conducted at a prestigious university about 100 of the world’s greatest leaders. Of the 100, 75% were found to have come from either an extremely impoverished background or had been stricken with some severe physical or mental defect. How would you explain the success these individuals were able to achieve? They didn’t just achieve personal success; these world class leaders literally changed the world. 

That is because they understood that leadership is a choice; that everything you are and everything you do are a true reflection of the choices that you make. Need I say more… ok then I will? 

How about high school football coach Charlie Wedemeyer; whom despite stricken with Lou Gehrig’s disease and being a quadriplegic led his team to a 14-12 championship victory in 1985. Although Charlie was no longer able to speak, he mouthed his instructions to his wife who told it to the assistant coaches who told it to the players. He did all this while laying flat on his back unable to move any part of his body except his eyes and his lips. What a remarkable display of will power and choice that is. 

Like I said – everything begins with choice and your personal growth won’t improve until you choose to improve it.

 

Change

With choice comes change – it’s automatic. When you choose to improve your personal growth, it is inevitable that there will be changes. You cannot grow unless you Change. You cannot change unless you choose to. 

It is impossible to achieve any level of growth without change first occurring. The very act of growing is in effect changing. No growth can take place at the same level of awareness prior to the growth. With awareness comes new thought and with new thought comes new action which begets change. 

There is a reason for changing seasons – it involves a cycle of growth and we receive a new cycle each year through the 4 seasons. In order to achieve the results you desire in your personal growth, you must be willing to change what you are doing today. You will be unsuccessful if you simply continue doing the same things and expect different results – that’s insanity. 

The most important thing to remember about change is that it happens with or without you. Just because you refuse to change doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Change is a principle – a constant – it doesn’t matter what you or anyone else does, it will simply exist – always.

 

Consistency

The last of the 3 Cs of personal growth is Consistency. The fact is that the more you continue to do something, the better you become at it. Continued growth requires consistent action day after day. No one is perfect so of course you will have your bad days. The key to your success is making sure that you have more good days than bad. 

My experience is that once you find a compelling reason to remain consistent, it gets easier; you begin to enjoy the journey. Find the fuel you need to propel you every day and it will become easier for you to maintain discipline. 

It is through consistency that we develop habits; make sure that you are consistent with the right things. Just like change, consistency is a principle and it is at work even when you aren’t. It merely exists and you will get from it what you feed it. If you feed it bad habits, you will consistently get bad results. 

Think of it this way…

There is a story of an old Eskimo who had 2 dogs – a black one and a white one. Every Saturday, the dogs would fight until they wore each other out and the last one standing would win. Some days the white dog won and on other days the black dog won. The interesting thing was that no matter which dog won, the old Eskimo always seemed to bet on the winner. One day, a young man asked the old Eskimo, “How is it that you are always able to bet on the winning dog week after week no matter which one wins?” The old Eskimo replied “Well that’s easy son, I just bet on the one that I had been feeding all week.” 
  

That’s an analogy I heard listening to Zig Ziglar and it makes perfect sense here. Basically, whatever you feed wins in the end. So, if you are going to be consistent make sure you are building the habits that will help you achieve the results you desire. Too often we spend time consistently feeding the wrong energy and then wonder why we don’t get the things we really want. 

It’s very simple; if you consistently feed negativity you will habitually get negative results. If you consistently feed positivity, you will habitually get positive results.

 

What do the 3 Cs mean to you?

That depends completely on your goals and your understanding of how these constants apply to your personal growth. 

In general I can say that these 3 Cs are vital to your personal growth. If you intend to achieve any success in the things you do, be prepared to make the 3 Cs conscious habits. Choices you are going to make no matter what you think; even if you believe that ignorance negates choice, it doesn’t matter. That is your CHOICE. 

The bottom line is that if the 3 Cs are not happening at some level in your life, it’s safe to say you aren’t growing either. That means your personal growth has now become your personal stagnation.

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Inspiration, Hope & Power – Powerful Principles of Awareness

What is it that motivates you to act? Are you keenly aware of who you are and why you do what you do? 

Many of us unfortunately are sleepwalking through life; we go to and fro as just another program within the matrix of planet earth. Those of us – YOU – who are keenly aware of who we – YOU – are know what it feels like to truly live life. 

Sleepwalkers tend to believe that they have no choice in their fate; it has already been written and they’re just playing the part. What they either don’t realize or have forgotten is that although they are playing the part, they are also directing it. You are the directors of your lives and as such you can rewrite the script at any time. YOU have the ultimate power to choose. 

In order to wake up the sleepwalkers to the lives they ought to be living, there are 3 principles of which they must become aware – Inspiration, Hope & Power. 

Following are my best insights on how understanding and utilizing these principles can positively and profoundly impact your life and your personal growth. 

Firstly, I want you to understand that even though I believe that 99% of people will never reach their full potential, 100% of us have within us the capability to do it. I hope that percentage doesn’t shock you coming from what is supposed to be a website aimed at growing others. The simple truth is that based on the information available as of the writing of this article, the vast majority of people do not take responsibility for their own personal growth. As much as I wish we all did – we don’t. 

That being said, I do believe that 100% of smart people have the ability and tenacity to live these incredible principles and do great things for themselves and others. 

For the select few still reading at this point, here’s how YOU can harness and consistently utilize these powerful principles. 

  

Inspiration

What is inspiration? Inspiration is that which motivates us to act. These are people, events or things that compel us to do something – to be something. All successful individuals are inspired people; some have many elements of inspiration in their lives. 

Without inspiration, it will be difficult to sustain a fire for anything. In each of us there is a place where only what inspires us can touch. In order to achieve success in your personal growth, you must aim to connect with the person, event or thing that can reach that place inside you. 

You must find the right reasons to roll out of bed and launch into the world day after day. Those who do not quickly become burn-outs; a shell of the person they used to be. Following are a few guidelines to get you started on finding that place inside where the fire is lit and you are motivated to act.

 

Find a mentor

A mentor can be any relative, friend, colleague or your perfect stranger that you wish to emulate. These are the types of individuals that make you say “man, I’d love to do things like he/she does.” Mentors are people that lead the kind of life that you’ve always dreamed of. Not necessarily for the accolades but for the fulfillment it gives them day after day. 

Mentors are welcomed intruders that you invite into your life to speak experience and wisdom into it; to tell you the truth no matter what. Your mentor is the person that always sees you for who you are today and also recognize the potential for who you can become. 

I myself have several mentors and following their example have brought nothing but positive and profound changes into my life. These role models make a huge impact when you live by their examples – they inspire you infinitely through their experiences and their wisdom. 

When choosing a mentor, make sure that this person is qualified to be your mentor. Choose wisely otherwise the price will be steep and you will quickly be right back where you started. Mentors are individuals you want to exemplify in every way so if you can’t commit to doing that with your choice – that may perhaps be the wrong choice, especially if you only have one. 

Another way to look at it is, if you have more than one mentors, as I do, you can exemplify one in one way and another in another way. The point is that you want to make sure you are emulating the right behaviors of the right people.

 

Cherish history

History can be a great teacher as well as provide tremendous inspiration. History reminds us of the price paid to live in the present and challenges us to build a better future. 

Is there a time in history that you find particular fascinating – that touched your core – made you think deeply? Can you remember a time in the past that made you feel gratitude for the present and that gave you drive to do greater things for the future? 

When I say cherish history, all I am saying is that history not only shows you the past but also the potential of the future. It is not meant for us to live it over and over but to take from it the rich experiences it offers. It behooves us to learn from it – adapt the extraordinary examples and crush injustice. 

History can provide unbelievable inspiration to build the best world of tomorrow.

 

Embrace new concepts

New concepts provide a platform for change; in change there is always some form of inspiration. It may not be for everyone but nonetheless it is there for those looking and for those it finds. 

A new concept might inspire you in one of two ways; either you will embrace it in agreement or embrace it in opposition. Either way, it can be a compelling reason to create action. 

Individuals who are open to inspiration are always looking for the new – for change. This is because inspired people are looking to make a difference; to leave a valuable mark on this plain. It will be difficult for inspiration to find you if you insist on remaining the same and doing the same things. You cannot change your state or your circumstances by doing the same things in the same way. 

To truly be inspired, seek out and embrace new concepts.

 

Hope

Where there is inspiration, there is hope. This is not the doubtful “I hope so” you often hear from most people. True hope is about a strong belief in a better tomorrow – a brighter future. 

True hope is what keeps the fire burning day after day and it is the fuel that allows you to overcome setbacks. Without hope, it is difficult for action to manifest to achieve your goals. 

Think of it this way… 

The salesman who has no hope of making the sale doesn’t make the call. Why bother? He doesn’t believe he’s going to make the sale anyway. 

A student who has no hope of passing the test does not study. Why bother? She doesn’t believe she’s going to pass anyway. 

The person who does not believe he can won’t try. Why bother? He doesn’t believe he’s going to succeed anyway. 

Are you getting the picture? 

Hope produces action; it gives rise to unbelievable creativity and tenacity because it is fueled by a strong belief in a better tomorrow. Without hope, life becomes on failed event after another and frustration and fatigue quickly ensue. Often the result is giving up and acceptance of mediocrity. 

If you have ever seen the movie The Shawshank Redemption , you know exactly what I mean when I talk about true hope. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend adding it to your collection. 

Essentially, one innocent man’s hope of living as a free man again took 18 years to come to fruition but he never lost sight of the goal. This is because he had “HOPE” the size of the universe and thus his fire stayed lit with each passing day no matter how horrible. He had a strong belief in a better tomorrow.

 

Power

Where there is hope, there is power. A strong belief in a better tomorrow produces tremendous power in the present. Since natural law dictates that we receive what we believe, it stands to reason that the power to achieve what you believe rests with the hope you have of achieving it. 

If you have no hope, where will the power to act come from? What will keep your fire burning and producing that infinite power to keep moving forward? 

True hope gives rise to true power because to the degree that you believe in a better tomorrow, your actions will reflect the same. In effect, the size of your hope will equal the size of your power output. 

When you become aware of your true power and begin to utilize it, you begin to move and change things with incredible success. Your choices are different – better – when you realize the ultimate power you possess to change the things you want to change in your life.

 

Power Principles of Awareness

Awareness is where change begins. What you are aware of you can act on; what you are unaware of acts on you. Harnessing and implementing these 3 powerful principles will undoubtedly raise your sense of awareness. You will become keenly aware of yourself, others and circumstances around you. Being keenly aware will help you to be more effective in influencing you, people and circumstances around you. 

Keen awareness brings you many more steps closer to success because your actions will be more acute and accurate when you are in the know.  

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How to Overcome Analysis Paralysis

Why is it that some people almost always seem to be moving forward while others seem constantly stuck in a rut? Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a rut? 

This happens to the best of us from time to time and that’s totally expected; the real conundrum is how to get out of the rut. 

Firstly, getting stuck in a rut can be caused by many different factors. From writer’s block to stumbling block, there are a myriad of conditions and situations that might bring them on. The objective of this article is to address one of the major factors of “getting stuck in a rut” and how to defeat it. 

Many individuals usually find themselves feeling trapped because of fear and the incapacity to take action. This person is usually plagued by indecisiveness and thought clutter which builds frustration and causes high anxiety. This individual is also most likely over-analyzing every situation in his/her life. 

This disease that afflicts so many is called Analysis Paralysis. 

Analysis Paralysis is a fear-driven disease that feeds on insecurity and ignorance. It is such a powerful immobilizer that it can literally keep people in a box curled up like a fetus incapable of making a move. 

The following are my best insights that can undoubtedly help you beat this terrible disease – AND – if you know someone else, who suffers from this disease, please do them the great service of sharing this post. 

Adopting the following 4 elements will help you overcome Analysis Paralysis.

 

1.  Accept the possibility of failure

Failure is nothing to fear; in fact, you should embrace it. Without failure, success could not exist. It is through our failures that we learn the most about how to succeed. There is always the possibility that you may not achieve the goal you set forth; however, it is nothing to fear. 

Instead, try letting go and enjoying the journey. Your success is largely dependent upon how you view your failures. If you beat yourself up each time you fall short of your goal; if you internalize your failures, it will be difficult for you to succeed. 

It is imperative that you understand that failure is an event, never a person. When you can do that, it will become much easier to accept the possibility that you may fall short of your goal and it’s totally ok. 

The truth is that it is far worst to do nothing than it is to try and fail. At the very least, you will learn something new when you’ve tried and failed. You will undoubtedly learn what not to do the next time around. Most great discoveries saw numerous failures before the brilliant stroke of success ever saw the light of day. 

Ask yourself, “What’s worse than failure?” How will you succeed at anything if you try nothing? That is most certainly worse than failure. If you can accept that all things are possible, then you can certainly accept that failure is one of those possibilities.

 

2. Learn from your failures

This is the key to turning all failures into new discoveries; you have to look for the lessons within them. There is so much you can learn by looking at your mistakes and your missteps. 

This is the reason why failures are events and not people – not you. You have the power to choose to learn from them instead of internalizing them which leads to dejection and frustration. The key is to understand the things that went wrong and why they did and then make adjustments the next time around. It is only when you give up that the failing event wins in your life. 

Remember that when things don’t work the way you expect them to, that is the universes way of helping you to grow. A new opportunity is born each time a failure occurs; it’s another chance to do something great. What most people do when they fail is give up; they blame everyone and everything under the son and this they completely miss the lesson. 

What happens after that is the fear-driven way of thinking – analyzing every move to death until no moves are made at all. You cannot grow and change by doing the same things and remaining the same way – it is impossible.

 

3. Stand on your core values

Analysis Paralysis feeds on insecurity, ignorance and indecisiveness. If you have strong core values – a set of principles that you strive to live by, stand on them. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or like you don’t know which way to go, allow your core values to point you in the right direction.

Chances are good that if you simply surrender to your core values, your decisions will yield far greater results. As long as your values are grounded in correct principles, you will reap excellent benefits. 

When you stand on what you truly believe in, you can do so with full acceptance of the consequences of doing so. The point is that you cannot allow confusion to win when it sets in; you can clear it up if you are crystal clear on your values.

 

4.Just do it

Be like Nike and just do it. Surely you can lay the best plans; do the most thorough research but at some point you have to dive in and test drive it. Just do it. What’s the worse that can happen – it doesn’t work – BUT – what if it does. Individuals who have a positive attitude are always thinking about “what if it works?” 

Analysis Paralysis will always keep you thinking of the glass as half empty instead of half full. Don’t worry about making mistakes – that’s what they are for – you can always get a do-over. 

Most successful people will tell you that they learned the most about their journey along the way. It is because of the trial and error why some people achieve greatness – they were not afraid to fail. They are always thinking, “what if I succeed?” 

So, just do it! 

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10 Significant Reasons to Quit Your Job

As of the publishing of this article, I have been working with the same company for 6 years. At the time I joined this particular firm, it was my first taste of the beauty industry career wise. I admit that when I first took the position, I was a bit reticent about where it might lead. I had even thought it was going to be a quick pit stop until the next BIG move. 

To my surprise and good fortune, I discovered something I never thought I would; I discovered what it truly meant to be passionate about what you do. I was reminded of how I once felt about music when I used to be a rapper/producer years before. The individuals that I have met, connected with and come to know so well while working at this firm are some of the most passionate and hardworking individuals on the planet. 

I don’t know if it’s just the firm I work for, but my experience so far in this industry has been an awesome ride. I learned the most about myself during this time; I have grown tremendously in so many ways because of the exposure I have received. I am naturally a driven person; however, this is the place where I realized my true purpose in life. Perhaps I would have discovered it anyway – who knows? What I do know is that in this place, I not only found a career I enjoy, I also found and began pursuing the reason I am here on this physical plain. 

All of this is to say that, there are so many things that are important factors in having a successful career, finding your true purpose and making sure that you are fulfilled. This is what leads me to the title of this article. 

Following are 10 significant reasons why I believe YOU should quit your job. Bear in mind that this is subjective and strictly based on my experience. In my view, if any of these situations or conditions exist in your job, succeeding at it will be extremely difficult. 

Now don’t all go telling off your bosses just because I may strike a nerve – be strategic – not foolish. 

In no particular order, these are 10 significant reasons to quit your job.

 

  1.   You are bored to death

If you are bored to death, your job is basically a dead zone. You will be completely unmotivated and your performance will be lack-luster. Boring jobs are for boring people – they actually enjoy it. Unless you are happy being boring, keeping a boring job is just asinine.

 

 2.   You do meaningless work

If what you do means nothing to others and worse – nothing to you; you may as well just do nothing at all. What is the point of showing up everyday to a job that means nothing – one that adds no value to others and leaves you unfulfilled? 

I don’t know about you but if I don’t feel like what I do matters; I don’t want to do it. Something must be severely wrong if I am doing something day in and day out and yet no value is created for anyone – except maybe the guy signing my paychecks. For me, that’s not enough – how about you? 

Meaningless work is for meaningless people; it is for those who have accepted that their fate has already been decided and they are just going through the motions. Continuing to do meaningless work is selfish, callous and just plain un-cool. 
  

 3.   You dislike your co-workers

This can be sad, intense, depressing and dangerous all at once. This type of environment completely kills teamwork and stifles creativity. When you don’t like the people you work with, you spend more time covering your ass than you do making a difference. 

Part of the motto of the team I currently work with is less C.Y.A. and more C.E.O. Translation – less time on Covering Your Ass and more time on Covering Each Other. 

Life throws you enough curve balls; you don’t need to be watching your back at work. Worst of all, you really don’t need to get caught up in unproductive beefs and disputes with your co-workers. This can only breed resentment and cause spiteful and vindictive behavior. If you don’t like your co-workers and they don’t like you – it’s time to go.

 

 4.   You don’t respect your boss

It will be tough to move ahead in your job if you don’t respect your boss. Additionally, how can you learn anything of value from someone you don’t respect? 

It should go without saying that whether you like your boss or not – it's better if you can respect him/her. Of course, I have always found it difficult to respect someone that I don’t like – the two seem to go hand in hand. 

In any case, respect for your boss is crucial for success in your position; if you work in a corporate structure that has a chain of command, your boss needs to be your biggest cheerleader. If he/she isn’t, you’ll be hard-pressed to get ahead. 

You could try circumvention; however, unless the brass thinks of your boss as a complete moron, your tactic will backfire quickly. YOU LOSE! I won’t say that respect for your boss is a must but it sure keeps the wheels greasy for you if you do. 
  

 5.   Limits professional growth

This could be tricky, especially if you are not clear on what you want professionally. In order to understand this, you must first understand where you want to take your professional life. Once you do that, it is up to you to steer it in the right direction. Where you work should serve as the vehicle to help you do that. If it is not doing that, you either need to change course or move on. 

Be careful when analyzing this factor; make sure that you are making the right move for the right reasons. Don’t make rash decisions that can hurt you later. Think it through and in the end just do what’s true for you and learn to live with the consequences.

 

 6.   Limits personal growth

One of the things I love most about the firm where I work is that they aspire to encourage personal growth and development at all levels. The company really does believe in the individual growth of others because they understand that this makes people feel better and perform better. 

If you are unable to achieve any personal growth because of the job you have, that is a reason to quit. Frankly, it will be hard for you to achieve any level of real success if you are not growing as a person. It is through your creativity, tenacity and pro-activity that you will grow. Your personal growth is vital to this process; if you can’t see that, you’re in for a long and miserable ride at work. 
  

 7.   You lack the latitude to make changes

If you can’t change anything then why are you there? Change can come from anywhere and from all ranks. The only thing that matters is that the change is positive and for the good of those you work with and serve. Nothing is more important that the way you change and grow no matter what you do. 

If your creativity is suppressed; if your ingenuity is unappreciated and your true gifts are irrelevant to what you do, then what purpose do you ultimately serve? You may as well be a slave or indentured servant because you are only doing someone else’s bidding for someone else’s purpose to meet someone else’s ends. 

I can tell you from experience that it feels totally fulfilling when your gifts are not only recognized but encouraged. I feel it every day doing what I do. The best part of what I do is that I get to utilize all my true gifts to bring value to those I work with and those I serve. 

Change is good – change is growth – we all need it.

 

8.   You are unhappy with what you do

If you are unhappy with what you do, why do you do it? This cannot be an easy road. Ok, I am not naïve – I know that there are times we do things because we need to make ends meet. I totally get that – who hasn’t done that? You take a job just to make some extra money to do a few things. 

That being said, who said you had to be stuck with that? Even if you are currently in a job you hate, you don’t have to stay in it forever. Whether you believe it or not, you do have a choice – you can choose to change it. The question is – are you willing to do what you need to do to change your fate? 

Unfortunately, most people are not so instead, they convince themselves that they have no choice. The truth is that saying you have no choice is choice to do nothing and accept mediocrity. See, you do have a choice. 
  

 9.   You’ve discovered your true purpose in life

While you may have a job that you like, it certainly doesn’t trump true purpose. Also, the job you have may lead you to your true purpose in life and then you only have to transition into it. 

Life changes and evolves every day so if you discover your true purpose in life, it is your responsibility to share it with the world. It is your responsibility to make a difference in other people’s lives. The only people who don’t want to make a difference are those who would rather be fear-driven than to take right action. True heroes are not afraid to do what they were meant to do – they certainly have fears – however, right action trumps fear every time. 

Unless the job you have allows you to pursue and/or fulfill your true purpose in life, it is definitely time to quit.

 

10.   It’s just a job

The other factors don’t even matter as much until you are clear on one thing. The title of this article is “10 Significant Reasons to Quit Your Job.” The point of that is to say that, if it’s just a stinking job; it’s not a career – not a purpose.                    

Jobs are for mindless minions – and if you’re not a mindless minion, the only other reason to simply have a job is to pay your bills while you pursue your real goal. College students have jobs; people in pursuit of a dream have jobs. For the smart and happy people who have their paychecks signed by someone else, they have careers. A career is way different than a job. Careers have growth potential; careers matter – they add value and they are usually fulfilling to some degree. 

If you just have a job and no dream; no aspirations to be a part of something greater than yourself – by all means keep your job. You are a mindless minion and though it’s kind of sad – you are indeed necessary. We need you mindless minions to help the few leaders understand what not to aspire to. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it is the truth. It’s time we stop sugar-coating the truth and just come out and say it like it really is. If you serve no purpose on this plain, what the hell good are you? 
 

Just to wrap this up…

There will be many who will want to stake me to the cross for this post and there will be others who will suddenly become keenly aware. Either way, I have accepted the consequences and I am willing to live with what comes. 

That being said, don’t run out after reading this and run amuck at your job. This article is simply meant to make you think about your life and your purpose. It is a wake up call of sorts; one designed to help you see some things that may have escaped you before. 

If you make any decisions about your professional growth, just remember to think your actions through. Be strategic and plan every move before you make it. Don’t tell your boss where to stick it unless you’ve got someplace better to go. In fact, even if you do have someplace better to go – don’t burn any bridges while you do it. You never know when you may need to cross that bridge again. So as they say “let bygones be bygones”; let whatever grievances you have be “water under the bridge.” This way the bridge remains in tact should you need it again.  

Well there they are; Dean’s 10 significant reasons to quit your job. Send me your 10 at: dean@deanlforbes.com. We’ll have a good laugh. 
 

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How to Develop and Cultivate Wisdom

Contrary to what many believe, wisdom is not simply a byproduct of aging and getting old. Sure, for the most part we all will gain some wisdom from our life experiences over time BUT, that’s really just one facet of wisdom. True sage-like wisdom requires real effort and takes time to develop, however, it can be done and the best part is… YOU can begin developing and cultivating it at any age. 

This article will cover the fundamentals of developing and cultivating wisdom. This is a deliberate process that requires diligent work in order to achieve the results you desire. Seriously, this article is more than 3,500 words long but it is jam packed with incredible insights. If you are pressed for time and you’re really interested in the topic, I urge you to print it out for later… and read it as you sip some organic Jasmine Green Tea. 

Firstly, let me make one thing clear… wisdom is not simply a level of knowledge you acquire like a degree and then you graduate… rather it is an on-going and consistent process. Real wisdom lies in the constant growing and learning of an individual. This is a life-long process in your personal growth and development that requires a deep level of commitment.

 

The Fundamental Building Blocks of Wisdom

Developing and cultivating wisdom requires that you consistently feed the four quadrants of you… your mind, body, heart and spirit. 

True wisdom is found in the oneness of these four parts of the self. The more harmonized the quadrants, the wiser your decisions will be and the more successful and impactful your actions. The difference between success and failure lie in the decisions we make and the actions we take. Aligning the four quadrants of you will certainly serve you well in making positive changes in your personal growth and development… in your life. 

I am sure that you will agree that if you knew of a way you could guarantee that you made wiser choices in your life that you’d at the very least be interested in trying it. If that’s the case then this is your challenge because there is definitely a way to guarantee you make wiser decisions and take wiser actions in your life.

 

Feed Your Mind

Wisdom begins with knowledge and as such, you must consistently feed the mind. Notice that I said mind and not brain. The reason for this is that feeding your mind doesn’t just consist of the knowledge you consume into your brain, it also includes stimulating the mind with ideas and new experiences. It involves communicating and connecting with others on an intellectual level. It requires the desire to understand things and people on a deeper level rather than just a superficial one. 

Here’s a starter list of some examples of feeding the mind. 

Read

Reading is fundamental and it could not be truer than in the case of the pursuit of developing and cultivating wisdom. From books, to articles, to blogs and all types of literature, you should always be reading something. You should even read literature that is not in line with your core principles and values because it will either make you more convicted in your beliefs or give you a new perspective. 

Either way, you grow in your knowledge and understanding of the world. I can tell you flatly that these days I am virtually never without a book to read (or listen to in the car). I read constantly and emphatically… I have a genuine thirst for knowledge. 

Talk

You have to talk to people if you want to gain deeper insight and understanding of them. When I say talk to people, I don’t mean walking up to your random stranger and striking up a conversation… although I have done that. Start with people you know, your family, your friends and co-workers. Exchange ideas with the intent to understand their point of view so well that you can repeat it back to them with clarity. This will help you develop a sharp wit and intuition about people in general and also help you hone in on what makes a person tick.

The one caveat here is that you have to be absolutely genuine in your actions. You have to desire to truly exchange ideas and understand the other person or people to whom you are speaking. Simply put superficial and meaningless chit-chat won’t work. 

Share Experiences

Another effective way to develop and cultivate wisdom is to gain insight to how others experience the world and have them learn how you experience it. It doesn’t much matter what the experiences are so long as they are real. Although you will find many commonalities, the real gems are in the discovery of how two people can experience the same thing in entirely different ways.

For instance, take the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center at which time I was working at the Financial Center directly across from the towers joined by an overhead walkway. Some of the people I spoke with afterwards who had watched the whole thing unfold on television were absolutely horrified at what they saw. Watching people jump/fall out of skyscrapers to their death was extremely traumatizing for many of these people. 

Now, for those of us who experienced this on the scene like I, it was more humane to see these people fall because from our vantage point we could see that many of them were literally on fire. So, it was either burn to death or jump to death. I don’t know about you but if death is certain and those are my choices, jumping seems quicker and less painful than burning. 

Do you see how much you can learn when you see things from different perspectives? I apologize if I stirred up any ill feelings with my choice of example because this was probably the saddest and scariest day in my life so I understand… like I said, I was there. (Maybe I’ll cover this in depth in another article… we’ll see) 

Go Places

The mind needs constant newness in order to continue growing so you have to go places and see new things if you want to do this. When was the last time you visited a museum – which reminds me I’m overdue on that one myself? Have you seen a Broadway show lately? 

Seriously, when was the last time you went some place where you really learned something new… saw the world in a different light… from a different angle? I can’t stress enough how important this is. I am not saying that you have to be some kind of history, art and culture junkie but it wouldn’t hurt to gain some insight on how other people lived and live besides you. Learning about the world around you is an effective way to feed the mind. Equally, so is learning and understanding the past as it will give you insight into where we are coming from and foresight about the future.

 

Feed Your Body

Many people think that the body has nothing to do with wisdom. These are the same people who probably live inside their own heads without ever taking the time to come out and play with others. They are completely clueless – seriously, anyone who believes the whole world exists in the mind is on his/her way to the abyss because it is impossible to learn anything new or add any real value to anyone if you never step outside yourself.  

Feeding your body is vital to the process of developing and cultivating wisdom because your body houses the mind – just for starters. Think about it for a moment… how will you diligently seek to feed the mind or any other quadrant for that matter if you are physically incapable? Without a healthy body, you won’t be able to mount the effort it will take to develop and cultivate wisdom. 

Your body needs many things in order to function optimally. Here are a few suggestions on the more important elements to feed the body for the purposes of developing and cultivating wisdom. 

Exercise

Didn’t you just know this was going to come up? Well, at the risk of sounding cliché, exercise is an absolute must. The fact is that it is proven that you feel better, have more energy and radiate more positivity when you exercise – not to mention improved sex drive and vitality.  

You don’t have to become a gym fly but you do have to consistently exercise your body. This could mean 30 minutes of walking everyday, which can do wonders for your body, or hitting the gym 2-4 times a week. If you are pressed for time, you can schedule time to work out at home. I’ve always loved doing a lot of calisthenics… pushups, pull-ups and sit-ups, etc. It’s not exactly going hard at the gym but it gets my juices going which is what’s important. 

Rest

This is so important and in many cases the hardest to accomplish. I personally struggle with this one daily because my wife and I haven’t found the right balance yet… we have two young daughters. Our older is a 2 years old and our younger is 1 year old as of the publishing of this article. It’s extremely challenging but I have also experienced the other side and the profound differences it made in my attitude, my creativity and my energy. 

Rest is vital because it keeps your body fresh and balanced. It renews you when you’ve had enough and makes you feel revitalized. A good rule of thumb is to aim for approximately 8 hours of sleep between the hours of 10 PM and 6 AM. This time frame is considered by many experts to be optimal for the body’s calibration. 

Eat Healthily

Now, this bit of information could be considered subjective, however, speaking from experience, I’d say that it makes a major difference. Your diet is what fuels the cells of the body allowing it to function appropriately. It stands to reason then, that if you feed the body crap food, you’ll get crap functionality. You know… garbage in – garbage out.

Without getting on a soap box and going off on a fanatical tirade about eating a healthy diet, I’ll just provide some simple tips on how you can begin to improve your eating habits and preserve a healthy body.

 

• Do not eat in fast food restaurants – the food in these places are toxic at best and promote obesity and a plethora of fatty-food derived diseases

 

• Stay away from processed foods – this for the most part means any mass manufactured food because they are loaded with preservatives and artificial colors that are made in a lab and therefore no good for you at all; processed foods also have a major link to obesity and heart problems among other things that are bad for your health

 

• Eat natural and organic foods – eat as much food that is closer to nature as possible; science is good and it has its uses but science no matter how good is not better than nature. Natural and organic foods have no preservatives or artificial additives that are made in labs and therefore a thousand times better for you

 

• Drink lots of pure filtered water – I am extremely challenged with this one but I know from experience that it works; 8 glasses a day should do the trick 

I know that a healthy diet might seem way off base for the topic but trust me, it’s very relevant. Personally, my family and I now eat close to 95% pure organic foods at home and rarely eat out at restaurants. I am not saying that you need to make that commitment in order to achieve your goal but I am saying that I feel a thousand times better than I did when I ate crap foods all the time and my energy level has gone through the roof since the transition began in early 2007.

 

Feed Your Heart

If you don’t feed your heart, you will be much less able to connect with people on a deeper level. Most wise choices require a strong synergy between the mind and heart. Feeding the heart will make you more apt to deal with emotional situations; it will help you discern the best course of action in seemingly muddy waters. Many believe that it is in the matters of the heart lies the greatest wisdom. I don’t know if I’d go that far but I’d say that there is certainly a great deal of wisdom in dealing with matters of the heart. 

Feeding the heart does not mean reading a bunch of romance novels or watching meaningless soap operas on television. In order to feed the heart you have to seek out and develop true connection with others. You can simply start with connecting and re-connecting with your family and friends. These are the people closest to your heart and whenever you can be of service to them, it will feed your heart. Simply being a strong shoulder to cry on or an empathetic listener can go a long way to helping someone and even further in feeding the heart. These are real connections when approached with genuine intent. 

You can make connections through direct or indirect channels. By direct channels I mean that you can seek to truly connect with the people you know, meet and come in contact with. By indirect channels on the other hand, I mean that you can volunteer your time and/or services to help those in need or donate to a cause that moves you. Either way, you feed your heart… real connections with people feed the heart. 

Why is this important? This is important because through these acts you will gain invaluable insight into the different things that motivate others. You will discover the little things that inspire and give others direction. 

Why is this important? This is important because in order to exercise true wisdom in your decisions and your actions, you need to know what moves people. It’s not so much that you need to know what moves every single person individually but more that you need to understand how to reach people on a deeper level. This helps you develop your intuition and you will develop the ability to empathize with anyone in most any situation. 

Once again, the caveat is that you have to be genuine in your actions. It is impossible to make true, lasting, impactful and meaningful connections with people if you don’t genuinely desire to do so. A good example of this came to me when I first met my good friend and mentor Ann Mincey. There was a going-away party scheduled for one of the executives at the company where I worked and even though I wasn’t on the invitation list, I ended up at this party. In any case, I’d heard of Ann Mincey many times but never had the pleasure of meeting her although it was an aspiration of mine. 

Shortly after arriving at the party, in walks Ann and to my surprise, she made a b-line straight for me. It was unexpected and exciting all at the same time. She proceeded to introduce herself to me and then asked me what has brought me to this company. The amazing thing was that Ann didn’t simply want to know my name, rank and serial number, she wanted to know me. In her words, she said to me “Tell me your story.” For a moment I thought she was just making small talk but she was serious about the question. Needless to say Ann gave me captive audience in a room full of big-wigs for a whole 30 minutes. I’ve rarely felt more special, loved and connected with than in that moment. 

We often reminisce about it together and I can tell you we made a genuine connection… Ann really went out of her way to connect with me on a deeper level and our relationship is stronger than ever. So suffice it to say that if you are going to connect with people, do it for real. In essence, you have to show love to others. 

By the way, Ann Mincey is one of the wisest people I know… I’ve learned many things from her.

 

Feed Your Spirit

Feeding your spirit really rounds out the others because the spirit is your body’s inner compass. It is the beacon of faith through which belief is strengthened. This is how you renew yourself on a whole so that you can continuously begin anew. As you gather information, learn new things and discover different insights, renewing is the part of the process that helps you boil it all down into meaningful experiences. 

When I say feed your spirit, it is not simply about your religious beliefs, it goes much deeper than that. It’s about your personal growth and development and how you process the changes you’ve made in your life. It’s how you improve your self-awareness and align your values with your actions. Feeding your spirit is all about leading a life that enriches the soul and fulfills your deepest human desires. 

There are many ways that you can feed your spirit – this is truly an individual thing. It depends on who you are and what interests you. That being said, there are a few general concepts that tend to work across the board.

Private time

This is a time for you and you alone in solace. It is a time for reflection and re-evaluation. If you have a journal, you should be writing in it a lot during this time. Many people, including me, often make light of private time but it is so important to your growth. I have now put it on a schedule to ensure that I keep the appointment with myself. YES… it’s that important! 

Give thanks

You should give thanks everyday for your many blessings. Say thank you to the ones you love often for their love and support and say thank you privately to the universe for delivering your blessings. I actually state this in my Personal Mission Statement as something I will do every day. This should be elementary but so often we forget to do these simple things… pay this simple tribute of giving thanks for the things we have. Do it until it’s a habit. 

Meditate

This is an extremely powerful exercise no matter what method you choose. Meditation clears up so much clutter when you commit to doing it, it’s almost uncanny. I don’t think I meditate often enough but the times that I have, I have experienced deep cleansing and clarity beyond my imagination. In fact, it’s a huge part of my article writing preparation. Clearing your mind gives you a chance to re-work the pieces of the puzzle and put it back together in your head in a way that works best for you. It improves your lucidity and precision in your decisions and actions – you know development and cultivation of wisdom. 

Seek fellowship

Whether you find it in your house of worship or around the dinner table, fellowship is crucial to the growth of the spirit. It renews your sense of why you are who you are and why you do what you do. It really brings to light the values that are most important to you. 

Getting together with family can be an extremely uplifting experience especially when there is hearty laughter and unconditional sharing involved. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from and what you do, we all need to form bonds with other people. Whether we know it or not, there are no bonds more important than those formed between human beings. It is through these bonds that we learn, grow and change the most. There is a reason why people ultimately go crazy when they reside in seclusion for long periods of time… they lack human contact. 

Fellowship with others nurtures synergy and helps you harness the power of oneness not only with self but with others. The pinnacle of excellence in building relationships is the ability to work effectively in unison with others. 

If you are not close to your immediate family, seek fellowship with your friends; if you don’t have many friends, join a club. The point is that, fellowship is an important part of developing and cultivating wisdom.

 

All or Nothing

If you are willing to practice in these four areas, I guarantee you will see significant and profoundly positive results in your decisions and your actions. You will realize, just as I did, that wisdom is not a level of degree you acquire but rather it’s an on-going journey of growth and personal development. Others will begin coming to you for advice because you’ve exercised such wisdom in your own life. 

If on the other hand you are not willing to go the distance and practice feeding the four quadrants of you consistently, you will fall short in your wisdom development and cultivation. Eventually, as the world changes, your decisions and your actions will be out of touch with reality because you lack the right foods. 

The fact is the more closely aligned these four quadrants are, the wiser the decisions you make and the actions you take. 

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How to Develop and Cultivate Authentic Leadership

If you are not a leader and do not have any interest in becoming one – STOP NOW – don’t bother reading one more word of this article. It would be absolutely pointless since you won’t benefit and neither will anyone else because you’re content with being ordinary. 

Are you still there? 

Awesome – that makes you extraordinary – for sticking around that is. 

Authentic leadership is a quality that is far too scarce; not enough of us are willing to participate in something greater than ourselves. This is probably because the road isn’t always easy and the price is steep. The commitment necessary to facilitate the emergence of authentic leadership is not something most are willing to accept. 

For the few who are and do, the goal of this article is to provide insights that can undoubtedly help you develop and cultivate authentic leadership. I will share with you what I have learned from some of the finest minds of the last half century; from my experience and many incredible mentors.

 

What is Authentic Leadership?

Authentic Leadership requires that you be the epitome of the changes you want to see in the world. It is leading others by example, doing the right things while exercising the humility to stand with people and not above them. 

It is not about being perfect; it is about the continuous pursuit of excellence not only in self but also in others. My good friend and mentor, Ann Mincey, once gave me a gift of what she sees in me. She presented me with a simple card that read “Others.” This card, once given to her by her pastor, represented the true purpose of leadership in one word. Others simply means that you seek to find the best in and grow others. That’s authentic. 

Authentic leaders are not afraid to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty; in fact, you will not find one that would ever ask of anyone what he/she is not willing to do himself/herself. 

Again, it is not about being perfect but rather a constant drive to embody these qualities with the sole purpose of making a positive difference in the lives of others.

 

Who is an Authentic Leader?

No, the answer is not simply anyone; however, it is anyone with the courage to live his/her values no matter what. This person can come from anywhere; from any walk of life; any color, creed or stature – it doesn’t matter. As long as you are open and willing to learn what it takes to tap into your incredible human potential; to unleash your powerful creativity and tenacity in sharing your true gifts – you are an authentic leader. 

If you dare to be different in taking right action even in the face of extreme adversity; if you possess the valor to stand alone on your principles – you are an authentic leader. Contrary to popular belief, leaders are neither born nor made, rather they emerge. They can pop up anywhere and at anytime; it depends on what the situation is and who is involved. If there is a person within the ranks that possess the qualities outlined above – a leader will emerge. 

Now, I won’t mince words with you or offer you fluff. The fact that you’re reading this means that you’re way too smart for that. I believe, based on the information available at the time of this publication that 99% of people will not emerge as authentic leaders. Forgive me if that sounds a bit pessimistic; I assure you I am not. The plain fact is that most people simply will not commit to this challenge either because of fear paralysis or complacency. Either way – they will remain sheep. What about you? 
  

The 2 Paradigms of Authentic Leadership

There are 2 paradigms of authentic leadership; independent and interdependent. It is in the mastery of these 2 paradigms lies complete authentic leadership. 

Your understanding of both of these is crucial if you want to develop and cultivate authentic leadership. 

Independent Leadership – Succeed with self

Independent leadership requires a commitment to personal growth, change and evolution. Stephen R. Covey, one of my favorite authors calls this “Private Victory.” 

Private victories are mainly focused on your personal growth and development. It is in this mode of leadership that you define who you are, what your values are and how you respond to the world around you. This is the development and cultivation of personal authentic leadership. 

There are 3 main elements that help you achieve excellence in your independent leadership. This is how you succeed with self.

1. Be proactive – you must accept 100% responsibility for your actions and responses to the people and circumstances around you. It doesn’t matter where you are from and how you were raised; you have the power to choose your path. This includes what you do and how you do it. Being proactive means that you march to the beat of your own drum. You do not react only when someone or something acts on you – that’s reactive. Rather, you take action to make things happen; you move and influence the people and circumstances around you – that’s proactive. 

2. Begin with the results you desire – plan your goals from the finish line backwards. When you understand and are clear on your mission, it is easier to mount the correct strategy to achieve your goal. Your success depends on how well you can express your objective.  Your intent and desire is your compass for developing the correct map to reach your destination successfully.

3. Prioritize appropriately – authentic leadership demands that you put first things first instead of last. It also demands that you don’t waste your energy on meaningless and trivial matters that add no value to anyone. You must learn to execute around priorities; make sure you place high value on the things that matter most to you. Do not take anything for granted because that which we take for granted we lose. Remember the important things and sometimes these are the little things and then endeavor to address them in order of importance. Give them the time and energy that they require; that they deserve. 

Interdependent Leadership – Succeed with others

Interdependent leadership requires a commitment to successfully connecting and collaborating with others. Stephen R. Covey calls this “Public Victory.” 

Public victories are mainly focused on working with and growing others. It is in this mode of leadership that you define how you will add value to others and also how you will cherish and nurture the gifts of others in valuing them. This is the development of authentic public leadership. 

There are 3 main elements that help you achieve excellence in your interdependent leadership. This is how you succeed with others.

1. Seek the third alternative – the third alternative says that you only accept win/win outcomes otherwise you walk away. The main point of the third alternative is to seek the best course of action in all your endeavors. The best course of action is one where all parties affected are happy with the results. If this is not feasible at any given time, then the best course of action is to walk away with clean hearts. This type of attitude sparks excellence in creativity and cooperation.

2. Listen first before you speak – authentic leaders are master listeners; they recognize that it is a gift and they give it often. It is better to first understand others before seeking to have them understand you. In order to succeed at understanding, you must genuinely want to do it. No matter how many books you read and from whom you take advice, you will not hear a thing others say unless you truly want to. True understanding requires that you listen actively with the intent to hear what the other person has to say.

3. Value Collaboration – 2 heads are truly better than one. J. Paul Getty said “I’d rather have 1% each of 100 men than 100% of one man.” This is because he understood the power of cooperation. He understood that it is through synergy that the pinnacle of excellence is achieved. Authentic leaders encourage and reward creativity; they praise those who speak up and they teach others to find their voice. You must place high value on collaboration in order to succeed in interdependent leadership.  

These 2 paradigms of authentic leadership make up the authentic leader; I know of none who do not understand these and strive to succeed at them daily. They consistently seek to learn and grow so that they can succeed in private as well as in public.

 

What’s Next?

First of all, you should know that nothing in this article is original except for my style of writing. It is all based on universal and unchanging principles – natural law. These have always worked and will continue to work indefinitely. 

If you truly want to be an authentic leader, reading this article is a great start. If you wish to continue your journey, here are several more things I suggest you do immediately.

1. Add this blog to your favorites
2. Share it with others
3. Subscribe to the P³G Newsletter
4. Subscribe to my RSS feed
5. Read the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
6. Get off your ass and take action 
    

Don’t get discouraged and never give up because we need you to lead us.

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Killer Series: 7 Steps to Killer Success

I wrote an article titled The Epiphany of Complete Success wherein I outlined my best insights on the elements that must be present in order to experience success in all its forms. The goal of that article was to help you recognize your own gifts and talents and then to find innovative ways to share them with the world. Furthermore it was about helping you to understand that unless you discover your true purpose, complete success will continue to elude you. 

There was also a segment in that article where I talked about the fact that we all have the ability to achieve complete success BUT that 99% of us won’t because we refuse to wake up to the possibilities. This is still true; however, I wanted to provide some more practical insights to help you stand apart from the 99% and become a part of the top 1%. 

The goal of this article is to provide a simple step-by-step guide on how to achieve Killer Success. This is the type of success that 100% of people dream of but only 1% actually does something about it. I know – you’re used to the 80/20 rule which is still true; however, I want us – YOU – to aim for the pinnacle of success. I want you to reside in the top 1% and I’m sure you do too. 

Achieving Killer Success requires a great deal of discipline, commitment and determination. People who achieve at this level don’t know what it feels like to quit; they persevere even when all the odds are against them. They leave it all on the line in pursuit of a dream greater than themselves. They are completely purpose-driven and whatever they do, they put people first. This is how you achieve Killer Success. 

Following are 7 steps to help guide you on your journey to achieving your own killer success. Practicing these steps will undoubtedly catapult your success to heights you have not yet imagined and then some. 
 

Step #1: Start at the finish line

I know – it might sound a little strange to you. Why would anyone suggest that you start a race at the finish line? 

This goes back to the doctrine of being a purpose-driven individual. When you know where you are going and how you intend to get there, most of your battle is already won. All you have to do now is execute the steps accordingly. 

All people who achieve killer success understand how crucial it is to envision your goal before you take the first step towards it. Have you ever heard the term “keep your eye on the prize?” If you can already see yourself at the finish line as the first person through the tape – your focus will be more acute. You will be able to execute the necessary steps much more effectively because you know exactly where you are going and how you plan to get there. 

This is sometimes referred to as goal-setting; it is the point in the process where you pinpoint exactly what it is you want to achieve and then see it accomplished in your mind’s eye before it actually happens. This is called creating the vision; it centers your actions on the ultimate goal thereby making your every move relevant and purposeful in achieving your end. 

Imagine what you want the people you love and know to say at your funeral; imagine the legacy you wish to leave behind for your children. Unless you have a clear picture of that, how will you know how to live your life accordingly? The fact is that all people who achieve killer success begin every journey with the end in mind. This keeps you focused and on target. 

Some people say, “I would love to change where I am”; however, the truth is where you are is the present and that you cannot change because it has already happened. What you can change is where you want to be BUT if you don’t have an idea where that is, it will be hard to take the right actions to get there.

 

Step #2: Draw the correct map

If step #1 is where you create the vision then step #2 is where you map it out. This is called vision-mapping. Once your goal – the finish line – is crystallized in your mind, you have to draw the correct map. 

This means that you have to figure out what resources, tools and people you need to help you achieve your goal. Drawing the correct map does not necessarily mean the fastest way to your destination – it means taking the right actions to achieve the results you desire. To achieve killer success the correct map must be grounded in universal and correct principles. When you begin to connect the dots, it must always be for the right reasons. 

Since this is your map, there is no reason you can’t change it midstream as long as the change is grounded in correct principles. This means that on the road to your killer success, you must always put people first and things second; things you can replace – people you cannot. 

The correct map also requires that you pay close attention to the signs on the road lest you get led astray.  So often people start out on a road with one purpose only to find that by the end of the journey they’ve gone completely off course and the purpose they started with has been eroded. Can you imagine trying to get to Denver with a map of Boston? You’ll never make it.

Again, your map may change and the different stops you make along the way may change; however, you must stay true to your purpose. Each step you take must reflect your vision – your ultimate goal.

 

Step #3: Employ the 4 quadrants

Achieving killer success requires – demands that you go all or nothing. You must be in it all the way with every fiber of your being. This is what it means to employ the 4 quadrants of YOU. Your heart, mind, body and spirit must be as one on this course in order to achieve the results you desire. 

If your heart is not in it then your reasons for pursuing this course will be muddled and blurred. Your vision will be unclear and you will easily go off track. Your heart is where the correct emotions and deep passion come from in order to fuel your actions. If it is not in the right place you’ve already set yourself up for failure. 

Your mind is the source of creation and innovation; this is your source of creating the vision and connecting the dots. With your heart in the right place, your mind will unleash more creative and innovative power than you can imagine. If your mind is not in it, your plan will certainly go awry. 

Of course without your body, you cannot take any action on the purpose your heart has given you or on the plan your mind has designed. You must be willing to act because without action, nothing will get done. Without action, your dreams will quickly become fantasies and your killer success will ultimately become killer mediocrity. Unless you get off your ass and in the game, no points will ever get on board for you. 

Your spirit is what ties everything together; it is your essence – it is the energy that you release into the world. If your spirit is correctly grounded in your purpose, it will tell you that you receive what you believe. This is a universal truth and your spirit must be in line with universal and unchanging truths – principles. Without belief, there is no way you can achieve killer success. If you believe you can’t do it, you are absolutely and unequivocally right. In the same vein, if you believe that you can do it, you are absolutely and unequivocally right. This is the universal law of belief – you receive what you believe and nothing more or less. If your spirit is not in it, your vision will surely perish. 

Individuals who achieve killer success understand that the 4 quadrants are imperative in order to achieve the results you desire. Work on aligning these with your goals and your success will multiply a thousand fold and more.

 

Step #4: Spread the wealth

Spreading the wealth speaks mainly to 2 universal principles – the law of gratitude and the law of giving. 

The law of gratitude says, the more grateful you are for what you have, the more you get to be grateful for. With killer success comes a level of humility that makes you feel grateful for all that you have. In showing that appreciation you simply get more and more to appreciate and life becomes rich in every way. This is why you must give thanks every day for the people and the things that you have. If you do this genuinely, you will certainly receive more to give thanks for.

The law of giving says that whatever it is that you want more of in your life, you should give more of it away. Often, people misconstrue what this really means. The first thought many people have is “how can I give away money if I don’t have any to give away?” This is because they do not understand that money is just a byproduct of success – it is not success itself. When you understand this concept, you begin to realize that what you need to give away is not money per se BUT the wealth you have in your life. 

For instance, you can give away love, knowledge, help, kindness, and a host of other things that cost you nothing at all. If you are creating and distributing value to others, the byproducts of your success will begin to show up in your life and if you want more of those byproducts then you can give those away too. The law of giving says that the more you give, the more you will receive. The caveat is that you should not give with the expectation of receiving something in return – that is disingenuous. You must always give with the intention to simply give; to create a distribute value to someone else. 

When you do this genuinely, the universe will and must respond to you in kind. You will receive more than you give in return. So don’t hoard the wealth – spread it as much as you can. Do it willingly, happily and only with good intentions and your killer success will certainly flourish.

 

Step #5: Pay it forward

In the same vein as spreading the wealth, killer success demands that you teach and mentor others in some way. Through the steps you take to achieve your killer success, there were resources, tools and most importantly people that helped you along the way. Paying it forward simply means that you endeavor to do the same for others. It means that you help others avoid the pitfalls that you may have suffered on your journey. It means that you share your experience with others so that they might learn from it. 

When you give in this manner, it will help you avoid one of the major pitfalls of success – GREED. Paying it forward will serve as a constant reminder that you did not do this on your own and that you have others to thank. You honor that memory by providing the same or better opportunities for others. You help others find their voice and teach them how to draw correct maps. 

There is not a single individual that I know of who has achieved killer success that hasn’t made it a point to consistently pay it forward. Some do it in BIG ways and others in small ways. Either way, they do it consistently.

 

Step #6: Value Principles

Unless you place high value on principles, killer success will continue to escape you. In all that you do, you must adhere to correct principles. The universe acts without emotion; without judgment. It simply responds to natural laws no matter what. 

Have you ever noticed that the more down you are the more the universe works to keep you down? Conversely, the more up you are the more the universe works to keep you up – these are natural laws at work. They act in the same fashion no matter what others do or say. They are unchanging and universal truths – principles.

Killer success demands that you value and adhere to correct principles in order to achieve the results you desire. This is the secret that all killer successful individuals understand. It is the fuel that drives and maximizes the first five steps. Unless you value principles, you will eventually run out of gas and your quest for killer success will fall flat.

 

Step #7: Do what you love

This step should probably go without saying; however, as I often say – better to be thorough. There is no point in practicing any of these steps if the 7^th is not a part of the regimen. Doing what you love will help to further ensure that you say and do things for the right reasons as you pursue your goals; it ensures your commitment. 

Of all the examples I can think of there isn’t a single person who has achieved killer success that isn’t doing what he or she loves to do. This being said, it is easy to misunderstand what it really means to do what you love. 

For some individuals, they do not or refuse to see how doing what they love will bring them success because they don’t see it relation to money. The truth is that the moment you are doing anything for money, the love is not for what you’re doing – it’s for the money. This is a sure way to derail your killer success. 

Remember the heart in the 4 quadrants? You have to love what you’re doing in order to find the true value in it and then endeavor to distribute that value. Believe me, the byproduct money will eventually show up and it will be more than you need. This again goes back to the natural laws – the universe will respond in kind. 

Another way to view this is that while what you do for a living is not the thing you love or what you are passionate about – it must be the means to that end. In other words, you may choose to do one thing in order to create the space and the freedom for you to do another – to do the thing you love. 

For instance, let’s say you love to travel – you are extremely passionate about it. You love visiting different parts of the world and learning about new cultures. Let’s also say, it’s not necessarily something you want to use as a vehicle for creating monetary success but you would rather keep it as your private dream. What do you do? 

Well, it would be naïve to think that in this case simply doing what you love will bring you killer success. It may bring you success in your peace of mind and personal fulfillment; however, it won’t keep a roof over your head or put food in your belly. This is where the other 3 quadrants come in to save the day – this is why you need them all. 

Your mind will create an innovative way for you to share your other gifts and talents with the world and your body will execute the plan that will give you the monetary success you need so you can pursue your true love at your leisure. Once your spirit is in line with correct principles as you do what you do – you will reap the right results. 

Doing what you love then simply means that your actions are grounded in correct principles and that the map you follow ultimately leads you to what you love to do. It may be that your map is all about doing what you love or you have simply created a map that consistently takes you to what you love. Either way the goal is to do what you love. 

When you begin doing what you love – you will never have to work another day in your life. This is a beautiful thing.  

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Moving Up In a Down Economy

The state of the economy is always at the forefront of the media as well as top of mind for people. It goes without saying that there is a legitimate concern with the financial status of our government at all times. 

There is a constant sense of anticipation in the air as it pertains to careers, businesses and the world economy at large.  Everyone has a stake in the health of the economy; some folks are worried about losing their jobs while others worry about failing in business. In either case, the state of the economy weighs on your mind. 

The good news in all of this is that no matter what the media portrays and regardless of how the economy is doing; some folks still tend to do very well. It seems no matter how bad things seem to be, there are professionals and business owners who almost always seem to be moving up even in a down economy. 

Do you want to be one of these individuals? 

The goal of this article is to provide you with some tips on how you can ensure that you continue an upward momentum even in a down economy.

 

For Professionals

If you have a career and you want to ensure that it keeps growing and getting better, there are definitely some things you can do to achieve the results you desire. 

There are 2 key things you must remember at all times and then endeavor to make sure that every move you make is aligned with at least one or both. You should be certain that whatever you do in your career that you are either making or saving your company money. 

This is the main reason most companies exist – to make a profit. If you can understand that, then it should be pretty easy to grasp the concept of making or saving your company money. You don’t have to perform duties that are in direct correlation with either of these activities; however, at the end of the day, your role must tie back to at least one or both. 

There are a few adjustments you can make to improve your status among your colleagues and management teams. These tips will help ensure that they see your relevance as it pertains to one or both of the keys.

1. Embody the company mission – make sure that you understand this inside-out and then align your actions with it every chance you get. If you don’t believe in the company mission, this will be extremely difficult for you.  Start each presentation and project plan with the goal of fulfilling the company mission.

2. Start solving problems – choose a problem that your company has and then solve it. First make sure that you can quantify the resolution in dollars and cents; either by how much the company will make or how much it will save as a result. If the resolution to the problem does not directly or indirectly tie to making or saving the company money, choose one that does. 

3. Increase productivity – find ways to get more done in less time; this alone can solidify your stature in the eyes of the brass. I don’t mean that you should kill yourself trying to do this; I mean work smart and locate alternative resources that will help you achieve the results you desire.

4. Request a meeting with your boss – this is where you let your boss know that you are thinking about the future of the organization; in this meeting you want to ask for his/her input on the main things you ought to focus on in order to help the company achieve its objectives. This move shows initiative; it is just the type of proactive stance that companies look for and keep. 

If you really think about this, there are many more tips you may be able to add as well depending on where you work and what you do. Just make sure that what ever you do is either making or saving your company money. If you are not doing one of these things either directly or indirectly, watch your six. 

Other things you can do to ensure that you continue to move up in a down economy involve your personal growth activities. Always seek out venues, events and people that can help you improve your skills and value. Make sure that you keep your resume current because sometimes moving up means moving out. You don’t want to get caught with your pants down.  

If you don’t have a mentor, now is a good time to get one. In fact, get 2 or more and make sure that one of them is an influential person within your organization. This is what influential people live to do – influence! Trust me, you have only to ask a few people to be your mentor and if your reputation is in good standing, I doubt you have any trouble. 

An influential mentor can come in handy when it’s time to hand out pink slips – guess who won’t be getting one if your mentor likes you. No one gets rid of their protégé unless it is absolutely necessary. 

Moving up in a down economy demands that you stay fresh and relevant to the decision-makers. You have to remain visible; in order to do that, you must be part of high visibility things. Being a part of the solution, increasing output and reducing time and being proactive are all highly visible elements.

 

For Entrepreneurs

If you are a business owner, your main concern is losing profits. You obviously need a certain amount of revenue to sustain your business and a down economy does not necessarily make that easy. 

Here’s the silver lining for you; if you can begin viewing the state of the economy as an opportunity as opposed to a problem, you’re half way there. Furthermore, that attitude will put you light years ahead of the competition. You see, the most common thing that entrepreneurs do when the economy is down is join the Nay-Sayers in their negative thinking. 

The most positive and productive thing you can do for your business is to think differently. Observe the masses and do the opposite. While your competition sees problems, you see solutions to improving customer service. 

What successful entrepreneurs know is that no matter what state the economy is in, their main focus is always to create and distribute value to their customers. They understand that once they continue to look for new and better ways to fulfill their customers’ needs, their value to those customers will increase immediately. 

One of the chief goals of consumers, especially in a down economy, is to feel secure and valued with the people with whom they do business. There is no question that if your product or service is relevant and you find ways of creating and distributing value to your customers, your business will continue to grow. You will move up in a down economy. 

Those who do not focus on this crucial aspect of their businesses will undoubtedly kill their profits. If you want to continue moving up in any economy, focus and creating and distributing value to your customers. With consumers holding on tighter to their wallets, what will make them open them up to you? You must offer something of value to them – that is the only way.

 

Keen Awareness

For anyone who wishes to continue moving up in a down economy, it is important that you raise your awareness of the definition of value as it pertains to what you do. It is your responsibility to decipher the best ways of adding value in your capacity. Simply knowing the ropes and technical aspects of your role is no longer enough to sustain you. 

Whether you are in a good or bad economy, your primary goal should always be seeking newer and better ways of adding value. Regardless of your job description, what type of career you have or type of business you own, focusing on adding value will undoubtedly yield greater rewards. 

When your level of awareness is at a high level, you will be able to hone in on specific areas wherein you can add the most value. Knowing what the people around you need most is crucial in delivering the best value. 

If you work for someone else, you should also pay close attention to your goals as they pertain to your company’s goals. Make sure that you evaluate these periodically to ensure alignment. When things fall out of alignment, you can easily get caught in the activity trap only to discover too late that you were chasing the wrong rabbit. 

If you own your own business, evaluate your goals often just to make sure that the ends and the means work harmoniously. The last thing you want to do is harm your reputation by doing something that goes against your principles. Whatever you tell your customers you’re going to do, you must do exactly that. Do not cut corners otherwise your customers will eventually cut you. Be sure to survey them often so that you remain in the know about their most urgent needs and then meet them. 

The bottom line is, endeavor to continuously raise your awareness about what you do and whom you serve. If you make this a habit you will have no trouble moving up in a down economy.

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10 Common New Year’s Resolutions That Usually Fail

Recently I published a newsletter comparing New Year’s resolutions to Real Goals; in that issue, I explained the differences between the 2 and why goals are always better to set than making empty promises to yourself via New Year’s resolutions. You can read this issue on my Facebook profile. 

This post is dedicated to giving you some insight into 10 common New Year’s resolutions that usually fail and the reasons that they most likely do. These are in no particular order – just some insights and observations I’ve picked up over the years.

 

1.   Lose Weight

Weight loss is definitely a top priority when it comes to making resolutions; the news constantly buzzes about it. There are always new ways and new tools to help you drop those unwanted pounds. 

Year after year though, although some people are able to lose some weight after making the resolution to do so, the majority gain the weight back and sometimes even more. Some people don’t even get off the couch to make the effort and weight loss once again becomes a pipedream. 

There are a few reasons that come screaming to mind why this resolution almost always fails:

·         No real commitment

·         No goal weight in mind

·         No deadline for when to get there 

These among other reasons will quickly derail any chance of keeping this resolution. Another major factor is the emotions that run so deeply for many people who struggle with weight. These feelings can be painful and therefore discouragement can set in quickly when the odds appear to be insurmountable.

 

2.   Make More Money

I have done this one to myself quite a few times in the past; each time I did it was a miserable failure. I couldn’t understand why I failed at this so often until I discovered a few insightful things about money and making money. 

You see, money should never really be a reason to do anything. I’ve learned that once you factor money into a decision, your actions can quickly become impulsive and eroded in pursuit of it; especially when you don’t have much in the first place. 

The resolution to make more money usually fails because people either look for the fastest way they can make money or they have no clue where to begin. In either case, this resolution is doomed before it even gets off the ground. 

Here’s why… 

Doing anything just for money almost always means that you do not have a passion for what you’re doing to make this money and therefore you do not care. That means that whether you create and deliver value to others or not doesn’t much matter as long as you make money. If you’ve gone this route before then you know it is short-lived. If you haven’t found out yet – trust me – you will. 

The other reason this resolution falls by the wayside is that you may have no clue what to do to make more money and since you stand for nothing, you end up falling for anything. There are plenty of “Get Rich Quick” schemes out there for all the suckers that are born at the turn of every year. 

The bottom line is that if you need to make more money and you do so by chasing the fastest buck or by trying the latest scams, you won’t succeed. In some cases you may even see some increase in your bank account for a while; however, I guarantee it won’t last if you continue to operate in the same vein.

 

3.   Get a New Job

This one is a very common resolution for the disgruntled employee. I’ll keep it very simple. The individuals that waste their time complaining about their jobs are the ones that never do anything about it. They threaten to leave every now and again but they continue to show up for the pain every day. 

These are the people making this resolution most of the time. Why does it usually fail? Because many people don’t even mean it when they say they are going to find a new job. Additionally, if you were to ask an individual who made this resolution, “when was the last time you updated your resume?” I can almost guarantee you might hear crickets. 

Other factors include:

• Not knowing what type of job you really want
• Do you really hate the one you have or is it the people?
• Can you solve your problem by talking to your boss?
• Is there something that can be done to make you satisfied with the job you have? 

The problem is that 99% of employees don’t ask these questions; neither of themselves nor their peers and superiors. I’ve worked on Wall Street and Main Street and this is one of those things that just don’t change no matter how much everything else does. 

The complainers and whiners threaten to quit while the leaders and heretics make plans to move forward – within or without the organization.

 

4.   Start a Business

For starters, more than 80% of all new startups fail within the first year of business. This fact already eliminates about 99% of the resolution makers since the majority people who start businesses have clear reasons for doing so. They may not have a clue how to run a business but they at least know why they started it. 

That being said, the New Year’s resolution usually fails because of a few reasons:

• No game plan
• No strategy
• No investment
• No research
• No follow up
• No sacrifice 

This list could probably go one for quite a bit but I’ll stop here. Starting a business is not a cake walk; it requires a serious commitment and an action plan to match. Simply making a resolution to do this lacks the depth of substance needed to sustain such a feat. And, if you include partners in this, things can get interesting very quickly. 

Misalignment, miscommunication, confusion and power-tripping are some of the issues that can arise quickly when starting a business becomes a haphazard task. 

If you really want to start a business, don’t make resolutions, set goals and make plans.

 

5.   Get Out of Debt

You’re not going to get out of debt until you stop the hemorrhaging. Many people claim they want to get out of debt – make the resolution to do so – only to continue spending in the exact same manner they did the year before. To top it off, they aren’t usually making any more money than they were making the year before.

Folks, getting out of debt is a serious undertaking – taking it lightly is undoubtedly a huge mistake. The main reason this resolution fails is because most people do not have a budget. They have absolutely no clue how and where their paycheck goes. They only know that they have way too much month left when the paycheck is gone. 

Another major hiccup is that many people are not willing to live without some of the things they want now so that they can get all the things they want later. Instant gratification rules the day for these folks and thus they remain in debt. The insane part is that many people who make this resolution year after year don’t understand why they are still in debt and getting in deeper. 

Simply put, this resolution will fail miserably if you do not want to give up anything or do anything differently.

 

6.   Find a Mate

In my experience, career-driven individuals usually suffer the worst of this resolution. These are the “busy people” of the world. Surely there is nothing wrong with pursuing your career – in fact I most certainly encourage it. The thing is that finding a mate requires that you put certain aspects of your life in the proper context. 

The truth is that most people who make this resolution do so because they think that it’s about time that they have a mate. After all, that’s what life is all about – finding someone with whom to share your dreams and goals. The issue is that this is definitely not a good reason to search for a mate because it can provide bad direction. 

Also, unless you are willing to actually make space in your life for a mate, one will not appear. You may think that things are supposed to fall into place after you’ve found your mate; however, this is not so. The frequency you generate must match with your heart and mind otherwise your mate will continue to elude you. 

If you are currently married to your career, your business, your church or any other activity or endeavor in your life – get unmarried first before pursuing a mate. It doesn’t mean that you let those things go – they are still important to you. It just means that you shift paradigms and put them into the proper perspective. 

In other words, how important is it for you to find a mate? To the degree that this matters to you, your efforts and actions will mirror the same.

 

7.   Exercise Forgiveness

Forgiveness tends to come the hard way most of the time; it is such a simple thing to do and yet it does not come easy. 

This is a resolution usually made when a transgression has been committed against you – some time has passed and yet it continues to eat at you. At some point the stigma of the situation becomes seemingly unbearable and forgiveness seems the best way to let it go.

The roadblock that most often pops up in these scenarios is that the person who needs to do the forgiving misconstrue why they are forgiving in the first place. Typically people believe that forgiveness is for the forgiven; however, the truth is that it is for the forgiver. Unless you recognize this simple truth, it becomes much more difficult to forgive, especially if the transgression was egregious and/or painful. 

If you do not understand forgiveness and its purpose, you will be less likely to truly exercise forgiveness. And, if you really believe that forgiveness is for the forgiven and you don’t believe that he/she deserves it – you will not follow through. You might say you will but your true colors will again come to rouse soon enough.

 

8.   Change Your Circle

A change of circle usually becomes warranted when you find that it is improbable that you will be able to make necessary personal changes while you continue to move in these circles. This can be very tough to follow through on – I have lived this one twice in my life and each time it was extremely difficult. 

Changing your circle can involve pulling away from family, friends and colleagues. You may have been hanging out with some of these folks most of your life and now in order for you to move forward, you have to remove yourself from these people. Yes – this is hard – I know. 

This resolution usually fails because the emotions that come along with doing this are often too much for the individual to bear. They are riddled with guilt, remorse and resentment all rolled into one. Accepting that nothing last forever and that with change sometimes hard decisions like these have to be made can be tough to swallow. 

In order to pull this off, you must be crystal clear about your objective and you must remove the emotions from the equation. If you are not able to do that, you will be hard-pressed to make the decision let alone take action to see this through. 

I don’t envy you if you have to face this challenge; however, I can tell you that of the two times I have had to do it, I am very happy that I did. Good luck! 
  

9.   Speak Your Mind

I have mentored and counseled many smart individuals whose main shortcoming was a lack of their own voice. They have all this tenacity and creativity bottled up inside but no courage to unleash them. 

The main reason this resolution fails is because people allow the fear of consequences to keep them in a box and dumb. The repercussion of such an act as speaking your mind is so great – in your mind – that you simply choose to clam up. 

Often, you hear individuals who make this kind of resolution say (after someone else snatches the thunder), that’s exactly what I was going to say. At this point of course, it doesn’t much matter whether you were going to say it or not. In fact, you’re better off not even letting others hear you say – “I was just going to say that.” 

Another reason this resolution fails is because many people don’t know how to express their thoughts well or they wait until it’s too bottled up and they explode. This usually leads to a “fight or flight” situation. 

If you want to keep this New Year’s resolution, remember this; speaking your mind requires 2 elements:

• Courage – grow a pair   
• Do what’s true for you and learn to live with the consequences – again – grow a pair 
   

“And that’s all I have to say about that.” – Forrest Forrest Gump.

 

10.   End a Relationship

This New Year’s resolution usually fails because of emotional confusion, withdrawal syndrome and fear. Often individuals continue a relationship in the hopes that things will change even though they don’t. This is the fundamental problem of bad relationships and why they tend to prolong. 

Many people continue to believe that one day things will miraculously change even though they do nothing differently. They don’t even so much as issue a real ultimatum – instead they tout empty threats that lose gas very quickly when the emotions come to a cool or in some cases – a boil.

The other factor is the fear of losing; even though the relationship may not be healthy, many people associate the end of a relationship as a loss. Some individuals even chalk it up as a failure rather than a change to move forward. If you cannot view the ending of a relationship as moving forward and all for the best without regrets, it will be difficult to end it. 

The bottom line is that unless you can truly understand why you need to let go; unless you can truly accept the fact that ending the relationship is the best for all parties involved; unless you can see it as a step forward, ending a relationship will be extremely difficult.

 

Phew… that was deep – now what?

Well, I have already written a couple of articles that can help you overcome the New Year’s resolution disease. If you want to discover how to set real goals and create the ultimate plan to achieve them, start by reading the following articles.

• How to Set Goals
• How to Achieve Your Goals

How to Consistently Achieve the Results You Desire

Have you ever noticed how some people almost always achieve the results they desire? How about you – do you often have the same kind of experience in your endeavors? If you do, that is an awesome thing! 

Most people, unfortunately, do not consistently achieve the results they desire. I am not trying to damper your mood; however, this is the simple truth. If you were to take a quick assessment, I am sure you too would conclude the same. Perhaps you’ve even noticed that you are consistently achieving undesired results in your own life. 

The good news is that there is hope for the leaders among us – you too can absolutely experience the thrill of achieving your goals on a consistent basis. Most probably, and if you have half a brain, you are not consistently seeing the results you desire because you are focused on the wrong things. Your energy is spent on the wrong activities and therefore, the results you achieve are not what you want. 

Following are my best insights on how to consistently achieve the results you desire. These 5 keys have always worked for me and I have also seen it work tremendously for others. There is no doubt that you will experience a profound, positive and impacting shift in the results you begin to achieve once you master these disciplines.

 

Key #1 – Know the objective

In order to consistently achieve the results you desire, you must know what your objective is. What is it that you are trying to accomplish? So often I observe individuals who fly by the seat of their pants and hope that things turn out well. 

If you want to make sure that you don’t waste yours and other people’s time, make sure that you know what the mission is. Have a clear picture in your mind as to what the end result is supposed to be. With this in mind, it will certainly help you make better decisions on the tools, resources and people you need to get the job done. 

If you are sketchy on the objective then the results you achieve will ultimately be sketchy as well. There is no way around it; of course you may find that occasionally, you end up where you’re supposed to flying blind; however, that because other people were removing the roadblocks. The day someone doesn’t show up for duty, you’re toast. 

The point is, the clearer you are on the objective, the better the choices you will make and the more likely it will be that you will achieve the results you desire. There is no question that the difference in the results you achieve will be significant if you simply know the objective. 

 

Key #2 – Create an action plan

Once you are crystal clear on your objective, it’s time to create an action plan. Achieving the results you desire on a consistent basis requires that you plan your moves. Every action you take towards your goal must be deliberate. Individuals who are successful at achieving the best results plan every move they make; they leave nothing to chance.

If you want to be part of this group, you must do the same. Just imagine the frustration that might ensue if you try to get to a new destination without the proper map or GPS to guide you. How many times do you need to get lost before you ask for directions or look them up? 

Objectives require planning and plan you must if you want to be successful. Your action plan is your guide; it tells you what actions to take next and also where you are in proximity to your goal. Your action plan is also where you place your dates and deadlines for meeting your objectives.

Individuals who consistently achieve the results they desire have no illusions about what is going on or where they are in their action plan. They keep a bird’s eye view on the process at all times; again, nothing is left to chance. 

If you don’t create an action plan, then your moves become random and that can quickly become confusing. Often people end up going round and round in circles when their actions are randomized. Disorganization and chaos quickly set in and the objective is usually left behind in the dust. 

When you have a clear objective and an action plan to match, your decisions become easier and your moves are much more precise. Your thoughts are uncluttered and your mind is fixed on the desired result.

  

Key #3 – Develop a flexible strategy

Objective – check… action plan – check… now it’s time to strategize. 

Without a good strategy, even the best laid plans will fail. You must develop a flexible strategy that will take you to your objective in the quickest, most efficient and effective way possible. 

By flexible, I mean that your plan must be easily adaptable. You have to be prepared to change your strategy mid-stream if some other factors change in the process. A great strategy is one that is built with anticipation of the unexpected. 

If this sounds like too tall a feat for you, don’t worry – there is a sure way to ensure that your strategy is as flexible as it can be. 

Many people develop strategies based mainly on a short-term view; the steps and tactics used are ones that may get you to the objective but then if something changes mid-process, it’s hard to adapt. A short-term view is only based on the things you can see and the factors that are presented. They do nothing for anticipating changes or preparedness is dealing with other factors that arise down the road. 

The best way to develop a flexible strategy is to ensure that it is grounded in correct principles – aligned with natural law. The steps and tactics then become merely the byproducts of the strategy meaning that the underlying principles of your strategy never change; however, the steps and tactics easily can. With your strategy built on the backbone of principles, it makes your decisions regarding the steps you take and tactics you use easier.

What exactly do I mean by developing a strategy grounded in correct principles? I am glad you asked. 

Here’s the deal… 

If we look at the Law of Momentum which says that one courageous action taken over and over again only gets easier, bigger and better as time goes on – it can easily tell you where to spend your time. Your strategy may include many different steps and tactics; however, you may find that one or two in particular yield much greater results more efficiently and in a more effective manner. What do you do? Do you continue to give the working strategies the same amount of time and energy or do you increase them on these and reduce on others that do not work so well? 

You may be surprised to know how many people don’t even think this is important. It’s as if you are given a budget for a particular project with fixed monies allocated to different tasks and no matter how much more productive doing one of these tasks is, the money manager won’t move funds around to provide more support for the more productive option. That is crazy to me – BUT – that’s just me. 

The point is that when you develop a strategy based on correct principles, it becomes much easier to change the steps and tactics you take and use to achieve your objective. The result is what matters most – how you get there is an evolving animal. That is why your strategy needs to be grounded in correct principles so that the how is only compiled of right action and nothing adverse that will undoubtedly come back to haunt you.

 

Key #4 – Execute Efficiently

Efficient execution is often overlooked or underplayed when it comes to achieving objectives. This is because the term is often misunderstood or not used at all in any form. 

To execute efficiently, you must understand exactly what it will take to achieve the results you desire. Although these can change as the process evolves, it is important that you make it a point to understand the tools, resources and people you will need. If you understand these, you will know exactly what to do, when to do it and whom should do it. 

Part of efficient execution involves knowing your strengths and weaknesses. For the parts of the strategy where your strengths apply, spend most of your personal time in these areas. For the parts of the strategy where you are weaker, employ others, use resources – simply put – ask for help. 

As Stephen R. Covey puts it, “the true pinnacle of excellence does not lie in our independence but in our interdependence.” The better and more effectively we can work with others, the greater the results we will achieve. 

If you want to execute your strategy efficiently, make it a priority to know how and where the pieces fit. Know whom to delegate different tasks to and also when to employ different tools and resources. The better you are at this, the better your execution and the better the results you will yield.

 

Key #5 – Smash the status quo

If you want to be in the class of individuals that consistently achieve the results they desire, observe the masses and do the opposite. Individuals who fight to keep the status quo create nothing greater than themselves – that’s a fact. This doesn’t mean that the current process isn’t working – it just means that you are the type of person that is always looking for more creative and effective ways to do something. 

Seth Godin, one of my favorite authors, calls these types of individuals “heretics” – the leaders of tomorrow. 

Be a heretic; the status quo is there for the risk averse – the people who accept mediocrity. The status quo is also there for leaders like you to smash to bits with the next great idea. 

The reason this is important in consistently achieving the results you desire is because not all strategies work – not all plans come to fruition. Knowing that you can do things differently is what separates winners from losers. Just because something didn’t work doesn’t mean it can’t – it simply means you need to modify your plan and/or your strategy. 

There nothing worse than doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That’s the Japanese definition of insanity – it’s also mine because I think that’s nuts. 

If you are not willing to learn from your mistakes and failings, change the things you need to and lead with creativity and passion, it will be very difficult for you to consistently achieve the results you desire. Don’t fool yourself into believing that failure is anything but and event from which you can learn and grow. If you are not going to change, you might as well stop trying right now. You’d only be wasting your time achieving nothing worthwhile; just the same old misery. 

Simply going with the flow and upholding the status quo is like living in a box; and if you live in a box, you think in a box. If these are the results you desire – no worries – you just wasted about 10 minutes of your mediocre life. If however you want to achieve great things, endeavor to learn, change and grow. You will undoubtedly achieve the results you desire much more consistently.

The Law of Attraction Exposed

The Law of Attraction is probably one of the most written about principles and there is no doubt that it is warranted. Not just because it is an absolute truth but also because many people still have no clue how it applies to their lives. Many people still don’t understand how this natural law works or even that it works at all. 

Firstly, whether you believe that the law of attraction works or not is absolutely irrelevant. Why? Because it simply does not matter that you believe it or not – it merely exists. It is a principle – a natural law and therefore it exists and functions infinitely and indefinitely with or without your belief in it. It affects you every single second of every day whether you want it to or not. 

Secondly, how the law of attraction affects you is absolutely up to you. While you are not able to control the function of any principle, you can certainly influence how they affect you. This is your choice whether you know it or not – it is entirely up to you how the law of attraction plays into your life. 

That being said, here are 4 elements to help you understand how the law of attraction works and how you can influence its role in your life.

 

1. We are not necessarily what we think about

Contrary to what many believe, we are not necessarily what we think about. The reason for this is that we often think things that we don’t truly believe. Simply thinking about something does not cause it to manifest in your life; you have to truly believe it. 

When teachers and scholars say, “we are what we think about”, it is actually an incomplete statement. The missing piece of that is the part about belief. Do you really believe the things that you think about? What ever thoughts are hard-wired into your core will manifest in your life. Often you will find people confused about the things that occur in their lives simply because they do not understand that their true beliefs are the cause. 

It doesn’t matter what you think if you don’t believe it.

 

2. We are whatever frequency we generate

Just as it is certain that we are not necessarily what we think about, it is certain that we are and become whatever frequency we generate. To the degree that you emit certain energy, the manifestation will match. 

Simply put, if you think about something that you absolutely believe your energy will also send out the same signal thereby attracting other like signals to you. This is the power of the law of attraction. Like energy attracts like energy – not just like thinking – but like frequency. 

It is no different than the way police radios work; they all have to be on the same channel generating the same frequency otherwise they won’t be able to communicate. What often clutters up and/or distorts this frequency is our disbelief. 

Think about Murphy’s Law for a second…

This is a myth that says that whatever can go wrong will; it is usually applied when your day starts on what is in your eyes a bad note. From that moment on you begin to believe that every thing else in your day will go wrong and so it does. The truth is that there is no Murphy’s Law – this is simply the Law of Attraction in action. 

You see, no matter how many good thoughts you think during this day that started on a bad note for you, it won’t matter if your belief and your frequency don’t match. In fact, your level of frustration may go through the roof as you begin to wonder what the hell you’re doing wrong. After all, you’ve had nothing but positive thoughts all day and yet – CRAP keeps on happening. 

The real question you should be asking in a situation like this is – did I really believe the positive thoughts I was thinking? Was my energy truly positive or was I just masking my true beliefs?

The law of attraction doesn’t care what you think – only what you believe which dictates the frequency you generate.

 

3. We receive what we believe

Haven’t you ever heard someone say “I’ll believe it when I see it?” perhaps you’ve even said it yourself. This is not true of course. Contrary to popular belief, “seeing is not believing – believing is seeing.” 

We receive what we believe. This is often the missing piece of the puzzle for those who would believe that the law of attraction is bogus. They often put sight before faith. Nothing manifests without first having belief present – this is a natural law – a universal principle. If you don’t believe something is going to change in your life, nothing will. If something does change in your life that you truly did not believe would, it was influenced by others and it certainly won’t last beyond their beliefs. 

Your belief is absolutely crucial to the results and things that manifest in your life. There is no point is simply thinking about things and changes if you do not believe they will happen. If you believe they won’t – it pretty much a certainty that you are right.

 

4. Thought follows belief

How the law of attraction affects you is strictly up to you. This is because you can control what you believe and the thoughts that enter your brain. Sure, it takes some practice to shut off the unwanted thoughts; however, with practice, you will get better. 

Besides, the more important factor is to focus on what you truly believe. A good way to start this process is to go with bite-sized chunks at first. In other words, don’t think about becoming president of the company while you are an assistant manager – it may be hard for you to believe. Instead, think about what the next promotion would be like to manager and then focus on what it will take to make it happen. Being a much more attainable goal – it will be instantly more believable. 

After you’ve had a few successes under your belt – start stretching your dreams a bit further each time. The goal is to ensure that your thoughts follow your beliefs. Make sure that you really believe the thoughts you entertain otherwise it will be difficult to manifest them physically.

You have the power to choose your beliefs and your thoughts so focus on making them the right ones.

How to Set Goals

I use to truck through the year trying to achieve New Year’s resolutions that I had set since the last Christmas holiday. It seemed like a good way to go about achieving my goals at the time, especially since most other people I knew were also doing the same thing. 

For the most part, I would fail to stick to or achieve about 99% of the resolutions I had set. This obviously used to frustrate me to no end because I just couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. It took a while for me to reach the other side of this major pain and on to more tranquil pastures; however, once I discovered the problem, things immediately changed. 

Through my fervent pursuit of personal growth and development, I was introduced to an awesome book by one of my favorite authors and speakers, Stephen R. Covey. It’s called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which I highly recommend. This book absolutely changed the way I viewed many things – and one thing in particular – Goal Setting. 

What I learned from Stephen Covey about setting goals is that if you neither know why you’re doing something, how you plan to do it nor by when you plan to have it done – it simply won’t happen. This, as it turned out, was my very problem. I was not used to defining the why or the roadmap of achieving my goals. 

It is like this article you are reading right now – I have a specific goal in mind for it and I know exactly how I plan to do it. That being said, the goal of this article is to help you understand the importance of setting goals as well as a guide on how to set them so that you are successful in your endeavors.

 

Why it’s important to set goals

Setting goals is important because it keeps your eye on the ball – keeps you focused. It helps you to discern what is and isn’t important to you much more easily. This is how you make good decisions about how and where to target your energy. 

When you set goals, it gives you a much keener sense of clarity and direction. Goal setting is crucial to helping you define your purpose – your mission and how you plan to achieve the results you desire. 

People who do not set goals are easily prone to disorganization, unfocused and confusing thoughts and actions. It can lead you in a vicious circle of frustration if you have not laid out a plan for the results you want to achieve. Without goals, you can easily become overwhelmed which leads to aggravation and disappointment. Not setting goals is like setting yourself up for failure. 

If you want to consistently achieve the results you desire and fulfill your goals and dreams, make goal setting a consistent part of your life. Give it the time and energy it deserves. I guarantee that you will see significant and profound positive changes in the results you achieve. You will also be a lot less frustrated because of it. 
 

All true goals have a specific why

True goals all have a specific reason for setting them. The “why” of a goal is the fuel that drives the thoughts and actions in achieving it. It must be personal and important to you in order to maximize the results. 

The “why” of a goal must also be as specific as possible; even if there is more than one reason – be specific. The more specific you are, the more acutely you can focus which will in turn yield much better results. 

There are 2 questions you must ask yourself in order to get to the true “why” of a goal.

1. What is the goal? – First you must clearly define what it is you are trying to accomplish and be as specific as possible. A good rule of thumb to apply is the shorter the term of the goal, the more specific you want to be. In other words, long-term goals (12 months+) can be in broader strokes and short-term goals (less than 6 months) needs more narrow strokes.

 

2. Why is this goal important to you? – Secondly, you must decide why this goal is important to you. Again, you must be specific. By specific, I mean, make sure you know what change in your life will happen if you achieve this goal; how your life will be positively impacted. Of equal importance; make sure you know what negative changes will happen in your life if you don’t achieve this goal – again, this will keep you focused.

  

Take full responsibility for how you achieve your goals

Once you’ve set your goals and you know why you’ve set them, it is up to you to figure out how to achieve them. How you achieve your goals rests with you and not others. Often, people set goals and then blame others when things don’t turn out the way they would like them to. 

No matter what you think – if you do not achieve your goals – it is because of you. There is a reason you set your own goals; they are important to you. In that vein, you should also accept full responsibility for achieving them. This does not mean that other people can’t help you – in fact, I encourage and implore you to seek the help of others. The point is that whatever happens, the choices you make will determine the results you ultimately achieve. 

There are 2 questions you must ask yourself in order to decipher the best “how” of achieving your goals.

1. Do I have everything I need to achieve my goal? – This means that you have to examine the people, tools and resources you have available to you and decide whether or not they are enough to help you reach your goal. Take nothing for granted and leave no stone unturned in this process. The good news is that this part of the process can easily evolve and you can add and delete as necessary. If the answer to this question is “NO” or your resources become inadequate, then you will need to address question 2.

 

2. What additional people, tools and resources do I need to help me achieve my goal? – Again, take nothing for granted in this process. You want to make certain that you are connecting with the right people, have all the right tools and access to the right resources that will help you achieve the results you desire.

 

It’s not real unless it’s dated

When was the last time you got something important done accurately and in a timely manner that you didn’t date? You know what I mean – I’m going to clean out the garage or I’ll fix the leaky pipe and the list goes on and on.  The important question to ask is – WHEN? 

Your goal isn’t real until you know when you plan to achieve it. You have to put a date on all your goals. It gives you more focus and also a sense of urgency. Most importantly, it places high value on your time and efforts. Psychologically, dating your goals helps you keep the end in mind which will fuel your drive to excel. 

Declaring that you are going to start your own business without a date of when you plan to do it doesn’t do much to motivate you or anyone else for that matter. Without a time frame on the ultimate prize, you’re just puffing hot air which makes you nothing but a wandering, wishing windbag. 

If you wish for something without a plan to act on it, plan to spend a lot of your pennies at the wishing well. Unless you plan to act, nothing will happen – the genie does not come out when you rub the lamp to grant you 3 wishes. 

The reason I’m driving so hard at this point is because it is vital that you understand the importance of putting dates on your goals. Dating will drive you to excel and fuel your motivation to keep marching on day after day through thick and thin. Additionally, a date will help you better define the actual steps you need to take and when you need to take them. 

Make sure that you decide WHEN you will achieve the goals you set.

 

A caveat about commitment

All of the above will undoubtedly help you to set and achieve your goals in a much more effective manner. In that vein, make sure your level of commitment matches the importance of your goals. It is easy to forget why we are doing something when we get caught up in the world wind of life. 

Here’s a tip I learned very painfully many years ago – WRITE IT DOWN! You will be amazed at how much your level of commitment increases when you write down your goals – put it on paper and review it often. I usually go over my short-term goals once a week and the long-term ones at least once a month. 

Things can change so quickly that in order for you to stay on top of what you want to achieve, you need to look at it frequently. Somehow, seeing your goals in writing does a great deal to galvanize your resolve and determination. It serves as a refueling mechanism especially since we can be so easily distracted by life. 

If you want to do yourself a great service and stay focused, write down your goals and the outline of how and when you plan to achieve them. I guarantee that this will make a huge difference in the results you achieve if you review them often enough. Find an interval of review that suits you or simply do it when you need a boost in your spirit. 

Forget about making empty promises to yourself and coming up with meaningless resolutions. Do something worthwhile and make a real difference in your life – set goals and then take action to achieve them. No one else is going to do it for you.  

 

Failure Is an Event, Never a Person

People often victimize themselves whenever they feel that they have failed at something. Some people take it so hard that they become dejected and depressed because of it. This perception of failure always does way more damage than mending and nothing is usually learned from it. This is a total waste in my view. 

The goal of this article is to help you view failure for what it really is and to understand how imperative it is to your personal growth and success. 

First of all Failure is an event, never a person. It is a part of life; something that occurs when you don’t quite hit the mark you aimed at. There are degrees of failure; however, in the end failure only serves one important purpose – to teach. 

It is through our failures that we learn the most about how to succeed. When you fail at anything, your greatest opportunity is to find the lesson in the failure. It’s time to start asking the right questions; what could I have done differently? Why didn’t it work the way I expected? 

The hard part of this is that many people, and I have mentored some through the process, do not think of failure as an occurrence but more as a personal defect. Most people usually internalize these disappointments causing them to be blind to the valuable lessons. In this vein, they learn nothing and then wonder why the same thing keeps happening over and over again. 

If you learn nothing from your failures, how will you know what not to do the next time you try? How will you know what to do better? 

If you think of failure as an event, you can be more objective and pragmatic in your response to it. You will be able to look for clues as to what may have impeded your success. If you do not internalize it as a personal letdown but think of it more as a lesson to help you grow, you will be able to make improvements much more quickly. 

I don’t think that there has ever been any truly successful person in history that did not known failure. In fact, many successful people will tell you that it was in their failures that they found their greatest and most innovative ideas. For some, it was fun to try and top the last failure every single time. 

The point is that to know true success and achieve at a high level, you must get to know failure. This is how we learn and grow. When failure becomes an event in your life and nothing more, the knowledge you will receive will be invaluable. 

You are not a failure; although your actions and your performance may have caused you to fail at something, it’s still just an event. Even when you fail yourself by not trying as hard as you can and doing your best, you are not the failure – your actions are. 

Think of it this way… if you were a failure, how could you change? If you are this thing which means malfunction, stoppage, breakdown and collapse, how would you change these things? You see although all of these things can occur, they can never be you because you have the ability and the choice to change. This is why Failure is an event, never a person.

As far as your personal growth and development, failure is imperative in improving this in your life. Failing means that you are trying and trying means that you are active and if you are learning in the process, success is sure to follow. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail as long as you learn from it each time and then pick yourself back up for another round. 

Let me give you an example from my own experience. 

I started this blog in April 2009 and from day 1 I decided not to spend any money on marketing. That means that I have had to find other strategic ways to get the word out about my blog. That being said, I still have not yet found the right grove as of the writing of this article (December 2009); however, I learn from each avenue I try. I learn what works and what doesn’t. 

Each and every single time I’ve failed to hit the mark with my goals for this blog, I learn something. It keeps me grounded and focused; I’ve also had my reality checked a few times from having lofty expectations. The point is that I certainly don’t internalize any of these hard knocks as a personal letdown. I know what my goals are and what I want to achieve with this blog and therefore everything I do is to learn more and more about the right and the wrong things to do to make that happen. 

As of November 2009, even though I haven’t found the right grove yet for my marketing strategy, my articles generally rank in the top 20 or top 30 on Google for my article keywords. It took 7 months of tinkling and tweaking to get to that point; a lot of trial and error; however, I have learned so much. Most importantly, I really had fun. 

In the next 7 months, I’m looking forward to being in the top 10.    

The point is that unless I was willing to go through that trial and error and learn from what happened, I would not be able to achieve what I had in 7 months. Some people may be able to do it faster and it may take some a little longer – it doesn’t matter. I am not a victim of things that don’t work out the way I want them to. As long as you do your best, you should feel good. 

If you think of yourself as a failure, then everything else about you will also fail. Your attitude, your work ethics and your confidence – these will also fail. If you’re still wondering why you almost never win, start examining the way you think of yourself. 

Just remember that each time you fail, that is the universe’s way of telling you it’s time for school. There are reasons why we fail and only in the event of that failure can you truly discover how to succeed in your goal. Just because you failed does not mean that you are a failure – it means that you can learn, grow and try again. Failures do not detract from who you are but instead take you one step closer to your ultimate goal. 

Failure Is an Event, Never a Person.  

 

The Ultimate Power

“Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.”  Sir John Dalberg-Acton 

At the time that Sir John Dalberg-Acton made this statement, it was in response to Pope Pius IX’s promulgation that the pope is in fact infallible – the year was 1870. 

Fast forward to 2009, I wondered if this quote still held water or if it ever held water at all. As I pondered it, I realized that although in many cases, Sir John Dalberg-Acton’s words may be undoubtedly true; it is also certain that in many cases it is not. 

People who understand true power know that it comes with a great responsibility in wielding that power. They also know that if you should turn a blind eye to that responsibility while you wield such power, it will eventually destroy you. This is not a scare tactic – promise. 
  

The truth is that, if you understand true power and you accept the great responsibility that comes with it, you were meant to have it and to wield it because you will do so in service to others. This is to say that power only corrupts irresponsible men and women and in so doing true power is eroded and is therefore no longer power in its most pristine form. True power requires both understanding and accountability in order to reach its full potential otherwise it becomes something else- tyranny perhaps or subjugation or worse.

 

Where Does the Ultimate Power Come From?

The Ultimate Power is natural and therefore innate to all human beings. We are all endowed with the capacity to develop and exercise the ultimate power. From the moment you are born, you have the opportunity to cultivate your ultimate power and watch it grow to its full potential. 

This is true no matter who you are, where you come from and what you know. YOU are endowed with the capacity to bring forth the ultimate power. The ultimate power cannot be given to or taken from you, you simply have to acknowledge its existence, understand it, accept the responsibility that comes with it and then endeavor to develop and wield it. 

It may sound oversimplified to you but don’t dismiss it too quickly just because it might sound a bit around the bend. I have personally experienced the shift when I have acknowledged, understood, accepted the responsibility and then endeavored to develop and wield it. It is one of the most incredible and fulfilling experiences of my life which I continue to enjoy. I exercise the ultimate power on a daily basis and it has proven to be integral to some of the most significant and profoundly positive changes in my life. I have seen what it can do when others have done the same. 

In essence, the ultimate power comes from being and so whether you want it or not, you have it. It’s up to you to let it lie dormant inside you or choose to bring it forth. 

 

What is the Ultimate Power?

The Ultimate Power is Choice. It is the ability to choose your response to all stimuli and to exercise free will. In fact, the ultimate power is required to develop and wield the ultimate power because like I said just a few sentences ago, you can either choose to let it lay dormant inside you or to bring it forth. This is a choice and this is the ultimate power. 

You are born with the capacity to choose, to exercise free will – this is the ultimate power. Surely, while you are a developing baby, you do not yet understand the power of choice but as you grow and become more self-aware, it becomes clearer and clearer. You begin to choose the types of food you like, the types of toys you like to play with, the television programs you like to watch, how you like to dress and the list goes on and on as you get older. 

The power of choice is natural and therefore innate to all human beings. It cannot be given or taken from you – it is yours from the moment you are born. Your parents, your family, your friends, your teachers and your environment may all influence how you make your choices but at the end of the day, the power of your choices remain yours and yours alone. 

That’s why even when you have had such tremendous influences in your life and you have been given a particular program growing up, you are still able to rewrite the program if at some point in your life the old program no longer works for you. You are the programmer – you can rewrite the program – you can exercise the ultimate power of choice to change the things you want to change in your life. 

There is no such position that you could be in where you have no choice. I think that it is absolutely outrageous for anyone to tell or insinuate to another that he or she has no choice. Of course you do – YOU always do. 

When people say your choices are either this or that, they are dead wrong. What about walking away – that’s a choice too, is it not? Sure, in a life and death situation you may be faced with only harsh or ugly choices where no matter what you choose, the situation won’t end well. These are extreme cases and even then, you still have choices albeit harsh and ugly ones BUT you still have them. 

Let’s go a step or two further with the ultimate power of choice. What about the way we relate to people and circumstances? Why do you allow people and circumstances to rob you of your ultimate power? 

The ability to choose your response in any given situation means that you are responsible for your actions – what you say, do, and your body language. If you react to people and circumstances, you effectively give them your ultimate power of choice. That’s why people are quick to say the devil made me do it; I could’ve made it if it wasn’t for the traffic; If she would just be a little nicer to me, I’d be able to get my work done. Lame…LAME…LAME! 

You are in control of your choices; you have the ultimate power to choose. If you take a proactive stance, then you can exercise your ability to choose your response; you can exercise free will regardless of what people say and/or do and regardless of circumstances. 

When you exercise the ultimate power you are saying that you are proactive and proactive people are not driven by what happens to them but by the things that they make happen. When you choose your responses neither people nor circumstances can take your ultimate power of choice. Your choices are based on principles and your value system which is made up of what matters most to you. When your values are grounded in correct principles, you will be able to understand power and accept the responsibility that comes with it. This is the ultimate power. 

Do you see how powerful this is? Just try it in one situation in your life in which you’d like to have a different outcome. I guarantee you that you will see immediate and positive changes. 

Many people get caught up in the reactor of life and they consistently respond only when acted upon. They allow emotion to guide their responses as opposed to standing on their principles and living their values. When your direction comes from within and your choices are based on your values, you can deliberately choose your response in any given situation. The power is yours and you can develop it and exercise it at any time.

 

The Ultimate Power Is Absolute

Yes, it is! The ultimate power is absolute for everyone. We all possess the ultimate power and it is absolute because it can neither be given to nor taken away from you. It is as absolute as the right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. In fact, aside from life (simply because I can’t prove yet that it’s governed by choice), these rights are governed by the power of choice. Whether these were written in the Bill of Rights or not – these rights are still yours and the choice to pursue them is still yours. 

Think of it this way – there are many situations and positions in which you may have some kind of power. People may even revere or fear your power; if you are using it wisely and responsibly, people may even admire you for that. 

Here’s the thing though – power like this can be given or taken away. You may have to wrestle to do that in some cases BUT, it can definitely be given to and taken away from you. Surely, you may have done things to earn your position of power and yes you may even deserve to be in that position; again though, I have to stress it can be given and taken away. 

In the US, the president is probably by and large considered the man with the most power and even he can be booted from his position by the people. He was put there by the people and he can certainly be removed by the people. This example is a tad oversimplified but I’m sure you get the gist. 

Clearly, no powers that can be given or taken away are the ultimate power – NO. The Ultimate Power is absolute because it is present the moment you are born. Yes, it takes time to develop and to realize that you do in fact have the capacity to wield it but nonetheless it is always there – CHIOCE. No one can ever give or take away your choices. In fact, I think it’s an audacious position to take when someone asserts that he is giving you a choice in a particular situation – this or that. This is utterly ridiculous! 

You are always free to choose… no one has to give you the choice. When someone says I am giving you a choice, what he/she is really saying is, these are the only options I want you to consider. That’s all well and good but what if you have something entirely different in mind? Aren’t you free to assert that as a choice? Aren’t you free to follow your choice and forego the ones given (I mean offered)?

Absolutely, positively and unequivocally YES! You have the ultimate power to choose what you want to do even if the choice was not included in the pot. You can simply choose to go your own way. I admit, sometimes all the choices you may be faced with are ugly and you simply try to choose the least evil among them. The fact still remains that choice is absolute – and it’s completely up to you. 

Choice is the ultimate power and it is absolute because no one can give or take it away from you. So go, start right now – exercise your ultimate power and watch your world change right before your eyes. This is a truly remarkable experience.

How to Always Make Good Decisions

Ever wonder why some people almost always seem to make good decisions in their lives? Have you ever wondered why the same has not been true for you? If you’re a decisive person, that’s awesome; what’s more is if you’ve been able to live happily with your decisions, even better.

The fact is though that many of us don’t often make good decisions in our lives; largely because they aren’t based on the correct principles or roadmaps. More often than not, decisions are made on impulse or because of external stimuli and not because it jives with our core values. This is a lesson I’ve learned much the hard way; however, once I learned it, understood it and began applying what I call the “Inner Compass”, I experienced a tremendous shift in power and freedom.

The inner compass is the director of your decisions; it lives on the backbone of your core values and is grounded in universal, timeless and unchanging principles. The reason this methodology is so powerful is because any action that is aligned with universal laws will always be sound; they are essentially irrefutable and absolute.

This does not mean that you cannot change your mind at any given moment; it simply means that no matter what decisions you make or when you make them, that they will align with universal, timeless and unchanging principles while also reflective of your core values and beliefs.

Making good decisions in our lives is obviously important because we are essentially the sum of the decisions (choices) we’ve made. Regardless of circumstances, conditions, other people and other external stimuli, we are where we are and have what we have because of the choices we’ve made in our lives. You are who you are because you chose it; whether consciously or unconsciously, the choice is still yours.

That being said then, let’s look at what it truly takes to make good decisions.

There are 5 key elements that you must put into practice so that they become habits in order to consistently make good decisions. Those who consistently make good decisions undoubtedly practice all of these regularly because without them, your decisions will almost always not achieve the results you truly desire.

1. Begin with the end you seek

Firstly, it is absolutely imperative that you know exactly what you are trying to accomplish. It may seem like stating the obvious but so often I have seen many people who make decisions, many of them important ones, without clearly defining what results they desire.

Beginning with the end you seek will allow you to clearly visualize the end you want to achieve. The importance of this is very significant because it fuels the “why” of your decision. If you don’t know the why, what will motivate you to fulfill your intent? In fact, without the “why”, will you even know what you intend?

If you begin with the end you seek, it will most certainly help you to map out your course correctly. It will help you easily figure out what tools you need, the people you need to contact, where you need to go and so forth. Only with the end in mind will you be able to effectively decipher how you will get there. The end you seek is your DESIRE; if you know not what you desire, how can you ever decide to fulfill it?

2. Know what you intend

Intention follows knowing the end you seek because one begets the other. When you know the end you seek, your intensions also become clearer; they are crystallized by the results you desire.

Additionally, knowing what you intend gives rise to the purpose of your intensions. When your intensions are grounded in right purpose and are in harmony with universal, timeless and unchanging principles, fulfilling them becomes a less circuitous road. If your intensions are not of pure heart, you must remember that you will reap what you sow; nothing more and nothing less.

Knowing your intensions also brings into scope the effects of your decisions. Will your intensions bring harm to others? Will they cause others distress… are they self-serving? Again, I know this doesn’t apply to you; however, even the seemingly purest of heart may at times succumb to certain circumstances. It is important to see your intent all the way through in your mind before you make a move.

The reason why “the road to hell is paved with good intensions” is because people often get caught up in what they meant to do as opposed to what they are actually doing. Simply put, intending something in your mind and your heart is utterly meaningless if your actions do not follow suit.

Knowing what you intend then, comes with the responsibility of the effects of your intensions and the will to follow through.

3. Walk the path completely

As one of my favorite artists sang in the 80’s “Ain’t no half steppin’.” There are simply no shortcuts in making good decisions; you must walk the path completely. Once you’ve made a decision and you know your desire and intent, you must now follow through with the actions to make it happen. So often, decisions are made but no action taken to bring them to fruition. This of course is pointless.

Again, this is not to say that you cannot change your mind once you’ve made a decision; it is simply to say that once you’ve made the decision, you must follow through in your actions or it won’t happen. The end you seek will continue to elude you and your intensions will consistently go unfulfilled.

No amount of positive thinking and attitude can replace action; without action, nothing will happen. That’s stating the obvious but again, it’s so often overlooked.

Walking the path completely means not caving in at the first sign of ridicule or rejection; it means not turning back just because others are not in favor of it; it means relying on your core values and beliefs, your inner compass, to guide you as opposed to external stimuli.

Even though we are all influenced by many people and many circumstances in our lives, a decision is never truly yours unless the desire to make it comes from within, not without.

4. Stick to what’s true for you

Although this element comes in at number four on my list, it is probably the most crucial element in your decision-making process. Doing otherwise always results in frustration, failure, resentment, dejection and the like. Sticking to what’s true for you, allows you to always be at peace with your spirit.

Have you ever made a decision because of someone else’s opinion or because of a circumstance only to find you don’t feel good about it – that you’re losing sleep over it? I’ve been there and done that and I don’t know about you but I hated it! These days, I appreciate the lesson it taught me. Do what’s true for you and learn to live with it.

When you stick to what’s true for you, you do not have to second guess yourself; you can face yourself in the mirror with your head up. Also, you can look others in the eye when you speak of it. This is what is meant by “the truth will set you free.” If you make decisions based on what is true for you, the freedom you feel is unmatched; you are completely without fear because you know in your heart that this is the best decision you can make.

Sticking to what’s true for you is what helps you consistently achieve the results you desire. It is because it’s true for you that your intent will be clear and righteous; you will walk the path in clarity and all your actions will be profoundly powerful because you are free of fear and doubt.

5. Accept the consequences

Stick to what’s true for you and learn to live with the consequences. All decisions, all actions carry with them, consequences. One of my favorite authors, Stephen Covey, puts it this way, “when you pick up one end of the stick, you also pick up the other.” There is no getting around it, when you make decisions followed by actions, natural consequences will occur whether you want them to or not.

This is the reason that it is so important to know your intent and to make sure your decisions affect you and others positively. Self-serving decisions will only lead to negative consequences; it always does. On the other hand, when you make decisions that are reflective of your core values and beliefs and that are grounded in universal, timeless and unchanging principles, you will reap positive consequences. You always reap what you sow; nothing more and nothing less.

A Final Caveat

One of the most common mistakes many people make when making decisions is to make self-sacrificing decisions. The problem is that when you sacrifice yourself, you automatically rob yourself and others of your true self and your full potential. If you are unable to follow through on your decision whole-heartedly, you will not achieve the results you truly desire.

Part of the problem is the misconception of what is truly self-sacrificing. Simply putting others’ needs before yours is not self-sacrificing, it’s human. The fact is we are all here to serve each other; therefore, putting others’ needs before our own is the ultimate gift which comes first in the hierarchy of human interaction. In this instance, the gift must be given whole-heartedly and without resentment or reticence; gifts are just that – gifts and not “quid pro quo.” A sure path to your success is helping others achieve theirs.

In my view, a self-sacrificing decision is more like a secret service agent jumping in front of a bullet to save the president’s life; that’s sacrificing you to save another. This is a Secret Service Agent’s job – to sacrifice his own life to save the president’s.  When you make decisions that serve your fellow man, that’s the ultimate humanity; that’s why we are here.

All of this is to say, consider yourself carefully when you make decisions; be certain that you can live with the choices you make otherwise the results of good decisions will continue to elude you.

Killer Series: Top 7 Sales Killers

Whether you know it or not, we are all in the business of sales. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, we all sell a products and/or services. One thing is for certain – we all sell ourselves. It could be to family, friends, colleagues and/or customers – it doesn’t matter – we all sell ourselves daily. 

I’ve already written an pretty insightful article on the 7 ways to add killer value to anything so I thought it appropriate to also make sure that you understand the flip side – what absolutely can kill your efforts to add killer value. The fact is that we are all killers – the only thing you need to figure out is which type of killer you are. Ultimately, you get to choose the type of killer you want to be. 

Whether you believe you are a killer or not – read on – by the end of the article I think you will have gotten a clear picture in your head.

Following are my best insights on the elements that undoubtedly will kill a sale. The information is derived from my years of experience in marketing, sales and training and developing people from all walks of life. 

These are the Top 7 Sales Killers.

 

#1 – Assumption

The moment you assume anything at all about a situation or a person, you’ve basically killed the sale before it has even started. Once you assume you make an ass-et out of you. 

If the desired result is to make the sale – add value to the situation or person – you won’t be able to achieve that outcome effectively if you’ve already decided you know-it-all. All preconceived notions must go out the window and you must come to the table with a clean slate. Your only goal should be to add value and create a new customer. 

Whether you’re selling a product or service or simply starting a new relationship wherein you’re selling yourself – any assumptions will defeat your purpose. It will rob you and everyone involved or the relationship’s full potential.

 

#2 – Cluelessness

 This goes without saying; people don’t buy from individuals who have no clue what they are talking about. If you don’t know your product or service and you don’t know what the customer wants or needs, you’re clueless and in there eyes – USELESS! 

Before you attempt to make any sale, make sure you have all your information – your facts – straight. It is also crucial that you know the most relevant information about your customer. This way you can relate to him/her better – this is a key element in adding value. Simply put – you’d better know your stuff or end up getting stuffed. 

In short – GET A CLUE!

 

#3 – Judgment

Judgment is the brother of Assumption because it limits your range. It creates barriers to the sale when you come with preconceptions of any kind. Judgment though also takes another form that can be detrimental to a sale. 

If your customers happen to use your competitor’s product or service and you bash your competitor, they will see that as a judgment – like you’re bashing them. Instead of judging, try overcoming the competitor’s product or service by offering more, better or faster service. Show your customers why doing business with you will benefit them more. 

Any judgment of your customers or the products they use will diminish your standing in their eyes no matter how good your intentions are. You will not only lose the sale but most probably a customer for life.

 

#4 – Insincerity

If your heart is not in the right place, how can you act in the best interest of your customers? Authenticity goes a long way in forging strong bonds of loyalty and respect. Insincerity will eventually rare its ugly head and that will seal your fate and kill the sale with that customer. 

The fact is that, people don’t care what you think until they know that you care. Unless you have your customers’ best interest at heart don’t bother attempting the sale. Even if you make one or two sales to one customer as a sheep in wolves’ clothing – your deeds will soon come to roost and your reputation will suffer dire consequences.

 

#5 – Indifference

Indifference is about the lack of conviction in the products or services you offer. If you don’t believe in yourself or what you do, why should your customers? If you waiver or blow from one stance to the next without rhyme or reason, your customers will be wary and leery of your motives.

When it comes to being a killer salesperson, you cannot afford to be neutral; one of the reasons top sales people do so well is that they are able to rally others to a cause. Your ability to do that will be significantly hampered if you are indifferent and your customers won’t be able to trust your word.

 

Why should people do business with you? If your answer on one hand is six and half dozen on the next – you aren’t saying much. That position is weak and only shows that you don’t really care either way so long as you make a buck. The sale will die a fast and painful death because of your lack of conviction. 

You may have heard the saying before “If you stand for nothing, you will most certainly fall for anything.” That’s no joke – you will undoubtedly kill the sale if you are indifferent.

 

#6 – Dishonesty

If judgment is the brother of assumption, then Dishonesty is the sister of Insincerity. These two go hand-in-hand; from the moment you are insincere, more than likely, you are also dishonest. Once this demon is discovered, there will be no sale – EVER! 

It goes without saying that in order to build a circle of loyal customers; they must be able to trust you. You must always act in their best interest, say what you mean and do what you say you will do. If you falter on this priority, your sales are doomed. 

Surely, you may be able to make a few sales through your dishonesty but again – this will eventually catch up to you. The longer it takes to come back to you, the more severe the consequences will be to your business and to your reputation. Your reputation is all you have; it takes time to build a really good one; however, you can easily destroy it in the blink of an eye.

Once you have been dishonest and your deception has been discovered, you will be hard pressed to find your road back to your former self. Not only will you have killed this sale but also jeopardized future sales as well. What can I say – word gets around fast.

 

#7 – Doubt

If you don’t believe it, why should anyone else? It is a very simple concept; without your belief in your product or service, you cannot be an effective salesperson. You will never be a top performer when you come from a place of doubt and disbelief. 

Customers see through this thin wall very quickly and just as quickly they will take their business elsewhere. Doubt shakes the ground you walk on and causes those around you to feel insecure. If I do not feel that my assets will be protected by you or that you even know how, I won’t do business with you.

Don’t sell or offer any product or service you would not use or give to your family to use. This is a great way to benchmark the products and services with which you align yourself. 

Confidence and belief is of utmost importance when it comes to making the sale; you must be able to stand by what you say and do and be prepared to back it up. There is no substitute for confidence and belief and once you exude that your customers will feel it too. Either way - it’s contagious.

 

There you have it…

These are the top 7 sales killers. What kind of killer are you? One who kills the sale or one who adds killer value? I suggest you figure it out before your next sales pitch. 

 

Killer Series: 7 Ways to Add Killer Value to any Product or Service

If you ever wonder why some people are so good at what they do or how some of the top sales people are making the numbers everyday, this is an article you need to read. Top performers have all mastered one thing – How to add Killer Value to their product or service. 

There is a zoo in Denver that had a dilemma when it was just about ready to open its gates to the public. The management realized that the cost of removing the exotic animal waste from the property was not only going to be astronomical but also leave a big footprint on the environment. Determined to find a better way, the leader of this team charged the entire management team to figure out the best way to reduce the cost of this liability as well as make a smaller footprint on the environment. 

No small feat if you asked me. 

Nonetheless, the team went to work brainstorming ideas on how to make this happen. By the time the zoo opened, they had devised a plan and implemented what I believe was the most awesome solution. 

At this Denver zoo today, you can buy garden manure called Zoop; I’ll let you guess which 2 words make up “Zoop.” Essentially, rather than paying exorbitant amounts of money to hall away the waste and create all sorts of toxins in the environment, the management decided to simply package the waste in the form of manure to be sold as fertilizer to anyone with a garden. Needless to say, the lines are frequently out the door with patrons purchasing Zoop in droves. 

Another zoo in Kansas City, MO repeated this same idea opting to call their product Zoo Manoo. Either way, this is definitely high on the scale of adding killer value. 

The point is that if you can add value to animal poop, you can definitely add value to anything. 

The goal of this article is to provide you with a step-by-step guide to adding killer value to your product or service, assuming of course that people want or need it. 

You may categorize them differently; however, there are basically 7 ways you can add Killer Value to any product or service. The ability to implement any one or a combination of these ideas will instantly improve the value of anything. 
  

#1 – Bigger

Bigger refers to quantity; you can always do more of or make it bigger than the competition. If you want to outdo the other guy, creating a bigger fanfare or doing more of the same will instantly add value. In this case size does matter and people appreciate it. There is a reason why those “All You Can Eat” restaurants do so well. It’s not about the portion you get; it’s about the value it adds knowing that you can eat to your heart’s content for a very reasonable price. 

In the case of adding killer value, BIGGER can definitely be a good thing

#2 – Better

Obviously it would add value to your product or service if you can do it better than everyone else. Whatever it is that you sell or whatever service you provide, consistently seeking ways to do it better will instantly set you apart from the rest of the pack. Better is about quality and research shows that most people will gravitate to other people and companies if they know for certain that the quality is better. 

Certainly many decisions are based on price; however, for the most part people will value quality over price especially if the product or service is within their budget. 

Don’t misconstrue the point here; I’m not saying that people will go out and drop their Honda to buy a Mercedes – not at all. I am saying however, that people will most likely purchase a Honda Accord versus a Chevy Malibu just based on quality. These cars are both in the same class; however, Honda is definitely known for producing a better quality car. 

#3 – Faster

Speed is definitely a plus in adding killer value; the faster you can provide something, the better. People love instant gratification so if you can find a way to deliver your product or service faster than the other guy, you’re golden – your customers will love you for it. 

Of course, your quality cannot suffer for the sake of faster delivery; otherwise, your purpose will be defeated. 

Adding killer value with speed simply means that you are able to deliver the same or better quality product or service at a faster rate than your competition. Now that’s killer value! 

#4 – Innovate

Why you? How are you uniquely different from the other guy and why should I give you my business? This is what it means to innovate; you must find a way to deliver your product or service differently.

This is where creativity comes in; innovation is how you stay ahead of the pack. When you consistently seek new ways to improve your product or service, the value is immediately recognized. You are definitely in a top class when you are able to do this consistently and successfully. 

#5 – Niche

Killer value is instant if you can find a niche and then figure out how to tailor your product or service to fit that niche. Keep in mind that the niche needs to be big enough to sustain your growth; however, once you have identified such a space in the market, you can easily begin to add value. 

People love to feel special therefore exclusivity of any kind can carry extremely high value. Just like the Denver Zoo found a niche in exotic animal waste, you can also find a lucrative niche in your market. The fact is that any animal waste can be processed to be used as fertilizer; however, exotic animal waste is more appealing to a certain group and you have to visit the Denver Zoo to get your own ration of Zoop! 

That is definitely a niche and adds killer value using several of the killer ways mentioned in this article.

 

#6 – Personality

You can always add killer value by making your product or service more fun or more serious or more creative depending on your target audience. If it’s more fun to do or to use, many people will recognize that as instant value. 

Chucky Cheese has made a significant impact in making children’s party’s more fun! You simply show up with all the children, eat the foods they provide and enjoy the fun activities available all for a reasonable price. The best part is they do all the work including the clean up which we all hate. If that’s not adding killer value, I don’t know what is. 

It may seem simple but, it really does work. Why do you think Chucky Cheese has been so successful? 

Whenever we entertain at home, the clean up is always the most dreaded part. Each time we do, we always wish we had someone else to take care of that part especially…
       

#7 – Relatable

If you can make your product or service more relevant to your target, you can add instant value. The more you can resonate with your customers, the better. Identity is important and one of the most valuable things that any service provider or manufacturer can do is to find ways to relate to their customers. 

When you deliver your product or service in a way that speaks to the identity of your customers, killer value is instantaneous. 

Here’s the skinny…

If you manufacture a product or provide a service where you are unable to implement one or a combination of these strategies, perhaps it’s time to consider selling or doing something else. If killer value ca be added to exotic animal waste (POOP), you can add killer value to just about anything.

Don’t be lazy – your customers deserve better and until you recognize that – you don’t deserve more no matter what you think. 

You have either heard me say it or read it in my articles – to achieve killer success, all you have to do is to find a way to create and distribute value to others through your gifts and talents. 

It is a simple concept to grasp so start grasping. I didn’t say it was easy to do – just simple to grasp. If it were easy, everyone would do it – but then that would be boring and make for a dull world. The truth is I wish everyone would do it but the fact is only 1% will. 

Where do you fall?   

 

The Epiphany of Complete Success

There are numerous definitions of what success means; it has become such a subjective topic that in some respects the meaning of success seems meaningless. Depending on your school of thought and the lens through which you view this idea, it can take many forms. There is no doubt that you can succeed on different levels and in different areas of your life BUT – how do you measure and define it?

 

This topic has been thoroughly studied and viewed from all different angles. I have studied my own successes to see if I could figure out the reasons I was successful in the first place. I deliberated the behaviors of other successful individuals and I looked to my mentors for answers. I searched the faces of some of the most influential individuals of our time to find the formula.

 

Surely there were characteristics and behaviors that all successful individuals had in common; however, most were still so different from one another in their approach and modus operandi.

After a while I realized that the one thing that had always eluded me was how to remain successful. What was it about successful people that made them remain that way?

And then it hit me…

 

I was barking up the wrong tree – looking at this topic all wrong. It isn’t about what they do that matters, it is the why. I didn’t realize this until it happened to me – until I had my own epiphany of complete success.

 

The day I experienced the epiphany to start this blog and pursue my public speaking dream was the day I became a complete success. It wasn’t at all about what I was going to do or what I was going to earn or anything else – it was all about the why. My success came from within which is where all successful individuals derive complete success – from within.

 

That being said, I don’t want to leave you high and dry; there are some important elements that make up this epiphany. It’s not like it just happened to hit me in the head like a rock. I had been heading down this path for a long time and didn’t know it. It only became clear to me because I was finally keenly aware of who I am and how I want to live my life.

 

As I pondered success more deeply and broadly, I realized that there are certain elements that are always present before during and after one has attained complete success.

 

The goal of this article is to help raise your awareness to these elements so that you can more easily recognize your success when it shows up. The fact is that we all have the ability to achieve complete success – the sad thing is that 99% of people will not – only because they refuse to wake up when it comes knocking. Most people will remain completely unconscious and incompetent when it comes to realizing their true gifts and talents that would ultimately help them achieve the success they ought to have. I’m sorry if that’s too much of a negative statement coming from a personal growth and development blog; however, this blog is also about truth and this is the truth as I understand it as of the writing of this article.

 

If it scares you to think that you may be a part of that 99% - don’t be. You’re reading this article which already puts you ahead of the pack because you are reading and learning. This means that you have a leg up so don’t break it.

 

I tell you that because I’ve broken my “leg up” a few times and it wasn’t fun; I let fear get the best of me – I let it win. The day I stopped letting fear win was the day I became successful and even on the days when fear won again, I knew exactly what I had to do to kick its ass and I have been kicking it ever since.

 

In order to truly experience the epiphany of complete success, these are the elements that must be present.

 

Know your true purpose

This is crucial to realizing your complete success. You must know your true purpose in life; we all have one. What this means is that you must endeavor to figure out why you are here in this life. How are you meant to impact the world? What legacy will you leave? How will you have made the world a better place for having been in it?

 

If this sounds too deep for you, perhaps you’re simply not ready to face the unchanging truth. The unchanging truth is that each person walks this life for a reason; a purpose only he/she can bring to the world. What has always been inside of you yearning to come out and play with the rest of the world?

 

It is harder to wrap your head around the concept of a true purpose than it is to actually recognize it. Once you accept the unchanging truth that you do have a purpose, you have only to think of the one thing you would do whether you earned a living from it or not; the one thing you would do just to see others happy for you having done it.

 

When you realize your true purpose and you embrace it, every step towards bringing that purpose to life feels effortless no matter how difficult it is. You continue to persevere simply because you know that you must and will continue to do so no matter what. That’s what realization of purpose does – it drives you to overcome every obstacle no matter how big.

 

The most important thing about knowing your purpose is that everything you do must reflect the true nature of that purpose; you must not deviate from its course in the pursuit of instant gratification. Your purpose in life is the most important thing because it will govern the way you behave in the other areas of your life.

 

What’s in it for others?

Once you’re convicted of your true purpose you now have to bring that to the world in a way that provides something the world needs. It challenges you to think deeply about what that special thing is that you have to offer the people in the world around you. You see, your success is not complete if you’re the only one enjoying it; if you are the only one deriving a benefit.

 

Complete success is about fulfillment in giving where others receive a great value from what you’ve given. All the other things that come along with success are simply byproducts of this universal and unchanging principle.

 

Think for a moment if you will…

 

Why is it that some people have so much money and yet no family or friends around them with whom to share it? These people often end up miserable, troubled and sometimes die way too young. When it happens, we tend to sit around and say things like “What did she have to be unhappy about? She was so rich!”

 

Was she really?

 

Sure by monetary standards, she may have been rich; however, without people with whom to share that wealth, she is just an empty vessel. Nothing is more important than nurturing our connection to others. All the money in the world can never make you happy or completely successful if you are alone; if you give no love and are shown no love.

 

For this reason, you must endeavor to figure out what’s so important and special about your gifts and then share them with the world. Sure, there may be many ways in which you can do this; however, in order to attain true success; complete success – this must be done.

 

Does it sound hard to get to this point?

 

Think of it this way…

 

How would you want to partake in your gifts if you knew someone else possessed them? What would motivate and excite you most about them? Often times, if you can answer simple questions like these, they will put you on the right track. Besides, you don’t have to get it completely right the first time – you just have to do it with the right mindset or as my friend and mentor Ann would say “do it with your heart.”

 

Create and distribute value

Once you’ve figured out what’s in it for others, now it’s time to find ways to create and distribute that value. Complete success requires that you consistently look for ways to send your message out to the world.

 

The truth is that when you’re on this path for the right reasons and your purpose is crystallized in your mind, it will unleash unimaginable creativity within you. The value that you distribute will increase a thousand fold because of it. This is what it means when YOU create and distribute value to others.

 

When you are in this mode, all the other byproducts ultimately fall into place. The more you do the more abundance you will receive.  It will consistently show up in different forms; money, family, friends and most importantly others paying forward what you given them. Nothing screams complete success like someone else you’ve touched paying it forward and touching others. Your circle of influence will grow exponentially and you will ultimately touch more lives than you can possibly imagine.

 

When you create and distribute value to others, the effects are rippling because people tend to duplicate such efforts and touch others because you’ve touched them. When you do what you love; when you are true to your purpose and you find ways to create and distribute value to others through your gifts, complete success must follow. It is an embodiment of all the universal and unchanging principles like the law of cause and effect; the law of belief and the law of momentum just to name a few.

 

I could go on and on about universal principles BUT, that’s for another article. For now, get the point. Success is not about money or power or any other byproduct of success. It is about the gift that you give to the world; it demands that the more you give it the more abundance you will receive so that you can give more. This is the epiphany of complete success.

How to Become a Highly Effective Problem Solver

Ever notice how some people almost always come up with great solutions over and over again – even in situations where there seemed to be no successful avenue? Ever wonder how it is that these people pull this off so consistently while simultaneously making it look easy?

These types of people are highly effective problem solvers; they know how to read a situation, discern what the real issue is and then provide creative solutions that lead to win/win outcomes. Individuals like this understand all too well the importance of addressing a problem at the root cause rather than supplying band-aids to cuts and bruises or prescribing medicine that address the symptoms only.

 

If becoming a highly effective problem solver sounds like a tall order to you – let me assure you that this is a skill you can learn as long as you’re open. Whether you think you are or not or you are simply seeking to improve on this area in your personal growth, the goal of this article is to arm you with the information you need to achieve the results you desire.

 

You will be able to not only come up with creative solutions to problems and/or issues but also reach people on a much deeper level than you have been able to in the past. There is no connection greater than the ones achieved when you reach another human being on the level that is most real to him or her. It opens up unlimited new avenues of possibilities in relationships and in life.

 

OK… so you might be thinking that I’m way too optimistic about the possible results you can achieve by becoming a highly effective problem solver… BUT… think about it for a moment.

 

Have you ever witnessed the transformation in people when you or someone else helps them solve a problem – especially one that has been a thorn for a while? They are immediately elated and simultaneously, their level of gratitude increases. In many cases, people feel the need to either repay you or pay it forward. It is inevitable that whenever you remove blockage in someone’s life, that person instantly becomes more open to possibilities that they could not see let alone believe while the blockage existed.

 

Highly Effective Problem Solvers are the types of people others are drawn to without even knowing or understanding why. It is the energy they emit that makes them magnetic and their circle of influence grows with each problem they help someone to solve. Highly Effective Problem Solvers understand that problems are not resolved by treating symptoms, you must focus on addressing the root cause. This is the only way to create solutions with long-lasting and positive impact.

 

If you truly desire to help others solve problems in their lives – stick around. I think you will find this article both enjoyable and informative. You will be able to apply the principles you read immediately and with practice, you will greatly improve your problem solving skills and begin to see profound, impactful and positive results in the lives of the people you help.

 

To become a highly effective problem solver, there are 3 elements of focus that when honed and sharpened will, in almost all cases, help you achieve profound, impactful and positive results. These 3 elements, all of Greek origin, are Ethos, Pathos and Logos.

 

First, let’s understand Ethos and how it applies.

 

Ethos encompasses your ethics and your reputation; the way you do things and how you’re viewed by others through your actions. Are you a person who truly desires to help others or are you just doing this for the glory?

 

Before a person can be truly open to listening to you and taking direction from you, he or she must first believe that your motives are genuine otherwise your words will fall on deaf ears. Highly Effective Problem Solvers are individuals who truly desire to help others improve their lives by helping them solve the issues that plague them. Even if helping others solve problems in their lives is not your sole purpose in life, once you’re in this mode, there is no doubt as to what is driving your actions.

 

Ethos demands that you earn the right to do what you do; that you be worthy of your audience’s respect. In some cases, your reputation will have preceded you and your authority will have been established by your title, accolades or some advanced promotion or introduction. Nevertheless, it is always important to provide a little detail as to why you are doing this; something that either establishes or solidifies your integrity.

 

This seemingly small thing will not only provide your audience a clear picture as to why they want to listen to you, it also penetrates the defensive walls people surround themselves with when they are feeling insecure. Furthermore, once the walls go down, people instantly become more open to receive the value that you bring to the table.

 

Now, let’s look at Pathos.

 

Pathos speaks to your capacity to empathize with others; feel their pain and truly understand their plight. In the role of helping others solve their problem, it is important that they believe first that you truly understand what they are going through. It’s simple really; if you don’t or can’t understand what your audience is going through, how can you possibly help them find the right solution? I’ve seen and heard so many people spew out high level advice with low level understanding.

 

To strengthen your Pathos, there are 3 basic listening principles you need to practice.

 

Firstly, remove all your pre-conceived notions or judgments about the situation. You must go in as a blank slate; a new canvas ready for a new drawing. This will increase your capacity to listen not only to what is being said but also to what is not which often times is more important. If you have no pre-judgments, you can truly act in the best interest of the individual you aim to help.

 

Secondly, you must endeavor to understand the plight of the person you are trying to help. Before you formulate any opinions, replies or advice, you must first seek to truly comprehend and appreciate the person’s situation. Once again, this only increases the value of what you will offer because when you truly understand the problem a person is facing, it gives rise to your creative self in providing the right solution.

 

Thirdly, clarify and restate what you’ve heard and understood; be sure to ask if your assessment is on point. This provides the person with room to either clarify further if you’ve missed the mark or simply smile in relief as he or she agrees that you have in fact hit the mark. More often than not, if you truly desire to help and you are truly listening with the intent to understand, you will hit the mark dead on.

 

Practicing these 3 listening principles will undoubtedly improve and strengthen your capacity for Pathos. It will show your audience that you are truly listening with the intent to understand as opposed to with the intent to reply. So many people miss what you are saying completely because they are too busy thinking of what they are going to say next.

 

When you strengthen your capacity for Pathos, your empathy will shine through and the person you are trying to help will recognize that you are actually in it with them; they will feel understood thereby making them open for your advice, direction and coaching.

 

Highly effective problem solvers are exceptional listeners; they understand that the reason they have two ears and only one mouth is so they can listen twice as much as they talk. In order to achieve your goals as a highly effective problem solver, you must aim to become an astute listener. Your goal is to hear as clearly in chaos as you do in silence.

 

Logos is automatically strengthened by improving Ethos and Pathos.

 

Logos speaks to your capacity for logic and reasoning. Your audience needs to feel sure that your advice is sound and your direction is focused. Highly effective problem solvers recognize that in order to truly help someone solve a problem, you must be able to marry the emotion with reasoning.

 

When you are exercising Pathos, you are validating the person’s feelings about their situation; you are showing that you feel his or her frustration. When it’s time to provide a solution, the solution must make sense; it has to be based on facts, statistics and/or experience. Whatever conclusion you draw, you must be able to show a clear line to that conclusion. Your logic must be based on correct principles rather than emotion. Essentially, your audience has to feel sure that you know what you are talking about.

 

This is where you must put your ego aside. Even if after listening and understanding the situation, you feel you are not the best person to help, logos demands that you direct the person to the best source that can help. Check your ego… check your ego… check your ego!

 

You don’t have to be a know-it-all to be a highly effective problem solver. Some of the most effective problem solvers are those that always know the right people and places to go to for help. Many highly effective problem solvers are just exceptional resource banks that you can draw on to find the answers you seek.

 

So remember, Ethos, Pathos and Logos – the great philosopher Aristotle thought of these 3 elements as integral to making a sound argument. As it turns out, they are equally effective in the art of solving problems.

The Top 5 Mistakes People Make When Their Actions Are Motivated by Money

Maybe this article is more projection than anything else… maybe none of you reading this have ever made the mistakes I have in the hot pursuit of the almighty dollar. Whether you think you’ve been a sucker before or not, this is still an important article for you to read because you may be on the verge of becoming a sucker.

Some lessons are learned the hard way and others, the excruciating way. This, for me, has been a lesson of extreme excruciation that I would not wish on my worst enemy… I don’t think. J

 

Nothing good, impactful, beneficial, innovative, long-lasting and priceless can be created when your motivation is fueled by the desire to make more money. Usually, someone wins and others lose or the scheme immediately crumbles. Either way, it is a failure of enormous proportions when money is the compass that guides your thoughts and actions.

 

Don’t get me wrong, money is good for all the wonderful things it can do for you. It pays the bills, pays for your vacations, pays for your house and your car but still, money is just a byproduct of providing value. Money is a tangible reward but it is of far lesser value than intrinsic rewards.

 

The problem is that when money motivates your actions, you are basically doomed to eventually fail. No matter what you might think, if you do anything simply in the name of making more money, I guarantee you that you will FAIL. There is simply no question about it. Following is a list of the top 5 mistakes people make when their actions are motivated by money.

 

Mistake #1: Lose Focus

One of the first things that happen to you when money motivates your actions is that you lose your focus. Regardless of what you had in mind, it will go right out the window if more money leads someplace else. Since money is the main factor, you will begin to compromise your initial mission and change your direction in the pursuit of money.

 

It doesn’t matter where it leads as long as you believe more money will come at the end. Getting lost won’t be too hard when money is leading because it has no eyes nor value but what you give it.

 

For instance, let’s say that you are passionate about creating and selling original designs of organic cotton t-shirts and you endeavor to start a small business doing just that. In the process of setting up shop, you discover that it’s cheaper to buy your shirts in Cambodia but the trade off is that you won’t be able to guarantee that the cotton is organic or that the workers are treated fairly.

 

If your mission is based on your core principles and intrinsic values, this quandary is an easy one… you decide to buy your shirts elsewhere. If on the other hand money is the main driver, you might easily decide to still buy your shirts in Cambodia and simply hope that the cotton is organic and that the workers are treated fairly. You’re not in Cambodia so no one can blame you when it goes awry… right? WRONGO!

 

The fact is that your customers are likely not from Cambodia either and if they have to hold someone responsible for this deception, it will be your head on the chopping block… I guarantee it.

 

Mistake #2: Make Assumptions

This happens when you have little or no interest in what you’re doing except to make money. If you have no passion for your market, you tend to make a lot of assumptions about how they behave. This is a paramount mistake and the quickest way to lose your core customers.

 

If you don’t understand your customers, how can you serve them? Soon enough, they will tire of your wares and seek out your competition.

 

In order to generate success in any market, you have to know your customers; you have to know what they need and how they like it delivered. This requires in depth research which requires time which you won’t care to commit because it has nothing to do with money.

 

Assumptions are said to be “the mother of all you know what ups” and it’s easy to see why.  When you constantly assume, you leave some important things to chance.  The most important thing left to chance is whether or not your customers will be interested in what you are selling. In most cases, they won’t be because your focus is on making money which means you’ll sell anything if you think you’ll make money.

 

If you assume your customers’ behavior and what they like, they will assume that you don’t care about them. The few that may have some interest in your wares won’t be nearly enough to sustain your business and you will soon suffer a well-deserved demise.

 

Mistake #3: Provide Little Value and Expect Big Returns

This is why the money motivator is a scheme. When you are motivated by making money, you focus less on providing value and more on making money. Your actions eventually become deceptive because you lie to your customers about the value you offer knowing that your product or service will not live up to your claims.

 

You do expect them to buy and keep on buying but you continue to provide less and less value. In an effort to make money, you’ll rush to create something in the short-term just so you can sell now without any regard for future ramifications.

 

In most cases, it will be very difficult to provide any real value to your customers if you are not even interested in your market. You are only there to make money NOT to provide value. You will begin to believe that your main goal is simply to make the sale and that what happens after is not your responsibility. As long as people buy and you make money, you’ve succeeded.

 

Nothing could be further from the truth because sooner or later your customers will see that you are not providing value and they will not only refuse to patronize your business but will tell as many others as they can to boycott you as well. Your reputation will suffer severely and you will be hard-pressed to rebuild it in that market. You will eventually be seen as nothing more than another two-bit hustler.

 

Mistake #4: Fall for Quick Fixes

I don’t know how many times I’ve done this but I do know that it has been more times that I want to remember. This is what happens when you have no focus, you make assumptions and provide little value – you fall for the quick fix of the day.

 

If you don’t know what you stand for you will fall for almost anything. Quick fixes are just that – quick! They are short-lived band aids that we go around applying when we chase money. Quick fixes are the quintessential pitfalls of money chasing schemes where only the “Quick Fixer” makes out.

 

The Quick Fixer knows that when a person motivated by money sees his product, he’ll jump at it. The quick fix is loaded with lofty promises of riches and overnight millionaire dreams but they NEVER deliver. How could they, they provide no value to anyone? They are just empty promises that pray on the desperation of people. In your feverish desire to simply make money, quick fixes might look like a great way to go but it doesn’t take long for you to realize that you’ve just been duped.

 

The worst part of all is that not only do you get taken for a ride but quick fixes are inherently rigged to take everyone you tell about it for a ride. So while you thought it was a great idea and shared it with the world, others followed suit and now they become trapped in the web of false promises and deceit which you perpetuated. A very tangled web – is it not?

 

Mistake #5: Failure to Put Money in its Place

When money motivates your actions, it means you have not put money in its proper place. Instead of you controlling money, it controls you. This is definitely no way to live because when money is in control, you lose control of your most important asset – YOU.

 

As I said before, money has its uses and when money is used appropriately, it’s great to have it in abundance. The problem is that if you don’t put money in its proper place, you won’t be able to control it. You have to understand the purpose of money.

 

I can guarantee you that while it will be very hard for you to succeed at anything when money motivates your actions, you will undoubtedly have much greater chances at succeeding when your motivation comes from within. If you do what fulfills you; what drives you internally, success will come as long as you are truly committed to your mission.

 

When money is in its place you understand that it is by no means ever a deciding factor your choices and actions. Money falls outside the circle of decision and only comes in as a result of your actions. It is neither the mission nor the end that you should pursue because it will always lead you a stray. When money is in its place you enjoy it for all its great uses like paying your mortgage, providing for your family and taking vacations without financial worry BUT it is not what fulfills you; it is not the reason you get up in the morning. You get up for a higher purpose; one that matters most to you; one that adds value to other people’s lives.

 

You may drive money (into your account), but money must never drive you. J

 

And the Moral of the Story Is…

I like money – I like having it to provide for my family and do the things that I’ve always wanted to do. It pays the bills and keeps a roof over our heads but at the end of the day, it’s just not that important to me. It used to be but not anymore.

 

I’ve failed at every endeavor where money was the driving force. Conversely, I’ve succeeded more often than not when money was not a part of the decision equation.

 

I can say unequivocally that I no longer do anything that is motivated by making money. My mission in life is not to make money – it is to help others achieve their dreams and goals by creating and delivering value in any way I can. Yes, I expect to be paid for my services because I have to eat and my family has to eat but no decision includes money as a factor – EVER.

 

Take this article for instance…

…I don’t know how many people will even bother to read it let alone care about the content. The truth is I don’t really care about that. What I do care about is that the article has valuable information and if it helps just one person overcome the “money weakness” I am happy with that. It means I did what I set out to do. I don’t know if this article in and of itself will ever generate much income for me if any, but in the grand universe, it doesn’t much matter.

 

For me the equation is simple: CREATE VALUE + DELIVER VALUE = SUCCESS.

 

The real secret to making money is that when you focus on creating and delivering value, money always comes to you. That’s right – it just shows up without you ever having to think much about it.

 

Once you create value and deliver it to a group of interested parties, you don’t have to worry about money – it always comes.

 

The greatest disservice you can do to you is to rob yourself of your true destiny. Find your dream, your purpose and follow it all the way. It will always yield abundance beyond your imagination in more ways that you had thought or imagined.

 

By the gold standard…

…I can tell you that I am not rich… YET; however, by the standard of universal law, I can confidently say that I believe I live in abundance because I believe in what I am doing and it fulfills me 100% to know that what I create adds value to the lives of others. I work on living my mission statement everyday and that’s all I need to know – the rest will fall right into place and soon enough, money will be chasing me.

 

 

 

The Secret to Personal Change

I have consumed tons and tons of information on personal growth and development and I have shared with many people, the powerful lessons that I have learned. Still, personal change has not come easy and for many it is a repetitive cycle of empty promises to themselves and others. 

 

Although personal change is not always easy, I have found that it has always been worth it to strive to be a better me in every way I can. That being said, I have often found it frustrating when others seemingly refuse to change regardless of the proven results or mounds of evidence indicating that the change will make them a better, wiser and more loving human being. I am not talking about evil people, I am talking about people who are blessed enough to see the light but still turn their back on it and go the other way… I am talking about me.

 

I hope that doesn’t surprise you to see me include myself in this bunch; someone who is supposed to be sharing his experience and teaching you about personal growth and development. How could this be?

 

The fact is that personal change requires consistent work on you to stay on track. It’s not so much that the steps are hard; it’s more so that recognizing your shortcomings and then admitting them can sometimes take a while. The light is not always turning in the lighthouse and when that happens, your ship can get wrecked.

 

The good news is that you can always mend the ship, repair the sails and get right back on your journey; it just requires a little courage and willingness to act.

 

Ponder if you will a moment…

 

Do you accept things in your life that you know are not good for you? Have you made choices in your life that are out of line with your core values?

I think that most, if not all, of us would answer yes to these two questions if we were honest with ourselves. I know I’d have to say yes without a doubt. The more important question is what have you done about it?

 

Personal Change Defined

First and foremost let me define what I mean by personal change.

 

Personal Change involves making conscious choices to think, feel and act differently than you have in the past. You can choose to make changes in every part or some parts of your life or simply change one thing. The reason it’s personal is because you are changing you and not anyone or anything else.

 

Although changes can be positive or negative, this article covers personal change from the standpoint of making positive changes.

 

Why Change in the First Place?

If you don’t change, you don’t grow. I’d say that the moment you decide to make a positive personal change in your life, you have a desire to grow beyond your current level. This means that the change would help you increase your understanding, develop your maturity and give you greater scope in the area in which you desire to make the change.

 

If you think about it, the only reason to make a personal change is the desire to grow. Whether you gain insight, a new perspective, a new connection or you increase your financial wealth, the point is that you would have grown because of the change you decided to make.

 

What’s the Secret?

I’ve pondered this a long time trying to wrap my mind around it. Even in the face of my own personal changes that I’ve made over the years, I have experienced that not all of them were so easy. Sometimes it took a lot of trial and error and many failures before I embodied a change and it became a habit.

 

Through it all though, there were certain common underlying elements in the process to make every change and I believe this is where the secret lies. The difficulty of course is mastering these elements and assimilating them into your character. Personal Change is hard because the required elements are not commonly exercised.

 

The secret of personal change lies in its compass. The wrong compass will undoubtedly lead you in the wrong direction. This is the part about personal change that is often misunderstood and therefore often leads to frustration and repetitive negative cycles.

 

The 6 elements below will help you understand and navigate the difficulties of personal change so that you can consistently achieve the results you desire.

 

Decisiveness

If you can’t even decide that you need to make a change, how will you begin to do it? The GI-Joe team use to say “knowing is half the battle.” Now why do you suppose they said that?

 

It is because no matter how much you know, it becomes meaningless without a release or an outlet. Basically, whether you know information that needs to be shared or you know of a change that you need to make, you have to put the wheels in motion in order to reach the full potential of the knowledge. This means that you have to make a conscious decision… you have to decide to move or nothing will happen.

 

Believe it or not, this is one of the hardest things for many people to do. It can be a real struggle especially if the change is significant. The more significant the change, the more it will interrupt your life and affect your current situation. This is what makes the decision process so arduous for many. Causing upheaval in your life is probably not something you’d like to do on a regular basis which in many cases is the very thing that cripples your actions. Sometimes you might even make the decision to move forward only to find out later that it was only a fleeting thought since you’ve done absolutely nothing different to make the change you sought. 

 

Decisiveness then does not only include the knowledge but also the will to act on it. Only then can YOU begin to realize the personal change.

 

Value

What is the value of the personal change you want to make? What does it mean to you? Making a personal change is more than just words or fad… it requires high value in order to achieve success. You have to know inside that the change is worth whatever sacrifices you need to make to reach your goal.

 

If your decision to make a personal change is based on others’ opinions, the latest trend or some external circumstance, you’ve already failed at making a deep or long-lasting impact. Personal Change requires that you believe in the reason for the change. It must be of high value to YOU; it must be in line with your core principles. If it is not, when the opinions sour, the trends fade and the circumstance succumbs, so will the personal change you’ve made, if you’ve even made it at all.

 

Deep inside, you must have a very valuable “WHY” for the change you seek to make. The value you place on it is the only one that counts in order for you to achieve the results you desire.

 

No value = No change.

 

Blueprint

This will come up over and over again on this website… rarely do things get done successfully without a blueprint. In order to get where you’re going, you need a clear and accurate roadmap.

 

This is why, before you begin your journey of personal growth and development, you should draw a blueprint of how you plan to get there. The blueprint should be clearly outlined with each of your steps and a deadline for achieving your goal. Some of the questions you should answer are:

 

1. What are the changes I want to make?

2. Why do I want to make this change?

3. What are the steps I need to take to achieve my goal?

4. Who are the people to whom I need to speak in order to achieve my goal?

5. Do I need any tools… what are they?

6. When will I begin my journey?

7. How long will it take?

 

These are very crucial questions that require clear and decisive answers before you proceed. You can break these questions down even further if you wish… just break it down far enough so that it makes sense to you. The point is that, you need to have a clear picture of where you’re going before you begin your journey. See the end first and then through your actions execute to make it happen.

 

Without your blueprint, you will easily become confused or overwhelmed. In many cases people forget why they’re even doing what they’re doing. This is where many people get lost and go off-track in their quest. Your blueprint helps you stay on course; you should consult it as often as you wish. It’s your blueprint so you are free to modify it mid-stride if necessary to achieve your ultimate goal.

 

Commit

If you don’t commit, you might as well quit! Without commitment you won’t get very far… your trip will end before it begins. Committing is very hard for many people to grasp and for some a very scary ordeal.

 

Let’s get one thing straight right now – commit is a verb not a noun. Commitment is the noun that requires the action to commit. In other words, you have to act in accordance with the commitment you made in order to achieve the results you desire. Lip service won’t amount to more than a hill of Jack’s magic beans and thinking about it without following through with action will result only in self delusion.

  

Let me give you an example of what I mean.

 

I have a friend who’s been a chronic smoker for years and he has tried to quit many times. Each time he’s tried to quit he’s said that he’s committed to doing it. He’s tried the patch, the lozenge, the pill and all sorts of glorified quick fixes and still he has been unsuccessful. He blames his failure on stress, pressure and a host of other life challenges all the while claiming that he’s committed.

 

He’s even gone as far as going outside for a smoke and then chewing mint gum in an effort to disguise the scent from him and others. He is deluded and in that delusion, he still continues to claim to be committed.

 

After 9 years of failed attempts to quit, I asked my friend, “Why don’t you just go cold turkey and quit?” His reply was that he needs something to help him quit. I replied, “Yes I know, you need commitment and the will to follow through on it.” He still insisted that he needed something else external to himself in order to achieve his goal. Needless to say, my friend is still a chronic smoker and I still challenge him to simply commit and go cold turkey.

 

The moral of the story is very simple. No matter how much help you have and no matter how great your resources, it means “diddly squat – zippo – nada” if you are not committed to the cause.

 

Practice

Have you ever heard the term, “practice makes perfect?” If so and you’ve tried it, then you also know that it is true… well except for the perfect part. In my own words, I’d say that it is absolutely true that practice makes excellence.

 

If you are committed to making a personal change, you have to put it into practice for it to become a habit. Once you develop your change into a habit, it becomes rooted in your character and personality – you would have achieved your goal.

 

Again, heed the caveat, like commit, practice is a verb not a noun. If you don’t do the things that you need to do to bring your personal change into fruition, it simply won’t happen. This means that especially at the times when you don’t feel like practicing are when you should make the extra effort to do it. It means living the change day in and day out until it becomes a habit.

 

This should be easy though, like taking candy from a baby because you’re committed… right? J

 

Consistency

Without the sixth element, all the other five are standing on shaky ground. Personal Change requires diligent and steady work in all these areas in order to achieve the results you desire. No amount of knowledge or experience can ever replace consistent effort. This is the coal in your train engine, the fire in your belly. If you are not willing to consistently excel at these 6 elements, personal change will continue to elude you.

 

Now What?

I’m not saying it will always be easy… in fact in my experience, personal change has always been challenging and in many cases quite difficult. That being said, there aren’t many things in life worth having or doing that comes easily, otherwise, they would have little value. Like I said before though, it’s always worth the effort when you experience the positive results.

 

The more important question is if you’ve reached this point in my article, what are you going to do about your personal change? Is there anything about YOU that you’ve always wanted to change but struggled with?

 

At least now you have no more lame excuses as to why you can’t do it or why it’s so hard. I just gave you more than a head start… the blueprint if you will. No one can give you the rest because the rest is literally up to you. You have the information – what you choose to do with it is your responsibility.

 

Leader or sheep… you decide. J

 

 

 

 

Killer Series: 7 Steps to Building a Killer Team

Have you ever watched a high-performing team in action? Better yet, have you ever been a part of a high-performing team?

I don’t how many of you watched the show that the Chinese put together for the 2008 Summer Olympic Games but I can tell you it was truly a spectacular sight and accomplishment. This was the pinnacle of a high-performing team in action – what I like to call a Killer Team. The pure energy and masterful synchronicity was absolutely impeccable. They were fluid and flawless during every show and absolutely electrifying with every move. It was definitely a sight to behold and if you didn’t have the opportunity to see it, I can say without a doubt that you missed something very special.

I don’t know what they will do when the games hit London in 2012 but I do know they’ve got their work cut out for them. I have had the opportunity to experience the difference between a Killer Team and a team that gets killed. It is always a much happier, more productive, more efficient and more creative scene when you are on a Killer Team – as if that’s not obvious. It is so much more powerful that my ultimate goal when working with a team is to be a part of and cultivate a Killer Team. This is of the utmost importance the moment you begin to work in multiples.

 

Whether you are leading or are a part of a team, this should be your ultimate goal. Everything else that the team accomplishes rests with the way they are able to work together. It will be next to impossible to achieve any result of great value if your team is not working together. If some of you are pushing while others are pulling, it will create negative energy and in some cases wreak havoc on the whole team. Contrary to the popular belief – opposites do not attract, especially when it comes to teams.

 

Like-mindedness is essential for team success; the goal of the team must be the focus of every team member in order to achieve the best results. That being said, following are my best ideas on what it takes to build a Killer Team. I’ve broken it down into 7 steps that you can begin to apply immediately and achieve immediate and positive results.

 

 

1. Embody the mission

This is something that will come up over and over again on this website in some context or another. So many people embark on new journeys, start new projects or new relationships without ever creating a mission for what they want to achieve. It is actually ludicrous when you think about it; see yourself in your mind’s eye getting ready to do something or go somewhere without knowing exactly what it is you are trying to accomplish.

Does that make sense? Of course it doesn’t. That would only make sense to a moron and I know that’s not you.

 

So then, the first step in building a Killer Team is to embody the mission. Embodying the mission though means several things. In order to be one with your team mission, every member must be willing to commit to it without wavering; you must all see it through together.

Several things occur when a mission has been embodied successfully.

 

Creating and living the mission – when the whole team is involved in creating the mission, it makes them feel like they are a part of something greater than themselves. Their values become a part of the whole which makes it personal and therefore automatically commands more commitment. It is a lot easier to live a mission that you created than it is to live someone else’s; in fact I’d say it’s damn near impossible to live a mission you didn’t have a hand in creating. This is absolutely essential if you want your team to fully embrace the mission – be one with it. You must all be involved in the creation of it and then you must all live it every single day for maximum impact.

 

Clarity in purpose – nothing beats the knowledge of destiny. When you know exactly what you want to achieve and precisely where you’re going, it’s pretty difficult to miss the mark. At that point you only have to choose the right vehicles to get you to your destination – to your goal. A purpose-driven goal is one destined for success. Once every team member is clear on what the purpose is, expectations are aligned and focus is singular. This creates power beyond your imagination and productivity skyrockets under these conditions.

 

Roles & responsibilities defined – this cannot be stressed enough. I’ve seen so many teams implode because the members have no clue what each is supposed to be doing. This is what creates chaos on a team and breeds frustration that lead to conflicts that lead to undesired or disastrous results. It is absolutely imperative that roles and responsibilities are clear and that each team member knows not only what he or she is supposed to be doing but also exactly what each of the other team members are supposed to be doing. This is important in order to achieve maximum efficiency and efficacy. It allows your team to execute at a high level with the least effort. No double work!

 

The tie that binds – this is what embodiment of a mission does; it creates a deep bond among those who’ve created and are indeed living it. This is a very important element as you will see in the next step, Cultivate Synergy. If you create a mission together, live it daily together and commit together to see it through, this creates a powerful and almost unbreakable bond. It creates unshakable focus and through your commitment, it crystallizes your purpose – the team’s purpose.

 

2. Cultivate Synergy

Synergy is supremely important for any team to function at its peak. This is the pinnacle of togetherness in a common cause. When a team is synergized, each move they make is like flowing water; they move in fluidity and synchronized harmony. It’s really a beautiful thing to experience and if you have, you know exactly what I am talking about.

 

Cultivating synergy requires transparency and openness among all the team members. It requires the desire to listen with the intent to first understand each other and also the courage to state your point of view. It requires that, when trying to resolve issues or come up with solutions where you do not all agree, that you always seek

The Third Alternative

which is a solution derived from all the desires combined to create a better solution than any of the individual ideas – it promotes and demands win/win.

 

Furthermore, cultivating synergy also requires that you cherish teamwork in all facets and eliminate competition – at least against each other. Competition among the team can easily, and often does, lead to “I first and team second” and selfishness. This creates the “what’s in it for me” mentality which throws the whole idea of the team purpose right out the window.

 

Rather than promote competition, Killer Teams promote collaboration; they promote cooperation and fellowship. Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the table, members of a Killer Team sit on the same side. Side by side is better than opposing sides – both from a physical and psychological stand point.

 

When a team is synergized, trust is at its pinnacle – each teammate trusts the other to do exactly what he is supposed to do. Each member covers the other and is confident that his/her backside is covered at all times. If you are unable to trust your teammates, you will be unable to achieve success as a team.

 

Synergy is what made the L.A. Lakers of the 80’s and Chicago Bulls of the 90’s so great. The players trusted each other – they knew when to give the ball up to the next man. They seemed to always know where each other was on the court and every man seemed to know where he needed to be in order to receive the ball and sink a basket. It was like watching beautiful choreography when these teams played. 

 

3. Level the playing field

For the most part, every team has a leader as well it should. There should be someone in the director position – the person responsible for making sure the blueprint is followed and the goals are met. That being said, one of the most important elements of a Killer Team is a level playing field.

 

This means that no one and I mean no one is above the law so to speak. As a matter of fact, the first person upholding the laws of the team should always be the leader. His/her example should be like a shining beacon to all other team members.

 

Leveling the playing field is simple – it requires that every member of the team is accountable for his/her actions. Each person from the top down is held to the same standard and has equal opportunity to voice opinions, ideas and grievances without fear of negative recourse. Each team member must treat every other team member as an equal and with love and respect.

 

Leveling the playing field in this manner can often create powerful and unbreakable bonds – it fosters loyalty. When every team member knows that his part is just as important and is given equal standing to the next person’s, it becomes easy to commit. The purpose of the team comes alive and thrives in the harmony of collaboration – in synergy.

 

4. Foster heretics

Killer Teams are notorious for going against the grain – they often observe the masses and do the opposite. As such, even though a team usually has a leader, Killer Teams expect leadership to come from any rank, any position, anywhere. This is why they foster heretics.

 

Killer Teams are always looking for leaders – not just one. Heretics are leaders because they don’t wait for others to make change, they start it and others follow. Heretics abhor the status quos – they are not interested in the discovery from last week, they want to go forth into new frontiers and make the next discovery.

 

The best Killer Teams are usually made up entirely of heretics – leaders. Mindless sheep get left in the pasture while the heretics steal the dawn of the day. While you whine about breakfast, heretics are busy eating your lunch and stealing your supper. Killer Teams are known for beating others to the punch and the reason is that they only recruit innovative and forward-thinking individuals; those that would sooner crush the status quos than live a day by it. Killer Team members only like the status quos because it gives them a new challenge – it gives them a change to champion.

 

Killer Teams are at their best when they are fueled by heretics because there are leaders in every hall making changes and breaking new ground. When you are part of a team that operates this way, you are constantly in a state of inspiration because you see the world anew each and every day.

 

5. Discourage conformists

As Killer Teams foster heretics, something else happens automatically, they discourage conformists. Conformists are those who uphold the status quos – they fight for the status quos. Conformists hate change, they consider most change a threat and that’s why they live in fear.

 

Killer Teams have no use for these types of individuals because they know they won’t bring any creativity or innovation to the table. They will simply do what others are doing without ever giving a thought to change; even in the face of a broken system, conformists will still fight for the status quos.

 

A team of conformists create nothing, build nothing and change nothing. They simply do what they are told or what they are expected to do. There is a place for these people… in an ant hill. Ants are like programmed soldiers – they each have a job that they were born to do and they do it until they die. It’s great for an ant, probably get a medal or a crumb, but very sad for a human being.

 

As one comedian said of our 43rd president and I’ll paraphrase, “conformists do the same thing on Wednesday that they did on Monday, no matter what happened on Tuesday.”

 

Teams that consist of conformists are the teams that are getting killed by Killer Teams. Conformists are managers, not leaders; they manage the assembly line and do exactly as they’re told. Heretics are leaders; they chase all that is considered taboo in the hopes of positive change. Killer Team members are heretics because they thrive on change and crushing the status quos.

 

6. Be A Square

If you want to build a Killer Team or lead one, you must understand and master how to be a square. Ever wonder why it almost always never works when a third party tries to solve problems in a relationship, especially when no request was made for help? These people are usually told to butt out!

 

On a team, one of the worst things you can do is create triangulation in a problem. Triangulating a problem means taking a problem that occurred between and affected two individuals or two groups and inserting a third party to fix the problem. What usually happens is, the conflicting parties end up confessing each other's sins and then the mediator is left in the difficult position of deciding who’s right and who’s erred.  This almost always never ends well – at least one person usually comes out of this situation unhappy.

 

Individuals who build and lead Killer Teams never create triangulation in a problem. Instead, they promote one-on-one Third Alternative resolution. This approach basically says that if you have a conflict with another teammate, you agree to work through the issue together until you reach a resolution that you are both happy with. If a third party is ever inserted into the equation, it would only be because the conflicting parties both agreed that it was best in the course of resolving their issue.

 

When you build and lead a Killer Team, you must commit to being a square with every team member, no triangulation ever unless explicitly requested by both conflicting parties. Be a square and you will always be fair.

 

7. Get out of the way

Many teams have been thrown completely off track when this element gets muddled. It is possible to build and lead a Killer Team only to find that you’ve limited its potential by constantly getting in the way. Part of the reason for adhering to the 6 steps above is so that it makes it very easy for you to follow the 7th.

 

Once your Killer Team is in place and every team member knows what to do, as a leader your job is to now get out of the way. When you remove yourself from every nook and cranny, remarkable things begin to happen. Team members work together, creativity is high and results are astounding. I’ve seen so many talented leaders fail at getting out of the way so badly that the team failed and the mission never got off the ground.

 

I remember once when I was charged to lead a group of about 90 individuals at a company symposium. My task was to lead the team of individuals who were monitoring classrooms and catering to the customers. This by far was one of the most important leadership roles at the symposium. On the morning of the pep rally just before the event got underway, I was scheduled to give my team a pep talk – prepare us for what was ahead.

 

I said many things that morning but one of the most important things I did was recognize the incredible talent that was on my team, plant the seeds of the mission and then stepped aside and watched a well-oiled machine run. The results were, as you can imagine, astounding. I was confident in the tenacity of my team, I knew that it was packed with heretics and experience so I simply shared the mission, gained unanimous consensus with it and then provided a platform for them to execute – I got out of the way.

 

This is often very hard for leaders to do – instead, they try to control every outcome and every process. For the most part though, all they end up doing is managing instead of leading which defeats the entire purpose of building a Killer Team.

 

What kind of team are you on?

So, are you on a team? Where do you think your team falls, Killer or Getting Killed?

 

If you want to build teams that accomplish great things, you must be willing to commit to the 7 steps above. I realize that it may seem like you don’t have much of a choice when it comes to who is on your team, especially if you have a job; however, you can still be a heretic, a leader.

 

You can start your own Killer Team within a team. Perhaps you want to start a Killer Team at work whose sole purpose is to create positive changes in the workplace and stamp out the status quos. Just remember, the top doesn’t always mean the CEO, the top can start with you.

 

 

What's Worse Than Failure?

Pondering the title of this article, many people may not be able to think of anything worse than failure right away... except perhaps, death. If you think about it for a while though some other thoughts may pop into your head.

For me, this is a profound topic when it comes to living up to your full potential because I know that the fear of failure is quite common. Many people fail to act because they are afraid of failing... or are they?

It's been my experience, more often than not, that many people aren't necessarily afraid of failing per se but are really afraid of the perceived stigma of failure. In other words, they fear the perceived societal backlash of failure. They do not want to see the world look back at them in disapproval or disappointment – they want to be accepted. This perception drives the motivation to stay still because the perception is that if you remain still and do nothing, you won’t fail. The other part that comes with staying still though is that doing nothing also produces nothing, except the status quo.

Fear of failure cause many people to fight hard to keep the status quo. They believe that as long as nothing changes, they have nothing to fear. It is easier to go in the same direction as the current than it is to swim against it – no one wants to be a salmon. The problem with this position is that even though you are afraid of change, change continues to happen around you constantly and sooner or later, you will have to move or get run over. No greatness has ever been achieved without the will to be a salmon – without the courage to observe the masses and do the opposite.

In fact, the history of the world's greatness is built on many failures. The power of failure lies within the lesson. Did you learn anything from your failure and how will you apply what it taught you the next time? You see, your failures only remain just that if you miss the lesson that lies within and there is undoubtedly always a lesson or two that you need to learn in order to achieve success.

Remember that Christopher Columbus was looking for the Far East when he stumbled onto the Caribbean Islands and what is now the United States of America. What an absolute blunder in direction that was? That failure though led to Christopher Columbus' greatness. He never did find the coast of China; however, he passionately pursued is dream and it changed the history of sea explorations forever. He inspired many other explorers through his perseverance and courage.

Another example is Sir Alexander Flemings’ accidental penicillin discovery which came after many failed attempts to find an antiseptic for treating battle wounds that didn’t endanger the patients. Dr. Fleming believed that there had to be a better way to treat the wounds of soldiers without them succumbing to death in the process. Though he was looking for a better antiseptic, he discovered something better – the first antibiotic which revolutionized medicine and how we treat wounds.

Both great men in pursuit of a dream - something they believed in and we would not know their names today had they not taken action.

The point is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with failing as long as you learn from it. In fact, failure is imperative to success and I don't think you can achieve much success if you've never failed at anything. I have personally failed way more times than I have succeeded; however I've always done my best to grasp the lesson and apply it the next time. It may take several tries but what the heck; the fun is in the pursuit of greatness anyway.

So what's worse than failure?

Inaction is far worse than failure... in fact inaction is far worse than anything else you can think of. Just imagine what life is like for a paraplegic and then multiply that by 10,000. They are unable to do much to help themselves – how agonizing do you imagine that is? Now if you are a capable person and you choose inaction – what does that make you? It may sound harsh but I think you’ll agree that makes you a worthless lump. That is of course if you want to achieve success – if you are in pursuit of greatness. If not, be my guest and enjoy the status quo in mediocrity.

It still befuddles (and saddens) me how many people I talk to on a daily basis, who refuse to act out of fear. These are not feeble-minded individuals either; these are well-schooled and smart individuals. The point is that fear of failure cripples you. When you let fear lead, you will always be unable to act. This is why true leadership takes courage because you have to act especially in the face of fear.

I've talked to, counseled and mentored many individuals who refuse to pursue their dreams and goals because they are afraid of the stigma of failing. This happens even when all the tools and resources are available. What I often hear are a myriad of excuses and justifications as to why it's not the right time to act. My answer is always the same "If not now, when?"

When is the right time to act?

This question has a very simple answer; however many people attempt to rationalize why they don't act as opposed to admitting their fear. The right time to act is always when you're ready to – not one minute before or after. Your readiness will depend on your independent thought; on what you believe in and what you desire to achieve. Only you can answer these questions and thus determine your readiness to take action.

Action does not require external stimuli before it happens – that's reaction. What you need is pro-action which requires your readiness and willingness to act because you believe in something. It doesn't matter in what state the world is or how your finances look; if you believe in something and you have a true desire to achieve it, the only thing left to do is to act.

If you choose inaction, nothing will happen. Whatever you believe in and whatever you desire will simply become a fantasy all because you did not act. Your circumstances have nothing to do with the outcome - your choice not to act does.

On the other hand, what if you choose to act on your belief, to go after your desires? It is guaranteed that something will happen if you choose to act. Sure, the outcome may very well be a failure and you may not meet your objectives this time; however, just think of all you will have learned. Additionally, how much fun will you have had in exercising your freedom to choose to follow your dream? This, in my view, is absolutely priceless. Through the many failures I have had, I don’t regret any part of the experiences... they were fun and I learned a whole lot too.

Let me share a scenario of how one little act can make a whole lot of difference.

I was on the subway one morning in New York City when an unstable man came on the train yelling and screaming at another passenger. He threatened to stab her in the head several times and when she ignored him he got even more irate. At this point the man began to make lewd gestures towards other passengers and threatened to stab them as well. As I glanced around the train car I could see how tense everyone was, most ignoring the man and trying hard not to look in his direction. My impulse was to do the same because let's face it, the man was scary.

In my gut though I was feeling a ping - I felt like I had to do something. I believed that what this man was doing was not only wrong but very dangerous. I thought to myself, "What if my daughters were on this train, wouldn't I want someone to do something? Wouldn’t I like to think that I raised them with good character principles that would compel them to do something?" With that thought in mind and the ping in my gut, I decided to act.

Now don't let your imagination run wild, I'm no Jet Li. As much as I played the scene in my head where I took this guy down in 2 moves and subdued him without harming him or anyone else, that's not how it played out... no movie heroics from me. I told you I was scared... just as afraid as any of the other passengers but I wasn't about to let my fear cripple me; I couldn't let it stop me from taking action on something I believed in.

So, instead of movie heroics, I opted for the path of least resistance. Being a big Law & Order fan, I took note of the man's features and what he was wearing right down to the dirty Nike sneakers with the 2 scuff marks on the back of the right heel and the gray jacket with the tear at the rotator-cuff. I then got off the train at the next stop and quickly ran to the station clerk at the booth and got her attention. I explained the situation to her and provided a thorough description of the man while she relayed it to police officers at the next 2 station stops.

Now while there were no movie heroics, the man was pulled off the train by the police 2 stops from where I got off and the threat was no more. Can you imagine the relief of those passengers? I know I would be relieved if I were on that train.

Now imagine if I or someone else did nothing? The situation could have gone so many other ways - many of them unpleasant. This man could have easily lost it and went off on the passengers and then you would only see the news headline that a crazy man went on a rampage and stabbed several people on a New York City subway killing two and injuring nine.

The point of telling you this story is not to paint me as a white knight. It is simply to illustrate the significant difference one simple act can make when you believe in something. I simply acted because I believed it was the right thing to do. I would not have been able to sleep knowing that I did nothing when I know I could have done something, especially if I had to read an awful headline like the fictitious one outlined above. I don't think that would sit well with you either.

I know that I'm beating you in the head with this but if you've read the article to this point, I think you understand why by now. The greatest failure is the failure to act. If you believe in something, if you have a dream and you fail to act, you have suffered the greatest failure and it will remain just that for as long as you choose to do nothing.

In case you haven't gotten it by now... I'll spell it out this way. Failure is a choice and so is success. This is why when you try and fail, you can choose to try again. Choosing to try means you've chosen to accept the possibility of failure. Learning the lessons of your failure and choosing to try again so you can apply those lessons means you've made a choice to succeed. It's all up to you... your choice.

Action in the face of fear is true courage.